


Everything is Better, Part Three

by CeleryLapel



Series: Everything is Better the Second Time Around [3]
Category: Community (TV)
Genre: AU, Baby, Dad!Jeff, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kid Fic, Language, Mild Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 169,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7496928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeleryLapel/pseuds/CeleryLapel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a continuation of the series, “Everything is Better the Second Time Around.”</p><p>If Annie Edison had a child before she entered Greendale and how this situation might have shaped her and Jeff’s relationship. </p><p>Part Three begins at the close of Season Two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Domestic Transitions

**Author's Note:**

> As promised, here is Chapter 1 of Part 3. Thank you, dear readers, for following along. And a big appreciation to all of you who have provided feedback, ideas, and encouragement along the way.
> 
> And if you haven’t seen it, the amazing randomramblesff created more fan art for the final chapter of Part Two (“Messiness”) - @harryspaceshipmchale on tumblr
> 
> Chapter Summary: Annie and Jeff move in together 
> 
> Warning: SO MUCH FLUFF
> 
> Disclaimer: Community and its original characters are the creation of Dan Harmon.

Annie smiled as Jeff reached over and grabbed her hand.

“You’re driving. Don’t you need both your hands?”

Jeff nodded as he looked at her intently.

“We’re at a red light. I think we’ll survive.”

She affected a mock pout. “So you’re going to let go?”

A grin began to spread over his face. “In a minute. But I promise I’ll make it up to you later.”

She laughed. “Okay.”

He disentangled his hand as the light turned green. Annie sighed and leaned back, pressing the side of her head against the window.

“As much fun as it’s been, I miss Sophie. I hope she was okay this morning with me not being there.”

Jeff shot a quick glance over to her and then resumed watching the road. “My mom said she was fine, remember.”

“But she’s my _baby_.” Annie’s voice rose slightly at the end of her sentence.

He groaned. “She’s fine. And we’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”

“What if she’s upset when she sees us? What if she thinks…”

“Annie.”

“Sorry.”

Jeff cleared his throat. “ _Anyway_ , I thought we had a pretty nice time after the paintball fiasco. And we cleared up some things.”

Annie began to let a grin come back to her face. She nodded at the memory. “We did.”

Jeff watched her expression out of the corner of his eye. “Soooo?”

She bit her lip and turned her head toward him. “When would work best? Do you want me to wait a few weeks, or ….”

He broke in, --“Anytime.”

She laughed. “Anytime? Tomorrow?”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

“Jeff!”

“We _could_.”

Annie let out a wistful sigh. “I know. But I need to pack and probably get rid of some things. And you and I need to go through stuff to see what we’re combining and in general figure out how we’re dividing things. I have some dishes I’d like to keep, and you don’t seem to have that many plates or glasses. And we haven’t even talked about how much the rent is. Or utilities. And…”

He interjected, “You’re not paying rent.”

She tilted her head so that she could see his face, noting his continual focus on the road along with a stern expression. She gasped, “Of course I’m paying rent! We’ll split it fifty-fifty.”

“But you don’t even know what my rent is.”

“What is it?”

“It’s more than you pay at Dildopolis.”

She nodded to herself. “Well, of course it is. But we’ll _split it_.”

“ _Half of it_ is _more_ than you pay at Dildopolis.”

She paled and placed a hand to her mouth. “Oh!”

“So don’t worry about it.”

Her eyes widened as she dropped her hand and continued to watch him drive. “I can’t just live with you rent free. That’s not fair. I’ll pay you what I pay at Dildopolis. Would that be okay? I don’t have much wiggle room in my budget.”

Jeff sighed. “You’re not paying rent. I can afford it with my consulting money and savings from when I sold my condo. And I’m paying it anyway. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not allowing you to do that.” She pressed her head against the side window.

“Annie, remember we had that little discussion about your _pride_ this morning? Don’t be short-sighted about this. Save your money. I know you work hard. Or even, look, you don’t have to work. You could spend all your free time with Sophie or studying or whatever. It’ll be less stressful.”

Annie turned to stare at him open-mouthed. She gasped again, “Do you know me at all?!? Of course I’m going to work! And you don’t even have the money to support Sophie and me! And even if you _did_ , there is no way I’d stop working. I can’t believe you’d suggest that!”

He winced, “Sorry. That was stupid of me.”

She huffed indignantly. “Well.”

He shook his head.   “But you don’t have to pay me rent. Save up some of the money you earn.”

Annie nodded slightly. She then clasped her hands together and let out a quick breath. “I can pay for utilities and groceries. Stuff like that?”

“I already pay for those things.”

She narrowed her eyes. “ _So do I_. And anyway, you will have more groceries now. And Sophie has lots of expenses. So I’ll pay for all her things. We can draw up a budget. We’ll make it fair.”

Jeff let out a long sigh as he kept his eyes on the road. “Annie, whatever we work out will be _fair_. But it can’t be _fifty-fifty_. I have expenses you probably don’t think of, like my gym membership, cable, my car…”

“I have a car.”

“Mine is a Lexus. And I told you a while ago, it’s _my_ baby. And I like to take care of her.”

Annie suppressed a smile. “Okay, you take care of _your baby_ and I’ll take care of _mine_. Deal?”

Jeff tensed. “You’re not paying for everything of Sophie’s either. Aren’t we doing this as a _team_? We can’t approach this as if she’s only your responsibility. If we do that, this won’t work.”

Annie bit her lip and looked over to him. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I guess it’s going to take me some time to get used to the idea that _we’re_ doing this now, and not just _me_. I’m used to just making decisions on my own.”

Jeff rolled the car to a stop at the next red light. He grabbed her hand again and turned to give her a small smile. “That’s okay. I’ve never lived with anyone either, so this is strange for me too. But I was raised by a single mom, you know. It was really rough. There’s no way you’re being a single mom when we live together.” 

*********************

“ _Mama_!” Sophie squealed as she ran awkwardly toward Annie while Jeff was closing the front door behind them.

Annie knelt down and hugged her. “Mommy missed you so much!”

“ _Mama missed_.”

Hank had trailed behind Sophie and was pushing his head into Jeff’s knee. Jeff bent down slightly and patted him on the head.

Annie grinned and scooped up Sophie. She stood and turned to Jeff. “Daddy missed you too, didn’t you Daddy?”

Jeff leaned over and gave Sophie a kiss on her cheek. “I missed you, baby hobbit. Hope you left grandma intact.”

Sophie giggled. “ _Dee Dee.”_

Jeff led the way as they went to the living room. Dorie stood there smiling and folding her hands together.

“She was delightful. I hope you two had fun with your friends.”

Jeff walked over and gave his mom a hug. “While things did not go as expected, yes, I’d say we had a good time.”

He exchanged a knowing smile with Annie.

Dorie then hugged Annie as she continued to hold Sophie.

“Thanks for taking such good care of her, Dorie. She wasn’t any trouble?”

Dorie brushed Sophie’s cheek with the back of her hand. She eyed her warmly as she spoke. “Of course not. We had a great time. She played with the fur creatures for a little bit, we had dinner, and we read some stories. Oh, and she showed me some very interesting games with her toys. She’s very observant.”

Annie smiled. “Hm?”

Dorie stepped back and regarded both Annie and Jeff for a moment before she continued, “She makes her kangaroo and bear kiss. And sometimes one of them kisses her baby doll. And they seem to take on different names. For instance, sometimes the kangaroo is _mama_ and sometimes it’s _dee dee_. Consistency doesn’t seem to be the most important thing.”

Annie blushed with a small smile as she looked over toward Jeff.

“Mom! Jeff crossed his arms over his chest.

Dorie turned to him. “What, dear? I thought it was adorable. I’m glad you’re being affectionate in front of her.”

He stared at the ceiling, a pinkness forming over his face.

Annie sat down on the couch and cuddled Sophie on her lap. She looked over at him with an annoyed expression and said, “Jeff, let it go. I think it’s cute too.”

“Sorry.”

She added matter-of -factly, “And maybe now’s a good time for us to tell your mom our news.”

Jeff looked over at her and gulped. “Oh, right. Yeah.”

Dorie eyed them both curiously as she sat down in a chair.   “News?”

Jeff nodded as he plopped down in the matching chair. Hank ambled over and, as usual, sat on his foot.

Annie looked at Jeff expectedly. “Or do you want _me_ to…”

He looked at her with slightly widened eyes and broke in, “No! Um…” He trailed off and merely sat there.

Dorie frowned and surreptitiously glanced at Annie’s left hand. She let out a breath of relief when she saw it was bare.

She tapped her finger on the chair arm. “Well don’t keep me in suspense. What’s the news?”

She watched as Jeff clasped his hands together.

_Was he sweating?_

Her eyes widened as he looked toward Annie, who was fiddling with her skirt while smiling sweetly and encouragingly at Jeff.

_Well no, that would be crazy. They wouldn’t let that happen, right?_

She smiled tightly as she turned back to her son.

Jeff cleared his throat before he said, “Annie and I decided we’re going to move in together.”

Dorie placed one hand on her chest and exclaimed softly, “Oh.”

“Mom?”

He watched as her face relaxed.

Annie leaned forward slightly and looked over at her with concern. “Dorie?”

Dorie let out a breath. “Heavens, that’s wonderful!”

Jeff eyed his mom suspiciously. “You seem relieved.”

She laughed giddily. “Relieved? Nonsense, dear. I’m very happy for you two.”

He stared at her as he continued, “I could have sworn you were going to say we were doing this too soon.”

Dorie shook her head. “Not at all! Not that it’s any of my business anyway…

Jeff snorted.

Annie shot him a glare.

-“but I think you two have been sensible with this whole thing. And really, living together will be nice. I’m sure it’ll be a lot easier for Sophie.”

Annie nodded and kissed Sophie’s head. “We’ll move into Jeff’s place, and then she’ll keep the study as her room. And I think it will be better for her to sleep in the same place every night.”

Sophie sucked her thumb and then burrowed her face into Annie’s chest.

“ _Mama_.”

Annie continued to pet her head. “We were just talking about her room right before we pulled in the driveway. Jeff thinks we should paint it a nicer color. So we’ll do that first before we move in.”

Jeff leaned back in his chair, relaxing slightly. “Not that I care, but you’d probably like it to be pink or something.”

Annie smiled with a blush. “I was thinking a light purple.”

Jeff exaggerated a sigh as he suppressed a smile. “That’s fine.”

Dorie smirked as she looked over at her son. “My my, this is happening under a lot of duress, I see.”

Jeff made eye contact with her. He stated quickly, “Oh, um, no. I want Sophie to feel comfortable in her room.”

“I know. I was just teasing.”

He frowned. “Oh.”

Dorie shook her head. She then turned her attentions to Annie. “Well isn’t this nice. I take it you’re doing this soon then?”

Annie nodded. “My lease is up at the end of June. So sometime in the next month.”

Jeff mumbled as he scratched Hank’s ears, “Or whenever.”

Annie smiled softly at him and then turned back to Dorie. “We need to work out the logistics, of course. We just decided on it this morning. You’re the first person we’re telling.”

Dorie raised one eyebrow. “Oh, well then I’m honored. I suppose you two do have a lot to work out.”

Sophie squeezed Annie and then turned outward and began to squirm. Annie placed her in a standing position on the floor.

“There you go, sweetie.”

Sophie leaned forward to kiss Annie’s knee.

Annie laughed softly and said, “I love you too, baby.”

“ _Too bee bee.”_  

**************************

“I didn’t think we’d spend our first anniversary like this.”

“Jeff, we’re almost done, and then we’ll go to dinner like we planned.”

Jeff bent down and gave her a soft kiss. He mumbled against her lips, “It’s fine. And hey, it’s not looking too bad.”

Annie beamed up at him. “Sophie’s going to love it.”

Jeff scanned the room as he continued to hold his paint roller. “I never thought I’d paint my study purple.”

“It’s not your study anymore.”

“True.” He turned and dipped the roller in more paint. “I think when we finish this coat, we’re all set.”

“We should let it air out for a few days before we let her sleep in here.”

Jeff sighed as he moved the roller over the paint tray. “Right. Ugh.”

“I don’t want her breathing in paint fumes. We can either stay at my place or we can have her sleep in your room in the meantime.”

“ _Our_ room.”

She nodded. “Right. _Our_ room. Which do you think?”

“Our room.” 

**************************

Jeff walked up to Annie and gave her a kiss as she entered the apartment.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

 _“Hi._ ”

Annie placed Sophie down on the floor and watched her toddle off toward the living room.

Jeff put his hands around Annie’s waist and pulled her in close. He placed a kiss under her ear and then said in a low voice, “I have something I want to show you.”

Annie giggled as a shiver ran down her spine. “Now? Let’s wait until Sophie’s asleep.”

He snorted. “That’s not what I was talking about. But now that you mention it, I can’t wait until the baby hobbit sleeps in her own room. This temporary situation is cramping my style.”

Annie patted him lightly on his chest and rolled her eyes. She then pushed away from him and made her way to the living room. She found Sophie busying herself by tossing items out of her toy bin.

Jeff followed and then stood next to Annie. They watched as Sophie continued to pick up various stuffed animals and throw them to the side.

“I wonder what she’s looking for.”

Annie shrugged. “I’m sorry she’s making a mess.”

Jeff motioned for her to follow him as he whispered, “Let me quickly show you something before she notices we’re gone.”

Annie nodded and followed him to Sophie’s room. He opened the door.

A grin spread over Annie’s face as she noted the burst of light purple color and white trim. Her eyes then swept to two items in the mostly empty room. There was a toddler-sized pink fabric-covered easy chair and a small white bookshelf in the corner.

Jeff carefully watched her expression as he asked, “I know we’re not having her stay in here until tomorrow night, but what do you think?”

Annie clasped her hands together and gave a little bounce. “Awwww! I love it!”

He shrugged and placed his hands in his pockets. “Good. She needs some place to put her books. And _read_ or whatever it is you tell me she’s doing although you and I both know she can’t read.”

Annie continued to smile giddily as she walked over and touched the bookshelf. “You could have put _your_ bookshelves back in here.”

Jeff groaned and moved his eyes to the ceiling. “I think those grown up lawyer shelves don’t really fit the décor. I found them a new home.”

“Really?”

He shrugged as he moved his eyes back to look at her. “Yeah. Troy said he needed more furniture. I have no idea why.”

“You didn’t ask?”

“Nah. I have a lot to get done here, Annie. I don’t need to get sucked into whatever he and Abed are up to since school got out. All I know is those two weirdos came by to pick up the shelves. They had some truck from Abed’s dad’s business.”

Annie walked back over to his side and stared at him in wonder. “You told them we’re moving in?”

“Nope. They didn’t seem to wonder why I was getting rid of the shelves. Again, we have a nice thing going now. Neither side is asking questions.”

She squinted at him. “Um hm.”

At that moment, Sophie came up behind them. “ _Dee Dee. Mama. Oooooohh… pink!”_ She quickly moved past them and made her way to the chair, tossing her bear on the floor. She then climbed into it and sat with a look of satisfaction on her face.

_“Fee cha.”_

Jeff nodded approvingly. “That’s right. Your egocentrism continues to be founded. That’s your chair, munchkin.”

 *************************

Not wanting to involve the study group yet in the Annie-and-Jeff-living-together issue that would likely incite a bit of gossip not to mention severe judgments from Shirley, they decided to handle the move mostly on their own. They made the decision to have the study group over for a movie night in the near future and break the news to them all at once.

Nancy, who turned out to be especially supportive and encouraging of their new living situation, was able to watch Sophie. Jeff was grateful Thanos and Ryan were willing to assist him in moving Annie’s large items out of her apartment.

Annie gave her bed and dresser to another woman in the building, which left mostly the couch, some tables, a chair, and some lamps. Jeff discovered Annie had originally picked up most of the furniture second-hand. She was able to sell back some of it to a resale shop and then gave Nancy and Ryan the crib (just in case they should need it) as well as the couch for their screened in porch.

Jeff took Annie aside as they lingered on the porch. He whispered, “I’m glad the confessional couch found a new home.”

She smiled coyly at him. “It definitely had its uses.”

“Just don’t tell Nancy and Ryan what else we used it for.”

Annie began to turn red as she swatted at him. “Jeff!” 

*************************

Annie was finally able to say goodbye to Dildopolis. She described the feeling as bittersweet _,_ being as it was the first place she really had to call her own.

She remarked wistfully, “I brought Sophie here when she was six weeks old. This was our place. It was so hard, but we did it.”

Jeff nodded as he wrapped his arm around her. They continued to stare into the empty apartment.

“You’ll miss it?”

She sighed. “Kind of. I know it’s a dump, but it was _my_ dump, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“But I’m really looking forward to _us_.”

“Me too.” 

****************************

Thanos patted Annie’s back as he lingered into their hug. He said, perhaps with a tear, “You won’t be a stranger? Dino will miss Sophie.”

Annie moved out of the hug and her lip began to tremble. “Awwww… of course. I’ll bring her over to play.”

“We’ll miss you, Annie. But good for you. I’m happy for you guys.”

“Thank you.”

Jeff watched the exchange and felt an increasingly familiar warmth in his chest.

Thanos turned to him. “As much as it pains me she’s leaving, you’re a good dude. See you? I’ll teach you how to do more dad things.”

“Definitely.”

Jeff no longer resisted when Thanos grabbed him into one of his bear hugs. 

*****************************

Annie sighed to herself as she carefully picked up the floral box.  She looked around the bedroom, her eyes falling to the floor near the bed.

“You might not want to put that under there. The hobmonster has been on the loose recently, remember?”

Annie looked up to see Jeff leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed across his chest.

She squinted at him and stuck out her tongue. “She’s not a _monster_. She’s just active.”

He remarked dryly, “I meant it with all affection.”

“I know, dummy.”

“I can help you find a place for that on one of the closet shelves.”

Annie frowned as she placed the box on the bed. She continued to look at it thoughtfully. “I might need to access it soon.”

He walked over and stood beside her. “What’s in it?”

She leaned forward and lifted the lid, placing it to the side.

Jeff spied a bunch of tiny baby clothes in various pinks, purples, yellows, and light green.

His eyebrows rose. “Wow. I haven’t seen those in a long time.”

Annie nodded somberly. “These are her most adorable baby clothes. I didn’t have the heart to get rid of them.”

“They are very cute.”

She sighed. “Yeah. If Shirley had a girl, I was going to give them to her. And now, well, I was talking to Holly, and she doesn’t know if she’s having a boy or girl. She has a bunch of stuff from Sam, but if she has a girl…” Annie shrugged as she continued, “maybe she’d like some more girly things?   I have tons of baby bows in here too.”

Jeff nodded. “I am sure Holly would love them.”

Annie turned to look up at him. “Her baby’s due next month.”

Jeff frowned. “Oh that’s right.” He added, “You still talk to her, huh?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Yes, Jeff. I talk to your _cousin_. I hope that’s okay.”

“Um, yeah, I guess.” He shrugged.

She shook her head. “And you say I have issues with my pride.”

“Annie, you talking to members of my family has nothing to do with my pride.”

She puffed out her chest and looked at him intently. “Pride in your former _bachelorhood_.”

He raised his arms up in the air in a mock defensive gesture. “Ha ha.”

Annie smirked and turned her attentions back to the box. She held up a white outfit along with a tiny white knitted cap. “These were the first things she wore coming home from the hospital.”

“Jesus, she was small.” He reached over and took the cap from her. He held it up to the light with a squint.

“I know.”

Jeff continued to regard the tiny cap in his hands with wonder. He then carefully placed it on top of the other ridiculously sized clothes. He stared at the clothing and felt a strange warmth pop up in his throat.

Keeping his eyes on the clothes, mumbled, “What if Holly has another boy?”

“Hm?” Annie had knelt next to the bed and was inspecting underneath it.

“What will you do with this stuff if you can’t give it to Holly?”

Her head obscured, Annie remarked, “I told you Nancy and Ryan might have a baby in the near future. If they have one and it’s a girl, that would be a nice home for them. At any rate, I can at least give them the non-girly stuff if they have a baby.”

Jeff crossed his arms over his chest and nodded as he continued to stare at the open box. He began to internally panic at his sappy reaction to the contents.

_What the hell is wrong with me? That’s the last thing Annie wants or needs._

He knew better by now than to voice any of the unfamiliar and alarming thoughts entering his head. 

********************************

Annie put her hands on her hips and looked around the living room with pride.

Jeff came up behind her, Sophie hoisted in his arms. He scanned the living room with a slight smile. “You’re pleased with the way things are turning out?”

Annie nodded. “I am. What do you think?”

He stared off at the far wall with a look of almost surprise. “Well I guess the teal accent wall is working.”

“Thanks for letting me do that. I figured as long as we were doing some painting, why not?”

“Yeah.   I guess I never think of stuff like that. And it’s your place too now. You don’t need to thank me.”

Annie grinned and then gestured over to another wall. “And the pictures? They look okay over there?”

Jeff let his eyes fall to where they had hung Sophie’s newborn and first birthday pictures. Next to the last picture were two more, one of Jeff and Annie together at Jeff’s mom’s house and one of the entire study group taken after their exams and before Pierce left the group.

Jeff nodded. “Yeah. I never think of that kind of stuff either.”

She turned back to him and regarded him with bemusement. “I did notice awhile ago you don’t have any pictures up. Not even of your mom.”

Jeff shrugged one shoulder while continuing to balance Sophie. She was playing with his collar button.

“I told you it just never occurred to me.”

“I think pictures are important. They make a place feel like a home.”

Jeff’s eyes suddenly caught another picture on a far wall. He squinted. “Is that one of you and your brother?”

Annie suddenly smiled brightly. “Yes, that’s me and Anthony. He’s probably changed a lot by now, but that’s how I remember him.”

Jeff placed his free hand on her shoulder. “Annie, I’m sorry. Look, have you talked to him at all? Maybe we could, I don’t know, invite him over? He could meet the munchkin.”

Annie turned to him, her smile fading. “Don’t be silly. I can’t put him in that position. Even if he wanted to talk to me, which I don’t really have any evidence that he does since we didn’t part on very good terms, I can’t just tell him about Sophie and expect him to keep that a secret. And I really don’t want my mom around her even if for some strange reason she wanted to meet her.”

“Annie, since you don’t know…”

She cut him off with a vigorous shake of her head, “Not now. I have a lot of thinking to do about that whole situation. But I don’t want to pretend my brother doesn’t exist. And I hope one day he can meet Sophie, but only when I don’t think I’ll upset him too much.”

Jeff gulped. “I understand.”

Annie changed the subject and remarked breezily, “We should put one up of your mom. What do you think?”

Jeff shrugged again. “I guess. The next time she comes over here if she sees all this and there’s not one of her she might be a _tad_ ticked off.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “Yes, Jeff, that’s why we’ll do it. To not tick her off.”

He chuckled.

She squinted at him. “I want Sophie to grow up in a warm household. And to me that means having reminders of the people she loves and who love her.”

Jeff leaned over and placed a squirming Sophie on the floor, allowing her to roam free. He wrapped his arms around Annie and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Sounds good to me.” 

***********************

Annie emerged from the bedroom, her brow furrowed in concentration.

“How did it go?” Jeff asked from the couch. He had glanced up briefly and then returned to his task of moving Ruthie around on the coffee table.

Sophie was standing and pushing her baby doll toward the kangaroo.

Annie shook her head. “Sometimes he’s so frustrating.”

“Sometimes?”

She sighed. “I know how you feel about it, Jeff.”

He remarked sheepishly, “Sorry. Are you saying he has a problem with you guys moving in with me?”

Annie grimaced and sat down in the living room chair. “Oh he had some things to say.” Her eyes lingered on Sophie. She smiled at her with a nod. As Sophie’s attentions went back to her doll, Annie caught Jeff’s eye.

She whispered, “He wants to see where we’re living. I hope you don’t mind, but I told him he could come over next Saturday.”

Jeff said in a low voice, “Why does he care?”

“I don’t know. I suppose it’s not an unreasonable request. We usually have visits at my place anyway, so we’ll have to develop a new routine.” She paused as she looked down at her lap.   “He probably should come over. But don’t worry, you don’t have to be here.”

“Did you want me to be here? I can.”

She shook her head. “It might be easier if you leave for a little bit. Go to the gym. Then he can see everything’s okay. He’s already met you anyway.”

Jeff stared at her with concern.   “But that was pretty brief. And not the most pleasant.”

She grimaced again and looked back up at him. “I don’t think it’ll be pleasant now, do you?”

He sighed and rubbed his free hand over his scruff. “Probably not. But look, as much as I would happily go the rest of my days without seeing the guy again, now that we’re living together it probably makes sense for us to meet again. The lawyer in me thinks we’d head off a lot of problems if he and I just talked more directly about things.”

Annie appeared puzzled. “What things?”

He looked at her incredulously. “About Sophie. And my role and his role.”

“ _Fee_.”

Jeff startled and then lowered his voice more, “We should talk about this later.”

Annie frowned. “Good idea.”

_“Bee bee cying.”_

“What is it, munchkin?”

Sophie pointed to her baby doll. “ _Bee bee wan mama.”_

Jeff watched her with fascination. He then asked in an uncharacteristically lilting voice, “Who’s her mommy?”

Sophie smiled proudly, grabbed her baby doll, and toddled over to Annie. She threw the doll on her lap and then proceeded to crawl up. 

*****************************

Jeff sauntered back into the bedroom holding a tray with a mug of coffee, a cup of tea, and a bowl of cheese crackers. He glanced down for a moment and smiled at the sight of the sippy cup perched to the right of the crackers.

“Ta da. We have breakfast.”

Annie narrowed her eyes at him with a growing smile. “That’s not breakfast.”

Jeff placed the tray on the bed and shrugged. “It’s a special occasion. Our first morning living together.”

Sophie, who was sitting next to Annie in the bed, chuckled heartily as she spied the crackers. She lunged forward and grabbed a handful.

Jeff plopped down on the bed and reached out to stop her, carefully taking the crackers from her tight spitty grasp.

He may have encountered some verbal resistance.

“Jesus, hobmonster. I’ll give you _two._ But you can’t stuff your face full of them all at once.”

Annie laughed as she watched Jeff attempt to reason with her. She grabbed he remote, turned on the television, and then flipped to a cartoon channel.

Sophie’s protests suddenly stopped as her eyes glued themselves to the screen.

Jeff groaned and leaned back in the bed. “What is that?”

Annie shrugged. “Something I’ve seen her watch at Shirley’s. If it’s good enough for Shirley’s kids, it’s probably pretty harmless.”

“And likely _pious_. I’m surprised you let her watch TV.”

Annie smiled as she watched Sophie become transfixed, absentmindedly pushing a cracker into her mouth.

“I don’t usually. But like you said, it’s a special occasion. And if you’re willing to get crumbs in _our_ bed, then I’m willing to let her zone out for a few minutes.”

Jeff reached behind Sophie to pull Annie in closer to him.

Annie mumbled, “This is nice.”

“It is.”


	2. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie and Jeff invite the study group over for movie night

Annie smiled to herself as she took in the scene – Sophie’s crib near the wall, the dresser/changing table, the toy bin, the white bookshelf, and finally the tiny pink chair. She felt a sense of relief wash over her, knowing that Sophie now had a safe, welcoming, and fun room of her own.

She felt her muscles in her neck and shoulders relax. They had been living in Jeff’s – er, _their_ apartment for close to a week now, and so far everything was going smoothly. She supposed she shouldn’t be too surprised by it, considering she and Sophie had spent a great deal of time there before they officially moved in.

Still, it was nice that they were now officially _home_.   She was delighted Jeff had allowed her to spruce up the place (well, technically he had been letting her do that since sometime last summer, but he’d probably never admit it), and it was refreshing to have the added space for Sophie’s increasing rambunctiousness as she, now close to two years, explored her world.

But the best thing about the situation was that she now felt she and Jeff were really a _team._ She had to admit that it wasn’t always her first instinct to allow him to make decisions with her, but she was working on it. And she knew Abed was right when he said they were a _family._ She trusted Jeff with Sophie, and she felt her love deepening for him whenever she watched him with her.

She knew he’d always keep his ‘baby hobbit’ safe.

At that exact moment in her thoughts, Jeff came up behind her.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Annie began to blush as she turned around.

She spotted Sophie gleefully sitting on the back of Jeff’s shoulders, her hands smacking his head.

_So much for safety._

Annie tensed and opened her mouth wide. She began to frantically swat the air. “Put her down!”

A giddy grin appeared on Jeff’s face. He said teasingly, “Why? She likes to be tall.”

Annie clutched at her throat as she stammered, “Jeeff…um…er…she’ll fall!”

He cocked an eyebrow and watched her with bemusement. “No she won’t.”

Sophie giggled and kissed Jeff’s head. “ _Dee Dee big!”_

Jeff’s eyes rolled upward as he remarked, “That’s right, I’m _gigantic_.”

 _“Fee big_!”

“Sure. Let’s go with that for now.” He chuckled for a moment and let his eyes meet Annie’s.

Annie placed her hand near her mouth, still feeling anxious but finding herself suppressing a smile. _This is too cute._

She cleared her throat and said in a calmer voice, “Please bring her down. She could hit her head on the ceiling.”

“I’m not _that_ gigantic, you know. She has some room.”

“Jeff.”

“Fine.” He sighed as he flipped Sophie over and then moved her back down.

Sophie squealed.

Jeff then hoisted her to his shoulder on one side, which elicited an unintelligible verbal protest from Sophie.

“Sorry, munchkin.”

Annie let out a breath. “Thank you.”

Sophie scowled at Jeff and Annie and proceeded to hit Jeff’s shoulder.

Jeff frowned at her and said firmly, “No hitting.”

“ _No!_ ”

She hit him again.

Jeff shook his head and then said evenly, “We don’t hit.”

A tear began to fall down Sophie’s cheek, and Jeff lightly pressed her head against his shoulder. She buried her face into his shirt and began to sob softly.

 _“Fee?”_ She asked, weakly through her tears.

Jeff sighed and looked helplessly over at Annie. He began petting Sophie’s head.

Annie’s expression softened as she said, “I don’t know why she’s started hitting.”

Jeff looked at Annie incredulously as he whispered, “Are you serious? You swat me all the time. Not that I mind the _abuse_ but maybe you should watch it when she’s around.”

Annie startled and placed her hand near her mouth. “Oh!”

Jeff nodded at her triumphantly.

Sophie’s sobs became fainter.

Annie took a deep breath and then said, “You handle her really well.”

Jeff scrunched up his face for a moment before he let out a long and dismissive, “eeeehhhh.”

“You do.”

“Well I’m not going to fight with her. I learned that from dealing with our study group.”

Annie smiled. “That’s true. Speaking of, we should go over the details for movie night.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“It’ll be nice to tell all of them.”

“But not Pierce.”

She sighed. “I invited him, but he didn’t respond to my text or email. I told Troy to make sure he knows he’s invited, but Troy said Pierce is ignoring him. I’m hoping he’ll change his mind and decide to come over, at least for my sake.”

“Because you’re his favorite.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure Sophie is his favorite.”

“Well why wouldn’t she be?” He gave Sophie a kiss on her forehead.

Annie tilted her head to the side and regarded him thoughtfully.

His eyes widened as she continued to stare at him. “What?”

Annie battled her eyelashes twice, rose on her tiptoes, and placed a kiss on his jaw. “You know, I probably was being a little overprotective with the shoulder-riding. But she’s still so small. Maybe wait until she’s two? And make sure the ceilings aren’t too low. You _are_ gigantic.”

Jeff chuckled. “Okay.” 

*****************************

Jeff stabbed a slice of turkey sausage. The toothpick then snapped off.

He mumbled, “How the hell can toothpicks be so difficult?”

_“Ell. Picks.”_

He startled and looked up to see Sophie sitting in her high chair (the one place he knew he could put her without having to watch her every second), staring across the table from him in wonder. She had been crushing and then pushing around cheese crackers on her purple plastic plate.

Jeff grimaced. “Okay, obviously I need to watch my language. But we won’t tell Mommy about it, right?”

“Is this about the swearing?”

Jeff almost jumped as he turned to see Annie standing there with narrowed eyes.

“You know about that?”

She sighed. “Yes, of course I do. I overhear you guys all the time, you know.”

“Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Because every time you seem to understand that you need to watch what you say. What good would it do for me to point it out?”

Jeff raised his eyebrows and nodded thoughtfully. “Um, thanks?”

She sighed and then stepped forward. She twirled around, stopping with a huge grin. “What do you think?”

He let his eyes skim over her curvy body in her short bright green dress. “Very nice.”

She smiled sweetly and did a half curtsy. “Thank you.”

She then walked over to him and let her eyes move up and down, openly ogling him. “You’re not so bad yourself, with your button down shirt. Very handsome.”

She could have sworn he started to blush, but then he abruptly turned his attention back to the appetizers.

He muttered, “This seems like a pretty elaborate _movie night_. Are we sure we can’t just cancel this thing? I’d rather just hang out with you.”

“Jeff.”

He frowned as he picked up a toothpick. He seemed to be studying it as he remarked, “I know. We need to _out_ ourselves. You know Shirley’s going to freak.”

Annie sighed and rubbed his back. “She might be okay. She’s been much more accepting of our relationship in recent months.”

He continued to regard the toothpick as he mumbled, “That’s because she’s been distracted with her own drama.”

“I don’t think that’s the only reason. She’s told me on many occasions she’s been impressed with the way you look after me and Sophie.”

She attempted to catch his eye as he kept his attention fixed on the toothpick.

He frowned again. “Really? Hmm….”

“Why won’t you look at me?”

He glanced at her with a sly grin. “Because if I look at you too long in that amazing dress I’m not going to be able to control myself.”

She reddened. “Really?”

He tossed the toothpick on the table and nodded. He then turned his wrist and glanced at his watch. “We have about a half hour…”

She stopped her hand mid-swat. “Sophie’s here!”

_“Fee!”_

Jeff let out a long sigh. “Fine.” He gestured toward the appetizers. “Hey, can you finish these up? I’ll go get her ready.”

Annie let her gaze fall to the mish mash of broken toothpicks and crumbled crackers. She nodded. “Sure. I put her outfit in her room.”

“Got it.” 

*************************

Shirley and Britta stood in the doorway to the apartment. Jeff smiled slightly and stepped back to allow them entry.

“Ladies, welcome.”

“Jeffrey! We are so glad you decided to be social and invite us over!”

Shirley grabbed him with her free arm. As Jeff allowed her to pull him into a half-hug, he was suddenly aware she had a sleeping Ben swaddled to her other side.

“Hey Shirley.” He stood back up. “You brought your baby.”

Shirley smiled gleefully. “Well I couldn’t just leave him at home. He needs me right now.”

“Oh yeah, of course. As long as he doesn’t mind sitting through whatever movie Abed insists we watch.”

Shirley patted Ben’s head. “He’ll be fine as long as he’s with me.”

Britta closed the door behind her and smirked up at Jeff. She thrust out a brown bottle-shaped bag. “Hey, Mr. Socialite. I got a rosé for Annie. Put it in the fridge to chill.”

Jeff took the bottle from her and nodded. “Thanks for bringing wine for _Annie_. Nothing for me?”

“Ha ha. You have my presence, isn’t that enough?”

He exaggerated a bow and remarked dryly, “Always.”

He motioned for Britta and Shirley to walk ahead of him into the apartment.

Britta peered around as they entered the living room. “Hey I haven’t been here that sober, but I don’t remember this place looking so _cohesive_. Did you redecorate?”

Shirley shot Britta a questioning look and muttered, “Sober?”

Britta shrugged. “I needed a place to crash once.”

Shirley shook her head. “Now Brit-ta, that’s not very proper. I’m sure An-nie wouldn’t like it if she knew you were coming over to Jeff’s place at _night_.”

Britta stared at her. “Seriously, Shirley? It wasn’t like _that_. The douche-boy can tell you all about it. And actually, Annie was here. She and I even stayed up talking for a little while. So there was nothing scandalous about it.”

Jeff continued to hold the wine bottle and watched the exchange between them with a glint in his eyes.

Shirley cleared her throat. “Well, then. I guess we don’t have to get into why Annie was here…”

Jeff squinted at her and let out a quick laugh. “Oh, Shirley, you never change.” He proceeded to make his way into the kitchen.

He heard Shirley exclaim, “Jeffrey! Brit-ta’s right. You have redecorated. It looks very nice. I can see Annie’s been a good influence on you.”

He opened the fridge and bent down to place the wine on a shelf. He called over his shoulder, “She has.”

As he walked back into the living room, Annie came from the bedroom hallway. She was holding Sophie’s hand as she toddled toward Shirley and Britta.

Sophie was wearing a light blue jumper and matching blue and white striped leggings. She had a tiny blue bow affixed to the side of her head.

Jeff smiled to himself, noting his handiwork.

Annie glanced up as she let go of Sophie’s hand. “Hi guys! It’s so good to see you.”

Britta knelt down and hugged Sophie. “Hi Sophie.”

 _“Hi._ ”

Britta smiled and crawled on her hands and knees after Sophie as she toddled off toward a couple of her toys, which were near the window.

Annie turned to Shirley and hugged her. “Aww…I’m glad you could come and bring Ben. He’s so sweet.” She let her hand softly touch the baby’s head.

“Lord, I was happy to get out of the house! Jordan and Elijah…” Shirley shook her head, “Trust me, it will be nice to have a relaxing evening with all of you. Well, that is unless Pierce…”

Shirley looked at Annie with an expression of concern mixed with agitation.

Annie rushed to reassure her. “I don’t think he’s coming.”

Shirley smiled tightly. “Well, as much as I appreciate what he did for Greendale, I can’t say I’m upset he’s not here. I don’t think I can deal with that man right now. I’m going on very little sleep.”

Annie’s eyes fell over Shirley’s shoulder onto Jeff as he attempted to balance a tray of appetizers with one hand while grabbing a couple wine glasses.

She lightly touched Shirley’s arm. “Excuse me.” She moved forward and said, “Jeff, let me help you with that.”

“Nah. You’re busy. I got this.”

“Jeff!” She leaned over and grabbed the glasses from him. “We can do this together. It’s _our_ party, remember?”

He looked at her sheepishly and placed the tray on the dining table.

Shirley furrowed her brow. “ _Our_ party? But didn’t you invite us, sweetie, on Jeffrey’s behalf?”

Annie placed the glasses on the table and turned to her. “Oh, um, Jeff and I are co-hosting. We’re a _team_.” She looked over at Jeff with a big smile.

He returned it and, catching Shirley’s suspicious look, promptly shuffled back into the kitchen.

Shirley frowned.

There was a knock at the door.

Jeff called out, “I’ll get it.”

As he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of Troy and Abed, both wearing ascots and smiling eerily wide.

Jeff raised his eyebrows. “Hey. It’s not formal.”

Abed glanced at Jeff’s shirt and dress pants. He stated matter-of-factly, “You seem fairly formal. Troy and I were right. It’s a fancy movie night.”

Jeff nodded as he motioned for them to enter. “Weirdos. Welcome.”

Troy handed Jeff a baguette. “We brought fancy bread.”

“Wow. Thanks.”

Troy and Abed pushed their way past him. As Abed entered the living room, he placed a pile of DVDs on the couch. He then looked around the room with an approving and thoughtful nod. Troy did the same.

Abed turned to Jeff. “Nice. Does Annie live here now?”

Jeff and Annie exchanged startled glances. Annie motioned with her eyes for Jeff to say something.

Jeff cleared his throat and then said loud enough for everyone to hear, “Yes, Abed. Annie lives here now.” 

****************************

After the commotion died down, Jeff placed his arm around Annie’s shoulders and addressed the group.

“We’re glad you could come over, as we wanted to tell you all in person.”

Britta smirked as she held Sophie in her arms. “Well, color me surprised.”

Shirley shook her head and patted Ben. “I don’t know about this. I mean I’m aware the two of you have been spending a lot of _time_ together. And I gather Annie and Sophie are here often. I can see why you’d want to give up your apartment, sweetie. That’s no place for you and your baby to live. But outside the bounds of marriage…”

Jeff reached out his hand and made the shushing gesture. “Shirley. We all know how you feel. But this is about me and Annie.”

Shirley pursed her lips and gave a curt nod. She turned and sat down on the couch.

Jeff watched her go and rolled his eyes.

He turned to Troy and Abed and said, “So, dynamic duo, you don’t seem surprised.”

Troy smiled brightly and shrugged. “Well, we kinda figured it out. Abed said it was the next logical step in your relationship. He wouldn’t let me ask Annie to move in with us.”

Britta squinted. “Wait… _us_?”

Troy’s eyes widened and he exchanged a look with Abed, who merely raised his eyebrows slightly and then looked down.

Troy swatted the air. “Oh you know how I’m always saying _us_ , you know when I meant _me._ ”

Jeff found himself blurting out, “Troy! You can’t ask my girlfriend to move in with you. That’s not okay.”

Annie pinched his arm.

Troy rambled on, “Oh, no worries, Jeff. I didn’t mean it that way. I meant not _us_ as in _me_ , I meant as in me and _Pierce_. Yeah, that’s it. Me and Pierce.” He crossed his arms and nodded triumphantly.

Jeff asked with a notable lack of enthusiasm, “Oh pray tell how are things going in Pierce land?”

Troy placed one hand on his hip and shrugged his other hand in the air. His voice began to take on a higher and distressing pitch as he answered, “Not so good, to be honest. He’s all cranky.” He paused and then swatted the air, turning and hunching slightly. “We don’t even have…” he gulped before continuing, “ _s’mores_ anymore.”

Jeff raised one eyebrow. “You guys eat s’mores? Like at home?”

Britta groaned and swung Sophie on her hip. “Can we please not talk about Pierce? I’d much rather talk about these two.” Her eyes went to Jeff and Annie. “So tell me, Annie how did you get the jerk to let you officially share his precious sanctuary?”

Annie smiled up at Jeff, who then stared off at the far wall.

“We just decided we were ready.” She moved her eyes back to Britta and she disentangled herself from Jeff. “Let me show you Sophie’s room! It’s so great!”

“Oh, heck yes, I’m into it.” Britta stuck her tongue out at Jeff and followed a giddy Annie down the hall. Shirley suddenly stood and called out, “Ladies! Wait for me!” She scuttled after them.

Jeff turned back to Troy and Abed, who appeared to be whispering between themselves.

He caught some words, “ _not steal their thunder…_. _not muddle the plot…”_

He cleared his throat.

Suddenly Abed looked up at him. “Okay, now that you’ve made your announcement, we can move on to the movie portion of the evening.” He reached over and grabbed two DVDs. “I’d say we institute a voting system, but honestly I don’t trust any of your tastes. So I say we watch both of these.”

Jeff crossed his arms and sighed. 

*************************

“Isn’t it cute? She loves it!”

Shirley and Britta’s eyes widened in surprise as they entered Sophie’s room.

Britta bent down and let Sophie free. Sophie promptly climbed into her pink chair.

Shirley, despite her earlier orneriness, let a smile creep across her face. She nodded thoughtfully as she scanned the room. “Well, this is nice. Much better than your place above the _marital aids_ store.”

Britta snorted.

Annie exchanged a look with Britta and then nodded politely. “Yes, Shirley. Jeff and I thought it would make more sense for us to move in here rather than have him join us above _Dildopolis_.”

Shirley grimaced. “I didn’t realize Jeffrey’s place was this nice. Of course I’ve never been in this room before.”

Britta appeared to be amused as she sat down on the floor near the bookcase. She turned to look at it more carefully and said softly, “Oh, Annie, this is adorable. She has so many little books. She’s definitely your kid.”

Annie motioned for Shirley to sit down in the rocking chair, which was placed on the other side of Sophie’s toy bin. Shirley smiled sweetly and sat down with Ben.

Annie then turned to Britta. “Thanks. Jeff got her the bookshelf and the chair so she’d feel more comfortable in here. He surprised me. It was so sweet.”

Britta shook her head and laughed. “That goober never ceases to amaze me. He’d never let on to me or probably many other people that he did something like that.”

Annie softly closed the bedroom door and then joined Britta sitting cross-legged on the floor. Sophie promptly left her chair and moved over to her toy bin to grab her bear. She then climbed into Annie’s lap.

Annie smiled brightly as she caressed Sophie’s head. “This was Jeff’s study. He moved out all of his lawyer-stuff and we painted it a more Sophie-like color.”  
  
“Yeah, I don’t think most people would suspect Jeff Winger has a purple room.”

“Like I said, he’s been really sweet.”

Britta watched Annie curiously. “So you guys did it. You moved in. About time.”

Annie began to blush. “Britta…”

“He’s had it bad for you forever. I’m glad you finally put him out of his misery.”

Annie sighed. “We’ve been fine. There was no rush.”

Britta added, “I knew he was totally in love with you last fall. Before that I wasn’t sure if it was only a crush or whatever. Or him being a horny man-dude.”

Annie bit her lip and looked away. “What do you mean?”

Britta nodded sagely. “I knew ever since I ran into him and Sophie in the supermarket that time. I said something about you, and you should have seen his face. He got that weird look he gets when he’s around you now. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever seen that exact expression. I can’t really explain it.”

Annie smiled and looked back at her. “Awwww…. Britta, you know you’re surprisingly observant sometimes. Thanks for telling me that.”

Shirley rocked in the chair and asked, “Well then if you two have said _I love yous_ and have moved in together, why not take the next step?”

Annie groaned, “Shirley, please stop it. I know you mean well, but it’s getting really annoying. It would mean so much to me if you could just support us.”

Britta added, “Yeah, Shirley. Maybe we should ask when you’re re-marrying Andre.”

Shirley tensed as she cradled Ben in her arms. “Well, um, I’ve been very busy, you know. We finally settled the whole _Chang_ situation, thank the Lord. And obviously Andre has moved home, and we are all a family again. I’m sure we will _renew our vows_ at some point after things settle down.”

Britta and Annie exchanged eye rolls.

Britta loudly cleared her throat and turned back to Annie. “So the _man-child_ has now settled down and is helping you with _your child_. Good job.”

Annie nodded emphatically. “He has been really helpful. I’m working for the Dean this summer. It’s only part time, but the daycare center is closed over the break. Originally I was going to try to cobble childcare together between one of the daycare workers who’s watching some of the kids in her home this summer, Nancy, and Jeff.”

She broke out in a grin as she continued, “But then Jeff pointed out that Sophie has been going through too many transitions anyway and it was a waste of my money and kind of a hassle. He suggested he take care of her the whole time I’m at work, starting on Monday.”

Britta and Shirley exchanged surprised looks.  

“Oh, that’s nice!”

“Seriously, Annie? Jeff’s going to be babysitting like 20 hours a week?!?”

Annie shook her head. “He says it’s not babysitting. He’ll be _taking care of her_. And then when I’m off work, he’ll do his consulting stuff. We’re going to trade-off.”

Shirley shook her head but suppressed a smile as she said, “Please tell that boy to call me if he gets in any trouble.”

Britta scrunched up her face as she asked, “And you trust him with her for that long?”

Annie said simply, “Of course. Sophie adores him.”

Britta nodded thoughtfully.   “Again, whatever you’ve done to him, wowza.”

Annie let out a long sigh. “I didn’t _do_ anything to him. He’s always been helpful with Sophie, even before we starting dating.”

Britta shrugged as she began to inspect some of the stuffed animals on top of Sophie’s toy bin. “Huh. And I can’t even take care of hermit crabs.”

Annie’s mouth fell open. “You are not!”

Britta shrugged again. “Chang left them behind at Professor Duncan’s place, and he doesn’t know what to do with them.”

“So you took them home?!?”

Britta shook her head. “Nope. I don’t know how crabs and cats mix. I’ve just been helping.”

Annie held back a smile as she asked, “What else are you doing this summer?”

“I dunno. I was going to do some traveling, but the crabs might need me.”

“I see.”

Britta continued as she grabbed a small green frog from amongst the toys, “I might take a yoga class. And maybe work at another diner or something. I haven’t had much luck keeping a job since I got fired from that one place.”

Shirley sighed. “Brit-ta, I’m sure you will find something. And you’re always welcome to come over and play with my babies.”

“Sure, Shirley. That sounds like a real blast.” 

*****************************

Jeff sat awkwardly in between Abed and Troy on the couch. He moved his eyes to the right to catch Troy’s gleaming eye and then shifted his eyes to the left.

Abed raised one eyebrow.

Jeff cringed. “Will you two please stop studying me? It’s creepy.”

“Aw Jeff, we’re just happy for you and Annie.”

Abed cocked his head to the side and regarded Jeff thoughtfully.   “There are many more plot points that can form from this development.”

“And that means…”

“It means that while some television shows would have ended with you and Annie moving in together, a la happily ever after, I have a sense there is more to tell in your story. And there is spin-off potential with minor characters that half the current audience doesn’t really care about in any romantic sense.”

Jeff stared at him.

Abed continued, “But the ratings would likely be pretty bad.”

Jeff remarked sardonically, “You’re incredible, Abed.”

Abed shrugged. “Maybe. I feel you’re still in need of character growth.”

Jeff began to tap his knee with his index finger. He nodded and bit his lip. “Of course.”

Troy looked at Jeff with concern. “You okay, man?”

Jeff grimaced and then turned to Troy. “Me? Oh, I’m just dandy.”

Abed addressed the back of Jeff’s head, “You seem tense.”

Jeff whipped around to face Abed. “Tense? Really? Why on earth would I be tense?”

Troy said almost in a shriek, “Dude, I don’t know. You’re having a _fancy movie party_. There’s no reason to be tense. Maybe you need a massage.”

Jeff turned to face him. “Yes, Troy, that’s exactly what I need. I need you all to leave my apartment so that Annie and I can be _alone_. And everyone can stop either commenting on how we shouldn’t be living _in sin_ or that I’m still somehow too immature and irresponsible to be in a relationship with the amazing Annie Edison and that I’m clearly not good enough to be a father to Sophie and that I’m going to screw it all up because I haven’t undergone sufficient _character growth_.”

Troy’s mouth flew open.

Abed raised both his eyebrows and tilted his head in front of Jeff so as to make eye contact with Troy.

Jeff scowled. “What the hell is it now?!?”

Abed appeared about to respond when the girls re-entered the living room. Annie was carrying Sophie.

Jeff looked up and felt a sense of relief wash over him. He attempted to push Abed off the couch and motioned for Annie to sit down.

Annie smiled brightly and joined him. Abed began contorting his arms and legs so that he was still on the furniture.

“Do you _mind?_ There’s a chair over there.” Jeff stared at him incredulously.

Abed nodded and got up.

Shirley sank down in a chair with Ben, and Britta pulled up the ottoman and used it as a seat.

Britta looked over at Jeff as she said, “Annie showed us Sophie’s room. Good job, jack….man.”

Jeff answered with an exaggerated smugness, “Well thank you.” He then turned his attentions to Annie and Sophie and said in a low voice, “I can hold her.”

Annie nodded and nudged Sophie, who promptly crawled onto Jeff’s lap.

Jeff placed a kiss on her head and said to Annie, “So, should we do food? We should probably do food.”

Annie did a little bounce and clasped her hands. “Yes! Troy, can you please help me get the appetizers and drinks?”

“Yeah of course, Annie.”

As Annie and Troy made their way into the kitchen, Britta turned her attentions to cooing with Shirley over baby Ben.

Sophie sat on Jeff’s lap and watched them, a smile coming over her face.

 _“Bee bee!_ ” She pointed toward them.

They all laughed as Jeff said softly, “Yes munchkin, that’s a _baby_.   His name is _Ben_.”

Sophie pushed on Jeff and he quickly let her down on the floor. She toddled over to Shirley. Britta scooped her up and held her on her lap so that she could see Ben, who was now awake, more closely.

Jeff watched Sophie’s excited expression as she said, “ _Bee bee Ben. Bee bee Ben is a bee bee.”_

Annie heard her from the doorway and scuttled over to them. She knelt down and said to Shirley, “Aww… She’s never really been around a newborn before. He’s such a cutie pie.”

Sophie looked at Annie and giggled. _“Bee bee.”_

Annie then leaned over and gave Ben a kiss on his forehead.

Jeff watched with a sappy smile.

He then cringed as Sophie suddenly yelled, _“No! FEE mama! Fee mama! No bee bee! Fee bee bee! Fee bee bee!”_ She began to sob hysterically.

Annie sprung up and grabbed Sophie from Britta.

She paled and quickly said, “I’m so sorry. Shhh….” She then scurried out of the room as Sophie continued to wail.

Jeff sat there in shock.

 _Well okay then._

*****************************

In the end, the fancy movie night turned out to be fine. After some reassurance and quiet time with Annie, Sophie eventually calmed down and was able to rejoin them in the living room. Annie held her the rest of the time, as Sophie seemed to be especially clingy.

She allowed Jeff to put her down for bedtime, which Annie noticed he was eager to do. She suspected it was because he really wanted to avoid the group. He had seemed on edge ever since his alone time with Troy and Abed.

After Jeff returned, they all settled in to a viewing of “The Princess Bride.” Abed said he brought it because it was one of Annie’s favorites, and he considered it a fine film and appropriate for baby Ben. Shirley explained Ben was too young to even know what they were watching and was wrapped into her half conscious anyway, but Abed appeared not to agree.

“You’d be surprised what small children notice.”

Shirley held back a giggle. “Very well, Abed. _The Princess Bride_. How nice.”

Annie curled up next to Jeff and sighed. “This is really fun, guys. I’m glad you all came over.”

Jeff rubbed her shoulder and added, “Yeah, thanks.”

Abed had been holding the television remote poised in the air. “Are we done with this part? If we get started right now we can watch another movie.”

Jeff groaned.

Annie giggled and whispered, “Just go with it. He’s part of our family too.”

 


	3. Lessons in Family Dynamics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff gains a better understanding of Adam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pay attention to tags. This is an angsty chapter, dear readers. Please bear with me. There will be more fluffy goodness in upcoming chapters.

Annie entered the apartment and put her keys and an envelope down on the side table. As she kicked off her shoes, she heard Jeff’s voice.

“Where’s your nose?”

There was a pause.

“Very good. Where’s your knee?”

Another pause.

“Right. Where’s your ego?”

Pause.

“Hmm…”

Annie chuckled to herself as she made her way to the living room. As she approached the couch, she caught sight of Jeff and Sophie sitting on the floor surrounded by several stuffed animals.

Sophie’s head whipped away from Jeff toward her.

_“Mama!”_

She squealed with delight and toddled toward Annie.

Jeff watched the embrace and slowly rose, cracking his knees in the process, and sat down on the couch.

Annie joined him and began to exaggerate rocking Sophie on her lap.

Jeff smirked at the display and said, “She’s not a baby, you know.”

Annie smiled and continued to stare at Sophie. “I know. But she loves this. She likes to pretend she’s a baby.”

Jeff nodded in comprehension. “Ahhhh.”

He then leaned over and gave Annie a soft kiss and then pulled back. “How was your meeting?”

Her smiled faded. “It was fine. I’m just happy to be home.”

He eyed her with concern. “Are you okay?”

She shrugged.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He glanced downward at Sophie and added in a lower voice, “Later, I mean?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know what to say. I talked more tonight than I have in awhile. It helped.”

“Is there anything I should be aware of?” Jeff continued to watch Annie’s body language, noticing she appeared to be tense despite her attempts to engage with a smiling Sophie.

She looked back up at him, her eyes widening. “Oh, um. No, nothing like that. I’m good. I just went a little down _memory lane_ tonight. Things I don’t really want to think about.”

“Like…?”

She sighed. “I’m fine. Really. And I got it out. Please don’t worry about me. The best thing you can do for me now is just let me be _here_ with _you_. You and Sophie. I want to enjoy this moment.” She looked back down at Sophie and smiled brightly.

Her voice rose sweetly as she asked, “How’s my little baby Sophie? Mommy missed you sooo much. Mommy loves you.”

Jeff watched as Sophie’s expression morphed from happiness to what he could only describe as pure ecstasy.   He noticed the now familiar warmth radiating through his chest.

“She was good while you were gone. She stacked some things, which let me tell you really helped me out in keeping this place clean…”

Annie laughed and nodded at him.

He continued, “She had a snack and we read some stories to her bear. That seemed to be pretty important to her today.”

Annie grinned. “I’m glad she did okay. She’s been a little more clingy lately.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I suppose that’s because she no longer gets to share a room with you. She’s probably jealous of me.”

Annie’s expression softened and she reached out to lightly touch his arm while continuing to rock Sophie. “I haven’t seen her jealous of _you_. But I agree with the bedroom situation. I think she wants to be back with me.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re talking about last night? Yeah, like that wasn’t obvious…”

“She needs a little time. One night sleeping with us is okay.”

“And tonight?”

“We’ll put her in her room again and see how she does. She’s done it before many times. It’ll be fine.”

He said with a smirk, “I just think the kid’s smart enough to figure out this is a permanent thing. She’s strategizing how to wear us down.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You think I am. But remember, Sophie Edison is a genius.”

Annie grinned again and then looked down at Sophie wistfully. “She is. And she’s our baby.”

Jeff scooted over and placed his arm around Annie’s shoulder. He watched Sophie remain completely relaxed and happy.

It was kind of contagious. 

*********************

Despite their moment of bliss, Jeff had been concerned about Annie over the past week. He noticed she seemed especially preoccupied, even after their successful hosting of movie night.  As it grew closer to the Saturday of Adam’s visit, he began to push the issue of him remaining in the apartment.

Picking a time when Sophie was napping and thus not able to overhear them, he leaned against the kitchen counter. “Annie, I know you keep trying to avoid upsetting me, but you know I should be here.”

She looked down and began picking at the hem of her skirt. “It’ll be so awkward…”

“Of course it will be. But look, we’re all adults. We can get through this. And like I said before, he and I need to get used to each other.”

She bit her lip and looked at him. “Are you sure? Sometimes he can be a jerk.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “I already have that opinion of him.”

“Please don’t fight with him. _Whatever he says_. Please. For Sophie’s sake.”

Jeff sighed. “Annie, of course I’m not going to _fight_ with him. I think he and I should talk, actually you, him, and me. For _Sophie’s sake_.”

Annie nodded.   “You’re right. I guess I’ve been trying to avoid it. But we should talk about you being Sophie’s daddy. He’s going to have a reaction to that, by the way.”

“I hope he does.”

“Jeff.”

“You want him to be more involved, right? Well I’m not standing in his way. I’ll make that clear to him. At the same time, yes, he should know that you and I are raising Sophie together.”

She sighed. “I know. I just wish this whole thing wasn’t such a mess.”

Jeff moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Me too. But I have an idea. Let’s have him come over during Sophie’s naptime. That way the three of us will have a chance to talk.”

“Good idea.”

“Maybe he and I can have a beer or two. _Hell_ I’ll even grill and we’ll make an afternoon of it.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “You will not.”

“I will. He and I can talk privately too. And then he can have his visit with Sophie. I’ll even get out of the way, just to our bedroom mind you, if you want him to have some privacy with her. Whatever. But let’s just get it over with.” 

********************

Jeff watched from the living room as Annie opened the apartment door. He saw Adam break out into a likely nervous smile as he looked down at Annie.

“Hi Annie. It’s good to see you.”

He leaned over and gave her a hug.

Jeff tensed. _What the hell?_

He watched as Annie returned the embrace and said, “I’m so glad you could come over.”

Adam stood back up and smiled tightly. “Yeah, well, you moved.”

“Come in.”

“Oh, I don’t want to forget.” He bent down and picked up a bag from the floor. “I brought a six back of beer, you know, um, since you guys are grilling. And I got Sophie something.”

“That’s sweet. Thank you.”   Annie stepped back and allowed him entry, closing the door behind him.

Adam made his way fully into the living room, Annie trailing him.

Jeff forced himself to take some unobtrusive deep breaths as he locked eyes with Adam.  

_Green. Right._

_Sophie’s eyes are blue like Annie’s._

_Good._

“Hey. Jeff, right?” Adam placed the bag on the coffee table and reached out his hand.

Jeff accepted and shook it firmly. “Right. Good to meet you again.”

After the shake, Adam stuffed both his hands in his pockets. He hunched his shoulders slightly and nodded. “Thanks for being cool about this. Letting me see your place.”

Jeff took a moment to regard the guy fully, realizing that last time their meeting was unexpected and brief. He noted the fashionably distressed jeans, casual t-shirt (likely finely made), and the same black Gucci sneakers. His sunglasses were hooked to his pocket. Jeff relished the fact that he was assuredly four inches taller than the guy, which still made both of them giants compared to Annie.

And the guy’s brown hair was wavy. Jeff felt a pit in his stomach as he realized that was likely to origin of Sophie’s curls. And he was struck again at how much Sophie resembled Adam in the lower half of her face.

He mentally shook himself and refocused on the conversation.

He cleared his throat before he said, “ _Our_ place. Annie and Sophie moved in.”

Adam nodded again. “Right.” He glanced around the living room. “It looks nice.”

Annie came up behind him and walked over to stand next to Jeff. “Isn’t it? Jeff and I redecorated too. You can see Sophie’s room when she wakes up. It’s purple. I think she really likes it.”

Adam smiled slightly and let out a quick laugh. “Oh, I’m _so surprised_ it’s purple, Annie.”

Annie tilted her head to the side and added somberly, “This will be a better environment for her.”

Adam nodded, keeping his hands in his pockets. “For sure. That Dildopolis place was kind of scummy. This is a better part of town.”

Jeff found himself holding back a bunch of questions, basically along the lines of how the guy could even criticize Annie’s living situation when he obviously wasn’t giving her enough funds for her and Sophie to live in a decent neighborhood.   He forced himself to speak next.

He said in a louder and assertive voice, “Let’s all of us sit down, shall we? Sophie’s sleeping. The three of us can talk.” He motioned over to the furniture.

Adam settled down in a chair and Jeff and Annie sat on the couch.

Annie began to fiddle with the hem of her skirt as she said, “I’m really glad we can all talk. It’s important that you two meet under better circumstances.”

Adam said, “Of course, Annie.”

“Obviously Jeff and I are in a serious relationship.”

Adam nodded. “I kinda figured that out.”

Jeff looked at Annie with concern.

She continued, “And we want there to be clear communication between all of us. For Sophie’s sake.”

“Got it.”

Annie sat up straighter and laced her fingers together. “There’s no easy way to say this, but I hope you will understand.”

Adam looked at her curiously.

She continued, “Jeff is with Sophie everyday. She’s used to him, and she’s developed an attachment to him.”

Adam nodded slowly. “I guess that makes sense.”

“And you don’t see her very often. She’s confused about who you are.”

“Annie, look, I don’t know what to do here. We’ve talked about this…”

She raised a hand in the air and interjected, “That’s not the point I’m making. I told you I’m glad you make an effort to see her. And I understand that you don’t really feel comfortable with her right now. What I’m trying to say is that she knows Jeff, and she’s talking more, and well, you should know that she’s started calling him _daddy_.”

Adam’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yes. She just started doing it, and we weren’t really even sure if that’s what she was saying, but as time’s gone on, we’ve confirmed that she thinks Jeff is her father. And I need to say to you that _I also consider Jeff her father_.”

Adam pursed his lips and sat back in the chair. He shot a look over to Jeff. “So what are you guys saying then? I should just leave? You’ve got this whole thing settled?”

Annie bit her lip and let out a long sigh. “That’s not what we’re saying. You are welcome to have a relationship with her. I’ve told you that many times. And I tried to have her call you _daddy,_ but then you didn’t seem to like that and you don’t see her often enough for that to make sense to her. But you’re of course still her biological father.”

“And that means?”

“Whatever we all want it to mean. You can be involved as much as you want to be. And she can call you something else. Or she can call you _dad_ or _papa_ or _Adam_ or I don’t know….”

Adam groaned and closed his eyes. “Christ.”

Jeff took Annie’s hand and let out a breath as he finally said, “Adam, please listen. Annie and I have talked about this. She and I have decided to raise Sophie _together_. But of course Sophie’s still your child. And if you want to be more involved with her, you can. I’m not standing in the way of that. I’ve told Annie this, and I’ll say it to you. Sophie can have _two daddies_. If you want to be a father to her, you can do that.”

Adam opened his eyes and regarded them both with a skeptical expression. “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

Adam leaned forward again and placed his lower arms on his knees and clasped his hands. He looked down for several long beats of silence before resuming eye contact briefly with Annie and then fixing his gaze on Jeff. “That’s very decent of you.”

“Sure.”

Adam glanced at their entwined hands and then looked back at Jeff. “So you mean you’re fine with me continuing visits? Because I would like to.”

“Of course. And you’re legally entitled to that.”

“That’s right. Annie says you’re a lawyer.”

“Yup.”

Adam sat up and turned his attentions to Annie. He said softly, “So he’s her _daddy_ and I’m what?”

Annie felt Jeff squeeze her hand as she responded, “You’re her father. What would you like her to call you?”

Adam nodded thoughtfully and seemed to muse over the issue for several moments. He then shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe _dad_? That would be okay.”

Annie tilted her head to the side. A tremble crept into her voice, “You’d like that?”

He responded breezily, “Yeah. Is that okay with you?”

Annie exchanged alarmed looks with Jeff. He sighed and nodded.

She turned back to Adam. “Um, yes. We can work with her on that, starting today. It might take some time, or she might call you that today but then forget. But the next time you come over, we can do it again.”

“Thanks, Annie.”

Jeff fought an urge to punch the guy in the face. 

*************************

Jeff and Adam stood on the small balcony at the back of the apartment. Jeff had fired up the grill and was doing his best to show off his manly abilities.

Not that he really cared.

Adam smirked as he watched Jeff’s flipping of the burgers. He then plopped down on a deck chair.

Jeff reached over and handed him a beer.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. You brought it.”

“Hope you don’t mind? You drink, right?”

Jeff turned to look at him and frowned in confusion. “Yeah.”

Adam mumbled, “Interesting.”

Jeff continued, “I actually have beer here and was hoping you and I could have a private chat while maybe taking the edge off. But thanks for bringing some.”

Adam nodded and raised his bottle.

Jeff sat down grabbed a beer. He opened it and then clicked his bottle to Adam’s.

“Cheers.”

Adam took a long sip.  Jeff did the same.

They both may have done this a couple more times.

Adam sighed. “Wow. So you and Annie?”

Jeff nodded. “Yup.”

“She says she met you at Greendale. But you’re like a lot older than I would have thought for a student there. And apparently you’re a _lawyer_. So I’m confused…”

Jeff interjected, “I needed to go back to redo some classes. All a misunderstanding.”

Adam squinted at him. “Right. So how old are you anyway? You’ve got to be at least ten years older than her.”

“That’s about right.”

“Oookay. I’m only a few years older than her, you know.”

“I do.”

Adam let out a low laugh and shook his head. “Not that it matters anymore, I guess.”

Jeff cocked his head and regarded him curiously. “I don’t get it. You let Annie go.”

Adam raised his eyebrows and looked at Jeff with amusement. “Oh is that what she told you?”

“Hm?” Jeff felt a sinking pit in his stomach.

_What the hell is he getting at?_

Adam slapped his knee. “Annie’s always been good with stories. You should have seen her tell some real whoppers when we were in the middle of our drug phase. That girl was an impressive machine of lies.”

Jeff tensed.

_There was a time when I would have admired her for that myself._

He gulped, “I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“She told you, right? About everything? The drugs?”

Jeff eyed him with annoyance. “Of course she did. And she told me she has a lot of regrets. I know about the prescription forging and all of that. She’s in a different place now.”

Adam looked at him intently. “I’m glad she’s okay.   I never meant for her to get addicted like that. I mean part of that was out of my hands. She was already hooked on the Adderall by the time we got involved. She was on her way down that path.”

Jeff narrowed his eyes. “So you’re saying it wasn’t your fault.”

Adam shrugged as he took another swig of his beer. “I’ll admit I have some responsibility in it. But by the time I came back to Riverside, she was already popping Adderall like it was candy. Not that I can blame her, with her mom and all. The poor girl needed to cope with all the pressure.”

“The cocaine…”

Adam groaned. “God. I know. Look, I know this sounds crazy, but I honestly thought it would help her. It got me through a lot. Annie and I have more in common than you probably realize.”

“I’m not following how that…”

“I feel really bad about the cocaine. I didn’t think it’d mess her up so much. I guess I didn’t realize I had a problem either.”

Jeff raised his eyebrows. “But you admit it now?”

Adam was silent for some moments as he looked down. He then replied, “After everything that happened with Annie, and then finding out about the baby, God. And my girlfriend dumped me. Yeah. I got myself cleaned up.”

Jeff had to hold back a punch yet again.

Instead he said, “Yet you seemed to insinuate earlier that you’re not the one who ended your relationship with Annie. Color me confused if I don’t see how that adds up with you having a girlfriend and not telling her about it.”

Adam smirked. “Some things don’t need to be hashed over.”

Jeff smiled tightly.

Adam cleared his throat, “Annie’s strong but fragile at the same time, you know?”

“Hm?”

“She told you she overdosed? Because of me?”

Jeff clenched his bottle with both hands. “Yes. Are you saying that wasn’t true?”

Adam shook his head and cringed. “Oh hell no. I feel really crappy about it.   I just had a different understanding of our relationship. In retrospect, I should have been more clear with her.”

“Like telling her you had a girlfriend.”

He shrugged. “There was Kelly. We were getting more serious but I was away, you know? I didn’t really know where it was going. And Annie and I had always had this special connection. I cared about her. And the poor girl had such a crappy home life, you know, with her mom. She needed to escape.”

Jeff found himself becoming perhaps irrationally defensive. He commented, “She’s told me all about her mom.”

Adam let out a long sigh with a hint of a whistle. “Has she? Good. Sorry man, I guess that’s why I was asking about the drinking. I know Annie and I aren’t together any more and you probably think I’m a real jerk, but you have to know I can’t stand by and watch her get involved with an _alcoholic_.”

“Alcoholic?” Jeff stared at him open mouthed.

“You’re not? I guess I assumed she got together with someone in recovery. But I don’t think I’m right about that….” Adam squinted at him.

Jeff broke in, “No, I’m not in _recovery_. I’ve never been addicted to anything.”

“Oh, good.”

Jeff found himself becoming increasingly confused and off-center. He asked, “Wait, are you saying, Annie’s mom is….?”

\-- “An alcoholic? _Hell yes._ So she didn’t tell you that?” His eyes twinkled as he watched Jeff’s reaction.

Jeff stared off in space, feeling rattled. “No. She told me that her mom’s pretty controlling and has mood swings…”

“But she omitted the alcohol part? Interesting.”

“Why is that _interesting_?”

Adam shrugged. “She still doesn’t want to face it, I guess. She’s always had a problem really acknowledging it. But we all knew. Her aunt, my dad, all of us. But no one ever did anything about it. It got worse after Annie’s dad left. But that’s probably also part of the reason he left. He couldn’t take it anymore. That was really hard on Annie, see she…”

Jeff interrupted Adam’s condescending tone, “Yeah, I know. She and I have talked about _that_. Don’t assume just because she didn’t tell me about her mom’s drinking problem that she hasn’t told me _everything else_. From what you’re saying she’s what, in denial about it or something. So that’s why she didn’t tell me. That makes sense. But I think I know Annie pretty well.”

Adam nodded and smirked again. “Sure. Sorry.”

Jeff drank more beer in silence.

Adam sighed wistfully. “Annie’s a good mom.”

“How the hell would you know?”

“Don’t get snippy with me. I’ve seen her with Sophie. I don’t know where she learned it. I certainly don’t seem to have that ability. She just _knows,_ right? And she and I both had such crappy parents. My own mom lives in Florida. I haven’t seen her since I was five.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. And my dad’s always so preoccupied and weird. Annie’s aunt, now, she was good for my dad and she’s really nice. But so fucking enabling. You wouldn’t even believe it.”

“You’re one to talk about _enabling_.”

“Douche.”

Jeff smirked and cracked open two more beers. 

*********************

Soon Annie urged Jeff to see if Sophie was waking up from her nap and take his time getting her ready so that she could talk to Adam alone. Jeff reluctantly agreed and went in the direction of Sophie’s room, leaving Annie and Adam in the kitchen.

Adam leaned against the counter and eyed Annie with amusement.

“So, you’ve really stepped up in the world, I see. Nicer place. An older guy, a _lawyer_ , a nice little happy family for Sophie.”

Annie pursed her lips as she jabbed her index finger into his chest. “Stop it. You’ve been of pretty limited help to me, you know. Life’s been really hard. And Jeff’s a sweetheart. I love him. And he’s really good with Sophie.”

Adam frowned. “No, I get it. So you _love_ him?”

She dropped her hand and nodded. “Yes. And Sophie loves him too.”

He eyed her curiously and let out a long sigh. “Annie, Annie, Annie. Come on. You know I know about that other guy. The hippie? How long did he last? Like a few months?”

She crossed her arms. “His name is Vaughn. And you never _met_ him. You just stalked him in the parking lot. That was really creepy, by the way.”

He laughed and continued on in a teasing tone, “Oh he was most definitely not good enough for you, and you know it. I could tell even just seeing him.”

“Not that it’s any of your businesses, but I fail to see your point. Yes, he and I dated for a few months, but then I ended it. We were going down different life paths. But that has nothing to do with me and Jeff…”

He broke in, “All I’m saying is you seem to flit from one guy to the next.”

She scrunched up her face in frustration. “What the hell is wrong with you?   I haven’t even been with that many guys. Again, not that it’s _any of your business_.”

“So you’re just going to gloss over the fact that you just went from me to that hippie? And I’m guessing by the timeline of things, cause I probably know more than you think I do, cause guess what _Adam’s not a chump_ , you then go from him to your fancy lawyer guy?”

“I didn’t just go from you to Vaughn, there was…”

\-- “What was it, like days? Or were you seeing us both at the same time?”

She grabbed a towel began to twist it. “Oh, I hate you. You know I wouldn’t cheat on anyone, he and I didn’t…”

\-- “So you just sleep with me _twice_ and then tell me we’re done, is that it?”

She stared at him and huffed. “I never promised you anything! And it was a huge _mistake._ We weren’t even back together! You just wanted to get into your father’s good graces so he’d start supporting you again!”

“Like what exactly would be the problem with that? I told you then I’d give you more money. Your life would be better, and Sophie could have a nicer life too.”

“Not if that means being with _you_.”

“Bitch.”

Jeff found himself moving from his eavesdropping place behind the far wall and rushing into the kitchen as he witnessed Adam slam his fist down on the counter and Annie jump. 

**************************

It was several minutes before they were all able to sit down at the dining table. Annie had thrown herself in between Jeff and Adam, pushing Jeff away and urging him to calm down.

Jeff clenched his fists together and needed to practice his deep breathing. It took a few moments before he was convinced that Adam hadn’t actually _hit_ Annie.

But he was still clearly an ass.

Annie had urged them all to remain civil. She clasped her hands on the table and looked back and forth between them.

She cleared her throat before she asked, “Jeff, were you eavesdropping?”

Jeff leaned back and crossed his arms. “I’m glad I did.” He shot a glare at Adam. “You can’t call her a _bitch_ and threaten to hurt her.”

Adam mirrored Jeff’s posture and also crossed his arms. He squinted. “I wouldn’t ever hurt her. Annie, tell him I’ve never hit you.”

“He’s never hit me.”

“Oh really? See, he called you …”

\-- “I’m sorry, okay? I was out of line.”

Annie nodded and pursed her lips. “Thank you. Please refrain from calling me that again.”

Adam nodded and stared off at the far wall.

Annie turned back to Jeff. “I’m fine. We just had a disagreement.” She then eyed him nervously as she added,” I’m not sure how much you heard, but…”

Jeff shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just wondering what we should do about the food. And Sophie. She’ll be up soon if she isn’t already.” He looked over at Adam. “Are you able to behave yourself around her? Or shall we call off this little visit?”

Annie then narrowed her eyes.

Adam exchanged looks with her and sat up straight. “No. Again, I’m sorry. I’d like to see Sophie, please.” 

************************

Jeff eventually carried Sophie into the dining room. Annie noticed she was wearing a bright purple jumper with pink striped leggings.

And one pink sock.

Annie smiled brightly as Jeff handed Sophie to her. He then moved off to the balcony to grab the burgers and peppers from the cooling grill.

He may have kept his eye on the proceedings inside as he scooped the food onto a large plate. As he re-entered the apartment, he spied Adam sitting down at the table with Sophie on his lap.

“Hey there, Sophie. It’s so good to see you.”

 _“Hi._ ”

Jeff gritted his teeth and made sure to do his best to ensure they had a decent lunch. He exchanged glances with Annie throughout, noting she seemed increasingly uncomfortable as the meal continued, her voice rising almost manically whenever Adam interacted with her.

“So what does she eat?”

“Oh, she likes bread. And pancakes. And her cheese crackers. And cheese. And…”

Jeff added dryly as he reached over to wipe Sophie’s chin. “Basically anything white, yellow, or a vague hint of orange.”

Annie laughed a little too loudly. “Yes, she likes eggs! That’s yellow, right? And she likes it when we put cheese on them…”

Adam broke in, “Hey Sophie, who’s your _daddy_?”

Sophie smiled at him and then turned her attention to Jeff. _“Dee Dee!_ ” She pointed and giggled.

Adam nodded. “My name’s _dad_. Can you say _dad_?”

Sophie nodded. _“Da.”_

“Very good.” Adam smiled triumphantly and shot Jeff a smug look. He then resumed eating his burger. 

*************************

After lunch, Annie cleaned up Sophie as Jeff and Adam cleared the table. Jeff made the tactical decision to minimize their interaction during this time. He was filled with conflicting feelings, noting that despite his attempt to _clear things up_ with Adam, he may have inadvertently spurred him on out of a sense of jealousy to become even _more_ involved in Sophie’s life.

But shouldn’t he want that? After all, Adam was her biological father. And he said he was okay with her having two daddies.

He realized maybe he wasn’t that okay with it. Especially now that he was getting more of a sense of what Adam was really like.

_Manipulative, immature grass snake._

God, what had they done?

He pulled himself together and smiled at Sophie when she came into the living room with her kangaroo, Annie trailing her. Sophie ran up to him and kissed his knee.

_“Dee Dee pay.”_

“Hey, munchkin. Why don’t you play with _dad_? He’s visiting.” Jeff gently turned her outward so that she was facing Adam.

“Hey Sophie, what should we do?”

Sophie giggled and then threw Ruthie across the room.

Jeff frowned and said to her, “Please pick up Ruthie and give her to me.”

Sophie opened her mouth wide. _“Uh-oh!”_ She then toddled over and picked up the kangaroo. She made her way back to Jeff and handed him the stuffed toy.

_“Fee thow. Dee Dee pay?”_

Adam watched the interaction with a tense expression on his face. He began to grip the arm of the chair with his right hand.

Jeff sighed and looked over at Annie, who was perched on the arm of the couch.

She shook her head slightly.

Jeff said, “Hey, munchkin, Daddy needs to get some work done. Why don’t you play with _dad_?”

It took every effort in his being to leave the room.  On his way out, he grabbed another beer and then sat outside on the balcony.

  

***************

A little while later, Adam called out a cheery goodbye to Jeff.

Jeff waited a few minutes before he re-entered the apartment. To his relief, the asshole was gone.

Annie stood watching him with concern, her eyes welling with tears.

Sophie was throwing herself on her beanbag and shrieking something about her _baby doll_ and _spaghetti._ Or at least that’s what Jeff assumed she was saying. He was only paying half attention as he locked eyes with Annie.

She said softly, “I am so, so, sorry. That was awful. Please. You did so well. I’m sorry if you felt excluded.”

Jeff walked over to her and pulled her into a hug.

“It’s okay. Why are you crying?”

“I’m not.”

She sniffed.

“Annie, it’s fine.”

She pulled back and looked up at him, the tears now flowing freely down her face.

“No, it’s not. I had no idea he’d actually want her to call him _dad_. I just offered it to him, like you and I discussed. I know it’s a slap in the face to you. But I didn’t know what to do.”

Jeff sighed. “Annie, look. Yeah, it was surprising. But he is her biological father. Legally he has every right to see her. And it’s doesn’t have to be a big deal what she calls him.”

“But it is. You’re her father. You are. Where it counts. I probably should have made that more clear to him.”

“No. That’ll just piss him off. I saw it, Annie. His true colors. That guy is a manipulative asshole. I’ve seen enough of family law cases where some jerk gets it in his head to punish his ex and tries to do all sorts of things. We don’t want Sophie around him alone. Let’s keep the supervised visitation.”

“He doesn’t want unsupervised time with her.”

Jeff shook his head. “I don’t know. I overheard you guys in the kitchen. He wants to get back in with his own father, right? And what better way than to say he’s taking care of Sophie? He might very well play that card if he gets desperate enough. And legally, you’d have to split custody with him 50/50 unless he failed a drug test.”

“50/50? I’d _have_ to?”

“Yup.”

She paled. “Oh God.”

 _“Dee Dee! Fee go get ba!”_ Sophie called out as she ran awkwardly toward her bedroom.

Annie watched her go and then looked back at Jeff with worried eyes. “How much did you overhear earlier?”

Jeff pursed his lips and stared at the ceiling. “Annie. It doesn’t matter.”

She said softly with a trembling voice, “You heard everything. It’s not what it sounded like. We didn’t get back together.”

“I know.”

“You’re mad. See, this is why I didn’t want you guys to be around each other. He says these things…”

Jeff looked back down at her and felt the words tumble out of his mouth, “Annie, he merely said the truth.”

Her eyes widened. “I’m not some _slut_! If you think that, oh my God, I’ll…”

“Jesus, Annie! That’s not what I meant! I just meant, look, you never told me you _slept_ with him again.”

Annie looked down. She said in a hushed tone, “It was a mistake. I feel very ashamed of it.”

“Then why?”

She looked back up at him, more tears falling down her cheeks. “I didn’t know what else to do. He came back into my life. And I thought, you know what? Maybe it’s fate. Maybe he screwed up, I did too. Maybe we deserve each other. Maybe I should try to make it work. For Sophie. For me. And while I didn’t seriously entertain those thoughts for long, it was very easy for me to fall back into things with him.”

Jeff nodded as he pursed his lips and stepped away from her. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I can’t believe you did that. He’s so obviously a terrible person.”

Annie suddenly began nodding her head vigorously. “Great. And now he’s inserted himself into our life. You know that’s exactly what he wanted, right? Of course I know he’s _manipulative_. That’s why I’ve worked hard to get away from him and haven’t taken him up on his _oh-so-sincere_ efforts at reconciliation. But you know what? If you want to see me that way, then _fine_.”  
  
Jeff widened his eyes. “Wait…what?”

She said firmly, “I need to lie down. Can you please play with Sophie for a little bit?”

“Yeah, of course.”

He watched her as she made her way to their bedroom and closed the door. 

************************

It was about an hour later when there was a knock.

Jeff furrowed his brow and told Sophie he’d be right back. He shuffled over to the front door. His eyes fell to the side table, spying Annie’s keys and an unopened envelope. He squinted and noted the return address.

_Paul Edison_

_3809 W. Sunset Ct._

_Alexandria, Virginia_

He raised his eyebrows in alarm but realized he didn’t have time to deal with it right now. He opened the door.

“Well Jeffrey, you’ve done it now. How could you hurt my favorite?”

“Pierce?!?”

 


	4. Debriefing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie and Jeff get a little help from their friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for putting up with the angst in the previous chapter, dear readers. ☺

Jeff had to admit Pierce was the last person he expected to see when he opened the door.

“Aren’t you going to let me in? Just because I left the study group doesn’t mean you need to be rude.”

Jeff gulped and allowed him to enter. He closed the door and the two faced each other.

“I didn’t hurt her,” Jeff said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Pierce smiled with closed lips and gave a nod. “That’s not what I think. Annie called me, and I could tell she had been crying. She asked if I could watch Sophie.”

Jeff stared at him incredulously. “Oh like hell she did.”

At that moment Sophie toddled up to them and shrieked, _“Gampa Peas!”_

Pierce started to kneel down but then winced. He looked at Jeff helplessly.

_“Gampa Peas pay! Mama seep. Dee Dee Fee bah pay wid Fee!”_

Jeff rolled his eyes as he picked up a still-chattering Sophie. He turned to see Pierce reach for her with a huge smile on his face.

Pierce was waving his hands for her while nodding his head. “Come to Grandpa Pierce. Yes, yes.”

Sophie began to lean toward him with loud squeals of excitement.

Jeff rolled his eyes and motioned for Pierce to follow him. “Let’s _sit down_ before I hand her over to you.” He gave Sophie a kiss and gently held her into his shoulder.

Pierce nodded and happily agreed to sit on the couch. Jeff then carefully placed Sophie on his lap, making sure to remain next to him.

Pierce squeezed Sophie for a moment and accepted her bear from her. “Why, it’s mister bear.”

_“Bah kith Gampa Peas.”_ She began to push the bear’s head toward his face.

Jeff watched the display but refused to let himself be touched by it. _It was Pierce_.

Instead, he groaned. “Why are you _really_ here?”

Suddenly there was a rustling at the front door.

Followed by the creak of it flying open.

As an alarmed Jeff began to rise, Troy came bounding into the room.

“Jeff! Jeff! Pierce is….” Troy’s eyes narrowed as he spied Pierce, who was sitting with a smug look on his face.

_“Doy!”_

Troy gave Sophie a quick smile and then returned his attention to Pierce, shaking his head in frustration. “Damn! For an old guy you sure are _fast_. Especially when you shove a piece of wood under the front door to the building. Do you _know_ how humiliating it was to have to explain the situation to Jeff’s neighbor?!? Sweet little Alice and I are _not that close_. But now I have to visit her next Sunday.”

Troy proceeded to bite his knuckle and let out a whimper.

Jeff stared at him with part wonder and irritation. “Troy! What the _hell_?!?”

“Oh, sorry Jeff. I forgot you were here.”

Jeff squinted at him and looked back and forth between him and Pierce. He noticed the two of them appeared to be engaged in some sort of nonverbal duel with their eyes.

“Oh for Christ sake. Will someone _please_ tell me what’s going on?”

Troy crossed his arms over his chest and nodded decisively. “This old dude came here to beat you up.”

Jeff remarked dryly, “Yeah, I can _totally_ see that.”

Pierce coughed and then said in a sickeningly sweet tone, “Now gentlemen, let’s be mindful of the fact that Princess Sophie is sitting right here with her Grandpa Pierce. We don’t need to get into who was going to beat up _whom_.”

Jeff scrunched up his face and turned to him. “Seriously? Why would you possibly…”

Troy interjected, “Annie called me. And since I don’t get cell reception in the mansion for some weird reason, she had to call the landline…”

Pierce coughed and interjected, “House phone.”

Troy continued, “And he listened in on the call. And then he got it in his head to come over here and teach you a lesson.”

Pierce muttered something and then turned his attentions back to Sophie.

Jeff pursed his lips. “What _lesson_? I didn’t do anything to her. Yes, she may be upset, but I think on some level she knows she’s not mad at _me_. Her jerk of an ex came by here a little while ago and rattled her.”

Troy nodded and fell down in a chair. “That’s why she called. She wanted to talk something out with me since I know the guy. Pierce,” Troy glared over at him,

“Because he can’t _hear,”_

He then turned back to Jeff,

“Misunderstood what she was saying. And then he _followed me_ over here.”

Pierce opened his mouth slightly. “Oh.”

Jeff squinted at Pierce. “Just because you hate me doesn’t mean I hurt her.”

Pierce moved Sophie’s sticky hand away from his mouth and pulled out a moist towelette from his pocket. He proceeded to wipe her hands as he said, “Fine. I may have jumped to a conclusion. But Annie sounded upset. And she kept saying _him_.”

Troy threw his hands in the air. “Dude! You have to stop listening to my phone calls! Especially after you _ignore me_ for weeks! You can’t just toy with me like that! I have _feelings_!”

Jeff rolled his eyes as he heard the beginning of a sob.

“Troy!”

“Sorry man.”

Jeff cleared his throat. “So Annie asked you, _Troy,_ to come over here?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“She wanted me to watch Sophie so she could talk to you.”

Jeff shot a guilty glance over at Sophie who was sitting on Pierce’s lap clutching her bear and watching him with a worried look. He sighed and motioned to Pierce, who surprisingly readily handed her over.

“Hey munchkin, it’s okay.” He placed a kiss on her cheek. “Everything’s fine.”

_“Mama seep.”_

“Yes, Mommy’s resting.”

“No, I’m not.”

All of them looked up to see Annie standing in the doorway. She was clasping her hands and looking at Jeff expectantly. 

************************

After some awkward explanations about the Pierce situation, Jeff and Annie left Sophie in the care of Troy (and Pierce?) and took a walk.

As they made their way out of the building, Jeff asked, “Why Troy?”

She looked up at him and smiled slightly, “I needed to talk to someone who gets it. I started to get all confused. And then I thought, maybe he could just come over and watch her.”

Jeff nodded and took her hand. They proceed to walk.

“I always forget that Troy knows him. Was Adam his assistant teacher, too?”

“Yup. We were in the same English class.”

“I gather Troy doesn’t have a high opinion of him.”

Annie sighed. “Definitely not. We’ve talked a lot about it, actually. Troy has this misguided sense that he should have protected me. But we weren’t even _friends_ in high school. And he didn’t know for sure that Adam and I were involved.”

“He suspected?”

She shrugged. “Many people suspected. Of course I’m sure most of them just thought it was a silly rumor. I wasn’t that popular. I was way too much of a goody-goody to be any _fun.”_

She let out a bitter laugh.

“What did Troy think of him back then?”

She sighed again. “He says he always thought Adam was cocky and gave me way too much attention. But again, that’s him probably rewriting history. He knows so much now he can’t separate it out.”

“Well I don’t think Adam gives off a very good impression.”

She rolled her eyes. “ _Duh_. But again, that’s because he’s jealous of you. Believe it or not, he can be really Charming.”

Jeff nodded and kept his focus where they were walking as they made their way down the street toward the park. “ _Charming_. That’s an interesting word.   I will say he’s quick on his feet.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think he sized me up pretty rapidly. I’ve been thinking through everything he said to me. He knew exactly what buttons to push. And the next time we’re around each other, he’s probably going to try to find out more about me so he can get in there even deeper. You know, stick the knife in and give it a good turn.”

Annie stopped and looked up at him. “What exactly did he say to you?”

Jeff groaned as he looked up at the sky. “It doesn’t matter in the least. Suffice it to say, he tried to play on any doubts I might have about us. And he might have heavily implied that you were lying to me about several things.”

Annie pursed her lips and closed her eyes. “Damn it.” She then tilted her head back up and looked at Jeff. He returned her gaze.

She gripped both of his hands and said emphatically, “I _am_ honest with you. Overall, I mean. Yes, I didn’t tell you that he and I _got together_ a couple times after he first met Sophie last year, but I wanted to forget about it. I knew it was a mistake.”

Jeff scoffed. “It’s okay. You don’t owe me an explanation. We weren’t together. And God, I’m the last person to judge something like that. I’m sorry if you thought I was earlier. I was just surprised.”

She nodded and frowned. “Thank you for saying that. I need you to know that, _despite what he may have implied_ , I didn’t cheat on Vaughn.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

She shook her head. “ _Yes it does_. If you even think I did something like that, then you’ll always wonder if I’d do the same to you. And he wants you to doubt me.”

He squeezed her hands and let out quick laugh. “Don’t worry. I don’t believe him.”

Annie squinted at him and then shook her head again. “You think you’re smarter than him. But he’s really, really good at this kind of stuff. If I hadn’t made almost heroic efforts to keep him away from Vaughn, he would have driven a wedge between us as well.”

Jeff grimaced. “All the more reason for us to keep an eye on him when he sees Sophie. He could really hurt her.”

“I don’t think he would do that,” she said softly as she looked up at him with a sad smile.

“I meant emotionally.”

“I know what you meant. He wouldn’t. He doesn’t see her long enough to do that.”

Jeff cringed. “See? That’s what I’m talking about. You and I both know neglect is also a form of abuse. And that coupled with _head games_ , of which I am certain he is an _expert_ , well, that could be really, really bad. I’m not letting Sophie go through that.”

He looked at her intently with raised eyebrows, waiting for her reaction.

She nodded thoughtfully and was silent for some moments. She then shook her head and said, “But if you’re there all the time when he visits, he’s going to amp it up. It’ll just make everything worse.”

Jeff gave her hands another squeeze. “No. He and I are going to come to an understanding.”

Her voice cracked as she asked, “But what if he does what you’re worried about and tries to get partial custody?”

Jeff paused and then proceeded to answer her with a swagger, “Hell, I used to be pretty darn devious. Many people would still say I am. I’m not above playing dirty. I’ll fake a positive drug test for him if I have to.”

She narrowed her eyes and swatted him. “Stop it!”

He grabbed her outstretched hand and gently interlaced his fingers with hers.

He said steadily, “I will. Anything to stop him from getting his hands on her. We’re not there yet, and hopefully we won’t be, but seriously, Annie. Let me use my evil skills for _good_ just this once.” 

***********************

As they sat on the park bench, Annie leaned into his chest and he wrapped an arm around her.

She kissed his chest and said, “I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.”

Jeff sighed. “It’s fine. I’m starting to get an idea of what kind of crap you’ve had to put up with. I’m actually a little baffled at how you’re able to trust me at all after dealing with a creep like that.”

“That’s easy. You’re nothing like him.”

“Thanks, but still, it’s a risk. No wonder you were so hesitant to move in with me.”

She cranked her neck slightly and smiled softly. “You are _nothing like him_. But I guess you’re right. Sometimes my immediate reaction is to protect myself.”

“You must have to do that when you’re around him.”

She sighed wearily. “Sometimes he’s not that bad. I know that sounds weird, but he can be okay when he visits. He usually doesn’t stay that long anyway.”

Jeff raised one eyebrow and asked, “So he hasn’t been trying to get you back lately?”

“No. He got the picture a while ago. He knows there’s no chance.”

Jeff nodded and began brushing her hair with his fingertips. “Good. We’ll just see what happens next. Hopefully I won’t have to engage _Operation Winger_.”

She lightly punched him in the side.

He let out a chuckle.

They were quiet for a little while, both lost in their thoughts.

Jeff became aware of vibrations in his chest, suddenly realizing Annie was humming to herself against him. He continued to brush her hair.

Finally, he broke the silence. “I think I know another reason you were upset. I saw the letter from your dad, at least that’s who I assume it was from. You left it near your keys.”

He could feel her catch her breath. She pushed away and sat up to face him.

“He sends me money.”

“You’ve told me that before. But this envelope wasn’t opened. And it looked thick, like it wasn’t just holding a check.”

Annie nodded slowly. “He wrote back.”

“Hm?”

She wiped a tear forming at the corner of her eye as she explained, “I’ve been afraid to open it. I got it a few days ago.”

“Afraid?”

“He doesn’t usually write much, if at all. Sometimes I’ll get a vague note with the check. I don’t really know what’s going on in his life. And I always send him a thank you.”

“So…”

“So, he wrote me a stern letter a couple years ago after my mom told him about the overdose. She must have made it sound like I was on the path to ruin or something, and of course she didn’t tell him it was intentional. He was pretty disappointed in me.”

Jeff nodded. “Right. And that’s why you said you didn’t tell him about Sophie.”

She grimaced. “I didn’t want him to think I was trying to get more money out of him. I didn’t want to lose the only weak connection to him that I have. And I didn’t want him to think I was a complete loser.”

“Annie…”

She let out a breath. “But I finally told him.”

Jeff’s eyes popped open. “Wait…what?!?”

She nodded emphatically. “I had to let him know I was moving again, to give him the new address. I wrote I was moving in with you, my boyfriend. And then I thought, why not just be completely honest? I think I’ve convinced him with my updates that I’m not a druggie anymore.” She gulped before she added, “So I sent him some pictures of Sophie.”

Jeff’s eyes widened further. “Oh my god.”

She shrugged nonchalantly but her voice cracked as she added, “I thought it was time he knew he has a granddaughter.”

He eyed her intently as he asked, “Are you okay?”

She looked off toward the park and shook her head. “I don’t know. I wrote a little bit about her. I told him I wasn’t looking for anything from him, that I just wanted to be honest. I told him my mom doesn’t know, that she thought I had an abortion. I asked him not to tell her, but of course I don’t know if he has.”

“God, Annie.”

She turned back to face him and continued, “And I told him about Adam and me. He knows him, or well, knew him. And well, I really didn’t expect him to write back. But he obviously did. I’ve never gotten that thick of an envelope from him before.”

He stared at her, noticing the tears forming in her eyes. He felt a pang in his chest and an urge to reassure her. “Look, that’s good, right? He wrote back. I’m sure he fell in love with Sophie’s pictures.”

She shot a glare at him. “I have no idea. Please don’t get my hopes up.”

“Sorry.”

“He left me when I was _twelve_. And Anthony was _seven._ What kind of a person does that?”

Jeff sighed. “He definitely made a mistake there. But you said you two had a good relationship before that, right? He just couldn’t handle your mom’s drinking. He shouldn’t have left completely, but look…”

She interjected with a look of incredulity, “My mom’s _drinking_?!? Where did you get that from?”

He took a deep breath and replied, “Adam told me. He thought I knew.”

Annie was silent for some moments and then rolled her eyes. “See this is exactly what I’m talking about. He just made that up!”

Jeff squinted. “Why would he make up something like that?”

She pursed her lips and then began nodding vigorously. “So that we fight about it. He wants you to think that I hide things from you.”

“Annie, if you’re sensitive about your mom and alcohol, that’s understandable. It doesn’t mean you’re _hiding_ anything from me. He said everyone’s been in denial about it anyway, but that it’s evident your mom’s an alcoholic.”

Annie stared at him, her mouth falling open. “That’s ridiculous! He’s _lying_!” She scrunched up her face in disgust. “Ooooohhh…I’d call him right now and chew him out but then he’d know he succeeded, and I’m not giving him that satisfaction.”

“Wait…so you’re _sure_ your mom isn’t…”

“Jeff! Please don’t listen to him. My mom has many flaws, but overindulging in alcohol is definitely not one of them.” 

****************************

Jeff allowed himself several minutes to come down from the additional head game he had allowed Adam to play on him.   He and Annie sat quietly for a little while before deciding to go back home.

During the walk, Jeff made up his mind about a few things, but he decided to keep his mouth shut for the time being, not wanting to upset Annie further.

They took a moment for a kiss outside the door. Jeff mumbled into her neck, “Let’s do a date night _soon_. You and me. Babysitter.”

She fluttered her eyelashes and broke out in a grin. “That sounds nice.”

She rose on her tiptoes and proceeded to pull him back down to her.

The _kiss_ may have led to more of a _make-out_ , but they both needed it after such a hellish day.

 

x

 

x

 

x

 

Eventually they re-entered the apartment.

Jeff watched as Annie embraced Sophie and then sat chatting with Pierce on the couch.

After an unexpectedly warm hug, Pierce sat back and explained calmly to Annie, “I was going to do a three month Soul Rezoning Retreat at the Laser Lotus Center, but I think I’ll stick around Greendale this summer. Um, just in case you and Princess Sophie need me.”

“Awww, Pierce, that’s sweet.”

“Especially now that I find out you and Jeffrey are living together. You know dear, if things don’t work out, you and Sophie always have a place in my mansion. You can have the room next to Troy.”

Jeff shook his head and motioned for Troy to follow him out on the balcony.

As they left the living room, Jeff heard Annie say, “I’ll have you know Jeff is very good to me and Sophie. I think living together will work out just fine. But thank you for your offer. Maybe Sophie and I can visit you instead.”

Jeff smirked.

“Hey man, sorry about busting in here earlier, but I thought he was going to do something _not good_.” Troy slunk down into a deck chair.

Jeff joined him and handed him a beer he had procured from the kitchen in anticipation of this moment. He figured Troy wouldn’t be too picky about drinking lukewarm beer. He watched as he eagerly opened the bottle and tossed the cap.

They clinked their beverages together.

Jeff sighed. “You’re much better company than Adam was. We sat out here earlier just like this.”

Troy suddenly hunched forward with a strange look on his face, almost as if he had seen a ghost. “Doesn’t that guy just give you the shivers? Like I feel it up and down my spine, man.”

Jeff nodded as he watched Troy’s face transform into a scowl.

He replied, “Something like that. Annie says you don’t like him.”

Troy began stabbing at the air with his index finger. “He hurt our Annie. No one gets away with that.”

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “To quote the scumbag, _‘interesting_.’ Tell me more, Troy.”

He turned to look at Jeff and took another swig of beer. “We need to get him out of Annie’s life. But I just haven’t figured out _how_.”

“You seem to have a strong opinion in this matter.”

Troy chuckled nervously as he leaned back in the chair. He looked up at the darkening sky and then back at Jeff. He said in a low voice, “The guy threatened me. He saw me in the parking lot of Dildopolis last year and told me to stay away from Annie. He remembered me from Riverside High.”

Jeff pursed his lips and shook his head.

Troy continued, “He seemed to think I was messing around with her. And I don’t know, for some strange reason I felt I needed to reassure him I wasn’t. Like I had to actually get all weak and bow to him or his stupid ego couldn’t even handle it. But it’s none of his business who Annie dates, right? I didn’t even remember that until I left.”

Jeff stared thoughtfully at the sky. He cleared his throat and asked, “So how did you leave things? Are you guys enemies or could you approach him?”

Troy seemed to ponder this for a moment and then looked at Jeff curiously. “We left things okay. He believed me. But then he did something really weird.”

Jeff’s eyes shot back down. “Weird?”

“Yeah, he told me he’d help me out. Like, if I needed a letter of recommendation or something. He said he was really impressed with my writing in high school. That he thought maybe I could do something with it. That he’d help me with school advice and stuff.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Of course he did.”

“Huh?”

“Let me guess, you left it all nice and then went home and wanted to stab your eyes out?”

“Dude. You’re wrinkling my brain. How did you know?”

Jeff sipped his beer and began to slowly nod. He then placed the bottle on the table as he turned to face Troy. “I cannot emphasize enough that we keep the following conversation to ourselves. I have an idea.”

Troy’s puzzled expression began to morph into a grin. “Of course!”

Jeff kept his eyes steadily on Troy’s as he said leaned forward and said in a firm voice, “I know you’re not the best at keeping secrets. But this time it’s really important. I don’t want Annie to be upset in case it doesn’t work.”

“Sure.” He leaned in so his face was closer to Jeff’s.

“This means you can’t tell Abed.”

Troy suddenly sat back and gasped. “Dude! You can’t ask me to do that! He’s my soul mate. And he’ll _know_. He figured out that last secret you made me keep. It almost destroyed our intimacy.”

Jeff groaned as he rubbed his hand over his scruff. “Do you think he can keep his mouth shut?”

“What do you think? Of course he can. He’s Abed. That guy is full of secrets. If we just tell him it’s really important, like it’s a matter of security or something, he won’t tell anyone.”

Jeff nodded. “Hmm…. Like a _sting operation_?”

Troy grinned. “Yeah. He’d love it!”

“Cool cool cool.”

At that moment, Jeff caught a glimpse of Sophie’s face plastered to the glass. He smiled and rose to open the door.   She came toddling onto the balcony.

_“Ooooh! Dee Dee und Doy ippy cups.”_ She gestured toward the beer bottles on the table.

Jeff laughed. “Yes, hobster, those are grownup sippy cups.” He looked down to see she was clutching hers.

They watched in amusement as she tilted her head back and took a giant swig from her cup, appearing to chug the water down with gusto. She then brought her head forward and let out a satisfied sigh.

Followed by a surprisingly loud belch for someone her size.

Jeff felt a yank at his chest. His mind flashed to the time when they needed to take her to urgent care, the night when she was seriously ill and helpless. The night Adam was not there for her.

The night that likely wouldn’t even register to Adam as something important even if Annie did tell him about it.

He knelt down and quickly grabbed her into a hug. He mumbled into her cheek, “Oooh you are so cute, munchkin.”

Sophie giggled.

_“Dee Dee hug Fee.”_

Troy smiled and said, “Sophie only needs one daddy.”


	5. Alternate Methods of Stress Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Britta does Annie and Jeff a favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: FLUFF ALERT

“What’s Daddy’s name?” Annie asked in a lilting voice.

_“Dee Dee.”_

Annie nodded and asked patiently, “What’s his other name?”

_“Deeff.”_

Jeff chuckled as he rolled onto his side to face Sophie.

Annie grinned at him from her side of the bed. Sophie sat in between them, still in her lightweight purple pajamas from the night before.

“I told you she knows your name! _And that you’re Daddy_! It’s that amazing?!?” Annie clapped her hands in excitement.

Jeff held her gaze for a moment.

She watched him attempt a blasé expression, but the blushing was a little bit of a giveaway.

Jeff cleared his throat and said, “Cute. This doesn’t make up for the fact that she’s taking over our bed. I told you, she’s an evil genius.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “I don’t know about the _evil_ part, but yes, she’s catching on to things.”

Sophie smacked Jeff on the nose.

He smirked as he smiled just a little bit. He asked her, “What’s Mommy’s name?”

_“Mama.”_

He nodded.

“What’s her other name?”

_“Ahnee.”_

He gave her a kiss on the forehead as she scooted next to him and turned to face him on her side.

_She really has strange baby breath._

She proceeded to grab at his nose.

Annie caught his eyes and noticed they were twinkling. She said, “You love this.”

Keeping his eyes on Sophie, he replied dryly, “Maybe.”

Annie scrunched down on the bed and moved to her side. She reached her arm over Sophie, placing her hand on Jeff’s elbow. “I knew it. You’re not really a Grinch.”

She thought she caught a quick laugh from him.  

He grabbed her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. “But we could use a little _alone time_ at some point.”

She smiled and said softly, “We can try again tonight.”

_“Gee Gee und Gampa Peas Deefay.”_

Jeff raised his eyebrows. “Did she just say my mom and Pierce call me _Jeffrey_?”

Annie widened her eyes. “Oh my god.”

“I told you. Genius.”

_“Und Dunk.”_  

************************

“So are you going to call him?” Jeff perched himself on the arm of the couch and regarded Annie with concern.

She looked up from her magazine and let out a breath. “Not yet. I need to work up the nerve.”

“Must be strange. Knowing he wants to talk to you after all this time. “

“That’s putting it mildly.” She smiled tightly.

Jeff nodded absentmindedly as he looked off toward the framed picture of Annie with her brother. He wondered if her father bore any resemblance to Anthony or if he looked more like Annie.

“I’m glad he left the phone call part up to you and didn’t just catch you off guard.”

She sighed. “Me too. He gave me his email, too, which I didn’t have before. I think I’ll write him and we can coordinate a time. Maybe then we’ll both be ready.”

Jeff moved from his spot and sat down next to her. He looked at her intently as he said, “It’ll be okay. He wants to talk. You said his letter was decent, and he sent those pictures.”

She continued to smile tightly. “You mean of him and my apparent _stepmother_? I didn’t even know he had remarried. I guess since I’m being honest he’s trying to as well.”

Jeff nodded. “It’s a start. And he wasn’t upset about Sophie.”

She mumbled, “No, his letter actually sounded concerned.”

Several beats of silence followed. Jeff noticed Annie had begun examining the edges of the purple afghan wrapped around her legs.

He finally broke in, “So when do you think you’ll do it?”

She let out a long sigh as she continued to regard the blanket. “Not right now. I can’t talk to him with the pressures of Father’s Day coming up. It’ll be too strange.”

“Right.”

She continued, “I have to get through that issue with Adam anyway, and I’m not looking forward to it.” She paused and bit her lip as she looked up at him. “And I’d much rather concentrate on creating a good first Father’s Day for you and Sophie.”

Jeff’s eyes widened. “Oh, um. I didn’t even think about it.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You didn’t?”

He shrugged. “Nope. It’s not a holiday I celebrate, obviously.” He continued in almost a mumble as he averted his gaze, “And I don’t even know what you and Adam did last year.”

She narrowed her eyes. “I did notice you seemed to disappear for a week or so in June.”

He shrugged again and winced. “Sorry. I don’t like to be around people that time of year.”

She opened her eyes wider and took his hands in hers. She asked sweetly, “But this year you will, right? Sophie’s your daughter now. Let her be with you.”

Jeff felt his breath catch.

_Daughter?_

He asked in a low voice, “Daughter?”

“Well yes.” She watched him curiously.

He stared off toward the wall.

Several beats of silence followed. Annie watched as Jeff’s chest appeared to jerk once and then return to normal.

“Jeff, are you okay?”

He nodded slowly. “I haven’t heard you use that word before.”

She clarified in a hushed tone, “You mean, _daughter_?”

He gulped and then widened his eyes. “Yeah. I guess. She’s my _daughter_.”

Annie squeezed his hands. “She is. And she loves you.”

She may have needed to kiss a tear on his cheek. 

**************************

Jeff walked into the apartment and threw down his keys. He proceeded to take off his dress shoes and place his suit jacket over one of the counter stools.

He called out with a smirk, “Honey, I’m home.”

“Jag-off.”

His eyes widened as he turned the corner to see Britta with her feet and hands on the floor and butt in the air. He glanced around, not seeing Sophie or Annie anywhere.

“My Annie, you’ve changed.”

“Bite me.”

He chuckled and plopped down in a chair. He then leaned back with a swagger. “What are you doing?”

Britta mumbled, “It’s called downward dog.” She proceeded to walk her hands away from her feet until she entirely collapsed on her stomach.

“Oooughhh!”

“That looks like fun.”

“God.”

“Can you get back up?”

She mumbled into the carpet, “Of course I can. Jerkwad.”

Jeff nodded to himself and sighed. “Where’s Annie?”

Britta groaned and rolled onto her back so that she was staring at the ceiling. “She’s changing Sophie.”

“Ah. And you’re here because?”

“I can visit my friend. Just because she lives with you now doesn’t mean I’m not going to hang out with her.”

He rolled his eyes. “Geez, Britta. I was merely surprised to see you. _Of course_ you can come over here.”

There was a huff.

“Well, um, okay.”

“Do you need help getting up?”

“No. I’m just stretching out my spine,” she replied with an edge in her voice.

“Ooookay.” He placed his hand near his mouth in an attempt to stifle his laughter. “And why were you _downward dogging it_?”

The reply was quick and sharp.

“Shut up, ass. I was practicing my yoga. I was teaching Sophie earlier too.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Sophie’s doing _yoga_?”

Britta answered matter-of-factly, “Sure. They recommend it for little kids.”

Jeff continued to regard her side profile with bemusement. “Are you taking a yoga class with _toddlers_?”

She answered him while continuing to remain still, “No, pigface. But a woman in my class teaches preschool and says they’ve been doing it with the kids to help them calm down. So I thought since Sophie’s almost two, you know, maybe this way her twos won’t be so _terrible.”_

Jeff found himself unexpectedly touched by Britta’s thoughtfulness. He had to admit to himself that sometimes she could be very kind with Sophie and Annie.

He didn’t voice this of course but instead cleared his throat and then said, “I still don’t think you can get up.”

Britta immediately began humming to herself.

He added, “I’m going to leave you there.   Annie and I are going out tonight, and we’ll just let you stay there. What would you like for breakfast tomorrow?”

“Jackwadpigface.”

He snorted. “It has to be something liquid form so Sophie can pour it on you.”

“Jerkedyjerkdumbguy.”

“I’ll see if we have that in the fridge.”

At that moment, Annie entered holding Sophie, who was dressed in her latest Greendale sweats. The pants were rolled up slightly, as the Dean had gotten her a size larger than what she needed.

Annie smiled brightly when she spied Jeff. “Oh, hey, I didn’t hear you come home.”

He smirked. “I would have come to you guys but Britta and I were catching up.”

He rose and gave Sophie a quick kiss on the forehead. Annie then bent down and let Sophie toddle toward Britta.

Jeff took the next moment to give Annie a proper kiss. Well, not too _proper_ , as he was conscious of the fact that Britta, although immobilized, was still in the room.

So he went for more of a soft and tender kiss with a hint of tongue.

Annie blushed furiously as he pulled away.

_“Tit ta, tee!”_ Sophie attempted to stand on one leg next to Britta.

Jeff’s eyes widened as he saw her begin to slowly fall over. He lurched forward and caught her. He remarked dryly, “This is _calming_? For whom?”

Annie placed a hand near her mouth and laughed. “You should see her try _airplane_.”

He righted Sophie and knelt down to look at her, making sure she was stable on both legs. He remarked to Annie sardonically, “I don’t know what that is, but I’m sure it’s thrilling.”

“It is. Britta’s a really good teacher.”

Britta raised a fist in the air triumphantly. “Take that dumb boy!”

Jeff rolled his eyes and let Sophie move away from his grasp. She went over to Britta and laid down next to her, thereby mimicking her ‘pose.’

Jeff got back up and proceeded to grab his suit jacket off the counter barstool. “ _Anyway,_ I should hang this up.”

Annie suddenly clasped her hands together and bounced to face him. “Oh! Holly had her baby this morning! Your mom called to tell me like an hour ago.”

Jeff shook out his jacket and said absentmindedly, “Oh, wow. Everything okay?”

Annie nodded with a grin. “Yes. Your mom texted me a sweet picture. He’s sooooo cute! They named him Braden.”

He stiffened and then raised his eyebrows as he turned to look at her. “It’s a _boy_?”

She continued smiling and added excitedly, “Yes. And he has just a little bit of hair. You can’t tell what color his eyes are yet, but he has an adorable little nose, and Holly’s doing well. She’s tired, but…”

Jeff interjected, “So you’re not giving her the baby clothes?”

Annie stopped and looked at him with confusion. “Um, probably not. She still has a lot of Sam’s old clothes, so I don’t think she needs the neutrals. And most of Sophie’s are pink. Of course little boys should be able to wear pink. I’ll ask her if she wants any of them. But she probably won’t.”

She paused to study Jeff’s face, finding she was unable to read his expression. “Wait, why would you even think about that?”

He scoffed and then shrugged. “I don’t know. I just remembered you talking about giving them to her.” He cleared his throat before he continued, “So hey, why don’t I just put them high up in the closet like we talked about? Otherwise the hobmonster’s gonna find them and decide her baby doll needs a whole new wardrobe.”

Annie relaxed slightly and laughed as she touched him lightly on the shoulder. “Well maybe she could have some for her baby doll. That’s not a bad idea.”

She lifted herself on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek. “But I can clear out some space by just giving them to Nancy. She has that really big closet.”

He bit his lip and appeared to ponder the situation for a moment. He then looked back down at her as he said, “I don’t really care about the box taking up room. And you know what, that might be weird giving it to Nancy when she’s not even pregnant. She’s not, right?”

“No, but I told you she and Ryan are thinking about it.”

He turned away from her and said breezily, “I’ll just go ahead and toss that box up on one of the shelves. It can stay up there for a _few years_ as far as I’m concerned. We can bring it down when someone needs it.” He proceeded to stroll toward the bedroom with his jacket.

Annie watched him go, her head tilted to the side in bewilderment.

“He’s such a goober.”

Annie turned to see Britta still lying on the floor, but she was propping up her neck and head with her arms. She was looking at Annie with a bemused expression on her face.

Sophie was nuzzling into Britta’s side and giggling.

Annie shook her head and threw her hands up in the air. “That’s a really strange reaction, right? Almost _rude_. I just told him his cousin had _a baby_ , and he didn’t even want to see a picture. I guess most guys aren’t interested in newborns, but I thought he might be.”

Britta rolled her eyes. “Oh, Annie.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Hey, could you help me up before the spaz comes back?” 

**************************

Jeff leaned over the pool table and lined up his shot.

“Maybe you could teach me, handsome?”

He may have blushed. Just a little.

He then suppressed a smile as he remarked, ever-so-sternly, “Stop trying to distract me. You’re probably a hustler.”

Annie smiled slyly and moved closer to him. “Me? How could I possibly beat _you_ at pool? You with your beefy, manly arms.”

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and noticed she was batting her eyelashes furiously while twisting the ends of her hair.

He licked his lips and made the shot. He then straightened up and pumped a fist in the air. “Yes!”

Annie scowled.

Jeff turned to her and said smugly, “You think you’re good, Edison. But you can’t get to me. I’m really awesome at this game.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “I know.” She then looked off to the side and began to smooth her dress.

Jeff watched as a red tint made its way across her face.

“Wait, huh?”

“Jeeefff…” She began to fidget with the hem of her skirt.

His eyes widened in comprehension. “Oh.” His voice cracked as he asked, “Um, physical education class?”

She shot a quick look at him before she turned away. “It was pretty memorable. You were _really good_.”

His eyes twinkled as he stepped closer to her. He kissed her cheek and said with a growl, “Here, let me show you how to play.”

She may have squeaked.

He turned her around and proceeded to commit one of the cheesiest romantic clichés of all time as he began to teach Annie Edison how to play pool.

Abed would have been proud. 

******************************

“This is fun. I’m glad you suggested we go out.”

Jeff clinked his tumbler of Scotch to her wine glass as they settled into a bar booth. “Yeah, and it’s not too busy in here on a Wednesday night.”

Annie beamed. “I love it. Playing pool with you was really fun.”

“Maybe we could practice some moves at home?”

She kicked his shin lightly under the table while continuing to grin.

He smirked as he sipped his Scotch. “As happy as I am to be out with you, are you sure we did the right thing in leaving the munchkin with Britta?”

Annie laughed. “Yes. I told you, Lacey had something come up. There was _no way_ we were going to postpone this. And I showed Britta everything.”

He raised one eyebrow. “She can change a diaper?”

Annie nodded. “We went over all of that. She’ll be fine. Plus, I told her to call me if she had any questions.”

“Why was she doing _yoga_ then when you were changing the hobparrot earlier?”

Annie rolled her eyes. “Well, she was a little freaked out at the idea of dealing with a messy one, which it was.”

“Oh, please.”

She narrowed her eyes at him from across the table. “Hey, you used to be like that too. But _anyway_ , I assured her since we already put Sophie down for bed before we left that if she needs to change her it won’t be anything like that. Plus I had her practice again on the baby doll, um, just in case.”

Jeff shook his head and then sighed. “All right. But if we get a panicked call, don’t be surprised.”

“We’re only fifteen minutes away.”

“True.”

Annie began to rock in the booth from side to side while smiling at him.

Jeff watched her with amazement. “You seem in a very good mood.”

“I am, silly. I’m with you. And one of our best friends is watching _our daughter_ …”  
  
Jeff still found himself getting used to that term, noticing the warmth spreading through his chest.

Annie continued, “And I’m enjoying helping the Dean clean up Greendale this summer. We’ve been organizing all the files. I color-coded them. He’s really pleased…”

Jeff found himself fascinated that she could be so content with such a task.

She pouted slightly and continued, “Although he did seem a little upset when I updated my address. For some reason he recognized it as yours. But I think he’s doing better now….”

Jeff’s eyes widened as he made the decision not to interject a comment.

She waived a hand in the air and moved on, “And Pierce is _back_. Well, not technically back _in the group_ , but he’s talking to us and to Troy again…”

Jeff nodded politely.

She took a sip of wine and went on, “And Abed’s getting along with his dad at the falafel shop. And Shirley is doing really well with her new baby and working things out with Andre…”

Jeff continued to nod.

\--“And one of the best people I know in the entire world is getting married next week. I am so happy for Nancy and Ryan. He’s a good guy, and she deserves to be happy.”

“Oh, that’s right. That’s next week.”

She shot a panicked look at him. “You’re coming with me, right?”

“Oh for Christ sake, Annie. Of course I am. I was just kidding.”

“Oh.” She let out a breath of relief.  
  
He smirked. “You talk about it all the time. Isn’t it only going to be a small ceremony?”

Annie sighed wistfully as she began to twirl the ends of her hair once again. “Yes. But that makes it all the more _romantic_. And she’s letting me do the flowers for her hair and a small bouquet. And if Sophie’s in a good mood, she can be a little flower girl! I’ll help her of course since she’s so little, but won’t she be adorable?”

Jeff found himself tense.

_Dammit. Annie really loves flowers._

He cleared his throat and then said, “It’s in Nancy’s backyard.”

“So?” She eyed him curiously, noticing his hunched shoulders.

“ _Flower girl_? Annie, from my understanding there are going to be less than ten people present.”

She huffed. “It doesn’t say anywhere that we need to have more people there in order to have a flower girl. Plus won’t she be so _cute_?”

Jeff suddenly found himself smiling and leaning back a little in the booth. “Yeah, she will be.”

Annie nodded. “Thank you. Please don’t let Mister Grouch resurface. You’re more fun when you’re relaxed.”

“Oh really?”

“But I love you anyway. Even if you are sometimes a grouch.” 

*************************

Annie and Jeff were in good spirits when they returned to the apartment.

Annie laughed as she swatted his chest and said, “You are crazy. I am not going to wear anything like that to Nancy’s wedding.”

“But it would be fun.” Jeff licked his lips.

“For _you_.”

He shrugged as he closed the door behind them.

Annie carefully took off her heels and padded into the living room. Jeff followed her.

They stopped and stared as they took in the sight of Ian sitting next to Britta on the couch.

“So now what do I do? I just passed ‘Save the Whales.’ Do I collect $50?”

“No, dumbass. You don’t collect any money. That’s kind of the point of this game.”

“Well bloody hell, how am I going to survive?”

“You have to find your _community_. Everyone does better when they’re not alone and participating in our individualistic capitalist oppressive system. With a _community_ you will always have a safety net. You won’t have to panic if you can’t afford medication for your cats, you won’t…”

Ian interjected, “Wait, Miss Perry, is Mister Whiskers taking a turn for the worse?”

Jeff’s voice sounded loudly, “Ahem.”

Britta and Ian jumped and turned around to see Jeff and Annie. Jeff had his arms folded over his chest and was regarding them with an expression of shock.

Annie was smirking and staring Britta down.

“What the _hell_ are you doing here?”

Ian gulped and pulled on his tie. “Well hello, Jeffrey. I stopped by to see you, but you weren’t in. Miss Perry was kind enough to invite me to play this delightful Monopoly game with her.”

Britta scowled and punched him. “It’s not _Monopoly_. It’s the _anti-Monopoly_.”

Ian winced and rubbed his shoulder. “My apologies.”

“It’s fine. You’ll learn.” Britta continued to regard him with narrowed eyes.

Jeff studied Ian with suspicion. His eyes darted back and forth between him and Britta. “Why do I get the feeling I’m missing something?”

Annie let out a loud sigh. “Britta, you didn’t tell me you invited Ian over. It’s fine, but…”

Britta gasped. “I didn’t invite Professor Duncan here! He wanted to see Jeff.” She proceeded to point at Jeff for clarification.

Jeff frowned in puzzlement. Suddenly his eyes opened wide. He pointed at Ian. “Aha! Now I get what’s strange. You’re _sober!_ ” He paused and then added, “Wait, since when do you stop by _sober?_ ”

Ian took the opportunity to nod vigorously and stood. “Yes, Jeffrey, let’s discuss what I’m doing here. You can’t just send me a _text_ saying you and Annie have moved in together. Why, I could have missed it…”

\--“You never miss a text.”

Ian continued, “But it’s bloody _rude_. After all we’ve been through.”

“Oh please.”

“And of course your mum was talking about it to me, and why I think she thought I knew all the details. Which of course I _don’t_.” He cleared his throat and mumbled, “It was more than mildly awkward, to say the least.”

Britta shot Ian a look.   “When did you talk to Jeff’s mom?”

He continued to mumble, “This morning. I had some business in Denver.”

“Wait, you went to _Denver_?”

Annie walked over and grabbed a pillow. She began forcefully fluffing it as she turned with a sweet smile. “Britta, how did everything go with Sophie?”

Britta gave Ian one last confused look and turned her attention to Annie. “Oh, she’s fine. I checked on her here and there, but she slept the whole time.”

Annie continued to smile. “Thanks, Britta. And you know we said we’d pay you, right? You can get medicine for your cat.”

Britta let out a breath. “Oh, thank you, Annie. Really, that’s awesome.   I mean, not that I can accept it of course, since money is…”

Jeff walked over and handed her some bills. “Get the medicine, Britta. And thank you. It was really nice of you to help us out.”

Britta took a moment to regard Jeff thoughtfully. “Okay.” She proceeded to stuff the money into her pocket. “I hope you guys had a nice time.”

Annie gave Britta a hug.

“We did.”

After ushering them out of the apartment, Jeff turned to Annie.

“Wait…why did Britta bring over a boardgame? She was babysitting by herself.”

Annie smiled wearily at him. “Let’s talk about it tomorrow. Bed?”

“Hell yes.” 

*****************************

Jeff was more than pleased that Sophie was sleeping soundly in her own room. They made use of the alone time and proceeded to reconnect.

As Annie rolled onto her back, Jeff said between gasps, “God, that was amazing.”

“Of course it was, Mister Grouch.”

“I’m not a grouch. Would a grouch have done _that_?”

“Hmmm…I don’t know. Maybe.”

He smirked as he pulled her into his side. “It’s been way too long. I’ve been wanting to touch you…”

Annie interjected, “It’s only been a week. And you have _touched me_. Unless naptime doesn’t count?”

He rolled on his side and began to pepper her with kisses down the side of her neck. “No, it definitely does. But nighttime is special. We can take our time. And not be interrupted by other things, like stupid dumb adulting stuff.”

“Like laundry?”

“Um hm.”

“And studying?”

“I’d hardly call Greendale studying _adulting_ , Annie.”

She sighed and then began to smile as he moved lower.

“Jeeeff….aren’t you tired? I thought I wore you out.”

He mumbled, “Not yet. I told you, I’ve been starving for this. And I should be clear I think we both could go a second round, if I have a little time to recuperate. Let me just…”

He moved even lower.

She let out a moan. “Oh God.”

Suddenly they heard the wailing.

_“Mama! Mama!”_

Annie winced.

“As I said many moons ago, she’s kind of a cockblocker.”

“Jeff!”

Swat.

 


	6. New Frontiers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff starts to get used to the idea of celebrating Father’s Day

“ _No!_ _Dee Dee NOT deepa bee bee. Bee bee tag bat.”_

Jeff’s eyes widened as Sophie yanked the baby doll out of his hands and made a run toward the bathroom.  

He ran over her words in his mind as he rose to follow her.

Deepa?

That one was easy: diaper.

He looked down at the doll diaper in his hand. Check.

Tag bat?

_Take bath?_

_Oh no._

He realized that he had forgotten to empty the bathtub from Sophie’s bath earlier. The bath she had desperately needed after he somehow got it into his head he could actually feed her tomato sauce spaghetti, the dish she had insisted on eating.

_What was the alternative? What if she didn’t eat? She is very small. What if she died of starvation?_

_Annie would be really mad._

_I’d be a crappy father._

A minute later he briefly congratulated himself on successfully averting a baby doll disaster in the bathroom.

 

x

x

As Annie let herself enter the apartment, she heard the shouting.

_“No, Fee gif bee bee bat!”_

This exclamation was followed by crying.

Which was followed by Jeff’s firm, yet controlled voice.

“We don’t put the baby doll in the bathtub. Baby doesn’t like to get wet. Grandma didn’t think it through when she got you a baby that has a stuffed cloth body.”

_“Bee bee wan bat! Bee bee wan duckie!”_

“The baby doll can have the duckie towel. But she’s not going in the bathtub.”

_“No Dee Dee!”_

“Sophie. We are not putting the baby in the bathtub.”

“ _Fee wan.”_

“I said no.”

Scream.

Annie placed her hand near her mouth, kicked off her shoes, and jogged to the bathroom. She paused in the doorway as she took in the sight of Jeff kneeling in front of a distraught Sophie. He was holding her baby doll and appeared to be attempting to hand her the duckie towel. Sophie didn’t seem to be capable of understanding, as she was turning purple with tears rolling down her cheeks.

Jeff let out a wearied sigh as he ran his hand over his scruff. He moved to a sitting position, leaning against the sink and extending his legs in front of him. “Fine. I’ll just sit here with your baby doll and towel until you’re done. You’re welcome to join us when you’re ready.”

Annie gave a soft knock on the doorframe.

“Hi guys.”

Sophie silently cried as she continued to stare longingly at the bathtub.

Jeff’s eyes shot up to Annie, and he smiled weakly. “Hey. See, I’m terrible at this.”

Annie shook her head. “You’re not.” She then went over to sit down next to the tub and eyed Sophie with a gentle concern. “Sweetie, I’m home.”

Sobs.

“ _Mama?”_

“Yes, sweetie, let’s go play in your room. Come on.”

Jeff watched as Annie extended her hand. While it was a slight blow to his ego that Annie was clearly the better parent - _how does she know how to do this stuff? -_ he had to admit that he admired watching her work her magic. He knew Sophie soon would be putty in Annie’s hands.

Annie then made the tactical mistake of reaching over to pull the bathtub drain.

As the bubbles began to loudly drain out of the tub, Sophie appeared to catch on.

_“Mama! No! Fee bat! Fee wawa! No!”_

Annie pursed her lips and then went to pick her up, at which point Sophie pivoted and ran into Jeff’s arms.

“ _Dee Dee. Mama not. Dee Dee…”_ She continued to mumble between sobs as Jeff held her to his chest.

He shot Annie an initially surprised and then sheepish look.

He kissed Sophie’s head and said in a soft voice, “It’s okay, munchkin. Here, let’s go see what Ruthie and your bear are up to.” He stood and cast a look at Annie, the corners of his mouth moving up slightly.

Annie said softly, “See, you’re fine.”

He shrugged one shoulder in response and then carried Sophie off to her room.

Annie watched them go with a sense of wonder. She then smiled to herself and shook her head.

She’d have to be sure Jeff had an excellent Father’s Day. 

*******************************

Jeff sat at his law firm desk. He figured he was lucky to have an ‘office’ at all, which spoke to how much Ted valued his uncanny Winger-arguing abilities. Sure, it wasn’t nearly as pristine of a workspace as the good ol’ days, but that was fine. Especially since he was only in the office occasionally.

He sighed wistfully as he examined the windowless walls.

At least he got to do some lawyering these days. Sure, it was mostly technical stuff such as reviewing contracts or providing strategy for counsel, but it paid decently. And he was becoming more acutely aware of his need to continue earning a paycheck.

Hobmonsters ate a lot of cheese crackers.

He chuckled to himself as he leaned back in his chair and attempted to toss a crumpled piece of paper into the wastebasket. He frowned when he missed it by an astounding margin.

 _Troy knows how to shoot paper ball baskets_.

He continued to ponder their recent conversation, wondering if they would need to actually launch the ‘sting operation.’ Part of him was itching to do it, but he also realized there might be simpler solutions.

Which brought his mind back to the paycheck part. God, he needed to get out of Greendale as soon as humanly possible so that he could get back to being a real lawyer. Then maybe he and Annie could get a place/condo/house (?) in a decent school district.

_And maybe a dog? Sophie needs a dog._

His face flushed.

_How the hell did I get domesticated? God, Ian was right._

He shivered from that very last thought as he reached over and shoved the paper ball into the basket.

His mind went back to Nancy’s wedding, which they had attended the previous weekend. True to Annie’s wishes, Sophie was able to cheerfully perform her flower girl duties (with Annie assistance, of course). And she did look pretty damn adorable, even with all the goddamn flowers. So did Annie, in her light blue dress and strappy heels.   He guessed Nancy looked nice as well, but if he were honest, he hadn’t been paying that much attention to her. He ended up clapping and smiling when appropriate, his thoughts spinning as to the ways he could put Adam in his place.

That douche needed to have his ego checked. Life would be more manageable for all of them if Adam were kept in a nice little box, coming by for his _very brief_ supervised visits every once in awhile.

And if the ass couldn’t pay his full share of child support, then he would find a way to make sure Sophie didn’t need Adam’s money.

He continued to stare at the wastebasket with a frown.

There was a knock on his door. He looked up to see Penelope, one of the mid-level legal assistants, balancing a tall pile of files in her arms.

She smiled brightly to him. “Hi Jeff. I believe you needed these? Alan said you’d want to go through them tonight.”

Penelope had been working at the firm for a few years and was remarkably efficient and sharp. While she was only a legal assistant and therefore couldn’t be in charge of higher-level operations, she clearly had the potential for more. Before he was suspended, Jeff had been encouraging her to go to law school. Since she was only late twenties, thirty tops, she’d have plenty of time to delve into a solid legal career.

He had relaxed when she has been assigned to work with him upon his return to the firm. Old Jeff, ladies man, had never hit on her. He had been smart enough to avoid sleeping with women he worked with. Old Jeff had preferred more casual encounters in the safe zone far away from the workplace.

Thus, he had a solid working relationship with Penelope. They even joked around a little, in a very safe and detached way. Which is why he was particularly annoyed at the moment.

He eyed the files and cringed. “Thank you, but I’m not working with Alan on any cases. I’m with Mitchell.”

Her eyes widened. “Wait, you mean…”

“He’s trolling me. Sorry you got involved.”

She grunted out, “Why, the nerve!”

He motioned over to his desk. “Here, just put them down here. I’ll re-file them.”

She smiled wearily at him as she placed the folders on his desk. “Thank you. I wish you were back here full time.”

“Yeah, me too.”

At that moment, Mitchell Higgins came strolling into the room, knocking loudly on the door as he entered.

“Hey, Jeff. Let’s strategize about that meeting with Harper on Monday.”

Jeff turned his attention from Penelope to Mitchell and smiled tightly. “Yeah, sure.”

Mitchell looked back and forth between them and smirked. “Unless I’m _interrupting_ anything?”

Jeff rolled his eyes while Penelope blushed.

“Cut it out Mitchell. Penelope was just dropping off some files. And notice the door is _wide_ open.”

Mitchell shrugged. “Sorry. You should have seen what I caught Connor doing last week with the door _wide_ open.”

Jeff groaned as Penelope stifled a laugh. She plopped down in a chair on the other side of Jeff’s small desk.

Mitchell licked his lips as he watched her place her high heeled feet on a low footrest. He moved his eyes back to Jeff and continued, “But we should probably talk about Harper.”

Jeff sighed and leaned back in his chair, lacing his hands in back of his head. “Right. I’m all set on my end.”

“But we should prep. He’s a weasily bastard.”

Jeff groaned and stared at the ceiling. “Yeah, okay, but let’s get it done quickly. It’s Friday.”

Mitchell smirked. “I know. Over drinks? Penelope, you could join us.”

She narrowed her eyes and then looked down and began picking at her nails. “Thanks, but I’ll pass.”

“Your loss.”

Jeff cleared his throat and resuming eye contact said, “I can’t do drinks tonight.”

Mitchell looked at him incredulously and shook his head. “I’ve got a fundraiser dinner tomorrow!” He then appeared to ponder the situation for a moment, kicking at some loose threads on the carpet. He looked back up at Jeff with a sigh. “I suppose we could be lame-os and meet up Sunday night. I can’t get _too_ blitzed then, but hell maybe we could then actually get some strategizing done…”

Jeff shook his head. “Can’t Sunday.”

“Come on, Winger. Church isn’t even in session Sunday evenings.”

Jeff snorted. “No. It’s Father’s Day.”

Mitchell frowned. “Oh, right. I just send my dad baseball tickets. You and your dad like actually get together and do shit?”

Jeff sighed and shook his head. “No, my dad’s a prick.” He added nonchalantly, “I’m spending Sunday with my daughter.”

Both Mitchell and Penelope’s eyebrows rose.

“Since when do you have a kid? Whoa.” Mitchell’s mouth fell open.

Penelope moved her feet off the footrest and turned toward Jeff. “I didn’t realize. I mean, you never talk much about your personal life, but I think we all just assumed…”

Jeff placed his hand in the air and made his trademark cutting gesture. To his relief they both ceased their murmurs.

“Yes, I have a kid. Her name is Sophie, and she’s almost two.”

Mitchell suddenly slapped his thigh. “Jumping Jesus, Winger!   So that’s what you were doing in between your suspension and coming back to the firm.”

Jeff rolled his eyes.

Mitchell regarded Jeff with bewilderment.   “Who’s her mother?”

Jeff raised his eyebrows and stared at him. He replied slowly, “My girlfriend. Annie. _You met her_.”

Mitchell frowned in thought. “I did?” His eyes widened. “Oh hey, the cute little brunette?’

Jeff nodded at him as if he were an idiot. “Yes, Mitchell. Very good.”

“Wow. But you’ve never said…”

Jeff cut him off, “I don’t like to mix personal and professional. You know that.”

Penelope smiled softly at him. “But Jeff, this is huge. You have a _daughter_. I think we all would have liked to know that. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.” He shrugged.

Penelope’s smile turned into a grin. “Come on, can I see a picture?”

“Well…” Jeff started to blush.

Mitchell groaned. “For fuck’s sake, Winger. We need to get moving on this planning. You can go and hold hands with your kiddo some other time.”

Jeff narrowed his eyes at him. “We can meet _now, at the office_. And then we can all go home. And we’ll be fully prepared for Monday. And as I told you, I have my part all ready to go.”

Mitchell seemed to consider this for a moment. “Fine. I suppose…”

Jeff exchanged looks with Penelope. He then smirked at Mitchell as he said, “And if you don’t mind, I’m going to take a minute to show Penelope some pictures.”

Mitchell shook his head and laughed uproariously. “See I always thought you’d be showing her some different kind of pictures, _if you know what I mean_?”

Jeff asked dryly, “How’s Barb?”

Mitchell squinted. “Who?”

Penelope scowled. “Get out, Mitchell.” She then pulled her chair next to Jeff and pointed to his phone. “Show me a bunch. I have nephews and I’m obnoxiously proud of them.”

Jeff grinned as he pulled up the first picture. “Okay, this one was taken the other day. But she was still mad at her mom for interfering with a misguided attempt at bathing her non-immersible baby doll.”

Penny laughed as she regarded the photo. “She’s adorable! And that _face_.”

“Yeah, she was kinda pissed off, which is why I couldn’t let her know I was taking this pic. But I’ll show you some more respectable ones…”

Mitchell let out a loud sigh. He called out as he left the room, “God Winger, Connor is right. You are lame.”

Jeff didn’t care. 

********************************

Although Jeff was eager to spend the weekend with Annie and Sophie away from the office, any potential excitement he may have had for his first Father’s Day was tempered by the intrusion of _the douche_.

He supposed even if Adam weren’t in the picture the idea of actually celebrating Father’s Day might have more than slightly terrified him. His few memories of the holiday were not ones he was eager to revisit. Although he knew Bill Winger was long gone, he really had no clue how a father was supposed to behave on such a day.

So he took a deep breath and channeled his anxiety into handling Adam.

Adam, the guy who donated half his DNA.

Douche.

Jeff was irritated by the way the whole thing happened.

 

x

x

x

_“Come on Annie, I would really like to do better this year. Please let me spend Father’s Day with our kid.”_

_Annie groaned as she rocked the phone in between her shoulder and ear. She continued to fold laundry as she responded, “Of course you can see her. It’s just we made plans to go to Denver to see Jeff’s mom. We’re going to make the day of it. Maybe you could see her the following weekend?”_

_“That’s not Father’s Day, Annie.”_

_Annie closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she responded. “I know. But it’s just a commercial holiday. The day itself doesn’t matter, right? And she won’t even know.”_

_“Annie… please.”_

_At that moment, Jeff moved from his standing position in the doorway. He said, “Let me talk to him,” and motioned for the phone._

_Annie pursed her lips and handed over her cell._

_Jeff cleared his throat and then affected a low and even voice. “Adam, this is Jeff.”_

_“Oh hey. Were you listening to all that?”_

_“Yup. Look, as Annie explained, we have plans on Sunday. But we are more than happy to have you come over another time.”_

_“I know. And hey, I’m sorry for inconveniencing you guys. But I feel terrible about what how I behaved last year. I’d like to do this differently.”_

_Jeff took a deep breath and held back his urge to scream._

_Adam continued, “I know I’ve been a crappy dad, but I’d still like to see Sophie. And I know she probably doesn’t even care, but hey, one day she will right? And I don’t want her to think that I don’t want to see her. That would suck. So please, man? Will you guys just let me come by? I won’t be long if that helps.”_

_Annie shot a look up to Jeff, standing by his side as held the phone out to her. She mouthed silently, “We should let him come over. Just for a little while.”_

_Reluctantly, Jeff nodded. He hit speaker._

_“Adam, I have you on speaker phone. Annie’s here and we’ve made a decision.”_

_Annie gulped and then said, “We’d be happy to have you come by in the morning for a short visit.”_

_“Oh hey, Annie. Jeff. That’s great. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much I appreciate this.”_

_Jeff wasn’t sure if they were taking the high road or merely being chumps._

 

x

x

x

 

“I can’t believe he’s insisting on seeing her. He did his best to blow us off last year.”

Jeff crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the stove. “What exactly happened last year _?”_

Annie sighed. “I invited him over. I knew it would be awkward, but I thought it was the right thing to do. And it’s not like I celebrate it normally, so Sophie and I were free. And he told me _maybe_.”

“Maybe? What the hell does that mean?”

She sighed again. “He was trying to make things right with his dad, after everything. And he was still feeling strange around Sophie. She was so new to him, he said it was a lot of pressure.”

“Okay, I’ve heard enough. Let’s just make this whole thing brief.”

Annie grimaced. “We’ll have the rest of the day. Your mom’s really excited that you said she could hang out with us.”

“Yeah, well...”

“That was sweet of you. She says she hasn’t celebrated Father’s Day in years.”

He stiffened as he said, “Yeah, not since my dad. And her own dad was, well, that’s a story for another day.”

Annie reached up and touched his arm. “I know some of that. This will be good for all of us. None of us know what we’re doing, but we’ll make it a nice day.”

******************************

Annie paced back and forth while kneading the teal pillow.

She whispered, “I hate him.”

Jeff crossed his arms over his chest as he whispered back, “He might show up. He’s only twenty minutes late.”

Annie shook her head and came up to him. She spoke in a low voice, “No. He’s done this to people before. Anytime he doesn’t want to do something. I’m sure I’ll get some bogus text within the next half hour saying he can’t come.”

Jeff glanced over at Sophie who was sitting enthralled in front of the television set as a Shirley-approved cartoon played. He moved his eyes back to Annie’s and said, “Let’s just sit down.”

“No. Ooooohhh…I’m going to kill him. I’ll just go get my car keys while you watch her, okay?”

“Annie. This isn’t like you. Please.”

She scowled. Jeff recognized that face. He cast another glance in Sophie’s direction.

Suddenly Annie’s phone buzzed. She took a deep breath and placed the pillow on the couch.

She read the text aloud, “So sorry, Annie. My dad’s sick. It looks really bad. Please, please understand. I can’t get there today. Give Sophie a hug for me.”

Annie looked up from her phone and met Jeff’s angry gaze.

Jeff was disarmed when he observed her suddenly lift her shoulders back and let out a quick breath.

She smiled brightly and grabbed her purse. Tossing her phone inside, she remarked cheerily, “Well, that’s settled. Now we don’t have to wait around anymore for him. We can get on with our special day and go earlier to Denver than we planned.”

While still feeling his blood pulsing, Jeff was conscious of the hairs standing up on the back of his neck. Watching Annie Edison in action like this was both inspiring and worrisome.

She looked up from her bag and smiled more genuinely at him as she said, “We’re going to celebrate _our_ Father’s Day. And next year, well, I’m not going to let him do this. He doesn’t get to guilt me into having her wait for someone who isn’t ever going to really be there for her.”

“Annie, I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged and wiped something from the corner of her eye. “Don’t be. We tried. I felt like I needed to be decent about it, you know? So I was. _We_ were. And if he wants to see Sophie, he’ll just have to play by our rules. New rule is he doesn’t get to ruin holidays. And he doesn’t get to see her on Father’s Day.”

Jeff began to move toward her but she quickly turned and made her way over to Sophie. She sat down next to her on the floor and pulled her into her lap.

_“Mama. Mama tee vee?”_

Annie gave Sophie a kiss on her forehead and let her snuggle into her chest. She began to pet her hair as she said softly, “We can finish this episode, and then we’re going with Daddy to see Grandma. Won’t that be so much fun?”

_“Gee gee.”_

“Yes. And we’re going to have a special family day.”

Jeff began to gather Sophie’s things, figuring he’d give Annie some space. 

*******************************

Jeff stepped into the hallway. He headed toward the elevator with the collapsible stroller underneath one arm and a diaper bag slung over the opposite shoulder. As he neared, the elevator doors opened and Troy stepped out, hands in his jean pockets, looking sheepish as he eyed Jeff.

“What are you doing here?”

“Hi. Sorry I didn’t call.” He appeared to take stock of the items Jeff was carrying. “Dude, are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah, we’re going to Denver for the day.”

“Oh.” Troy appeared to be disappointed.

Jeff sighed. “I’m loading up the car. Care to join me?” He yanked his head toward the elevator.

Troy nodded eagerly and followed him into the elevator.

“Make sure we don’t go too slowly past apartment two.”

Jeff squinted as he hit the button for the lobby level.   “Why?”

“I just came from there. I told Alice I couldn’t stay much longer, but man that lady has a way of guilting you into it. She even made me cookies.”

Troy patted his belly and looked at the floor. He added, “I may have eaten too many. Why do I keep forgetting you can eat too many cookies? Like I didn’t even think that was possible ‘til you keyed me in, but man, you’d think I could remember that. Especially after…”

Jeff interjected, “Troy. Focus.”

“Sorry.”

The elevator doors opened. They stepped out and made their way toward the building exit.

“Why are you here?” Jeff handed him the diaper bag, which Troy took without argument as they continued to walk.

Troy looked in both directions and cast a suspicious gaze toward apartment two. He said in an exaggerated whisper, “I’ve been thinking what we talked about. I’m ready whenever you are. I say we do it.”

Jeff opened the building door and motioned Troy through it. As they proceeded to the parking lot, he asked, “You mean the sting operation?”

“Yeah.”

Jeff nodded thoughtfully. They came to the Lexus. Jeff popped open the trunk and turned to Troy.

“Why now? And why did you come over here? You could have just called me.”

Troy scrunched up his face and nodded vigorously. “I know. I just really needed to get out of the mansion. Pierce is acting stranger than usual today. He’s been playing some weird-ass 70s disco at really loud volume since four am. Do you know what that’s done to my beauty sleep?”

“Wait, don’t you have a father you lived with up until last year? Why aren’t you with him today?”

Troy shrugged. “He took his girlfriend to Mexico for a couple weeks. And I tried to see what Abed was up to, but even his dad wanted them to do something today. He said I could come, but I don’t know, I don’t think his dad likes me very much.”

“Troy, geez. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Shirley said I could come over, but I don’t think Lacey likes me either, but really I have no idea why.”

“Troy…”

He began to sniff as he said, “And I thought, I wonder what Britta’s doing? She never mentions her parents. I called her, but she sounded really out of it. I don’t know, maybe I should go over there, cheer her up? But she said she wanted to be alone and didn’t have time for anything, that she was really busy. But I don’t know..”

“So you’re looking for something to do and thought you’d come over to plot with me?”

“Yeah.” Suddenly Troy’s eyes widened as he stared at the stroller and bag. “Oh! I didn’t think. You’re doing Father’s Day. Damn. Sorry, man, I’ll go.”

Jeff let out a long sigh. “We’re going to my mom’s.”

“Cool. Look, I’ll just...”

As Troy turned to leave, Jeff placed a hand on his shoulder.

Closing his eyes, he said, “Wait.”

Troy turned and looked at him expectantly.

Jeff stared at the sky as he asked, “Would you like to come to Denver with us and celebrate a I’m-sure-to-be-awkward-but-maybe-decent-if-not-kinda-okay-I-don’t-even-know-what-we’re-doing-Father’s Day?”

Troy grinned and gave a bounce. “You had me at _wait_!”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Okay, stay here and I’ll go see if Annie and Sophie are ready.”

“Sure thing.” Troy suddenly closed his eyes and winced as he patted his stomach.

“Are you okay?”

“I think so. Damn delicious cookies.”

“Goddammit. Don’t throw up in my car.”

“I won’t.”

Jeff eyed him suspiciously as he walked back into the apartment building.


	7. Father’s Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff’s first Father’s Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: After the festivities and writing involved with the glorious tumblr jxaappreciationweek2016 (and then a few days away with no wi-fi or laptop access), I’m back with another installment. 
> 
> FYI, if you haven’t read it, one of the ficlets (Contact) I wrote last week pertains to this universe. ☺ I also wrote another baby!fic (Sebastian). Goodness gracious, help me.
> 
> Warning, warning: FLUFF ALERT

“She won’t give it back to me.”

Jeff pursed his lips as he clenched the steering wheel. “I hate to point this out, _yet again_ , but you are technically the _adult_ here.”

There was a sniff.

“I _know_ , but she still won’t…”

\--“Troy.”

“Sorry.”

Annie turned around from the passenger seat and smiled sweetly.

“She’ll give it back if you ask her nicely.”

Troy eyed Sophie suspiciously. “You can’t see her since she’s facing backward in her carseat. I can tell she’s not going to give it back.”

Annie was aware of the sharp intake of air next to her. She reached over and patted Jeff’s leg as she directed her words at Troy in the backseat, “Maybe you should offer her an exchange.”

“I dunno….”

Jeff suddenly barked, “Goddammit! Troy, you are _not a child_. She is _23 month_ s. Surely you can let her hold onto your Spiderman keychain for a few minutes.”

“But it’s mine.”

“Need I remind you, you bought it at the rest stop _twenty minutes ago_. The rest stop where you insisted we go after I reminded you to use the bathroom _before_ we left Greendale.”

Annie reached into her purse and pulled out a small green creature. She handed it to Troy. “Here, give her Nathan. That’ll help shift her focus.”

“Thanks, Annie.”

Jeff nodded emphatically. “Um hmm…”

Annie looked over at him with a weak smile. “Everything’s okay.”

He sighed and kept his eyes on the road. “I know.”

“Now she took Nathan but still won’t give me my keychain.”

There was a giggle from the backseat. Followed by a squeal.

Jeff took a deep breath. “Troy. You will redirect your attention to the scenery. You can have your keychain when we get to Denver.”

“But I just bought it.”

“Troy.”

There were some beats of silence.

“I saw that, Troy.”

“How the….”

“Rearview mirror. Knock it off.”

Silence.

“Now I saw the eye roll. Do I have to stop this car?”

“No man, sorry.”

Silence.

Troy mumbled, “And I saw you roll your eyes at me. I can see you too, you know. In the mirror.”

“Goddammit.”

Annie squeezed Jeff’s thigh and then turned back to Troy. “Please look out the window. Do you see the pretty trees? Isn’t it lovely outside today? It’s the perfect June day.”

“Yeah, okay. But I’m not forgetting about Spidey.”

Jeff nodded. “Um hmmmm….”

Annie patted him again. “It’s okay. We’ll be there soon.”

He continued to nod vigorously. “Right. You know, we should give serious consideration to _never_ giving the munchkin a sibling. If this is a taste of that, I don’t think I could handle it.”

Annie’s eyes widened as she watched the road ahead of them.

She let out a squeak.

“Sibling?”

Jeff groaned as he kept an eye on Troy in the rearview mirror. “Yeah, I was an only child and was lonely, but you know sometimes perhaps a little loneliness isn’t the worst thing. Perhaps there wouldn’t be as much _sulking_. Or _jealousy_.”

“I’m not jealous, man.”

Jeff squinted. “Sure.”

Annie crossed her arms over her chest. “Need I point out to you that Troy is _not our child_. And Sophie has been behaving herself.”

Troy exclaimed, “Oh come on, she took my Spidey…”

Jeff interjected as he shot a quick glance to Annie, “Wait, so you _want_ her to have a sibling? I didn’t think…” he trailed off as he resumed watching the road.

She turned to look at him and said softly, “What didn’t you think?”

“Oh, um…” He shrugged.

Silence.

“What?”

He cringed. “I don’t know. What?”

“What are we talking about?”

He took a deep breath before he stated in a low voice, “I just thought you’d never want to do that again.”

Annie stared at his profile for a moment and then began to fiddle with the hem of her skirt.

She let out a long sigh before she said, “I don’t know. Not _now_ , obviously, but I had, um, I _have_ a little brother, and it was nice. I always thought if I had kids I’d have two.”

Jeff continued to watch the road as he said evenly, “So you want her to have a little brother or sister.”

Annie shook herself almost violently as she interjected, “I don’t know! I mean, you don’t sound like you’d like that, and really, that’s fine. I understand. She’s a lot to handle.”

She turned away and rested her forehead on the side window.

He groaned as he said, “Annie, I was just shooting my mouth off. I didn’t mean I wouldn’t consider it.”

“Eek!”

Silence.

Jeff gulped down what little saliva there remained in his mouth before he added, “I was just under the impression that wasn’t something you wanted.”

“Where did you get that idea?”

“You told Vaughn…”

\-- “It was _Vaughn_!”

“Wait, so you’re saying…”

“Guys! I hate to interrupt, but I have to go to the bathroom.” 

*****************************

Jeff peered further into the refrigerator and surveyed the contents.

“Do you need any help, dear?”

He grumbled, “Nope. I was just getting the ice tea pitcher. But I see you don’t have a lot of extra food, mom. Do you need anything? Because I know I’m not a lawyer right now, but I…”

Dorie reached over and pulled the pitcher out of the fridge and placed it on the table. She then firmly patted Jeff’s shoulder. “I’m fine, dear. I got everything we needed for today, and then I’m going grocery shopping tomorrow.”

He turned to her and closed the fridge. “Oh, because seriously…”

“I have a job you know. I’m fine. Please don’t worry about me.”

Jeff sighed and ran his hand over his scruff. “I make some money consulting. And I still have savings. Even with paying Greendale tuition, I could help you out.”

Dorie regarded him thoughtfully. “I appreciate that. I do. But I couldn’t ask for anything more, Jeffrey.”

A pinkness crept over his cheeks. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter. “Yeah, well, I just wanted to check.”

“Plus you have other responsibilities now. Like that adorable little child. You should save your money for her.”

Jeff smirked. “And keep her stocked in stuffed animals, cheese crackers, and bananas.”

Dorie nodded. “Of course.”

He let out a low chuckle.

She smiled. “I’m so glad you could all come over for Father’s Day. Annie really wanted to do something nice for you. This is okay that we did this, right?”

She studied his face.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Yes, mom. Thank you.”

She kept her gaze on him as he continued to look upward. “I know it’s a little weird, but we can start a new tradition. We don’t have to blacklist the holiday anymore.”

She watched as his body tensed.

He swiftly glanced down at her and widened his eyes. “I know. And Annie and I have discussed it. It’s important for the hobster. Not that she really understands now, but she will.”

He gave an exaggerated shrug, cleared his throat, and resumed his study of the ceiling tiles.

Dorie took a deep breath and patted his arm. “It’s important for you too.”

He shrugged again.

She let her hand linger on him as she said emphatically, “It is. I’m very proud of you. The way you’ve taken things on with Sophie. It’s very nice for me to see you like this. You’re nothing like _him_.”

“Mom, can we please not…”

Troy picked that moment to obliviously stick his head into the kitchen.

“Hey, Mrs. Winger, can I help you with anything?” He suddenly eyed Jeff sheepishly. “Oh, um, sorry if I was interrupting.”

Jeff sighed as he allowed his gaze to meet Troy’s. “You’re not.”

“Dude. I’m sorry about earlier.”

“We’re good.”

“Oh, thanks.”

Dorie’s eyes danced between them as she smirked. “Troy, could you please bring the pitcher onto the back deck? Jeffrey and I will be out there in a few minutes.”

She reached over and grabbed the pitcher.

Troy beamed as he took it from her. “Sure thing.”

He turned and left the room, an almost skip in his step.

Dorie watched him go as she remarked, “He’s a nice young man. Annie’s mentioned him before when she’s talked about your study group. I know they went to high school together.”

Jeff shrugged again.

Dorie nodded. “He looks up to you.”

“Yeah, well.”

His eyes skimmed over the kitchen table, noting the new scratches on the side. He considered the likely suspects: the hobmonster, Hank, an agile cat, perhaps a former Riverside quarterback.

Dorie observed his evasive maneuvers and steadfastly continued, “And he and I were having such a nice chat earlier over the potato salad. It’s such a shame his father is busy today. And that sweet Abed having to choose. It’s just so unfair.”

Jeff’s attention perked up. “Choose?”

“His father or Troy. And the poor dear understands, but he’s hurt. You did the right thing in inviting him to come here. Why, I know he’s a Jehovah’s Witness, but he’s welcome to come here for…”

\--“Mom!”

“What is it, dear?”

“You have to stop inviting people over for Christmas.”

“Nonsense.” 

***********************

Although her son was a stickler about carbs, Dorie knew he had a weakness for marble cake with vanilla frosting. He had loved that type of cake since he was a child, and it was the one thing she could get him on birthdays while growing up, the one thing that made him smile.

Of course as he got older he rebuffed her cakes, saying he was on a healthy eating regime. She noted his transformation, beginning in his teen years, as he steadily began lifting weights and compulsively calorie-counting. Part of her wrenched inside when she saw how much he denied himself even simple pleasures.

And of course she had her worries and suspicions that he allowed himself to indulge in some ways but tried her best not to think too much about it.  After she finally got up the courage to ask Annie about it a few months ago, she was able to breathe a sigh of relief at the knowledge that he didn’t appear to be drinking too much these days.

But she did always kind of _know_. She liked to think he knew she knew. Her son was no dummy.   It was of course one of the reasons for the house drink limit.

But she figured she could let her worries go, at least for now. This was Jeffrey’s first Father’s Day. It wasn’t a day she thought in recent years she’d be likely to celebrate with him, given his aloofness about his romantic life.

But here they all were.  

And her Jeffrey deserved a large marble cake with vanilla frosting. 

******************************

Dorie watched with pride as Jeff sat at the picnic table with Sophie on his lap.

He bent down and made an exaggerated growl and placed a kiss near Sophie’s ear.

_“Dee Dee!”_

There was a giggle.

Followed by a sniff.

Jeff’s eyes shot over to Troy.   “Can you please stop that?”

Troy wiped something from the corner of his eye. “Sorry, man. You’re just so sweet with her. I don’t see this when we’re in study group. You’re always playing it cool.”

Jeff’s eyes widened and he sat up straighter, unconsciously clutching Sophie to him.

Annie cleared her throat as she reached over and grabbed Jeff’s hand. She remarked evenly, “Troy, I know we’re not at school right now. This is Jeff’s first Father’s Day, and it’s a lot for him to take in. So let’s…”

\--“Annie!”

She turned to Jeff with the beginning of Disney eyes and a slight pout. “Yes?”

He pursed his lips. “Nothing.”

Dorie kept her eyes fixed on Annie’s hand over Jeff’s.

Jeff noticeably relaxed his shoulders and then disentangled himself from Annie’s grasp. He allowed Dorie to take Sophie so that he could pick up his fork.

Dorie smiled as she watched him dig into a piece of cake.

She felt warmth spreading in her chest as she noted Annie’s hand was again intertwined with his as he took a bite. 

**************************

Jeff leaned back in his lawn chair and crossed his arms. “God, do I have to? Just because I have Annie and the munchkin now doesn’t mean I’m expected to show up at all family gatherings? I mean, you and I both know Uncle Lou doesn’t even notice.”

“Jeffrey, my sister would be delighted. Holly and Mark would be thrilled. And most importantly, I would consider it a _very nice thing to do_.”

Jeff groaned. “Annie called them. She gave them our congrats. I think she may have even gotten Brad a present.”

Dorie squinted at him. “His name is _Braden_.”

Jeff shrugged.

Sometimes she wondered if he did things like that on purpose.

She took a deep breath and then sighed loudly. “Please come over to your Aunt Ellen’s house for a couple hours. Sophie can play with Sam. And you can meet the baby and be nice.”

“Why wouldn’t I _be nice_?”

“I know it’ll be boring for you, dear, but it’s important.”

Jeff rolled his eyes.

Annie, who was seated to Jeff’s left, scooted over her lawn chair. “Here let me press these together.”

Dorie watched as her son’s expression softened.

_Why, he’s almost smiling. Who ever would have thought it?_

Annie pushed down the arms of the chairs and shimmied closer to Jeff. She leaned into his side.

Dorie took the opportunity to excuse herself and scurry back to the house.

Jeff nuzzled into Annie’s neck and let his arm wrap around her shoulders.

“You’re such a goof.”

“Me?”

“Stop giving your mom a hard time.”

He chuckled. “I’m not. She’s stronger than that, trust me. We’ll go play _nicely_ with my family. And then maybe you and I can plot our vacation escape.”

“Escape?” She laughed.

“From our _children_.” He squinted at the horizon as he watched Sophie approaching with a wobble-run. Troy and Hank were on her heels.

_“Dinky Doy! Dinky Doy! Dinky Doy!”_

“I’m not stinky! Jeff, she called me stinky!”

Jeff bit his lip and grabbed Sophie as she came crashing into his lower legs. He hoisted her onto his lap.

Annie shook her head at Troy and turned to smile sweetly at Sophie.

Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of Sophie’s lower face covered in vanilla cake frosting.

“Sophie, sweetie, let’s get you cleaned up.” She grabbed a wet wipe out of her purse and reached toward Sophie.

_“Mama, no! Dee Dee go tave wid Fee.”_ Sophie swatted Annie’s hand away.

Jeff startled and exchanged looks with Annie. He bent down and whispered, “Tomorrow.”

Anne looked at him quizzically.

He continued to address Sophie, “We shave _tomorrow_. Daddy has an important meeting.”

“Dude, she thinks the frosting is shaving cream. Did you see what she did to her doll?”

Troy held up the baby doll, whose face was also covered in icing.

Annie laughed as she began to gently wipe off a pouting Sophie’s face.

“You’re right, Jeff. She is your _hobstalker_.” 

He attempted to suppress a smile as he watched Sophie’s attempts to squirm out of Annie’s reach. “She is.”

“I don’t think it’s fair she took so much frosting.”

Jeff turned swiftly to his right. “Troy, you don’t need any more cake. Remember Alice’s cookies?”

“That was this morning.”

“I swear to God, if you throw up in my car on the way back…”

\--“I didn’t get sick on the way here.”

Dorie came walking up to them while carrying a small envelope. “Dears, what is it?

Troy turned to her and pouted. “Jeff thinks I’m going to throw up if I have more cake.”

Dorie shook her head solemnly and wrapped her arm around Troy’s shoulder. He leaned into her side as she said, “Now, isn’t that up to you, dear? Why, I would think you’d be a very considerate passenger. You’re such a good friend to Jeffrey and Annie.”

Troy nodded and sniffed.

“Mom! Can you please just ignore him?”

“Jeffrey!”

Troy gently pulled away and began to sulk as he bent down to pet Hank. “I’m fine.”

Hank started licking Troy’s sugary hands.

Troy’s affect shifted as he looked up at Jeff and said excitedly, “Hey, Hank is cool. Do you think we can get a dog for the study group? I miss Annie’s Boobs.”

Jeff cringed. “I swear to God…”

Dorie’s mouth fell open.

Annie waved a hand in the air as she quickly explained with a slight stammer, “He named his pet monkey after me. It was just a silly joke.” She laughed nervously as she reached over and took Sophie from Jeff’s arms. “Here, I’ll go clean her up.”

Jeff tensed. “Let me do that.”

Annie exchanged a look with Dorie. “Um, I think your mom wants to talk to you. We’ll be back in a few minutes. Troy, would you help me?”

“Sure thing, Annie.”

They walked off toward the house, Hank trailing Troy.

Jeff watched them go and then let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry he’s being so weird. Sometimes he gets like this. He needs a nap.”

Dorie smirked as she sat down. “Do you think I care? He’s adorable. And Hank really likes him. Does he dog sit? Sometimes I like to go out of town for a night or two, and Maybelle’s getting on in years.”

“Mom!”

She moved the envelope over to him and pressed it in his hand.

“What’s this?”

“Just a little something. It was Annie’s idea.”

Jeff looked at her curiously.

She nodded toward the envelope.

He squinted and then opened it, eyeing a voucher for an afternoon of golf at one of the Denver golf spots.

“We thought about doing mini-golf today, you know, so Sophie could be included, but we realized she’s just too young. But grown up golf is something you could do another time. Take a friend.”

He raised his eyebrows and looked at his mom. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

She smiled. “I know. But it’s my son’s first Father’s Day. And that’s what father’s do, right? They play golf.”

He let out a low roar of laughter. “Yeah, I guess?”

“Sure they do.”

“Mom, thank you.”

“Of course. Annie said your golf clubs are getting dusty.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, well, I’ve been busy.”

“I know. And golf’s expensive. You have other priorities now. But go have some fun. I got a deal on it.”

“Sure you did.”

She leaned over and gave him a long hug.

With a squeeze.

“My son.” 

****************************

In the end, Jeff had a pretty decent first Father’s Day. They even made it back to Greendale without Troy messing up the Lexus. And without too many Troy-Sophie ‘arguments.’ In fact, Annie remarked how sweet the two seemed to be once they both fell asleep halfway home.

Once they returned and a delighted Troy received a text from Abed, they were left alone. Jeff had some time to toss his designer jeans in the washer (Sophie’s _shaving cream_ was embedded in one of the lower legs).

Once they put Sophie down for the night, they were _alone alone_.

Annie smiled up at him as he hovered over her on the bed. “You did really well with Troy today.”

“Can we please not talk about him right now?”

“Why not?” She fluttered her eyelashes.

He placed a kiss on her neck. “Because I’m planning on ripping your clothes off in a few minutes. After I thoroughly kiss your neck.”

She squeaked and then murmured, “You liked your Father’s Day?”

“Yes, Annie. Thank you.” He began to pepper kisses down her neck.

She rubbed her hands through his hair. “You had cake. Your mom was happy.”

“She told me you and Sophie picked it out.” He paused in his kissing to study her face.

She nodded empathically and grinned. “We did. Sophie picked out the frosting.”

“That explains Cookie Monster in the center.”

Annie laughed. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I wanted something else.”

He kissed her clavicle and then paused again. “Hm?”

“I wanted to get you an Oscar the Grouch cake. But we thought it might be too mean.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “That would be. I thought you wanted me to have a nice day. Not make fun of me.”

She tilted her head on the pillow and pressed her hand against his cheek. She studied his face for a few moments before she said softly, “I did want it to be a nice day for you. Which is why I _didn’t_ go with Oscar the Grouch. Not that I really know what to do on Father’s Day, but I wanted you to have a special day.”

He watched as a tear fell down her cheek.

He rolled onto his side and stroked her face as he suddenly became concerned. “I had a great Father’s Day. Really, you guys went all out.”

“We did not go _all out._ ”

“You did. It’s the best Father’s Day I’ve ever been a part of.”

Annie smiled tightly. “Me too.”

He gave her a questioning look.

She cleared her throat and said, “I guess I used to do stuff with my dad. But I haven’t thought about that in years. I can’t.”

“Annie…”

“It’s okay. I really wanted you and Sophie to start off right.   She’ll know more next year. And maybe she’ll give you a better drawing.”

He gave her a tender kiss and then pulled back. “I love her work. I put it on the fridge, didn’t I?’’

Annie pressed her cheek against the pillow and smiled slightly. “You did.”

“See? I can’t wait until she’s three. She’ll be like almost a fully functioning human being.”

Annie chuckled for a few moments and then fell quiet.

She eventually said, “What we started to talk about earlier in the car…um, you know I didn’t mean I felt we _needed_ to do that, right?”

He frowned. “Yeah, I know. Why would you think that I thought..”

She interjected and spoke quickly, “I don’t want you to think I haven’t been honest with you. That I had some idea of things without discussing it with you first. I don’t need another one.”

He sighed and ran his hand over his scruff. “Sure. But I suppose we haven’t discussed it.”

She furrowed her brow as she said, “I couldn’t tell if you were joking in the car, or why you even brought it up.”

He groaned and fell onto his back. “I don’t know. Troy was bothering me. But um, I guess, look, I meant what I said. I’d consider it, you know, if _you_ wanted.”

She regarded him thoughtfully. “You would?”

“Well yeah.”

“But you don’t _want_ another one?”

He shrugged. “I haven’t given it a lot of thought. But when would _you_ want to?”

Annie thought for a moment before she replied, “Not for awhile. Again, I also mean what I said. Sophie’s a lot of responsibility. And it might be a mistake for us to take on another baby.”

Jeff tensed for a moment.

“Well, it might be a little chaotic. But we go to _Greendale_ , Annie.”

Her eyes widened in realization.

She said softly, “You _do_ want one.”

He shrugged and began to count the dots in the ceiling.

“Since when?”

“Eh, I’m fine if we don’t. I told you, I love the munchkin.”

“You could have told me.”

“You could have told me you were thinking of two.”

She sighed. “That was more of a _fantasy._ I guess, in reality, it would be kind of messy. I didn’t plan on having Sophie so young.”

He closed his eyes as he said, “God, I know. And I don’t want to put any more pressure on you. We can take care of the hobster. That’ll be fine. And she can socialize with Dino or Sam or Ben or _Brad_ …”

Annie habitually rolled her eyes.

\-- “or whomever. She’ll be okay.”

They were quiet.

Annie’s voice trembled slightly as she finally asked, “Do you want a _biological_ child?”

Jeff appeared to think about this for a time before he responded, “Biology is overrated. You and I both know that.”

Annie said softly, “Maybe we could talk about it later? When she’s a little bit older? When we’re out of Greendale and things have settled down?”

He mumbled, “You’ll still be awfully young.”

“I know. But won’t I always be younger than you? And at your age, you’d want another child. If I were ten years older, or even five years older, we’d be talking about it…”

He interjected, “Stop. Please.”

She persisted, “It’s true. I’m serious when I say I think we should talk about this more after we’ve graduated and see what timeline makes sense then.”

He cleared his throat. “I would be back to practicing law. We could afford good daycare.”

She leaned forward and nuzzled her head into his chest. He pulled her in closer.

She said, “We’ll be fine either way. But let’s talk about it, okay?”

“Deal.”

“And Jeff?”

He gulped. “Yeah?”

She pouted as she asked, “You’re _shaving_ tomorrow morning?” 

He relaxed his chest and placed a kiss on her head. “I have to. Mitchell and I have a meeting with that Harper guy.”

“So you won’t be my handsome hobo anymore?” She drawled out the question suggestively.

“I’ll be _suit-Jeff_. Does that do it for you?”

She smiled mischievously. “Maybe just a little.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Oh really?”

“Weren’t you going to rip off my clothes?”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

 

 

 

 


	8. Damsel in Distress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff comes to Annie’s rescue

Annie placed the file in its alphabetized spot and firmly pushed the top cabinet drawer shut. She sighed in satisfaction.

_Everything is okay. Everything is in its place._

“Why, Annie, you are a gift sent from _heaven_. What would I do without you?”

She spun around to face the Dean, who was cocking his head to the side, one hand placed lightly on his chest.

“Oh! Dean Pelton, you startled me!” She felt the pulsing sensation located on both sides of her head increase. He continued to stare at her as if he were a bird awaiting breadcrumbs.

At her lack of response, the Dean shook himself and then waived a hand in the air. He pivoted and began to sort through Annie’s carefully stacked mail on the desk. He licked a finger and flipped a few pages from one of the documents.

Flick, flick, flick.

She fought an urge to grab the pile from him. As much as she was fond of the Dean, she was discovering he had a strong tendency toward chaos.

But he was so _sweet_. She attempted to channel thoughts of goodness as she tried not to fixate on his newly grown goatee.

She wanted to rip it off his face.

_What is wrong with me?_

She had been conscious of a tenseness in all of her muscles over the past couple weeks. She raised a hand to her forehead and frowned.

“Annie, are you okay? Do you need to sit down?”

She scowled for a second and then quickly turned on a bright smile.

The Dean backed away and eyed her with caution.

She swatted the air and sighed. “Oh, I’m fine. Just a little tension headache. No big deal.”

“Oh, here, do you need anything?” He placed a hand in his pocket and removed a small bottle. “Advil? I get headaches too sometimes,” he said cheerily as he held up the bottle and shook it.

Shake, shake, shake.

Annie eyes widened as an “Eek!” escaped her lips.

“What’s wrong? You look pale.”

“Nothing. I’m sorry. I need to get some air.” With that, she turned on her heels and rushed out the door. 

*********************

“So there I was, just sitting there, minding my own business, and that tiny bastard crawled right across my leg.”

Jeff gripped the steering wheel. He shot a look over at Ian in the passenger seat.

He wondered how he ended up with two awkward car trips in the matter of weeks.

He remarked sardonically, “That’s _fascinating_.”

“Oh shut up. I know perfectly well you don’t care about my crabs.”

“That’s got to be the most cringe-worthy sentence in the history of the English language.”

“Hm?”

“Nevermind.”

“What I don’t understand is if you detest me so much why you invited me to play golf with you this afternoon. And need I remind you we had a perfectly lovely time.”

Jeff groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. “You’re the only person I know who’s free during the day and plays golf.”

Ian stared out the side window and muttered, “I see.”

“Plus you owed me for last time.”

“That was two years ago.”

“Whatever. You got out of it last summer due to your _injury_. But now we’re _even_. I beat you fair and square.” Jeff nodded his head vigorously as he kept his eyes on the road.

Ian leaned back in the seat and sighed. “I don’t keep score. I still say we should celebrate by going to a pub.”

Jeff raised his eyebrows and cast a look in the rearview mirror. He eyed the back of Sophie’s carseat.

He said steadily, “Annie’s at work. I have to watch the munchkin.”

“You could bring her with us.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, even you can’t be that dense. Plus, we just came from my mom’s house. My _mom_. You know, the woman you’re always trying to impress for some goddamn reason. She spent all afternoon with the baby hobbit and actually paid for our golf outing. And now you want to go on a bender?”

Ian shrugged. “I’ve been working on cutting down. We could just have one or two.”

Jeff shook his head. “That doesn’t work that way for you.”

Ian raised his eyebrows as he turned to regard Jeff. “And it does for you?”

Jeff sighed. “I think so. I haven’t had a Scotch in two weeks. And before that, I had _one_ after a particularly difficult workday. And that was it.”

“Easy?”

“Yup.” Jeff shot another look at the rearview mirror. “Hey, can you just take a quick peak back there and make sure she’s okay?”

Ian nodded and leaned back to regard Sophie. “She appears to be sound asleep. There’s also a suspiciously spitty substance dribbling down her chin.”

“Oh just _great._ This might screw up bedtime.”

Ian re-situated himself in his seat and pleaded, “Why don’t you just have _one_ drink with me? Maybe Miss Perry could watch her for an hour. If she’s sleeping it shouldn’t be so bad.”

Jeff frowned. “She’s just sleeping because she likes the movement of the car. And why in hell do you think Britta would watch her? She’s not her nanny.”

“Oh that’s right.   That’s you.”

Jeff rolled his eyes.   “I refuse to be insulted by that. What is the goddamn problem if I take care of her while Annie’s at work? Annie’s with her while _I’m_ at work. We don’t have daycare over the summer.”

Ian held his hands up in a defensive gesture. He let out a low whistle before he responded, “Hold on there, Winger. I didn’t mean it as an _insult_ at all. I was just pointing out this is further evidence of your growing domestication. And that’s not a bad thing. In fact, I think you’re absolutely right that we should continue to cut down our benders. I’m trying to keep my wits about me myself.”

“I don’t want to hear you talk about your penis.”

Ian sighed wistfully. “Well he has been lonely lately. In fact, he…”

Jeff swiftly interjected, “Stop right there!”

“Fine.”

They drove in awkward silence for a few minutes.

“Did I tell you I’ve been taking a yoga class? It’s supposed to be good for _blood flow_.”

“Stop.”

At that moment, Jeff’s phone buzzed. He reached for it, but Ian grabbed it from the center console.

“No need to get into an accident. Let me just see…” He proceeded to regard the screen with intense interest.

“Give that to me.”

“You have a text, my boy. Oh my, it’s the Dean. He has your number? Do we think that’s wise?”

Jeff frowned as he felt his pulse quicken. “What does it say?”

Ian read from the text, “Jeffrey, we have a situation. Something’s wrong with Annie.”

Jeff felt his chest tighten as he reached sideways and grasped the air. “Give me the phone!”

“Tut tut. I can text him back. Tell me what to say.”

“You can’t text worth a damn! Give me my phone!”

“Pull over first!” 

****************************

Jeff jogged into the administration building, Ian trailing him. He had made the snap decision to focus his efforts on the _crisis_ and therefore, perhaps unwisely, put Ian in charge of Sophie.

Ian steadied himself as Sophie tugged at his tie. “Please stop that.”

“ _Dunk-in.”_

“I’m not supposed to drop you. That would be _very bad.”_

“ _Fee NOT bad! Fee do id!”_ She proceeded to yank on his tie.

He let out a grunt as he attempted to keep his eyes on Jeff’s form as he made his way to the Dean’s office. He shuffled after him.

Jeff burst into the administration area, his eyes bulging. “Dean!”

The Dean was sitting at Annie’s desk and fidgeting with a pen. His eyes shot up as Jeff entered. “Jeffrey! You came!” He promptly jumped up, an almost desperate expression on his face.

“Where’s Annie?” Jeff took a frantic look around the area. He spied a startling amount of disheveled piles of paper on the desk as well as two open file drawers with file folders sticking up.

Ian appeared at his side. He had successfully removed his tie and had handed it to Sophie.

The Dean startled for a moment at the sight of Ian. He cleared his throat and addressed Jeff, “She’s in my office.”

“What happened? Is she okay?”

The Dean squeaked out, “I don’t know! She’s been really very _un-Annie-like_ lately. Normally she’s so chipper and _professional_ , but she’s been _snapping_ at me.”

Jeff squinted. “Wait, you said she was sick.”

The Dean threw his hands up in the air and let them fall down and slap his sides. “She has a _migraine_. But she kicked me out of my office and slammed the door! And I’m afraid to go in there! You should have heard the things she said to me after she came back!”

Jeff looked at him in confusion. “Came back?”

“She ran out of here earlier. Just ran out! And I didn’t know what to do! But then she came back and then she _yelled_ at me! And then she tried to _assault_ me!”

“Wait…what?!?”

The Dean rubbed his goatee. “Nevermind. No damage done. I’m willing to forget about that. But it was completely _unprovoked._ ” He cast a sheepish look down at a pile of mail on the table. An iced cherry frappachino was spilled over the bills.

Jeff followed his gaze and then sighed. “You can’t mess with Annie like that.”

“But it was an _accident_. And she’s being completely _unreasonable!”_

Jeff ran a hand over his scruff and took a deep breath. He eyed the closed office door. “I’m going in.”

The Dean clasped his hands together. “Thank you. She’ll listen to you. “

Jeff nodded and carefully opened the door to the Dean’s office and went inside.

Ian turned to regard the Dean. “What the bloody hell is on your face?!?”

“Oh this? I’m trying something new.”

 _“Hi._ ”

“Well hello, Baby Greendale. Your mother is _not_ in the best spirits today. But maybe if she sees your chubby little face she’ll perk up. Or God help us all.” 

*****************************

After Jeff successfully and _quietly_ entered the office, he sat down at the end of the couch.  He surveyed the darkness of the room and noted the blinds were closed.

He whispered, “Annie, are you okay?”

There was a moan.

“Jeff?” Annie uttered weakly as she placed an arm over her eyes.

“The light’s not on.”

“What are you doing here?”

“The Dean called me. We should get you home.”

“But I’m at work.”

Jeff grimaced. He wondered how Annie could even entertain the idea of staying when she clearly was non-functioning. He said evenly, “You’re not working.”

“Just give me a few minutes. I can rally,” she squeaked out.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _What the hell did her parents do to her?_

He mustered up an at-this-moment fib, “The Dean says you can leave for the day and you can have tomorrow off too.”

She moaned again and said softly, “But the bills. He won’t know how to pay them. The ones that aren’t covered in cherry syrup, that is.”

“He’ll be fine.”

“Ugh. Cherry syrup. I’m going to throw up.”

Jeff shook his head and came up with another not-quite-lie, “Ian’s going to assist him after he helps me get you home.”

She muttered, “That’s sweet.”

“Oh you know how Ian is. He always wants to help. He’s the sweetest.” 

*******************************

Much against her weak protests, Jeff insisted on carrying Annie to the Lexus. The Dean smiled in relief, assuring Annie she could take the rest of the week off. He may have emphasized that last part.

Annie had mumbled something about the loss of money, but Jeff was firm with her. Plus he was pretty sure there as no way the Dean wanted to see her for a few more days. He had flinched when Annie reached out to wave goodbye.

After they arrived home, Jeff was again forced to let Ian watch Sophie so that he could attend to Annie. After he got her situated in the bedroom with a sleep mask and a glass of water by her side, he emerged and gave Ian the news that he was to go back to Greendale to help the Dean.

Ian looked up from his spot on the floor in Sophie’s room. He was covered with rainbow stickers, and Sophie appeared pleased.

He pouted. “But I’m not on a bloody contract right now! I’m not teaching the next summer section until mid-July!”

“If you do this for me, I _owe you one_.”

Ian perked up. “Really?”

Jeff grimaced as he nodded.

“It’s a deal.” 

*******************************

Annie stirred as the morning light filtered across the bed. She realized she had knocked the sleep mask to the side.  She felt a dull ache on the sides of her head.

“Hey there, sleeping beauty.”

She held her hand on her head as she turned to see Jeff sitting up in bed. He was on his laptop and a notepad was on the side table.

She grimaced.   “Hey. How long was I out?”

“About sixteen hours. I gave you water periodically but then you just swatted me away.” Jeff reached over and handed her a large glass of water. “Drink this.”

She sat up slowly and accepted the glass from him. She gulped it down and gasped.

“Hey, slow down there. I don’t want you throwing up in our bed.” He closed his laptop and looked at her with alarm.

Annie touched her stomach and groaned. “God, I need to eat something. I _hate_ migraines.”

“I hear they’re not fun.” He took the now empty glass from her and placed it on the table. He shoved a plate over to her with a rice cake on it. “Here. I’m prepared.”

She smiled weakly and picked up the rice cake. As she nibbled she said, “I can’t believe I slept that long. I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? You were sick.”

“I shouldn’t have put you to that much trouble. Really, I’m so embarrassed. I haven’t had a bona fide migraine in awhile. I hate that you saw me like that.”

He scrunched up his face in thought before he remarked, “It was out of your control.”

He watched her tense.

_Shut up, Winger. You know she doesn’t like to be reminded of things like that._

He hastily added, “What I meant was these things happen. And we handled it.” He followed this statement with an affected cockiness, “Plus I got to carry you over the threshold.”

She smiled slightly. “You did. Although it wasn’t how I dreamt it would be.”

He nodded in satisfaction at her smile and playful response. “Just get some rest today. I’ll be around so I can make you something more substantial to eat later if you don’t puke that up on our bed.”

She smirked at him. “I’m just empty now. I think everything’s passing.”

“Good.”

“Thank you.”

He shrugged. “No need.”

She stopped nibbling on the rice cake and looked at him sharply. “Where’s Sophie?” She turned her gaze to the bedside clock. Her eyes widened as she said, “It’s eight!”

He reached over and patted her arm. “She’s at Shirley’s. Lacey was kind enough to come by and get her an hour ago.”

Annie held a hand up to her mouth. “Oh! But their house is so crazy right now with the new baby, we can’t ask that of them!”

He kept his gaze fixed to hers and stated calmly, “Lacey’s on it. The boys are at day camp. Shirley’s handling Ben. And Andre is around too for some reason. Although I could have sworn he was trying to sort out his business situation. But whatever. Point is Sophie’s safe.”

Annie closed her eyes. “I’m supposed to be at work, and Sophie’s supposed to be with you today.”

“Plans changed. I’m taking care of _you_ today.”

“Jeff, you don’t need to…”

“God, sometimes you’re a real pain.”

Her eyes snapped open. “What?!?”

He groaned and reached over to rub her back. “Let me look after you. I want to.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Whatever. Someday I hope you’ll realize I’m actually sincere about some things. Despite my Greendale sarcasm.”

She pushed the plate over to the side and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “You’re sarcastic outside of Greendale too.”

“Not when it comes to _us_.” He placed his laptop on the side table and then scooted closer to her.

“What are you working on?” She leaned over and gestured toward the laptop.

“Just that online class I’m trying to do. You know, so I can graduate early and get back to my real job.”

“How’s it going?”

“I’m a little behind, but I’ll get it done.”

She nodded and resumed touching her head. “Migraine’s gone but there’s just this dull _ache_. Ugh. I hate this. I thought it was just a stress headache but no, this had to happen.”

“It’s no wonder. You still won’t tell me what you two talked about.”

She looked up at him sheepishly. “I’m sorry I’ve been shutting you out.”

He pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. He leaned back against the headboard. “You don’t have to handle everything yourself. My dad left me too, you know. I can relate. And God, if I talked to him on the phone, I’d be a mess. I don’t know exactly what form of a mess, but I think it’s fair to say I would not be _calm and collected_ and just going about my daily business. Something has to give, Annie.”

“You haven’t asked.”

“I’ve been trying to give you space and bring it up when it made more sense. Frankly, I don’t think you’ve been giving me any signals you wanted to talk about it. After my initial attempt, that is. Let me remind you that _did not go over well_.”

She winced at the memory. “Everyone’s afraid of me. Even the Dean.”

The Dean’s afraid of a lot of things. Don’t use him as a gauge.”

“I haven’t been very present with Sophie either over the past few days. Thank you for being there for her.”

Jeff let out a long sigh. “You want to talk about it now?”

She hung her head forward. “It was so strange. I remembered the sound of his voice. In some ways it was like no time had passed.”

“I could understand that.”

“But he said he’s never heard my adult voice. He thought I’d sound like I was twelve.” She laughed bitterly. “But then he said he should have realized. I had a _baby_ and all. He said he knows he messed up. That he abandoned me.” She sniffed and wiped her eye.

“Annie…”

“He blames himself for what happened with me and Adam. He said he should have known that I couldn’t have a healthy relationship with my mom. And he didn’t say why, but he said he wasn’t that surprised about the addiction piece when she told him about it.”

“So he’s giving himself a pity party? That’s not fair to you.”

She shrugged. “I think he’s worried about me.”

“He should be. He’s your father.”

She nodded and continued to look down as she pulled her knees to her chest. “I didn’t want to get too much into it. About my mom and me. I remember them fighting all the time, and I could hear that edge in his voice when we were talking about her. So I switched the subject. I emphasized how things were going now, in the _present_.”

“Probably a good idea.”

“I told him a little bit about Sophie. What she’s like, all the things she’s doing now. I told him about you and how you’ve been so great for us. I told him Sophie and I were safe and that he didn’t need to worry. And of course I emphasized I’ve been responsible with the funds he’s sent. I still don’t want him to think I’m asking for more.”

Jeff grit his teeth. “Annie, goddammit, this is ridiculous. You shouldn’t have to bow down to him like that, you don’t have to let him do that to you.”

She startled and shot her eyes up to his. “That’s not how things are with him. I don’t think you understand. I don’t want his pity. He’s not trying to _control_ me. That’s more Rachel Edelstein Edison’s style.”

Jeff let out a breath. “Okay. But I also don’t think you should concern yourself so much with him _pitying_ you.   You should tell him how you feel.”

“I don’t want to hate him. I’ve missed him.”

“Annie…”

“I have. And it was so _hard_ to hear his voice again. He _left Anthony and me_. It hurt so much.” She began sobbing.

Jeff reached over and wrapped his arms around her. He nuzzled his forehead against hers as she continued to cry. 

*********************************

Jeff sat on the couch and stared at his laptop. He had facebook open and was perusing Annie’s page. He squinted as re-read the message.

“Hey, Happy Birthday to Baby Mountainflower. You’re the best. I hope you’re dancing now. Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

Jeff stiffened and took one of the many deep breaths of his morning.

He supposed it was harmless enough. He hadn’t thought about the hippie in ages. Still, he thought it was strange he was remembering Sophie’s birthday.

_God, that guy was clingy._

He glanced at the hippie’s profile pic and noticed he was smiling lazily with his arm around an equally smelly-looking blonde.

 _Well good, he’s moved on_.

Jeff scrolled through Annie’s friends list and spotted the recent addition of ‘Rebecca Edison,’ which was the name of Annie’s father’s new wife. He noted the profile picture was of an American flag. The profile was otherwise restricted to ‘friends.’

He closed his eyes and counted to ten.

Opening his eyes, he noted the other relatively normal well wishes from the study group and some other Greendale students. Apparently, Troy’s _3 am_ “Happy 2 nd Birthday, Sophie!” had started a cascade of similar greetings:

3:04am – Abed Nadir – Happy Birthday Sophie. I hope you’re getting stronger and can carry a camera pack in the near future. Your mom will read this to you and might misunderstand. Tell her we discussed.

3:30am - Pierce Hawthorne - #Hap

6 am – Shirley Bennett – Happy Birthday to the most precious little girl! We will see you soon, honey!

6:30am – Dorie Winger – Happy Birthday to my darling granddaughter! You are the sunshine of my life. Hank says woof. Houston and Hansel give their regards. The bunnies miss you. Please come over soon and play with them. <3 <3 <3

7am – Holly Tanner – Happy Birthday Sophie from Sam!

7:30am – Rebecca Edison – Happy Birthday Sophie from your grandpa!

7:45 am – Alex Osbourne - hey annie’s kid, happy birthday

8:05 am – Magnitude – Pop Pop!

8:15am – Garrett Lambert – HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIE! I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE 2!!!

8:22 am - Vicki Jenkins – Happy birthday to Soffee. And Hawthorne can’t use fb. He needs to go back to using pigeons.

8:23 am - Neil Goldman – happy bday sophie!

8:35 am – Rich Stephenson – Happy Birthday, Sophie! Why you’ll be reaching so many new milestones very soon! Have a GREAT day!

Jeff rolled his eyes as he scrolled through some additional wishes. _Well at least she doesn’t appear to be friends with Leonard_.

He noted the absence of anything from Adam. He rescrolled through Annie’s friends list and yup, there he was. Jeff continued to play cyber stalker and clicked on the profile.

There was the douche. He had a smug look on his face and was leaning against his Mercedes. Not that Jeff couldn’t relate to liking a nice car, but he _hated_ the guy. He noted there were no photos of Sophie in his photo albums.

In order to regulate his stress level, he went back to Annie’s page and smiled at the profile picture . Annie was behind Sophie and pushing her on a toddler swing. He had taken the photo when they went to a playground earlier in the summer.

He regarded the relationship status information.

“In a relationship with Jeff Winger.”

He clicked back on his own page. Although he did have relationship status (“In a relationship with Annie Edison”), he sat contemplating his profile picture of a landscape. _Maybe I should make some changes._

He closed the laptop as he heard the surprisingly loud pounding, as opposed to _pattering,_ of little feet making their way toward him from the direction of Sophie’s room. He turned to see Sophie dressed post-breakfast in her birthday outfit: a dark pink tutu and sleeveless white shirt with sparkly stars on the front. She was clutching her bear. He let his gaze drift to her feet. Deceptively cute dark pink sandals.

“ _Da-dee! Fee go pay!”_ She proceeded to throw the bear at him. As usual since she had incredible aim, it hit him square on the nose.

He smirked as he picked the bear off his lap. His expression then widened into a grin. “Did you just say _daddy_?”

“ _Da-dee!”_ (with a slight nasal on the a and an elongated e)

She ran over and proceeded to climb onto the couch. He hoisted her up. She then scrambled onto his lap and hugged his torso.

_Well this is bona fide adorable._

“Awwwww!” Snap.

He turned his head and saw Annie standing in the doorway holding her camera.

“You’ve started documenting the day already?”

She beamed at him. “She said _daddy_ , didn’t she?”

He nodded as he let out a breath. “Seems so.”

Annie clasped the camera to her chest and said excitedly, “I mean _Dee Dee_ was cute, but awwww! She’s growing up!”

She proceeded to sniffle as she walked over and joined them on the couch.

He maneuvered a squirming Sophie on his lap and handed her the bear with a kiss.

“When do we have to be at the _Hawthorne Estate/Lotus Mansion/Clue Castle_?”

She rolled her eyes. “Not until noon, so we’ll have plenty of time for her haircut.” She added with a grin, “Do you like her tutu? It’s from Nancy.”

He pinched the netting of the tutu with a smirk. “Yes, it’s adorable. It’s about as great of a gift as that time Nancy tricked us into dating.”

Annie chuckled as they held each other’s gazes for a few moments. She then ducked her head down coyly and attempted to smooth out a crinkle in the front of Sophie’s tutu. She frowned as she remarked, “I don’t know why it’s bunching up like this and not fitting properly. It was all even a few minutes ago.”

Jeff took the opportunity to ask a question he really didn’t want to know. He cleared his throat. “Not to put a damper on today, but when is Adam visiting her for her birthday?”

Annie smiled tightly as she stopped her attempt to straighten out the tutu. She looked up and said, “He asked to see her today, but I told him that wouldn’t work with our plans. We’re trying to arrange another time, but I told him I’d have to check with you.”

“Ahh..”

“Can we please talk about this later? Tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you. I just want this to be a fun day.”

“ _Mama und Da-dee und Fee.”_

Annie smiled and nodded. “That’s right, sweetie. And we’re going to see Troy and Abed and Grandpa Pierce and Britta and Shirley and Andre and maybe the boys if they’re well-behaved. And baby Ben!”

 _“Doy und Bed und Peas und Tit-ta und Lee und Day. Und Bee Bee.”_ She nodded triumphantly as she pulled her baby doll out of the back of her tutu. 

**************************

They went to the salon, where Lauren worked her bi-annual magic. Jeff grinned as he took a photo of Sophie on Annie’s lap.

_“Ooohh! Da-dee go fon! Fee go fon!”_

Lauren tapped his shoulder and motioned for the phone. “Hey, I can get all three of you.”

He shrugged and handed it over before stepping behind Annie and leaning down. Uncharacteristically, he didn’t over think his expression.

As Lauren snapped the pic, it occurred to him it might make a good addition to his fb page.

Sophie’s expression in the photo was one of intense interest as she stared ahead and appeared to reach forward. 

*****************************

The festivities at Hawthorne _Manor_ were a combination of strange, amusing, and at some points oddly enjoyable. At Annie’s urging, Jeff made strong efforts to put aside his memories of Pierce’s attempts to _kill him_ during Paintball.

But that didn’t stop Pierce from glaring at him from time to time as he popped in and out of the mansion.

“Hey, I thought he was out of the group?” Britta took a swig of her beer as she sidled up to Jeff.

He squinted at Pierce from across the back patio. “He’s back in Annie’s good graces. I’ve been instructed to play nice.”

Britta snorted. “So he _is_ back in the group?”

“No clue.”

“But why is this party _here_? I thought it went well at Shirley’s last year.”

“Something about the boys being _hellions_. Apparently they tore up the front yard in an attempt at archeological excavation.” He smirked as he continued, “Mind you, Shirley doesn’t know I know that. Lacey found the whole thing highly amusing. Official story is Shirley wanted to let Pierce make a nice overture to the group.”

Britta nodded as she placed her beer on a small table. “That explains why they’re not here.”

Shirley suddenly appeared at Jeff’s other side. She was holding a drooling Ben facing outward as she muttered, “That old man better behave himself. Something tells me he’s up to no good.”

Jeff nodded and took a swig of beer. “Time will tell, Ladies. Time will tell.” 

*****************************

In the end, the party went fairly smoothly.

“Annie, let her open her own presents.” Jeff gently placed his hand on Annie’s arm before she could begin her usual meticulous process.

Annie’s face reddened as she stammered, “Oh! Um, I guess she could try.”

“I think she’ll be just fine.” Jeff arched an eyebrow as he watched Sophie reach greedily for the first present. Within moments there was paper flying everywhere amidst various squeals of delight.

Most of those were from Sophie.

Jeff shot a look in the direction of Troy.

Sophie was showered with presents of the usual sort from the Greendale Seven. She received a long dark blue puffy dress, toddler combat boots, and a small football. She was also given a baby Lego kit for ‘building various needed objects to provide potential elevation needs or failing that elevate cuteness of an episode as-needed.’

Finally, Pierce, who had been inexplicably hiding in the house during the rest of the gift opening, emerged and handed Annie a small box.

He muttered, “Be careful with it. _You_ should open it inside.” He added in a whisper, “Not in front of _them_.”

Annie tilted her head and regarded him curiously.   She nodded and smiled. “Thank you.”

Pierce shrugged.

Jeff squinted.

As the gang made their way into the house, Annie motioned for Pierce to follow her. She waived Jeff off as he carried Sophie toward the dining room.

Annie closed the door to the library and looked up at Pierce. “Can I open it now?”

He nodded, a blank expression on his face.

She took a moment to watch him but then began to carefully remove the wrapping, noting the satisfaction of being able to do it _properly_ ; there was a dark brown elongated jewelry box underneath.

She lifted the cover to reveal a tiny necklace of tiny pearls against a light blue satin background.

Her eyes shot up to his. “Pierce! You can’t!”

He muttered with hands in his pockets, “Nonsense. It’s already done.”

Annie felt tears begin to well in her eyes. “But it’s too much. Are these _real pearls_?”

“Yup. It’s for a child. Only special occasions of course, perhaps when she gets a portrait done.”

“You didn’t need to do this.”

“I know. But I had it. And it needed a home.”

Her hand stilled on the pearls as she realized the implication of what he had said. She eyed the yellowed paper label inside the box proclaiming the name of a jeweler’s she did not recognize.

She bit her lip and then said, “But whose….”

He waived his hand in the air and cut her off, “Someone who wasn’t meant to be in this realm, turns out. But I knew one day I’d have the chance to give them to a darling child. And Sophie is destined for greatness.”

Annie grabbed Pierce and pulled him in for a hug. 

***********************************

Pierce yanked on Jeff’s arm as he entered the kitchen. He whispered, “Jeffrey, are things still going okay with you and Annie?”

Jeff squinted in annoyance. “Yes. Why? And I just came in here to grab the knife for the cake.”

Pierce nodded thoughtfully. “Good. We can go to my study then while everyone’s occupied.”

Jeff crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not going into any study with you.”

“Now Jeffrey, we have things to discuss, man to man. I need to make sure Annie and Princess Sophie are safe. You and I need to discuss arrangements.”

“Oh hell. No. We. Are. Not. Doing. That.”

Pierce continued unperturbed, “I need to protect her. You understand.”

Jeff groaned. “Pierce. It is not your job to protect her. That’s _my_ job.”

“Who’s going to protect me?”

They both startled and turned to see Annie smiling brightly at them, her hands on her hips.

She perhaps sarcastically fluttered her eyelashes.

Jeff gulped. “Annie, I …”

Pierce began to stammer, “We were…just…you know… contracts….”

Annie arched a brow. “Contracts?”

“Prenups…”

Jeff smacked Pierce in the shoulder. “Why would Annie need a _prenup?_ She doesn’t have any money! And what the _hell_?!?” He turned to Annie and spoke frantically, “You have to believe me I had no idea…”

She broke in, “Oh please. Will you two stop? Thank you both, really. Pierce, I don’t need you to protect me. Sophie and I are fine. But you’re sweet.” She turned to Jeff, “And Jeff, we’ve been over this.”

“I know, I know, you don’t…”

\--“I already know you take care of me. And that’s why I love you.”

She reached up on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek. She then grabbed the knife off the counter, turned away, and skipped off toward the dining room.

Jeff watched her go with a dazed look on his face. He mumbled, “Well okay then.”

Pierce slapped his back. “She’s a pistol, that one.”


	9. Orneriness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff faces some insecurities. And he and Dorie get bitchy.

Jeff firmly shut the apartment door. He closed his eyes as he rested his forehead on the wall and took three deep breaths. His mind flashed to a few minutes prior.

x

x

x 

Adam had bent down to tie his shoes and breezily said to Annie, who was holding Sophie, “Thanks for letting me come over to see her. It was fun.”

Annie cast an uneasy look at Jeff and then smiled brightly. “Of course. We’re glad it all worked out.”

Adam stood and walked over to her. He regarded Sophie with an unreadable expression and patted her on the head.

Sophie turned into Annie’s shoulder and began sucking her thumb as she mumbled, _“Mama.”_

“She didn’t call me _dad_ today.”

Annie looked down as she said, “She did after we asked her to.”

“But not spontaneously.”

Annie’s eyes shot up to his. “I explained that to you when we started this. She doesn’t remember at her age. We’ll just have to keep prompting her when she sees you until she’s a little older.”

Jeff crossed his arms over his chest and watched the interplay between them. He felt the blood pulsing throughout his body.

Adam appeared to nod thoughtfully as he continued to regard Sophie. “Interesting. So she’ll remember me soon? Like when exactly?”

Jeff loudly cleared his throat.

Adam turned and stared at him blankly.

Jeff took a deep breath and said evenly, “It doesn’t work like that. She’ll figure it out when she figures it out. But it’s kind of a stupid thing to get caught up on.”

Adam arched an eyebrow. “Stupid?”

Jeff silently congratulated himself on getting Adam to react. Outwardly, he shrugged. “You’ve never been involved that much with her. Sure, we can have her call you _dad_ and really, that’s fine, but you can’t expect her to make _you feel special_ when you hardly pay any attention to her. At best you’ll be like an uncle to her.”

Annie’s eyes bulged as she let out a squeak.

Jeff avoided her gaze as he held eye contact with Adam.

Adam visibly tensed for a brief second before he blinked a few times and responded in a low voice, “Is that how you want to do this? I hardly think I’ve given you any reason to speak to me that way. I’ve been nothing but cooperative.”

Jeff was conscious of the hairs on the back of his neck. He mentally shook off the awareness as he regarded Adam incredulously. “I’m sorry, how do you figure I’m treating you? I’m pointing out that you have _unrealistic expectations_ for how she’s going to view you.”

“Because you plan on poisoning her against me. And haven’t you handled some divorce cases? How can you _in all good conscience_ do this?”

Jeff’s eyebrows rose as he pondered how Adam even knew about his handling of divorce cases, given that his specialty had been DUI issues and the like.

Adam turned and glanced at Sophie before he addressed Annie in a loud whisper, “And Annie, come on, after what happened with your parents’ divorce. You know your mom did her best to drive a wedge between you and your father. She scared him off. And you know what that did to you.”

Annie squeaked again as she caressed Sophie’s head.

Jeff took a step forward and said firmly, “Okay, okay, knock it off.” He motioned for Adam to come over to him as he said to Annie, “Take her into her room and I’ll see him out.”

“Okay. Sweetie, say bye-bye to dad.”

 _“Bye-bye.”_ Sophie gave a half-hearted wave and then stuck her thumb back in her mouth.

“Bye Sophie.”

Annie nodded at Adam and then scuttled out of the room.

Jeff and Adam watched them go and then faced each other with tense expressions.

Jeff re-crossed his arms in an attempt to avoid punching the jerk. He cleared his throat once more and then said, “No one is trying to _poison_ her against you. Annie’s made a lot of accommodations for you, and you know that. Stop trying to guilt her.”

Adam regarded Jeff curiously. “ _Guilt_ her? How do you figure?”

Jeff sighed. “Your not-so-subtle comparisons to her mother.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“You know what, nevermind. Just go.”

Adam nodded. “I’m really sorry. You’re right. How can I expect Sophie to remember me? I know I don’t see her that often.”

Jeff tensed as he readied himself for the next shoe to drop.

Adam continued, “Annie I and realized she wasn’t ready for overnight visits this past winter, but she’d probably be okay soon, right? Now that I didn’t get into graduate school this round, I’ll be in the area. I could take her for a night here and there. I’m sure you two could use a break from her, and Sophie and I can get to know each other better. Win-win.”

Jeff attempted to keep his face impassive but wasn’t sure if he was succeeding. He gulped down the bile coming up his throat and then said evenly, “She’s a little young for that. My understanding was that you and Annie discussed waiting until she was three or four. We can revisit it then.”

“I don’t know. Maybe if we do it sooner she’ll get used to it.”

Jeff squinted at him in annoyance. “I hardly think so. She has enough issues sleeping in her own room away from Annie. And I don’t even know where you live or with _whom_ you live.”

Adam shrugged. “I have a roommate, but he’s never around. I’ll be in touch. We can try it out.”

Jeff began to quickly strategize while keeping a calm expression. His years of being an albeit fake lawyer had given him plenty of time to hone this skill.

He said carefully, “I don’t think so. I’d hardly trust any _roommate_ you may have, even if he’s never around. God, I’m starting to get the impression all of the people you and Annie hung out with are _horrible_.”

Adam cocked his head to the side. “Huh?”

 _That got his attention_.

_I hope Troy forgives me for this next one._

Jeff continued with a disdainful tone, “Like that _asshole_ Troy Barnes. He goes to college with Annie and pops up here now and then. He says he’s real chummy with you. And that guy’s obviously a complete loser.  I don’t know why Annie insists on staying friends with him.”

He watched as a smirk formed on Adam’s face. “Hey, that kid’s all right. He was always such an _eager_ student. Very straightforward. No deception involved with him. Unlike _some people_ who get suspended from the Colorado Bar.”

Jeff almost let out a laugh at the transparency of it all. He had no more doubts that Adam had thoroughly investigated him.

_But at least he thinks Troy is harmless and gullible._

_Wait, that’s true._

Jeff shook his head and said, “That’s irrelevant. And Annie knows everything; so let’s get back to the subject. You are not taking Sophie for overnights.”

Adam pursed his lips and then nodded as he said, “I get that you’re Annie’s boyfriend, but this is something _Annie and I_ need to decide.”

“And Annie agrees with me.”

Adam appeared to ponder this information for a few moments before he met Jeff’s gaze and held it steady. He said, “You know she’s not even twenty one, right? Have you thought about how _creepy_ this little arrangement looks to others?”

Jeff maintained his composure and took a deep breath before he responded, “And do you know how _creepy_ it is for teachers to sleep with their students?”

Adam let out a low laugh.   “Good one. Look, I’m sure she’ll get your _input_ , but legally, I’m Sophie’s father and Annie is her mother. And that’s just the way it is. My lawyer will be in touch with next steps. See you later.”

With that, Adam had waived a goodbye and sauntered out the door.

Jeff was proud of himself that he didn’t punch him.

But he was playing a longer game.

x

x

x 

He opened his eyes and pushed away from the wall. He looked down, realizing he had been clenching his fists.

He made his way into Sophie’s room and watched as Annie sat in the rocking chair and flipped through pages of a picture book with Sophie on her lap.

Annie’s eyes shot up as he entered.

“Is he gone?”

Jeff ran his hand over his scruff. “Yeah.”

“Good. I know that was a little tense at the end there, but all in all I think the visit went okay. We should do something fun now and forget about it.”

Jeff leaned on the doorframe and regarded her thoughtfully. He didn’t really feel it was the right time to bring up what Adam had just said. He also wasn’t sure if he actually meant it. Likely it was simply more posturing and he had no intention of asking for overnights. He couldn’t even picture what Adam would even do with Sophie. He hardly knew her.

_But what if it’s not a bluff? What if he insists on it?_

“Jeff?”

“Yeah. Let’s move on.”

He made a mental note to give Troy a call. 

**********************************

They made it through Sophie’s birthday celebrations, which included Pierce’s party and Adam’s visit.

And a tricycle, courtesy of Dorie Winger.

Jeff glanced down at the red bike and frowned.

“How the hell am I supposed to fit this thing in the trunk?”

Annie laughed as she reached over and turned it on the side. “There, it fits.”

“Nope. I won’t be able to close it. See?” He pushed the trunk door down and it banged the wheel.

Annie smiled nervously. “We could put it on the floor in the backseat. Or it would probably fit in the trunk if we took the wheels off.”

At the thought of his back floor interior being mired in muddiness, he exclaimed, “Yes! Let’s take those suckers off.”

Annie shook her head. “Only if we know how to put them back on. She’ll be crushed if we get home and she can’t ride. Did you see her face?”

“How could anyone miss it?”

“She was so cute.”

“Annie, it’s ridiculous my mom gave her a tricycle. She can’t even reach the pedals. We’re just going to have to keep pushing her.”

Annie mock pouted and fluttered her eyelashes. “But she loves it when you push her.”

Jeff groaned as he hoisted the bike under his arm and strolled toward the garage. He called over his shoulder, “Hobllerina and her bike. The tutu _she’s now wearing everyday_ was a nice touch.”

Annie yelled after him, “You love the tutu! It’s sweet!” 

**************************

Of course just because they handled the birthday celebrations didn’t mean they were _off the hook_ , as Jeff phrased it, for going to Uncle Lou and Aunt Ellen’s cookout. Jeff’s newfound skill of removing and reinstalling the wheels on Sophie’s tricycle came in handy, as she had insisted they bring it with them.

Jeff groaned. “I can’t believe I’m letting a two year old boss me around.”

Annie rose on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “You love it when she bosses you around.”

He squinted at her and sighed. “I only like it when one Edison woman tells me what to do.”

Annie broke out in a blush as she looked down and began to fidget with the buttons on his shirt. She mumbled, “Well, you are very good at taking _instruction_.”

He smirked and wrapped his hands around her waist. He placed his mouth near her ear and said with a growl, “That last thing _Hector_ taught me was particularly interesting.”

He lifted his head back so that he could watch her face change from pink to red.

She stammered, “Well maybe if you’re _nice_ to your family, we can work on some other things tonight.”

He leaned down again and she stretched up just enough so that they could begin to kiss slowly.

_“Mama! Da-dee! Fee go bike!”_

They startled and looked down to see Sophie sitting in her stroller. She was gesturing pleadingly toward the tricycle as it sat on the ground next to their feet.

“I almost forgot she was there.”

Annie stopped her hand mid-swat as she became conscious of Sophie’s eyes on them.

There was a whimper.

_“Da-dee, Fee wan go bike.”_

Jeff disentangled his arms from around Annie and knelt down. He ducked his head so that he was eye level with Sophie.  He looked into her over-sized sunglasses as he said, “I know, munchkin. But first we have to _dissect_ it. You can have your peasants push you soon.”

“ _Okay.”_  

**************************

The cookout went fairly well, all things considered. Jeff made efforts to _be nice_ while Annie and Sophie were more social with his family. He had to admit having Annie and the baby hobbit in his orbit took some pressure off him in that regard.

Dorie plopped down next to him on a garden bench and handed him an iced tea.

He regarded it suspiciously from behind his designer shades. “Um, thanks?”

“You’ll like it. It’s not too sweet.”

He nodded as he held the glass without sipping. “Are you happy now? We made it.”

“Yes, dear, that was very decent of you. Sophie seems to be having a nice time.”

Jeff stared off at Sophie and Sam a couple yards away as they appeared to intensely investigate Sophie’s tricycle. Sam then left for about thirty seconds and returned with a blue tricycle, loudly proclaiming it was _his_ bike.

Dorie chuckled as she watched them. “I love the tutu.”

“She’s been wearing it every day. It’s getting ridiculous.” He suppressed a smile and then began to take a sip of tea.

Dorie nodded. “Where did she get those adorable combat boots?”

Jeff almost spit out his tea as he attempted to compose himself. “Those? Our friend Britta gave them to her. That’s kind of how Britta dresses. Not the tutu part. The boots. But god help us if she turns out like her.”

Dorie looked at him with confusion. “But Annie speaks very highly of Britta.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Oh Britta’s a great person, it’s just that she’s always trying to save the world, or at least a _cat_. And don’t get me started on her vegetarianism. Or her weird political ideas.”

Dorie’s eyes twinkled.

Jeff continued, “She needs to get her own life together before she tells everyone else what to do.”

Dorie nodded sagely as she patted his arm. “I suppose it’s best if people not tell others what to do. There’s way too much judgment in the world as it is.”

He groaned. “Goddammit, mom. Fine. I’m sorry I was sounding judgmental.”

“Britta’s your friend. Maybe you should apologize to _her_.”

“Christ.”

Dorie smirked as she said, “Anyway, let’s talk about something more pleasant. I can’t wait to show you the new color of the sewing room.   It’s a light coral.”

Jeff inwardly rolled his eyes as he felt a cloak of boredom descend upon him.

Dorie watched him begin to shut off as she continued, “I was thinking it could be Sophie’s room when you visit so you and Annie could have some, um, _privacy._ ”

He startled. “Privacy? Um, mom, we don’t need…”

She patted his arm again as she said, “Yes, you do. And Sophie’s getting to be such a big girl now.”

“She’s short.”

Dorie smirked.   “And she has her own room at home, so I think she can have her own space at my house.”

Jeff watched a smug expression fill his mother’s face. He said with a feigned nonchalant demeanor, “We’re not going to _do anything_ in my childhood bedroom.”

Dorie put on her best innocent expression. “Really? You never have?”

She stared him down.

He felt his face redden. “Mom!”

“Dear, please don’t be like that. We got through the _sex talk_ when you were younger, didn’t we?”

“Oh Christ! See, this is why I …..”

She interjected somberly, "I'll make it all cozy for her and I can put my sewing supplies in the closet when she visits.”

He sighed. “Thanks, mom.”

Dorie suddenly turned toward him and said, “Now let’s get you to hold Braden.”

Jeff stiffened as he lurched back on the bench. “Hell no.”

“Jeffrey, what is wrong with you? This is Holly’s new baby. He’s a cousin of some sort to you, but really he’s more of a _nephew_.”

He continued to tense as he shook his head. “You know I don’t hold babies. I never held Sam.”

Dorie appeared to take in a deep breath before she said, “That’s not true. I’ve seen you hold Sophie. Why I first saw you with her when she wasn’t even five months. And you seemed to be doing just fine.”

Jeff sighed. “I don’t hold _newborns_.”

“Babies are considered _newborns_ until they’re three months. Surely you held Sophie before then.”

Jeff tensed even further as he turned to look at his mother. “Nope. I met her when she was like eight weeks but I didn’t hold her until she was three months.”

Dorie’s mouth fell open. “Why on earth not?”

He shrugged as he sipped his tea. “The baby hobbit was even _hobbitier_ and _babier_ back then. I mostly just helped Annie carry all her crap around.”

He watched as Sophie placed her bear on the tricycle and proceeded to push it.

“Well then, we’ll just have to remedy the situation.” Dorie stood and began to yank on his arm.

“Mom! I haven’t even held our friend Shirley’s kid who was born in May.”

Dorie let go of him and gasped. “Jeffrey! Wasn’t that sweet baby born _right in front of you_?!?”

He pointed his index finger in the air as he said, “That was _not_ by choice. Trust me, Shirley and I have an agreement to pretend I wasn’t in the room.”

He looked at her defiantly through his sunglasses.

Slapping her thighs, she blurted out, “Fine,” and abruptly walked off toward the house.

Jeff groaned as he placed his tea on the side table. He leaned onto the backboard of the bench and closed his eyes.

Within minutes he was being jostled on the shoulder. He uttered, “Hm?” as a warm squirming creature was placed in his arms.

His eyes popped open and he looked down. “Mom!”

Dorie eyed him mischievously as she positioned his arm under Braden’s neck and head and slowly removed her hands so that she could pull up a chair.

“You’re fine, see? Isn’t he adorable? Just keep him in a cradle position.”

Jeff stared at Braden as the baby yawned. He muttered, “Hey kid.”

Dorie smiled as a befuddled Jeff adjusted the baby in his arms. “This is very nice of you to do. It will mean a lot to Holly.”

He rolled his eyes.

At that moment, Annie and Holly appeared almost out of nowhere in a fit of giggles.

“Aunt Dorie, how did you do it?” Holly was watching Jeff with intense fascination.

“Do what, dear? Jeff wanted to hold Braden but was too shy to say so.”

Jeff took a deep breath and mumbled, “Mom.”

Annie and Holly exchanged bemused looks. Annie leaned over from behind the bench and kissed the side of Jeff’s cheek. She whispered into his ear, “Don’t call him _Brad_.”

He smirked.

She said in a slightly more audible tone, “Isn’t he sweet?”

“Yeah.”

“Awww.”

Jeff squinted at the baby. “He looks about the size of Sophie when I first met you guys.”

Annie grinned and began to lightly run a hand against Jeff’s shoulder. “He’s six weeks but I think Sophie was a little smaller at his age. So you’re probably right. She was probably about this size when you met her.”

Jeff let out a quick laugh. “That’s not surprising. “ He addressed Braden as the kid stared up at him, “Nice teddy bear onesie, kid.”

Annie exchanged a look with Holly. “Jeff, that’s the outfit _we_ gave him.”

Jeff’s eyebrows rose. “Oh.” He continued to cradle Braden somewhat awkwardly to one side.

“I can’t believe my cousin Jeff is actually holding one of my _babies_!” Holly exclaimed loudly.

Sophie, who had been in the middle of a heated ‘exchange’ with Sam near their bikes, snapped her head in their direction. Her eyes landed on Jeff and Braden.

Jeff’s eyes widened as he saw her charge toward them, a fierce expression on her face.

“ _No! Bee bee! Fee da-dee!”_

“Holy Crap.” Jeff instinctively turned his body inward to move Braden out of the way as Sophie slammed into his knees.

She continued shrieking, “ _Da-dee!”_

The shrieking rapidly devolved into sobbing.

Annie quickly moved over to Sophie and picked her up. “Sweetie, it’s okay.”

“Holly, maybe I should give him back to you.”

Suddenly Sam appeared by Jeff’s side. He was eyeing Braden suspiciously. He leaned forward and grabbed at Braden’s hands as he said, _“My baby.”_

Jeff looked frantically over to Holly as he mouthed silently, “What do I do?”

She laughed as she looked to Dorie who promptly inserted herself into conversation with Sam.

“Now dear, let’s not grab him. He’s _breakable_.”

Sam’s eyes widened. _“Oh no.”_

“It’s okay, dear. Why don’t you show me your bike?”

With that, Dorie took Sam’s hand and escorted him away.

Annie stood holding Sophie to her shoulder and petting her head. “Shhh…it’s okay. Daddy loves you. He’s just holding baby Braden. He’ll hold you soon.”

_“Fee wan Da-dee.”_

Jeff sighed as he caught Holly’s eye.

She scooted next to him on the bench and motioned for Braden. “You’ve done your duty, Jeff. Hand him over.”

Jeff raised his eyebrows as he carefully transferred Braden to her. “Duty?”

“It means a lot to your mom. She’s always trying to socialize you.”

Jeff frowned. “Oh, please. I’m plenty social.”

Holly snorted as she cradled Braden. “ _Anyway_ , I don’t really think you have anything to prove. As long as you can handle Sophie, who cares if you hold my kids, you know?”

Jeff smiled.   “Hey, yeah. Exactly.”

“Well yeah.”

“Do you have any beer?”

Annie cleared her throat as she rocked Sophie, who was now merely whimpering, back and forth on her hip. “Jeff, your mom.”

He turned to look at her sheepishly. “Oh, right. Nevermind.”

Holly laughed. “I’m sure Matt can hook you up with one. This isn’t your mom’s house, remember? Heck, none of us care how much you have to drink, within reason.”

Jeff appeared to ponder this as a broader smile began to creep across his face. “Hey, Annie, we should come over here more often for family stuff.”

Annie tilted her head to the side and looked at him incredulously.

He shrugged and then motioned for Sophie. “Toss her over and put her out of her misery.”

Annie sighed loudly as she walked over and gave Sophie to him.

 _“Da-dee?”_ Sophie smiled weakly up at him.

“You’re good, munchkin. You’re my baby.”

 _“Fee bee bee.”_ She threw her body back so that she was lying across his lap.

He squinted at her. “You’re cute enough to keep this up for a little while.”

Sophie giggled as she kicked a combat-boot laden foot at his shoulder.

He leaned over and gave her a series of kisses on her cheeks.

_“Da-dee, kith kith.”_

Holly watched the display and then said to Annie, “I don’t know how many credits you need to finish your degree, but when you’re done you guys should move to Denver.”

Annie and Jeff exchanged questioning looks.

Annie pulled over a chair and sat down. She appeared to steady herself before she said calmly, “Actually, I have two more years left.”

Holly frowned. “I guess I didn’t realize you were that far away from finishing. Although I suppose having Sophie slowed you down a little in there.” She turned to look lovingly down at Braden in her arms.

Annie smiled nervously as she looked at Jeff and then back at Holly, “Um, not really.   I had her before I started.”

Holly glanced up and regarded Annie curiously. “Wait, then what were you doing before that? I just assumed you were going to school.”

“I was.”

“Hm?”

Annie cleared her throat. “I was at Riverside High School, but I dropped out the December before I was going to graduate. I got my GED instead and then enrolled in college after Sophie was born.”

Holly’s expression changed from one of confusion to incredulity. “Oh my god.”

Jeff tensed. “Holly.”

“I thought you were like twenty-five.”

Annie grimaced. “I’ll be twenty-one in December.”

Holly involuntarily let out a gasp. “Oh! Um….” She looked back and forth between Jeff and Annie.

Jeff sighed and then said irritably, “Yes, yes, we know. There is a bit of an age difference. But you already knew that. So cut it out.”

Holly turned completely to him as she cringed. “I’m sorry, okay? You guys caught me off guard. I just assumed she was a little older.”

Jeff placed a kiss on Sophie’s boot as she shoved it in his face. As he continued to maneuver her, he said tersely, “Well you were wrong.”

Holly turned back to Annie and said sheepishly, “I’m sorry, really.”

Annie shrugged. “It’s okay, I would have thought the same thing. But just so you know, Jeff and I have talked about it. And in a few years it won’t even matter as much.”

Jeff mumbled, “It doesn’t matter now.”

Annie smiled reassuringly over to him. She then said to Holly, “And I guess I should tell you something else, too. It’s part of my recovery that I be honest with people. And I guess I’ve been avoiding it because we don’t really know each other that well.”

Holly raised an eyebrow. “Recovery?”

Annie nodded. “Yes. You should know I’m in recovery for a drug addiction.”

Holly paled.

Jeff watched as Annie maintained her composure, keeping a steady gaze at Holly. She explained, “I’ve been clean ever since I found out I was pregnant with Sophie. I went through rehab, and I still go to NA meetings.”

Holly appeared to let out a breath. She shot a quick look at Jeff.

He shrugged. “Yup.”

She turned back to Annie and bobbed her head. “Er, wow. I mean, good for you. God, Annie…”

Annie waived the air. “I’m fine. And you don’t have to worry about anything. Jeff can attest to it. I made some stupid mistakes and I learned from them. And yes, Dorie knows.”

Holly continued to nod absentmindedly. “Right. God, sorry guys. Um, I made this awkward. Did I make this awkward?”

Jeff grimaced. “Not anymore than before.”

Annie glared at him and then addressed Holly, “I want to get some work experience before I try for my masters. I was thinking Denver would be a good place to go for school, so maybe we’ll move there before then. We could be closer to you and Jeff’s mom.”

Holly, clearly still shaken, smiled politely. “That would be nice.”

Jeff continued to rock Sophie, who was now sucking her thumb. He stole a glance with Annie.

She looked relieved. 

********************************

After they put Sophie down for the night, Annie waltzed over to Jeff and handed him a glass of wine. She sat down next to him on the couch with her own glass and held it aloft.

“To getting through family time.” She motioned for him to clink his glass to hers.

He did.

They both took a sip.

Jeff frowned as he placed his glass on the coffee table. “Why the wine?”

Annie tilted her head to the side. “Why not? I thought you’d want to unwind. I know how much being with your family stresses you out.”

He said tersely, “I can unwind without alcohol, you know.”

She shrugged as she took another sip and twirled her glass. Looking at it she said, “You and your mom were really getting into it earlier before she kidnapped Braden. Holly and I were watching you two through the kitchen window.”

He groaned. “That was nothing.”

She laughed. “You were _gesticulating_.”

“Whatever.”

“And she was _pulling_ on you.”

“It wasn’t a big deal.”

“And then she came into the house and said you were being _bitchy_ again. You should have seen her face when she got her hands on Braden.”

He rolled his eyes.

She giggled as she took a deeper sip.

“Hey, slow down there.”

She looked up at him with a smile. “What? Are you _worried_ about me?” She fluttered her eyelashes. “I’m _almost_ twenty-one.”

He leaned forward on his knees and clasped his hands together. As he stared into space, he asked, “Are we _creepy_?”

Annie continued to laugh as she replied, “Oh please. Don’t let Holly get to you. Although it was hilarious, wasn’t it? She was so _shocked_. And I probably should tell her what I was addicted to. Can you imagine how she’ll react when I tell her about the _cocaine_?”

Jeff’s eyes widened as he turned to her. “Annie. Please. Stop.” He reached over and gently took the glass from her and placed it on the table.

She scowled at him. “I’m not _drunk_. I just had a few sips.”

“That’s not what I meant. We should talk about what happened.”

“Hm?” She grabbed an elastic off her wrist and began to pull her hair back in a high ponytail.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.” She pulled her hair up tightly with a smile.

He looked at her skeptically. “Really? Cause I know you and Holly have been getting friendly. And Sam and the munchkin play well together, and you seem to be taken with _Brad_ , and, um, it must have hurt a little when she reacted that way.”

Annie swept a piece of loose hair behind her ear. “She was surprised. I don’t think she reacted badly.”

He sighed. “She didn’t exactly give us her ringing endorsement.”

Annie continued to grin as she lightly punched his shoulder. “She doesn’t need to. She’ll just have to accept it.”

He let out a long sigh. “I guess.” He watched her out of the corner of his eye as he asked softly, “Why did you tell her about the drugs today?”

She swatted the air. “To get it over with. I’ve known I should tell her for a while now, but there’s never been a good time.   Part of living with what I’ve done is to be forthright with people. So, I guess that’s why.”

They were silent for some moments.

“So you don’t think we’re _creepy_ with our age difference?”

Annie let out a laugh. “You’re being ridiculous. No, of course not.”

He gulped. “Am I taking advantage of you?”

Annie’s eyes opened wide. She grabbed his arm and turned him to face her. “Absolutely not! What is wrong with you?!?”

“Okay, okay. I just needed to know.” He winced.

“Jeff…”

He looked down and watched her hand massage his arm. He gulped again before he asked, “Did you tell your father about our age difference?”

“Why does that matter?”

He looked up at her. “You didn’t.”

She took a moment to steady herself before she replied, “No, I didn’t tell him.”

“See?”

She smacked his arm. “That’s not because I think we’re _creepy_! It’s because I figured he wouldn’t understand. And it took a lot out of me to talk to him about other things. But I _will_ tell him, when it seems appropriate. I told him all about you with the exception of your age.”

Jeff nodded and then took a deep breath. He hesitated for a few beats before he asked, “You told him about my suspension?”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, no, not that. Again, that’s only because he wouldn’t understand….”

He interjected, “You know, I still haven’t told Holly or the rest of my family about my suspension.”

She smiled softly as she said, “I know.”

He picked up his wine glass and took a big gulp before placing it back on the table.

She eyed him with tenderness and scooted over to him. As she nudged her head against his shoulder, she said, “You’ll tell them when you’re ready, or um, even if you think you should. They probably don’t need to know.”

He wrapped an arm around her and mumbled into her hair, “But see, I’m with this incredibly _mature_ almost-twenty-one-year-old who fesses up to her crimes. And I’m an old crinkled _immature_ douche who could learn a thing or two from his lady.”

“Jeff…”

He stared at the ceiling. “God, I should tell them.”

“Maybe let them absorb what I confessed today. I told her she could tell the others.”

“You don’t know my family very well. She was going to tell them anyway. The only reason my mom’s been discreet is because she adores you.”

“She hasn’t told them about your suspension.”

“Well, she adores me too.”

Annie grinned into his chest. “She does.”

He caressed her hair for a minute in silence.

Eventually Annie reached across her body and took his other hand. “Your mom is doing us another big favor soon. We should talk about our vacation.”

He chuckled. “You mean your severely delayed birthday present?”

She sighed wistfully. “I’m just happy we’re going away together before the semester starts. It will be a good way to end the summer.”

Jeff leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

“Yeah. Who knows? Maybe I’ll actually relax.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, “Limpness, Crabs, and Veggies” has been posted as a supplemental chapter for those interested in that storyline (“Poor Judgment” Series)
> 
> (characters: Duncan, Dorie, Britta, oh my!)


	10. Relaxation Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie and Jeff go on vacation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut (explicit) and probably unhealthy doses of fluff

Jeff held a giggly Dora the Explorer pajama-clad Sophie as he leaned over and peered at a light pink post-it note on the counter.

_For my grouch._

He smiled at the plate of chocolate chip cookies.

“Annie, Annie. You know you can’t fatten me up,” he muttered to himself as he carefully pushed the plate over to the side in an attempt to hide it behind the toaster.

Sophie whined as she saw him move the cookies away.

It now made sense to him what Annie had been doing in the middle of the night. He heard her get up, but when he went to investigate she had shooed him off, saying she was merely _wired_ and that she was hungry. He had gone back to bed with a shrug.

As he moved the plate, he noticed another pink post-it underneath. He squinted at it while repositioning Sophie in his arms.

_You are terrible. Just eat one. You’ll live._

He let out a quick laugh.

“Mommy’s the one who’s terrible.”

He grabbed the note from its stuck place on the counter and found another one underneath. This time it was light purple.

_I love you. xoxo, Annie_

He felt the now familiar warmth spread through his chest as he carefully removed the note and joined it with the other two. He took Sophie into their bedroom and placed her on the bed. She promptly grabbed her bear and the small bowl of cheese crackers still sitting there, leftover from Jeff’s earlier attempts to calm her down that morning after Annie had left for work.

Jeff grabbed the remote and turned on the television.

“Here you go, munchkin. Cartoons. Daddy needs to do something.”

Sophie turned her attention to the screen while popping a cracker in her mouth.

Satisfied that she was properly distracted, he entered the walk-in closet. He glanced back once to make sure she hadn’t managed to fall off the bed before he reached for a medium-sized dark purple box on the top shelf. He pulled it down and lifted the lid.

He smiled satisfactorily as he eyed the contents:

One pair of lace panties

One blindfold

One ripped light blue negligee

Three cards: birthday, anniversary, and father’s day

One pile of post-it notes

He added the most recent three notes to the pile, making sure the _I love you_ was on top.

He took one last wistful look at the panties before deciding it was not the moment to linger. He closed the lid and placed the box back on the shelf. He reflected on how _damn smart_ Annie was and how even after the embarrassing spectacle several months ago of her finding his original box she had remained classy about the whole thing.

And setting fire to the box at Greendale afterhours had been kind of thrilling.

And watching Annie watch it burn allowed him to be at peace with the whole thing. She thoroughly enjoyed herself.

Did he mention it was sexy?

Which led to _other things_ , which led to the ripped negligee.

He grinned as he re-entered the bedroom, not surprised at all that Sophie remained fixed to the spot where he put her.

“Hey munchkin, let’s have a cookie.”

_“Yay.”_

**************************

Annie hummed as she neatened the stack of mail on the Dean’s desk.

_I hope Jeff allowed himself a cookie._

She had been giddy the previous night in anticipation of their trip. She glanced up at the clock. Two hours until vacation. Well, she supposed, it would start once they got to the resort, which would be tomorrow. But they were leaving for Denver right after she got done with work that day. The plan was to stay at Dorie’s overnight so Sophie would feel more comfortable before they left her there for the weekend. They wanted to make sure she felt as stable as possible so that she wouldn’t feel abandoned.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me.” The Dean hunched forward in his chair, a sullen look on his face.

Annie started to roll her eyes but stopped herself and pulled up a chair. She smiled with sympathy. “You’ll be fine.”

“No, I won’t.” Sniff.

“I’ll only be gone for one day.”

“But you’re gone tomorrow, which is Friday. I won’t see you until Tuesday. That’s _five days_ from now.”

She nodded as she began to tap her purple pen on the desk. “I’m never here on Mondays, and I’m not here on the weekends. _You’re_ not here on the weekends.” She suddenly stopped and looked at him with concern, “Um, you’re not, are you?”

He swatted the air. “No, but what if you don’t come back?”

“Hm?”

“What if you decide you like Lake Estes so much that you decide to go _live_ there? I bet there’s an Estes Park Community College. And then you’ll become their star student and number one administrative assistant. I don’t know what I’d do.”

She resumed smiling sweetly as she said, “I promise I’ll come back.”

He looked at her with puppy dog eyes. “Pinky swear?”

“Yes, pinky swear.”

She held out her finger to the delight of a much-relieved Dean. 

**********************************

Annie turned to Jeff as they began to pull out of Dorie’s driveway.

“Do you think she’ll be okay? I miss her already.”

Jeff stopped the car, sighed, and patted her hand. “She’ll be fine. My mom’s watched her overnight before, remember? She didn’t even notice we were gone.”

Annie shook her head. “You know that’s not true. And this time it’s for _two_ nights. What if she freaks out? We’ll be an hour and a half away.”

He pulled down his sunglasses and looked at her intently. “My mom is a toddler-whisperer. She will make sure she is occupied with various creatures and messy projects. And if all else fails, she’ll bribe her.”

“Jeff!”

He grinned as he brought his shades back down and proceeded to drive down the road. 

**********************************

They were able to enjoy themselves on the drive, taking turns dissecting the Dean’s reaction to Jeff picking Annie up after work the previous day so they could get a start on their vacation weekend. Jeff maintained he was oblivious to the Dean’s lingering stares at his toned arms while Annie was adamant she didn’t see the connection between the Dean’s clinginess and her, as Jeff phrased it, ‘continued enabling of his ineptitude.’ Annie had swatted him and explained it was her _job_ to enable the Dean.

“He needs to develop _secure attachment_ , Annie. You leave and come back. He makes whatever asinine mistakes he’ll make, but he functions on his own.”

“And then he can come back to me if he’s scared.”

“Well, yeah, that’s called being a _secure attachment base_.”

“I see you _learned_ a few things in your child development class last semester.”

“Dammit.”

After a while they arrived at the resort. Although Jeff had initially picked the place, Annie did her due diligence in researching the various resort amenities, room options, nature activities, and dining choices.

She slid a piece of paper over to Jeff while they waited at the front desk.

He looked at her curiously. She was smiling coyly.

“What’s this?”

“You’ll see.” She blushed and began to fidget with the hem of her skirt.

Intrigued, he lifted up the paper to read it. He let out a stunted laugh. “Annie!”

“What? Did I make an error?” She looked genuinely surprised at his reaction as she scooted closer to him and attempted to peer past his arm.

“This is a color-coded itinerary.”

“Of course. What’s wrong?”

“We’re on vacation. I’ll be damned if I’m following an itinerary. And you call _me_ a control freak.”

She began to pout. “You are. I’m merely organized. And efficient.”

“One is not supposed to be efficient on vacation, in fact, I think….” He stopped speaking as she pointed to item number five on the agenda.

His eyes widened as he watched her stare up at him with feigned innocence.

“You put _that_ on the schedule?”

She shrugged and continued to look at him with a calm expression. “I wanted to make sure we didn’t get so caught up in relaxing that we forgot.”

“Are you serious?” He gulped.

She began to giggle.

At that moment, a front desk worker approached and began to ask Jeff about their reservation. Jeff attempted to compose himself as he was conscious of Annie biting a knuckle and turning away from him.

He heard stifled laughter.

“Sir?”

He consciously brought his eyes back down to normal size as he turned to face the man. “Oh, sorry. Yeah, reservation’s under Winger. Two room king suite.” 

***************************

After Jeff tipped the bellboy and re-entered the room, Annie ran up and swatted him.

“You spent too much money! This place is way too nice.” She looked up at him with a glare.

He smirked and lightly grabbed her hand before she could continue. He pulled her in to him and placed a light kiss on her lips.

“You deserve it.”

She blabbered on, “But how can you afford it? You know, we should probably talk about money. I know you might not feel comfortable, but since we’re living together, we should be more open about it. I did the monthly budget, but I can show you my accounts and Adam’s payments, and maybe I could take a look at…”

He cut her off with another kiss.

“Mmmmpffff.”

He laughed and pulled back. “I didn’t quite catch that, but that’s fine. Let’s make a rule: no talking about stuff like that on this trip. But yes, I agree with you, we should probably show each other everything if we’re going to seriously do the living together thing.”

She squinted. “I _am_ serious.”

“So am I.”

She bit her lip as she said, “You’ll let me look at your accounts and paychecks? I’m good with money.”

He nodded. “Yes. But let’s do that when we get home. Can we take a minute to enjoy this?”

“But how did you afford it?”

He closed his eyes with a pained expression. “I have some funds.”

“From the sale of your condo?”

“Yes.”

“But you can’t spend it on me. You’ll need it.”

He groaned. “Annie, what the hell else would I spend it on? You’re the most important thing, um, person to me.”

He watched as classic Annie-awww tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Are you okay?” He reached to wipe some of them away.

She sniffed. “Yeah. But just don’t make it too much. I get nervous. I don’t want you to run out of money.”

He rolled his eyes and promptly bent down and lifted her in his arms.

“Jeff!”

He grinned giddily at her shocked expression. “Goddammit, we are enjoying ourselves. This…” He spun around twice before coming to a stop, “is a lake view two bedroom suite, with fireplace, jacuzzi, balcony, and a king size bed. And we can go on a hike, or kayaking, or elk/bear/duck watching, or roast some marshmallows in a bonfire, or even stay in our private suite for the entirety of our weekend. It’s up to us. And we can wake up whenever we damn well please.”

She laughed into his neck. “You read my itinerary.”

“I may have looked at it in the elevator. Plus I picked the place, remember?”

“You want to wake up whenever you _damn well please_? Was that in reference to Sophie?”

He kissed her cheek. “As much as I’m fond of her, I can’t say I’ll miss the early hours.”

“Me neither.”

“Good. So we’re in agreement then?” He arched an eyebrow and looked at her.

She smiled. “Sure.”

He threw her down on the bed.

***************************************

A little while later, after some intense making out, Annie insisted she was hungry and that they go to dinner.

Jeff groaned and mumbled into her cleavage, “You’re not serious. Let’s make the sex first.”

She grabbed his chin and pulled up his face. “ _Make the sex?_ ”

He smiled sheepishly, his face still flushed. “Well yeah. We can eat afterward.”

She glanced at the bedside clock. “The restaurant closes soon.”

“We can get room service. And this wouldn’t have been an issue if you hadn’t lingered over your goodbyes earlier.”

She squinted at him and stuck out her tongue. As she gently but firmly pushed him off of her, she said with a sigh, “I thought we’d have a nice _romantic_ dinner.”

He rolled onto the other half of the bed and placed his arm over his eyes. “Room service is romantic.”

She pushed down the lower half of her skirt and began to button up her blouse. “I’d like us to go downstairs. And then we can take a walk in the moonlight. And _then_ we can come back here and we can _make the sex_.”

He turned on his side and regarded her with mock irritation. “You’re high maintenance, you know that?”

“Or we could _make love_.” She fluttered her eyelashes.

He smirked as he began to climb back on top of her.

_Swat._

“Okay, okay. Dinner first.” 

****************************

They dined in the resort restaurant and then took a walk. Annie insisted they hold hands as they followed the path around the golf course to the lake. As they neared, they stopped to take in the scenery.

She gave a satisfied sigh as she looked up at the moon. “It’s so clear and beautiful.”

At the resulting silence, she turned her head to see Jeff watching her with a stunned look on his face.

“Jeff?”

“ _You’re_ beautiful.”

She felt her face warm as she smiled slightly. “Awww…”

He continued to stare at her. “You are. You’re the most beautiful, gorgeous, amazing person. You look on the outside like you are on the inside.”

She tilted her head to the side and regarded him curiously. “That’s sweet. Thank you.”

More silence.

“Jeff?”

He squeezed her hand. “You’re a good person. Like the best person I’ve ever met. You’re way too good of a person to be with me.”

She laughed nervously. “That’s not true!” She shook her head. “I’m a pretty terrible person, actually. Just ask the people I’ve wronged. But do I let that get me down? No, I don’t. Because sometimes you just have to lift up your chin and tell the world to fuck off.”

He sputtered, “Jesus, Annie.”

Jutting her chin out, she then smiled mischievously. “And _most importantly_ , I happen to know you’re a good person. You pretend you’re not because you’re not sure if people will really like you, but I know your secret.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and stood on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his neck. “You’re a sweetie. The best sweetie I could ever ask for. And I really enjoy _making the sex_ with you. And I love you.”

She felt his body tense.

“Oh God.”

“Jeff?”

“Is that a bear?”

Her eyes widened as she turned to see the outline of a creature in the distance, near some foliage. She stared at it for a moment before she said, “I think that’s an elk.”

“Really?”

“It has antlers. It’s a warm night, that’s probably why it’s still out and about.”

“We should probably go inside before it sees us.”

She turned to look at him with a bemused expression. She regarded his look of terror. “Jeff, it’s way over there across the golf course and behind that barrier. As long as we don’t bother it, it’s hardly going to attack us.”

He gripped her shoulder and said in a low voice, “But to be safe, we should probably go back to our room.” 

************************

Annie stood on the balcony, looking up at the stars. “This is amazing. Thanks for bringing me here.”

Jeff leaned against the pane of the sliding door with his hands in his pockets. He watched her profile, noticing the soft smile on her face.

He cleared his throat. “Thought it would be fun and that we could actually just do something _boyfriendy_ and _girlfriendy_.”

She continued to look up and sighed. “As opposed to _parenty_.”

“Yeah, well.”

She turned to face him with an apologetic smile. “I wish things could be different between us. That things could be _normal_. I wonder what that would be like?”

He shrugged. “It’s irrelevant.”

“You never thought you’d fall for a girl with a kid.”

He laughed. “No. But hey, I think it’s working out okay. Sometimes what we think we want isn’t what we need.”

“Just like Greendale?”

He squinted at her. “Don’t push it.” He quickly softened his expression as he said, “But if it hadn’t been for Greendale I wouldn’t have met you. So there. Yup, I guess I needed Greendale Community College too.”

She walked over to him and reached up to place her arms around his shoulders. “Look at how much you have learned. I’m so proud of you.”

He blushed. “Annie….”

“I hope you’re still open to learning more tonight. Unless you’re over-educated?” She tilted her head and gave him her best Disney eyes.

He gulped. “Um, no, not at all. Please, please, teach me something. I need it. You have no idea.”

“Because?”

“I thrive on learning.”

“Good answer.”

She grabbed the end of his tie and lightly pulled him into their suite.

He grabbed the sliding door and slid it behind them as she continued to yank on his tie. “Annie!”

“Sorry.”

The door clicked in place. Jeff grabbed at his neck.

Annie dropped the end of the tie and looked up at him with concern. “Poor baby. Let’s take this off.” She bit her lip in concentration as she began loosening the tie. She undid the knot and pulled it free with a satisfied sigh. “There. Now we can _use_ it.”

Jeff arched an eyebrow as she grabbed his hand and led him to the bed.

Within minutes they were rolling on top of the comforter, per their earlier activities. Annie had flung the tie to the side and was busy running her hands through Jeff’s hair. She loved to mess it up, still giddy in the knowledge, even over one year later, that she was the only one who got to see his real bedhead. And the fact that he let her do just about anything to him was more than a little bit of a turn on.

She also loved what he was doing at the moment. She let out a gasp as she felt his thumb press against her inside her panties.

He mumbled into her neck, “What next, Miss Edison?”

She gasped again into his ear, feeling him shiver.

He paused and held his head back to look at her. He then nonverbally indicated he was willing to go lower if she instructed him to do so.

She shook her head.

“No?”

“Not right now. Keep doing that.” She swatted at his stilled hand, which was still underneath her bunched up skirt.

“Mmmmmm.” She leaned back on the pillow as Jeff continued to pepper her neck with kisses.

He then began to lick her neck, tracing his tongue down to her clavicle.

She opened her blouse, pursing her lips in frustration as Jeff needed to momentarily remove his hand so that she could chuck it to the side.

He promptly resumed his attentions as he made his way to her bra. He began to lick her nipples through the yellow lace.

She arched back a little at the sensation of his tongue and tensed as his thumb made a circular motion below.

“I can use more.” He brushed his other fingers on the inside of her thighs.

She watched his hopeful expression as he pulled up from her chest. She licked her lips.

As she hesitated, he began to tease a finger, dipping it shallowly inside her. He said in a low voice, “We should get these clothes off of you.”

She squeaked. As he wiggled his eyebrows, she turned pink and stammered, “That’s not how we’re going to do this tonight. I get to do things to _you_.” She reached over and grabbed the tie.

He paused his activities and widened his eyes. “Oh, um, sorry.”

“It’s okay, you don’t _listen_.”

He grinned. “I’m so, so, sorry, Miss Edison.”

She felt him smirk as he came in closer for a deep kiss. She indulged him for a few moments, feeling a sense of control at him removing his hand from her panties. She pushed on his chest and he obediently rolled onto his back, the momentum leading her to fall on top of him. Throughout, she held onto his tie. She leaned down and kissed him slowly for a few moments before she pulled back with a coy expression.

His eyes widened. “Is this the last time I see you?”

She nodded. “For a little bit.” She carefully placed the tie over his eyes. He lifted his head so that she could wrap it around.

“Be careful, that’s a nice one. Don’t knot it up.”

“And whose fault is it that he left the blindfold at home?”

“How was I supposed to know…” She cut him off with another kiss and proceeded to lightly fasten the tie to the side of his head.

She leaned back and smiled smugly at the sight of him without sight lying on the bed, completely unguarded. She frowned. Except for his _clothes_. She unbuttoned his medium-blue dress shirt and instructed him to take it off and throw it on the floor. After this was accomplished, she artfully unzipped his jeans and helped him shimmy out of them. She sat back and took in the view of him, waxed chest, abs, and orange Hanros. She looked over her shoulder with a frown.

“Take your socks off.”

“Oh, um, of course.” He reached down and yanked them off.

She then leaned over and said softly into his ear, “I’m going to take my clothes off. I’ll let you know when I’m done.”

She smiled at the resulting whimper.

After a few moments of exaggerated sighs and loud fumbling with her skirt – resulting in more whimpering – she moved back in for another kiss.

He reached up and felt her bare breast. “Mmm…god…Annie.”

She pulled back and moved his hand away. “Not now. Let me work on you.”

She noticed the giddy grin spread across his face. “Really? But I thought we were doing me taking instruct…” He stopped as she placed her hand over his mouth.

“We are. Again you don’t _listen_. I am going to help you, and then I’m going to tell you how you’re going to help me.”

“Mmmmmbbbblleee.”

“That’s right.” She removed her hand and smiled to herself as she reached down and stroked his bulge through his Hanros. The resulting moan was her encouragement to place kisses down his chest. She paused, as usual, to lick his abs.

She glanced up and noticed he was biting his lip to stop from saying anything.

_He really tries to be good_.

She scooted lower, resisting the urge she felt to rub against his hairy thigh. She figured that would be slightly undignified and give him too much smug satisfaction. She paused to lick once around his navel and then gave it a kiss.

Whimper.

She grinned as she kissed him through the luxurious orange fabric, pausing for just a moment to quickly scrape her teeth against the bulge.

He tensed and let out a shallow breath.

She pulled down his underwear, and he immediately lifted himself up enough so that she could bring it down to this thighs. With nonverbal cooperation, they were able to remove them completely and discard them on the floor.

She took a moment to regard him completely nude. With a loud satisfied sigh, she moved in and slowly peppered kisses on his inner thighs from his knees upward.

Whimper. Whimper.

She abruptly stopped and waited.

Whimper.

She smiled and began to use her hands to lightly stroke him. After she felt he had suffered enough, she began to steadily lick him from the base toward the tip, pausing before she got to the head, circling around him just below it, and then choosing another spot at the base from which to repeat.

Whimper and some movement.

She cupped his balls in her hand and played with them while she continued her efforts. Eventually she gripped the shaft and indulged him, giving her full attentions to the head and tip.

“God..Annie…”

“Shhhhh…”

Whimper.

She finally took him in completely and used her hands to provide attention to the lower areas. She felt him struggle to maintain the stillness he knew she preferred in this situation while emitting slight gasps as she proceeded.

When she felt him jerk upward suddenly, she knew she’d have to change tactics.

“Sorry,” He gasped, “I’ll hold back.”

She removed him and looked upward to see a pained expression on his still blindfolded face.

“Now me.”

His mouth opened in shock. “But I thought…”

She crawled over him and used her hands to position him. “My turn.”

He grinned as she slid down on him. He then let out a moan, “God, _our_ turn.”

She swatted his chest as she arched her back. She began to move herself up and down. Although she didn’t think it was possible, she could have sworn she felt him grow even more as she continued to ride him. She circled her hips twice.

Whimper.

After several minutes of this, she began to allow him to make more movements, including thrusting upward. In one particular moment of weakness, she yanked the tie off his face.

He stared up at her with intensely darkened eyes and immediately pulled her down for a deep kiss. He then reached a hand down to massage her as they moved together.

“Jeeefff.”

She felt herself pulsating around him as he continued to press against her.

“Oh, God, Jeff.” She cried out as he bucked up into her.

He grunted.

As she felt the continued building of the energy, she was barely aware of how he managed to move to a position where he could suck her breasts.

“Yes, do that.”

She felt him smile against her body.

“Yes, milady,” he mumbled as he continued.

She felt the energy building even more. Realizing they weren’t at home with a sleeping Sophie next door, she allowed herself to cry out again, “Jeeefff.”

“Shhhhhh….”

She smacked his shoulder and grabbed his face in for a deep kiss.

They rocked together.

At one point she bit his lip.

“Ouch.”

“Jeeeffff.”

“God, Annie, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He thrust once more before he said into her ear, “I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.”

“Don’t.”

“Sure?”

“Um hmmm…”

He continued to rub her more quickly as he accelerated his thrusts.

She noticed the pulsing build even more. She finally let herself completely go around him. She was aware of him thrusting one last time and the resulting loud grunt as she felt the aftershocks flood her system.

They both held their positions for a minute, Annie collapsing her sweaty forehead against his. She felt his heaving chest.

She carefully removed herself from him and rolled off.

“That was good.”

He laughed. “Oh, really? Thanks.”

“Thank you.”

“I have the best teacher. And she knows how to incentivize students. I’ll have to do some extra credit later though. I think she might expect it.”

She turned her head to look at him and stuck out her tongue.

“And did I mention my teacher is _loud_. I mean, holy…” He was stopped by a kiss. 

**************************

The light streamed in from the window. Annie turned to see warm colors begin to fill the sky. She nudged him.

“Hm?”

“Jeff!”

He mumbled into the pillow, “Yes, munchkin?”

She whispered into his ear, “It’s me. We’re on vacation.”

His eyes popped open. “Oh, um, sorry. What the hell time is it?”

“It’s so beautiful. The sunrise! Let’s go out on the balcony and watch it.”

“So much for sleeping in.” 

*************************

After breakfast (Jeff won the argument for room service) on the balcony, Annie dragged Jeff kayaking on the lake. She explained she always loved kayaking at summer camp while she was growing up.

She fluttered her eyelashes. “Although I didn’t have a cute boyfriend to share it with.”

He sighed as he popped on his sunglasses. “That’s right. The least I could do is show you how it’s done.”

“I told you, I’ve kayaked many times.”

“But not the Winger way. This is one thing I have down, baby.”

She rolled her eyes.

In the end, he stubbornly admitted she was in fact the better kayaker.

“Oh, are you sad?” She mock pouted as she splashed him from her kayak.

Coming to complete stop, he grumbled, “We could have done a couples kayak.”

“How would you have shown me your _moves_?” She smiled with wide eyes.

He broke out in a dirty grin.

“Gross! You are _gross_!” She continued splashing him. 

*********************************

“We should have brought Sophie.”

Jeff almost spit out his cocktail. “Whaaat?” He turned to look at her from their outside table overlooking the lake.

Annie motioned over to three kids, ranging in age from around three to eight, skipping rocks on the water.

He remarked sardonically, “Yeah, that would have been _great_.”

She turned to him and smiled slightly. “I miss her.”

“Annie, I know this resort is child-friendly, but she’s barely _two_. If we brought her we wouldn’t be able to do half the stuff we can do here.”

She nodded absentmindedly as she resumed watching the children play. “She likes ducks. We could bring her here when she’s older.”

Jeff sighed while watching the quacking creatures overtake the three year old. “I think you need to stop looking over there and go to the spa. You can’t do that with a child.”

Annie leaned back in her chair and sipped her iced tea. “You’re right. I’m going to get a massage.”

“Good. I might do that too.”

“And then you’re joining me in the pool.”

“Yes, of course.” 

**************************

That evening they rode into downtown Estes Park and explored some shops, finally dining at a small restaurant on a quiet street.

“This feels like such a small town.”

“It’s cute.” Annie turned her head and beamed as she looked out the window.

He shrugged and sipped his wine. “It’s fine. I guess one could say it’s quaint.”

She turned to him and patted his arm. “Don’t worry. We’ll still move to Denver.”

He let out a low laugh. “I wasn’t worried you wanted to move here.”

She nodded. “I just wanted to be clear. That’s still the plan, right? Denver?”

He placed his glass on the table and took her hand. “Yeah. If you want.”

“But your firm?”

He sighed. “That’s uncertain. And _Alan’s_ there. Plus, I’ve been having some discussions with Mark, and well, I don’t want to jinx anything…”

She raised her eyebrows.

He continued, “But we’re thinking of trying out some ideas. And I told him I’d be interested if we could do it in Denver.”

She startled. “You mean your own firm?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. And I’m not sure if we can do it in Denver; might be too much competition, but even if it’s in Greendale, I can commute it. You should go to grad school and we can live as close as we can.”

She nodded and squeezed his hand. “Then we need to save money. So you have enough to start it.”

He looked down. “It’s one and a half, maybe two years away.”

She nodded even more vigorously. “That’s soon. And I want you to do it.”

“Thanks. Um, we can figure it out later.”

“Right. When we get home I’ll look at the financials.”

  

***************************

After returning to the resort, they did the ‘cheesy’ thing, as Jeff described it, and sat outside near the fire pit. Annie looked up at the white night lights strung around the area and let out a contented sigh.

Jeff watched her and felt a buzzing sensation come over him. He frowned in confusion as he looked down to see his drink mostly still full.

“This is nice.”

Her eyes shot up to his. “I thought you said it was cheesy.”

“Eh.”

She began to hum along to the jazz music playing over the speakers. At the end of the tune, she was conscious of him still watching her.

“We should do this again sometime.”

“Jeff, we’re still here.”

  

********************

On Sunday, they allowed themselves to sleep in for a couple hours and then had breakfast downstairs followed by a final walk near the lake. They packed up the car and bid Lake Estes farewell.

Upon their arrival at Dorie’s, a squealing and suspiciously sticky Sophie greeted them.

_“Mama, Da-dee! Oooohhh, Mama und Da-dee go und back.”_

Annie picked her up and squeezed her. “We missed you, sweetie.”

“See, secure attachment.” Jeff leaned over and gave Sophie a kiss. He turned to Dorie.   “Thanks, mom.”

Dorie smiled and said softly, “She was no problem. And guess what? We have a new milestone. She’s calling me _Gamma_.” She puffed out her chest.

Annie laughed. “Well, we also have a new milestone. Jeff relaxed.”

“Ha ha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first attempt at explicit smut. A risk, to be sure. Not sure if I’ll do it again, but I can check it off my writing to-do list. And there’s always that old tumblr post making the rounds where someone complains that Jeff doesn’t get enough attention. So take THAT original commenter.


	11. Monkey Gas Would Have Been Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang returns to Greendale, and Jeff is preoccupied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those of you who wrote me backchannel to provide constructive feedback on the previous chapter. Turns out I can’t write smut. Oh well, I had to try. ;)
> 
> Future sexiness installments will likely be more implicit.

Annie stretched her leg out and felt it brush against the luxurious sheets. She let out a satisfied sigh.

“Mmm….go back to sleep,” came Jeff’s low voice, his hot breath hitting the back of her neck.

She smiled as she felt his arms, which were already wrapped around her, pull her in closer.

She giggled. “How does your arm not fall asleep?”

“Dunno. I don’t know if I slept all night like this.”

“You’re awake?”

“Who knows? We should sleep before the baby hobbit wakes up.”

Annie sighed again as she turned to face him. He needed to relax his arms slightly for her to do so, but then quickly pulled her into his chest.

“It’s the first day of school. Aren’t you excited?”

“God do you not know me at all by now?”

She moved her head back, noticing his eyes remained closed. “Fine. Grouch.”

“I want to stay in bed with you all day.”

“Then we wouldn’t be very productive, now would we?”

His eyes opened and he regarded her with a softness. “I don’t know about that. You always say we should work on _us_. I don’t know what better way.” He gave a slight smile.

She bit her lip and began to trace her free hand on his bare chest. She moved her foot up and down his leg. “Since we’re awake?”

She watched as his expression suddenly shifted to something she couldn’t quite read. His eyes widened slightly for just a moment before he resumed looking at her with fondness.

“I’ll deny it to my dying day if you tell anyone else, but could we just cuddle?”

She almost let out gasp but stopped herself.  She placed a kiss on his chest and then curled into him. “Of course. I love cuddling with you.”

He pulled her in even tighter.

  

********************

The new school year started on a mundane note. Although Pierce had technically left the group in May, they all assumed he would be returning since he had hosted Sophie’s birthday party and seemed to be back in Annie’s good graces.   Sure enough, he strutted into the study room as if nothing was amiss, and even Jeff knew better than to make a big deal out of it.

Jeff winced as he felt Annie kick him under the study table.

_How the hell can she even reach?_

He glanced over at her sweetly smiling face and resumed looking at his phone. He muttered, “Hey Pierce.”

“Hello Jeffrey. I hope you are well.”

Jeff kept his mouth shut.

_“Gampa Peas!”_

Jeff startled to see Sophie reaching upward and almost bouncing in her booster seat in the normally empty chair to his left. She continued to squeal as Pierce crept up behind Jeff – _shudder_ \- and reached down to give Sophie a hug.

“Owww!”

Jeff suppressed visible signs of satisfaction as he heard the loud crack of Pierce’s spine.

After everyone was finally settled, they began to discuss the plan for third year study group (deciding it didn’t matter that Pierce wasn’t technically in Biology since they were all bona fide friends at this point), which of course meant they all chatted about their summers. They had plenty to catch up on given they hadn’t had any group get togethers in the month of August.

Annie gushed to Shirley, “And it was so _relaxing_. Even Jeff chilled out.”

Shirley cooed her approval as she bounced baby Ben on her lap. “That’s nice.”

Annie shot a look over at Jeff, expecting him to be scowling or rolling his eyes at her teasing. Instead, she startled to see him staring at his phone and likely pressing random buttons. His face was scrunched up in thought.

She gave him another kick.

He roused from his thoughts and turned to attend to Sophie who was offering him her bear. He took a moment to adjust the purple ribbon holding her topknot in place. “There you go, munchkin.” He squinted at it, and satisfied that it was in the proper center of her head, turned back to his phone.

A few minutes later, Annie heard Britta exclaim, “Hey jerkwad, what’s with you?”

Annie turned back in Jeff’s direction to see him rousing from some sort of stupor, the remnants of a lazy grin on his face.

He turned with a scowl to Britta. “Goddammit. There’s nothing _with_ me.”

“Yeah, sure. You looked all dreamy there and almost love struck. But isn’t your girlfriend sitting right here? Annie, you should kick his ass.”

Annie rolled her eyes but then looked at Jeff curiously.

Jeff squinted at Britta as his brain worked quickly on a cover story.

Satisfied he had a plausible one, he cleared his throat. “I was merely fantasizing of how the group would be much better off without someone who tried to _kill_ me in attendance.” He shot a look across to Pierce.

“Jeffrey, let’s let bygones be bygones. I thought we had an understanding as men.”

“Oh, like hell…”

_“Hell.”_

Jeff closed his eyes as he felt Annie kick him again. He focused on his breath for a few moments and affected a fake smirk. The last thing he wanted to do was let on what he was really thinking about. He still had images of the musical number where they were _all gonna be fine_ now that he found a way to rid their lives of Adam Wellson.

There had even been some flying involved and a little bit of a dip. And everyone at Greendale had seemed happy for them.

He looked over to see Sophie smiling at him. _“Hell Da-dee”_

He avoided Annie’s gaze by making sure Sophie’s purple sparkly shoes were securely velcroed.

At that moment, the Dean, uncharacteristically dressed in a suit and tie, tapped on the open door and gracefully stepped into the room.

“Well hello to my favorite study group! Welcome to a new school year!”

There were various friendly greetings.

He placed his hands on his hips. “And why, we have _two_ baby Greendales here now! My, it warms my heart. But whatever will you do with them?”

Annie and Shirley said in unison, “Daycare.”

“Oh, right, of course.”

Shirley cleared her throat and said in a sing-songy voice, “It will be Ben’s first day. He’s going to the infant room. An-nie, Jeffrey, and I are going to take the little ones to the center before Bi-ol-ogy.”

The Dean waived his hands in the air. “Now that is _adorable_! Baby Greendales _bonding_ in the school daycare, the group all back together and taking _Biology_ , and we’re all chatting it up, just like old friends.”

Abed appeared to ponder the Dean’s words and then raised an index finger in the air.

Troy clasped his hands together and did a bounce in his seat.

Abed cleared his throat and said, “I sense something is different here. The Dean, while normally providing humorous side relief, seems to have much more lines than usual. And he has a _goatee_.”

Troy’s face fell.

The Dean swatted the air. “Oh, this? I thought I’d try something new. Do you think it makes me more distinguished? Annie and I have been working on cleaning up Greendale over the summer, and I feel we’re off to an excellent start. I plan to be a _serious Dean_ this semester. And as for more _lines_ , well, now that you mention it, it does almost seem like I’ve become more of a _regular._ ”

Troy muttered something under his breath.

Abed turned to look at him and tilted his head. “Oh, I’m sorry, Troy and I have an announcement.”

Shirley looked nervous as she braced herself.

Annie smiled encouragingly, nodding to a now giddy Troy as he and Abed began to share their news of living together with the group.

Jeff frowned and muttered, “Since when did this happen?”

It dawned on him that Annie seemed to already know all about it. His head still swimming with thoughts, he vaguely encoded the Dean asking about the noises in the vents. 

******************************

There were some skirmishes in Biology class, most notably when Jeff let himself become distracted with texts and calls from Mark. He didn’t miss Annie’s look of judgment - _did she get that from Shirley?_ \- and was more than a little surprised when Professor Kane kicked him out of class.

He sighed as he leaned against the corridor wall and closed his eyes.

“Well, well, well.   What do we have here? Did you get expelled already?”

Jeff opened his eyes and scowled. “There was a misunderstanding. I’ll get back in there.”

Ian nodded and began to tap the wall with a disturbingly well-bitten pencil.

“But you’re not in there now. Let’s go to the pub.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Jeff appeared to fully register Ian’s presence. “My mom said you were going to England to take care of your _mum_. She said you had asked for a sabbatical.”

“Wouldn’t I have told you if I had done so?”

Jeff shrugged. “That’s what I said to her. But she insisted you told her that.”

Ian let out a long sigh. “I may have been planning that, but things changed. Turns out cousin Clive was happy to help out. He lives there, you see, so it’s much less of an imposition, even if it is _mum_.” He shuddered.

Jeff scrunched up his face in thought. “I could have sworn you’d jump at the chance to get out of here.”

Ian turned away and began to study the pencil. “I thought I’d be much more useful here.” He suddenly did a little hop and slapped Jeff on the arm with a goofy grin. “Pub?”

“Sure, why the hell not?”

As they made their way down the hallway, they failed to notice a hissing noise in the vents. 

****************************

Britta and Shirley moved in on Annie as she placed her biology textbook in her locker.

Annie turned around and jumped. “Oh!”

Shirley and Britta exchanged conspiring looks. Shirley cleared her throat and affected a sweet tone, “So, An-nie what is going on with Jeffrey?”

As she looked into her locker mirror and adjusted a stray hair, she said nonchalantly, “How would I know?”

Britta leaned against another locker and kicked the floor with her boot. “Annie, come on, you can tell us. He’s being extra strange, even by Jeff standards.”

Annie groaned and closed her locker. She motioned for them to follow her, and they began to make their way down the hall.

“I really don’t know. He’s been either really sweet or absentminded the last few days, like he’s preoccupied with something. But when I ask, he won’t open up to me.”

Shirley affected an airy tone, “Who was calling him in class?”

Annie grimaced. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since class let out, and he didn’t respond to my text.” 

“Are you worried?” Shirley eyed her with concern.

“He’s probably feeling humiliated after Professor Kane kicked him out. Which means he’s hiding somewhere.” She avoided their eyes as they all plopped down on a couch in the student lounge.   She mumbled and dropped her backpack on the floor, “He’s probably at a bar.”

Britta and Shirley exchanged alarmed looks.

“That boy is a fool.”

“I don’t know for sure. I just figured he might be. Plus I went by Professor Duncan’s office and he wasn’t there.” She shrugged.

Britta nodded contemplatively and pulled out her phone. “Jerk.” She sighed loudly. “Just a sec.” She awkwardly punched some keys on her phone, scrunching up her face in concentration.

Within moments, her phone buzzed.

“Yup. He’s with Professor Duncan. They’re at the Dirty Cowgirl.”

Annie leaned forward and put her head in her hands. “Things have been going so well between us. But he’s shutting me out.” She began to cry softly.

Shirley rubbed her back and said in a low voice, “I’ll talk to him. Drinking’s no solution, I know that from my own experience.”

Annie mumbled, “He hasn’t even been drinking much in like a year. He goes out with Professor Duncan once in awhile, but he hasn’t even gotten _drunk_ in a long time.”

Shirley nodded as she continued to rub Annie’s back. “That’s good. But he should talk to you, not Professor Duncan.”

Britta added, “Yeah. That guy’s got his own problems.”

Annie lifted her head and leaned back on the couch. “I don’t mind if he talks to him. Believe it or not, they are friends. I just wish he’d also talk to me.”

Shirley lowered her voice. “Did something happen lately? You said the two of you had a nice vacation.”

“We did.” She avoided their eyes as she added in a soft voice, “The only thing was Adam came by for another visit last week.”

Britta raised her eyebrows. “How do those two get along?”

Annie shrugged. “About as well as I can expect. Adam’s kind of a difficult person.”

“I figured. And Jeff’s not the best at putting up with crap.”

Annie took a deep breath and looked over to Britta. “They’re _civil_ to one another. But I know Jeff hates leaving the room when Adam plays with Sophie. But we talked about it, and visits go better that way. We don’t want Sophie to feel the tension or that she has to choose who she plays with. But I think it _kills_ him.”

Britta nodded. “He’s pretty attached to Sophie. That must be hard to have to share her with her father.”

Annie wiped a tear from her eye. “But that’s what’s so terrible. Jeff’s more of a father to Sophie than Adam ever has been. And it hurts me to see him so hurt.” She began to almost violently twist the hem of her skirt and avoided their eyes.

Shirley and Britta exchanged looks and Britta gave Shirley a nod.

“Now, sweetie, is there anything else? You can tell us.”

They watched as tears streamed down Annie’s cheeks. She kept her eyes closed as she gulped down a sob. “I didn’t want to tell you guys just yet. Then it’ll be _real_.”

“An-nie, just go ahead. Maybe we can help.”

She nodded and appeared to steady herself for a moment. She then said in a trembling voice, “Adam asked for overnights. He’s going to start taking Sophie on the weekends. And I don’t think I can stop him.”

Britta and Shirley both gasped.

“Oh like _hell_ he’s doing that! He can’t, right?”

Shirley gave Britta a sharp stare and then turned her attentions to Annie. She pulled her into a hug. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.” She began to cry herself as she buried her face into Annie’s hair.

“What the hell? No, he can’t!”

Annie gulped down another sob and turned her head so that she could see Britta.   “He can. It’s in our custody agreement. I just never thought he would. But by law, he can demand up to fifty percent.”

“That’s insane!”

Annie pushed away from Shirley as Britta moved in closer to her. She grabbed her backpack off the floor and clutched it on her lap. Staring straight ahead, she said in a low voice, “I’m trying to stay positive. I don’t think he’ll take her half the time. That would really cramp his style. But he’s asking us to start to allow him to take her for one night, on a Friday or Saturday, and then he’ll bring her back. And if that goes well, he’ll take her all weekend. He says he’d like to do this twice a month.”

“But I thought the ass didn’t want much to do with her. “

Annie shrugged. “He doesn’t. I was surprised. But I don’t think Jeff was. He saw this coming. He thinks he’s doing it because he wants to control me. And he _hates_ Jeff.”

Shirley patted Annie’s arm. “And what does Jeffrey say about it?”

Annie’s lip trembled. “He’s devastated. He’s so afraid something’s going to happen to Sophie. Jeff’s own father hurt him.”

Britta and Shirley exchanged more alarmed looks.

Annie let out a squeak and shook her head. “Please pretend I didn’t say that.”

Shirley pursed her lips. “This is not right. That man does not have the relationship that Andre has with our children. And even Andre knew better than to take my babies away from me when we were apart. And Sophie’s so _young_. She needs her mother.”

“There’s nothing to do.” Annie sniffed. “And now Jeff’s won’t even talk to me about it anymore. And I think he’s keeping something from me.”

“Oh, sweetie, it’ll be okay. We’re all here for you two.” 

*****************************

Jeff muttered into his beer, “I want to kill him.”

Ian nodded and took a swig of his own beverage. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I hope I don’t have a duty to warn.”

Jeff moved his beer to the side and placed his head on the bar. “I’m not your patient.”

“But are you?”

“Huh?”

“Going to kill him?”

“Christ. No. I’m not insane.”

“Many people hurt others, even if they’re perfectly sane. And from what you’ve told me about the bastard I’d say you have a strong case for punching him in the nose. Even with say a roll of quarters.”

Jeff smirked a little at the comment. “That’s an idea. Unfortunately, that’ll come and bite me in the ass when he sues me for assault.”

“But you have friends in the legal profession.”

“And Annie would then murder _me_.”

“But she’s not that fond of him anymore, is she?”

Jeff groaned. “Nope. But still. He’s technically the munchkin’s father.”

Ian shook his head and gripped his beer. “Then hope he’ll fade away in time. Many technical fathers do that.”

Jeff brought his head up and stared into his beer. “Yeah. Poor munchkin. I don’t want to have to explain that to her someday.”

“You can though. She’ll be okay.”

Jeff closed his eyes. “He’s trying to have it both ways though. Just enough to upset Annie. He doesn’t even care about Sophie, and _overnights._ Crap. He can’t take care of her.”

Ian appeared to contemplate this for a moment and then nodded sagely. “Many people put their egos before the welfare of children.”

“Goddammit. I know that.” Jeff gulped down his beer and stared wide-eyed at the bar. He jabbered, “That’s why, see, I’m running through scenarios. I’ve got that call in to Mark, but then he called me back during class, which got me kicked out, and now I can’t reach him since he’s in court. And I already took the money out of the bank before Annie catches on since she wants to look at my accounts.”

Ian turned abruptly toward him. “I don’t follow. Money? Accounts? Mark?”

Jeff nodded. “Annie wants to know my finances. She’s good with money and she wants to help me save more so that I can be on solid footing with this thing I might do after I graduate.”

“The rest?” Ian regarded him curiously.

Jeff added as if he were making perfect sense, “I didn’t want to have her see the money go missing, so I had to quickly move it out into a separate account.”

“Money for what?”

Jeff suddenly paled. “Nevermind.”

“Jeffrey.”

“That’s _Plan B_. Plan A is something I’ve already kind of set in motion.”

Ian nodded and sipped his beer. “Ah. So tell me about Plan A.”

Jeff squinted at him. “I can’t. It’s a string operation. And it might not pan out. Which is why I don’t want Annie to know about it. But I have my suspicions.”

“Suspicions?”

“He’s going down.” 

****************************

Annie sat with Jeff on the library steps.

“I just needed to get out of here for a little while. It was embarrassing.”

She nodded. “I know. But next time just tell me where you went. And answer my text.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to explain it.”

They sat in silence for some moments before Annie steeled herself to ask the question on her mind.

“Who was calling you in class?”

He closed his eyes and leaned back on his elbows. “Mark.”

Annie took a deep breath and placed her hand on his thigh. She smiled wearily as she said, “We’ve talked about this.   I already spoke to Mark.”

“But, see…”

“There’s nothing we can do. We can delay it a little. Mark says a judge would probably be sympathetic to Sophie needing time to adjust. We’ll have to have Adam come over more often and for longer visits. And I can go with her the first time she’s with him to make her more comfortable.”

Jeff felt an unpleasant warmth spreading throughout his upper body, his heart rate increasing as he felt sweat begin to drip from his brow.

As he spoke, he felt his breath catch. “She’ll be scared.”

Annie moved her hand in circles over his thigh. She gulped before she said softly, “I know. I’ll talk to Adam, just him and me. I’ll see if he can be reasonable about this.”

Jeff attempted to push down the bile coming up this throat. He found himself unhelpfully adding, “I’m sure he’ll love that. You groveling. And I’m sure he’d just think it’s _great_ if you spend a night over at his place.”

“Please. He doesn’t…” She trailed off as she eyed him with concern. “Are you drunk?”

Jeff opened his eyes and stared at the quad. “I’m not sober.   Sorry, I know the last thing you need is to be with an alcoholic.”

Annie shook her head in frustration. “You’re not an alcoholic, Jeff. While I’m not happy you went to a bar in the middle of the morning, we can get past this. I don’t want to fight with you.” Her voice trembled as she added, “I can’t take that right now. Not when I have to give up my baby on weekends.”

He winced. “Christ. Now I feel like even more of a jerk.”  

She affected a calmer tone as she said, “And I know you’re hurting too. But everything will be okay. It has to be. There’s no need to bother Mark again. He’s explained everything to me.”

They were silent again for a little while.

Jeff finally broke it. “He needs a drug test though, right?”

She arched a brow. “We’ve been over this. You are not going to fake a positive drug test.”

“But how do we know he’d even pass one?”

“He’s not on coke. I’d know.”

“Um hm.”

There was a loud clickety clack of metal as Leonard rode by on his bike and called out, “When are you gonna put another baby in her, Winger?”

Jeff sat up and cupped his hands on the side of his mouth. “Right after you win the Greendale swimsuit competition. I’ve seen you at the gym, Leonard, and you have serious man boobs.”

Annie smacked him in his side. 

******************************

Jeff settled into his study room chair with Sophie on his lap. She was sucking her thumb and nuzzling into this chest. She pulled her thumb out of her mouth for a moment and let out a yawn before shoving it back in.

“You must have had a thrilling day, munchkin.”

She pulled her thumb out of her mouth and looked up at him with a weak smile.

 _“Fee no da-dee. Fee mith.”_ She put her thumb back in her mouth and continued to stare at him.

He held back something coming into his eyes. He blinked. “Miss you too, munchkin.” He then tossed his phone on the table and continued to hold Sophie.

Annie watched the interaction and wiped a tear from her eye.

Pierce smiled unnervingly from his spot across the room. He laced his fingers together and said, “I’m very glad you’ve sobered up Jeffrey. I suppose you’ve um, heard, that I am now in Biology class. But we’ve all decided that you can remain in the group.”

Jeff rolled his eyes.

Annie huffed. “Pierce! There was no question Jeff was _out_ of the group. Plus, um, Jeff….” She turned to Jeff and raised her eyebrows.

Jeff coughed. “Right.” He looked around the table at the group’s curious faces. “I’m back in Biology. Turns out Starburns miscalculated and got himself kicked out.”

“Awesome! Now we’re all a family again.” Troy smiled broadly. “Nice job, man.”

Jeff nodded smugly. “I wasn’t going anywhere. No jerk can keep me away from you guys.”

The Dean took that moment to sashay into the room, now jacket-less and goatee-less. He looked around the table sheepishly. “I may have misspoken earlier when I said things were going to be different. They aren’t going to be that different.”

Abed cocked his head to the side. He then narrowed his eyes as he watched a uniformed Chang march past the study room. He opened his mouth, but the Dean, who had followed his gaze, waived the air. “I can’t get into that now. Turns out everything will be the same as last year, only we won’t have any money.” His voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

Annie’s eyes widened. “What?!?”

He looked at her with a panicked expression, bit his knuckle, and ran out of the room.

“So, that was weird.”

“Jeffrey, clearly something is wrong with that poor man.” Shirley placed a kiss on baby Ben’s head as she bounced him on her lap.

“Guys, it’s the end of our first day. We haven’t talked about my accomplishment.” Britta puffed out her chest as she smoothed down the cover of her Chemistry book.

Jeff smirked. “Wow. What did I miss?”

Britta continued to preen and avoided his gaze. “I may have saved Abed. Um, after I broke him. Sorry.” She looked over to her right.

Abed made a gunning gesture with his hand. “Forgiven. It’s the best show I’ve ever seen. I owe you.”

Britta smiled as a blush crept over her cheeks. She turned back to the group and looked around the table. “I met with Professor Duncan an hour ago and declared a major. Psychology.”

Jeff arched a brow and maneuvered Sophie on his lap. “You mean like in a research capacity?”

“No, jerkwad. I’m going to be a therapist. I helped Abed.”

Jeff opened his mouth but stopped as Annie kicked him under the table.


	12. The Best Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff schemes, Annie is frustrated, and Britta tries to get arrested

“I’ll work the binoculars. Just give me a carafe of coffee, and I can stay steady all night.”

“Mom! Please, this isn’t…”

“I have a pair. Not that I use them _that_ often, but they work really well. Although I suppose if I drink a lot of coffee I might need you to take over for a bit while I run to the ladies…”

“Mom! You will _not_ be hunkered down in a car with me watching Adam’s building. That’s asinine.”

Dorie craned her neck to look at him. She held her coffee mug in one hand, taking a steadied sip before placing it on the kitchen counter.

She said calmly, “Is it, dear? We need to make sure Sophie’s safe. And of course we won’t be in your car. He’d recognize it. We need a van.”

Jeff smacked his hand on his forehead and closed his eyes. “God. Now you sound like Troy and Abed.”

Dorie’s face lit up and she did a little bounce. “Oooh! Is that darling Troy helping?” She pursed her lips and squinted into the distance. “Maybe he can take over the binoculars while you man the audio feed.” She turned her eyes back to him and asked, “We are wiring her, right? Maybe it would be best to put a device in her teddy bear.”

Jeff’s eyes widened and he stepped back. “Wiring her? What the _hell_? Did you talk to Abed? “

Dorie seemed amused. “ _Troy’s_ Abed? No of course not. I’ve never met the poor dear. Did he suggest it? He sounds like a smart boy.”

Jeff grunted as he plopped down in a chair at the table. “No. I have not been discussing this part with them.”

Dorie nodded and filled up another mug with coffee. She slid it over to Jeff as she sat down in the opposite chair. She studied his face.

“This part?”

Jeff closed his eyes and cupped his mug. “I’m hoping we don’t even have to deal with _this part_. And need I remind you, I’m not the one who suggested a stakeout.” He opened his eyes and gave her a worried look. “Have you been watching more movies or something?”

Dorie squinted at him and sipped her coffee. “You know, I have a friend who used to be a police detective. He’s a bit gruff, but he knows all sorts of tricks. Maybe I can get him to help. I’m pretty sure he’d do anything I say.”

“Mom!”

Dorie leaned her elbow on the table and placed her head in her hand. She regarded him with an almost pleading expression.

Her voice cracked as she said softly, “I love that little girl.   Just tell me what you need me to do.”

Jeff shook his head and looked down at his coffee. “There’s nothing you can do. I just wanted to let you know what was going on.”

She nodded solemnly. “I can listen. Dear, you must be so upset. And poor Annie.” She reached across the table and patted his arm.

He sighed and he raised his eyes to meet hers. “I’m working on something, but please don’t tell her. I don’t want to get her hopes up, or God forbid, she tries to stop me.”

“Is it illegal?”

He shrugged. “Not really. There’s a slight danger I might get Troy in some trouble, but he says he’s willing to risk it.”

“So that adorable young man is involved, is he? He’s a good friend. Please keep him safe.”

“I’ll try.” 

*******************************

Troy settled into his barstool next to Adam. He motioned the bartender and ordered two beers.

He turned with a broad smile and affected cheerfulness, “It’s so cool being twenty one. I’ve been ordering my own alcohol for months. It’s like a whole new world.”

Adam let out a low laugh. “Crazy, right? You’re _almost_ a full man. When you’re twenty five you can rent a car, so then you’re all set.”

Troy frowned as he took his beer from the bartender. He noticed with some puzzlement that he felt like he had almost been softly punched. “Oh. I thought I was a man now.”

Adam shrugged and said in a teasing tone, “Sorry. I mean you’re _very close_.” He picked up his beer and held it aloft. “But seriously, here’s to catching up.”

Troy’s smile returned. They clinked glasses and downed big gulps.

Troy held back his wince.

Adam tilted his head and regarded Troy curiously. “Why did you order it if you don’t like beer?”

Troy’s eyes widened and he shifted on the stool. “Oh, um, I just thought that’s what guys drink. Right?”

Adam laughed and he leaned toward Troy with a conspiratorial grin. “You can drink whatever you want. Come on, you can tell me. What do you really want?”

Troy nodded. “Okay. Like, but please don’t laugh at me, man. I’d like a 7 and 7.”

Adam raised his eyebrows. “Well, um, okay.” He turned to the bartender. “A 7 and 7, please.”

“Thanks man for being cool about it and not making fun of me.”

“I’d never make fun of you, Troy. We’re friends.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m glad you called me. It’s been so long.” He sipped his beer and studied Troy over the rim of the glass.

Troy shifted awkwardly on his stool. He was relieved when the bartender slid over his drink. He grabbed it and began to take long sips.

Adam watched him drink and then arched a brow. “So, why did you really call me?”

Troy tensed and avoided his gaze. “I just wanted to hang out.”

Adam began to smirk. “Oh come on. We haven’t seen each other since last year. And even then you didn’t follow up with my offer to help you with a letter of recommendation. Is that what you want? Cause you can just tell me. It’s fine.”

Troy nodded thoughtfully and continued to keep his eyes on his drink. “Thanks, man. But I’m still a couple years out from graduating anyway. And my grades aren’t good enough to transfer. So, um, I just wanted to….”

Adam cut him off. “Is this about Annie?”

Troy’s eyes grew again as he turned to him. “Maybe.”

Adam nodded and made a swooping motion with his hand. “Ahhh. Go on.”

Troy took another sip, feeling the alcohol begin to warm his throat. “I really don’t like her boyfriend. He’s been an ass to me at school. Always posturing and stuff. He’s like some of those jocks I hung out with at Riverside. You remember? I had to do so much to fit in with them, and they made me do all sorts of things. It’s like he’s a bully, man.”

Adam grimaced and carefully placed his beer on the bar. “Can’t say I’m surprised. I must say I’m not a fan of his either. He’s trying to push me out of my own family.”

The corner of Troy’s mouth twitched, and he nodded. “Yeah. He and Annie are real serious. But they fight sometimes. I’m hoping they break up.”

Adam seemed amused by this news. “Interesting.”

Troy took another sip and then said, “I wish she was with you. My own parents split up a long time ago and it was real rough. Sophie should be with her real daddy and not that jerk.”

Adam smirked. “You think so? Why, Troy, that’s kind of you to say that. I’m flattered. I guess I didn’t realize you were such a fan of mine.”

Troy shrugged. “Well, I don’t know you that well, but you were always real nice to Annie, and she seemed happy with you. And I don’t think she’s happy with Jeff.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Jeff’s been amping up the jerkiness lately. I just want to punch him. Annie says you’ve been coming to visit more. So, er, I guess I just wanted to see if there’s anything I can do to help.”

A grin spread across Adam’s face. He slapped Troy on the back. “Wow! That’s incredibly awesome of you!”

Troy shifted nervously on the stool. “Um, yeah.”

Adam studied him for some moments. “Maybe you could be my eyes and ears? Let me know his weak spots. Stuff like that?”

“Sure, man.”

“Excellent.”

A newspaper rustled at a nearby table, a black fedora peeking out at the top. 

*********************************

Britta stood in front of Chang and crinkled up his written warning. She shoved it into her mouth.

Faint sounds of cheesy romance music began filtering through the loudspeakers as she began to chew. Chang held his face impassive as they stood inches apart.

Ian, who managed to witness the whole clumsy garbage can fiasco from the quad, watched in mild titillation/horror as Britta and Chang continued to stare defiantly into each other’s eyes.

Britta began to choke on the paper and spit it into the garbage can.

“And that’s how we do that.”

“Hey I got my eye on you, Missy!” 

*******************************

Jeff sat across from Annie on one of the study room couches. He looked at her intently.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Annie sheepishly raised her eyes to meet his. With the pillow still on her lap, she said, “I’m sorry. I just really wanted to win.”

Jeff grimaced. “Annie, look, we both know you have a competitive streak –

She shot him a bemused look and mouthed “you too.”

-“but that doesn’t mean you should literally throw a _temper tantrum_ in the middle of a Model UN match.”

She nodded, looking down and fidgeting with the pillow.

Jeff sighed as he watched her. “What’s really going on?”

She quickly puffed out her chest and began to smooth the pillow. “You talked to me sharply and told me that I needed a nap.”

He closed his eyes and winced. “I am so sorry. God, I don’t know what happened.”

“Do you know how weird that sounded, Jeff?”

“It was automatic. For a second I swore you were Sophie.”

She turned to him with a smile. “Did you just call her _Sophie_?”

He squinted. “What? Um, look, you were acting like a child. What the hell?”

Annie smacked the pillow with her outstretched palm and looked down. “I’ve been really stressed out. I guess I snapped. Reverted to more primitive form.” She let out a low chuckle.

Jeff’s expression softened and he took her hand.

She looked up at him and smiled weakly.

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” He gave her hand a squeeze while attempting his most reassuring smile.

She gulped and regarded him with painfully open eyes. “Our lives will change. She won’t be around as much anymore. What happens when it’s just us?”

Jeff wiped a tear falling down her cheek. “It’ll never be just _us_. She’ll be back, and after awhile he might just not want her to come over as much. It’ll naturally fade out.”

She sniffed and laughed bitterly. “That makes it worse. As much as it would make me sad to have her away, if I thought he really wanted to be a good father to her, I’d feel better about it. But this way everyone’s upset and then she’ll end up feeling like….”

She gulped again and strained out the remaining words.

“Something’s wrong with her.”

He found himself forcefully saying, “We won’t let that happen.”

She shrugged. “You can’t stop it. It happened to both of us. And even your mom is _amazing_ , and you still ended up internalizing it all. She’s my baby. I didn’t want her to go through this.”

He reached over and pulled her into his chest.

She mumbled, “I need you to talk to me. You’ve been keeping secrets.”

He nodded into the top of her head and closed his eyes.

“It’s my fault.” His voice cracked.

She craned her neck to see his face. “What?”

His eyes opened and then softened, and she could have sworn she saw tears forming in the corners.

“I’m the one who told you to lawyer up and go for child support. God, Annie, I’m so sorry.”

Her lips began to tremble. Looking back down, she pushed on his chest with one hand and pressed her forehead against it. “You can’t blame yourself. You were right. Mark explained to me that in order to get State assistance, which I would have needed to do soon, Adam would have had to pay anyway. It was only a matter of time.”

Jeff smiled tightly, his chin resting lightly on top of her head. As he caressed her hair, all he could think about was the what ifs.

_What if I hadn’t been in such stupid denial about my feelings for her?_

_What if I had manned up sooner and supported her?_

_What if she had never needed to contact the asshole?_

He was conscious of a deep pit in his stomach and a fluttery sensation in his chest.

He had a stunning realization. Michelle had been right. He probably should have just broken down and proposed to her first year. That would have saved them this whole mess.

Instead of vocalizing his thoughts, he cleared his throat and said, “Maybe if it could have waited he’d have been less of a dick about it.”

She let out a quick laugh. “Can you imagine that though? The State of Colorado knocking on his door with some sort of court order? He’d have hit the roof. I think it might have been much worse.”

“Maybe. But, Annie…”

She reached up and kissed his cheek. “There’s no point. You helped me. And I really think this would have happened anyway. I don’t want you to feel guilty about it.”

He closed his eyes. “It just…hurts…you know, somewhere in here.” He motioned in a circle around his chest.

She nodded and pressed her head back down, wrapping her arms around him. “We should talk more like this. I need to know what you’re thinking.”

“I know.” He kissed the top of her head. “But let’s kick Annie Kim’s ass first.”

She snorted and looked up at him. “Really?”

“ _My_ Annie can mop the floor with that wannabe star student. You’re the real deal.”

She nodded, her eyes narrowing as she stared off into the distance. “Thank you. I’m going to channel my rage into this next part.”

She puffed out her chest and appeared to steel herself for victory.

“You’re the best.”

He leaned over and gave her a soft kiss. 

*************************

After Earth One’s successful merger with Earth Two, Real Annie, Jeff, Troy, Shirley, Pierce, and Abed high-fived and began to form some sort of fist bumping line.

Ian, sitting to the left of Professor Cligoris, gave a thumbs up to Jeff, who responded with a wink.

They were interrupted by loud and awkward chanting.

“Are those Barbie dolls?” Jeff squinted at Britta from across the room.

Annie’s mouth fell open. 

They all watched as Britta repeatedly attempted to kick over a chair.

A uniformed Chang rushed into the room. He caught Britta’s eye and they both stared for what seemed like minutes, during which the loudspeaker began to play decidedly inappropriate music for a Model UN debate.

Ian pulled at his collar and wiped his brow as he watched Chang approach Britta and continue to hold her gaze.

In a moment of sheer lunacy, even by Greendale standards, Chang pulled out his taser and pressed it to her neck. Gasps were heard around the room.

Chang reached down and caught Britta as she fell and hoisted her in his surprisingly strong arms. She looked up at him weakly and mumbled, “I knew you’d come.”

“You’re busted.”

He carried her out of the room.

“Well Bloody Hell!” 

********************************

“We need to review the audio.”

“Abed, for the thousandth time, Troy didn’t get anything on the asshole yet. He was merely laying the groundwork.”

“Yeah, man.” Troy looked over at Jeff and grinned.

Abed cocked his head to the side. “Okay. I can review alone later.”

Jeff closed his eyes. “Abed. You were in the bar the entire time, listening in. You don’t need to….”

\--“I’ll review the audio.”

“Fine.”

Troy smiled at Jeff. “Did I do good?”

“Hell yeah. Thanks.”

Troy took a deep breath and then said tentatively, “Hey, man. This first part was kinda weird. It’s like he was seeing through me or something.”

“You’re just paranoid because you’re not used to lying to people. You’ll get used to it.”

Troy frowned. “I hope I don’t. It makes me want to throw up.”

Jeff sighed as he leaned back in the bar booth and sipped his Scotch. He watched in irritation as Abed carefully inspected each French fry before he popped it in his mouth.

“It’s okay to lie for a good cause.”

“Um, okay man.”

Jeff squinted and held up his tumbler to regard the dark amber liquid. “How do you feel about Phase Two?”

Troy hunched forward and grabbed a French fry. He began to pull it apart. “I think he’ll know. I’m not the type of guy who’d do that.”

“It’ll be fine. He doesn’t know you that well.”  
  
Troy turned to him with a scowl and shoved the remnants of fries in his mouth. As he chewed, he appeared to ponder the situation.

“I don’t see why you can’t just wait for his drug test. If it’s positive then that will be enough.”

Jeff shook his head. “Nope. Cocaine clears the system too quickly for that to be reliable, plus he could always fake it somehow. We need to carry out our plan.”

“I really love Annie and Sophie.”

Jeff sipped his Scotch and placed it on the table. “So do I. That’s why we’re doing this.”

Abed studied them both from across the booth and then calmly said, “But Troy’s not good at deception. His angst is written all over his face. If we were in casting calls, I’d toss him out.”

“Abed!” Jeff glared at him.

With a whimper, Troy leaned forward and buried his head in his hands.

“He’s no good, Jeff.”

Jeff said sardonically, “Maybe we should put you in.”

“That’s an interesting idea.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “No. As much as I agree Troy needs to work on his poker face, you’d be _terrible_. Plus you have no relationship to the asshole. And one thing I’m really good at is deception. I can coach Troy.”

“Thanks man.”

“Okay, Jeff, but remember I warned you.” 

********************************

Annie looked up from her spot on the floor near Sophie’s bookshelves.

“I thought I heard you come in. Everything okay?” She regarded him with a cautious expression.

Jeff leaned against the doorway and watched as Sophie toddled over from the bookcase to him and reached up to hand him a book.

He crouched down and took it from her.

_“Da-dee go book.”_

“Thanks, munchkin.” He smirked and began to lean forward to give her a kiss, but she nodded and toddled back to the bookshelves, intent on finding another one.

Annie placed her hand near her mouth and giggled.

Jeff shrugged. He made his way over to her and sat down, resting his back and head against the wall. He let out a long sigh. “Yeah. Just some stuff with work.”

Annie hesitated for a few moments before she ventured in a shaky voice, “A messy case?” She continued to regard him carefully.

He avoided her eyes and began to flip through the picture book. “Oh yeah. But I’ve got a strategy.”

She watched him with a frown. “You think it’s solid?”

“Yeah, of course.”

She tilted her head to the side and was about to speak when Sophie toddled over toward them, a purple book clutched in her hands. As she neared, she fell forward and let the book fall from her grasp. Jeff and Annie startled and began to lurch toward her when they saw her somehow stop her momentum and stand back up.

_“Oooohhh. Don’t fall, baby.”_

Annie and Jeff exchanged incredulous looks.

Sophie nodded to herself and smiled. She bent over and picked up the book and brought it over to Annie.

Jeff mumbled, “They must say that to her at daycare.”

“Probably.” Annie laughed. She looked at Sophie and said, “Do you want to show Daddy your moves?”

Jeff sputtered, “Moves?”

Annie nodded with a grin. “Yes, she showed me some dance moves they’ve been teaching her at daycare. Or at least I assume, since I can’t figure out where else she’d learn those.”

Jeff pushed himself further near the wall with a smirk. “Oh come on, she doesn’t _dance_.”

She turned to Sophie. “Sweetie, show Daddy your moves.”

Sophie shook her head. _“No.”_

“Oh, please?”

_“No!”_ Sophie scowled.  

“Annie, she doesn’t want to show me. Munchkin, it’s okay, you don’t have to.”

Sophie glanced over at him for a brief moment and gave him a weak smile. She then turned her attention back to Annie, shoving the book on her lap.

_“Mama, you read.”_

“Of course, sweetie. Why don’t you get on my lap?”

Annie sighed and gave Jeff a shrug as she let Sophie snuggle into her. She opened up the book.

Jeff watched as Annie stifled a yawn. For the first time that evening, he really looked at her. He noticed the dark circles forming under her eyes.

He ventured, “Hey, you okay?”

She smiled tightly. “Yes. I’m just exhausted. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My legs and arms feel like lead.”

Jeff leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Hey, I’ll get her ready and put her to bed in a little bit, okay?”

“Thank you.” She reached over to him and grabbed his closest hand, holding it tightly.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Yes, Jeff. I’m just glad you’re home.” 

******************************

Jeff leaned down into the crib and kissed Sophie’s forehead.

“Good night, baby.”

_“Chin.”_

“Hm?”

_“Fee Chin.”_

“Oh okay. Good night, munchkin.”

_“Bye Bye da-dee. Nite Nite.”_

Sophie sighed and wrapped her arms around her bear.

Jeff reached down and carefully pulled up her blanket a little higher so that it was directly under her arms.

As she closed her eyes, Jeff said softly, “Nite Nite.”

He stood there a little while, watching her drift off to sleep. He fixed his eyes on the rise and fall of her little chest and the way she slowly pushed her right foot out into the air before letting it plop back down on the mattress. Despite clearly leaving her babyhood and moving into full-fledged hobtoddlerdom, she looked tiny and vulnerable.

He may have missed out on her beginnings, but he was here _now._ He was the only father that she knew.

He made a mental note to call his therapist and make an appointment. He had some thoughts he wanted to discuss which he felt couldn’t wait until next week.

He turned back to look at Sophie once more before he gently closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Troy and Abed have a housewarming party.


	13. Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Troy and Abed throw a housewarming party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: drug use, angst

Annie turned to Nancy with a sheepish look as the two of them walked into Sophie’s room.

Nancy sighed and carefully closed the door behind them.

“They’re occupied, so we’re alone for a few minutes.”

She looked at Annie expectantly.

Annie’s eyes widened and she abruptly turned away. She proceeded to scurry over to the crib and fluff the bedding.

Nancy rolled her eyes and followed her. She whispered loudly, “Annie. You seriously _didn’t_?”

At Annie’s lack of response, she gulped before continuing,  “Or….”

There was a squeak.

Annie blushed furiously and swatted a pillow. She kept her eyes on the bedding as she stammered, “No! Um, I mean, I don’t know. I haven’t.”

Nancy gave an exasperated sigh as she attempted to make eye contact with Annie.

“Oh come on. Just do it. Trust me, you’ll feel better.”

Annie shook her head almost violently as she slammed her hand against a pillow. She continued to avoid Nancy’s gaze as she said, “I can’t handle this right now. I can’t handle it if…” she trailed off and stood motionless, staring into the crib.

Nancy nodded as she placed her arm around Annie’s shoulder and pulled her into her side. “There’s nothing to worry about. You’re just stressed.”

“Right.”

“Do it.”

Annie uttered barely audibly, “I can’t right now. We have to be at the party in thirty minutes.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand if you’re late.”

Annie let out a quick laugh. She wiped her eye and turned to Nancy, who pulled her into a hug. She mumbled, “I’ll do it later.”

“Okay. But remember, you’re being silly.” 

*************************

Jeff and Annie made their way up the stairs to apartment 303. Jeff trudged behind a slowly moving Annie. He glanced down at the housewarming plant Annie insisted they gift to Abed and Troy. While he didn’t see the point in it, since he doubted the dynamic duo would be capable of taking care of a living thing, he humored Annie and didn’t put up much of an argument about it.

Annie groaned. “ _Another_ flight?”

Jeff chuckled as he playfully pushed against her lower back with his free hand. “Come on, short-legs. They’re on the third floor.”

Anne turned to face him and stuck out her tongue before resuming slogging up the steps. “This is awful. I wish they had a working elevator.”

Jeff grinned as he continued to follow her. “I think that elevator is _technically_ working. But I wouldn’t trust it.”

“Ugh.”

He frowned. “You normally don’t have a problem with taking steps. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, Jeff, I’m _fine_.”

They entered the third floor and Annie quickly shuffled ahead down the hallway.

Jeff squinted as he followed her, taking his normal wide strides and thus quickly catching up to her as she reached the door. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

She turned to look at him and opened her mouth but then shut it. She shrugged.

“Nothing. I’m just not in the mood to deal with crappy buildings. I had enough of that with Dildopolis.”

He continued to watch her with skepticism. “I thought you were going to be chipper this evening. You always seem to be when it’s Troy and Abed involved.”

Annie turned to him and rolled her eyes. “Well sometimes I don’t feel like being all perky. Excuse me if…”

In a slight panic at her irritability coupled with his tendency to want to fix things for her, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

She instinctively put her hands around him, caressing his shoulders as they both entered the kiss, the plant between them.

He felt her melt into him, a sigh escaping…

“Ahem.”

They both startled and turned to see Britta and Pierce standing there. Britta was looking at them with feigned disgust and a hint of amusement. Pierce gave a low whistle.

Jeff blushed and shoved his hands in his pockets, stepping back. He suppressed a guilty grin.

Annie shook her head and lightly smacked his elbow, smiling slyly.

Britta rolled her eyes. “God. You two are sickeningly cute. I bet you didn’t even knock on the door.” She reached past them and gave it a loud rap. 

*****************************

Annie continued to converse with Pierce and settled into a seat between him and Troy.

Jeff frowned and was about to say something when Troy turned to him with a serious expression. Troy leaned over and motioned him to come closer. Jeff reluctantly ducked his head down as Troy whispered.

Jeff scowled and then said in a low voice, “Not now. We can go over all that later. Let’s just have a good time.”

Troy nodded and gave Jeff a wink before turning his attentions back to the group.

Britta, who was seated across from Troy, watched the interaction with narrowed eyes.

Jeff looked up and saw Pierce raise the bottle of Serbian rum with a wink before placing it on the table.

He remarked sardonically, “Why is everyone winking at me? Do I ask for conspiratorial winks? Is it because I’m tall? Do I inspire great faith and confidence?”

Annie turned from Pierce and looked at Jeff with a small smile. Jeff held her gaze for a moment, feeling like a schoolboy.

She then winked at him.

Shirley shook her head and affected a judgy face.

Troy yelled, “Yahtzee!” 

************************

“Okay, starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go.”

“Just so you know Jeff, you’re now creating six different timelines.”

“Of course I am, Abed.”

He tossed the die in the air.

************************ 

Timeline 1 - Annie

Jeff watched Annie cheerfully leave to get the pizza. He may have felt a slight pit in his stomach at having set everything up so that even his own fabulous girlfriend was being taken advantage of.

Well, someone had to get the pizza.

What could he say? Old habits die hard.

And Annie, with the exception of the past twenty minutes, had been particularly irritable over the past week.   It was almost as if he couldn’t do anything right.

Which had put him in kind of an edgy mood himself. He had way too much on his mind with the whole plotting to take down the asshole, coaching Troy, and fending off Abed’s detailed questions/concerns. Plus he had to keep secrets from Annie.

And now she had gone down to get the pizza.

Crap. He was a lousy boyfriend.

Pierce then made a tasteless Eartha Kitt comment, Shirley went to check her pies, and Britta attempted to sing her heart out.

“Roxanne!”

“No!” He snapped.

“Bathroom?” Britta turned to Abed.  He nodded, and they departed down the hallway.

Jeff sighed and pulled out the Yahtzee rulebook. He wondered if he could make the pit of guilt go away if he used enough distraction.

Troy picked that moment to cast a suspicious look at Annie’s purse, which was lying half unzippered on the table. He poked at the opening in the zipper with a pencil.

“Uh, guys. What does a pregnancy test look like?”

Jeff, still frowning at the rulebook, absentmindedly said, “It’s like a thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it.”

Troy used the pencil to coax out of Annie’s purse a thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it.

“Okay, so this is definitely a pregnancy test.”

Jeff dropped the book on the table, his eyes going wide. In almost slow motion, he turned his head to see what definitely looked like a pregnancy test next to the purse.

“Whoa. Yeah, put that away.” He frantically swatted toward it.

Troy met Jeff’s terrified eyes as he shoved the test back into the purse.   His voice trembled as he said, “Sorry, man. I’m gathering you didn’t know?”

Pierce chuckled from across the table. “Well done, Winger. Congratulations.”

Jeff stared at the purse in silence.

Pierce cleared his throat and continued, “Speaking of celebrations, Troy, I have a housewarming present for you.” He reached down near his feet and picked up a large wrapped box. He placed it on the table.

Troy ignored him and kept his eyes on Jeff. He gestured toward the purse. “Jeff, what are we going to do about this?”

Jeff, who was doing his best to keep his breath deep and steady, said tersely, “There is no _we_ , Troy. I’ll talk to her later. Just please, both of you, keep your mouths shut.” He jabbed a finger in Pierce’s direction.

Pierce shrugged. “Sure. Troy, now about this present.” He continued to push the box toward him.

Troy nodded meekly at Jeff and began to sulk.

Jeff let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m going to get a drink.” He stood and hit his head on the ceiling fan.

“Ow!”

Pierce laughed. Troy resumed looking at Annie’s purse in thought.

And then Shirley picked that moment to cheerfully bring out her pies.

Jeff continued to rub his head, his eyes still on the purse. He had a million thoughts running through his head, the chief one being if Annie had actually taken the test. He was damned if he was going to go check with everyone’s eyes on him.

_But why would she keep it if it weren’t positive?_

_When was she going to tell me?_

_Was she going to tell me?_

The pit in his stomach grew even heavier as he considered that last possibility.

_No, she wouldn’t. She’d tell me._

His attention suddenly shifted to the sounds of Annie coming back into the apartment, the pizzas in her arms. He quickly walked over and took them from her.

“Here, I got these. You don’t need to carry them.” He looked at her with wide eyes.

She tilted her head up at him with a smile. “You’re sweet. Thank you.”

He gave a nod while continuing his bug-eyed gaze.

Britta then came running from the direction of the bathroom, Abed on her heels. “Pizza, pizza, me so hungry!”

Jeff, oblivious to anything else, continued to stare at Annie.

Annie turned to the group and said, “The pizza guy was super creepy.”

Jeff automatically quipped, “So you’re saying he was a pizza guy.”

“I wonder what happened in those other timelines?”

“Abed, there are no other timelines.” 

**************************

Timeline 2 - Shirley

“Don’t forget to check my pies!”

After Shirley left, Jeff turned to the group. “Remember, no one eats those pies. That woman has a baking problem.”

“Roxanne!”

“No!”

In the next several minutes, Britta had Abed show her to the bathroom, Pierce gave Troy the Norwegian troll, and Troy became distraught.

Jeff laughed but then quickly stopped when Annie shot him a glare.

He patted Troy on the shoulder. “Don’t let him get to you.” He then added sardonically, “Pierce, you’ve outdone yourself.”

Annie turned to Pierce and scowled. “Shame on you.” She turned to look at Jeff.   “Jeff, what are you going to do about this?”

He avoided her question as he said, “I’m going to get a drink. Want one?”

She shook her head.

He squinted at her. “Oh come on. Not even an Appletini? I’ll make you one myself.”

She smiled tightly and said, “No, thank you. Maybe I’ll have something later.”

“Ooookay.”

He stood.

“Ow!”

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

“I barely felt it.” He winced.

“Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.”

Annie grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder. She placed her hand on Jeff’s elbow and gently pushed him toward the hallway.

Abed and Britta suddenly appeared from the direction of the bathroom, Britta smiling with a vacant look in her eyes.

Shirley then came back into the apartment with the pizzas. “Did someone remember to take out my pies?”

“Pizza pizza….”

Shirley sniffed the air.

Her eyes widened. “Oh no!”

She frantically handed the pizzas to the group and ran into the kitchen. Taking out her burnt pies from the oven, she turned and scowled at them.

Jeff held his own as he said evenly, “You’re not allowed to have baking things as an identity.”

Shirley continued to scowl as she said, “Well excuse me for being the only married woman in a group of horny toads who sit around all night and make googly eyes at each other without even having the decency to make their union right with the Lord.”

She narrowed her eyes on Jeff and Annie.

Jeff and Annie exchanged annoyed looks.

Annie turned to Shirley and said sharply, “Shirley, you need to stop with this. Jeff and I don’t need to be married. It wouldn’t change anything for us, and people get divorced all the time. So please knock it off.”

Jeff felt something shift in his stomach but chose to ignore it. He found himself quickly and perhaps unwisely saying, “Oh come on Shirley, you’re just being all judgy with us because you and Andre are still not even technically married. You’re _divorced_. I think _you’re_ the one who wants to be married. So maybe you should take this up with Andre. Or my guess is you’ve already hinted enough about it but he has no interest in making things official with you.”

Shirley gasped, as did the rest of the group.

Jeff gulped and watched as she began to cry.

She then ran out of the apartment.

Everyone’s eyes fell on Jeff.

Abed cocked his head to the side. “I wonder what happened in those other timelines?”

***************************

 Timeline 3 - Pierce

Pierce rose to get the pizza, making an inappropriate joke about Eartha Kitt on his way out.

Shirley left to check on her pies.

“Roxanne!”

“No!”

Abed escorted Britta to the bathroom.

Annie sat silently as she watched Troy and Jeff exchange strange looks. She could have sworn Jeff then kicked Troy under the table.

“Um, guys, do you want to let me know what you two have been up to?”

She watched as both of their eyes widened and then they quickly attempted to cover themselves with various grunts and throat clearing.

Annie huffed. “You know, you both are being ridiculous. I’m not stupid. I know you’ve been out drinking together. Shall we have it out? Let’s try _honesty_.”

Her eyes fell to Troy.

Troy whimpered and pulled out his cigarette case. “Um, I need to go to the bathroom.” He rose and almost ran out of the room.

Annie turned to glare at Jeff.

He watched her, his expression stone-faced.

“Jeff.”

xxxx

Troy knocked on the bathroom door and then entered to find Britta frantically fanning a funny smell out the open window.

He sighed and leaned against the sink. He opened his cigarette case and Britta attempted to light his cigarette before she stopped in confusion when he began to eat it.

Crunching, Troy said, “Why is Jeff trying to get me to be a good liar? It’s not who I am.”

xxxx

Annie continued to regard Jeff sternly. “You’ve been scheming with Troy. It has to do with Adam, right?”

He avoided her question as he said, “I’m going to get a drink. Want one?”

She shook her head.

He squinted at her. “Oh come on. Not even an Appletini? I’ll make you one myself.”

She smiled tightly and said, “No, thank you. Maybe I’ll have something later.”

“Ooookay.”

He stood.

“Ow!”

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

“I barely felt it.” He winced.

“Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.”

Annie grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder. She placed her hand on Jeff’s elbow and gently pushed him toward the hallway.

Abed appeared in their path. “Britta’s in the bathroom.”

They shrugged and reoriented toward the kitchen.

Shirley looked up from her pies to see Jeff rubbing his head. “Oh no, what happened?”

“Minor head wound. If there’s an abrasion we’ll clean it with iodine and apply ice.”

“You’re good at taking care of me, Annie.” He grinned nervously.

“Thanks. Maybe you could trust me then with other things.”

xxxxx

Britta appeared to contemplate Troy’s question, nodding slowly. “Jeff’s always been a jagwad. Sure, Annie’s been a good influence on him and he’s half decent nowadays, but he’s spent years lying to people. He probably thinks he’s doing you a favor by teaching you how to lie.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“You don’t have to be like that to be a man. We can use more honest guys in the world.”

“You’re pretty cool, Britta.” 

xxxxx

Pierce returned with the pizzas. Shirley came from the kitchen. Jeff and Annie followed, holding hands.

Britta gleefully grabbed a slice and began to chow down. Troy, a broad grin on his face, joined her.

Abed regarded the two of them suspiciously.

“I wonder what happened in those other timelines?” 

************************

Timeline 4 – Britta

Britta left to get the pizza. Shirley went to check on her pies.

There was an ensuing awkward silence around the table.

Troy broke it. “You guys are my best…”

Jeff, feeling little patience for Troy’s carefree nature at the moment – _didn’t he know things were serious these days?_ \- decided to remove himself. He turned to Annie.

“I’m going to get a drink. Want one?”

Annie shook her head.

He squinted at her. “Oh come on. Not even an Appletini? I’ll make you one myself.”

She smiled tightly and said, “No, thank you. Maybe I’ll have something later.”

“Ooookay.”

He stood.

“Ow!”

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

“I barely felt it.” He winced.

“Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.”

Annie grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder. She placed her hand on Jeff’s elbow and gently pushed him toward the hallway.

xxxx

Pierce watched with growing jealousy as Troy and Abed began to banter. He produced the wrapped present and encouraged Troy to open it. 

xxxx

Jeff sat against the sink as Annie inspected his head wound.

“You’re good at taking care of me, Annie.”

“Thanks. Maybe you could trust me then with other things.”

He smiled slightly. “Sometimes we need to keep things. For um, good reasons.”

She sighed and regarded him with a wearied expression. “You need to tell me things. I can guess, so just admit it. This is about Adam.”

He groaned and continued to deflect. “Come on. You’ve been weird too. Care to fess up?”

She gulped and began to busy herself with inspecting the abrasion. “I don’t know what you mean.”

He looked at the floor with the internal excuse of allowing her a better look at his wound. He said in a low voice, “If my plan doesn’t work, I have another idea.”

Annie’s hand stilled on his head. “Jeff.”

“You’re important to me. I love you.” He brought his head back up and looked at her intently.

She smiled. “I know.”

He continued to regard her with a seriousness she hadn’t seen from him before.

“Annie, look, this might sound crazy, but we could always…”

They were interrupted by Troy’s screams.

xxxx

Troy continued to shriek as Pierce held the Norwegian troll aloft. Abed shirked in the corner.

Jeff, Annie, and Shirley watched in bewilderment.

Britta picked that moment to return with the pizza delivery guy. Both looked extremely relaxed and sleepy.

“Guys, this is Toby. We’re getting married.”

“I wonder what happened in those other timelines?”

******************** 

Timeline 5: The Darkest Timeline

Troy jumped up. “I’m gonna go as fast as I can so I don’t miss anything.”

He almost ran out of the apartment.

Shirley excused herself to check on her pies.

“Roxanne!”

“No!”

Abed escorted Britta to the bathroom.

Pierce, with little to occupy himself since he couldn’t proceed with his Norwegian Troll revenge, folded his hands and placed them on the table.

“Jeffrey, tell us about your father.”

Jeff avoided his question as he said to Annie, “I’m going to get a drink. Want one?”

She shook her head.

He squinted at her. “Oh come on. Not even an Appletini? I’ll make you one myself.”

She smiled tightly and said, “No, thank you. Maybe I’ll have something later.”

“Ooookay.”

He stood.

“Ow!”

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

“I barely felt it.” He winced.

“Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.”

Annie grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder. She placed her hand on Jeff’s elbow and gently pushed him toward the hallway. As she followed him, she tripped on the loose Raiders scale model boulder. She fell into the coffee table and her half-opened purse as well as the Serbian rum flew through the air.

Pierce instinctively sprang to his feet to help her.

The rum crashed in front of the diorama, shattering the bottle’s contents onto the floor.

As the purse hit the ground, a thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it landed at Pierce’s feet.

Jeff crouched down and attempted to make sure Annie was okay.   She turned and muttered, “Ouch. I’m fine.”

Jeff smiled with relief and placed a kiss to her temple.

Pierce stared down at the thin piece of plastic.

“Annie, dear, are you expecting again?” He looked over at her with a kindly expression.

From her position seated on the floor, Annie squeaked.

Jeff followed her horrified gaze toward the plastic object.

“Well crap.”

He stared at it for several moments, noticing Annie’s breathing becoming more frantic as he held her hand.

She turned to him, a panicked expression on her face.

She said quickly, “I haven’t taken it yet! I’m probably not, I mean, that would be _crazy_. Nancy thinks it’s stress.”

Jeff nodded, his eyes growing wide. “Right.”

She continued in a nervously giddy tone, “I put it in my purse because I didn’t want you to find it at home. I didn’t want to worry you about it.”

Jeff continued to nod absentmindedly. “Right.” He then gulped and leaned over toward his jacket, which was draped over his chair. He rummaged in the inside pocket and pulled out a small black box.

As it dawned on her what he was about to do, Annie began to violently shake her head. “Jeff! No! No!”

He pivoted back to her, this time in a kneel. Holding the box out to her, he opened it to reveal a white gold ring with a small diamond in the center.

Annie stopped protesting and froze.

He wiped his brow and began to ramble. “Crap. I wasn’t going to do this now. I just picked this up earlier today and was going to hide it up in the closet where your short legs can’t reach. It was my Plan B. I don’t even believe in the institution of marriage. But who are we thinking? Plan A’s not going to work. Abed’s right, Troy can’t do it.”

“Jeff, what plan?!?” Her eyes widened even further.

His voice trembling, he said, “You’re keeping it, right? I mean I know maybe it’s crap timing, but look, we can do this.”

She smiled softly at him. “Jeff.”

“Marry me?”

She took a deep breath before she asked in a weary tone, “You don’t believe in the institute of marriage?”

“Hell no, it’s not a concept I can really pretend to get behind.”

She narrowed her eyes, her voice rising in frustration. “Then why on earth would you ask me to marry you? _Twice_?”

Pierce continued to watch them, reaching over to grab some popcorn out of a bowl.

Jeff sputtered from his kneeling position, “It’s a way that makes sense, _legally_. We get married. I adopt Sophie. We sever Adam’s parental rights. Then he can’t take her.”

Annie wiped a tear from her eye and shifted her position on the floor, tucking her legs to her side. She said in a low voice, “You want to adopt Sophie?”

“Yes.”

She nodded for a moment and then looked up at him. “And what makes you think Adam’s going to sign away his parental rights?”

Jeff frowned. “We’ll _make_ the asshole sign them away.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” She began to cry softly.

“Annie…”

“That would be a huge thing. I don’t think he’s just going to do that, and I don’t know if I could bear to tell Sophie her biological father signed away his rights to her. Oh my god.”

Jeff looked at her in puzzlement. “But then he won’t take her.”

She continued, her voice becoming even softer, “Do you realize in all of this you haven’t even said you _want_ to marry me?”

“Annie…”

“No.”

He cleared his throat and attempted a more even tone. “But look, if you’re pregnant, than we should, um, probably do that anyway, right?”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m probably not. And why would you do this _again_? Please.”

Jeff snapped the ring box closed. He pivoted back to his jacket and shoved it into the inside pocket.

“Fine.”

He turned back to face her.

“What, I’m not good enough for you, is that it? You’d rather have that douche be her father? I’m good enough for the day to day stuff but not when it counts?”

She looked at him in shock. “Jeff, that’s not what I meant. And the day to day stuff _is_ the most important thing. It counts more than anything.”

Ignoring her words, Jeff rambled on, “I took care of her half the time over the summer. I change her diapers. I feed her. I bathe her. I engage in seriously strange elaborate pretend play with her on a regular basis. I know all her toys’ names. I comfort her when she’s scared. But you won’t even let me adopt her. Christ.”

Her voice rising, Annie said, “That’s not fair! Of course I appreciate you! You’re amazing with her! I just don’t want my baby to know the pain of having her other father sign her away!”

Matching her volume, Jeff said, “It would be best if he did! He’s an asshole!”

At their cries, Shirley came running out of the kitchen. Britta and Abed stood in the hallway, watching the spectacle.

Pierce suddenly started to clutch at his chest.

Annie cried out, “And you don’t even want to marry _me_!”

“Well I don’t think you want to have _my_ baby! I’m not good enough for Sophie and now you’re probably going to try to get rid of my biological child!”

Shirley clutched the cross around her neck and gasped.

Annie yelled, “Oh my god Jeff! You’re being such an _ass!_ ”

Shirley watched as Pierce silently fell forward. “Pierce!” She ran over to him. “I think he’s having a heart attack! Abed, call 911!”

Britta, slow on the uptake, sputtered out, “Annie’s preggers?” As she spoke, a joint fell out of her mouth, lighting the rum on fire.

Jeff promptly pulled Annie away from the flames and grabbed a blanket. He began to beat at the fire in an attempt to smother it. Annie stood in shock, watching Pierce writhe on the floor in agony.

At that moment, Troy re-entered the apartment with the pizza.

He saw the Norwegian Troll doll sitting amongst the flames.

He screamed. 

*************************

Timeline 6: Abed

“I’m on it.” Abed held out his hand to collect pizza money.

Jeff sighed and handed him a wad of cash. Abed accepted it with a nod and left the apartment.

“Roxanne!”

“No!”

Britta mumbled something and then announced she was heading to the bathroom.

Troy watched her go with a frown. He said to Jeff, “You don’t allow people to have fun.”

Jeff avoided addressing his remark as he said to Annie, “I’m going to get a drink. Want one?”

She shook her head.

He squinted at her. “Oh come on. Not even an Appletini? I’ll make you one myself.”

She smiled tightly and said, “No, thank you. Maybe I’ll have something later.”

“Ooookay.”

He stood.

“Ow!”

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

“I barely felt it.” He winced.

“Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.”

Annie grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder. She placed her hand on Jeff’s elbow and gently pushed him toward the hallway.

Troy said, “Britta’s in the bathroom.”

They shrugged and reoriented toward the kitchen.

Shirley looked up from her pies to see Jeff rubbing his head. “Oh no, what happened?”

“Minor head wound.”

xxxxx

Britta emerged from the bathroom feeling relaxed. She sniffed the air.

“What smells amazing?”

Shirley giddily ran over to her with her pies.

xxxxx

“You’re good at taking care of me, Annie.”

“Thanks. Maybe you could trust me then with other things.”

xxxxx

Pierce pushed the wrapped present toward Troy.

“Thanks, Pierce. And I just wanted to say thanks for letting me live with you.”

Pierce began to have second thoughts.

xxxxx

“You’re very important to me. I love you.”

xxxxx

“Crap, I’m not supposed to eat your stuff. I’m really high.” 

xxxxx

“Okay, you’re right. I’ve been keeping something from you too. But I didn’t want you to freak out.”

“Annie, you can tell me anything.”

She closed her eyes and steadied herself.

Jeff watched her but was too overcome by the rustling in his stomach again.

He rambled, “But before you say anything, I’ve been feeling this really strange feeling in my gut. I think it’s guilt. God, Annie, I’m sorry. I’ve been lying to you. But it was for a really good reason. But you know what, it doesn’t even matter now.   I had this stupid plan to get rid of Adam. But Abed’s right, it’s not going to work.”

“Jeff….”

“Hear me out.” 

xxxxx

Pierce and Troy yanked at the box.

xxxxx

Shirley and Britta raised their voices, each accusing the other of their respective drug and baking habits. 

xxxxx

“But I saw my therapist the other day, and it all became clear to me. You know all my weirdness about wanting another kid? I don’t even think I want that.”

Annie squeaked.

Oblivious to her reaction, he continued, “I think I’ve been feeling insecure about my role with Sophie, like I felt I wasn’t her _real father_. I know having a biological child together won’t fix that. And really, let’s be realistic here Annie, we can only handle one. We have a small apartment, and it’ll take awhile for me to get back on track career-wise, and you need to _start_ your career. It would be insane.”

Annie paled. She said softly, “Right. Insane.”

He took a deep breath. “And I’ve been having this idea lately. Maybe, um, what do you think, maybe I could adopt Sophie?”

He looked at her tentatively.

She tilted her head in surprise. “You want to adopt her?”

He nodded and then resumed,  “Look, I know you said before I impulsively proposed, and I don’t want to do that this time, but you see, I think we should probably get married. And then it would make sense for me as Sophie’s legal stepfather to adopt her. And we can have Adam sign away his parental rights. We can make the case to him that it’s in her best interests. And then he won’t be on the hook financially.”

Annie appeared to take a minute to mull over this information.

“That would be a huge thing.” She looked up at him. “You’d be responsible for her. Like, financially. Until she’s eighteen.”

He nodded. “That’s fine.”

She arched a brow. “You’re sure you don’t want another baby? I thought you wanted her to have a sibling.”

Jeff shrugged. “I was being stupid. And insecure.”

She grimaced and shook her head. “Right. Stupid.”

He squinted at her. “Why do I get the feeling I’m missing something? What’s wrong?”

She sighed and threw her hands out to her sides. “I don’t know, Jeff. You _interrupted me_ when I was trying to tell you. I’m really not sure, but, um, I’ve been kinda freaking out.”

“Hm?”

“I might be pregnant.”

“Well crap.” 

xxxxxx

Troy muscled the box from Pierce. In the process, the lid flew off to reveal the Norwegian troll.

Troy gasped.

Abed re-entered the apartment. He placed the pizza box on the table and regarded his friends as they all gathered in the living room.

Shirley and Britta continued huffing at each other and Troy looked at Pierce with a scowl.

Annie crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from Jeff, who stared at the floor with wide eyes.

Abed chewed on a slice of pizza.

“I found a nickel.”

***************** 

Timeline 7: Abed catches the die

“I don’t think you should.”

After Abed lectured them on the implications of die rolls, he summarized the various traits present in the group. Finally he turned to Jeff.

“Jeff will forever remain a conniving son of a bitch.”

Jeff laughed half-smugly and half-nervously. Annie’s mouth fell open.

In order to avoid her scorn, Jeff rose and promptly hit his head on the ceiling fan.

“Ow!”

Everyone laughed except Annie, who sprang to her feet and rushed over to him. She grabbed his arm with one hand and reached upward toward his head with a look of concern.

“Barely felt it.” He rubbed his head and winced.

Annie gave him a questioning look.

He shrugged and then motioned for her to let go of him. With a sigh, he left the apartment to fetch the pizza.

“Roxanne!” 

xxxxx

When Jeff returned, he was presented with the sight of the entire study group singing and dancing. Everyone looked happy and relaxed.

Abed turned to Britta, “You should move in.”

Troy nodded enthusiastically.

Britta smiled. “Really? Do you guys accept cats?”

“Sure.”

Pierce unobtrusively threw the present in the trash.

Jeff opened up the pizza box and grabbed a slice. He began to chew on it and continued to watch the dancing. His eyes fell to Annie, who was employing her cutest dance moves, bouncing up and down as she twirled to the music.

He realized in that moment that he didn’t even care about the calories on his pizza. He had been a fitful of anxiety for the past few weeks, but in the present it didn’t make a lot of sense.

He was aware he should probably take his therapist’s advice to not over think things. He still had time to work on his plan, and if it didn’t work, he’d deal with it then.

His eyes shifted to his jacket on the chair. He knew in his heart Annie would say no if he asked her now. She’d tell him he was panicking. She probably wouldn’t even believe that he wanted to marry her.

_But I do, don’t I?_

He continued to watch her dance, a bright smile on her face. The first smile he had seen in a couple weeks. And it wasn’t one of her megawatt smiles, the one she affected to please other people. It was genuine.

_Yes, I want to marry her._

_But not now. It’s too soon._

He knew there was no need to rush into anything out of fear. He could handle the Adam situation. He’d come up with something.

And when he and Annie were ready, he’d propose. And then he’d talk to her about adopting Sophie. 

*****************************

Annie let the music and her friends carry her away from her worries. She felt herself relax into the moment, a warmth spreading through her chest as she allowed Troy to give her a twirl.

“May I cut in?”

She looked up to see Jeff with a lazy grin on his face. He held out his hand. 

*******************************

As Jeff escorted Nancy out of their apartment, Annie locked herself in the bathroom. She pulled the thin plastic object out of her purse.

She took a deep breath and steadied herself. 

*****************************

Jeff looked up from his phone as she entered the bedroom. He was splayed out on the bed, already in his pajama bottoms and a grey t-shirt.

“Munchkin’s sleeping soundly.”

“I know. I just checked on her.”

“You okay? You were in there awhile.”

She shrugged and walked slowly over to the dresser. She pulled out a drawer and found her tank top and pajama shorts. She brought the clothing over to the bed and tossed them on the comforter.

“Yeah. I’m good.   Really good, actually.”

He watched her curiously.

“You’re grinning. What is it?”

“Nothing.” She took a deep breath and began to take off her dress.

Jeff remarked with a sardonic tone, “It was a pretty good party. Even with the toilet olives.”

She laughed as she began to put on her pajamas.

“It was. Thanks for not making fun of them for that.”

“They were good olives. I had a few. Gave me something else to do in there.”

“You did not!” She crawled on the bed and swatted his chest.

He smirked and grabbed her outstretched hand. “Seriously. You seem much more relaxed than you have been in awhile. I’m glad.”

“I guess I needed a night of dancing and Yahtzee.” She laid down on the bed and pulled him over her.

He leaned down and began to kiss her. She smiled against his lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One shot “Blacklight” was posted the other day. Exists in this universe at this point in the timeline. Britta focus. What really happened at Neil’s party?


	14. Growing Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie and Jeff deal with their fathers, and Sophie begins to grow up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff, some angst. Warning for mentions of alcoholism and physical abuse.

Annie closed the laptop and pushed it away from her on the bed. She shifted Sophie on her lap and gave her a kiss.

“Good job, sweetie. That was so nice of you to talk to Grandpa.”

_“Good gob mama.”_ She turned to look up at Annie and shoved her bear in her face. _“You pay wid bah. Und da-dee go rudie und baby.”_

Annie chuckled and took the bear from Sophie. “Yes, why don’t you go find Daddy and ask him where Ruthie is?”

Sophie nodded and, with some assistance, slipped off Annie’s lap and made her way toward the bedroom door. She looked up and pouted.

_“Mama, open doh!”_ She began to reach with frustration toward the handle but couldn’t quite reach it.

Annie quickly rose and shuffled over to her. She opened it, and Sophie charged through, disappearing down the hallway.

Annie laughed as she heard a loud, _“Da-dee!”_

“Ahoy, munchkin!”

She carefully closed the door again and laid down on the bed. She picked up her phone and sighed as she read the incoming text:

[Dad]: Please consider what I said. We can start over. You and Sophie don’t have to worry about anything anymore.

She gulped down a sob and turned to bury her face in a pillow.

**********************************

Annie sat on a barstool at the kitchen counter. She watched with a sly grin as Jeff poured the liqueur into the shaker.

“God, I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Annie laced her fingers together on the counter. “You said you’d do anything for me.”

He continued to look at her with an affected weariness as he began to shake the ingredients together. “You’re _abusing_ me.”

“Sure I am.”

He grinned and held her gaze for some sigh-worthy moments before he turned to pour her drink into the waiting chilled glass. He reached for an apple slice and garnished it.

“Voila.” He carefully placed the drink in front of her.

She glanced at it, gave a satisfied sigh, and then looked up with a bright smile. “You made me an Appletini.”

“You look very pleased.”

She battered her eyelashes. “I am.”

He licked his lips and turned to pour himself two fingers worth of Scotch into his tumbler.

“To us.”

“To us.”

Annie let the liquid pour down her throat. She sighed in satisfaction.

“That’s really good. How did you learn how to make these?”

Jeff scoffed. “I never actually made one before. But the recipe seemed simple enough.”

She puffed out her chest as she watched the green liquid swirl around in the glass. “You love me.”

“God help me, I do.”

She sipped her drink and began to spin around on the stool.

Jeff placed his glass on the counter and leaned on his elbows to watch her. He frowned and reached across to gently catch her elbow as she came around again.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

He smiled slightly. “How did things go with the Skype session?”

She shrugged and took another sip of her drink. She appeared to take a moment to steady herself before she replied, “It was okay. He’s greyer. But we talked, and um, it went fine.”

Jeff nodded. “And the Sophie part?”

She chuckled. “Oh, he _loved_ her. She said some very interesting things to him. I’m still not sure if she knew what was really going on. But she was pretty chatty. Well, you know how she is these days.”

Jeff let out a low laugh. “Yeah, I’m sure she was adorable.”

Annie took a much longer sip from her glass.   Jeff watched her with curiosity as she closed her eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay for it to be weird. You must have a lot of mixed feelings. I know I’d…”

She interjected, “He asked me to move to Virginia.” She opened her eyes and gave a wearied smile. “He says he wants to make things up to me. Have Sophie and me live with him and his wife, at least for while I’m in school. He says he can probably put in a word to get me a transfer.”

“Annie.”

“I know. I told him there’s no way I’m doing that.”

“Christ.”

She shrugged. “Part of me is glad he feels guilty. But it doesn’t change anything. I don’t really know him anymore. And I’m certainly not going to play nice with my supposed stepmother. Did you know she’s been sending me photos and crap from her facebook account?”

Jeff cringed in surprise at her swearing.

…”My dad uses her account sometimes too since he doesn’t have one of his own. Half the time I’m not sure which one I’m talking to. But it’s just so strange. I mean how am I supposed to be all excited for them when they go on a trip? Or do cute things? Part of me wants to throw up.”

Jeff nodded and looked at her in sympathy.

She continued, “I want to work on things with him, but he can’t just force an intimacy or trust that I don’t feel. And really, I’m not sure if I’ll ever trust him. But maybe things can be better than they have been.”

“That’s probably a lot more realistic than you all singing Kumbaya together.”

Annie frowned and placed her drink on the counter. She appeared to study it for some moments before she looked up at him and said, “You should probably know he had you investigated. He knows everything. Your age. Your career situation.”

Jeff paled and then sputtered, “The hell now what?”

She nodded with a grimace. “He was pretty judgmental about it. Said he didn’t like the idea of me being with an older guy. Said it was probably his fault since obviously I was looking for a _father figure_ …”

“Crap.”

…”So I told him to knock it off and explained, _not that I really needed to_ , that I love you and that we were both aware of how our relationship may look to him but that I don’t care what he thinks.”

Jeff closed his eyes. “God, Annie, I’m sorry.”

She muttered under her breath, “Plus Pierce would be a much more likely father figure candidate.”

Jeff’s eyes startled open.

She waived a hand in the air as she stated, “So I’m pretty sure that’s part of his plan to have me move to Virginia. So that I get away from you. And I think he sees Sophie as a second chance or something. But of course it’s not that simple.”

“Of course it isn’t. God, I still can’t believe he had me investigated.”

Annie suddenly giggled. “I can. You probably had someone following you around for a couple weeks too.”

Jeff tilted his head. “Hm?”

Her eyes glimmered under the counter lights. “I haven’t told you. My father’s in the FBI. That’s the reason he moved away.”

“Well crap.” 

******************************

Jeff carefully placed Sophie in her crib. As usual, he tucked the blanket underneath her arms and made sure her bear and sippy cup were at her side.

She looked up at him and smiled.

_“Nite nite da-dee.”_

“Have a good nap, munchkin. See you in a little bit.” He gave her a kiss on her forehead. Well aware that if he lingered she’d make some protest, he made his way toward the door.

As he began to close it, she shouted, _“Da-dee! Keep doh open!”_

He sighed and walked back over to the crib. He placed his hands on his hips and attempted a Sophie-version of an authoritarian tone. _Well, he wasn’t a monster._

“We’ve been over this. Daddy closes the door during naptime. We need to have it nice and quiet in here.”

She looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes. _“Fee nod dak.”_

He shook his head and patted down her blanket over her tummy. “I’ll put the night light on.”

Her eyes opened wide and her little mouth began to form a pout.

_“No da-dee. You keep doh open. Peas.”_

He squinted at her. “I think that’s the first time you said _please_ spontaneously. So you _do_ have manners. You just _choose_ not to use them.”

He let out a wearied sigh and looked up at the ceiling. “Fine. I’ll leave it a crack open. Okay?”

She smiled and then shoved her thumb in her mouth. 

********************************

He tried not to think about how easily the baby hobbit could manipulate him. Before Greendale he had never realized he was susceptible to Disney eyes.

Those huge, blue, pleading eyes.

He was glad Annie wasn’t home to tease him about it.   She had gone out to lunch with Britta and Shirley. There was also some vague plan of perhaps going back to Britta’s apartment and organizing things for her upcoming move into Casa de Trobed.

_Casa de Troabeditta? Casa de Brittabedtroy? Casa de Troberry._

_Yes. Casa de Troberry._

He smirked to himself and flicked on the living room television, making sure to keep the volume low. He began to scroll through the channels, searching for something to capture his interest while he avoided his math homework.

He ignored a thud he assumed was from his annoying neighbors and finally settled on a baking show. The chef appeared to be discussing how to make the ‘world’s best blueberry pancakes.

_Ha. I’ll show Annie._

He leaned back on the couch, ready to engage in constructive procrastination.

He was barely aware of a rustling sound followed by more thumps. He turned to the side as he spied a blob of curls to his left.

“Hey munchkin.”

_“Hi da-dee.”_

A few beats followed before he startled in comprehension.

“Wait, what the hell are you doing here? I put you down for a nap!”

She smiled at him and attempted to swing a chubby leg up on the couch.

_“Oooohh da-dee go tee vee.”_  

************************

Annie laughed as she and Britta made their way into the apartment.

“So I told him he should do the decent thing and have him move back in with him. The guy’s been living in the air vents, and this whole arrangement with the Dean makes no fucking sense.”

“You think he’s going to actually take him back in? Come on, Britta.”

“Hey I think he’s an ass too for abandoning those crabs, but maybe he’s just going through something you know? He was pretty nice to Troy’s monkey. And his wife kicked him out. And the guy’s obviously a little unhinged.”

“Right, which is why…”

“Annie, we have to talk.”

Annie turned in bewilderment as Jeff stood between them and the living room, Sophie in his arms. His eyes were wide.

Annie tilted her head and regarded them for a moment before she said, “Well I missed you too.”

_“Mama mith. Hi mama._ ”

Annie smiled at Sophie and then moved her attention back to Jeff’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“Hey jagwad.”

Jeff ignored Britta and stated to Annie in a slightly cracking voice, “We have a problem.”

Annie opened her eyes more and gulped. “Did something happen?”

“She got out. She’s free.”

“I don’t understand.”

He bit his lip and then said, “She sprung out of prison, Annie. She got out of her crib. God help us.” He closed his eyes with a pained expression.

Annie placed her hand near her mouth. “Oh! She got out of her crib? Already?!?”

Jeff nodded and opened his eyes.   “And she planned it out. She asked me to leave the door open. So I cracked it. She must have been pretty confident she could do it. She’s a criminal mastermind is what she is.”

“Jeff, please don’t be so melodramatic. We knew this would happen eventually.”

He reached for her hand with his free one and began to lightly pull her with him as he walked further into the apartment.

“Here, you have to see this. She’ll show you how she does it.”

Annie giggled. “Really?”

“Oh yes.”

Britta shrugged and followed them down the hallway. She sighed loudly as she said, “My god Jeff, you’re acting like it’s the end of the world. So what if she got out of her crib? You shouldn’t be discouraging her independence.”

“Can it, Britta.”

“Jerk.”

“Guys! Please stop it.”

_“Guyz! Top it!”_

They entered Sophie’s room. Jeff let go of Annie’s hand and, with a studious expression, stood Sophie in her crib. He leaned down and squinted at her while he suppressed a grin. “You ready, Hobscaper?”

_“Ya da-dee!”_

“Okay, show mommy and auntie Britta.”

Sophie nodded and then proceeded to grab at the top of the rails, raising one leg, pulling upward, and eventually climbing over the top.

Annie instinctively reached toward her, but Jeff placed a hand on her arm. “She’s okay. She’s shown me three times.”

Annie gasped as Sophie firmly landed her feet on the floor.

_“Ta da! Mama! Tit-ta! Ta-da! Fee fee!”_

Annie smiled and crouched down, giving Sophie a hug. She looked up at Jeff and rolled her eyes. “Ta da? She’s free? Why do I get the feeling she was coached on that part?”

Jeff crossed his arms over his chest and feigned nonchalance. “Well we had to make it memorable.”  
  
“I don’t think I’m going to forget our baby getting out of her crib. Oh my god, Jeff, what are going to do?” She placed a hand over her mouth.

He shrugged. “Lock up our valuables. Never be alone again.”

Annie continued to laugh and gave Sophie a kiss.

Britta frowned from her spot in the doorway. “So what does this mean? She can’t use a crib anymore? What happens next?”

Jeff sighed as he leaned against the wall, his arms still folded. He tilted his head toward the crib. “It means I _transform_ this sucker before tonight. And probably go find my sleeping bag.”

*****************************

Jeff chased Sophie through Dorie’s kitchen. Dorie turned her attentions from Annie seated across from her to the spectacle of Sophie’s giggling.

_“Gamma! Hep!”_

Dorie reached down and pulled Sophie to her lap. “There there, dear. You’re safe with Grandma.”

Sophie buried her face into Dorie with more giggling.

Hank slid into the kitchen cabinets with a soft yelp.

Dorie smiled and kissed the top of Sophie’s head. She looked up at Jeff, who had turned away and was now searching for a mug in the cupboard.

“I need coffee if I want to keep up with her.”

“Yes, dear. The coffee maker’s…”

\---“I know where the coffee maker is. I’ve known since I was four.”

“You always did want to try coffee.” Dorie turned back to Annie and said with an exaggerated serious expression, “You should have seen him, always trying to get my coffee. But I told him it would stunt his growth. Maybe I should have let him have some.”

“Mom!”

She kept a straight face. “Well it couldn’t have hurt you, dear. Maybe you wouldn’t have to duck your head whenever you came into the kitchen.”

Annie laughed as she watched Sophie turn outward from Dorie and reach to inspect Dorie’s mug of coffee.

Dorie adeptly slid it toward the middle of the table.

Sophie pouted.

“So how’s the big girl doing in her own _bed_ now? That’s quite the milestone.” Dorie gave Sophie a kiss near her ear.

Annie grinned. “She’s still figuring it out. We’ve been sleeping on the floor in her room, trying to get her used to it.”

“Oh my. She won’t let you leave.”

“She’ll let us leave all right but then she follows us back to our room. It’s a lot of fun.”

Dorie smirked and turned her head. “Jeffrey.”

He sat down at the table and sipped his coffee. Sophie watched him with intense interest from Dorie’s lap.

Jeff sighed. “And I told Annie I can just sleep on the floor. That way she won’t get used to both of us being in there. Why would she ever want to change it? It’s like we’re her hostages.”

“I see dear. That’s sounds very _plausible_.”

Annie watched their interplay and smiled. “We’re going to phase it out. But I just don’t want her to be scared. She’s afraid of the dark.”

Jeff mumbled as he sipped his coffee, “In my opinion, the toddler bed’s too low and the rail guards aren’t high enough. She’s got free rein now.”

Annie said in a low voice, “You’re describing putting her back in a _crib_. Obviously that doesn’t work.” She nudged his foot with hers.

He suppressed a grin.

Dorie shifted Sophie on her lap. “You figured it out when you were little. You didn’t like the dark either but you stayed put. I remember I just left you and you were fine.”

Annie watched as Jeff appeared to tense slightly. He shifted his posture back in the chair and drank some more coffee. He kept his eyes on the mug as he placed it back on the table. “Well where would I have gone? It’s not like Bill would have let me come in with you.”

Dorie pet Sophie’s head and winced. “Jeffrey, I…”

He cut her off. “You know what, it doesn’t matter.” He caught Sophie’s eye, and his tone became more playful as he said, “What does matter is that I eat a munchkin today. I’m really hungry.”

Sophie’s eyes widened and she did a little bounce on Dorie’s lap. _“Uh oh! No da-dee!”_ She proceeded to scramble down and run out of the room.

Jeff looked at Dorie and Annie and shrugged. He got up to follow her.

“Have fun, dear.”

Annie watched him leave, conscious of a mixed feeling of warmth and sadness. She sighed. “He’s so good with her. Adam will never be that understanding. When I told him about the crib, he didn’t seem to realize the implications for her staying with him. He can’t just put her somewhere and go to bed. He’ll probably need to have her bed right near him. He doesn’t have a separate room for her anyway.”

Dorie frowned. “Does he even have a toddler bed?”

Annie began to trace some droplets of coffee around the top of her mug. “Not yet. I told him I’d go with him to find one. I want to make sure she has everything she needs.”

Dorie arched a brow. “This isn’t very good timing though, is it? She doesn’t feel comfortable sleeping in her own room as it is.”

Annie sighed. “I know. I told him we should wait a little while. And he said okay. But we haven’t hammered out the details yet. I’m hoping to stall until after the holidays. And in the meantime, we’ll probably just have her go over there during the day for a couple hours. And I’m going to insist he take a child CPR class. And he has to prove to me he can change a diaper.”

Dorie nodded and sipped her coffee. “That seems sensible. She’s so small. Believe it or not, Jeffrey was small too once. I wish I could have camped out on his floor for as long as it took for him to feel secure. I’d give anything to go back in time and do better.”

“Dorie.”

She reached across the table and took her hand. “You’re a good mother, Annie. You’re trying to keep her safe.”

“Thank you. But Adam won’t hurt her. He’ll screw it up in some other way.   Honestly, part of me is expecting a frantic phone call to come pick her up once he realizes he can’t handle it.”

“I hope so, dear.” 

*******************************

Jeff was doing his best to make it seem like he was chasing Sophie _very earnestly_ while making sure not to overtake her. It wasn’t an easy balancing act, as he was pretty sure he could pass her up in two normal steps.

He chuckled to himself as he saw her look back once again and affect a shocked expression.

_“Uh oh, da-dee!”_ She turned forward and hobtoddled toward the hallway outside the kitchen.

He felt his pulse unexpectedly quicken and something drop in his stomach as he watched her push open the cracked door of the linen closet. He realized he had forgotten the closet was there. His mother usually kept the door firmly shut.

His heart rate accelerated even more as she disappeared into the closet and then attempted to pull the door shut with her chubby little fingers.

She began to giggle.

Jeff dropped to his knees in front of the door and found himself shouting, “Get out of there right now! Right now!”

There was a burst of crying from the closet.  

Annie and Dorie suddenly appeared in the doorway from the kitchen.

He looked up at them, aware his face felt hot and was likely red with rage. Annie regarded him as if he were a complete monster. Her eyes went to Sophie, who was pushing open the door and sobbing hysterically.

“Annie rushed over and scooped Sophie up in her arms. “It’s okay, sweetie. Daddy shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

_“Da-dee mad.”_

Dorie’s eyes darted to the closet and then back at Jeff, who was still kneeling. Her lip trembled.

Jeff began to feel dizzy, and then he became horrifyingly aware that he couldn’t breathe.

  

******************************

Annie curled up at Jeff’s side as they lay on the guestroom bed. She pet the side of his face with the back of her hand and looked at him earnestly.

“God, I’m embarrassed. Please don’t tell anyone that happened.”

“Jeeeff.”

He winced. “And now the munchkin will be afraid of me.”

“No, she won’t.”

“You know I’d never hurt her, right? I’m sorry I overreacted. I’ll leave the dramatic yelling for when she’s running out into traffic.”

Annie smiled softly and kept her eyes on his. “I get the feeling you thought she _was_ running out into traffic. Metaphorical traffic, that is.”

He turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “And we just celebrated Halloween. She was all cute as a bumble bee. She doesn’t think of Halloween as a scary thing. But see, I’m a monster.”

Annie frowned at his tangential and self-defeating talk. “Will you please stop? You’re not a monster, Jeff.”

“How do you know?”

“Can you please just explain to me what set you off? I saw your face. You didn’t look angry. You looked terrified. And your mom seemed to know why. But she won’t talk to me about it.”

He said in a low voice, “I had a panic attack.”

“I know. But what’s with the closet?”

She watched Jeff’s profile as he gulped and continued to keep his eyes upward. She reached over and began to caress his chest and placed a kiss to his shoulder.

“You can tell me.”

After a few moments of silence, he said nonchalantly, “It’s no biggie. I forgot about the closet. Don’t know why. I think my mom usually puts a chair or something in front of it. I haven’t seen it open in years.”

Annie furrowed her brow. “That’s what she said. She’s been re-arranging things and said she wasn’t thinking. She seemed really apologetic about it, but Jeff, she was crying in the bathroom while you went upstairs.”

He groaned. “God, I’ll talk to her. It’s not her fault.”

“You need to tell me. Let me help you.”

“You can’t. It’s done.”

“Please tell me what happened.”

She waited for almost a full minute, watching him. She knew despite her desire to break the silence that he was gearing himself up for being more open with her.

Finally, he closed his eyes. “I used to hide in there. In the linen closet. And for awhile he didn’t figure out where I hid.”

Annie kissed his shoulder again as she continued to rub her hand over his chest. She could feel the thumping of his heart.

He continued, “But one day he got me. He pulled it open and grabbed me. I couldn’t go back in there after that.”

In a trembling voice, she asked, “What did he do to you?”

Jeff shrugged and opened his eyes. He kept them on the ceiling as he answered, “You can already guess. What I’ve kinda alluded to before. He had a belt. Or he’d grab something else. Or he’d slam me against something. And then he’d tell me I was a worthless piece of shit.”

Annie began to cry into this side.

“I guess I snapped when I saw her go in there.”

“Where was your mom when all of this happened?”

“He did the same to her. See this is why I never saw myself with a wife or a kid. What the hell kind of man does that?”

Annie stilled her hand on his chest and pressed it lightly. “You’re not like him at all. You are the sweetest, most loving person…”

“I’m an asshole, Annie. But yeah, at least I don’t beat you or the munchkin.”

“Stop it.”

He added in an almost whisper, “And then he’d give her flowers.”

She sat up slightly. “What?”

He turned his head to the side and looked at her with a crooked smile. “He’d sober up and go to the florist. He’d come back with a dozen various colorful crappy things, and he’d promise he wouldn’t ever do it again. And she’d cry and say it was okay.”

“Oh my god.”

He took a deep breath and continued, “He had her under this thumb. And we had no money. Sometimes I’d ask her if we could run away, but she said he’d find us so we should do our best to make sure to stay out of his way. She said she wanted to keep me safe.”

“But it doesn’t sound like you _could_ stay out of his way.”

“That’s why she told me to hide in the linen closet. When he was drunk, I was supposed to go there. She didn’t want anything to happen to me. She knew she could take it and that eventually he’d pass out and forget about me.”

Annie began to gulp down sobs.

“She did her best with what she knew at the time. There wasn’t anywhere for us to go. Thank god one day he just left and didn’t come back.”

She nodded into his side. “This is why you don’t want to get me flowers.”

“Yeah, well, now you know.” 

**************************

Annie sat next to Jeff as she held Sophie on her lap. Sophie was sucking her thumb and looking up at Jeff with wide eyes.

Annie rubbed his knee as she watched him give Sophie a kiss on her forehead and say in a low voice, “I’m sorry I yelled, munchkin. Daddy loves you.”

_“Da-dee mad.”_

“Daddy didn’t mean it. I love you. I’m sorry.”

Sophie smiled weakly. _“Id okay da-dee. Fee yell.”_ She reached toward him.

His eyes widened as he pulled her onto his lap. “Hm?”

_“Fee yell! Fee yell!”_

“Okay, okay, settle down. Point taken.”

_“Fee lub da-dee.”_ She leaned her head against his chest and resumed sucking her thumb.

Annie caught Jeff’s look of complete bafflement. She whispered, “See, I told you everything’s okay. You didn’t hurt her. She knows sometimes people yell. And she loves you.”

He felt something catching in his throat and reached his free arm around Annie. She nestled into his side.

“I want to keep both of you safe.”

“You already do.”

He nodded and held his tongue for a change, deciding to continue to keep some things to himself.

Dorie unobtrusively watched them from the front hall doorway. She pulled her arms against her chest and let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. 

****************************

Jeff looked up from his phone as Troy and Abed scooted into the booth across from him.

“Hey.”

Abed pushed an envelope across the table.

Jeff arched a brow. “What’s this?”

“Surveillance, Jeff. More specifically, photos of Annie’s ex going to and from his apartment.”

Jeff groaned as he opened the envelope. Inside were black and white photos as Abed had described. Most were grainy shots of Adam walking into or out of a red brick building.

He looked up at Abed. “I never told you to take pictures. Christ. This doesn’t prove anything.”

Abed cocked his head. “It’s surveillance. Now we know the scene.”

Jeff nodded with a grimace. “You know Annie’s over there right now, right? She’s checking the place out. As in she’s actually _inside_ the apartment. _With_ him.”

“Oh. No, I didn’t know that.”

Jeff smiled tightly as he pushed the photos back in the envelope and closed it. He turned to the other half of the duo.

“Troy, please give me an update. Where are we?”

Troy began to rock from side to side, his hands underneath his thighs. His eyes darted around the diner. “We met again, this time I told him the stuff you gave me to say, about you and Annie having another fight.”

“And?”

“I emphasized that I don’t like you. It wasn’t easy, man.” Troy winced. “Cause I really love you, man.”

Jeff stared up at the ceiling and laced his fingers on the table.   “Troy. While that is very touching, do you think he bought it?”

“I dunno. He keeps talking to me, so yeah, um, maybe.”

Jeff looked over at Abed. “Audio?”

Abed nodded enthusiastically. “I knew you’d want to listen. Otherwise you’ll never know if Troy is selling it.” He slid over a padded envelope.

Troy whimpered and placed his forehead on the bar. “My tummy’s upset. Even more so than when I ate that cookie.”

Jeff placed his hand firmly on Troy’s shoulder. “Troy. We need to focus. I’ll listen to the audio and we’ll rehearse this next part. This next part, need I remind you, is _crucial_. There can be no mistakes. He has to believe you.”

Troy mumbled, “Yeah, I know.”

Abed glanced at Troy and raised his eyebrows. He then looked at Jeff.

“You guys can rehearse at our place. In the Dreamatorium.”

Jeff squinted.

Abed continued, “Before Britta moves in. Otherwise, she might catch on to us.”

Jeff remarked dryly, “Oh we’re doing this before Britta’s move, but it’s not for fear that she’ll catch on. Trust me, despite what she _says_ , Britta’s pretty obtuse.” 

************************

Annie handed Sophie a small stuffed green creature from her purse and then turned to Britta.

“He’s driving me crazy. I’m so afraid he’s going to do something stupid. But he keeps denying that anything’s on his mind. What am I supposed to do, call him a liar?”

Britta nodded and shifted on her couch. She glanced around at the stacks of boxes in her living room and spied one of her cats slink past a pile of clothes in the corner. She frowned.

“Britta, are you listening?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Jeff’s lying again, yada yada yada. Jesus, Annie, what did you expect? It’s Jeff Winger.”

Annie shook her head. “He’s better than this. I know all you see is his bravado, but trust me, he’s not really like that. I’m worried he’s trying to…”

Britta interjected as she left the couch, got to her knees, and began to crawl stealthily toward the clothes, “He’s trying to be a hero. I know. So, yeah, his heart’s probably in the right place, the big doofus. But if he’s got Troy involved, which I agree is highly likely since the two have them have been extra weird lately,” she paused and frowned as she moved a pair of sweatpants from the pile.

Sophie giggled and crouched down next to Britta. She proceeded to grab at a hoodie.

Britta continued, “If Troy’s involved, then whatever it is they’re up to can’t be that serious. Troy’s fun, and he’s like pure joy. He can _play_ at stuff, but he’s not a liar. So, I dunno, you could probably just ask _him_ what’s going on.”

Annie startled. “I don’t want to go behind my boyfriend’s back to find out things _he_ should be telling me.”

Britta reached around a pair of jeans and adeptly scooped up Daniel. She grinned and turned back to look at Annie.

“I got him!”

Annie squinted. “What?”

“He’s been trying to get away from me for some reason, but here he is!”

_“Doggie!_ ”

 


	15. Sting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys move forward with their sting operation, but the girls have something to say about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for mentions of drug use.

“So I probably shouldn’t have killed Pierce’s dad.”

Annie looked up from her spot across from the low table, which divided them as they sat in the lounge area of the Wild Rose, a restaurant around the corner from their apartment.

She sighed and reached across for Jeff’s hand. He readily accepted it and closed his eyes.

She searched his face for a few moments before she said in a low voice, “You didn’t _kill_ Pierce’s dad. He had a heart attack. It was his time.”

He nodded slowly. “Sure. Whatever makes it sound better. But you and I both know I went too far. I took out all of my crap with my own father out on him.”

She gave his hand a squeeze. “Yes, you did.   But you still didn’t _kill_ him. Any healthy person would have been able to take you ranting at them for like thirty seconds.”

Jeff opened his eyes and smiled slightly with closed lips.

She continued, “And if it hadn’t been you, he seemed like he was angry enough to keel over at any point.”

“You think?”

“Yes.   You’re not a murderer. And while I usually speak well of people, Cornelius Hawthorne wasn’t a very good father. And I’m proud of you in defending our friend.”

Jeff felt an odd sense of momentary relief at her words.

But it didn’t make the big ball of dread in his stomach go away. 

***************************

Jeff steadied his hands on Troy’s shoulders and looked him square in the eye.

“You got this. Remember, stick to the plan.”

Troy gulped. “Yeah. The plan.”

Abed stood behind Troy and shook his head.

Jeff glanced over at him and pursed his lips. He returned his attention to Troy.

“Remember, you’re playing a part. It’s acting. And you’re doing it for Sophie. She’s depending on you.”

Troy whimpered, “She does have those cute little eyes. And her hair. She’s adorable.”

“Yes, Troy. She’s the most precious little creature in the whole world. You need to keep her safe.”

Troy looked up at him and nodded. “Sophie doesn’t need to worry. I got this.”

Abed shook his head. 

***************************

Britta sighed loudly from her spot kneeling on the floor in Jeff and Annie’s living room.

“Troy’s in way over his head.”

Annie paced back and forth, her hands busy punching a teal pillow.

“Ooooh! I can’t believe he would do this! I mean, I guess I can. But to use _Troy_? What the hell is he thinking?!?”

Britta shrugged as she tossed Sophie’s stuff animals into her toy bin in her attempt to help Annie with clean up while Sophie was napping. “That’s what I said when I weaseled the plan out of him. And that wasn’t difficult at all, by the way.”

Annie continued stomping her feet and assaulting the pillow. Her voice shook as she said, “We need to stop them.”

“I promised Troy I wouldn’t tell anyone, but hey, whores before bores, you know? Plus, it’s _your_ kid.”

Annie came to a stop and nodded. “Thank you, Britta. I don’t want Troy to get involved in this anymore than he already is. Adam’s smart. As much as it pains me to admit this now, it’s one of the qualities that attracted me to him in the first place. But he’s not that _nice_. If he even suspects what Troy’s up to, he’ll say something nasty to him and I’m not sure if Troy can handle that.”

Shirley sat in a chair, feeding Ben. She rolled her eyes. “Lord, that poor boy is too pure for this world.”

Britta smiled while gently petting Mr. Tickles the stuff elephant. “He is. He cried when he told me their plan. He said Jeff and Abed figured it all out.”

Shirley added in a low and serious voice, “Those fools need to be shown the real way to take someone down.”

Annie shot her a look. 

*****************************

Jeff continued, “You’re the jock, remember? Maybe you like to party? You’re figuring out this grown up stuff, you’re at college now, you’re a late bloomer, just trying to get a sense of freedom. And you’d just like to try it out.”

Troy gulped. “Yeah. Just try it out.”

Jeff bit his lip and softly hit his closed fist on the table.

Troy stiffened and nodded resolutely.   He cleared his throat and sat up straighter across from him. “Hey, man, I’d just like to try it out.”

“Better.”

“Thanks.”

Jeff took a deep breath and then said in a stern tone, “We need to link him to drugs. Even if we can’t catch him using, if we can get him to hook you up, I think we’ll be good. It’ll give me leverage.”

Troy’s eyes widened for a moment before he quickly composed his most serious face. “I can do it.”

Abed shook his head. 

********************************

Shirley finished up, “So that’s the way we do it.”

Annie’s mouth fell open in a gasp. She pulled her knees up to her face as she stared at Shirley from her spot on the couch. “You can’t be serious! We aren’t _doing_ anything. We are only stopping the boys from doing something stupid.”

Shirley narrowed her eyes. “You’re being naïve. We take advantage of what they’ve already set up. From what you told us about Adam, it makes perfect sense.”

Annie placed her chin on her knees and said softly, “I am not trying to take down my ex. He may be an ass, but he and I are connected for the next sixteen years. I’ve accepted that, even if the rest of you haven’t seemed to.”

Britta sat on the floor and nodded slowly. She looked up at Annie and Shirley and said evenly, “But Annie, we have to.”

Shirley arched a brow. “So you agree to it, then?”

Annie groaned.

Britta nodded again. 

*********************************

“Operation Winger is a go. Repeat. Operation Winger is a go.”

“We know, Abed.” Jeff rolled his eyes and sat back with crossed arms in the dark green dented van.   He attempted to move his legs forward but was instantly thwarted in the cramped interior of the passenger side.

Abed clicked a button on the black box he had placed on the dash. He drummed the steering wheel as he put on his headphones.

“Whose van is this anyway?”

“Pavel’s.”

“I see.”

“It’s time to put on our headphones.”

“Of course it is, Abed.” 

**********************************

Troy did his best to appear nonchalant, meeting Adam at their now familiar bar on the corner of 5th and Foster.   They had met there several times, and each occasion Troy had been advancing the story that he and Adam were _friendly_ and that he was actually spying for _him_ on Annie and Jeff. So far, Adam had seemed eager to hear news about any supposed fights or disagreements. Troy and Jeff had concocted scenarios that wouldn’t damage Annie and Jeff’s side too much but might seem plausible and provide an excuse for Troy to continue to make contact with him. Troy had made sure to readily accept Adam’s offers of buying him a beer, stating that he was a poor college student and needed to unwind.

All of this Troy hadn’t had much difficulty with. He _was_ a poor college student. He _was_ stressed. He had an active imagination and could kind of get into the dramatic details of relaying the supposed ‘fights.’   And he did his best to draw upon his previous suspicions of Jeff from first year, conjuring up his fierce protectiveness of Annie and Sophie. He told himself all of it was kind of true.

What Troy was having the most difficulty with, however, was the idea of the next step. He did his best to tell himself he was merely playing a part. It was _acting_. He and Abed acted all the time in the Dreamatorium. But he never acted out anything like _this_.

He pushed the bile down in his throat and looked Adam in his eerily blank eyes. He took a deep breath, and, fiddling with his glass of beer, said resolutely, “So, this brings me to something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Adam cocked his head and smirked. “Interesting. You have something on your mind, Troy?”

Troy took a swig of beer and nodded. “I don’t wanna be a leech or anything, but um, I need a favor.”

Adam smiled smugly. “I knew this was coming.”

Troy attempted to keep his face impassive as he felt his heartbeat quicken. “What do you mean?”

Adam laughed and slapped Troy on the back. “You’ve been my little spy. Sure, I give you beer, but I figured you’d want something else. You know, quid pro quo?”

Troy let out a breath of relief and smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. And it might sound sorta stupid. But I thought, you know, I’m not sure who else to ask. My friends aren’t into stuff. And Annie doesn’t do that stuff anymore.”

Adam squinted. “Stuff?”

Troy shrugged. “Yeah. Look, I’m kinda embarrassed, but um, I’ve been really stressed out lately with school. And I have trouble focusing and shit. So, um, look, I know you know people, right? Maybe you could help me get a connection? Or something?”

Adam eyes widened in comprehension.   He let out a long whistle and sat up straighter on his stool. “Troy. Come on. You mean _drugs_?”

Troy whispered loudly, “Hey!”

Adam rolled his eyes and leaned in to him. He said in a lower voice, “Please. It’s not like there are narcs just running around the place. So, to clarify, you want me to get you what, some Adderall, some coke? Something else?”

Troy was aware of his stomach flipping continuously throughout the conversation.

_Please don’t throw up._

_Please don’t throw up._

_Sophie’s the sweetest little kid ever._

He swallowed hard and looked at Adam directly in the eyes. He furrowed his brow as he said in his most manly voice, “Um, I’m not sure what would help, but um, yeah, something like an upper? So I can stay up and study and shit.”

“I see.”

“So can you help me? And don’t tell anyone, please.”

Adam slowly sipped his beer and then placed it on the bar. “Troy. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Hm?”

“I may have made some poor decisions when I was younger, but I’ve been to rehab, I’m clean, and I’m not connected to that world anymore. And need I remind you, all of that is _illegal_. There is no way I’d jeopardize my future graduate school career plans, my job, or access to my daughter for a quick high. And I don’t associate with anyone who would condone such behavior.”

Troy stared at him.

Adam gave a little smirk. He mouthed silently, “Gotcha.”

He then patted Troy condescendingly on the shoulder. “Say hi to Jeff for me.” 

*********************************

Jeff closed his eyes as he and Abed continued to listen in.

“I’m so sorry, man! I knew I couldn’t lie! Damn.”

More Troy sobs.

Adam’s voice, “Hey, you had me almost going there a little bit ago. I thought maybe you wanted to help me out. So you sold some of it. Not bad.”

“I’m not a good liar.”

“No you aren’t, Troy, but see, it’s all fine. You’ve unburdened yourself. We’re cool. But see, as fun as this has been, I can’t hang out with you anymore.”

“Yeah, okay, man. I’ll go.”

“Have a good life, Troy.” 

******************************

Adam watched Troy walk sullenly away. He shook his head and pulled out his phone to scroll through his texts.

Eyes on the screen, he was startled by a brush against his thigh as someone slid onto the stool next to him. He glanced up to see a sly smile and bouncy blonde curls.

“Hey, sorry, is this seat taken?”

He quickly shoved the phone into his pocket and sat up a little straighter. “Er, no. My friend just left.”

“Friend?”

“Guy friend. We were just hanging out but he had to go home.”

“So you’re all alone tonight?”

Adam shrugged and licked his bottom lip.

******************************

“Lordy, that girl is _good_.”

Annie crossed her arms over her chest.   “This is so creepy!”

Shirley chuckled and placed her headphones back on. 

*****************************

“So I was thinking of taking a trip to Thailand. You know, to get some wanderlust out of my system.   This place is so _stifling_ , you know?”

Adam smiled and let his hand linger near Britta’s hand as he slid over another cranberry vodka shot to her. He watched her with intense interest as she exaggerated a shy look at him, giggled, and picked up the shot.

“You really like these?”

She shrugged. “What can I say?   A girl’s gotta like pink. You know how we are.”

“Yeah.” He clinked his shot glass to hers.

Before they could toss back their drinks, a wobbly shadow loomed over them.

“Miss Perry! Who’s your friend?” 

******************************

Annie shrieked. 

******************************

“So you need to _leave_. Now.” Britta narrowed her eyes at Ian.

He squinted. “What now?”

“We’re _done_. Get out.”

He looked back and forth between her and Adam. “But I just wanted to meet your friend. Maybe the three of us could have a round? Next one’s on me.”

He snapped his fingers at the bartender.

Britta watched in irritation and slight panic as he began to pull up a stool to sit in between them.

Adam gave her an astonished look.

She turned to Ian and placed her hand on his arm. “ _Ian_. You need to go home. You’re wasted. Go check on Chang.”

Ian frowned. “Since when do you call me….”

She kicked him. “Go home.” She turned to Adam and said, “I’m so sorry. He and I are _not together_. He just leeches onto me. He’s friends with a friend of mine.”

Adam laughed. “Oh yeah. I cannot see you two together at all.”

"Well fuck off. I’ll have you know….”

At that moment, Shirley grabbed Ian’s outstretched finger and smiled ever so sweetly. “Ian, sweet-tie. I’m so glad I found you. We need to go _home_.”

Ian looked at her incredulously. “Well now, Bloody Fuck!”

Shirley pursed her lips and leaned into his side. She whispered something into his ear.

Within moments, she hauled him out of the bar. 

*********************************

Abed held a whimpering Troy in his arms as Jeff contemplated the black box. 

**********************************

“So, you wanna get out of here?”

Britta shook her head and laughed.

“You’re smooth, I’ll give you that. What makes you think I’ll just go home with some dude I met at a bar?”

Adam shrugged and regarded her with intense amusement. “Hey, a guy’s gotta try. You seem cool.”

Britta turned to him and exaggerated a sigh.

She watched as he signaled to the bartender.

“Well, hey, it’s on me. And if you’d like to give me your number, I wouldn’t turn you down. Maybe we could do this some other time.”

Britta groaned and finished the remainder of her drink. “Ugh. So you’re not even gonna try to talk me into it?”

He turned to her with a grin. “Really? You want me to?”

“No, jerk.”

He clapped his hands together, a gleam in his eye. “Ha! Let’s do this.”

She exaggerated an attempt to suppress a smile as she turned to him and narrowed her eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. We do one more shot. One more. And then we head back to my place. It’s kinda a mess cause I’m moving soon, and you have to be okay with cats.”

“Not a problem.”

Britta smiled slightly and ordered two more shots. Within a minute they had them in their hands. She gave a nod and then slammed them back.

“Ah.” She winced. “Okay. I think I can do this.”

Adam squinted and said sardonically, “Well that’s just great. I thought we were hitting it off.”

She laughed bitterly. “Oh, it’s not you. I’ve just been in a really bad space lately. I need a good distraction, okay? My ex, Jason, oh my god, you wouldn’t believe it. He got married and sent me an _invitation_. Can you stand it? I can’t.”

Adam sighed as he signed the slip for the tab. “Fine. Let’s go back to your place and _distract_.” He motioned with his head toward the door.

Britta swiveled around once on the stool and stopped. She placed her hand on his knee and leaned forward with a giggle. “But I’ve run out of my stash.   My guy, Starburns, he’s out of town. God, but maybe I can find that friend of his.”

Adam placed his hand over hers and assisted her in moving it up slightly higher.

She affected a tight smile.

He let out a low laugh, “You know Starburns? That dude’s such a poser. And he can’t even get you the good stuff.”

“Oh, I know, but he’s easy, he’s…”

Adam interjected as he placed a kiss to her neck. “He’s an amateur. I know a guy who can help you out. What do you want?”

Britta ran a hand quickly through his hair and said teasingly, “Just something to make me feel _good_. Like maybe some blow?”

Adam shrugged as he pulled her onto his lap. “I’ll give my buddy a call. He lives nearby.” 

******************************

As Adam and Britta stumbled down the street, there was a quick clicking sound behind them. Britta glanced over her shoulder and then hurried Adam along.

“What’s that?” Adam started to turn around, but Britta grabbed his arm.

“Help me, please? I can’t walk so good. I’m pretty hammered.”

“Oh, um sure. He’s just a couple blocks this way.”

The clicking sound intensified.

Britta couldn’t stop it.

Annie’s fist collided with Adam’s nose, and he fell to the ground. 

******************************

Abed raised his eyebrows as he continued to listen to Britta’s mic.

Troy placed his head in his hands and sobbed. Shirley reached her hand to his shoulder from the backseat of the van.

“It’s okay, sweetie. Jeffrey ran after her. There’s nothing we could do to stop her.”

Abed’s eyes grew wider. “It’s a mother’s love. And jilted ex-lover. And sting operation all in one. I don’t know how to classify this.”

“Abed, shut your mouth.”

“I want to go home. This is Bloody Awful.”

“Not now, Professor Duncan. You stay where I put you.”

“Sorry. Right.” 

*********************************

“You are such a _pig_! And you _lied_ to me! I _hate_ you!” Annie stood over Adam, hands on her hips. She watched as he rubbed his nose, blood trickling down his face.

“What the hell, Annie? What are you doing here?!?”

“Oh, I don’t have to explain myself. You’re the one who was going to go buy some cocaine! You told me you were clean!”

Adam stared up at her, annoyance on his face. “Fuck. I _am_. I was just going to hook her up. And what the hell are you doing? Are you following me?”

Annie sputtered, “I can’t believe you!”

Jeff caught up with her and pulled her back as her leg was in mid-kick.

“Let me go!”

Jeff grumbled, “You can’t assault him!”

Adam’s mouth fell open as he looked at Jeff and Annie. His eyes flashed to Britta, who was standing there tottering from side to side. She frowned at him.

He gasped, “You’re part of this? You set me up!”

Britta nodded as she reached her hand out and pulled him to his feet. “Heck yeah. Annie’s my friend. And you don’t mess with her or her kid. You were going to take me to your frickin’ drug dealer.”

Adam shook his head and pulled his hand back from hers once he was on his feet. “He’s not _my_ drug dealer. He’s just a guy I know. And I was doing it for _you_. Otherwise I would have just gone back with you to your place. Fuck.”

Annie pinched Jeff’s arm, and he relaxed his grip on her, letting her go. She took a deep breath and walked over to Adam. She jabbed her index finger into his chest. “You are an _ass_.”

“So you admit you set me up?”

Jeff shouted over to him, “Of course we did. We weren’t going to let you just take Sophie, even if you did pass your drug test. I know cocaine gets eliminated pretty quickly.”

Adam rolled his eyes. He addressed Annie. “I’m not using, I swear. I was just going to hook her up. I can’t believe you guys _lied_ to me. Not cool, Annie. Not cool.”

Britta began to scrub at her neck in disgust. She muttered, “You’re gross.”

Adam cast her a look of annoyance and continued to speak to Annie while holding his nose. “I’m not using. That’s the agreement.”

Annie gasped. “I can’t believe you! You’d take Britta to your drug dealer…”

\-- “I don’t buy from him anymore…”

“But you obviously still talk to him, which is crazy so I don’t even know if I believe you. But even if I _did_ , you have a friend who sells drugs! And you were going to go home with a woman and do drugs with her!”

“I wasn’t going to, I was going to let her do it.”

Annie tiled her head and stared at him for a few long moments. She then narrowed her eyes. “You don’t get it. I can’t have you take care of my daughter if you’re going to be doing things like this. Clearly you haven’t changed.”

Jeff walked over to Britta stood watching the two of them. He let her lean into his arm as she continued to wobble slightly. He noticed she shivered and didn’t object when he placed his arm around her.

She mumbled again, “He’s so gross.”

Adam let out a long sigh. “Annie. I’m not doing drugs. And if I had Sophie, I wouldn’t let anyone else do drugs around her. You know that. I’m not an idiot.”

Annie nodded slowly as she appeared to contemplate his words. She then looked up at him defiantly. “No. You don’t get any custody of her. I have a recording of everything you’ve said tonight. My friend Abed’s a few blocks away in his van. We have it all. And I’m taking it to my lawyer.”

Adam stumbled back on his drunken legs and opened his mouth wide.

Annie stared at him, unblinking.

He said loudly, “You don’t have me going to my drug dealer. You don’t even have me admitting I have a drug dealer.”

“But you do have a drug dealer?”

“Well yeah, but we didn’t go there.”

Annie turned to Britta. “Your mic’s still on, right? We got that?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Fuck.” 

*********************************

Annie sat in the booth and stared at her hot chocolate. She pushed it away.

Jeff took a deep breath and then said, “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “You were right. I’m so stupid.”

“I’m sorry I lied to you. And you’re not stupid.”

Annie shrugged and looked around the table at all of their friends’ worried faces, finally moving her eyes back to Jeff.

“You didn’t want me to stop you. Which is what I probably would have done if I had known all the details.”

Jeff furrowed his brow. “But you didn’t. You came to us and told us you knew and that you had a better plan. I should have included you from the start.”

“That was Shirley and Britta. They’re the ones who came up with the plan, piggy backing on what you guys were already doing. They’re the ones who stopped _me_ from stopping _you_.”

Jeff sighed and placed his arm around her shoulder. He buried his face in her hair for a moment before he sat back up. She leaned against him.

Shirley smiled slightly at Annie. “Sweetie, it’ll all be okay. You stopped anything bad from happening to Sophie.”

Annie grimaced. She gently pushed away from Jeff and once again looked around the table.

“I’m just disappointed in him. I thought he had changed his life, but he’s still the same old Adam.”

Troy sat up from his spot huddled into Abed’s side. He frowned. “Do you think he still uses?”

Annie shrugged. “I don’t even know if that matters to me anymore. He still hangs out with people who do use or people who sell. I can’t have Sophie exposed to that.” She looked up at Jeff, who was watching her with watering eyes. She smiled slightly. “Thank you for looking out for us. You were right. We can’t have her with him alone.”

Jeff gulped, “But the visits?”

She closed her eyes. “I can’t even think about that right now. I’m just so mad at him.” She reopened her eyes and looked at Britta, who was sipping coffee in an attempt to sober up. “I’m sorry you had to put up with that. Thank you.”

Britta nodded with a wince. “It was fine.”

Annie regarded her curiously. “You’re sure?”

Britta let out a quick laugh and ducked her head while clutching her mug. “Yeah. It was no biggie. I’ve been treated worse.”

Annie wiped a tear from her eye. “Britta…”

Ian placed his cup of coffee down and began to reach over toward Britta. Shirley, sitting in between them, stomped her foot on his.

“Bloody Hell! Why did you do that?”

She narrowed her eyes. “There’s more where that came from if you don’t stop messing up our group bonding time. Why are you still here?”

Ian squinted. “I don’t even know where I am! Or how I got involved in his fiasco!”

Shirley continued to mumble something under her breath.

Jeff took Annie’s hand under the table. He leaned over and whispered into her ear, “We’ll get through this. It’ll be okay.”

“I know.”

Abed scanned the group and nodded with a satisfied sigh. “Although I’m disappointed Pierce hasn’t happened in to complete our shenanigans, the inclusion of Professor Duncan is inspired. His presence makes us the _Greendale Seven_.”

Everyone groaned.

“Bloody Seven What?”

Abed continued to nod. Troy looked at him in awe.

“Did someone say my name?”

Everyone turned to see Pierce standing at the end of the booth, his hands in his pockets.

Annie perked up. “Pierce, what are you doing here?”

He affected a humble demeanor and cleared his throat. “Shirley called me. She said you guys might need some backup muscle for an ass kicking. So I brought my Hawthorne Wipes security man, Heinz.” He gestured to a surly looking and square man to his left.

He added, “He used to work for my father.”

Shirley smiled nervously as she regarded the group. “It was just backup.”

Annie shot her a look.

Abed shook his head. “Now we’re nine. This won’t do at all. I think someone messed up this episode.”

“Abed.”

“Jeff, let it go. We should pick up Sophie. I need to see our baby.”


	16. Adventures in Relocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Britta moves in with Trobed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A group adventure, this time with less angst.

Jeff felt the soft wetness hit his cheek. He opened his eyes with a groan.

_“Hi Da-dee!”_

Giggles.

He squinted at her. “What are you doing here?”

More giggles followed by a large stuffed green frog shoved in his face. 

_“Fogua lub da-dee.”_

For a moment he struggled to figure out his bearings, wondering how Sophie had managed to end up in their bed.

Then it hit him. He was in his sleeping bag on the floor in _her_ room.

_Right._

And now for some reason she was lying next to him.   He wondered when she managed to get out of bed.

He gingerly took the frog from her and flipped on his back. He examined the creature with a stern expression.

More giggling.

_Okay, so sternness isn’t working._

He affected an even and low voice. “Count Frogula seems to be extra spitty this morning. It is morning, right? God, it’s dark in here.”

_“Id moning da-dee. Mama seep. Fee und Fogua kith da-dee.”_

And then came the spitty Sophie-kiss right on his cheek. He noticed the immediate warmth spreading inside him.

_Damn, I’m in trouble._

He placed the frog to the side and grabbed her, pulling her onto his chest. He looked into her big blue eyes as she smiled at him. He felt her slimy hands grab at his face.

“You’re going to be a handful for me, aren’t you? Like one day I’ll have to say no to you and I’ll be in big trouble. I think I’m going to have to have your Mommy do it.”

More giggling.

The door creaked open.

“You guys, it’s four am.” Annie peered into the room, the light from the hallway casting a glow about her in her purple t-shirt and purple and white striped pajama pants.

Jeff placed a kiss on Sophie’s head as she continued to chuckle and squirm.

“It’s not my fault. She got up and assaulted me.”

Annie entered the room, a pillow under her arm. She plopped down on the floor next to them and stretched out on her side. She placed the pillow under her head and reached over to lightly touch Sophie’s arm.

_“Mama.”_

Jeff turned his head so that he was looking into her eyes.

She smiled and said softly, “I missed you. I want you back in our bed.”

“I know. As soon as she’s feeling more secure.”

“Maybe I should camp out with you guys, though? Maybe tonight?”

“Annie, you don’t have to do that. _Someone_ should be comfortable in this family.”

She scooted in closer and nested her head into his side. She whispered, “Sophie looks pretty comfortable.”

“Yeah, well.”

She kissed the side of his jaw. “You said _family_.”

“Well, duh.”

“That sounds nice. You’re really sweet.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

She watched in amusement as he furrowed his brow.

“I can’t wait to help our Greendale family today. Won’t it be so nice to have three of our friends living together?”

“Maybe. Could also be the start of more Abed sitcom shenanigans.”

“He’d love that.” She chuckled.

“You know, this munchkin’s too small to help and will only get in the way, so why don’t I just hang out with her while you guys do your thing? I can take her to the mall or something and she can play on that indoor toddler lot. I need a new shirt anyway.”

Annie narrowed her eyes. “Jeff.”

He smirked. “Sorry. I had to try.”

She lightly tapped his thigh. “I thought you were a Britta fan at last. It’s the least we can do after what she did for us.”

He let out a long sigh as he placed a wiggling Sophie in between them. “Of course I’m going to help. Britta really came through for us. God, I had no idea she was capable of something like that. I offered to buy her some bleach to rub on her neck or wherever else that…”

Annie cut him off with a squeeze to his arm. “Let’s not talk about that right now with her here.”

“Sorry.” He gulped.

She studied his face for some moments while Sophie turned to bury herself into her chest. She took some time to silently pet Sophie’s head, allowing her to begin to drift back to sleep.

Finally, she said in almost a whisper, “I’m sorry if I’ve been a bit down since all of it happened. I’m still stunned, and I know that sounds crazy. But really, Jeff, I know everything will be okay.”

He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. He lingered with his forehead pressed to hers.

“We’ll just have to stick together. The Edison-Wingers can handle anything.”

She smiled and reached an arm over Sophie and placed her hand lightly on his elbow. “You know, I think I will camp out with you two tonight. I can’t think of another place where I’d be as comfortable.” 

*******************************

Later that morning, at a less _obscene_ hour per Jeff, the gang assembled at Britta’s apartment. Annie and Jeff had left Sophie in the care of Nancy and Ryan and Shirley made sure Andre was settled in with their kids so that she could help with the move.

Annie, Jeff, Troy, Abed, and Britta were in the living room discussing how to proceed with the remaining items.

Jeff, sunglasses still on, surveyed the assortment of boxes. He noted several were labeled in black marker ‘Daniel’ while others were tagged, ‘Mister Walter Whiskers.’

His eyes fell to other boxes, including one marked ‘kitchen,’ the other ‘bedroom,’ and finally three boxes each with the words, ‘Jelly Baby.’

He frowned at that last pile. He opened his mouth and stopped as Annie lightly swatted him.

She turned to Britta with a little bounce. “We are so excited to help you move!”

“Yeah, we’re _super_ excited to move three boxes of Jelly Babies.”

Annie cast him a glare.

Britta frowned in confusion. “I don’t eat Jelly Babies. They have gelatin in them you know. That’s a protein derived from collages, which is derived from tendrils, which are ligmoints and animals.”

Jeff squinted. “Huh?”

Troy placed his hands near his temples and yelped, “No! I didn’t want to know that! Why do you say things like that?!?”

Abed shook his head. He addressed Britta. “Troy and I eat Jelly Babies while we watch Inspector Spacetime. True, they don’t feature in the current iteration of the show, but they were a favorite of the fourth Inspector. It is our homage.”

Jeff continued to squint behind his sunglasses. “Huh?”

Britta groaned and threw her hands up in the air. “Fine. Just please, don’t let my cats eat them.”

Abed cocked his head and studied her. “But cats are known carnivores. They need meat to survive. How do you reconcile your strident views on the consummation of flesh with feeding your cats?”

Britta’s eyes widened and then quickly recovered. She affected a steely gaze. “Everyone has to make sacrifices sometimes. That is mine.” She took a deep breath and pivoted away, marching back toward her bedroom. She shouted, “Hey, did you get my buddies all settled in their carriers?”

Jeff, Annie, Abed, and Troy exchanged quizzical looks. Abed mouthed silently, ‘ _one, two, three, four, five.’_ His head turned to see Shirley and Pierce re-enter the apartment, ready to take the next load of boxes out to Pierce’s car.

Abed continued, _‘six, seven.’_ His head swiveled toward the back of Britta’s head as she continued to stand facing her bedroom door. His eyebrows rose.

There was a familiar shout from the bedroom. “They’re all ready! Jelly Belly was particularly ornery but I got him all squared away.”

All eyes fell on Ian as he emerged holding a carrier with each hand, a third wedged awkwardly under his arm. Jeff noted with surprise he was adorned in casual wear consisting of a medium blue t-shirt, dusted up jeans, and white tennis shoes.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Ian scoffed and in nonverbal response tilted his head toward one of the carriers.

Britta ignored Jeff and beamed as she surveyed the carriers, taking one from Ian. Her voice rose in a sickeningly-sweet manner as she said, “Oh, they will be so happy to be in a nicer place.” She peered into the carrier. “Now Daniel, you behave.”

There was a meow.

Jeff pinched Annie’s arm. She turned to look up at him, a smirk on her face.

He opened his mouth again but stopped, and for one of the first times in his life was not quite sure what to say about the situation.

Troy appeared unfazed by the appearance of Ian Duncan and did a little jump with a clap before bending down to look into the carrier Ian was now placing on the floor.

“Which one is this? He’s so cute. Um, you know he only has one eye, right?”

Britta smiled warmly. “That’s Mister Whiskers. But since you’ll be roommates you can call him Walter. He was sick a little bit ago but now he’s doing much better.”

Troy nodded and stood. He and Abed promptly did their handshake and unbuttoned their top shirts to reveal bright green t-shirts with white lettering.

They said in unison, “#Brittasmove.” 

**********************************

The Greendale Seven (plus one) encountered some obstacles throughout the morning, most notably in Abed and Troy fooling around with various packing supplies and devising some annoying pranks and games.

Or at least that was Jeff’s opinion. He let out a loud groan when they yet again ran out of packing tape.

“Goddamn it, I just ran out to buy another roll, and now this!” He scowled as he held up the now empty roll.

Annie, looking up from her efforts at securing the kitchen plates, smiled nervously.

Britta was in a fit of hysterics at Abed opening the bathroom door to reveal Troy taped to the back of it.

“You guys are the best! It’s going to be so much fun living with you!”

Abed nodded excitedly. He looked back and forth between Troy and Britta. “I was thinking, if Annie didn’t have a baby, then perhaps it would be more logical for her to live with us, especially since she went to high school with Troy. But, given our situation, this makes so much more sense. While Britta’s several years older than Troy, one could say her emotional maturity was stunted in her late high school phase. And yet she has more worldy experience. Troy is attempting to become more wordly. Where will this lead? I predict shenanigans.” He raised his eyebrows up and down.

Britta furrowed her brow. “You said I’m older than Troy, but I’m also older than you, right?” She looked at him curiously as she added, “You’re like around Troy’s age?”

Abed stared at her blankly and blinked.

Troy grinned and said from his anchored state, “Britta, you’re badass. The way you played that dude was amazing. Abed and I keep talking about it. You can teach us so much! You’re like a real spy.”

Britta’s face suddenly went pink and she ducked her head down before swiftly turning around and yelling over her shoulder, “I have to grab some stuff from my room.”

Annie watched her go and exchanged worried looks with Shirley.

Jeff walked over to them and said in a low voice, “What’s wrong? Look, I know you probably didn’t want Troy to mention the whole thing today, but …”

Annie cut him off with a tap on his arm, “Jeff, that’s not it. She hasn’t been the same since then. I hope she’s okay.”

Shirley shook her head. “That girl keeps saying it wasn’t a big deal. But I know better. I know when a woman is creeped out.”

Jeff’s eyes widened and he turned to see Ian staring with hesitation at the now closed bedroom door.   He walked over to him and whispered, “We need to talk. Later. You and me. Beers.”

Ian nodded absentmindedly and murmured, “Righty.” 

********************************

After some blood (Ian, merely a flesh wound), sweat (everyone except Abed) and tears (Troy), they were able to move Britta into 3624 Dresser Avenue, Apartment 303.

Britta stood in the living room and regarded her array of boxes. “This is cool, guys. Thanks. You can all go now.”

“Brit-ta, we can help you unpack. You shouldn’t have to do this all yourself.”

Britta shrugged. “It’s no biggie. It’s Saturday. You guys have other stuff to do, and Shirley you’ve got your kids and baby and stuff. Thanks, really, but I’ve got this.”

Shirley exchanged concerned looks with Annie, Jeff, Ian, and Troy.

Pierce was in the middle of arguing with Abed over the placement of the coffee table. “I told you, A-bed, this is in the way.   Let’s move it over there.”

“But this is my table, Pierce. You’re the only one who crashed into it.”

“You’re going to get someone killed.”

“Strange, that sounds familiar for some reason.”

Shirley rolled her eyes in their direction and cleared her throat. She addressed Britta. “Sweetie, we are all happy to help you. And I checked in with Andre, and he’s doing fine with the boys.”

Britta glanced around at all of them. Everyone was nodding, and Annie had a pleading look on her face.

Britta’s expression softened. “Well, sure, I guess I could use some help. Maybe it’ll go faster. But I’ll buy everyone pizza.”

Jeff reached for his wallet. 

**********************************

Ian leaned forward in the booth, a beer between his hands. He said in a hushed tone, “So this is nice. Just you and me. My, helping someone relocate is damn cumbersome and monotonous. I’m glad to get a break.”

Jeff rolled his eyes.

“This is really weird. Why did you help today?”

Ian shrugged. “Miss Perry needed some help with the cats. They don’t always mind her, particularly Daniel. But he seems to let me pick him up readily enough. The poor boy is so skittish. Miss Perry has this notion that the ghost of Suzie B. is haunting him.”

Jeff raised his eyebrows. “Since when do you know Britta’s cats?”

Ian explained in a droll tone, “She’s needed some help from time to time. It’s quid pro quo, something you’re not always so good at abiding.” He narrowed his eyes at Jeff before he turned his attention to his beer and took a sip. He added, “She helps me with my crabs. I cat sit when she’s out of town. It’s win-win.”

Jeff let out a long sigh. “You still have crabs.”

Ian nodded vigorously, a giddy grin spreading over his face. “I do, my boy. And now I have that bastard Chang again. Now _that’s_ something I might choose to hold against Miss Perry. But I suppose in some ways it’s working out.”

Jeff cocked his head. “What the hell? You hate Chang.”

Ian continued to nod. He wiped some perspiration from his head, frowning for a moment at the bandage wrapped around his knuckles. He answered, “I do. But you’re aware he was living in the school vents? And then he and Miss Perry had that _incident_ , and well, turns out she’s now partial to him for being friends with that damn monkey, _your girls boobs_ , and now the Dean rescinded his security privileges. So he’s back at my place. And the Dean’s damn relieved, I must say.”

“So what do you mean it’s working out?”

Ian leaned back and patted his stomach with a satisfied sigh. “Turns out he’s a damn fine cook. The other night he made risotto with mushrooms.”

Jeff shook his head. “So she pressured you into taking him in again? How did she manage that exactly?”

Ian shifted in his seat and took another sip of beer. He avoided Jeff’s gaze as he began to peel off the wrapper from his bottle. “Did you know she tried to coax that monkey out of the vents, but it wouldn’t come out? Even with the monkey gas, it seems to be set in its ways.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Ian looked up sharply. His voice became lower and more measured. “She doesn’t ask for much from people, you know. She just wants things to be _fair_.”

“She wants the glory.”

Ian slammed his bottle down and jabbed his finger forward. “You know what, Winger, you can shove it. After what she did for you and Annie. We all heard it. And she didn’t need to do it. You should be grateful. She’s one of the kindest people I know. Sure, she sometimes wants recognition, but is that a crime? And you should hear the way she talks about Annie and Sophie. She considers them family.   Maybe you could give her the courtesy of some respect.”

Jeff’s eyes widened. He took a gulp of his beer and bit his lip.

“I never said I didn’t respect her.”

“Oh please. After the way you treated her.”

Jeff leaned back in the booth and looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ian watched him curiously. He arched a brow. “Study room table romp? And then it’s all wham bam, thank you ma’am?”

“We had an understanding. It was completely consensual.”

Ian nodded thoughtfully. “Right. But that still doesn’t make it _respectful_.”

Jeff took a swig of beer. “Oh please. Britta does stuff like that all the time.”

Ian appeared to tense. He said matter-of-factly, “That’s a discussion for another day. But, _no_ , she does not. And even so, it’s still not _respectful_.”

Jeff looked at him incredulously. “What, are you and her like _a thing_ now? That’s insane. And when the hell did this happen?”

Ian shook his head. “No, we are not.”

Jeff smirked and proceed to attempt to clink his bottle to Ian’s. He missed as Ian moved his beer out of the way. Jeff frowned. “Oh, but you’re _hoping._ Don’t tell me otherwise.”

Ian eyed his bandage with some alarm but then shifted his attention back to their conversation. He let out a wistful sigh and said, “That may have been true at one point, but er, I’ve given that up. She’s a little preoccupied, so I’ve decided to settle for being her friend.”

Jeff raised his eyebrows. “But you’re jealous of _me_ that she and I….”

Ian scowled and cut him off. “I don’t want to think about it. You’re a bastard, Winger. You didn’t realize how good you could have had it.”

Jeff chuckled to himself before he responded. “Please. Britta and I would have been a disaster. Everyone knows it.” 

Ian gulped down more beer. “That’s probably true. Plus, then you wouldn’t be with Miss Annie. You seem positively _happy_ these days.”

“Whatever.”

They drank in silence for about a minute. 

Jeff finally cleared his throat before saying, “I do respect her, you know. I am grateful for what she did. And Annie pretty much considers her the sister she never had.”

“Well there you go. Maybe you should tell her sometime?”

Jeff winced. “Christ. Fine. After we’re done with this round, I’ll go back there and tell her, okay?”

Ian wiggled his eyebrows. “Tut tut. Remember, you owe me a _favor_ for that time I subbed for Annie this summer."

“Oh God, you’re seriously calling that in now?”

“You’re going to have another beer and spend quality time with me.” 

********************************

Shirley nestled Ben to her as she continued, “While initially I may have been a little skeptical of you moving in with such young boys, I don’t like the idea of you living alone. And you don’t seem to mind their antics, so I guess it’s fine.”

Britta rolled her eyes. “Why thank you for your _blessing_ , Shirley.” She leaned back in a chair and propped her feet up. She tilted her head toward the bedroom door. “And thanks for having your dude come over and set up my bed. Especially since Jeff and Professor Duncan fled after they shoved my dresser in there.”

Annie, who was kneeling on the floor and shuffling through Abed’s DVD collection, perked up. “They needed a break. Just like we’re taking a break.”

“You know they’re at a bar.”

“That’s fine.”

“They’ll come back wasted.”

Annie pursed her lips. “I trust that Jeff won’t do that. He knows how important today is. And we’re picking up Sophie later and he won’t let himself be drunk in front of her.”

“Really? Oh, cool.” Britta shrugged.

Andre called out from the bedroom, “Shirley baby, where the fudge is my wrench?”

Shirley wrinkled her brow and shouted, “I’m nursing our son, the one who I gave birth to _without an epidural_. You can find your own wrench!”

Annie and Britta startled and looked at each other with wide eyes.

Britta smiled nervously. “Yikes, Shirley.”

Andre poked his head in. “I’m sorry, babe. You know what, I’m sure Abed’s got one somewhere. He told me he built a time machine.”

Annie stifled a giggle.

“Where is he, anyway?” Andre glanced around the room.

Britta smirked. “He’s in the Dreamatorium with Troy and the kids.” She pointed toward a door near the kitchen.  
  
Andre squinted. “The Dreama-what now?” 

**********************************

“Welcome back, my finely wasted fellows.”

Britta lifted up a glass of white wine and gave a nod from her spot in the living room chair. She then chugged some of it back.

Jeff and Ian hung up their jackets near the front door. Ian shuffled in and was about to sit down on the couch when Britta said tersely, “Could you make some popcorn? The kids wanted some. Plus you guys probably need to eat something after your bender, right?”

Ian made his way toward the kitchen and called out, “Jeffrey and I had two beers. I’d hardly call that a bender.”

“Oh, cool.”

She smiled to herself and then turned her attentions to Jeff with a neutral expression. She watched as he sprawled out on the couch.

“Hey!” She leaned over and whacked his foot with the back of her hand.

Jeff smirked. “What? I’m tired. I helped you haul how much crap up here earlier?”

She shifted back into her chair. “Yeah, well, thanks.”

Jeff smiled slightly. “No problem. Where is everyone? And I take it by _kids_ you mean Troy and Abed?”

Britta let out a quick laugh. She gestured over to a pack ‘n play next to her chair where a sleeping Ben resided.

Jeff peered over at him and smiled.

She added, “Jordan and Elijah are also here.   They’re with Troy and Abed over there.” She tilted her head toward the Dreamatorium. She continued, “And Andre and Shirley insisted on finishing off my bedroom because Shirley says I needed to be ‘taken care of.’” She placed her wine down on the side table and put the final three words in air quotes while rolling her eyes.

“Ah. Where’s Annie?”

“You didn’t ask about Pierce.”

“Where’s Annie?”

Britta smirked and resumed sipping her wine. “She and Pierce went to go get Sophie early. They thought it might be nice, since Andre and the kids are here, if we were all together.”

Jeff frowned. “She didn’t text me.”

“She knew you and Professor Duncan were busy. And honestly, I think she thought you’d be all tickled if you came back and Sophie were here.”

Jeff suppressed a smile and grabbed the remote control for the television. He flicked it on and began to scroll through the channels.

He muttered, “If I haven’t made it clear, I wanted to thank you for what you did for the munchkin.”

Britta’s face reddened. She began to examine the armrest. “Yeah, sure.”

Jeff slowly sat up and paused the television on Dora the Explorer. He turned to look at her. He cleared his throat and then said, “I mean it. We couldn’t have gotten the information without you. And I know that we put you in a really awkward situation. And I’m fully aware he’s an ass. So, really, if there’s anything I can do…”

She waived the air and watched the animated program on the television. “Eh. I didn’t do it for _you_. I did it for Sophie. I don’t want any little girl to be stuck with some creep when she can’t even defend herself.”

The appearance of a tear falling down her cheek startled him.

“Britta, what…”

Her eyes still on the television, she quickly interjected, “Hey, are you going to let Adam see her again? If he does, he’ll totally be supervised, right?”

Jeff continued to regard Britta’s profile thoughtfully as he replied, “We haven’t heard anything from him since that night. Our lawyer, my friend Mark, assures us that we have leverage should he continue to request unsupervised visitation. But yeah, er, legally we can’t refuse him supervised visits.”

“Do you think he’ll be back?”

“I dunno.”

At that moment the front door opened.

_“Da-dee! Fee back! Ta-da!”_

Britta’s expression shifted to one of gleeful warmth. She exchanged a look with Jeff and then motioned for Sophie. “Come here, Sophie! Auntie Britta missed you so much!”

_“Tit-ta!”_

Annie smiled over at Jeff and they both then watched as Sophie ran toward Britta, who reached over and scooped her onto her lap. Sophie promptly snuggled in, and Britta began to place loud smacking kisses all over her head.

Pierce yelped as he dropped Sophie’s bag on his foot.

Annie joined Jeff on the couch and gave him a quick kiss.

“You’re back. I was hoping to surprise you.”

Jeff felt the blush creep across his cheeks. He said in a low voice, “Missed you too.”

Annie licked her lower lip and shyly tucked her head into his side. Jeff grabbed her hand.

Britta watched the interplay and rolled her eyes. “Guys! Come on, I mean I know you haven’t had any _alone time_ in like two weeks, but Jesus get a room or something. I’ll even watch Sophie while you Do It.”

Jeff looked at Annie, who ducked her head guiltily. He squinted at her for a moment and then turned to Britta and stuck out his tongue.

 _“Oooh. Do-a du ec-spoi-ah.”_  Sophie opened her mouth as she became transfixed by the television.

Popping sounds came from the kitchen, and the door to the Dreamatorium swung open. Abed emerged wearing a long brown coat and tie. Troy followed with his constable badge and hat. Jordan and Elijah tailed with stifled giggles as they hit each other with two toilet plungers.

Abed sniffed the air. “What do you make of this aroma, Constable Reggie?”

Troy nodded, his eyebrows lowering in his most contemplative expression. “Why I believe it is butter, mixed with a trace of corn.”

“Very good. It must be what the locals eat. In order to blend in, we should consume some.”

Troy grinned.

Ian came out to the living room with a big bowl of popcorn. He was immediately descended upon by the Dreamatorium horde.

“Well Bloody Hell! I was going to eat some of that!”

The door to Britta’s bedroom then opened, and Shirley and Andre stood there beaming.

“Bri-ta, we have something to show you!” Shirley waived a hand in the air, her other hand enlaced with Andre’s.

Britta smiled slightly and flushed. She stood and hoisted Sophie in her arms. They all proceeded to cram their way into Britta’s room and entryway.

Britta looked around and noticed the made bed with green plaid sheets and dark blue comforter, the beat up dark brown dresser against the wall, and cat play stand in the corner. Her eyes popped and she wiped her cheek with her free hand.

“You guys! Thanks. I love it.”

Shirley and Andre squealed and then Shirley pulled Britta into a hug.

_“Yay!”_

Jeff put his arm around Annie and kissed the top of her head. He whispered to her, “Okay, you’re right. I don’t feel like such a Grinch now. This was the right thing to do.”

Annie swatted his chest and laughed.

Britta knelt and put Sophie down on the floor. She then reached over and proceeded to open the three carriers. Two cats, one with one eye, promptly left their confines and began to slink around the room.

_“Doggie!”_

Britta nodded to Sophie and grinned. She then turned her attentions to the third carrier. She leaned her head down and peered inside. “Now, Daniel, don’t be like that. Sophie wants to see you.”

Jeff motioned the gang to relocate to the living room. They followed.

As they began to settle into various seats and Abed was about to make his movie pronouncement, there was a knock at the front door.

Abed exchanged curiously looks with Troy. They both shrugged and walked toward the door and opened it.

The Dean stood there, a six-pack of beer in one hand and a slushie in the other. He wore a hopeful expression.

“Sorry to barge in, but I thought maybe you guys need some help? I’ve been following your tweets.”

Abed gave one nod. “Oh that’s right. I almost forgot you were a regular this season.”

The Dean hunched over dejectedly.

“So did I.”


	17. Alone Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie and Jeff are open to help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffity fluff fluff fluff

Annie rolled to the side, sweat glistening over her neck and chest. She panted, “Oh, god.”

She could hear Jeff’s gasps along side her. She turned her body away and grabbed the thin top sheet, pulling it up to her chest.

She felt Jeff’s firm arm drape across her and then his warm and almost disturbingly smooth body press against hers. She always marveled at how cuddly he could be after _naptime_ , despite his tendency to portray a sarcastic and flippant demeanor to the rest of the world.

She treasured these moments.

He mumbled into her neck, “I love you.”

She smiled and flipped over to face him. She drew him into a slow kiss, feeling his handsome hobo scruff graze her lips and cheek.

“I love you, too.”

She watched as a grin spread across his face. He continued to watch her with playful eyes.

He uttered in a low voice, “How can it still be this good when we’ve been together a year and a half?”

She inched herself up on the pillow so that she was more level with him and gently brushed his stubbled cheek with the back of her hand.

“It has been almost that long, hasn’t it?” She smiled slightly.

He furrowed his brow. “It’s exactly that long, Annie. Remember, my birthday is six months after our first what-shall-we-call-it, _serious_ attempted romantic entanglement?”

She let out a chuckle. “That’s one way to describe it. And I hate to do anything _half-seriously_ , you know. I have a little bit of a competitive side.” She began to run her hand through his hair, thereby letting it pop up in all directions.

Faking an annoyed expression, he said, “You don’t say. But you know, I do seem to recall a _half-hearted_ attempt on your part.”

She arched a brow, her hand stilling. She paused and then let out a huff before replying, “You can’t count the debate. And really, you know how much effort I put into that. Sure, it may have been strategic…”

He cut her off with a kiss before pulling back with a smirk. “No, that was some _serious_ kissing. I meant our first New Year’s.”

She felt her cheeks warm and she bit her lower lip. She looked down and said in a low voice, “That was innocent. You just looked so cute. And you were all dressed up.”

She tentatively looked back up and met his gaze.

His eyes twinkling, he said, “Annie, Annie. Let us now be in a place where we can admit things. You _wanted_ me.”

She scoffed and then began to stammer, “I merely wanted to give you a _chaste_ kiss.” She then met his eyes resolutely and added with an even tone, “And anyway, that’s what _you_ called it when Troy asked.”

His face broke out in a wide grin. “Admit it. You wanted this.” He gestured with his arm over the length of his body.

She swatted his chest and flipped over. He promptly grabbed her into a spoon, growling into her ear as she laughed and squirmed.

“Jeeeeff! I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Right. And I’m well aware you can’t resist me in a _suit_. So I think you have a thing for tuxes too.”

“Maybe.”

She turned back over and kissed him again, this time slowly and deeply.

As they pulled apart she asked with a sly smile, “Did you have a nice birthday?”

He chuckled softly as he reflected on the day they had spent together. It had started off with an appointment for Sophie to see Lauren at the salon. He had already thanked Annie profusely for not throwing him another surprise party this year. Although he had to admit he was touched last year that she had put that much effort into celebrating his birthday (no one had done that for him since his mom at age nine), he felt this year had been much more relaxing.

He, Annie, and Sophie had gone to the park where the munchkin had unleashed her inner hobsplorer and thrown herself all over the toddler play lot in between demands for being pushed on the swing set. He had readily gone along with it all, relieved he didn’t have to suffer awkward silences with other Greendale students or get into everyone’s speculations over how _old_ he was. He knew the munchkin didn’t give a crap about his age. And to his continued bafflement, neither did Annie. She had laughingly snapped pics of him and Sophie on the playground, and he had resisted checking to see if she had posted any of them anywhere, as he really didn’t want to know right now. She wasn’t always adept at capturing his ‘good’ side and would roll her eyes if he asked about it.

After the playground, they had gone to get lunch at a diner nearby where again he had been preoccupied in helping Sophie figure out how to color in her coloring mat the waitress had provided. She had resisted his guidance efforts, grabbing a purple crayon with her chubby hands and proceeding to scribble all over the page. Annie again had laughed and given him a light push against his shoulder before she had nuzzled down into his side and watched Sophie with him.

He roused back to the present moment and answered her softly, “Yes I did. I enjoyed spending the day with you and the hobster, and most importantly, I’m thrilled to be spending the _night_ with you.”

She giggled and placed a kiss on his cheek. “We don’t have _all night_ you know _._ Britta said she doesn’t mind Sophie falling asleep in her bed for a little while, but sooner or later she’s going to want to be relieved.”

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “Right. Oh well.”

She added, “I’m surprised you’re not making wise cracks about Britta not being responsible enough to make sure Sophie doesn’t fall off her bed.”

Jeff took in a sharp breath before he responded. “Actually, I trust Britta with her completely. There’s no question in my mind she’d protect Sophie from anything and everything.”

***************************

Troy silently motioned them into Apartment 303.

Jeff promptly moved out of the way of the door so that Troy could shut it. He turned and startled as he spied a framed photo on the wall of three cats dressed in mariachi outfits. He squinted at it and opened him mouth but was stopped by a tug on his sleeve from Annie.

Troy's eyes darted from side to side before he whispered, “She’s out. We’ve all been really, really quiet, just in case.”

Annie smiled and patted him on the arm. “Troy, you don’t have to be _that_ quiet. She’s a pretty good sleeper once she’s down, as long as someone’s right there.” She craned her neck to see past him toward the door to Britta’s room. She asked, “Britta’s still with her, right?”

Troy nodded. “Yeah, but Abed and I wanted to prove we’re super responsible. That we can babysit for you guys whenever you need us.”

Annie and Jeff exchanged alarmed looks.

Annie turned back to Troy with a bright smile. “That’s sweet, but you and Abed don’t have a lot of experience actually taking care of a toddler, right? It’s a little different than merely playing with her.”

Troy suddenly frowned. He said in a low and serious voice, “I used to babysit my cousins when I was sixteen. One was two and the other one was five. I know a lot about little kids.”

Jeff’s eyebrows rose and he looked at Annie with a shrug.

Annie gulped and rubbed Troy’s shoulder. “Oh. God, I’m sorry, Troy. I just assumed.”

Troy continued to frown as he said, “Well, you assumed wrong. And Abed could help me. He’s pretty good with getting Sophie to do stuff. She listens to him. Once she stops laughing, that is.”

Annie looked at Jeff with a silent question. He shrugged again.

She turned back to Troy. “Okay, let’s talk about it soon. I guess we could use more _alone time_ , and if you and Abed wanted to babysit, we could try it out.”

Troy’s face relaxed and he smiled broadly at Annie. “Thanks. You won’t regret it.”

Annie nodded.

At that moment, Britta spoke in a loud whisper as she slipped out of her bedroom, “Guys, please with the _alone time_ crap. We all know you were Doing It.” She marched up to Jeff and punched him on the shoulder. “Hey, Happy Birthday, by the way. Hope you enjoyed yourself.”

Jeff winced and shifted awkwardly, looking down at the floor while placing his hands in his pockets. His cheeks began to flush.

Annie stared at Britta and said in an exasperated tone, “Really?”

Eyeing what she was sure were scratches from Jeff’s stubble along Annie’s jawbone and neck, Britta shrugged. “Uh huh. Cool. That’s a long time to go without Doing It when you like live together at your stage of your relationship, right? I mean, not that I really know, but hey, I’m happy to help out.”

Annie noticed Britta’s eye line and placed a hand self-consciously over her neck.

Britta smirked and added, “She was adorable with Abed and Troy earlier. They taught her some games, so don’t blame me on that one, but look, they were probably harmless.”

Annie nodded in confusion at Britta’s words. Looking past her toward the bedroom, she asked, “Did you just leave her in your bed? She could fall off.”

Britta glanced back at the bedroom door and then exchanged a grin with Troy.

Jeff squinted. “What are we missing?”

Troy clasped his hands together under his chin. “Abed’s with her. He read her a bedtime story and then fell asleep next to her. We put the bed against the wall so she can’t fall off the other side. They look so _cute_.”

Annie smiled and looked up at Jeff, who was frowning.

He mumbled, “I hope he didn’t mess up her hair too much. She had her curls done today.” 

********************************

Four days later, they headed out for Thanksgiving. Annie seemed giddy the entire drive, expressing her enthusiasm for going to her _second_ Thanksgiving’s at Dorie’s. Jeff shrugged, figuring it wasn’t a big deal before he had to consider that it _was_ a pretty big fucking deal. Not only had he never brought a woman home before Annie but now they were on their second round of Thanksgiving and soon to be _third_ round of Christmas.

_Christ._

He felt a familiar waive of what he now knew was anxiety wash over him, gripping the steering wheel while attempting to refocus on the present moment. He and Annie and the Wee One were merely going to his mom’s house. It would probably be a nice time, and Annie would talk to his mom, and his mom would be happy. And the munchkin would play with the fur creatures and she would be happy.

 _And I will be happy_.

_Christ. I think I am happy. Is it okay to be happy? Doesn’t something always ruin it all? Like state bar associations, fathers, and Big Cheddar?_

He refocused on his breath.

Once they arrived, Dorie per usual greeted them with quick hugs before absconding with Sophie, Hank trailing her heels.

Jeff took a moment to smile softly at Annie before giving her a tender kiss in the entryway. She pulled him into a firm hug.

Dorie called out, “The bunnies are out, please be careful!”

Jeff rolled his eyes and turned toward the stairs to take their bags to the guestroom. Annie walked off toward the living room.

After he returned downstairs, Jeff made his way to the living room and spotted Annie sitting on the couch, her hands clasped over her knees. He was instantly conscious of her nervous smile. He cocked his head and looked at her curiously. Her eyes shifted toward the kitchen. He followed her line of sight to see his mom kneeling on the floor with Sophie and one of the bunnies.

Dorie immediately flushed, her eyes widening. She cleared her throat before she said, “Dear, I er, want to show you something.” She addressed Sophie. “Sophie dear, why don’t you take this over to your mommy?” She handed her a small blue rubber ball. Sophie grinned and toddled off toward Annie.

Dorie stood and motioned for Jeff. He obeyed and followed her to the wall near the kitchen where the dreaded linen closet usually was.

He took a step back in surprise as he regarded the space. The door had been removed, and the upper shelves had been rearranged so that they were now evenly spaced along the whole length of the closet. It appeared that the back wall of the closet had been pushed forward to create a much more shallow space. In fact, it no longer seemed to be a closet at all but more of a ‘knickknack’ display space. His eyes skimmed over the shallow shelves, noting the numerous porcelain figurines on the upper shelves and sturdy books on the lower ones (near Sophie level).

He turned to his mother and arched his brow.

“What do you think? I thought this would be more practical since I never used that old closet anyway.”

Jeff felt something well up in his throat. He took a big gulp and glanced over at Annie, who was watching him with a tentative but loving expression from the couch, Sophie on her lap. He let his eyes go back to his mother, and he said, “Um, it’s fine I guess. You didn’t have to do that you know.”

Dorie let out a breath. “It was no problem. And like I said, it’s much more functional now.”

He nodded and fixed his gaze on the shelves. “Still, this must have taken a lot of work.”

Dorie shrugged, her body relaxing more as she watched his reaction. “It’s fine. I paid a friend to do it. My handyman if you will.   He had the idea of moving everything forward since I had no need for the extra space. It only took him a day.”

Jeff turned back to his mother and looked at her suspiciously. “I don’t want to know about ‘your handyman.’” He put the last two words in air quotes.

To Annie’s amusement, she watched as Dorie lightly swatted Jeff’s arm with a scoff.

Jeff appeared unfazed.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but it’s nothing like you’re insinuating. He really is just a dear.”

Jeff shrugged. “Okay.”

***********************

Annie grinned as she sat down to the table.

“I love your Thanksgiving, Dorie. Everything smells amazing.”

Dorie glanced up from her fussing with Sophie’s bib. “Thank you, dear. I’m so happy we have a nice tradition going on. And I know way more about my son these days with you to talk to.”

She smiled slyly.

“Mom!”

_“No, gamma! Fee not bib.”_

Dorie looked at Sophie intently and said, “Yes, you do, dear. We wouldn’t want mashed potatoes getting on that lovely purple dress, now would we? Then it would be all yucky.” She adeptly tied the bib in back of Sophie’s neck and then patted her. “There we go.”

_“No gamma.”_

Sophie began to irritably grab at the ties while screeching unintelligibly about the injustice of it all.

Jeff shot her a look from across the table. He held up his hand and made a shushing motion.

She abruptly stopped and, with a giggle, grabbed her fork.

Dorie tilted her head and stared at him. Jeff shrugged.

Watching Sophie continue to laugh at Jeff as she smashed her potatoes, Annie rolled her eyes. “Jeff.”

“Annie.” He grinned and began to delve into his turkey.

“You can’t just treat her as you do the members of our study group.”

“And why not? It works.” He looked up from his plate and winked at Sophie.

More giggles.

Annie feigned an exasperated sigh.

“Very impressive, dear. But how’s the bed training, going?”

Jeff suddenly grimaced. He put his fork down and said, “She was up from two to five this morning and had a dance party at four thirty.” He added sarcastically, “That was a lot of _fun_.”

Annie smiled at him with sympathy.

Dorie chuckled and placed a kiss on the top of Sophie’s head.

_“Gamma!”_

Jeff continued, “With the exception of _that_ , it’s getting better. We’re now down to me or Annie sitting in a chair. Then we make our escape a little later into the night. But half the time she ends up crying.”

Annie looked over at Sophie thoughtfully, watching her eat. “She’s scared.”

 _“She’s_ scared? Did you see that haunted look she’s been giving us when we put her down? Jesus.” He shuddered.

“You’ve been watching too many horror movies.”

Jeff pointed his index finger in Annie’s direction as he said, “That’s why they use cute little girls to creep people out. She’s really spooky. The other night I could have sworn she was looking off into the corner and talking to a ghost.”

Dorie murmured, “Right. Little children do that. Maybe she has an imaginary friend?”

Jeff shook his head and picked up his fork again. “Nope. Ghost.” He stabbed a piece of turkey.

Annie watched him with feigned annoyance.

A little voice interjected, _“Da-dee Fee not like bed. Id dak. Fee wan seep wid Mama.”_

“Of course you do. But see, so do _I._ ”

“Jeff!”

*****************************

As they were washing up the dishes, Dorie turned to Jeff. She draped a towel over her arm and placed the other on her hip. “So dear, what’s the latest with Annie’s ex?”

He sighed as he scrubbed a pan. Keeping his eyes on it, he said, “Nothing. Nada. Zilch.”

“Oh my.”

He nodded and glanced up to see her watching him with a curious expression. He frowned. “What?”

She reached out and began to drum her fingers on the counter, looking away. “What are you and Annie going to do?”

He shrugged and resumed scrubbing, this time with more force.

“We’re just going to let it be.”

“Jeffrey. You cannot just expect him to go away. You need to deal with him eventually.”

He found himself quickly saying, “Why? Bill went away.”

Dorie stiffened and threw the towel on the counter. She crossed her arms over her chest and steadied herself before she said, “That was different.”

Jeff continued scrubbing. “See, I don’t think so. Both assholes don’t deserve to be fathers. And if they want to just go off on their merry ways, then at least their kids can get on with their lives.”

“And what does that mean for Sophie?”

He paused in his cleaning efforts, dropping the sponge into the soapy liquid. He turned to face her and dried off his hands.

“We keep life the same. Me, Annie, and Sophie. We have a good thing going, and frankly, we won’t miss him. I’ll take care of Sophie.”

Dorie shook her head. “He could show back up again. He might be merely ashamed and licking his wounds.”

Jeff grimaced. “He should be ashamed. And anyway, even if he does come around again, we’ve already had Mark communicate with his lawyer, and we’ve been very clear that partial custody is off the table. He can come and see her, but only if Annie is present. And really, I think this whole custody thing of his was merely a ploy to control Annie. He doesn’t even care.”

Dorie eyed the floor for several beats before looking back up at him. “So now that it didn’t work, what do you think he’ll do?”

Jeff shrugged. “There’s nothing he can do. Maybe he’ll go get his kicks elsewhere and leave us the fuck alone.”

Dorie nodded. “I hope so, dear. But at any rate, it might be nice to have some closure.”

“Sophie doesn’t need closure. She barely knows who he is.”

Dorie closed her eyes with a pained expression. “Doesn’t she? Jeffrey, look at what your father’s leaving did to you. Maybe if he had explained things better, or…”

Jeff made a fist and lightly tapped it on the counter, looking off toward the window. “That whole situation was complicated way beyond this. Trust me, him leaving was the best thing that could have happened to you and me. I was relieved.”

“And yet you still felt abandoned.”

“See, but that’s nuts. I know that.”

She opened her eyes and walked over to him. She carefully reached up and placed her fingers lightly on his chin and turned his head toward her. She arched her head up and said evenly, “But you still felt abandoned.”

He looked down at her, his eyes widening. “Christ. Mom, can we just not do this?”

She shook her head and continued evenly, “I’ve been thinking a lot about things the past couple years since Annie and Sophie came into our lives, and it wasn’t good for you to have your father just run off. Yes, we were _safe_ , but you needed a proper explanation. And that needed to come from me. And frankly, I was crap at doing it.”

She dropped her hand and looked at him with tearful eyes.

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter, keeping eye contact with her. He said in a low voice, “I don’t think there’s anything you could have said that would have made it any better.”

“He didn’t love me. We were having fun. He liked to seek thrills, gamble, drink, have lots of sex.”

“Mom….”

“Let me finish. He cheated on me all the time. And I knew it, but see, I didn’t think much of myself at the time, so I ran off with him. He said we’d have an adventure, go out west. Go live in the mountains or some crap like that. And I thought, what do I have to lose? So I went with him. And then I found out about you. When I told him, he was upset. We hadn’t planned on me getting pregnant.”

Jeff nodded. “I figured.”

She gulped before she continued, “But we both didn’t believe in abortion, and well it was more taboo those days to give a child up for adoption, and frankly although I was scared as hell, I _wanted you_. So I told him that, and well, I think he tried to do what he thought was the right thing. We married because that’s _what people do_. But really, before you were even born I started to see the signs that he felt he could control me more. And well, he never really took to fatherhood. And it had nothing to do with _you_. Bill couldn’t form healthy attachments with anyone. I _tried_. But he was _broken_. And I am so, so, sorry that he broke a piece in you.”

Jeff was startled by the tears flowing down his mother’s cheeks. He stiffened and continued to keep his arms crossed. He mumbled, “So you know I’m broken too.”

“I said he broke a _piece_ of you. But I’ve seen it healing, dear. I tried so hard to heal it myself, telling you how much I loved you, telling you how wonderful you are, telling you how proud I was of you. But I know now that some of that was a mistake. You always thought you needed to…”

He interjected, “Show you that I was perfect. That you didn’t have to feel guilty. That I was okay.”

Blinking through her tears, she said, “Right. You know that’s all crap, right? I just want my son. I love you no matter what you do.”

A few minutes later, Annie made her way to the kitchen with Sophie in her arms. She stopped in the doorway and was taken by the sight of Jeff and his mom in a silent hug.

It looked like they had been that way for some time.

She turned and took Sophie upstairs. 

********************************

Annie leaned against the doorway to the sewing room, watching with amusement as Jeff knelt down and gave Sophie a kiss before handing a large thick cardboard book to his mother.

“This is her favorite. Make sure you read the dog in a growly voice.” Jeff looked at his mother with seriousness.

Dorie nodded. “I understand. I do a really good growly voice.”

Jeff squinted at her. “Okay. Or, um, I could read it to her.”

Dorie shook her head and pushed him gently on the arm. “Get out of here. Sophie and I like to have some time together. And I’m all ready for my camp out.” She swept her hand across her body and over to the air mattress next to Sophie’s toddler bed in the soothing coral room.

Sophie smiled from her spot in the bed and clutched her bear. _“Bye bye da-dee.”_

Jeff scoffed. “Well, fine. Okay. Um, you’re okay?”

_“Ya da-dee. Nite nite.”_

He furrowed his brow and leaned over to give her another kiss on her forehead. “Okay. Have a good time with grandma. Nite Nite.”

He turned back to his mother and whispered, “You’re sure you want to do this? It’ll hurt your back.”

Dorie rolled her eyes. “I do _pilates_ , dear. Just because I’m _old_ doesn’t mean I’m not in shape. And Sophie and I are going to have so much fun, aren’t we dear?”

_“Ya gamma!”_

Annie walked over and held out her hand. “Jeff, come on. Let’s leave them to it and go downstairs.”

Jeff accepted her hand and pulled himself up to his feet. “Okay.”

Annie smiled at Sophie. “Nite Nite sweetie. See you in the morning.”

_“Nite nite mama. Bye bye.”_

As they closed the door and entered the hallway, Jeff whispered, “I don’t understand why she’s doing this. She’s past fifty.”

“She’s not old Jeff. Remember, she had you at nineteen.”

“God, I know. But still.”

They made their way downstairs and Annie plopped down on the couch. Jeff made some popcorn, returning with a full bowl, which he placed on the coffee table in front of them.   He sat down and Annie nestled into his side.

“This is nice.” She craned her head so that she could catch his eye.

He smiled slightly. “Yeah. Who would have known we would have gotten so much _alone time_ lately? It almost feels like we’re actually dating.”

She placed a kiss on his chest. “Our friends and your mom love us. They want to help.”

He raised his eyebrows as she began to gently push on him. He allowed himself to fall to the side and then lie on his back. She followed and ended up on top of him so that they were facing each other, their bodies connecting from head to toe, her forehead pressed against his.

“You’re smooth.” He grinned at her before he allowed her to kiss him slowly.

She smiled against his lips when they stopped and then pulled her head up slightly so that she could see him. “I think we should take full advantage of your mom spending the night with Sophie.”

He took in a quick breath. “Nooooo.. Annie, seriously?”

She let out a low laugh. “I didn’t mean do anything _right here_. Bedroom?”

His eyes widened. “That’s next door to them!”

She giggled and began to trace her finger along the collar of his shirt. “I didn’t mean _right now_. Your mom gets up before five. She brought something to read, but she’ll probably fall asleep in there within an hour or two. We can sneak upstairs…”

He lowered his brow. “Annie.”

She unfastened his top button and kissed the skin beneath. “She’s fine with it. She told me earlier we should act like we’re completely alone in the house.”

“Annie!” He closed his eyes and grimaced. “Of course she said that. Christ.”

She ran her index finger lightly across his eyes. He opened them.

She placed a quick his on his nose and said, “She wants to help and she said she never got to be with you when you were Sophie’s age in your first bed. And if she wants us to have a good relationship, I think we should let her help us.”

“Um hm.”

“She’s your mom.”

He arched a brow and scrunched up his lips for a moment before he said, “You’re really good at manipulation, you know. Maybe you shouldn’t continue with health care administration. You could be a _lawyer_.”

Annie chuckled and placed another kiss on his neck. She mumbled, “I’m actually thinking of changing my major to a law profession.”

“What? Seriously? You want to be a lawyer? But I thought…”

She interjected, “Not a _lawyer_. I’m thinking of going into forensics. My class this semester is going really well. And I’ve always been kinda interested in it but I thought maybe it wasn’t for me.”

“Really? Why not? Annie, you’re amazing. You can do anything.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, um, probably not _anything_ , but thank you. I’ve kinda held back on this because of my dad. He works in forensics for the FBI. And I didn’t want to be like one of those girls, who goes into a profession because she wants to get closer to her distant dad. So I went like in a completely different direction.”

Under normal circumstances, he might have been a tad put off at Annie mentioning _her dad_ during a preliminary make out, but his curiosity got the better of him. He licked his lips, tasting her trademark strawberry lip-gloss.

“That’s nonsense. If you want to do forensics, do forensics.”

She nodded. “I think I’m going to.”

He frowned. “Good. But why the change of heart?”

She shrugged one shoulder and resumed eyeing the exposed flesh beneath his unbuttoned shirt. “I figured now that I was talking to my dad, well, I guess I realized I was being silly. There’s a lot I can do with forensics at the local level. Of course probably nothing fancy. I mean it’s not like I could even get into the FBI anyway.”

He smiled and ran his hand through her hair as he looked up at her. “Annie, you can do anything.”

She bit her lip and ducked her head for a moment before she re-met his gaze. “Not with my arrest and all.”

His eyes widened. “Arrest?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	18. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets a little more honest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. Life got dark. But never fear here’s another chapter! It’s a tad fluffy, but hope no one minds.

Annie shifted her position under the sheets as she felt the familiar force of Jeff pulling her in closer to him. She cracked open an eye and spotted the morning sunlight filtering in through the curtains. For a moment she panicked, wondering why Sophie hadn’t made a sound. She then remembered they were still at Dorie’s house, and likely she had allowed them to sleep in.

She smiled to herself and snuggled into the covers. She was conscious of a low grunt from behind her neck.

In the haze of her unfamiliar morning indulgence, her mind wandered to their conversation the previous evening, after her startling confession. She could still picture the look of shock on Jeff’s face.

_“Arrest?”_

She had been steeling herself for that moment. Although she had been fairly open with him that night two years ago when she had poured out her past on the confessional couch above Dildopolis, she had decided to hold back one tiny thing.

An itsy bitsy tiny thing.

She had told herself it didn’t matter, that he didn’t need to know. Everything had worked out. She hadn’t needed to do any jail time. And as cute as he was, he was clearly a _friend_ and she didn’t need to tell him _everything_.

Especially the stupid arrest thing.

It really was the stupidest thing ever.

She winced. And then she recalled the rest of the previous evening’s conversation:

_“Yeah, um, so I was arrested before that whole overdose thing.”_

_She held her breath as she watched his eyes continue to widen._

_He let out a couple low stilted laughs before saying in an odd tone, “You almost had me there. Ha ha.”_

_She bit her lip and looked him squarely in the eye._

_He gulped._

_She let out her breath before adding in a soft voice, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I did something incredibly stupid. I’m really ashamed of it.”_

_He motioned for her to allow him to sit up, and they proceeded to disentangle themselves so that they could sit facing one another on the couch. He ran his hand through his hair and then leaned his elbow against the upper part of the furniture._

_With a sigh, he said, “You were arrested. Um, okay. What did you do, jaywalk or something?”_

_His eyes appeared to be almost searching for signs that it was some huge joke._

_Annie found herself laughing nervously as she shook her head in reply. She avoided his gaze as she said, “I tried to steal my doctor’s prescription pad. Well, I had stolen it before, but this time some kid squealed on me when he saw me do it. It was some other patient. I don’t know why he was lurking around, but he went right to the receptionist and ratted me out. And when I tried to explain it was all a misunderstanding, no one believed me and they had me arrested.”_

_She resumed eye contact with him and watched as he appeared to let this information sink in._

_He nodded slowly as he said, “But it wasn’t a ‘misunderstanding.’ Your were trying to steal the prescription pads.”_

_She shrugged and replied in a lilting voice, “Well, sure, but I had to say something.”_

_He closed his eyes and grimaced. “I thought you didn’t need to steal the prescriptions anymore after Adam’s dad the oh-so-ethical doctor caught you guys and Adam hooked you up with his dealer.”_

_Her voice trembling, she answered, “That’s right. And it worked for a little while, but see then he dumped me and I didn’t have access to anything. I was desperate.”_

_Jeff’s eyes fell to hers, a seriousness in them she hadn’t quite seen before. “What an asshole.”_

_She nodded._

_He added, “Okay, I get it.”_

_Her head snapped up. “You do?”_

_He shrugged. “Like you said, you were addicted. You weren’t thinking clearly.”_

_She let out a sigh of relief and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. Her words tumbled out of her, “I really wasn’t. And then the police came and hauled me off to jail. I was humiliated.”_

_Her lip quivered some more as she continued, “And then they called my mom, and she was furious. She bailed me out and yelled at me. She told me how disappointed she was in me. How she didn’t know if she could get a lawyer to help us get rid of the charges. She didn’t seem to understand I needed help with an addiction and not merely erasing my arrest record. And she said I was setting a bad example for my brother.”_

_“God, Annie…”_

_She squeezed his hand again as she forced herself to continue, “So that’s the night I did the other stupid thing. I really thought I had ruined my whole life. I thought…”_

_Jeff urgently pulled her in to his chest and held her with a steadiness she hadn’t felt before. “It’s okay.” He placed a kiss on her temple._

_He added, “Thank god you weren’t successful at something.”_

_“I’m so sorry.”_

_He said resolutely, “You’re fine. Everything’s okay.”_

_She felt her body relax as she mumbled, “I didn’t think I needed to tell you when we first talked and then it became harder to just bring it up. And I didn’t want you to think I was even more of a loser.”_

_He pushed her back slightly and stared at her incredulously. “Loser? Are you serious? Annie, you’re amazing.”_

_She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. “But I was arrested. It’s on my record. I didn’t have to do jail time because they decided rehab was better. My mom only agreed to the first thirty days to satisfy the court, but then she was completely unsupportive. And with the whole pregnancy thing, she flipped out. And then Anthony turned on me too.”_

_He let out a low huff. “I’m not ashamed of you.”_

_“Oh.” She wiped her eye._

_He added, his rate of speech accelerating, “And if we’re talking about arrests, really, I’m honestly surprised I wasn’t arrested for my little deception. It was only because I was so crazy good at talking myself out of situations that the judge somehow thought I could just go back to college. I know I’m really, really awesome, but who are we kidding, that doesn’t make any sense does it?”_

_She smiled. “Now you sound like Abed.”_

_He watched her face brighten and continued earnestly, “It’s definitely a weak plot device. But my point is that I could have easily been in the same position as you. But I didn’t have an excuse of a physical addiction.   You’re always telling me addiction is a disease. It’s not your fault, Annie.”_

_She began to cry softly, feeling the relief wash over her._

Annie snapped back to the present moment, the awareness of a tear falling down her cheek. She reached above the covers to wipe it away.

Her thoughts drifted to how the rest of the night had gone once she had been relieved of her burden. Not only had Jeff been surprisingly understanding and forgiving of her having held back the issue of her arrest, but also he had fairly quickly helped her transition out of her shame and made jokes about most of Greendale being likely to get arrested.

He added some unsavory cracks about the Dean and Dalmatians before she had given him a stern look and he had made a dramatic show of zipping his mouth closed.

_“Jeff, he’s not actually into Dalmatians. Not real Dalmatians. It’s more of role-play thing. Or something. I’m not really sure.”_

_“Christ. What have you seen or heard as his assistant anyway?”_

_She deflected, waiving a hand in the air. “Anyway, I’m thinking if he’d really just focus, he’d have more luck with a particular suitor.”_

_Jeff arched a brow. “He has a suitor? Oh come on.”_

_“He does. Well, at least I think so. And I’m pretty sure the feelings are mutual.* But he just swats me off when I suggest he take him to dinner.”_

_Jeff rolled his eyes._

_“He says it’s too political.”_

_“Huh?”_

_“Nevermind.”_

And their conversation had continued like this, moving away from her confession.

She smiled to herself again, as she recalled the way Jeff overcame his initial reluctance at being _intimate_ again at this mother’s house and proceeded to engage her in a full-fledged make out in the living room.

He was always good at cheering her up. They had moved upstairs awhile later when they were convinced Dorie was asleep. Jeff had urged them both to be extra quiet, just in case.

She felt her cheeks blush at the memory. 

*****************************

 Annie busied herself in picking up Sophie’s stuffed animals in the guestroom, making sure to place them neatly on the crisply made toddler bed. She settled down on the floor, crossing her legs as she leaned over to add another creature to the row of toys along the edge of the tiny teal comforter.

“There you go, Ruthie.” She patted the stuffed kangaroo with satisfaction. She squeaked in giddy amusement as she then stuffed Nathan into the pouch.

At that moment, Dorie entered the room and observed Annie’s maneuvers. “Oooh…she will love to find him there.”

Annie laughed and turned toward her. “She will. I used to always put him in there when I was little. He belongs there.”

Dorie nodded with a smirk. She glanced around the room. “Why dear, you didn’t have to make her bed or clean up. She’s sleeping here tonight. We’re just going to mess it all up again.”

Annie shook her head, her eyes resolute. “Nope. That’s not how the ship at home runs. We have to clean up.”

Dorie watched as Annie continued to carefully arrange the stuffed animals on the bed. She said carefully, “But you’re the one doing it, dear. Sophie’s on her walk with Jeffrey and Hank. You’re not even teaching her to tidy up.”

Annie stilled and let out a nervous laugh. “Oh. Well, er, it’s important to clean up regardless. It’s just what I do.”

Dorie watched her with concern but held back a comment. Instead, she said, “That’s fine, dear. I think everything here looks very nice.”

Annie reached over and picked up Sophie’s baby doll. She straightened its jumper and tucked the doll diaper underneath. She turned to place it next to the guardrail.

She suddenly frowned as she eyed the bed. “Wait, where’s the crib?”

Dorie watched her in puzzlement. “I don’t follow, dear. You told me she’s in a bed, so I got her one. Actually, it was at Maybelle’s. Her grandchildren outgrew it.” She continued to watch Annie’s quietly frantic expression. “Don’t you like it?”

Annie turned to her with wide eyes. “Oh no, it’s perfect! Thank you for doing that. It’s really nice of you.”

“But then I don’t understand why you’re asking about the crib.”

Annie blurted, “What did you do with it?”

Dorie hesitated for a moment, still attempting to make sense of the situation. She said carefully, “I had my friend put it up in the attic. He took it apart first, of course, but there’s plenty of room for it up there.”

She watched as Annie appeared to relax her shoulders. And then she noticed the slight smile appear while Annie began to dust off Mister Tickles on the bed.

Dorie sighed and pulled up her sewing chair to sit down opposite her. She was quiet for a few moments as she thought how best to ask her question. She took a deep breath before she asked softly, her voice full of concern, “Will you need the crib soon?”

She watched Annie’s face flush as she turned to stare at her.

“Oh, um, no! I didn’t mean….no!” She swatted the air and then looked down, grabbing Sophie’s pillow and pulling it to her chest.

Dorie eyed her suspiciously. “About when do you think you _might_ need it?”

Annie looked up with bulging eyes, her face reddening. “Dorie!”

Unflinching, Dorie said, “You started it. Of course, I can get rid of it if you want. I am sure a neighbor could use it if I ask around.”

Annie, for one of the first times, had an appreciation for why Jeff often seemed so flustered around his mother. The woman had persistence. And she was shrewd.

She gulped before she responded, “Well, maybe if it isn’t too much trouble, you could keep it? Is that okay?”

Dorie groaned and leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. She clasped her hands together and said, “You know I said there’s plenty of room in the attic. It’s not a bother.”

Annie squeaked out, “Oh, great. Thank you.”

Dorie narrowed her eyes and let out a long sigh. “I know it’s none of my business, but I suggest you finish school first. I always regretted not getting my degree.”

Annie began fluffing Sophie’s pillow. She looked down at it and then resumed eye contact with Dorie. “I feel weird talking to you about this. Jeff would kill me.”

Dorie leaned forward an inch more and studied Annie’s face. “Have you two talked about it? He hasn’t mentioned anything to me about it, not that he would. He’s so sneaky.” She squinted at her.

Annie let out a quick breath and clutched the pillow on her lap. “Kind of. We agreed to table the discussion until after graduation.”

“Very sensible.”

Annie nodded slowly. “But I’ve been giving it a lot of thought recently. I don’t want there to be a huge age difference. I like to be prepared about things. My brother is five years younger than me, and I think that was the most I’d want. I want them to be good friends.”

Dorie watched as Annie’s tears appeared.

She nodded with sudden understanding. “You miss your brother.”

Annie’s voice caught as she said, “I miss him a lot. I hope he’s okay.”

Dorie’s face softened as she reached to pat Annie’s hand. “Well maybe you should call him.”

Annie shook her head almost violently. “I can’t. My mom.”

Dorie pursed her lips. “She can suck it up. You have every right to have a relationship with your brother. I’m sure he’d like to hear from you.”

“But she doesn’t know about Sophie. And I wouldn’t want to keep Sophie a secret from Anthony.” Annie’s voice trailed off to almost a whisper as she again looked away.

“Well then consider telling her.”

Annie’s eyes went wide and she gasped.

Dorie continued calmly, “If you need help, I’ll be there. She and I can have a chat.”

Annie shook her head again. “That’s sweet, but I can’t have you do that.”

Dorie looked at her intently. “Nonsense. Of course it’s up to you, but I’m freely offering to run interference.”

They were silent for some moments before Annie said softly, “I’ll think about it.”

“You do that.”

Annie added in an almost whisper, “It’s not just about Anthony. I don’t want Sophie to be alone. Jeff says he’s fine either way, that she’ll have friends and her cousins.”

Dorie nodded.

Annie continued, “But don’t you think he’d want a biological child?”

She waited for Dorie’s response, looking at her with an almost pleading expression.

Dorie took a moment to ponder the situation, and then asked, “What do you think, dear?”

Annie bit her lip as she smoothed the pillowcase with her palm. “I think he does. But sometimes I think he’s also terrified. He still thinks he’s a monster. But he’s a really good father, and I think if we had another baby, he’d be wonderful with both of them.”

Dorie smiled softly. “I think so too. But that plan of you both graduating before you go ahead with anything like that makes the most sense.”

“She’ll be almost four when I graduate. And I might change my major, which means I’m not sure if I’m going to graduate on time.”

“My advice is you not get too hung up on a number.”

Annie looked at her skeptically.

Dorie continued, “I think Sophie would make an excellent big sister and maybe her being even a little older would ensure she’d be a good helper. And then you wouldn’t have two little children to chase after. It might be a really nice way to do it.”

“You think so?”

“It’s your and Jeffrey’s decision. But you’re young. You have plenty of time. And I am confident Sophie will be just fine. She has a lot of love, and she will never be alone. She’ll always have her family.”

Annie nodded and placed the pillow in its place. She used the back of her hand to push away her tears.

“You’re right, she will.” 

****************************

Jeff pushed open the backdoor. He rolled in the stroller and then bent down to unclip Hank’s leash. He turned to unbuckle a tutu clad Sophie and assisted her in exiting the vehicle. He looked at her with mock sternness, as they exchanged smirks. He patted her firmly on the shoulders.

_“Da-dee thilly.”_

He squinted at her and then unzipped her jacket before tossing it in the stroller. He stood and shooed Sophie and Hank from the back entryway into the kitchen.

“Furbeast, Hobblerina, get thee inside.”

Sophie giggled and absent-mindedly flung her sippy cup on the floor. It rolled off toward the side of the room.

_“Doggie thilly.”_

Jeff removed his sweater and placed it on a kitchen chair. He turned and shuddered as he watched Hank lick Sophie’s cheek.

There were subsequent squeals of excitement.

He pursed his lips and crouched down, grabbing a wet wipe from the baby bag sitting on the kitchen table. He promptly cleaned off Sophie’s face. She squirmed and swatted at him.

_“No, da-dee!”_

He kept at it. “Just a sec, munchkin.” He stopped and scanned her face for signs of residual slobber. Satisfied, he said, “Okay. There, all done.”

She smiled at him and reached her arms out for a hug. He felt himself begin to melt as he pulled her closer.

“I love you, munchkin.”

He felt her squeeze him with her hands on the sides of his torso. She then squirmed a little, and he released his grasp. She giggled loudly before turning to run in the direction of the living room after the dog.

Jeff sighed and stood, dropping the wet wipe into the garbage bin. He then reached over and picked up the sippy cup, in the process noticing something artificially furry was half-hidden under the kitchen table. He frowned and got on his hands and knees, adeptly reaching for the stuffed bear and then placing it on the table.

He decided to make himself some much-deserved hot coffee.

A few minutes later, Annie shuffled in from the living room, a sly smile on her face.

His face lit up as he saw her approach. She stepped over and placed her arms around his shoulders.

He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss, pulling back with smirk. “Hey.” He may have eyed her cleavage.

She ignored his gaze and said with a slight chuckle, “She has your phone.”

He stiffened and raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Annie grinned. “She pulled out your phone from her tutu with a big ‘Ta-da!’ It was so cute.”

His eyes widened and he smiled incredulously. He looked past her toward the living room.

Annie swatted his chest. “Your mom took it from her. She was really smooth about it. It’s safe.”

He visibly relaxed as he exclaimed wryly, “Why that semi-sociopathic cherub of delight.”

“I know. Maybe she’ll get arrested.”

He looked down at her with a squint. “Cute. So are you feeling better about that whole thing today?”

She smiled softly. “I am. Thank you again for being so understanding.”

He nodded and began to caress her back. He pulled her in closer and kissed the top of her head.

He said in a low voice, “You know, I’ve been thinking. Would you consider us getting the hobster a dog? She’s crazy about Hank for some reason.”

Annie leaned back and looked at his face. He was wearing a blank expression, which she guessed was his usual attempt at guardedness when he was feeling vulnerable. She decided to tread sensitively.

“You want a dog?” She arched a brow.

He shrugged. “All kids should have a dog.”

“I wasn’t allowed to have pets.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

She tilted her head and regarded him thoughtfully. She decided to make an observation she had been wondering about for some time.

“In general you don’t strike me as a dog person, Jeff. You’re more a cat person.”

“Huh?” He furrowed his brow.

She smiled coyly. “You have the personality of a cat. You pretend to be aloof and then you slink away. And then sometimes you come in for a cuddle.”

He smirked and rubbed her back some more. “You know I’ve been way more overtly cuddly these days. I’ve been affectionate.”

“Cats are affectionate.”

He looked suspiciously over at Hansel, who was making his way toward the cat water dish in the corner.

While continuing to observe the feline creature, he asked, “So you want a cat?”

She grinned and caught his eye. She began to fiddle with the collar of his shirt. “I don’t know.   Maybe. I think a cat would be easier for us with the whole juggling school, work, and kid thing. We wouldn’t have to worry about getting home at certain times to walk it.”

He shook his head. “Kids should have a dog.”

Her face suddenly softened. “Is this about Charlie?”

He pulled her in closer and gave her another kiss on her head. “That golden retriever was my best friend.”

She sighed into his chest. “Okay, but I think we should revisit when things calm down after the holidays.”

“Mmm hmmm.”

She leaned her head back and asked, “Resolved?”

“Resolved.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * If anyone wants to know what the Dean has been up to, there is a one-shot entitled “Deangerous Liaisons” I posted for community rare pairs week.


	19. Adventures in Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trobed babysit the Pink Avenger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special edition. Please note there was another chapter posted two days ago, so make sure to read that one first. ;)

Thump, thump, thump. Fee runs through the tunnel.

It’s a Bluegun! Agh! They got Fee!

Fee sees the floor. Fee falls. Fee is scared.

Fee is grabbed by the silly guy. He has the same name as that thing Fee hates. Fee wants to sleep with Mama and Daddy.

But mostly Mama.

Fee is saved.

_“Yay!”_

“I’ve got her, the Pink Avenger is captured. I repeat, the Pink Avenger is captured.”

The silly guy looks like he’s going to eat his arm. He’s so silly. You can’t eat your arm. Fee already tried that.

Fee laughs. Why is he so silly?

Ooooohhh…Toy is here! Yay! He has the same name as the things Fee loves. And he smiles really good. He’s almost as silly as Bed.

“Hand her over. I’ll put her in protective custody.”

Toy holds Fee the best. Almost as good as Daddy 

But not as good as Mama.

“Shall I remove her hoodie?”

“Negative. It would be unwise for us to remove her pink hoodie at this time. It is way too soon for the reveal. The audience will lose interest.”

“Dude, I’m pretty sure we both know who this is.”

“Shhh….Constable Reggie, we need to keep the mystery. You never know who is listening.”

“Um, you mean the walls having ears? I thought Jeff and Annie’s apartment was safe. Now I’m scared.”

“Never fear, my dear Constable. Your Inspector will lead out us out from this Blorgon world and into the safe place of Edison-Winger land.”

“Is it nice there?”

“It’s a place of the utmost tranquility.”

“Cool.”

“And sometimes romance.”

Silly Bed makes silly faces with his eye hair.

“Dude! I do NOT want to go there! I want to hide from the Blorgons. And I still don’t know what to do with the Pink Avenger. We don’t have proof she was colluding with them.”

“Oh right. We should put her on the couch.” 

***************************

Annie and Jeff entered the apartment, kicking off their shoes while playfully tapping their hands together.

Jeff grinned and grabbed Annie’s hand fully, interlacing his fingers with hers. He pulled her to him and began a slow kiss.

She eventually placed her hand on his shoulder and gave it a pat while moving away slightly. She lowered her voice to an almost whisper, “Later. We need to relieve Troy and Abed.”

He shrugged and let go of her hand.

As they stood regarding one another, they became conscious of the squealing.

Followed by some utterances from Sophie.

_“No! Doy! Bed! YOU NOT do dat! Fee dake id back! Mine!”_

“Oh no, the Pink Avenger got me! I’m dead!”

“Oh god, please no, Ab-Inspector! Don’t leave me!”

“I’m sorry, Reggie. I’m….” gasp…. “a goner.”

_“A-gain!”_

Jeff squinted as he rounded the corner, not at all surprised by the sight of Sophie sitting on the couch with a pink hoodie over her head and clutching Hillary Rodham Kitten. She had a giant grin on her face.

A white-robe clad Abed lay on the floor motionless, a distraught Troy kneeling by his side.

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Kids!”

_“Da-dee! You back!”_

“Yes, pink avenging munchkin. I am back. What are you guys doing?”

Annie scuttled into the room and sat down on the couch, picking up a delighted Sophie in her arms.

_“Mama back!”_

Annie leaned over her and let her hair fall onto Sophie’s face. She swished it back and forth to Sophie’s giggles.

Troy looked at Jeff solemnly from his spot on the floor. “He’s…” He gulped down a sob before he continued, “gone, man. She did it.” He glowered in Sophie’s direction.

Jeff let out a long sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. He walked over and plopped down on the other side of Sophie on the couch. He reached over and began tickling her feet as he kept his eyes on Troy.

“Okay, so he’s dead. Great. Maybe you could bury him or something?”

“Jeff.”

Annie tilted her head in Troy’s direction and scrunched up her mouth, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on Jeff.

He sighed again. “Troy, he’s probably just resting.”

“I don’t think so, man. I’ve never seen him like this.” Troy nudged Abed’s shoulder. There was no response.

Jeff smirked and reached over to pull Sophie on his lap. “Hey, munchkin, can you go check to see if Uncle Abed’s okay? Go wake him up.” He promptly placed her on the ground.

Troy’s eyes widened. “But she did it, Jeff!”

“She’s off duty. She’s no longer the pink avenging munchkin. She’s just the regular munchkin.”

“Oh, then, um, okay.”

Annie shook her head and then leaned back on the couch. Jeff wiggled his eyebrows in her direction.

They watched as Sophie proceeded to touch a spitty hand to Abed’s face. The motion caused the black hat to roll off his head.

_“Bed! Wake up! Id wake up dime!”_

No response.

Jeff rolled his eyes and motioned for Troy to sit on the chair. Troy looked over forelongingly at Abed’s body but nodded and rose to sit back down on the furniture. He patted his badge, tears welling in his eyes.

Jeff grabbed the stuffed cat in pearls and studied it with a frown. “How did everything go?”

“She killed the Inspector. It was pretty gruesome.”

Jeff closed his eyes.

Annie smiled and addressed Troy while patting Jeff’s thigh. “We’re very sorry to hear that, but how was everything else? She looks like she had a good time.”

The spitty touching had progressed into light smacking.

Followed by giggles.

No response.

Troy let his attention move to Annie as he nodded. “Yeah, we had a lot of fun. And we gave her a snack like we talked about. We did something else but I can’t quite remember now since she killed the Inspector.”

Annie nodded back while doing her best to remain cheerful. “Yes, but I’m sure that’s just temporary. He’s fine.”

“Maybe.”

“But you all had fun? That’s sweet. Jeff, isn’t that sweet?”

“Sure. Like molasses.”

She more firmly patted his thigh.

Jeff opened his eyes and smirked. “So, I take it you don’t want to babysit again? It sounds like it was kind of traumatic. But thanks for giving it a try.”

Troy’s eyes widened as he shot a frantic look over at the Inspector’s corpse.

Sophie was now on top of Abed’s torso and sticking her nose against his. Her right hand continued to smack his shoulder.

Troy yelped, “Hey, let’s not be hasty! She was only defending Hillary Kitten. We did fine. I promised you we could take care of her. And we did. Please, please, let us babysit again.”

Jeff shook his head. “But the Inspector. He’s dead. That’s not good.”

Troy continued to stare at him with a panicked expression.

Annie narrowed her eyes at Jeff. He refused to look in her direction.

Suddenly, Abed sat up and scooped Sophie into his arms. “I’ve regenerated!”

“Dude, you are awesome!”

  

***************************

“So, that was thrilling.” Jeff rejoined Annie on the couch after escorting Troy and Abed out of the apartment.

Annie watched with amusement as Sophie lined up her baby doll, Count Frogula, Mister Tickles, Hillary Rodham Kitten, her bear, and Ruthie on the floor. She said, “She had so much fun with them. I’m glad.”

Jeff laid down on the couch and propped his feet on her lap.

She looked over at him with mock annoyance.

He grinned at her but then shifted to a more serious expression as he said, “It was only an hour. I don’t know if I trust them with her for longer than that.”

Annie nodded thoughtfully. “I think they’ll be fine. Britta said they were pretty responsible last time. And they followed my instructions and took the child CPR class through Greendale.”

Jeff arched a brow. “Diapers?”

“Troy says he can do that.”

“Sure. I’ll believe that when I don’t see Abed using Greendale cafeteria garbage to build up his Blorgon Space Station in the middle of the quad.”

Annie cringed. “Okay, you might have a point. But maybe if we gave them specific instructions that it’s hazardous waste? Radioactive or something?”

Jeff shrugged.

Annie glanced back over at Sophie. “She’s tidying up. Isn’t that the cutest?”

Jeff frowned as he watched Sophie’s behavior. “I don’t really think that’s what she’s doing. She’s probably lining them up for a firing squad.”

“Jeff.”

He nudged his foot against her thigh so that she would start rubbing it. He cleared his throat. “Anyway, let’s talk end of the semester, which need I remind you, is vastly approaching. And there’s a certain someone who will be turning a very special birthday. So, yeah, we should do something. You know, if you want.”

Annie pressed her hand against the arch of his foot and turned to him. “I’ll talk about my birthday if you’ll stop evading my questions about Shirley.”

He quickly recovered from an almost alarmed expression and shifted his body. “I told you, there’s nothing with Shirley.”

She stilled her hand and narrowed her eyes at him. “You know what I think? I think the two of you had a fight after you played that early morning game of Foosball and then you made up.”

He shrugged again, grabbing the teal pillow and examining it for frayed edges. “Yeah, okay. But everything’s cool now, so there’s no need to get into it.”

She studied his face as she absentmindedly took Count Frogula from Sophie, who had toddled over and offered it to her.

“What was the fight about?”

“I told you, it was nothing.”

“Um hm.”

Jeff avoided her eyes and rose from the couch. He walked over to the pile of mail on the table and began to sort through it.

Annie watched him curiously. “You can talk to me. Whatever it is. You know I’ll find out sooner or later. Shirley has a big mouth.”

He continued to flip through the envelopes and murmured, “It wasn’t a big deal. We just realized we maybe knew each other as kids.”

Annie’s mouth fell open. “Are you serious? That’s crazy.”

“Yeah, well. Small world.”

She clasped her hands together and did a little bounce on the couch. “Did you guys play together? Awww!!”

Jeff tensed. “We weren’t friends.”

She looked at him curiously. When he didn’t elaborate, she said softly, “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. Is it okay?”

He replied tersely, “Yes, I told you it’s all fine. We decided to let bygones be bygones.”

“I see.”

He suddenly turned and spied Sophie shoving her bear onto Annie’s lap. He called out, “Hey, munchkin! You have mail.”

Sophie turned and smiled. _“Yay!”_

“I need your signature. It’s very important.”

Annie watched in amusement as Sophie eagerly toddled over to Jeff and he crouched down to hand her an envelope and a purple crayon.

“Sign here.”

Sophie nodded and proceeded to scrawl a shaky ‘S’ onto the envelope.

_“Der Da-dee. Fee do id.”_

“Thanks so much, here you go. It’s a letter from Grandma. I think she sent you a picture of your fur friends.”

He carefully opened the envelope and handed her a rare photo of Hank, Houston, and Hansel all together, Horace and Huntley in their cages in the background.

Sophie squealed and ran with it over to her play bin.

Jeff jumped back up and grabbed part of the mail pile. He made his way to the sink and opened up the lower door to reveal the recycling bin.

“Half this stuff is crap.” He tossed the papers into the bin.

“Since when does she sign things?”

With his back turned to her, he mumbled, “I thought it would be good to teach her how to make her mark.”

Annie’s laughter was interrupted by the buzzing of her phone on the coffee table. She picked it up and looked at the incoming text.

[Adam]: Sorry I’ve been out of touch. Life got CRAZY. Can I come by sometime soon? It’s almost Hanukkah. I should probably? Right?

She frowned and placed the phone carefully back on the table. She smiled tenderly over at Jeff who scowled as he shoved the recycling bin back under the kitchen sink.

“You’re a good daddy.”

“Yeah, well.” 

*****************************

It’s dark.

And Mama is not here.

Bear is scared. Bear misses Mama.

_“Id okay, bah. Mama seeping.”_

Maybe Daddy work?

Fee and Bear go find Daddy. Daddy will help. Daddy always helps.

Fee misses Daddy too.

Pink Gerr can help too. Toy and Bed like Pink Gerr. Pink Gerr isn’t scared.

_“Da-dee! Hep! Hep! Da-dee!”_

Fee cries. Fee cries some more.

Here comes Daddy. Daddy opens door.

“Whoa, there, munchkin!”

Daddy comes down to Fee.

“What are you doing? Were you pounding on the door and planning your escape from prison?”

_“Da-dee.”_ Fee cries some more.

“Shhhh…You’re okay. Come here. Hey, why do you have this pink blanket over your head? Let’s just take this off. There we go.”

Daddy gives good hugs.

“Come on, you’re okay. Let’s just put you back in bed.”

_“No! Fee NOT go back un bed! No Da-dee! No!”_

“Come on, everything’s okay. I’ll stay with you a little while, alright?”

_“No, id dak Da-dee. Fee NOT like dak. Fee wid Da-dee und Mama.”_

“Christ. Stop looking at me like that.”

Fee sad. Fee hopes Daddy knows. Daddy will make it all better.

“Oh, hell. Fine. But this is the last time. And let the record show I am only doing this because you’re still getting over your cold. You probably shouldn’t be all by yourself when you’re sniffly, right? Yeah.”

_“Fee wan mama.”_

“I know.”

_“Da-dee ged mama?”_

“No, cause Mama’s sleeping. I’ve got you.”

Whee. Daddy’s big.

“Okay, let’s go, hobsobber. You can sleep with us the rest of the night.”

Daddy is the best. Fee love Daddy.

Bear loves Daddy too.

 


	20. Annie’s Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abed approves of the group getting drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: alcohol use, mentions of drug use
> 
> An extra long chapter. Hope no one minds, but I couldn’t figure out a way to break this up.

Jeff had wanted to finish up the semester with as little fuss as possible and then concentrate on a winter break full of celebrating Annie’s 21st birthday, Christmas at his mom’s, and a hopefully financially fruitful run of consultation work at the firm. After all, the munchkin continued to eat a lot of cheese crackers.

And he also wanted to save up some money for the dog. He knew dogs tended to have unexpected expenses, plus the dog version of cheese crackers.

Alas he should have known better that there would be calmness at this time of year. He was still itching his hives after they had dealt with the first Adam visit following the sting operation. They didn’t address the drug issue on that visit, as everything had already been communicated through their attorneys. Annie maintained to Jeff there was nothing left to discuss, as it was now understood Adam wasn’t allowed to take her anywhere unsupervised. She convinced him that bringing up the whole incident again would only lead to raised voices and more frustrations.

He still wanted to punch the guy, but he held back and allowed the visit to proceed, this time not exactly leaving the room. He sat at the dining table and typed on his laptop, glancing over at Adam’s pathetic attempts to engage Sophie.

He paused with a frown. Maybe they weren’t exactly _pathetic_ , as Sophie did seem to be responsive. The poor kid liked people and was happy to show her sperm donor her various stuffed creatures while chattering on.  He caught Annie’s eye from across the room. She smiled wearily at him from her spot on the couch and then turned back to watch Sophie and Adam play on the floor.

He pushed down the knot in his stomach and went back to his online class discussion board. His thoughts started to spin out in all sorts of scenarios. 

*****************************

In the middle of prepping for their finals, Annie surprisingly and shamelessly attempted to recruit him for the Glee club holiday performance ensemble. It was down right embarrassing, watching her prance around in that little Santa outfit. He told her stop. It weirded him out.

Then he joined the Glee club.

The rest of the Greendale Seven followed and they proceeded to astound the Dean and the rest of the audience with their talents. Or at least they attempted to do so before other revelations.

After the performance, the group got to work on actually taking their finals. Annie rapidly resumed Annie-study-mode (ASM, per Abed) and after taking care of Sophie and work, channeled all her remaining energy into reviewing, highlighting, and verbal rehearsal.  

Between the two of them with their exams and stress, they struggled to get everything done with grace. They may have snapped at each other once or twice, but after their last exam, Annie had melted into his arms and mumbled her apologies. She had then gone to take a nap.

He watched her go with a long sigh. He missed _naptime_. It had been a little while. He figured they both needed a release, so he pulled out his phone and began texting the study group to coordinate plans for her birthday.

He joined her a little bit later after putting the cheesemonster to bed. While they didn’t have _naptime_ per se, it was still nice. 

******************************

Annie did a bounce as she looked around the table at the bar. Through her wide grin, she squeaked, “I’m so excited!”

She looked around at everyone’s smiling faces before turning her attention to Jeff on her right. She batted her lashes. “Thank you for arranging everything. You’re sweet.”

He smirked and rubbed her hand underneath the table. “It was no biggie. Everyone was game, weren’t you guys?”

Abed, Troy, Shirley, Andre, Pierce, Britta, Nancy, Ryan, and Ian hummed their agreement.

The Dean leaned over from Jeff’s other side and lightly touched his shoulder. “This was very _sweet_ of you.”

Annie arched a brow and stared at him. He promptly dropped his hand and muttered something underneath his breath. Annie puffed out her chest in triumph and squeezed Jeff’s hand under the table.

Jeff scooted his chair closer to hers and leaned in to whisper, “Hey, why did you insist I invite him?”

She whispered back, “Because he was lonely. And he heard we were celebrating. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“He’s our _dean_. It’s kind of weird.”

“Shhh. He’s sweet.”

Jeff rolled his eyes and turned his attentions back to the group. He pointed all around the table as he said, “First round’s on me. Beer, beer, beer…”

Britta groaned, “Vodka!”

Ian giggled and slapped his palm down on the table. “Cranberry vodka shots, Winger!”

Britta punched Ian in the arm with a sly grin.

Jeff squinted at both of them. He turned to Annie with a questioning look. Her eyes widened and she smiled slightly with a shrug.

Jeff rolled his eyes, “Fine. I’ll vodka the two of you up. Other requests? Beer, beer, beer…”

Troy and Abed nodded enthusiastically.

“Maybe a 7 and 7?”

“I’m all in for drunken group high-jinks. Often these types of episodes lead to further revelations and tend to move a plot along. And also, a beer is fine.”

Jeff nodded politely with a tight smile as Annie again gave his hand a squeeze.

Shirley shook her head and held up one hand. “None for me, thank you. I’m still breast feeding.”

A slightly blurry-eyed Britta leaned her head on Shirley’s shoulder and mumbled, “You don’t even drink anymore anyway.”

Shirley preened, her voice lilting as she retorted, “I could. It’s not like I have a _problem_.”

Britta and Annie exchanged looks.

Andre wrapped his arm protectively around Shirley’s shoulders as he addressed Jeff. “I’ll have a beer, man. Thanks.”

Ryan chimed in, “Me too.”

Jeff looked at Nancy, who shook her head and motioned to her club soda. “I have to work in the morning. “

Annie gave her a curious look and then smiled.

Jeff let out a long sigh. “Looks like I’m getting a pitcher.”

“Ahem.”

He turned to the Dean. “Dean?”

“I wouldn’t mind a vodka and cranberry.”

Jeff nodded and then swiveled his head around. He raised his brows up and down a few times as he asked, “And the birthday Lady? What is your pleasure?”

Annie grinned and clapped her hands together. “I’ll do one of _everything!_ ”

“Annie.”

Pierce glared at Jeff from his spot directly opposite. 

***************************

After the initial couple rounds, everyone loosened up. Well, Jeff loosened up. Everyone else had been pretty relaxed to begin with.

Especially Britta and Ian, who Jeff was beginning to strongly suspect had sampled another substance before they joined the festivities. He continued to squint at them, noticing their slightly pink eyes and continued giggles. He decided to ignore it for now, deciding he’d much rather pay attention to his Lady.

He noticed Annie was definitely loosey-goosey. He shot her a grin as he watched her regard Nancy and Shirley’s bonding over photos of Shirley’s kids.

Nancy cooed over the latest image. “Oh, they are beautiful! You should be so proud.”

“I am. They are my precious angels.”

Jeff muttered to Annie, “Looks like the two sober people are making friends. Thank god. That could have been awkward.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “Jeff, just because some people aren’t drinking doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy themselves. I’m really glad everyone could make it.”

He noticed she wobbled a little as she reached for her buzzing phone. She pulled it over, her eyes widening as she exclaimed, “Oh my god.” She then tilted her head and wiped a tear forming at the corner of her eye. “Awwww…”

He frowned and leaned over to see the whole text window and exchange:

5:25pm [Annie]: Hi Anthony. It’s Annie. I have a new phone #. I know it’s been a long time but wanted to let you know that I love you and I hope you are okay. It’s my 21st birthday and I’m spending it with good friends. I hope you had a nice 16th birthday and wish I could have been there. [Emojji heart]

9:30pm [Anthony]: Hi Annie. Im glad u texted me. Thanks for your #. I miss u. Where ru? Happy Birthday!! [Emojii balloon]

Jeff raised his eyebrows and turned to see more tears falling down her face.

She gulped as she said softly, “He texted back.”

Jeff nodded, finally comprehending the anticipation she must have been feeling over the past few hours. Although he was slightly miffed that she hadn’t told him about the text, he chose to let it go as he watched a mixture of relief, sadness, and hope wash over her. He cleared his throat and managed to say, “Yeah, um, looks like he did.” Then the alcohol caught up with him and he couldn’t help but add, “I didn’t know you were trying to reach him.”

She let out a low nervous laugh as she continued to stare at her phone. She tapped her thumbnail on the display. “I wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk to me. Last time we talked he called me a _slut_.”

Jeff scanned the table and noticed everyone was in the midst of lively conversation. Andre, a look of skepticism on his face, was talking to Abed and Troy, Nancy and Shirley were still engrossed in photos, and Britta and Ian were again giggling over their drinks. Britta leaned over and pushed Ian’s glasses up further on his face. He pulled them down again. She reached again. Then giggles. Then repeat. Pierce was being Pierce and attempting to get Troy’s attention. The Dean was making googly eyes at a stunned Ryan from across the table while slowly sipping on his straw. Ryan gave the Dean a slight awkward wave.

Jeff moved his attention back to Annie, put his arm around her, and pulled in her close. “That’s great he responded.”

She sniffed. “I want to see him.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

He watched as she typed out a response:

[Annie]: Thanks! I’m not too far away – Greendale. I’m going to college. Maybe you could visit sometime?

They both waited for a surprisingly quick reply.

[Anthony]: As long as ur COOL? And I can’t tell mom.

Jeff watched as Annie’s posture stiffened and she affected a tight smile. She took a deep breath and then texted back:

[Annie]: Yes cool cool cool even.   Let’s talk soon and figure out plans. Love you. Happy Hanukkah.

She placed her phone back in her purse and zipped it closed.

“You okay?”

She nodded and then reached up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Yes.” She settled back down and added, “Can I have another drink? Or maybe we could all do a shot?” 

*************************

The festivities wore on. Jeff lost track of how many he had, but he knew he was in much better shape than Annie. Unsurprisingly given her size, she didn’t seem to have a high tolerance for alcohol.

“I loooove alcohol, Jeeeeff. It’s gooood.”

He chuckled and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

Troy nodded to her as they clinked their glasses together. “To Annie!”

“To Annie!”

After noticing the pitcher was empty, Jeff rose and made his way to the bar. Ryan joined him and leaned against the counter while they waited for a refill.

Ryan burped and placed his hand to his mouth with a sheepish smile. “Your friends are great.”

Jeff smirked. “Sorry about the Dean. Annie had a word with him and explained you were _taken_.”

Ryan shrugged. “Hey, I guess I’m flattered? I felt a little bad letting him down like that.” He glanced over in the Dean’s direction with a frown.

“Welcome to the club.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow.

Jeff pushed the empty pitcher over to the bartender and explained, “It used to happen more often until Annie started working for him. He’s backed off a lot. I strongly suspect she threatened him.”

Ryan chortled and shook his head. “She totally _did_! She’s scary when she’s intense! Don’t mess with Annie Edison.”

Jeff gave a slight nod in agreement while suppressing a laugh. “I’m glad you and Nancy could make it. Sorry she has to work tomorrow. That sucks.”

Ryan moved a step closer and lowered his voice, “Yeah, well, no worries. We’re staying out with you guys until whenever.”

“But _work_?”

Ryan shook his head, stumbling for a moment before he rambled on, “She just said that. We didn’t want to announce it yet. I mean, we were totally going to tell you and Annie tonight, but we didn’t want to get into it in front of strangers. It’s early you know.”

Jeff turned to him with a squint. “Huh?”

Ryan’s eyes widened. “Oh, whoops, I forgot to tell you. We’re having a baby.” He then placed his hand over his mouth before quickly removing it to add, “Oh, whoops. I was supposed to tell you guys with her later. Whoops.”

Jeff let out a quick laugh and slapped him on the back. “Really? Congrats.”

Ryan relaxed his shoulders. “Thanks.”

Jeff leaned his elbows against the bar and watched as the bartender refilled the pitcher. He chuckled. “Annie will be super excited. She told me you guys were trying.”

Ryan rolled his eyes and plopped down on a bar stool. He almost-slurred, “See? This. This is why. Nothing is personal anymore. Nancy tells Annie everything.”

Jeff continued to chuckle. “But it’s good news, right? I’m happy for you guys.”

Ryan hunched over. “No, it’s just what if I couldn’t knock her up? God, you have no idea what I’ve been going through. We tried for like eight months, since before the wedding. I know that’s not really that long, but man, I was worried.”

Jeff accepted the pitcher from the bartender but then held up two fingers and mouthed an order for a shot. He slid onto another stool and turned to Ryan. Although he was a bit confused as to why Ryan seemed determined to wallow in anxiety at a supposedly happy moment, he mustered his best even and reassuring voice.

“Hey, like you said, that’s not that long. And look, no reason to be embarrassed in any case. Plenty of couples have problems. And from what I understand, it takes two. You have, um, _you_. You have er, _her_. And the hey hey and whatnot.”

He admitted to himself something ran away from him there. But he was suspecting he was a little too drunk to care.Ryan groaned, “But it’d be _me_. I know I shouldn’t care about that, but it’s like a manly thing, right? I know it shouldn’t be.   Jesus.” He hunched forward even further and hung his head.

Jeff studied him and paused before he eloquently asked, “Wait…huh…what?”

Ryan rambled on, “Since she already had a kid, we _know_ she can do it. But me, see…” He flayed his arms around as if in explanation before flopping his elbows back on the bar and cradling his forehead.

Jeff let a moment for the revelation to sink in. He then asked carefully, watching for Ryan’s reaction, “She had a kid?”

Ryan nodded solemnly and ran a finger over the bottom half of the pitcher. As he eyed it, he said softly, “I’m surprised Annie didn’t tell you.”

“Nope.” Jeff gulped and steadied himself on the stool as he waited to see if Ryan would elaborate.

Ryan looked at him sadly. “She gave him up. She had nowhere to go with all her problems at the time, so she couldn’t keep him. He’s ten now.” 

Jeff closed his eyes. “Christ.”

Ryan tapped his fist on the bar. “He lives with a nice family through that Jewish adoption center she sent Annie to. She gets pictures.” He added in a softer and almost wistful tone, “He’s cute.”

Jeff felt something begin to burn behind his eyelids. He squished them closed even tighter as he managed to say, “So that’s why she’s helped Annie so much.”

Ryan lowered his voice further. “I think she’d do it regardless but yeah, she understands. It almost broke her to give him away. That’s why I’d be crushed if I couldn’t give her a baby.”

Jeff opened his eyes with a slight sniff and placed a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring pat. He then reached for the shots which had appeared in front of them. He cast a look over toward Nancy, who was still engrossed in conversation with Shirley. He felt his heart wrench as he realized perhaps for the first time what could have easily happened to Annie and Sophie.

Little hob-sized Sophie, who was at this moment likely sleeping peacefully at his mother’s house, Hank resting his slobbering head on her tiny feet.

Thanks to Nancy, she hadn’t needed to give her away. She was spared that heartbreak. It was something he could barely fully comprehend.

He gulped down something coming up this throat and raised his glass. He mustered the energy to say resolutely, “But everything’s okay. You guys did it. Really, congratulations.”

Ryan lifted his glass and they downed their shots.

He thought they should really get them a nice baby present.

 

******************************

“We Did It.”

Annie’s eyes widened at Britta’s words. She firmly pushed a giggling Britta away from her shoulder and said, “Whaaat?!?”

Britta snorted and ducked her head. “Yeah. It was kinda spontaneous.”

Annie stared at her and then let a grin come over her face. “So what does this mean? Ooooh…are you two dating? That’s a-ma-zing!” She did a little bounce in her chair.

Britta waived a hand and glanced over at Ian, who was jabbing his index finger in the air as he exchanged heated words with Pierce near the bar.

She turned back to Annie and made a loud “Shhhhhh” sound. She added for emphasis, “Noooo! I mean, I don’t know.” She began to laugh again and shook her head.

Annie felt herself tilt more to the left. She made a great effort to hold herself upright, even though they were both seated. She said in what she hoped was a soft voice, “Oh come on Britta. What do you mean you don’t know? You guys just had sex and then didn’t talk about what it meant?”

Britta snorted again before smiling indulgently at Annie. She reached over and patted Annie’s arm. “Please. Look who’s talking! You and Mr. Smartass were hooking up while supposedly being only _friends_ for ages. You guys didn’t talk about it until Sophie literally called you out on it.”

Annie began to chuckle as she sipped her green beverage. “Maybe.”

Britta placed her arm around Annie’s shoulders and cocked her head inward. “Annie, Annie, Annie. Sophie knew Jeff was her daddy before you did.”

Annie leaned her head against Britta’s. She responded, drawing out her words more slowly, “You’re right. She did. So maybe you guys are together then.  Even if you didn’t talk about it?”

Britta rolled her eyes. “Hey, let’s not get _crazy_ now. I wasn’t saying our situations are the same. I’m just making the point that you can’t get mad at me for not talking about things with him. You’re engaging in hippopotamus-criticism or something. And it’s not like I need a boyfriend.”

“Britta, I love you.”

“I love you too, Annie.” 

***************************

Jeff watched as Ryan walked off to rejoin some of the others at the table. Andre saw his approach, cast a bewildered look back at Abed and Troy, and then eagerly ventured toward him.

Jeff chuckled to himself. As he reached to grab the pitcher, Ian plopped down on a barstool.

“He’s bloody disgusting is what he is. The sheer vulgarity.” He grimaced at Pierce.

Pierce approached, opening his mouth is if about to say something before Jeff made the silent cutting gesture. Pierce guffawed and then with a shrug turned and made his way toward a wide-eyed Shirley who was suddenly by herself. Annie had swooped up Nancy and was engaged in some sort of animated discussion with her.

Troy and Abed immediately gravitated toward Britta.

He didn’t see the Dean.

He turned to Ian and with a wearied sigh sat down again. “I’m never going to get this beer to everyone, am I? Care to have one with me?”

“I’m stopping at two. Maybe three.”

“How many have you had?”

“Five.”

Jeff grimaced and poured a half glass of beer into a plastic cup and shoved it toward him. He then filled his up to the top.

Ian smiled at him, a hazy softness in his eyes. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Well sure. Annie wanted you here for some reason.”

“That was very decent of her. I like her, Winger.”

Jeff took a swig of his beer before he realized he wobbled just a little bit on the stool. It had been awhile since he had gotten completely wasted so he wasn’t sure how to gauge it these days. He was beginning to suspect he was further gone than he thought.

He smiled sappily at Ian and then held his cup aloft. Ian reciprocated and then took big gulps.

“To Annie.”

“To Annie.”

Jeff felt the beer slide down his throat and carefully placed his cup back on the bar. He muttered, “Are you and Britta high?”

Without hesitation, Ian replied, “Of course we are.”

Jeff let out a low laugh. “You know what, for all your flaws, you are refreshingly honest.”

“Says the serial liar. How do I know if I can believe you?”

“Because I’m turning over a new leaf?”

“Ah. Leaves. They are lovely.”

They refilled their cups and didn’t seem to notice as Abed came over, cast a glance between them, and then took the pitcher away.

Ian sipped his new beer and mused, “You really have a lovely girl there. You two seem happy.”

Jeff began to pick at the etchings in the bar, studying his work. “We are.”

“ _So?”_ Ian wiggled his eyebrows.

Jeff squinted at a splinter on the counter and carefully pulled it out. “What the hell are you getting at?”

“When are you going to give her the ring?”

Jeff’s eyes widened and he stilled his hand. He rambled, “Crap. I don’t know. I hid it pretty good. But I don’t think we’re ready. I’m not ready. Or yeah, maybe I am. I don’t know. I didn’t ever think I’d do something like that, but it might help with the munchkin situation? But I don’t know if Annie will go for that.”

Ian giggled and punched his fist in the air. “So you _do_ have a ring! Booyah!”

Jeff snapped his head up. “You’re an ass!” He looked around the room in alarm and realized no one was paying attention to what they were discussing.

Ian grinned. “Seriously? You have a ring?”

“Shhhhh….” He turned and took another scan of the room before he answered, “Yeah. I needed to get the money out of my bank account before Annie saw it go missing. So I just decided to get one. Then you know, whenever it seems like a good time, I’ve got it.”

“How did you pick it out? Did Shirley help you?”

“Shut up. And don’t you dare tell Shirley or anyone else. She’ll have us lined up in front of her minister before Annie can even answer.”

Ian nodded contemplatively. “So you just have a ring ready to go. That’s splendid.”

Jeff squinted at him.

Ian let out a low laugh and shook his head. “I was being sarcastic. You don’t listen to me, do you?”

“Of course I don’t.”

“I told you that you’re in danger of prematurely committing. And now that you have a ring that makes it even more likely you’ll do something asinine and propose to her if she in the least bit pulls away. I suggest you return it to your local jewelers.”

Jeff took a deep breath. “I’m not that stupid. I’ll only do it if it’s the right time.”

“That’s what I mean. You’re not a good judge of when a good time may be.”

“Oh, like you’re such a perfect person. When was the last time you got laid anyway?”

Ian stilled for a few moments before he gulped down more beer.

Jeff watched him. Even through the strange buzzing in his head he had the feeling he was missing something.

“Wait now… huh?”

They were interrupted as Annie traipsed up to the bar and wrapped her arms around him.

“My Jeeeffffy.”

“Come now, I’m not anyone’s _Jeffy_.”

“You’re my Jeffy. I looove you.”

“I love you, too. Can you ease up a little bit? You’re crushing my chest.” He found himself again smiling sappily.

Ian nodded and stood. “My work here is done. You’ll either listen to me or you won’t.”

“Come on, Ian.”

“Cheers, Annie. I like you two together. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

They watched him stumble off toward the Dean who was sitting alone at the table.

Annie sat down on Ian’s now empty stool and leaned her face toward him. She beamed.

He squinted at her. “What is it?”

“What stupid thing are you going to do?”

He rolled his eyes. “He’s just being dramatic. Hey, how’s your birthday going? Having a good time?”

She continued to smile and laced her fingers on top of the bar. She looked down for a moment and then back up at him. “I’m going to be an Aunt. Nancy’s pregnant!”

“Yeah, I know. Ryan spilled the beans. But er, you probably shouldn’t tell her he told me. I think he’s kinda drunk.”

Annie lightly swatted his arm. “You knew?!?”

“Hey, he just told me like twenty minutes ago.”

“Why aren’t you exited? This is the beeeest news ev-errrr! They deserrrrve this.” She looked at him with her Disney eyes.

He nodded. “Yes, Annie. I’m _excited_.”

She suddenly narrowed her gaze. “No, you’re noooot. You’re Winger-blasé.” She jabbed her index finger into his upper arm.

He held up his hands in a mock defensive gesture. “I am not. Seriously, I had a chat with him, and I know this is huge for them. And they’re nice people, so, you know…yeah, that’s really great.”

She studied his face through her unsteady eyes. “Ooookay. But I can never understand how you’re so wonderful with Sophie…” She trailed off for a moment before she continued, “and you don’t show any interest in anyone else’s kids.” She slapped her hand down on the bar.

He nodded. “That’s because they’re _other people’s_ kids.”

She turned her head and squinted. “But you liiiiked Sophie even before we were to-getherrr.”

“Because she was _your_ kid. And um, she’s pretty amazing. Again, probably because she’s your kid.”

“Cause you loooove me?”

He watched her emerald green skirt swoosh around as she spun on the stool.

She abruptly stopped in front of him to lean in for a kiss.

He reciprocated, tasting the hint of cranberry on her lips. He pulled back with a smirk. “Have you been doing shots with Britta?”

“Maybe one or two.” She hiccupped. “And she taught me how to play darts.” She hiccupped again.

“Annie. You’re kind of tiny. Watch it with the booze.”

“Jeeeffy, it’s my biiiiirthday.”

He smiled. “I think tomorrow’s going to be rough.” Although he wasn’t slurring his words, it was taking increasing effort not to do so.

She pouted and scooted closer. “I’m sooo glad you loooove Soo-phie.”

“Of course I do, Annie.”

“Since you doon’t liiike anyooone else’s kiiids.”

“I never said I didn’t like them. I just said I don’t really concern myself with them. There’s a difference.”

“But youuu are suuuuch a greeeat dad.”

“Yeah, anyway, why don’t we…”

She interjected, “Dooon’t dooo that. I told yourrrr mom you’re greeeeat. But she told me we shoooouldn’t make aaaaany babies.”

He startled in his haze. “The hell? Why were you discussing this with my mom?!? And what do you mean she said that?!?”

Annie shifted on her stool and patted his thigh. “She said not until laaaater. Aaafter schoool. After I become a worrrld faaamous poleeeece detective.”

He stared at her in confusion. “Well, um, that’s what we were talking about, right? Like if we even decided to do that? Christ, it wouldn’t be anytime soon.”

“I know, I knooooow. I was being stuuupid. I wasn’t even preeegnant. Nancy says I was being dramaaatic.”

He startled again as he rapidly began to comprehend what she was saying. “The what now, hey hey, what?”

Her eyes widened. “Shooot. I didn’t tell youuu. Cause I thought you’d freeeak out like you did on the phooone that time.”

He leaned toward her and said in a low voice, “When the hell was this? You can tell me stuff like that.”

She shook her head. “I’m soooorry. I didn’t want youu to propooose.”

He pushed back slightly and nodded with a grimace. He waited a few moments before he said, “Right. Look, of course I wouldn’t do that. I learned my lesson. I know you don’t want to marry me. That’s fine.”

He felt something constrict in his chest as he said the last few words.

Annie looked up at him with wide eyes. “Jeeeffy, youuu’d be the only person I wooould marry.”

He said tersely as he continued to straighten his posture, “Well, I would hope so.”

“Buut I dooon’t want you to want to marry me ooonly because of a baaa-bee.”

He pursed his lips and pounded a clenched fist on the bar. “Crap, Annie, look, I don’t even know what I think about marriage anymore, but if I _were_ to get married, it would only be to _you_. And I don’t think a baby would be a stupid reason. It would be a good reason. It wouldn’t make it any less true.”

She sniffed and looked down. “You need a reason?”

He winced and reached toward her hand on the bar. His heart pounded rapidly as he watched her pull her hand away.

He gulped, his eyes widening in alarm. He quickly said, “Okay, we’ve established there are no Edison-Winger babies sprouting or anything.” He attempted unsuccessfully to meet her gaze.

He hesitated a moment, a lump in his throat forming before he asked, “So you wanna get hitched? Cause we could.”

She closed her eyes. “That’s sooo romantic.”

He rambled on, “Whatever you want. I just want you to be happy. I could um, get you a ring or something. Big shiny diamond or um, a kinda not super big diamond? White gold? I don’t have a lot of funds…”

She threw her hands out in exasperation. “I doooon’t want _diamonds_. Britta’s made some good points about the mining conditions and,” she hiccupped, “wages.”

“Crap.”

“I’d prefer something simpler.”

“Crappity crap crap crap.”

“It’s ooookay, Jeeeffy. We don’t have to get marrieeed. But I need to know about the baaabeee thing. Would youuuu freeeak ouuuut?”

“God, no.”

She hunched forward with a pout. “So nooo baaabee?”

“No, I would not _freak out_. Again, whatever you want. One day when you’re a famous police detective. It might even be great. I don’t know. Hell, I’m just trying to keep the one we have alive.”

“You’re scarred.”

“Me? Scared? I want to make an entire football team of munchkins with you.”

“Don’t make fuuun of meee. Baaa-bies don’t plaay football.” She swatted him.

He moved into a swagger and placed his hand near hers on the bar. “Our babies would do whatever they wanted. They’d conquer the world. The munchkin’s already picking pockets. I’m so proud.”

She began to giggle, placing a hand over her mouth. “She’s sooo cuuute! You’re soo cuuute with her! And YOU are cuuuute!”

“I know.”

She slid her hand over to him and he took it.

He looked at her intently. “Are we okay?”

“Yeah.”

“So you’re sure no diamonds?”

“Jeeffy.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“I looooove youuu, idiot.”

He disentangled his hand from hers and reached over to grab a cocktail napkin from the stack on the bar. He began to fold it over in various ways, scrunching up his face in concentration.

She watched him and began to laugh. “Whaaat are you doooing?”

“I’m making you something. I can’t remember how to do this. Dammit. Origami was last year.”

“You didn’t take origami. I did.”

“But you showed me. I thought it was stupid, but look…here. Ta-da.” He slapped down a crumpled napkin in front of her.

“What is it?”

“It’s a goddamn flower.”

“Awwwww!” 

******************************

Abed sipped his beer and nodded in Jeff and Annie’s direction. He addressed Troy, Britta, Ian, and Shirley.

“I said drunken revelations would be had. Judging by their body language, I’m going to guess it’s going well.”

Shirley shook her head and grunted. “This is a public place.”  She tilted her head and squinted. “That is a lot of tongue.”

Britta smirked and nodded as she stared at the display. “I don’t think any of us has ever seen them full-on makeout before. It’s kinda weird.”

Shirley continued to study the two as they continued to go at it. “Hmmm…Jeffrey looks like he might be a good kisser.”

She looked over at Britta for confirmation.

Britta nodded and then shrugged.

Ian shot her a flustered look before clearing this throat and reaching over to refill his cup of beer.

Abed said, “Leonard saw them during the Tranny Dance. He told me all about it. But it’s much better for my film purposes to see it in person.” He began to walk off toward the bar.

Ian’s eyes went wide as he, Britta, and Shirley frantically reached to restrain him.

Troy shrugged as he continued to watch. “I’m pretty sure I interrupted them like two years ago on New Year’s. Jeff doesn’t normally wear strawberry lip gloss all over his face.”

Britta raised her eyebrows. Troy nodded eagerly in response.

Shirley stepped back and placed her hand on her chest. “Good Lord, how long has this been going on?!?” 

*****************************

Jeff smiled against Annie’s lips when they finally stopped kissing. He placed his forehead against hers and said in a low voice, “Just to be clear, that wasn’t a proposal. I just gave you a flower.”

She returned his smile. “I know. I think flowers are make out worthy.”

“Ahhh. Good to know.”

She continued to regard him with giddiness when his frustrated face startled her.

He turned away and tapped his fist on the table in apparent realization.

“Crap. Of course! You like purple.”

“Jeffy?”

He turned and looked at her with wide eyes. He replied quickly, “Nevermind. I just, um, realized something. I’m stupid.”

“But, I don’t understand….”

They were interrupted by the sounds of a scuffle as the front door. They both turned to see the Dean doing his best to push a determined Chang back out into the street.

“Whoa there, Ben! I don’t think Annie invited you to her birthday party.”

“But this is a bar, right? Anyone can come in here?” Chang peered over the Dean’s shoulder and scanned the room. His face perked up as he spied Ian sitting back down at the table talking to Abed.

Ian’s eyes went wide as he felt a Chang-ness in the air. “Bloody hell!”

Chang pushed past the Dean and made his way to the table. He looked at Ian with sorrowful eyes. “Ian, there you are. I thought I picked up your scent.”

“Kill me.”

“I missed you.”

Ian made a pushing gesture with both hands. “Go home. I’ll see you back there later.”

The Dean waltzed over and watched the interplay. He waived his hand back and forth between them. “Now you two are just _adorable_. I didn’t realize you were an item.”

Everyone exchanged pondering looks. Abed shrugged.

Ian rose from his chair. “Nooooo! Noooo! We are _not_ an _item_ of any sort! Don’t you remember, Craig? I merely provide shelter so he doesn’t continue to live in the school’s air vents.”

The Dean smiled indulgently, his eyes half closed. “I see. You know, Greendale is an inclusive campus. There’s no reason to be defensive.”

Chang looked at Ian curiously. “Are we an item? You didn’t tell me that. I thought we were just roommates.”

“Fuck off, you little piece of amnesia scum.”

Abed jumped to his feet and cocked his head. “Amnesia? Interesting.”

Chang nodded sadly. “Yes, I have Changnesia*. I can’t remember who I am. Ian tells me I’ve been like this for forty eight hours.” He looked around at the whole group now gathered around. He smiled as his eyes fell on Britta.

“Hey, Britta! Good to see you again.”

Britta frantically swatted the air toward him. “Agggh!” She turned and ambled toward the ladies room.

Jeff chuckled at watching her look of horror before Annie poked him in the side.

“What? That was funny. Strange, but funny.”

“Jeffy.”

Nancy smiled nervously and then cleared her throat. “I’m Nancy. I don’t think we’ve met?” She extended her hand.

Chang looked at her with grateful eyes and gave her a sweaty shake with both hands. “I’m Kevin. Nice to meet you nice lady Nancy.”

She smiled tightly as she took back her hand and unobtrusively wiped it on her jeans. “Um, yes.”

Andre furrowed his brow as he munched on a French fry. “Dude, your name is Ben. We named our kid after you. What’s with this Kevin nonsense?”

Shirley nodded and looked expectantly at Chang and then when he shrugged, Ian.

Ian moved his eyes away from the ladies room door and returned his attention back to the group. He cleared his throat and said, “Fine. Turns out he lost his memory. I don’t know quite know what the bloody hell happened, but he may have had a head injury in my apartment. Doctor says he’s fine, but we have no idea when or if his memories will return. So since I hate the name Ben I’ve re-named him Kevin.”

Andre scratched his head and said, “Um, okay. That’s probably the least crazy thing I’ve heard any of you say. Kevin it is.”

Abed nodded vigorously. “This is turning out way better than I expected. We have what I suspect is strong emotional movement in the main plot while also developing a side story and introducing another _crazy_ stereotypical sitcom plot device. Will the audience love it or hate it? We’ll have to wait until the ratings come back.”

“Dude. I know I say this all the time, but…. Amazing.”

Jeff closed his eyes. “Abed, will you please stop with the meta commentary? For the last time, this is real life. And we’re celebrating Annie’s birthday.”

“Sure it is, Jeff. If that helps, I’ll go with it for now. But I say this to all of you. This is too much fun. We need to get the group together more often.”

“Jeffy, I’m feeling kind of funny. I need to sit down.”

Abed watched as Jeff adeptly slid Annie into a chair and joined her at the table. He nodded. “Right, looks like Annie is just about done for the night. We should wrap this up.”

“Who’s Annie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *see “Changnesia,” posted the other day – features Chang, Duncan, and Britta


	21. Worlds Collide, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a very Merry Christmas Chez Dorie

“Come on, let’s get this show on the road!”

Jeff looked up from his position crouched next to Sophie’s bed, sock aloft in his hand. He furrowed his brow and answered Annie, “Give us a sec. She just needs one more sock.”

Annie crossed her arms over her chest and leaned in the doorway. She smiled over at a giggling Sophie, who was in the midst of lightly kicking Jeff with her bare foot.

Jeff carefully blew into the sock and proceeded to inch it onto Sophie’s wiggling foot. “Hold still. Ahhh…there.”

_“Daddy thilly.”_

Annie and Jeff shared a look of amazement, Annie mouthing to Jeff, _“Daddy.”_

Jeff turned his attention back to Sophie and smirked at her, cocking his head to the side. “You did it, munchkin. You enunciated. Cool beans.” He raised his hand for a high five.

Annie watched in amusement as Sophie held up her hand with a squeal, lightly missing Jeff’s hand. She was persistent, however, and successfully tapped his palm on the second try.

_“Der, Daddy. All done.”_

“Good job.”

“Maybe one day you’ll enunciate _her_ name.”

“Hm?”

“Nevermind. Let’s go. I have everything in the car.”

“Annie, why do I get the feeling you’re extra excited this year since the Troberries wrangled themselves an invite?”

“Of course I am! We’ll have almost our whole family together! Won’t that be nice?”

“Mmmm.”

“Grinch.” Annie gave a knock on the doorframe and then shuffled down the hall.

_“Fee done wid da thock, Daddy. You take id back.”_  

*****************************

Although dealing with Sophie and her socks tended to slow him down, Jeff did his best to stall a little on the way out of the apartment this year. He knew Annie was onto him, as they had already analyzed and re-analyzed his concerns about the Christmas season.

Immediately following Annie’s birthday, his mother had declared she wanted to invite Troy and Abed to Christmas, as apparently she had been quite taken with Troy when she met him over the summer. Jeff discovered to his very mild surprise they had kept in contact, with Troy sending her cat videos and Inspector Spacetime promos. Dorie found him “darling” and once she realized his family didn’t celebrate Christmas, she used her maternal maneuvers and between her and Annie, convinced Jeff that it would be the “decent” thing to do in inviting him for the holidays. And since Abed’s family didn’t celebrate Christmas either “of course” he should come along with “his Troy.”

Jeff could have handled Trobed. As weird as it might be to have them there with his family, he knew his mother would be amused and perhaps even occupied enough to stop bugging him. And they were good company for Sophie.

Jeff was still adjusting to the idea of Trobed when the bombshell of Britta tagging along was dropped.

He had made his position known, as his mom was equally adamant in her own opinion. He had scoffed, “Britta? No way! She has a family; at least I think she does. We can’t have half of Greendale at your house, mom!”

His mother had calmly countered, “But dear, Troy tells me he’s worried about her. He doesn’t think she has anywhere to go for Christmas. Apparently she usually goes out of the country but this year she’s seriously lacking funds. And she’s their roommate. And didn’t she help you handle that whole nasty situation with Annie’s ex? Let’s do the decent thing and invite her.”

He had pushed down the smidgen of guilt rising up from his gut as he had retorted, “You don’t know her. She’s _difficult._ Sucks the joy out of anything.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t know how to deal with a person like _that_. That’s heavy sarcasm, by the way, dear.”

“Crap.”

So Britta ended up getting an invite, and to Jeff’s irritation and mild shock, she accepted. It was arranged Troberry would take Britta’s car and meet them there.

It was a strange start to the holidays. Even Ian was acting odd, calling him up repeatedly to make sure he wasn’t forgetting to bring anything and double-checking that everyone had a ride.

“I think everyone’s accounted for. Just come yourself like you usually do.”

“Err, right.”

“Just don’t bring _Kevin_.”

“Not a problem. I’m dropping him off at Craig’s.”

Jeff may have had another reason for stalling on his way to his mother’s house, but he decided to keep that to himself for now. 

x

x

x

In the present moment, Jeff plopped Sophie into the Lexus, buckled her in, and adjusted her purple hairclips. He then pushed some wrapped presents to the side before adding the baby bag. He squinted at an unwrapped and unfamiliar box.

“What’s this?”

Annie looked back from the front seat and smiled. “I’m bringing my backup Menorah. Since we have a few more days of Hanukkah your mom says we can celebrate both.”

“Huh.”

Annie, noticing his increasing anxiety as the morning wore on, decided to use her usual deflection.

“Grinch.” 

**************************

Once they got to Dorie’s house, they were immediately and warmly met by Dorie, Hank, and Sam.

_“Sophie, you come play with me, okay?”_ Sam held out his hand, the other occupied with Hank’s licks.

Jeff stared down at the noticeably taller blonde boy, impressed with his enunciation. He was trying to remember his age. _Three? No…he’s two years older than the hobster…four._ He squinted, noticing what he strongly suspected was a hint of peanut butter on the boy’s hand.

Sophie smiled from her spot next to Jeff. _“Okay_.”

“Whoa there, munchkin. Coat and shoes off first.” He crouched down and undid the zipper of the hot pink winter coat Annie had insisted she wear on the short walk from the car to the front door.

Dorie chuckled as the coat fell away to reveal the tutu along with a buttoned red and green Christmas sweater. Sophie eagerly kicked off her shoes and allowed Dorie to give her a big squeeze before she ran off with Sam and Hank toward the living room.

Jeff stood back up and sighed. “She doesn’t match. But she insisted on that combo.”

“Welcome, dear, Merry Christmas. And Happy Hanukkah.”

“Yeah, you too, mom.”

They hugged.

“So I take it we’re not the first ones here?” He peered past his mother toward the living room with a frown.

Dorie sighed. “Your aunt and uncle are here, and as you can tell Holly and her family. Maybelle will come over later. Oh, and Ian is working on a surprise for the kids.” She leaned toward Annie and said in a fake whisper, “I don’t want to start any rumors, but word has it _Santa_ might be coming by a little bit later.” She chuckled.

Jeff continued to frown. Annie poked him in the side before she hugged Dorie.

“He’s just worried Troy, Abed, and Britta got here before us. But you wouldn’t know it from the way he _stalled_ on getting out of Greendale.”

He shrugged. “That wasn’t my fault. Um, so they’re not here yet, right?”

Dorie placed her hands on her hips and looked up at him with a smirk. “No, you’re safe. What should I know before they get here that you haven’t already told me?”

He stepped back and mumbled, “Nothing. Err, I’ll just put this stuff in our rooms.” He reached down for their bags and then headed up the stairs.

Dorie watched him go and then turned to look at Annie curiously. “Now what is that about? Aren’t they your friends?”

Annie smiled and lightly swatted the air. “You know how he is. He’s just being ridiculous.” 

**************************

Holly came up to Annie as she entered the living room and handed her a cup of hot cider. “Annie, hi. Happy Hanukkah.”

Annie smiled tightly. “It’s good to see you, Holly. Merry Christmas.”

Holly looked at her intently and lowered her voice, “Can we talk for a sec? Like privately?”

“Um, sure.”

Holly motioned for her to follow her to the den. Once inside, she closed the door and they sat down on the couch. Annie spied a duffle bag adorned with a British flag on the floor next to the couch. She nudged it out of the way with her foot and then turned to Holly.

“What is it?”

Holly placed her cider on the side table and said evenly, “I wanted us to be okay. I’m sorry about my reaction the last time we saw each other. That wasn’t very cool of me.”

Annie let out a nervous laugh. “It’s fine. I know I kind of shocked you. It’s not a big deal.”

Holly nodded slowly, pausing for a moment before she said, “You’ve been avoiding me.”

Annie exaggerated an eye roll and clutched her mug. “Pshaw! I have not. It’s just been a busy semester.” She looked down and began to pick at the frayed edges of the couch.

Holly said more urgently, “You have. Look, I get it, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as judgmental. I have no problem with the age difference between you guys. Jeff’s the closest thing in the world I have to a brother, and well you know that we aren’t that close at all. Since you guys got together I’ve thought that I finally had more family. And I really like you, Annie. You bring out the best in my cousin. And Sophie is so cute and nice for Sam, and….”

Annie reached over and patted her knee. “It’s okay. We’re fine. I like you too.”

Holly sniffed. “Okay. And um, I also didn’t want you to think I was being bitchy about the drug thing. I mean I’ve done some experimenting too, so I can’t talk. And I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Annie nodded with understanding.

Holly took a deep breath and then said, “And look, my main shock was that you’d been on your own so young with Sophie. From what Aunt Dorie tells me, your ex wasn’t around.”

Annie tensed slightly, unsure of why Holly was being so persistent. “Holly, it’s okay, there isn’t a need for you to apologize…”

Holly interjected, “No, really. I _respect_ you. Like a lot. I don’t know how you did it on your own with a newborn. I can’t even imagine what that would be like.”

Annie watched as tears formed in Holly’s eyes. She reached over again and patted Holly’s knee. “Do you want to tell me what’s really wrong?”

Holly shook her head and gazed off toward the window. She said in a trembling voice, “I don’t even know where to start with all of this. I just want to make sure the kids are okay.” 

************************

Jeff sat on the floor and meticulously arranged Sophie’s stuffed creatures on her bed. He peered into the bag and took out Sophie’s baby doll, frowning in thought as he considered where best to put it. He lifted open the pink comforter and placed the doll inside, head on the pillow.

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

He didn’t look up as he fumbled in Sophie’s bag for her pajamas. He growled, “I’m busy.”

“Well Bloody Merry Christmas to you, too.”

Ian walked over and plopped down in the corner chair. He sipped on his cider, a Santa hat in his other hand. He scanned Jeff’s posture and then asked, “So why are you hiding out?”

“I am not _hiding out_. I just want to make sure the munchkin’s things are settled so that she can go to bed later without a fuss.”

“Right.” Ian slowly sipped his cider once again, keeping his gaze fixed on Jeff’s profile.

After some moments of silence, Jeff turned with a sigh and sat down fully on the floor, resting his lower back against the tiny bed.

“Can I run something past you?”

Ian immediately perked up. He gave a nod.

Jeff lifted one knee, pulling it up toward his chest as he began running his hand over his scruff. “So, um, I’m thinking of coming clean with everyone. Just pulling off the band-aid.”

“Coming clean?”

“The whole I-faked-a-degree-and-I’m-a-suspended-lawyer thing.”

“Ah. That little thing.”

Jeff looked tentatively over toward Ian as he asked, “What do you think?’

Ian placed the cup on the saucer and laid it delicately on his lap, pushing the hat off to the side.   “I think you should do whatever you think is best. Your mum already knows, Annie knows, I know.   Your other study buddies know. Do you think anyone else will really care?”

Jeff leaned back and took a deep breath. “Crap, I don’t know. Holly can be kinda judgy. You should have seen her face when Annie confessed all her stuff to her a few months ago.   And I have no idea about Matt. He’s always been hard for me to read, and then there’s my aunt and uncle. I guess I _kind of_ care what they think. You know, for my mom’s sake. I don’t want my mom to be ashamed.”

Ian bristled at Jeff’s words and then ventured carefully, “You could not tell them at all. It’s worked thus far.”

There was a pause as Jeff appeared to mull this over.

Finally, he pursed his lips and, staring at the far wall, said, “But see, if Annie’s brave, then I can be too, right? Not that it would be _brave_ since um, I don’t care.”

Ian nodded, and with a hint of bemusement, resumed sipping his beverage. “Well I think you should do whatever pleases you. But you should know that your mum would never be ashamed of you.”

“ _Ashamed?_ That’s a pretty strong word, Ian. Come on.”

Ian grimaced and shook his head. He made the tactical decision not to confront his friend on this one.

He watched as Jeff turned the baby doll on its side, facing the wall, and tucked it in. 

**************************

“Welcome, dears!” Dorie beamed as she held open the front door and made an exaggerated waiving motion inward.

Troy ambled in and gave her a long hug. “Thanks for inviting us, Mrs. Winger.”

As she moved back, Dorie patted him on the shoulder. “Now, now, I told you that you can call me Dorie.”

He nodded with a grin. “Okay, Dorie.” He turned to let Abed into the house.

Abed stepped carefully into the front hallway and promptly handed Dorie a small wrapped box. “Hello. I’m Abed. Merry Christmas. This is a Christmas present from us.”

Dorie tilted her head and regarded him thoughtfully for a few moments before she said, “Hi Abed. I’m Dorie, Jeffrey’s mother. Thank you for the Christmas present.”

“You’re welcome. It’s Christmas.”

Dorie smiled, her eyes skimming over his body, noting his and Troy’s Christmas sweaters and argyle socks. She brought her gaze up to his face, her eyes twinkling with interest. “I’m so happy to meet you, Abed. Troy’s told me so many good things.”

Abed nodded several times in quick succession. “I’m very excited as well. This has the potential to be a classic mashup of cliché sitcom holiday specials with a tinge of angsty family drama. Perhaps even with soap opera elements.” He made a show of slowly waiving his hand to the side while wiggling his eyebrows.

Troy looked at him with an expression of awe.

Dorie moved her gaze from Abed to Troy and then back again. “Well well well, now I’m damn curious. You’ll have to point out the soap opera elements for sure. I haven’t watched one of those in years, but they were always a hoot.”

Abed arched his brow as Britta came stumbling in through the front door, her arms laden with duffel bags. With a huff, she threw them down on the floor.

“You jerks! You can’t just leave me with all the stuff!”

“You must be Britta?” Dorie extended her hand.

Britta’s eyes widened as she looked up from her scowl, her knitted cap half falling off her head. “Oh, yeah, hey. You must be Jeff’s mom?”

They shook hands.

“Yes, dear. I’m so glad you could join us. Merry Christmas.” Dorie adeptly caught the cap as it fell. She handed it to Britta with a smile.

Britta returned the smile and then began to study Dorie’s eyes and nose. “Oh my god, you look like him. That’s insane!”

“I’m glad you think so, dear. My son is very handsome.”

Britta narrowed her eyes. “He’s too handsome for his own good is what he is. And I don’t think he wanted me to meet you. Which is really why I came.”

Dorie placed one hand on her chest and exaggerated a scoff. “Why on earth would he not want you and I to meet?”

“Because I’m a psych major. He knows merely by talking to you, I’ll gain insight into his issues.”

“Ooooh…you’re a psych major, dear? That’s wonderful. Do you know Ian Duncan? He always comes to Christmas.”

There was no mistaking the flush spreading over Britta’s face as she nodded and then quickly grabbed a bag and hoisted it over her shoulder. “I should, um, put this somewhere?”

“In the den, dear. We can discuss sleeping arrangements later, but I was thinking the boys could camp out in the living room and perhaps you could sleep with Sophie in her room. Annie tells me you’re good with her.”

Troy and Abed quickly looked at each other before turning back to Dorie.

Abed immediately interjected, “We were thinking we could watch over the Pink Avenger tonight. It is dangerous time in the land of winter in the darkness.”

Britta shrugged. “That’s fine with me if it’s okay with Annie. I don’t really care where I sleep.”

Dorie looked back at Troy and Abed with a squint. “Well, we will have to consult Annie and Jeffrey about the issue…” She turned her attentions to Britta as she continued, “but you can sleep on the couch, or you’re welcome to the den, but you’ll have to talk to Ian about that. You’ll be the only two sleeping downstairs. But I trust you two can figure it out.”

Britta’s face turned a deeper shade of pink as sputtered, “Down this way?” She motioned down the hallway.

Dorie nodded and watched her go with intense interest.

“Aaaand that’s the soap opera element.” Abed gave Troy a high five.

“Dude, I have no idea what you’re talking about, but yet again, A-mazing.”

Dorie continued to gaze down the hallway, her index finger tapping her chin. 

**************************

Jeff successfully avoided hugs from Trobed (he gave some well-timed head pats), gave a curt nod and waive to Britta even as she attempted to say something snarky, and then slinked his way toward the garage.

Maybe Annie was right. Perhaps he was a cat.

He took one last glance back to see Sophie and Sam chattering about something to Aunt Ellen and Uncle Lou, who in between them were cooing over baby Braden. His mother was sitting on the floor and pushing a ball toward Hank. He sighed and entered the garage, closing the door firmly behind him. He closed his eyes and leaned against it.

“Hey Jeff.”

“Holy crap!” He jumped slightly as he opened his eyes to see Holly’s husband Matt sitting on a short stool and sipping a beer.

Matt shrugged, a small smile forming. “Sorry. I didn’t know how to let you know I was here without freaking you out.” He reached down and grabbed another beer, holding it outward.

Jeff let out a breath and then walked over to join him, sitting down on another stool. He eagerly accepted the beer and was about to open it when he stopped.

Matt eyed him curiously. “What is it? It’s like a tradition. You, me, Lou if he’s game. We get one.”

Jeff nodded as he continued to stare at the beer. “Yeah, but, um maybe I should save mine for later? I might need the liquid courage in a little bit and I’d hate to waste it.”

“Have two. I won’t tell anyone.”

Jeff groaned. “I don’t want my mom’s wrath. If she knows, she’ll lay into me. Ugh.”

Matt took a swig. “Is this about more people? Dorie said you were bringing friends this year.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Yes, some people may have wrangled themselves an invite, but I didn’t bring them _with me_. I just brought Annie and the munchkin.”

Matt nodded, picking at the bottle label. “Annie’s nice. Holly was really looking forward to seeing her again.”

Jeff found himself letting out a breath of relief.

Matt noticed his reaction and added, “She told me all about the confession. You know none of us care, right? I mean I was a little surprised, but hell, whatever.”

As reassured as he was with the confirmation that his family didn’t seem to mind about Annie’s past, Jeff wasn’t confident that they would react as well to his upcoming disclosure.

_Afterall addiction is one thing. Being a lying bastard is another._

He accepted the opener from Matt and then paused to study the bottle. He mumbled, “Hey, how’s life? Your kid accosted my kid on our way into the house.”

Matt let out a quick laugh. “ _Your_ kid? Wow, you’ve fully embraced it.”

Jeff nodded, his eyebrows rising slightly as he popped the lid off the bottle.

Matt took another swig. “Be careful. Soon you’ll get a crappy minivan and your life will be over.”

Jeff replied sardonically, “Ha ha.”

“You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Kids…they suck your freedom.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

\--“They do. Mine snuck up on me. But you, man, you like _chose_ it. Wow.” Matt shook his head in disbelief.

Jeff narrowed his eyes, finding a sense of irritation rising in his chest. He responded evenly, “I hardly think your kids _snuck up_ on you. Not that I have any interest in the _details_ , but knowing Holly, I’m thinking you two discussed it and came to a decision.”

Matt let out a nervous laugh and then grimaced. “Well, sure. To be honest, I wasn’t crazy about having a second kid, but yeah, okay, I agreed to it.”

Jeff felt the tightness moving toward this head.

Matt continued, “But oh my god, he had _colic_. And he only recently began sleeping through the night. I’ve been going insane.”

Jeff eyed the two empty bottles to Matt’s left. He took a deep breath before he responded with a careful tone, “That sounds rough. But he’s sleeping now, so it’ll get better. And Sam seems almost like a fully functioning small person these days, so I’m sure the other one will follow in his footsteps. It’ll be fine.”

Matt nodded slowly and looked down at his beer. “Holly and I don’t do anything fun anymore.   Man, what I would give to do it all over.”

Jeff tensed even further and looked at him with a frown. “Why the hell would you say something like that?” 

****************************

Annie approached Jeff as he emerged from the garage. She took a quick look around them and then tapped his arm. “I need to talk to you.”

He huffed and took her hand, pulling her into the kitchen. She watched as he placed a half-consumed bottle of beer near the sink and turned to face her. He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head.

As he inhaled the scent of her shampoo, he mumbled, “I love you and munchers. Even if I get sarcastic or whatever, you know I don’t really mean it, right? ”

She pulled back slightly and looked up at him with a sad smile. “I love you, too. What’s wrong?”

He let out a long sigh. “Nothing. What did you want to talk to me about?”

She hesitated for a few moments, looking at the floor before resuming eye contact. “It’s about Holly. She wanted me to ask you something.”

“She can ask me herself.”

“It’s a delicate subject. She needs some legal advice.”

He tensed once again. “Okay, I maybe assumed something like that. But well, as _you and I know_ , I’m not a lawyer.”

Annie rolled her eyes as she reached up to fiddle with his shirt collar. “I think it would be good if you could just talk to her. Let me tell you what I know so far…”

Jeff looked up at the ceiling and interjected, “Crap, this means I have to tell them.”

She stilled, her eyes widening. “Tell them what?”

Oblivious to her confusion, he added, “Fine. That’s it. I’m going to do it. My therapist was right.”

“What are you talking about?”

He looked back down at her and pursed his lips. “Don’t you see? I have to. I have to tell them everything. The whole fake lawyer shebang. It’s about frickin’ time I did.”

She gulped as she looked at him with concern. “ _Now_? Are you sure?”

He cringed. “If you can be honest, I can too. Hell, maybe it’ll feel good to get it all out in the open.”

She squeezed his hand. “Okay.”

They looked at each other for several moments in silence, a slight smile on both their lips. Annie then rose on her tip toes and gave him a tender peck on the cheek.  

Extending his bent elbow, he said, “Let’s get this Christmas on, shall we?” 

******************************

“Old MacDooooonald had a butt butt!”

_“Wid a bud bud here und a bud bud der!”_

Ian watched the display and folded his arms over his chest. “Well, this is splendid Christmas caroling, but I must use the loo.” He cast a surreptitious glance at Britta and then turned and made his way down the hall.

Dorie watched with intense interest as Britta followed him out. Abed caught her eye and once again wiggled his eyebrows. Dorie responded with a curt nod.

Jeff and Annie came in from the kitchen, Jeff’s eyes widening as he heard the added verses:

“ _Here a bud der a bud ebweywhere a bud bud!”_

He watched as Troy fell forward from his seated position on the floor and Sophie and Sam threw themselves on top of him.

_“Doy had a bud!”_

_“E-i-e –i-ooooooh!”_

Cackles of laughter.

Abed raised one eyebrow and then looked over at Jeff. “I wouldn’t have put this in the script. They started it.”

“Of course they did, Abed.” Jeff cast a glance back at the garage and gave Annie’s hand a squeeze. He then disentangled himself and went down to the floor, grabbing a squealing Sophie from her spot on Troy’s back. “Come here, munchkin!”

Holly watched from the couch as Jeff and Troy continued to play with the kids. She then let a squirming Braden down from her lap, placing him carefully on the floor. He promptly crawled over to join the ruckus.

Sam pointed at him and announced, _“That’s my baby.”_

Sophie, now free from Jeff’s grasp, nodded as if this was the most logical statement in the world. She placed her hands on her hips and said, _“Babee Baden. He your babee.”_

Jeff immediately felt something twinge in his chest. He cast another quick glance at the closed door to the garage and scooped up Braden, carefully placing him in a sitting position on Troy’s back. “There you go, Brad. King of Butt Troy.”

_“It’s not Brad! His name is Braden!”_

_“Ya Daddy, id Baden!”_

Jeff replied with an air of nonchalance but with a hint of smirk, “Oh, sorry, Sam. There you go, _Braden_.”

Holly chuckled as Annie sat down beside her and leaned over to whisper, “It’ll be okay.”

She whispered back, “You have a good guy there, Annie. My cousin is a softie at heart.” 

**************************

Eventually there was a surprisingly normal noon meal, even if it was punctuated by musings from Abed, gasps of amazement from Troy (he really loved Dorie’s cooking), and snark from Britta.

The actual children gabbed to each other in between stuffing their faces with mashed potatoes. The baby sat in a high chair and watched most of the proceedings while being fed other squishy foods.

Hank was stationed solidly in between Sam and Sophie’s chairs, awaiting any morsels that might drop. Jeff figured it was a pretty safe bet the dog wouldn’t go hungry.

Britta looked over at him with her most annoyingly smug expression.

“So, I can’t believe we’re sitting at Christmas dinner with Jeff Winger’s mother? That’s crazy. Isn’t this just crazy, Jeff?”

Jeff nodded with a grimace. “Yes, it’s just _crazy_.”

He then ignored her attempts to gain his attention, keeping his eyes away from what he was certain was a quietly sloshed Matt seated across the table. He turned to focus on answering Abed’s questions.

“So Jeff, this is where you grew up?”

“Yes, Abed.”

“May I take some footage later? It’s for my documentary.”

Jeff began to open his mouth when Dorie chimed in, “Yes, of course, dear. But, um, let’s discuss the parameters after dinner. I don’t want you shooting in every room in the house. Stay out of my bedroom and the garage.”

“Garage?”

“The bunnies get scared. I don’t want you upsetting them.”

Britta’s ears perked up. “You have bunnies too? I’ve been trying to make friends with your cats.”

Dorie smiled. “I normally let them have the run of the house, but not with so many people around. The dears would get trampled. I’ll show them to you later. ”

“Cool. Thanks.”

Ian chimed in, “Dorie’s quite fond of animals, as are you, Miss Perry. The two of you will get along splendidly.”

Britta eyed Ian’s mug of non-alcoholic hot tea and then shot a look between him and Dorie. She scrunched up her forehead in thought as she began to pick at the side salad.

Sophie chose that moment to smack her hand on her plate. _“Tit-ta thilly! Tit-ta eat durkey?”_ She gestured toward the dish in the middle of the table.

Britta shook her head. “Sophie, I know you’re a little to young to understand this, but I’m a _vegetarian._ That means I don’t eat animals.”

Sam looked at her in confusion. _“We don’t eat animals silly. That’s so silly.”_

_“Yah, Tit-ta. You thilly. No eat anmamamals. We eat durkey und datoes.”_

“That’s not quite true. See…”

Annie cleared her throat loudly and kicked Britta under the table.

“Ow!”

Holly watched with a smile as Jeff began cutting up Sophie’s slab of turkey into smaller bits.

Dorie seemed amused at Britta’s orneriness. She leaned herelbows on the table and cradled her chin in her hands. “Britta dear, I was informed in advance you were a vegetarian. Many of the side dishes should be fine for you.”

Britta turned to her with a steel-eyed gaze. “I was told by _some people_ ,” she cast a scowl in Jeff’s direction, “not to make a big deal of it, but yes, I am a _vegetarian_.” She sat up straighter, puffing out her chest slightly.

Ian cast a glance at it before he quickly moved his eyes back to his plate while wiping his brow with a napkin. Jeff noticed this maneuver, his eyes widening for second before he also turned his attention downward.

Dorie watched both of them with intense curiosity. She then addressed Britta with a hint of amusement, “Now dear, there’s no problem.” She leaned over and firmly slid a medium sized bowl over to her. “I made a quinoa dish. It’s from a very special recipe from my friend Mary. I do hope you like it.”

Britta appeared slightly flustered by Dorie’s conciliatory tone. She relaxed her shoulders and said softly, “Oh, um, thanks, Mrs. Winger. That’s really nice of you.” She accepted the quinoa dish and began to scoop some of it onto her plate.

Dorie smiled. “We should talk about our pets later. Sophie tells me you have cats. And please call me Dorie.”

Britta nodded with a shy smile.

Troy grinned and said earnestly, “Britta, I brought some Jell-O. It’s in the car. I thought you could have it for dessert.”

Britta began to scowl once again as she said, “Jell-O is made with gelatin. And I can eat dessert. Dorie made apple pie.”

Troy hunched forward with a frown and mumbled, “Jell-O’s made of animals? Seriously?”

Jeff leaned over and wiped Sophie’s face. She pushed his hand away and then said loudly, _“Fee NOT eat durkey. Tit-ta NOT eat durkey. Fee eat keen.”_ She gestured toward the quinoa dish.

Britta appeared to stifle something as she placed her hand over her mouth.

Jeff smirked and leaned down to whisper something to Sophie. She giggled but then said loudly, _“No! Keen!”_

Britta caught his eye and mouthed silently, “Who just won Christmas?”

Dorie watched as Jeff rolled his eyes and Britta proceeded to stick out her tongue.

Annie took Jeff’s hand under the table and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Come on, Britta. Can we have one nice day without the two of you bickering?” 

*****************************

After eating, everyone made efforts to clean up or keep the children occupied. Holly went into the den to put Braden down for a nap in his pack ‘n play. Jeff couldn’t help but notice Ian had disappeared.

He leaned down and whispered to Annie, “When should I tell them?” He shifted his eyes around the room, letting them linger on the path to the hallway. He added, “I have a strong suspicion Santa will be making a visit within a few minutes. Before or after?”

Annie grimaced and responded in a low voice, “I don’t know. You could wait until the kids are done opening their presents?”

He cast a glance over at Sophie and Sam as they squealed at some of Trobed’s antics. “You’re right. I’ll wait.”

A few minutes later, Sophie, Sam, Troy, and Abed were jumping up and down with excitement.

“Santa!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas continues…


	22. Worlds Collide, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It continues to be a very Merry Christmas Chez Dorie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to read the first part of Christmas in the previous chapter before continuing. I posted two chapters at the same time.

After Santa muttered something about needing to get on to other houses and thus departed, everyone settled into their spots for the gift exchange.

Troy glanced wistfully down the hall. “I hope Santa is okay. I think we should have invited him to stay. He seemed kinda lonely.”

Jeff closed his eyes as Annie smiled and nodded politely.

Abed tilted his head and remarked, “I’m glad he’s gone. To be honest, he didn’t seem that jolly to me. And he reminded me of that Christmas Wizard from first year.”

Sophie scowled at Abed and held up her hand, making the cutting hand gesture. _“No Bed! Id pesant dime.”_

Jeff looked on proudly as Annie rolled her eyes.

As the festivities wore on, Annie leaned into Jeff’s side and whispered, “Do you think she likes her Chrismukkah present?”

Jeff glanced over at Sophie, who was busy punching various buttons on her new toy plastic phone.

He chuckled as he whispered back, “I’m fairly sure we just saved her from a life of crime. And we’ve kept my phone safe, so yeah. As Santa said, _Booyah_ to us.”

Abed stood off to the side, holding up a small pink hoodie. He cocked his head toward it and made eye contact with Sophie.

Sophie smiled over at him and began to giggle.

Abed raised a finger to his lips. 

*******************************

After the kids were distracted, Jeff was able to get word to his mom that he wanted to make an announcement. Dorie looked momentarily skeptical before Annie pulled her aside and whispered something into her ear.

Dorie smiled sadly at Annie, giving a nod before she stated her intention for all adults, minus Troy and Abed, to follow her into the dining room. Abed and Troy exchanged looks before Troy suddenly began shrieking about being left out. As others attended to his concerns, Abed quietly slipped out.

After Troy had calmed down, Dorie corralled the adults, minus Troy and Abed (who was now back), into the dining room. Jeff made some protestations over Britta being present, but Britta paid him no mind and eagerly sat down with everyone. Jeff rolled his eyes at her before he cleared his throat and steadied himself.

_This doesn’t have to be a big deal._

_Who cares what they think?_

_I certainly don’t._

He scanned the confused faces at the table, ignoring Ian and Britta, and finally focusing on Annie’s encouraging presence. He took a deep breath.

“Okay, you’re all probably wondering why we’ve called you in here. But I have something I need to say.”

Annie gave his hand a squeeze under the table.

As he hesitated, Dorie piped in, “Go ahead, Jeffrey. I already know, so just fill everyone else in. Then we can go back to our celebration.”

She smiled encouragingly at him.

He took another deep breath, thankful that his mother was attempting to down play the situation. He cleared his throat and then said in his best matter-of-fact courtroom voice, “As you all know, I’ve cut back my legal work and have been taking some college classes.”

Hand squeeze.

He continued, “What I haven’t shared with most of you, but of which my mother and Annie are aware, is that my license to practice law was suspended, effective two and a half years ago. I’ve been working as a legal consultant since then for my old firm.”

Mild gasps.

Hand squeeze.

Continuing to channel his courtroom persona, he pushed on, “The reason for the suspension is that it was discovered I never finished my undergraduate degree. There are some bullshit reasons for that, and I don’t intend to get into it right now, but the fact remains is that I faked my bachelors degree in order to purse a career in law. Since this deceit has come to light, the Colorado Bar Association is requiring me to complete my bachelors degree before my license can be reinstated.”

He finally took a moment to fully appreciate the reactions he was getting, noticing the stunned expressions of his silent audience. His eyes went to his mother, who almost seemed full of pride. He didn’t look at Annie but felt her support.

Hand squeeze.

_Maybe it’ll be okay._

He cleared his throat and then said, “And I should add I apologize profusely for the deception. It is something I regret, most of all, doing this to my mom who has been nothing but supportive of me my entire life.”

He heard a sniff.

“I’m really sorry, mom.”

“You know I already forgave you, Jeffrey. It’s fine.”

Hand squeeze.

_Okay, maybe things will really be okay._

His daze was broken as Britta slammed her closed fist on the table. “Oh my god! You did it! You’re human. Good job!”

Ian grabbed her hand and pulled it toward him. She startled, elbowing him in the side.

“Ouch!”

She whispered a little too loudly, “But we’re here to see this. Isn’t this cool? It’s like a family therapy session.”

Ian cringed and muttered something to her that was inaudible to everyone else. She then scowled and remained quiet, pulling her hand back and crossing her arms over her chest.

Jeff smiled tightly. “Yes, as you can all see, Britta and Ian also already know. But I thought it was time to tell you all. So, um, anyway. Yeah.”

Holly looked back at her parents, who appeared in shock. Aunt Ellen mouthed to Dorie, “You knew?”

Dorie nodded resolutely. She responded audibly, “Yes, Ellen. He came clean to me two years ago. As far as I’m concerned, he’s fixing things. And I’ve forgiven him for lying to me. And my hope is he’s forgiven me for not always being the best mother to him.”

“Mom….”

“Shhh, Jeffrey, I could have been better. Most people at this table are fully aware at how badly I messed up. You were just trying to protect me from that. We both made mistakes.”

Holly looked at her parents’ expressions of disbelief and Matt’s mild surprise. He turned to stare out the window.  

Uncle Lou gasped, “But he lied! He was never a real lawyer! That’s outrageous. Jeffrey, how could you?”

Jeff shrugged and looked off to the side.

Holly swiveled her head and made eye contact with Jeff, then Annie, then Dorie, before going back to Jeff. She steadied herself for a moment and then said, “Wow. That’s quite the revelation, Jeff. That must have been hard to tell us. But thank you for doing so. I’m really glad you’re working on making things right.”

Jeff stared at her incredulously. “Really?”

She laughed nervously while picking at a doily on the table. “Yeah, you were too perfect anyway. It’s nice to know I’m not the only screw-up in this family.”

Jeff gulped.

Hand squeeze.

She added with the roll of her eyes, “My parents haven’t been thrilled with me lately. And they were always going on about how wonderful you were. So really, that’s for taking the heat off of me.”

“Holly!”

She scowled at her mother. “Oh please.” She turned back to Jeff, “So you weren’t a real lawyer. So what? You did practice law, right?”

“Well, um, yeah.”

She seemed to contemplate this for a moment before she added, “And then you went back to college. And then you met Annie and Sophie, and you seem to have nice friends. My kids like them, and they like you. So hey, we’re cool.”

Jeff continued to stare at her with a mixture of incredulity and awe. Annie being Annie half stood and pulled her in for a long hug.

Maybelle hunched forward dejectedly. “I thought they were going to tell us they were getting married.”

No one noticed the black video camera perched atop the dining room china cabinet. The red light was on and it made a faint whirring sound. 

****************************

Once everyone shuffled out of the dining room, they all attempted to resume some semblance of holiday activities. Dorie was noticeably frosty with her sister and her husband, Holly and Annie seemed chummier than ever, and Matt disappeared yet again.

To his displeasure, Jeff found himself cornered by Ian and Britta. Britta poked him in the chest with her index finger. “That was fantastic, Jeff. Thanks for doing that in front of me. Really, what do I owe you?”

He groaned as he crossed his arms across his chest. “Bite me. I did that because it was the right thing to do. And I did it _in spite_ of you being here.”

Ian frowned as he watched them stare each other down. He cleared his throat and ventured, “Well, my guess is that was very cathartic, Jeffrey. Now why don’t we move on to other subjects? Abed mentioned a Christmas movie.”

Britta continued to lock eyes with Jeff. She then suddenly softened and said in a low voice, “Hey, are you okay? That was a pretty big deal what happened back there.”   She reached out and lightly touched his elbow.

Ian tracked the gesture.

Jeff relaxed his shoulders and smiled slightly at her. “Yeah, um, I’m fine. I just, uh, wanted to get that off my chest.”

Britta gave a nod of understanding and then said, “Good job. I think it meant a lot to Annie and your mom.”

“Um, thanks.”

Ian looked back and forth between them and was about to open his mouth when Dorie came up between him and Britta and placed her hands on their shoulders. “Now now, what am I missing here?”

Ian sputtered, “We’ll um, leave you and Jeffrey alone to chat. Miss Perry, perhaps I could show you around?”

Dorie brightened. “Yes, Ian, show her the back porch! I placed some nice Christmas decorations out there.”

She watched them go and then turned back to Jeff. She reached up and motioned for him to bend down to meet her halfway so that they could hug.

As she held him, she said, “I’m so proud of you. Thank you for doing that.”

“Yeah, well.” 

*****************************

After some more running around, the kids tired and Holly packed up Sam and Braden to go home. Sophie said her goodbyes to Sam from under a pink hoodie she was now wearing, and Aunt Ellen and Uncle Lou escorted the kids out. Holly gave Dorie, Annie, and finally Jeff another hug before she left.

Jeff watched all of them go with a frown. “Where the hell did Matt go?”

Annie smiled tightly as she crouched down to pick up a lilting Sophie. “He went to warm up the car.”

“He didn’t even say goodbye. That’s kind of rude. Don’t tell me he’s so offended by my crap he can’t even be decent and thank my mom for having him over.”

Dorie tapped him lightly on the arm as she kept her eyes on the closed door. “Your friend Abed was right. There are many soap opera elements this holiday. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he’s not here next Christmas. But I do hope they work it out.”

“Well crap.”

Annie rose up on her tiptoes and gave Jeff a kiss on the cheek as Sophie giggled. “See, Holly’s fine with your secret. And I’m sure everyone else will be okay once they get used to it.”

Appearing preoccupied, Jeff suddenly tensed and made his way to the door.

Annie stared at him in confusion. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to make sure Holly’s driving and not that idiot husband of hers.”

As she closed the door after him, Dorie turned to Annie and motioned for her to hand Sophie over. Once Annie did so, Dorie said with a glint in her eye, “When he comes back, you two should really check out my back porch. It’s very festive. I’ll get her ready for bed.” 

**************************

Jeff leaned against the porch railing and let out a low laugh.

Annie smiled up at him and nestled into his side. “This is nice.”

“It’s cold out here. Aren’t you freezing?”

“Maybe you could put your arm around me to warm me up?”

He promptly did so with another low chuckle.

She added, “Maybe you could also do something else?” She exaggerated lifting her head to draw attention to the mistletoe hanging over their heads.

He followed her gaze and let out a sigh. “My mom always overdoes it with the mistletoe.”

She fluttered her eyelashes. “You mean like my first Christmas here? The den?”

He looked back down at her and pulled her closer with both arms. “She was evil. She knew we’d be in there.”

“You weren’t complaining.”

“I wasn’t going to…um, kiss you.”

She sighed. “Don’t forget I already know you had bought me purple pens by then, even if you didn’t have the guts to give them to me until the next fall. If Ian hadn’t interrupted, I think you would have kissed me.”

“Fine, maybe.”

“But I’m glad you didn’t.”

He startled. “Wait…what?”

She affected a pout as she reached up and lightly touched his exposed collarbone. “You’d have found a way to take it back. You weren’t ready for me. But now everything’s better.”

“Hell, yeah, it is.”

He bent down and they made full use of the mistletoe.

Inside, Troy and Abed turned back from the kitchen window. Britta glanced at them from her spot at the table, a footed pajama clad Sophie on her lap.

“What were you two looking at?”

Troy bit his knuckle and did a little hop before he high fived Abed. “I know I’m not supposed to celebrate it, but man I love Christmas!”

Britta handed Sophie the sippy cup. “I guess Christmas isn’t so bad. My family Christmases always sucked, but the kids seemed to have fun today. And you two were really good with them.”

Troy tilted his head toward the window and said with a grin, “I think some adults had fun too.”

With that, he pushed his reindeer antlers further on his head, grabbed a mug of cider from the counter, and joined Britta and Sophie at the table.

Abed kept his hands behind his back.

Britta said to him, “What are you doing? Come sit here with us.”

Abed continued to stand near the window. His voice rising slightly, he said, “This day has exceeded my expectations. I have enough material here for a sitcom Christmas Special, an angsty drama, a romance, and depending on how things go tonight, perhaps, dare I say, a slapstick sex comedy.”

“Abed! I don’t think anyone will be,” she lowered her voice and placed her hands over Sophie’s ears,” having _sex_ tonight.”

_“Tit-ta thilly.”_

Troy placed his elbow on the table, cradling his head on his hand. Staring lovingly at Sophie, he said, “Abed, I think I want to have a baby.”

“We’re soooo not ready for that. You know I need to make my movie first.” 

**************************

Jeff closed the door to the dishwasher until it clicked. He pressed the “on” button before resuming wiping down the counter.

Dorie padded into the kitchen and began to busy herself with prepping the coffee maker.

They each worked in silence for a minute before Dorie stilled and asked, “So, what’s the story with Britta?”

Jeff groaned as he continued to scrub at a stubborn spot on the counter. “Nothing.”

“Oh, please. You know I see through you. I pick up on things.”

He threw down the rag, turned to face her, and crossed his arms over his chest. Staring at the ceiling, he said, “Okay, fine. I’m fairly certain, okay, I think it’s highly probable that she and Ian are doing _something_. Annie may have let some information slip when she was drunk on her birthday. But I haven’t talked to either one about it nor have I chosen to confirm with Annie when she has been sober. Please note that I cannot stress enough how much I intend to _not confirm._ ”

Dorie’s shook her head as she turned on the coffee maker. “I already figured that out, dear.” She paused and then mused, “I wonder why he didn’t tell me it was her? She’s just delightful.”

She watched as Jeff rolled his eyes. She squinted at him as she continued, “As interesting as your information is, it’s not really what I was referring to.”

He appeared to startle as his eyes swooped down to hers. “Hm?”

She inched closer and looked at him intently. “What happened between you and Britta?”

She watched as he struggled to maintain his blasé demeanor, his eyes shifting back and forth before going up to the ceiling. “What the hell mom….nothing.”

“So you were intimate with her?”

He lurched back. “Mom!”

She nodded with a wearied sigh. “After not knowing about your love life for so long, frankly I can’t keep up. First I meet Annie, then I hear about this Michelle person, and now Britta.”

He closed his eyes and winced.

He could hear her fingernails tapping on the counter as she added, “You’ve been busy.”

Keeping his eyes closed, he pulled his arms more tightly against his chest. “Crap. It was awhile ago.” He opened his eyes and continued, “And before you ask, yes, Annie knows. And _I didn’t cheat on her_.”

Dorie waived a hand in the air. “Well, I assumed as much.”

After some moments of extremely awkward silence, he ventured, “What gave it away?”

She let out a long sigh. “Poor Ian’s been positively frantic. I think he’s insecure. He’s been watching the two of you like a hawk the entire day. You and her are certainly engaged in some sort of one upmanship. And yet,” she paused to study his face as she continued, “there’s a tenderness there.”

She stopped speaking to let that sink in as she took out the now full coffee pitcher and poured out two mugs. She motioned for them to sit down at the table and slid one cup over to him as he obeyed.

He took a few moments to slowly sip his steaming mug before he said, “Not that I really want to discuss this with you, but Britta and I were never a _thing_. We maybe thought we could be, I don’t know. We argued a lot. But we didn’t date.”

“I see.”

She sipped her coffee and then sighed.

He mumbled, “It was only once.” His eyes moved from his mug to meet her steely gaze. “Crap. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

Keeping her voice steady, she said, “Oh, I’m just fine dear. Believe it or not, I’ve had even more awkward conversations than this one.”

He smirked a little at that before he explained, “It was when Annie was dating the hippie. We were both free. It was simple. But we both almost immediately agreed it was a mistake.”

She nodded and continued to sip her coffee. “Well, everyone makes mistakes. But I’d like to ask you one favor.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you make sure Ian knows this, dear? About the no romantic feelings part? How it was a mutual decision to not take things any further?”

“Mom…”

“It would be the decent thing to do, Jeffrey. He knows he can’t match up to you physically…” she sighed wisftfully as she added, “you were always such a handsome boy. Ian has other qualities, most of all his humor and genuine kindness, but he can’t compete with you. Please, put him at ease on this.”

Jeff shook his head. “Whatever they’re doing I don’t really want to get involved in it.”

Dorie placed her mug on the table and leaned over to pat his hand. “I hardly think it’s just about sex. Now I can’t quite read Britta, the poor dear is so guarded, she must have had a rough time of it. But any fool can see that boy has it bad.”

“Well crap.” 

*************************************

Annie bounced down the stairs to find Dorie and Jeff sitting in the living room gossiping about something. She overheard some snippets of their conversation:

“Yeah, but come on, she can’t possibly be sane if that’s the case.”

“Now dear, he has a lot to give. He’s never been the same since his divorce.”

“You never knew him before the divorce.”

“I know these things. And he’s so charming.”

“I don’t see it. At all.”

Annie looked back and forth between them, noting Jeff was busy rubbing Hank’s hears while he talked.

He continued, “Maybe this will work to my advantage and I can get them both off my back. Hell yes, I’ll even play matchmaker.”

Annie watched as he rolled his eyes before stifling another laugh.

She cleared her throat, “Hi guys. What’s going on?”

They both looked up and smirked. She noted their expressions were virtually identical.

At their silence, she said, “Sophie’s all tucked in. I told Abed and Troy to only read her two stories. I think it’ll be okay.”

Jeff scrunched up his face. “They’re really going to stay in there with her all night?”

Annie grinned as she plopped down on a chair. “They are. She loves it. Isn’t that sweet?”

“I hope they all get some sleep.”

She shrugged. “I’ll check on them later to make sure.”

“No, I’ll do that, Annie.”

There was a tap at the front door. Jeff frowned, wondering who was knocking when there was a doorbell. Although, he thought, at least the sound was unlikely to wake up the kids.   As he rose to answer it, Dorie jumped up and placed a hand on his shoulder, ushering him to sit back down.

“It’s my house, dear. I’ll get it.”

She swiftly left the room. Annie and Jeff heard her open the door and then some murmurings. She then closed the door, padded off to the kitchen, and within a minute returned with a covered plate of food. She reopened the door.

Jeff and Annie leaned over to catch a glimpse of her as she went outside and shut the door behind her.

“Now what the hell is she doing?”

Annie shrugged. “A neighbor?”

Jeff frowned. “No. Dammit.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I hope I’m wrong on this, but…”

He stopped as Dorie re-entered the house and closed the door, her hands empty. She nonchalantly sat back down, picked up a large stuffed alligator, and mused, “Sophie certainly received some interesting presents this year.”

Jeff opened his mouth as if about to say something and then shut it.

Annie sat still and was very confused. 

**************************

“God, I can’t believe we watched Die Hard. What if Abed finds out?”

Annie curled into Jeff’s side on the couch, his arm draped over her while he exaggerated a yawn. She smiled knowingly at him before she replied to Britta’s question, “Maybe we don’t tell him? Or we could re-watch it with him tomorrow morning?”

Britta looked up at Annie from her spot sitting cross-legged on the living room floor. “Okay, I may not know much about kids, but Sophie can’t watch that movie, right?”

Annie placed a hand near her mouth in embarrassment. “Oh!”

Britta rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you forgot you had a kid.”

Jeff mumbled, his eyes half-closed, “It’s easy to get confused. There are three children upstairs, hopefully sound asleep. It’s maddening remembering whose are whose.”

Britta snorted as she clutched a throw pillow on her lap. Ian leaned across her to grab some popcorn from the bowl on her left. She shifted slightly to allow his reach, blushing before poking him in the ribs so that he would move away.

Jeff continued sleepily, “I think you and Ian should take custody of Troy and Abed. Or you could split them up, but that might be extremely unwise.”

“You could take them. They make good companions for Sophie and then my cats and I could have the entire apartment to ourselves.”

“Annie and I are not taking care of three children. That would be insane. Which if we’re discussing sanity, then they’d be more of your domain since you’re like trying to be a shrinky dink something.”

“That kind of got away from you.”

“I’m not on my game. I think we should all go to bed.”

Annie giggled. “Jeff, you should tell Ian and Britta what we are thinking of doing.”

Without hesitation he said, “No.”

Annie continued to laugh as she turned to address Ian and Britta. She clapped her hands together and did a little bounce. “We’re going to get a dog!”

Britta’s mouth fell open as she smacked the throw pillow against Jeff’s outstretched leg. “No way!”

Ian raised his eyebrows as he continued to munch on his popcorn. He busied himself with gently pulling Hansel to his side. The cat readily cuddled against him.

Britta grinned at Annie. “Hey, that’s awesome!” Her eyes suddenly widened as she turned her whole body to face them, recrossing her legs as she said, “Oooohh….let me help you guys find one! My animal shelter tends to get mostly cats, but they’re some really cute dogs here and there.”

Annie nudged Jeff. “Won’t that be great? Britta can help us find a good dog for Sophie.”

Jeff began to close his eyes. “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Britta prattled on, “I’m so happy for you guys. And Sophie will just love one. I’ve been watching her with Dorie’s pets.” Britta paused as she spied Houston slinking behind the side table. She then continued, “but if you’re going to get a large dog like Hank, you’ll need to get a new car, Jeff. I don’t think your Lexus is going to be very practical.” She paused for dramatic effect before she added, “I suggest a minivan.”

He retorted sardonically, “Ha ha. You are so droll, Britta. Droll.”

She stuck out her tongue and then said, “No, seriously, jerkwad, if you get a large dog you’re going to need a bigger car. You can’t fit both Sophie’s carseat and a dog of Hank's size in your precious vehicle. And I seriously doubt you’d want doggy hair all over your baby anyway. And by baby I’m not talking about Sophie.”

Annie felt Jeff tense and she turned to look up at his now opened eyes.

“Crap. You’re right.”

With a nod of smugness, Britta kicked at his outstretched foot with hers. “I’m tired. Move. You’re sitting on my bed.”

Annie patted his arm. “Let’s go to bed. We can talk about this later.”

“Yeah.”

They said goodnight to Britta and Ian, Annie taking a few moments to pull Britta aside for a chat. Jeff took a deep breath and then motioned Ian to follow him into the den.

He closed the door and turned to face Ian, who was looking at him with skepticism.

“What is it?”

Jeff put his hands in his pockets and looked up at the ceiling. “Christ. Okay.”

“Hm?”

He looked back down at Ian, noticing for the first time he was holding and petting Hansel. He shrugged off this observation and decided to get straight to the point. He cleared his throat and said, “Me and Britta. Big mistake. We both knew it immediately, we both moved on. We’re just friends. We will always be just friends. I view her as an annoying little sister.”

Ian raised his eyebrows. “Ooookay.”

“There. Are we cool?”

Ian gave a brisk nod. “Understood.” He then stepped closer to Jeff and looked up at him with wide brown eyes. “That’s really lovely of you, Winger. Abed said you demonstrated solid emotional growth today, but I must say as much as I normally discount anything that weirdo says, I completely agree with him.”

Jeff rolled his eyes and took one step back. “Don’t read into it.”

“Your words are those of a true friend.”

“God. Stop.”

“It’s true.”

***********************

A few minutes later, Annie and Jeff peeked into Sophie’s room and spied the peacefully slumbering trio. Sophie was holding her bear, a thumb in her mouth and drool on her pillow. Jeff knelt and pulled up her blanket so that it was higher on her chest.   As he stood, he exchanged an amused look with Annie. They took in the sight of Troy’s arms wrapped around Abed as they both lay in their separate sleeping bags. The pink hoodie was draped over the armchair nearby.

They quietly exited and got ready for bed. As they lay down, Annie studied Jeff’s face and said, “Maybe we could get a smaller dog? We don’t have a lot of space at the apartment.”

He groaned, his arm draped over his eyes. “But Charlie was a golden retriever. Like Hank, only not nearly as strange.”

“I know. But we have to be practical. And Britta’s right. You don’t want to mess up the Lexus.”

“There are cheese puffs and cheerios all over the Lexus as we speak.”

She giggled. “That’s true. Does that drive you crazy?”

“Yeah, it’s a deal breaker.”

He suddenly tensed and threw his arm off his face and onto the pillow. “Crap. You know I didn’t mean that. I was just joking.”

Annie raised herself on her arm and looked at him with concern. “Of course I know you were joking. It’s your famous Winger sarcasm.”

He let out a breath. “Oh, good.”

She began running her hand lightly over his grey t-shirt. “I’m so happy you were honest with your family today.”

“Yeah, me too. Thanks for being so supportive. And for the hand squeezes. It helped.”

She tilted her head and opened her eyes wide. “Seeing you so brave…” she smiled softly and added, “I didn’t think it was possible, but I love you even more now.”

He turned on his side and pressed his forehead to hers.

She began moving her hand down the front of his shirt. He reached for her hand and stopped her.

“Not with Ian and Britta downstairs and our three children in the very next room. Oh yeah, and my mom down the hall.”

She placed a kiss on his jaw.” Don’t think about it. I locked the door, and we can be quiet.”

“Annie….”

She fluttered her eyelashes. “You’re so brave.”

He was done putting up any semblance of resistance.

“That’s true, I am.”

They nestled in for a long winter’s _nap_. 

******************************

The next day came soon enough. At the crack of dawn, to be exact.

“Troy and Abed and Sophie in the morning!”

“Holy crap.”

 


	23. The Darkest Timeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the events that transpired following Trobed’s ill-fated housewarming party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I’ve received numerous requests for this, here is a glimpse into the Darkest Timeline. 
> 
> Recap of the Darkest Timeline (Ch. 13): Jeff, oblivious to Annie’s actual reasons for turning down his proposal, flew into self-protection mode and let out a series of insecurities about their relationship. Everything became dramatic, Annie called him an ass, and then Pierce had a heart attack. The situation cumulated in an inadvertently Britta-induced Serbian rum fire, with Jeff attempting to put out the blaze, Shirley attending to Pierce, and Troy screaming.
> 
> Abed likely observed and took some mental notes.

“So that happened.” Jeff groaned from his hospital bed, reaching for what Abed was now referring to as his ‘phantom limb.’

Annie wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and leaned her head down to his. “I love you.”

“What a clusterfuck.”

She reached across his body for his left hand. As she began to wrap her fingers around his, he pulled it away. She raised her head and looked at him with a soft smile. “Everything will be okay. We’ll get through this.”

He closed his eyes and winced.

“Are you in pain? I’ll get the nurse.”

Opening his eyes, he said in a gravely voice, “I’m fine. It’s just…you don’t need to be here. I’m sure Pierce could use some company.”

“Shirley’s with him. They say it’s touch and go, but he has a chance.”

“Troy?”

“Abed spent the night in his room. They scheduled more surgery for tomorrow.”

“Is Britta strangely still all right? She might be more frazzled than you think. You should check on her.”

Annie frowned. “I’m not going anywhere. Why are you trying to get rid of me?”

He looked at her with a sadness she hadn’t seen before. “It’s okay, Annie. Look, we gave it a shot. Hell, I’ve never tried for anything more in my life.”

“Jeff?”

He let out a low bitter laugh. “I get it. I’m not who you would have chosen, if you had been given a fair shot at life. I’m old, I’m a liar, and I’m not nearly as smart as you are. You’re young enough, you still have time. You can find someone better. Don’t sell yourself short. No hard feelings.”

She narrowed her eyes and lightly smacked his chest.

“Ouch!”

“What the hell is wrong with you? You want to break up?”

He sighed. “We have to face the facts, Annie. It’s not working.”

Her eyes widening in an almost-panic, she asked, “What about Sophie? How can you do this to her?”

Jeff startled and pushed himself up slightly in the bed with another wince. “Crap, I hope you know I’m not abandoning her. That would just kill me. Please.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“Look, I’m not going anywhere. Hell, I have a limited amount of limbs right now. I’ll be slow moving….hey, ouch! Stop hitting me!”

“What the hell, Jeff?”

“What I’m saying is I don’t expect you to take care of me. You made it perfectly clear you don’t want to marry me, that you don’t see a future with us. You don’t see me as Sophie’s actual father. And I totally understand that, I do…”

\--“Jeff, please, listen to me, I …”

\--“Let me finish. As I’ve been lying here, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. It’s all I can really do. You told me this morning you’re not pregnant. Okay, so that’s one thing we don’t have to worry about. And I hope you know there’s no way I’m kicking you and Sophie out. You guys can live with me as long as you need to. And obviously, we both go to Greendale. I don’t know how this missing limb thing is going to be, but I fully intend to finish my degree. And like I said, I’d still like to be part of Sophie’s life, if that’s okay with you. I know I don’t have enough arms to do much, but I can probably still pick her up, I can play with her. If you need a babysitter, or maybe I could come visit, I….”

Annie slammed her hand over his mouth. “Will you listen to me, please?”

“Mmmmpf.”

She took her hand off his mouth and looked at him with determination.

With wide eyes, he gave a nod.

She cleared her throat and then said, “You are an idiot. I don’t want to break up with you. I don’t know where you got that impression. And I don’t want to get into half the asinine things you said at the party. I only want to say that you’re _wrong_. I love you. Sophie loves you. We need you. We both want to keep our family together.”

“Annie…”

“And I’m taking care of you. You can’t lawyer your way out of this one.” 

*****************************

Dorie patted Jeff’s leg and looked at him sternly. “Annie told me you two had another fight.”

Jeff groaned and shifted in the hospital bed. “She was doing that thing she does again. The pitying.”

“Jeffrey, you’re being ridiculous. That girl loves you.”

“But I need another surgery. That’ll be the third one. She should move on with her life. Find someone better.”

Dorie studied his sulking face. She sighed deeply. “She told me about what happened, you know. About what was said before the accident.”

He closed his eyes. “Christ, she shouldn’t have done that.”

“She’s desperate, dear. She was almost hysterical. She told me you’ve been kicking her out of your room and will only talk to Abed and Shirley.”

Jeff opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Well, I can’t talk to Troy. Or shall we say, he can’t talk to me. Ha ha.”

Dorie shook her head. “I’m going to ignore that. I just visited that poor boy. They’re fitting him with some sort of artificial voice box. Abed’s in pretty good spirits about it.”

Jeff droned on, “Oh, and I can’t talk to Pierce. He’s unconscious again. And forget Britta, I hate her. Blue hair, my ass.”

Dorie pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “You won’t even let Sophie visit. She’s been asking about you. She’s still living with me, you know. The poor dear is confused.”

“I don’t want her to see me like this. It’ll scare her.”

She looked at him with a mixture of worry and frustration. 

“You know, Annie didn’t turn down your proposal because she doesn’t want to be with you or that she thinks you’re not good enough for Sophie.”

“Hm?”

“She thinks you don’t want her. And I must say, you’re not doing a great job of convincing her otherwise.” 

***********************

“Lord, that man may be vile most of the time, but I’m glad he’ll live.”

To his surprise, Jeff breathed a sigh of relief. His mouth formed a crooked smile as he repositioned his body in the hospital bed so that he could address Shirley, “That’s great. I’m now happy to say that the housewarming party did not kill anyone. Hooray.”

Shirley nodded and jerked her head toward his back. He sighed and sat up slightly so that she could reach behind and fluff his pillow. “Yes, Jeffrey, it’s good news indeed, and while not everyone is out of the woods, we can hopefully all get back to normal very soon.” As she replaced the pillow, she cast a surreptitious look at his upper right arm.

He noticed.

“Shirley, there will be no _normal_ again. Pierce will need rehab and might not be able to return to Greendale, Troy can’t speak, and well, I’m…”

\---“You need to stop this nonsense. I met your mother, you know. She’s a fine woman. She and I both want to slap you upside the head.” 

*************************

“He _hates_ me. He doesn’t want to be with me anymore.” Annie buried her face into Britta’s lap and began to sob once again.

Britta ran her hand over Annie’s hair. “You guys will be fine. He’s crazy in love with you.”

Annie sniffled. “No, he’s not. He just _thought_ he was. No one ever wants to be with me. Not my parents, not boys, no one. There must be something wrong with me.”

Britta grimaced as Annie continued to cry.  

“And he thought I didn’t want to have his baby. Why would he think that? It was only the timing thing, I didn’t know if we could handle it. And I didn’t want him to feel stuck with me.”

“Annie, he bought a ring. He did that before he knew about your freakout.”

Annie sat up and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “He said he wanted to adopt Sophie.”

“Do you want him to do that?”

Annie tooka deep breath before she responded, “As I told him, it’s not that simple. But yes, of course I want him to still be her daddy. And I would want to marry him if I knew he believed in marriage, that he wanted to make a formal commitment to me. But if it’s just because it’s something he thinks he needs to do or only because of Sophie, I don’t know, I know it sounds really stupid, but I think I’d always feel kind of disappointed.”

Britta nodded. “I get it. I mean, I don’t believe in marriage, but clearly you do. And you’re right, if you’re going to get married, you want the two of you to at least be on the same page as to why.”

“Right.”

“But I guess I don’t see how this changes anything, for you two being together. You guys love each other. So, don’t get married. Just stay together. That’ll be enough.”

“That’s what I thought when Jeff was going through his second surgery. But now he won’t even let me in his room. I don’t think I can force anything. I can’t convince him that I love him.” 

**************************

Britta looked across at Abed in the hospital waiting room. “What are you doing?”

Abed glanced at her before resuming cutting out various shapes from the black felt. “I’m afraid this is the darkest timeline. I have to make preparations.”

“Darkest what?”

He looked up at her and gave a curt nod. “The darkest timeline. I don’t think Annie and Jeff are going to make it. They’ll break up. The Pink Avenger will spiral into a world of darkness and likely become a supervillian. I fear we have no choice but to join her and all become evil.”

“You know what, I’m going to go sit with Troy.”

As she rose, Abed tossed her a spray can.

“What’s this?”

“I thought you might want to feel included.” 

****************************

“So, I’m moving in with Pierce.”

Jeff turned his head on the pillow to face Annie. “The hell now, what?!?”

Annie turned on her megawatt smile but avoided his gaze and looked out the hospital window. “He needs someone to check on him. He’ll have a live-in nurse of course, but he needs the company. And Sophie adores him. Obviously, I can’t have her stay with your mom anymore if we’re not really together. Pierce says we can have our own rooms in the east wing. And I guess I don’t feel we’ll be taking advantage since he’s ill. It just feels like the right thing to do.”

Jeff’s voice rose, “Hey, you can’t just move out. And my mom is Sophie’s _grandmother_. You can’t just…”

Annie turned back to him, a tear falling down her cheek. She laughed nervously, “This is for the best. And of course your mom can still see Sophie. I just feel bad imposing on her like this.”

Jeff winced as he motioned for Annie to help him sit up. As she did so, he said in a low gravely voice, “I don’t want you guys to move out. Please.”

She nodded and squeezed his left hand. Gulping down a sob, she said, “I don’t want to either. But you’ve been pretty clear you don’t see a future for us, _together_. And um, of course you can still see Sophie. She’ll like that. But we can figure that out when you’re feeling better. Ian says he can move in with you for a little while. He doesn’t mind, really, since he’s had it living with Chang.”

“Annie, I love you. Please.”

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t want to break up. I’m such an idiot.”

“Well, I don’t want to break up with you.”

“Then let’s not break up.”

“Okay.” 

******************************

Annie sighed as she snuggled into Jeff’s side in the hospital bed. “Without your arm, there’s more room for me.”

“Ha ha.”

She craned her neck so that she could meet his gaze. “I’m sorry. You said you wanted to joke about it some more.”

He let out a low chuckle. “Yeah, no, it’s fine.” He placed a kiss on her forehead.

She frowned. “How are you feeling? They put you on some strong pain relievers last night.”

“Oh, I’m peachy.” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down as he asked, “Hey, would you mind reaching into the drawer of the side table and getting something? I told Abed to put it in there. I hope he did.”

Annie arched a brow and paused to study his inscrutable face before she leaned over and opened the drawer. She reached inside and pulled out the infamous black jewelry box.

“Jeff.”

“Open it.”

She took in a quick breath and lifted the lid to reveal the diamond ring.

“Marry me? For reals?”

“Jeff….”

“This isn’t a panic proposal. Let’s do it. I love you, you love me, it’s good.”

“But you don’t believe in marriage.”

“I believe in anything if it involves _you_.”

Tears welling in her eyes, Annie nodded and took out the ring. Jeff quickly reached across and grabbed it from her. She held out her left hand, and he slid the ring onto her finger.

She gulped down a sob as she answered, “Yes. I’ll marry you.”

“Booyah.” 

*******************************

“How the fuck did I end up moving in with Pierce? He has a nurse, he doesn’t need _me_.”

“Now Professor Duncan, you know I have my babies to take care of, Britta needs to help Abed with Troy since he’s being discharged soon, and sweet Annie will be staying with Jeffrey, as the Lord intended. And a nurse is no substitute for companionship. And you said you hated Chang.”

“Right.”

“And you’ll have a pool and sauna.”

“And booze?”

“He has a fully-stocked bar.”

“I want my own wing.” 

********************************

“Why won’t they let me see Jeffrey? I thought he went through all his surgeries, and I wanted to cheer him up.”

Britta shoved the Dean over toward the corner of the waiting room and took the large gift basket from him. “He’s in recovery.”

The Dean turned to her and narrowed his eyes. “He was in recovery _yesterday_. I heard he had visitors this morning and was in good spirits.”

“He’s _busy_.”

The Dean placed one hand on his chest. “Is he _mad_ at me? What did I do?!?”

Britta rolled her eyes. “He’s not mad at you. Annie’s in with him. She expressly asked that they not be disturbed.”

“Oh.” The Dean hunched forward with a frown. 

************************************

“Okay, this is hot.”

Anne smiled down at Jeff as she slid underneath the covers. She leaned in and gave him a tender kiss with more than a little bit of tongue.

“Mmmmmm.” He smiled as she pulled back.

She then ground into him.

“Oh, God, Annie.”

She reached a little lower and began fumbling with her skirt. She muttered, “Hold still. I’ll figure this out.”

Between gasps, he asked, “Are you sure you want to do this here? We could wait until we’re home in a couple days.”

She leaned in and began kissing him again as she continued to press against him. “We only have a short window. I’m ovulating.” She paused before she added, “And I have Abed guarding the door. He didn’t ask any questions.”

Jeff’s eyebrows rose. “And you’re sure your doctor said it was okay? You just had the thingy removed, and I’m not sure…”

She stopped her kisses and looked at him with seriousness. “It’s fine. She said I could get pregnant right away. That’s the beauty of the whole thing. We don’t have to wait.”

“But the hospital.”

“You said it was _hot._ ”

“Well…”

Her mouth formed a mock pout. “And we said we weren’t going to waste any more time being silly. Bad things can happen at anytime. And I almost lost you to a crazy stupid fire. And we almost lost _us_.”

He reached up with his left hand and wiped a tear falling down her cheek. “Okay. Let’s make a baby.” 

****************************

The Greendale Seven regarded each other as they sat around the study room table. Pierce wheeled his chair back slightly so that there was more room for his knees. Troy scuttled his chair to the side, closer to Abed.

Abed noted his friends’ faces. Although he tended to have difficulty in discerning emotion, he had been getting better at it over the past couple years. He certainly had improved in being able to discern differences in the group’s expressions and moods.

He knew Troy was doing okay. Although Troy was technically voiceless these days, they had discussed the situation and both come to the conclusion that it was pretty cool Troy was now part robot. And they could still conduct their handshake and do all the fun things they always did. And Troy could still give him nice hugs.

Although Shirley had flirted with the idea of resuming her intake of no-no juice, she had quickly pushed the bottle aside once she knew Pierce needed someone by his side. She had even stopped grumbling about his racist tendencies and stated it was up to the Lord if he were to survive. Abed may have caught her crying in the hospital chapel once or twice.

Pierce took out his heart medication bottle and popped a pill. He gave a nod out the window to Professor Duncan, who waived and then shuffled off down the hallway. Pierce then smiled sweetly across the table at Sophie.

Abed’s gaze swooped to the Pink Avenger, who sat in her booster seat between her parents. She grinned at him and then placed her bear on the table.

With a smirk, Jeff reached over with his left arm and turned the bear to face her. She giggled.

Annie eyes sparkled as she watched the interplay. A beam of light from overhead bounced off her ring.

Britta, twirling her blue strand of hair, remarked, “Wow, Annie, that thing’s kind of flashy, isn’t it?”

Annie tilted her head and sighed. “We’ve been over this. I know you don’t approve of diamonds. But _Jeff_ got this for me, and I love it.”

“Fine.”

“And you’re _so_ being one of my bridesmaids!”

Annie clapped her hands together and bounced in her seat.

“Annie! Oh my god, you _can’t_! I _won’t_!”

Shirley chuckled.

Annie turned to her. “Oh, you are too, Shirley! Please?”

Shirley grinned. “I would be delighted. I’m so happy you and Jeffrey are taking this step. Lord, I had visions that you two would live in sin forever. And goodness knows Sophie deserves to have her parents married.”

Annie cast a look at Jeff, who raised his head slightly from his bear maneuvers and gave her a small smile.

He said, “I don’t think she really cares, Shirley, but thank you. And you’ll be relieved to know her little brother or sister will be born in wedlock.”

Shirley exchanged surprised looks with Britta and gasped. She turned to Annie. “Honey, are you…”

Annie squealed, “Yes! I mean, it’s still pretty early, but we wanted you all to know!”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!”

“My god, the jackass is breeding.”

“Bite me. And thanks for congratulating us, Smurfhead.”

“Shut up. Annie, congratulations.”

A robotic voice warbled, “You guys, this is so amazing! I never cry, but…”

“Well Jeffrey, I guess I’ll have to include you in the portraits as well. You can stand next to me.”

“The hell now, what Pierce?”

Abed suddenly stood and tossed his scissors on the table. He leaned over and shoved a large piece of black felt onto the floor. “Enough! This is all _wrong_! How are we supposed to be evil now? Everyone’s happy. I can’t see how the Pink Avenger will have her evil origin story. I don’t understand how this happened.”

_“Bed! Id okay! You pay wid bah?”_

There was a motioning of a stuffed bear toward Abed. Jeff sighed and shoved it across the table.

Abed sat back down and accepted the bear. With an edge of disappointment in his voice, he remarked, “So this is the darkest timeline. I wonder why it didn’t get that dark.” He studied Sophie from his seat.

Annie clasped her hands together on the table and smiled. “Abed, I wouldn’t want my daughter being a part of any darkest timeline. So if this is the darkest, then err, I guess that’s fine. So please don’t be sad.”

Abed continued to study Sophie while absentmindedly petting the stuffed bear. Appearing to address Sophie, he said, “I see. You won’t let it get too dark. I’m onto you.”

Giggles as Sophie reached toward her mother.

Annie pushed back her chair and stood. She leaned over and unbuckled and picked up Sophie, hoisting her to one side. “There sweetie, Mommy has you.”

Britta folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair. “God. Soon you’ll have two of them. And the next one might have his pointy nose.”

Abed eyes shifted back and forth as he frowned.

Jeff smiled sappily over at Annie as Britta rolled her eyes.

Abed eyes moved toward Annie’s still defined waist. His face lit up. Slamming his fist on the table, he exclaimed, “Of course! The monobrow! The true evil has not yet entered the timeline!”

An irritated Jeff raised his hand and made the shooshing gesture.

Troy leaned toward Abed with a questioning look.

Abed whispered to him, “There is such a thing as an _evil baby_.”

There was a warbled, “Dude.”

Abed leaned over and grabbed the fabric off the floor. He surreptitiously picked up the scissors and cut out a tiny piece of black felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the prime timeline next chapter. ;)


	24. Delayed Gratification

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff is flustered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the prime timeline.
> 
> Just a little bit of fluff before we get to some slightly angsty bits (no worries, dear readers, it’ll all be okay).
> 
> Actually, upon further reflection, there’s a fairly large amount of fluff in this chapter. Make sure you haven’t had too many holiday desserts.

The knock couldn’t have come soon enough. Jeff adjusted the squirming and softly sobbing creature in his arms and strode toward the apartment door. Flinging it open, he startled at the site of Britta, sunglasses slipping off her nose and holding a cup of coffee. His eyes skimmed down her dark blue winter coat, noticing that it was unevenly buttoned.

“What the hell are you doing here? I called Troy.”

Britta scowled at him over her sunglasses, her eyes widening at the sight of the baby, who was dressed in orange overalls and a teddy bear onesie.

“Whoa. Since when did you and Annie have another one? I just saw you at Christmas*.” She made a dramatic gesture of lifting her free arm toward her face and squinting at her non-existent watch. She mumbled, “It’s only December 30th.”

He let out a sigh and began to move back and forth so that the baby would calm down. To his surprise, he noticed the kid seemed to be intrigued by Britta and stopped whining.

Britta studied the baby’s face, pronouncing, “It’s cute. It looks familiar.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Why are you here?”

As he frowned at her, he was startled by a squeal followed by a banging sound from Sophie’s room.

“Crap, here, come in. I have to go check on them.” He turned and made his way quickly down the hallway.

Shutting the door behind her, Britta called after him, “Troy couldn’t come. Abed needed his help with a shoot at the school. So we thought I could babysit Sophie instead.”

She placed her coffee cup and sunglasses on the kitchen counter and unbuttoned her coat before taking it off and flinging it on a barstool. As she contemplated the feasibility of continuing to drink her coffee while watching Sophie and a mysterious baby - _that she was seriously miffed no one told her about in advance_ \- she spotted a framed picture on the counter of Sophie sitting on a shopping mall Santa’s lap. Britta bent down to examine it more closely and tensed in disapproval, noting Sophie’s red cheeks and tears.

She shouted, “You shouldn’t teach her to sit on old men’s laps and ask for gifts! That guy isn’t even Professor Duncan!”

“Whaat?!? I’m a little busy!”

She frowned at a strange looking crumpled paper napkin oddly propped next to the picture frame, noticing there were purple hearts drawn over several parts of it. Along with some words. She squinted.

_Jeffy?_

She shook herself, straightened up, and marched down the hallway.

“You didn’t answer my question where the baby came from. I don’t do babies!”

She stopped as she almost slammed into Jeff’s back at the entrance to Sophie’s room. Cranking her neck so that she could see past him, she spied Sophie and a slightly older blonde boy smacking on the plastic drum set she had given Sophie for Christmas.

She smiled in satisfaction.

Jeff closed his eyes while leaning one hand against the doorframe, a now crying baby in the other. He said in a firm tone, “Kids! Please do something more quiet. Sam, can you please show her the book your mommy brought with you?”

_“No, I don’t like that book. I like these drums.”_

“Or you guys can watch a movie. Aunt Britta can supervise.”

At his words, Sophie immediately lifted her face up and squealed.

Britta waived her hand at her.

_“Tit-ta! Tit-ta here! Yay!”_

Britta ducked under Jeff’s arm, adeptly transitioning to a crawling position and joining the kids on the floor. She gave Sophie a hug and then smiled politely at Sam.

“Hi guys.” She frowned for a moment before the connection seemed to dawn on her. She snapped her head up to meet Jeff’s eyes. “Oh, hey, now I know where the baby came from.” She then scowled. “You didn’t say I’d have to babysit _three_ kids.”

Jeff bounced Braden in his arms in a weak attempt to quiet him down. He explained, “I asked for _Troy_. And I just needed his help to watch these two so that I can take care of this situation.” He motioned his head toward the baby.

Britta furrowed her brow. “Where’s Annie? And their parents?”

“Annie went out with Holly. Their father, I have no clue.” He lowered his voice and then said, “Err, since you’re here, would you mind? I have a situation.”

“Well, um, yeah, sure. As long as I don’t have to watch the baby.”

“Thanks.” He turned, placed the baby on the dresser that doubled as a changing table, strapped him in, and then grabbed a diaper bag lying on the floor.

Britta took a moment to take in the clumsiness of his maneuvers. Aware she was witnessing a likely rare dent in the perfected Winger suave persona, she couldn’t resist commenting, “You need me to watch these two while you do that? Come on Jeff, they’re fine. I’m sure….”

\--“Watch them. Trust me.”

She turned back to see Sam on all fours, Sophie attempting to climb onto his back.

 _“Do id. Puth Fee. Fee ged id.”_ Wobbling to her feet on his back, Sophie reached toward the top of the bookshelf.

Britta’s eyes widened and she lunged forward, quickly grabbing Sophie before she fell.

“And now you understand.” 

*******************************

Britta spied Jeff opening the fridge, Braden balanced in one arm facing outward while he perused the food selection.

He glanced over at her in irritation. “I said watch them. They’re sneaky.”

“I have them coloring something for me. I’ll go back in there in a sec. And Sophie wanted me to refill her sippy cup.”

“As long as they don’t color on her walls.” He frowned and then pulled out a tub of applesauce and tossed it on the counter. He muttered, “They’re gonna get hungry soon. Hungry munchkins get cranky.”

“Jeff, you’re being a tad dramatic, don’t you think? I think they’re actually pretty well-behaved. You’re the one who’s cranky.”

He abruptly turned to face her with a steeled expression. “Did you know this morning the hobmonster melted down when we tried to put on her mittens because she didn’t want her thumb to be separated from her other fingers? This is the type of stuff I’m talking about, something of which you have _no clue_. I don’t think she ate enough for breakfast.”

Britta moved over to the sink and unscrewed the cap of the bottle. She began to fill it and mused, “You’ve been positively unflappable with Sophie when I’ve seen you with her lately. It’s nice to know even perfect Jeff Winger can get flustered.”

He huffed. “I can handle one hobbit. But now there are _three_ of them, and one is a baby.”

She laughed. “God, I can’t believe they left you with all of them.”

He reached into the cupboard and pulled out a jar of peanut butter and loaf of bread, placing one and then the other on the counter as he continued to hold onto a wiggling Braden. He stated with an edge in his voice, “It happened so fast. Trust me, this was not my call. Annie and I were originally going to drop the hobster off with Nancy so that we could study. But I guess that plan’s shot to hell.” He scowled at the loaf of bread before reaching to open a drawer and pull out a knife.

“Study? We’re on winter break.”

He leaned over and grabbed a banana, stopping to regard it for a moment before using his teeth to pull down the top part.

Braden began to make loud shrieks of interest.

Britta shook her head and then reached over to grab the banana, quickly peeling it before handing it back to him.

With a wearied sigh, he placed the banana on the counter and took the knife and began chopping it into tiny pieces. He explained, “You know how Annie is. She likes to get an early start on the semester, and since we’re doing the second half of biology, she made an outline.”

Britta nodded as she screwed on the bottle top. “So you’re becoming all _studious_ too? That sounds like a load of crap.”

“Shut up.”

In preparation for sticking out her tongue at him, she lifted her gaze from the bottle. She was taken aback at the sight of Jeff giving Braden a quick kiss on the cheek. He was intent on pressing pieces of banana onto slices of bread and seemed oblivious to her stare.

Instead of making her usual snarky comment, she said, “That’s nice of you to help. I’m sure their mom appreciates it.”

“Whatever.”

She shrugged and began to walk back toward Sophie’s room.

Halfway down the hallway, she heard him call out.

“Hey Britta?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for coming over and helping.”

“Sure. Hey, you’re paying me, right? Jelly Baby had an unexpected vet bill. He got sick after he ate one of Abed’s Jelly Babies. I could really use the cash.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Cool. Cool. Cool.” 

******************************

Holly zipped Sam’s coat and then stood to hug Annie one last time. She let out a loud breath before she exclaimed, “Thank you. I’m so sorry we just showed up like that.”

Annie smiled in understanding. “It’s fine. I’m glad we could talk.”

Holly nodded and then turned to Jeff. She almost forcefully moved the arms that were crossed over his chest and gave him a hug. “And thank _you_.” Pulling out of the embrace, she studied his face. “God, Jeff, who ever would have thought? I think the kids had a good time with you.”

He rolled his eyes and recrossed his arms. “Yeah, um, sure. And Britta did more.”

“She told me you looked after Braden and made Sam lunch. Really, thank you so much. I appreciate it.”

He gave a nod before shifting his gaze down to Sophie and picking her up. “Say goodbye to Sam and Braden.”

Sophie waived. _“Bye Bye.”_

After Holly and the kids left, Annie turned to Jeff and Britta and was about to say something when Jeff said, “Hey, munchkin, let’s go clean up your room. Maybe we’ll put those drums in a _very special_ place.”

_“Okay, Daddy.”_

He arched a brow at Annie and then turned to carry Sophie off down the hall.

Annie shook her head and let out a low laugh. “Thanks so much, Britta. We were kind of in a scramble. I suggested he call Troy, but I’m glad you could fill in.” Her eyes suddenly widened and she added, “Um, not that I meant I didn’t think of you, but I thought you might not want to help out with three kids. I figured Troy wouldn’t mind.”

Britta shrugged. “No biggie. But Sophie and Sam were fine, and Jeff, despite his protests, did a really good job with the other one. He’s like maturing or something.” She frowned for a moment as she added, “Of course at one point he tried to hand me the baby upside down, but I told him I don’t do babies.”

Annie gazed down the hallway and grinned. “I’m really proud of him.”

Britta rambled on, “Speaking of babies, I hope it was okay the kids put a fake mustache on Braden.”

“That’s fine.”

She continued, “Whatever you do, don’t ever let Abed see a baby with a mustache. I put one on my cat and he flipped the fuck out.”

Annie nodded absentmindedly as she continued to look down the hallway. “He just volunteered to watch them. He didn’t even hesitate, and it was his idea that Holly and I go out to talk. He’s really sweet.”

Britta smacked Annie in the arm and let out a gasp. “He _volunteered_? That’s not how he presented it to me.”

Annie rolled her eyes and playfully returned Britta’s smack. “He _is_ mature. He just tends to be immature around _you_.”

“And the rest of Greendale.”

Annie pshawed and made her way in to the living room. She took a few moments to scan the room critically before her eye caught Nathan half wedged under the coffee table. She crouched down and reached underneath it. “Don’t tell him I told you he’s a sweetie.”

Britta nodded to herself and glanced about the room, taking in the evolving décor. On each visit she had noticed more pictures and accents, which tended to give the place a homier feel. This time she was taken aback by the tall artificial Christmas tree in the corner, decorated with gobs of ornaments and a scribbled paper pink star on top. On the adjacent table was a large silver menorah.

She wondered if she even knew Jeff Winger at all these days.

She mused out loud, “What’s really funny is that he kept grumbling about how you and he were supposed to be _studying_. Isn’t that hilarious?”

Annie stilled from her spot on the floor and let out a little squeak.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. You know what Britta, you’ve done a lot for us today. Why don’t I get you your babysitting money? I’ll be right back.” 

****************************

Jeff closed the bedroom door shut behind him. He smirked at Annie, who was sitting cross-legged on the bed, pouring over her textbook with a stack of index cards beside her.

“Need help, milady?”

She glanced up from her book, tapping one of her purple pens to her mouth. With an exaggerated sigh, she replied, “You need to study too. We need to get a head start on the next semester.”

He nodded and walked over to join her. Sitting down carefully so as not to disrupt her pile of cards, he leaned over and placed a kiss on her neck.

“Jeeeff.”

He said in a low voice, “I was really worried we weren’t going to have _study time_ today.”

Without looking up from her book she gently but firmly redirected his hand from where it had begun caressing her hair. “We lost a lot of time today.   Now we just have Sophie’s naptime. It won’t nearly be enough.”

She picked up a card and underlined something on it before replacing it and turning to the next page in the biology book.

He put on his most serious expression and gave a nod. “Right. So, um, what do I do again?”

She let out a long sigh. “What you did last time. And the time before that. Quiz me.” Without looking up, she handed him half the pile of cards and then added, “And then I’ll do you.” She cast him a flirtatious sideways glance before resuming her reading.

“Ah. Right.” He looked down at the cards and gave them a determined shuffle.

She paused with a huff. “Jeff.”

He smirked as he cut the cards. “Hey, we can’t have _practice order_ effects. Ian taught me that, by the way. He says it’s a psychological experimental term or something.”

She lightly touched her neck as a blush crept across her cheeks. “You _are_ taking school seriously.”

Keeping his eyes on the cards while giving them another shuffle, he said, “Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves on that one. I should mention he explained this to me while he was attempting to build a card tower at a back table in the Dirty Cowgirl.”

“Are the cards, um, ready?”

“Just give me a sec.”

“Jeff.”

“Okay.” He looked up and met her gaze. Clearing his throat, he said, “Prepare yourself. I’m going to quiz you now.”

 

X

X

X

 

“Jeff, now it’s my turn to quiz you.”

“Shoot.”

“Paul Smith or Hanro?” 

**************************

Jeff pressed the start button on the food processor, allowing the leafy greens to churn into a pesto sauce.

“Do you want me to give Holly Mark’s number?”

“What?”

“Mark’s number? I assume she needs it. He’ll help her out.”

“I can’t hear what you’re saying. Can you turn that off?”

“Huh?”

“Turn it off!”

“Oh, sorry.” He moved back as Annie reached across him to press the stop button.

She looked up at him in exasperation. “Did you say something about Mark?”

He glanced down at Sophie who had followed Annie into the kitchen. She raised her arms, and he promptly reached down and hoisted her up to his side.

He tried again. “Does Holly need Mark’s number?”

Annie studied his face, noticing one of his carefully crafted nonchalant expressions. She sighed. “I can always give it to her you know. But no, she doesn’t need it.”

He raised his eyebrows and used his free hand to pour out the sauce into a bowl.

_“That yucky, Daddy.”_

“Shhh. You’ll like it.”

_“Id geen. No.”_

Jeff gave Sophie a kiss on her cheek, let go of the spoon, and motioned for the bowl of pasta.

Annie slid it over to him and elaborated, “I ended up giving her Ian’s number. I thought maybe he could suggest a good couples counselor since he had a pretty good recommendation for your therapist.”

Keeping his eyes on the pasta Jeff mumbled, “Are we sure that’s wise? Her husband’s a jerk.”

“Just because someone is behaving _jerkily_ doesn’t mean they’re a _jerk_. I hope they work it out.”

Jeff stilled from his stirring motions. Dropping the spoon into the bowl, he turned to face her. He cast a concerned look at a thumb-sucking Sophie as she rested her head on his shoulder.

He said in an almost whisper, “We have to make sure they’re _safe_.”

Annie arched a brow and said in a low voice, “Safe?”

By ways of answering her, he asked, “What did he do?”

“I don’t understand. He didn’t _do_ anything. They had a fight, they…”

Keeping a steady gaze, he said, “Annie, let me try again. Are Holly and her kids _safe_?”

Annie’s eyes widened in comprehension. She took a step back and nodded rapidly.

“Are you _sure_?”

Annie whispered back, “Yes. It’s nothing like that.”

“She’ll tell you. Please try hard to _listen_.”

Annie gulped and turned to the side, her hands on her hips. “Oh my god, so that’s why you told me to take her to get a drink.”

He explained calmly while walking over to the couch and grabbing the bear for appropriate Sophie distraction, “Of course. Do you think I wanted to be left alone with three kids?!? As you know, she and I are _not close_ , but she’s taken a liking to you, so I figured she’d confide in you if I weren’t hovering and if the kids weren’t shrieking in her face.”

Annie nodded and closed her eyes. “I didn’t realize you thought that.”

He came back over to her and said, “Why the…. heck…wouldn’t I think that? My mom tried to tell this lady once, but then my dad, well, look, nevermind.”

She opened her eyes and smiled at him sadly. Reaching up to touch his cheek, she whispered, “I’m so sorry that happened.”

He looked down as he continued to balance Sophie on his side. “Yeah, um, whatever.” He shifted again and asked, “So are you _sure_?”

She nodded once more. “He’s more disengaged than anything. He doesn’t help with the kids, he leaves to go out drinking, he comes home late. That kind of thing.”

“And when he comes home from drinking…”

\--“He goes to sleep. Basically, she feels he wants out but won’t ask her for a divorce. And she thinks he might be depressed….”

Jeff shook his head and interjected, “That’s bull. A man either does the right thing and takes care of his family or he doesn’t. He either loves his kids or he doesn’t. There are no grey areas here.”

“Jeff, I think you’re being…”

\-- “Don’t you see? This is _exactly_ what happened with my dad. My mom made tons of excuses for him, but really she should have just left. He never wanted me, and Matt doesn’t want his kids.”

“You don’t know that. You had one conversation with him…”

\-- “We need to have Holly talk to Mark. And look, if she needs someplace to stay for a little while, I’ll get that Christmas tree out of here, and she can have the couch. And I’ll go over there and take care of him if she needs help getting out.”

Annie placed her hand firmly on his arm and said resolutely, “She’s fine. It’s a very sad situation, but I believe she would tell me if she were in danger. And I fully support them trying to work it out.”

Jeff found himself almost recoiling but planted his feet firmly on the spot. He said with as much calmness as he could muster, “He doesn’t want to work it out.”

“She has to try. It’s her _family._ ”

“Annie…”

She shook her head and sputtered, “And while I understand that you have a certain way of viewing these situations, not everything can be solved by a lawyer. Not every troubled marriage needs to end in a divorce. Sometimes people can figure these things out. And I’ve had my fair share of people in my family calling it quits over issue _s_ without really _trying_. People are too quick to write people off. And while I understand your own situation was completely different, I think whenever possible, families should _stay together_.”

Jeff was taken aback at the tears now flowing freely down Annie’s cheeks.

_“Mama cry. Mama sad.”_

Annie startled and began to frantically wipe at her face with the back of her hands. “Oh, sweetie, Mama’s fine. I’m so sorry. Here, come here.” She reached outward and Sophie eagerly fell into her arms. Annie kissed her head and looked up guiltily at Jeff.

He immediately reached down and pulled them both into a hug. Exaggerating a lightness in his tone, he said, “Grrrrr….let’s help Mama not be sad. We’re all okay. We’re sticking together.”

He heard Annie whisper,

“Thank you.” 

******************************

_“Mama! Daddy!”_

Jeff walked back into the doorframe and shook his head. “What is it now? I told you to go to bed.”

Sophie looked up at him with wide eyes as she clutched her sippy cup. _“Fee wan wadder.”_

He bent down and shooed her back toward her bed. As he replaced the covers over her and re-tucked her in, he took the sippy cup from her and shook it with a frown, but perhaps also a hint of a smirk.

“It seems pretty full to me.”

_“Id not. Id no wadder. Pease?”_

He nodded. “I see. You know, I can fill this up to the top again, but this is the last time.”

_“Dank you, Daddy.”_

“Um hm. Sure.”

 

X

X

X

 

“Here ya go, munchkin. You will not go thirsty in the night.”

_“Fee wan book.”_

“This is getting ridiculous. We read two books before I put you down the first time.”

_“Pease?”_

“You need to go to sleep.”

_“Pease? Daddy, pease?”_

“Crap. Fine.”

 

X

X

X

 

“Is she singing to herself?”

Annie chuckled from her spot on the couch and flipped the page in her magazine. “She’s so cute.”

Jeff frowned as he glanced toward the hallway. “I told her to go to sleep.”

“She’s trying to go to sleep. Sometimes she sings to herself before she drowses off.”

“Since when?”

Annie appeared to contemplate this for a moment before she answered, “She used to do that when she was a baby. But I’ve heard her do it again recently a couple times. I think it’s a really good strategy, actually. She’s distracting herself from frustration.”

Jeff nodded as he continued to listen. “What is she humming? It sounds oddly familiar, but I can’t make it out.”

Annie shrugged and grinned at him.

He returned her smile and scooted closer. He began to reach for the remote but stopped. “I suppose…”

“You know we can’t turn on the television until she’s out.”

“Right.” He inched closer and then leaned over to place a kiss on her bent knees. “I suppose we have to be super quiet for a little bit.”

“Jeff.”

“Well…” He began to make his way with kisses up her thighs as she straightened out her legs and laughed.

He slowly made his way up to her neck, various soft sighs emitted along the way. 

***************************

Jeff felt the spitty hand touch his face. He opened his eyes and was treated to the sight of a motionless Sophie standing next to their bed with a haunted expression.

He felt his heart lurch in his chest, his sleepy brain trying to catch up with the situation.

“Whhaaa…huh? Munchkin?”

_“Id dak. Fee not seep.”_

He rubbed his eye and let out a long sigh as he continued to lie on his side. He did some quick mental review of his sleeping attire, remembering with relief that he had taken the precautionary measure to don his grey t-shirt and pajama pants before falling off to sleep. Given that after a particularly frustrating night of escalating Sophie stalling tactics, they had compromised and allowed her to keep her door open a crack, _along with theirs_ , he thought it the wise thing to do.

He mumbled, “You’re supposed to be in your room. Remember, even if you can’t sleep, you’re supposed to stay in bed. And there’s your X-7 Dimensionizer nightlight. You’re fine.”

_“Fee wath Daddy seep.”_

“You’re watching me sleep? Crap, how long have you been standing there?”

_“Fee seep wid Daddy und Mama? Pease?”_

“No, that’s not happening. I’m taking you back to your room.”

Another mumbled voice chimed in from the other side of the bed, “Sophie, sweetie? Are you okay?”

_“Mama! Fee scared. Der monstras. Boo-guns come ged Fee.”_

“Oh, sweetie, come here.”

Sophie eagerly ran around to the other side of the bed.

“Annie.”

“Jeff, we can’t let the Blorgons get her. Let’s just let her sleep with us tonight. She’s so scared.”

Annie reached over and pulled Sophie onto the bed.

_“Yah, Daddy.”_

“Fine.”

He closed his eyes but was conscious of the giggling coming from his side as Sophie settled herself in between them.

“There you go, sweetie. You’re safe. We’re all together.”

_“Yah. Fee und Mama und Daddy. Fee fam-ly. All safe.”_

The resulting smile might have been contagious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *If you are interested in Bruncan, please see the Christmas installment of “Poor Judgment” titled “Aftermath.” Includes a bit of Trobed fluff. ☺


	25. Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie does a difficult thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year to all my readers! An extra-long chapter for you.
> 
> May your 2017 be better than your 2016

Annie turned to Jeff as they closed the door and stepped into the hallway of Sunrise Senior Jewish Living Center.

“I think that went really well. She liked you.”

Jeff nodded politely as he continued to lean and hold onto Sophie’s hand.

Annie looked down at Sophie and said in a chipper tone, “You were so great, sweetie. Thank you for playing with Bubbe. She really enjoyed seeing you again.”

_“Yah, Mama. Come on, led pay.”_

Jeff lurched forward as Sophie attempted to pull him along with a surprisingly strong grip for someone of her size. He smirked as he said, “Okay, hey, just a sec.” Turning toward Annie, he remarked, “I’m glad I met her. It’s nice to meet someone in your family.”

Annie’s grin tempered a little as she said, “She thinks you’re my dad.”

He cringed. “Hey, I know there’s an age difference, but it’s not that big…”

\--“Jeff, she literally thinks _you’re my dad_. She thinks I’m _her daughter_. And she called Sophie _Annie_ the whole time.”

Jeff nodded as Sophie began to twist his hand, moving about in circles. He kept up with her as he leaned down to give Annie a quick kiss. Pulling back, he said, “Still. I’m happy to meet her since I know she loved you so much when you were little. I’m glad you had her.”

Annie wiped a tear from her eye as she said, “Thank you. I figured it was time you two met, especially since Anthony’s coming over tomorrow.”

Jeff took in a deep breath as he reflected on the tenseness he and Annie had both been feeling ever since she had resumed contact with her brother. Following the birthday text exchange, they had let it lie low until after Hanukkah. Jeff rebuffed his firm’s party once again after vowing to never spend another New Year’s Eve with Alan, and they had spent a quiet evening with Nancy and Ryan.

Early in the morning of January 1st, Annie had finally accepted Anthony’s facebook friend request, making sure her profile was censored so that he couldn’t view pictures of Sophie.   She had fluttered about the apartment while making the changes, making sure everything was perfect before she could finally settle down. Jeff had never felt more useless, knowing there was no way he could ease the situation for her and that she wouldn’t really know how Anthony would react until she saw him again.

He roused himself from his thoughts and noticed Annie staring up at him with concerned eyes. He smiled slightly. “I’m sorry, I was a million miles away.”

“It’s okay.”

“Yeah, err, are you sure you want Anthony to come over to the apartment?”

Annie looked at him curiously.

He explained, “It might be better to meet him alone in a neutral location. Then if all goes well, give me a call and I’ll bring the baby hobbit over to meet him.”

Annie frowned as she glanced down at a now dancing Sophie. She appeared to ponder this idea for a moment before she responded, “You’re right. I mean, what if he freaks out? I might not be able to even tell him about her this time. I don’t want to scare him away.”

“I’m sure you can tell him. It just might be nice to talk to him for a little bit before you do so. I’ll be nearby. Let’s just plan on him meeting her, okay? I’m sure he’ll love her.”

Annie nodded absentmindedly as they walked toward the front lounge and reception area. She said, “I have to talk to the staff for a few minutes about Bubbe. Could you take her over to the grandchild area to play?”

She gestured toward a corner of the lounge, which appeared to be devoted exclusively to a plastic kitchen, plastic foods, and several rubber baby dolls.

“Ah, yeah. Take your time.”

She gave him a peck on the cheek and shuffled off toward the desk. He watched as the receptionist then escorted her down another small hallway.

Jeff shooed Sophie toward the toy kitchen and then settled down in a chair nearby. He smiled as Sophie spied a child of about the age of five peak out from behind a cabinet and toss a plastic bottle of milk toward her while squeaking something about her helping him. As he watched Sophie readily engage with the kid, Jeff settled back in his chair and, deciding he didn’t want to risk a temper tantrum from Sophie over his phone, grabbed a magazine from the table. He averted his eyes from the likely mother of the other child, who was looking all too eager to strike up a conversation. He focused his efforts on appearing engrossed with a Business Weekly article on skiing.

_Skiing?_

_Now there was an idea._

He considered this for a moment but then felt the presence of someone sit down in the chair directly next to him. He affected his best come-hither smirk while turning to expect Annie, but was startled to see an attractive and stylishly dressed forty-something woman with long dark hair smiling coyly at him.

His eyes widened and he mumbled, “Oh, I thought you were someone else.”

The woman gave a twitch of disappointment but appeared to recover quickly. She fiddled with her ruby pendant on a long silver chain Jeff figured was likely placed strategically to highlight a tastefully arranged glimpse of cleavage.

“I’m so dreadfully sorry. You don’t mind if I sit here, do you? I’ve been on my feet all day, and I could really use a rest.” She motioned toward her black stilettos, slipping one off with a prolonged sigh.

He quickly scanned her outfit, noting the exquisite details of a designer black skirt suit. The red blouse underneath the jacket matched her necklace as well as her lipstick. If there was one thing Jeff Winger was attuned to, it was a sense of style. But there was another thing he was also very well aware of, and that was he was definitely _off the market_ when it came to the ladies.

He responded politely, and with a most respectful eye contact said, “No, of course.”

The woman relaxed a little and resumed a friendlier smile. “Thank you so much. You’re sweet.”

He glanced over to see the mother of the other child scowl in their direction. This amused him greatly, but he made sure not to show it.

_I’ve still got it. Fancily dressed ladies love the Winger._

His eyes went quickly over to Sophie, who was engrossed in play with the little boy. He then refocused his attention on the magazine article. About a minute later, he felt a soft thump of hair against his right arm as he assumed the seated woman tossed it back in an attempt at glamour.

_Hee hee_.

This sensation was followed by the distinct whiff of Chanel No. 5.

_Oh please. Overdone._

He ignored the soft sighs coming from his right as the woman slipped off her other shoe and began to massage her arches.

_“Daddy, look!”_

His eyes shot up to see Sophie toddling over with a plastic frying pan in one hand and a fake fried egg in the other. She squealed in delight upon reaching him and smooshed her face into his knees.

“Ahh, yes, I see.”

She looked up with a giggle and held up the pan and egg.

“Here. This goes in this.” He nodded in approval as she placed the egg in the pan. “Good job, munchkin. Maybe you can make Daddy breakfast tomorrow. You seem to have it all figured out.”

_“Okay._ ”

The woman stared at Sophie in amazement. She leaned over slightly and addressed her directly in a sing-songy voice, “Hi there. Aren’t you just the cutest!”

_“Hi.”_

“Is this your daddy? Why, I had no idea.”

_“Yah. Fee Daddy. Mine.”_

Sophie promptly smacked Jeff’s knee and looked at the woman with extreme skepticism.

Tickled internally once again, Jeff smirked. “Nice job, munchkin. Hey, why don’t we go find _Mommy_?” He cast a surreptitious glance to the side, noticing the woman bristling at his words.

_Sorry, you can’t have THIS._

He was about to reach down to pick up Sophie when she abruptly squealed and ran back to the playset. He shrugged and leaned back in his chair, watching as she re-engaged with the other child.

The woman sighed with a chuckle. “Just my luck. All the handsome ones are married.”

Jeff gave a shrug. “Yeah, well.”

The woman lightly swatted the air. “I must apologize. I didn’t mean to…”

\--“It’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

The woman nodded and laughed nervously. “I just didn’t see a ring. I always check. And I didn’t realize you were here with your child. I’m really every sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

Jeff turned to face her fully, placing his head on his hand as he propped his elbow on the back of the chair.

“Hey, I’m flattered. Thanks for stroking my ego.  But yes, I’m taken.”

He watched as she covered her mouth with her hand in embarrassment, lightly ducking her head. He felt an eerie wave wash over him but before he could fully encode what he had observed, the woman turned her body to face outward.

“Your daughter’s sweet. What’s her name?”

“Sophie.”

The woman nodded in comprehension and appeared to transition from flirtatious to platonic mode, her voice becoming more relaxed with an odd wistfulness to it. “Ah, that means _wisdom_ in Hebrew. It’s a really lovely name. It’s so nice to see a nice young Jewish family here. We don’t get a lot of kids here, but I think it’s important children know their grandparents. You’re doing the proper thing in bringing her by.”

Jeff smiled self-consciously as they both continued to watch Sophie play. She appeared to be arguing with the other child, placing her hands on her hips and barking orders at him. Before Jeff had a chance to intervene, the little boy nodded obediently and grabbed the pretend saltshaker and ‘salted’ the egg. Sophie seemed pleased.

The woman let out a hearty laugh at the sight. “She’s a spitfire. I love it. She’ll do great things.”

“Her mother usually brings her here to see her great-grandmother, err, bubbe? Sorry, I’m not Jewish.”

The woman turned to pat his arm. “That’s close enough. And I’m glad you’re here. You’re doing the right thing. And your daughter is stunning. Her _eyes_.”

“Yeah, those are her mother’s.”

“Ah.” The woman resumed staring at Sophie, a mixture of awe and bewilderment on her face.

Jeff shifted in his chair as he asked, “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

The woman shook herself. “Oh, that was strange.” Turning once again to him, she said in a soft and almost pleading voice, “Please take care of her. Make sure she stays on a good path.”

He watched as a tear fell down her cheek.

At loss of what else to say, he replied, “Yeah, of course.”

The woman opened her eyes wide and tilted her head slightly. “Please. You have no idea how quickly they grow up and then all sorts of bad things can happen.”

He felt the now familiar wrenching of his chest. He leaned over and platonically but sympathetically patted her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

The woman’s eyes closed for several beats before she gently maneuvered out of his pat. She murmured, “It’s okay. She used to be like that.” The woman’s lip quivered as she resumed watching Sophie play. She added in a barely audible tone, “Now she’s gone.”

Jeff turned outward once again, this time leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and hands clasped under his chin.

He felt a strange sense of vulnerability in that moment, but surprisingly, it didn’t bother him as it usually would. It was almost as if he and the woman were in some shared bubble, as if time had stopped and they were both looking at a still of Sophie at age two and a half, carefree and unspoilt by the world.

He found the words tumbling out of him, “She and her mother are everything to me. And she’s not even _mine_.”

“She’s not?”

He continued, feeling the haze of the bubble, “Not biologically. She came along with her mother, and well, _now_ she’s mine. But see, it’s weird. I’d do anything for her. I never thought it could be like that. That a tiny helpless creature could pull for that from me.” He added with a crack in his voice, “And you’re absolutely right, anything can happen.”

An almost whispered reply came, “My own children’s father just picked up and left. It’s not so much that he left _me_ , but he left _them_. I’ll never understand it. Promise me you’ll stay with her.”

Jeff nodded, continuing to watch the motions of Sophie’s play. “Duh, of course. My own father was a jerk. I know kids need their parents.”

The woman smiled once again and wiped her eye, emitting a sniffle. “They need you until they decide they don’t need you. But well, good. I’m glad something is right in this world.”

He turned to look at her in surprise as she suddenly replaced her heels and stood. He realized the bubble had disintegrated, and they were now back in the Sunrise Senior Living Center.

For some reason, he didn’t want her to go.

Before he could even say anything, she laughed lightly and with a blush said, “Okay, well, time to get it together, Rachel.”

“Rachel?”

Her blush deepened as she explained, “That’s me. I like to talk to myself. It’s motivating.”

“I’m Jeff, by the way.”

She accepted his extended hand and gave it a firm shake. As he started to rise, she shook her head and motioned for him to remain seated.

“I really must go. Again, I’m so embarrassed I made a fool out of myself earlier. It’s just this time of year. I was looking for a pick-me-up. But I’m glad to have met you and _your daughter_. I hope you and your family have a wonderful rest of the day.”

“Thanks.”

She stood even higher and puffed out her chest slightly. Jeff was pretty sure this wasn’t done sexually but again as more of a motivating gesture.

She muttered to herself, “Okay, I can do this.”

“Do what?”

She sighed. “I’m going to see my mother. It’s not always easy these days. She’s not herself. But I’m sure she’ll perk up a little.”

“Good luck.”

She gave a nod, turned to look at Sophie one last time, waived at her, and then clicked off down the east hallway.

Jeff felt almost as if he had seen a ghost too. 

****************************

Annie sat cross-legged on one of the couches in the Greendale student lounge and smiled nervously while patting a pillow on her lap.

She muttered to herself, “Annie, you can do this.”

Jeff felt a chill go down his spine but then quickly shook it off.   He stood to the side, holding Sophie in his arms.

“It’ll be fine. I had the Dean unlock the main door.”

“It’s so sweet of him to let us in the lounge during winter break.”

“Well, you know that’s not really sweetness, right? I mean I have to hang out with him and Trobed while you talk to Anthony, and you did threaten to hide the keys to the file cabinet.”

Annie jutted out her chin in defiance. “I hid them anyway. He has to wait to get them back.”

Jeff smirked in approval. “Ahhh, I see.”

He bent down and gave her a soft kiss. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

 

X

X

X

Annie was continuing to focus her efforts on smoothing the pillow when she heard the footsteps. Her head snapped up, and she saw him.

_Anthony._

_He’s taller than me now._

_He’s skinny._

_He’s sixteen._

_I hope he doesn’t hate me anymore._

“Annie?”

She found herself rising to her feet, clutching the pillow to her chest and nodding rapidly.

Anthony, dressed in ratted jeans and a Smiths t-shirt, carefully walked over to her. He placed his hands in his pockets and hunched over a little while giving her a sheepish gaze.

“Don’t hunch. You always hunch. When did you get glasses?”

“Annie, I missed you.”

Blinking back tears, she replied, “I missed you too.”

After about a full minute of silent awkward staring, Annie motioned for him to join her on the couch. He seemed relieved to sit down, and turned toward her.

At the resulting silence, she smiled nervously. “What?”

He studied her face for a moment before he replied, “You look different. I mean, you still look the same kinda, but you look better. You got really pretty.”

Annie found herself relaxing slightly as she chuckled and lightly swatted the air. “Oh, um, thank you. I think I’m happier, actually.”

“You are? Oh, good.”

Annie nodded. “I am. I’ve made a good life for myself. I’ve been going to school here, and I work for the Dean, and that’s why he said we could meet up here. I thought it might be less weird to meet in a public place.”

Anthony returned her nod and began to gaze around the room. “It looks fun. There’s a foosball table and stuff. I didn’t know community college could be fun.”

“I know I was supposed to go to Yale, but…”

\--“Annie, trust me, I _know_. And mom told me about the drug stuff and the arrest so I know why you couldn’t go. She said you were all stubborn and shit and wouldn’t - how did she phrase it? - _follow the program_.”

Annie gasped, “I _did_ follow the program! I graduated from rehab. I’ve been clean ever since. You have to believe me.”

Anthony sighed and pressed his finger against his glasses. “Shit, that’s not what I meant. She said you didn’t follow _her_ program. And you were being,” he made finger quotes as he continued, “ _willful_ , _rebellious,_ and _naïve_. She thinks you hate her.”

Annie gulped, her eyes widening. “I wish she’d realize it wasn’t about _her_. She didn’t understand what I was going through. I needed to do things my way. And I’m happy I’ve done it. And as for _hating_ her, that’s not it at all. I’ve just come to the realization that she will never understand me, and I’ll always disappoint her, so you know what, why even try?”

Anthony seemed to cringe as he adjusted his position on the couch. Looking away, he said tersely, “Can we _please_ not talk about mom anymore? I don’t want to. I live with her, that’s enough.”

Annie grimaced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to talk about mom anyway. I don’t want this to be about her. I want it to be about _us_. I really, really, really missed you.”

There was an edge to his voice as he countered, “Then why didn’t you tell me where you were before? I never knew why you disappeared and just left me.” He added in an almost whisper, “Turns out you were right next door the whole time.”

Annie startled, realizing for the first time the redness around her brother’s eyes and the hint of a sniffle. She reached over and lightly touched his arm. She was relieved he didn’t recoil. He looked up and met her gaze.

Keeping her eyes on his, she said carefully, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you wanted to see me. If I had known…”

\--“I’m sorry I called you a slut. If that’s why….I don’t know why I said it. If calling you a slut made you go away…”

Annie quickly grabbed the now sobbing Anthony into a hug, pulling him down slightly so that she could kiss forehead.

“That wasn’t why. You didn’t make me go away. I love you.”

“I love you too, Annie.” More sniffs.

She held him there for a little while, unsure of how much time he needed or how much she did. Perhaps more quickly than she anticipated, she felt him press his hand against her shoulder, an indication he wanted to stop.

As they pulled out of the embrace and he wiped his face, Annie smiled at him sadly. “When did you get so tall? It’s hard to hug you, even sitting down.”

He laughed almost giddily as if letting all the pent-up tension go. “You’re short.”

“That’s what Jeff always says.”

“Who’s Jeff?”

Annie paused for a few moments to collect herself, turning to place the pillow on her other side. As she turned back to face him, she replied nonchalantly, “My boyfriend.”

“Oh, cool.”

“I met him here at school my first semester. In a Spanish class. He’s been a really great boyfriend. And we have a ton of friends here. We’re all in a study group together.”

“So you’re really doing okay? Like you’re okay in school? And you have friends?”

She nodded.

He asked the next question in a lower voice, “And no more _drugs_?”

She let out a long sigh. “Yes. Despite our mom probably thinking I’m in a ditch somewhere, I’m fine. I’m going to get my bachelors here and then go to graduate school in Denver. And I love my friends. I told you, I’m happy.”

He appeared to ponder this information for a few moments before he said, “Mom’s been crazy. I think she does think you’re in a ditch. Um, just so you know.”

Annie found herself stiffening. “She doesn’t really, right? I was just kidding.”

He began resume looking around the room, turning his head to eye the snack machine. “She does. She doesn’t know if you’re alive or dead. You, um, might want to let you know you’re okay.”

Annie tilted her head and stared at him. “Are you serious? She kicked me out of the house! She wasn’t supportive of me finishing rehab after I finished my legal-squirmish-thingy! She didn’t help me! And she wanted me to get an abortion!”

Anthony’s head spun back to her from his scanning of the room. “Abortion? What the fuck?”

“Your language! Since when do you talk like…”

\--“Annie! _Abortion_?”

Annie stilled and let out a squeak. “I assumed she told you that part, since you called me a _slut_.”

He vehemently shook his head and looked at her expectantly.

She grabbed the pillow once again and clutched it to her chest. With a gulp, she explained, “After I tried to…. after the overdose, they did a blood test in the hospital, and it said I was pregnant. I had no idea. Mom flipped out.”

Anthony stared at her in shock.

Annie nodded at him, patiently waiting for him to react.

Finally he said, “She didn’t say anything about you being _pregnant._ She just said you were _sleeping around_.”

Annie pursed her lips and shook her head. “That’s not true. I had a boyfriend. Well, we had broken up which is part of the reason I was so upset at that time, but she never even bothered asking me whose it was. She just told me to _take care of it_. She was embarrassed.”

Anthony’s voice cracked as he asked, “Who was your boyfriend?”

Annie closed her eyes.   “Adam. You remember him, right? Dr. Wellson’s son?”

She opened her eyes to see a still-agape Anthony, whose only response was,

“Fuck.”

She let his exclamation hang in the air for several moments before she continued in a soft voice, “We were together for a little while. And um, I got pregnant.”

More silence, finally broken by,

“Wow. That’s crazy.”

Annie turned outward on the couch and leaned back, continuing to hold the pillow to her chest. She said in a hushed tone, “So, um, I had the baby. Mom doesn’t know about that part. I let her think I followed her wishes.”

Anthony leaned forward and turned to see her face. “You had a _baby_?!?”

Annie smiled self-consciously. “Yeah. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I knew I had to keep her.”

“Her?”

With a sigh of resolution, Annie sat up straight and tossed the pillow to the side. She reached down to grab her purse and pulled out her phone.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m calling Troy Barnes. You remember him, right? We went to high school together. He’s in my study group and we’re actually really good friends now.”

“Ooookay. I don’t get why you’re calling him when you just told me you had _a baby_.”

Annie took a deep breath and then elaborated, “He’s with my baby. He’s been standing by to bring her in so that you can meet her.” She suddenly turned to him and said quickly, “You do want to meet her, right?” She added with a pleading tone, “I really want you to meet her.”

Anthony let out a breath. “Damn. Yeah, of course I want to meet her.”

“Cool cool cool.”

Averting her eyes from him, she typed away on her phone.

 

X

X

X

“Here she is!” Troy grinned as he held Sophie’s left hand and escorted her into the student lounge. Abed held her right hand and did his best to keep a slow and careful pace.

_“Mama!”_

Annie beamed and motioned for Sophie to come to them. Troy and Abed exchanged looks and gradually let go so Sophie could toddle over to Annie. When she got closer, Annie leaned over and pulled her onto her lap.

“I missed you, sweetie.” She placed a kiss on Sophie’s forehead.

Sophie nuzzled into her shoulder and turned to watch Anthony with careful eyes, placing her thumb in her mouth.

Anthony turned to look at Troy, who gave him a wave. “Hey, I’m Troy.”

“Yeah, I remember. You’re that football jock.”

Troy shrugged. “Yeah. Look, we’ll leave you guys alone.”

“I’m Abed.”

“Oh, sorry, Abed, I didn’t mean…”

\--“It’s okay, Troy, I don’t think we’re needed much in this scene. It’s getting awkward. I merely said that for completeist purposes.” He turned to address Anthony, “I’ll interview you later and get caught up on your backstroy. But we should go.”

Annie silently mouthed her thanks to them as they ducked out. She then smiled and gave Sophie another kiss. “Anthony, this is Sophie.”

He regarded her with wonder. “Hi, Sophie.”

_“Hi.”_ The thumb promptly went back in the mouth.

“Sophie sweetie, this is Anthony, Mama’s brother. He’s your uncle.”

_“Duncle.”_

“That’s right. He’s my baby brother.”

“Annie, this is crazy. I can’t believe you have a baby.”

Annie looked at him with sadness. “I _know_. This is part of the reason I’ve been away. I couldn’t tell mom about her, not after everything that happened. She’d be so disappointed in me, and I’m done trying to please her.”

The edge crept back into his voice. “You could have told us. I don’t get why you won’t let me be her uncle.”

Annie startled yet again, and struggling to compose herself she said, “I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position. I can’t ask you to keep her existence from mom. So I thought it’d be easier if I didn’t tell you. But then I’ve missed you so much, I knew it was time.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, Anthony eventually reaching out to touch Sophie’s foot. She promptly gave him a soft kick with her glittery pink shoes.

“She’s cute.”

Annie replied softly, “Thank you. I want you to be her uncle.”

“Cool. Yeah.”

Annie relaxed yet again and repositioned Sophie so that she was now seated on her lap.

_“Fee wan bah.”_

Annie smiled at her. “You want your bear? I think Daddy has it.” She leaned over to grab her purse and pull out her phone.

“So Adam’s here?”

Annie shook her head as she paused in her texting. “No. I meant my boyfriend Jeff. We’ve decided he’s her daddy.”

“Oh. So that’s like serious?”

“Yeah. We were friends for the first year here before we started dating. But um, yeah, we moved in with him a few months ago.”

“Oh. Cool. I’m glad you don’t live alone.”

Annie finished her text and then turned back to see Sophie giggling at Anthony, who was in the middle of making a funny face.

 

X

X

X

Jeff pulled up a chair as he leaned over to hand Sophie her bear. “There you go, munchkin.”

_“Dank you, Daddy. Mine.”_

“Yes, that is definitely yours. I swear I wasn’t going to keep him.”

_“No, Daddy. Id mine.”_

“I get it, trust me.”

“Jeff, this is Anthony. Anthony, this is Jeff.”

Jeff reached out and shook Anthony’s hand, feeling the sweatiness. His guess looking at the kid was that he was pretty freaked out, staring at him with wide eyes. Jeff looked down to see Sophie smacking her bear on Anthony’s knee with a hearty chuckle.

He cleared his throat and said, “It’s good to meet you.”

The kid seemed to take a deep breath before looking back and forth between Jeff and Annie in confusion.

Jeff addressed the issue straight away and said, “I’m probably a little older than you were expecting.”

“You don’t look like you’re in college.”

“I never finished my undergrad so I went back to school. Annie and I are in the same year.”

“Oh, cool.”

Annie smiled brightly and gently placed Sophie in a standing position on the floor. She explained with a light tone, “I know our age difference might seem strange, but we get along really well, and I want you guys to get to know each other. I know you two will be good friends.”

Anthony affected a nonchalant shrug and mumbled, “Yeah, okay.”

“Great!” Came the chipper reply.

Anthony looked down at Sophie, who was attempting to shove the bear into the side of the couch. “Hey, can I play with her?”

Annie exchanged smiles with Jeff and said, “Yes, of course you can. She’d like that.”

 

X

X

X

Annie cozied up to Jeff’s side as they watched Anthony talk to Sophie on the other side of the room. Sophie had taken him over to the foosball table, and he had hoisted her up so that they could examine it more closely.

“I’m a terrible sister.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You know what I just realized? I haven’t even asked him what he’s been up to over the past three years. I made it all about _me_. He was only thirteen when I left. I don’t know his interests, his friends, how he’s been doing living with our mother. If he sees Bubbe….”

\--“Annie, there’s time.”

They sat in silence for some moments, intertwining their hands. Jeff watched her furrowed brow relax, but just when he thought she was feeling better her lip began to quiver.

“I can’t believe I haven’t let him be her uncle.”

Jeff kissed her temple. “It’s not that simple. You had good reasons. And look, you’ve introduced them now. They seem to be getting along great.”

Annie nodded wistfully, “Before you came in he told me he’s been babysitting for extra money.”

“Ah, well that explains why he seemed so comfortable picking her up.”

As they continued to watch Anthony and Sophie, Jeff felt the warm tears on his shoulder. He whispered, “It’s going to be okay.”

“I need to tell my mom. I can’t send him back there and ask him to keep this a secret.”

“I know.” He placed another kiss on her temple.  “So I guess today’s the day?”

Annie sat up and wiped her eye. She took a deep breath and turned to face him. “Not yet. He’s staying over at a friend’s house this weekend, so I can do it tomorrow.”

She glanced back at Sophie and Anthony, noting Sophie’s apparent glee.   She sighed. “Honestly, I don’t have the energy to do it right now. I mean how do I even go about telling my mother she’s a _bubbe_?”

Jeff grimaced, feeling the heaviness of the whole situation in a way he hadn’t since he first met Annie and Sophie. He briefly reflected on the group’s collective tendency to get absorbed in the absurdities of Greendale and forget the complexities of their respective family lives. Up until this point, Annie’s family had been almost an abstract thought for him, a family in theory only and one with which he made the naïve assumption they would never have to deal. But meeting her bubbe and now her brother and seeing the pain in Annie’s face made him realize the crucial importance of facing these people. And he knew enough to be aware of the sticking point of Annie’s mother.

Distracted by these reflections, he gave an uncharacteristically lame response. “I have no clue. Just come out and tell her, I guess? Call her? If she gets nasty, you can always hang up.”

Annie nodded as she continued to watch Anthony and Sophie, who had progressed to some pretend game with the bear on the floor.

Following her gaze, Jeff muttered, “I’ll disinfect that thing and give her a bath tonight.”

“I want to invite him over to dinner tonight. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And we’ll have Troy and Abed join us. Won’t that be nice?”

“It’ll be great.” 

*****************************

“Thanks, this has been really helpful.”

“Of course, An-nie. I’m touched you reached out to me for some sensible advice.”

Annie laughed to herself as she adjusted the phone against her ear and reached over to pick up Sophie’s baby doll from the kitchen floor. She walked over to the dining table and placed it in the high chair, right in back of the tray. As she reflected on how well the previous evening’s dinner went with Anthony in that very spot, she decided to add a touch of whimsy and place a bib on the doll.

_That’ll really surprise her._

For added measure, she added a purple plastic spoon near its hand.

Shirley’s voice carried on, “Now, you let me know if you need anything, or if you need me to talk to that woman. I can explain to her that you are a good girl and you’re one of the best people I know.”

Annie cringed against the phone before she said, “Thanks, but I’m not looking to prove to her I’m a _good girl_. The only reason I’m reaching out is to make things easier for Anthony. And well, I guess because it’s time, you know?”

There was a pause on the line and then a judgmental murmur.

“I see. But don’t you think you should reconcile? A mother always wants to be a mother to her child.”

“I don’t need her as my mother.”

“An-nie!”

“I’m serious. She held me to way too high of standards, she was impossible to please. It’s her _rigidity_ that’s the worst. Once she has an idea in her head, she can’t shake it. And she had definite ideas about how I should live my life. I don’t think she for once considered how _I_ might feel about any of it!”

“I see. Well, good luck….”

She was interrupted by a scuffling sound in the background.

“Shirley?”

“I’m sorry, hey, stop that right now!”

“Let me talk to her! Shirley, as the elder of the group, I must say I’m needed to weigh in here.”

“Is that Pierce? I thought he was in Florida?”

“You get away. Shoo! I’m so sorry, An-nie, he showed up on my doorstep this morning half hung-over with no _pants!_ I had no choice but to take him in. And now the boys are throwing things at him.”

“No pants? Look, Shirley…”

“He was wearing _shorts_ , but still, it’s way too cold, and it’s just _indecent_. Have you _seen_ Pierce in shorts? Well, now _I_ have, and let me tell you that’s a sight against the Lord!”

“Give me that…Annie dear, it’s Grandpa Peas. I’ve been listening in on your talk with Shirley, and while I can certainly understand you not wanting to bother me on my vacation, please rest assured I have returned and can accompany you to see your mother.”

Annie paused in her pacing across the dining room and touched her hand to her chest. “That’s really sweet of you.”

“It’s no problem.”

“But I can’t ask you to do that. I need to do this myself.”

“Very well, Annie. But know that I’m at your beck and call.”

“Thank you.” 

*****************************

Jeff chased a giggling Sophie into the living room, reaching down to grab her as she fell toward the couch. He lifted her up into the air and made a whirring noise, flying her around like an airplane. As he made a swooping arch, he was surprised by the sight of Annie putting on her coat near the kitchen. He came to a gentle stop and hoisted Sophie to his shoulder.

“Hey, where are you going?”

Annie finished buttoning up her grey woolen coat and placed her winter cap on her head. She straightened herself in a resolute pose. “I’ve decided a phone call won’t do. I’m going to see her.”

“Crap. Really?”

“Yes. It’ll be better this way.”

“Were you going to tell me?”

She smiled apologetically. “I was. I just didn’t want to give you too much notice because I was afraid I’d chicken out. I don’t want to be talked out of this.”

He returned her smile, indicating his understanding. “Do you want me to come along? Cause I can…”

She waived her hand in the air. “No, let me handle this. And I don’t want her anywhere near Sophie. You two stay here, I’ll go over to Riverside, and my guess is I’ll be back pretty quickly.”

“Are you _sure_ you want to do this?”

She gasped, “Of course I don’t _want_ to do this! But it needs to be done. Shirley convinced me it was the best way. And I talked to your mom, too, and she agreed. And so did Nancy. And even Britta said it would be the best psychologically….”

“Holy crap, you’ve talked to the entire town this morning.”

“Even Pierce seemed to think…”

\--“Double holy crap. Didn’t he shout at us all before break and run off to Florida?”

Annie shrugged and then put on her brightest smile. “Okay, I’m doing this.   I love you. Wish me luck.”

Jeff walked over to her and bent down to press his forehead to hers. “Luck.”

“Thanks.”

They were startled by a loud knocking at the door.

Annie stepped back and gave him a quizzical stare, which he returned in kind. Shrugging, she rounded the corner and headed down the hallway toward the now banging door.

She opened it.

“Mom?!?”*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Intentional parallel to Jeff’s mother turning up at his apartment in Part One.


	26. Rachel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie does another difficult thing

Annie gasped at the sight of her mother, whom she had not seen in three years.

_My mother._

Her mother, who had on a svelte dark green woolen coat with matching hat and bright red lipstick. She was looking perfect as always. And furious.

_Furious._

“Hello, Anna Elizabeth. Oh my god, what have you been up to?!?”

Annie’s eyes widened and she automatically stepped back. Her mother came a few inches closer, brow furrowed in concentration.

“Mom?”

The response came rapid-fire. “Don’t squeak like that. You always squeak like that. When did you get that coat?”

Annie startled at the familiarity of the exchange, and at the eerie realization that she had greeted Anthony in a similar manner the previous day. She took a breath to steady herself before she said in a slightly less squeaky voice, “I was just going over to see you.”

“Oh really? How wonderful. I just weaseled it out of your brother where _you_ live. Oh my god, you’re only twenty minutes away from me.”

Annie stammered, “Anthony told you?”

Her mother let out an exasperated sigh as she scanned Annie up and down once again. “Of course he did. Don’t think I don’t know when that boy is up to something.” She made a swooping motion with her hands and exaggerated an eye roll as she continued, “His whole thing about spending a weekend at _a friend’s_ house.” She paused and pursed her lips. “Well, I just called up that other boy’s mother, and when she said he hadn’t arrived until this morning…”

As her mother droned on, Annie guiltily thought back to how they had let Anthony spend the night on the couch since it was so late when dinner was over. It had just been so nice to have him there, and she hadn’t wanted to let him go.

_Stupid. Stupid._

She continued to grip the edge of the door and refocused her attention on her mother’s words:

\--“And he thinks he’s so _smart_ , but I learned my lesson with you and I check up on him. I make sure he’s not having any _sleepovers_ with girls. Now I certainly didn’t expect him to be with _you_. When I confronted him at that boy’s house this morning, he broke down pretty quickly and told me where he was last night. The poor boy is _sobbing_. Look what you’ve done to him.”

Annie knew better than to confront the gaps in logic. She pressed her hand against the dull ache forming in between her eyes and took another deep breath before saying in as rational of a tone as she could muster, “Mom, as I said, I was going to come over and tell you everything. I didn’t want to put Anthony in a position of keeping secrets from you. But yes, I asked him not to say anything.” She paused and then quickly added, “I’m sorry.”

Annie’s mother nodded vehemently while pursing her lips. “Well, um, good. That’s good.” She then stilled, apparently flustered by Annie’s apology. She added with a murmur as she scanned her once again, “I believe you. You were coming to see me.”

“Yes.”

Annie smiled slightly, half in fear and half in rage.

Her mother held her gaze for many awkward moments before taking in a sharp breath and asking, “So can I come in?”

Annie felt her feet frozen to the spot. She almost-squeaked, “Um, how much did Anthony tell you?”

Her mother frowned and tilted her head as she replied, “He said you weren’t using all those horrible things anymore, that you were at,” she gulped, “ _community college_ ,” she cringed before she continued, “and that you were living here with some boyfriend.” She closed her eyes and with an almost groan added, “Oh, and he might have mentioned to me that you were _happy._ ”

She opened her eyes and looked at her daughter for confirmation.

Annie nodded slowly, her feet still immobile. With a tremble in her voice she asked, “Did he say anything else?”

Her mother, genuinely appearing befuddled, softened her voice. “Like what, sweetie?”

For a moment Annie was taken aback by her mother’s familiar term of affection. She moved her eyes to the side and asked in an almost whisper, “I don’t know, um, like anything kind of major?”

Her mother re-righted her head and looked at her intently. With an abrupt shift in tone she said, “Well, he told me you were _alive_. God, I can’t believe what you put me through.”

Annie almost laughed internally. She took a deep breath before she smacked the door once and said calmly and firmly, “ _You_ kicked me out, mom. Don’t you remember? You told me not to come back unless I agreed to your terms. Terms being see Dr. Wellson for the Adderall prescription, terms being have an abortion, terms being re-roll in high school and go to Yale.”

She watched as her mother stiffened and feigned a small smile. “Why would you say any of that right now when we haven’t seen each other in _three years_? You had to know when I issued those terms I didn’t mean you couldn’t ever come back. I was upset, and I had good reason to be. I had just found out you had been deceiving me.” Her eyes widening, she almost squeaked, “And I can’t believe you’d bring up…” she whispered while gesturing with one hand, “ _that other thing_ about _the thing_.”

Annie sighed and began to rock the side of her head against the door.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me. I’m your mother. I thought you might be _dead_.”

Annie suddenly began to giggle.

Her mother gasped and gave her a light swat on her arm. “Stop it! What’s so funny?”

Annie paused in her chuckling. “Oh, mom, I’ve almost missed you. Here, come in.” She stepped back and motioned for her mother to enter.

As she followed, her mother squinted at her. “You’re being strange. You’re not _high_ are you?”

Annie continued to laugh as she took off her hat and unbuttoned her coat. “No, mom. I’m clean. I haven’t touched any of that in three years.”

Her mother also took off her hat, unbuttoned her coat and flung it over her arm with a huff. “Well, good.”

Annie exaggerated her Disney eyes in a mockery. “I don’t even need Adderall to get good grades. I bet that makes you _proud_.”

Her mother continued to study Annie’s face. “Well I shouldn’t think so at _community college_ …. but, well, um, good. And no more other _things?_ ”

Annie shook her head as she took her mother’s coat and added it to her own over her arm.

Her mother returned the gesture with a curt nod.

Raising her voice so Jeff could hear, Annie said, “Mom, why don’t you come into the living room with me?”

She ushered her mother down the hallway, and as she entered the room, she made eye contact with a frantic looking Jeff who stood with Sophie in his arms.

She mouthed silently to him, _it’s okay_.

He gulped and nodded.

They both watched as Rachel Edelstein Edison rounded the corner and came to an abrupt stop at the sight of Jeff and Sophie.

“Ta-da, mom! I had the baby!” Annie did a little bounce and gestured wildly over to Sophie.

_“Ta-da, Mama! Fee baby!”_

“Oh my god.” 

*********************************

After Rachel’s near heart attack, they managed to get her situated on the couch. Annie came back into the room and handed her mother a glass of water and sat down next to her. Rachel cast her an incredulous look before gulping down half the glass. She then stared at Sophie, who was pushing the doll stroller toward her with a stuffed bear strapped inside. Rachel’s mouth curved in a nervous smile as they made eye contact.

Annie leaned over and stopped Sophie, encouraging her to go back over to Jeff who was sitting opposite them in a chair on the other side of the coffee table.

_“Okay, Mama. Beep Beep.”_

Sophie smiled and turned toward him while continuing to make the beeping noise. He reached over and nervously patted down a few of her stray curls while sharing a look of bewilderment with Rachel.

Annie watched the nonverbal communication between them for a few moments and then asked, “Hey, what’s going on?”

Jeff hesitated, casting another look at Rachel before responding, “We’ve um, met before.”

Annie tilted her head and then looked at her mother who grimaced and nodded in confirmation.

Rachel shook herself and sat up straighter, carefully placing her glass on a coaster. She cleared her throat before she explained, “We met this past week at Sunrise. Jeff and I had a little chat, and I met Sophie.”

Annie’s mouth fell open and she turned to Jeff with a freakish stare.

He recoiled slightly. He then attempted to distract Sophie by unbuckling her bear and making it do a little bounce on the coffee table.

“Jeff?”

He said with sigh, “I didn’t know she was your mother. We were waiting for you after visiting your bubbe, and she sat down near us. We talked for like ten minutes, and that was it.”

Annie’s head whipped around to her mother. “Did you _know_?”

Rachel gasped. “Oh, please! How would I?” She looked over at Sophie for a few moments as she attempted to again catch her breath. With a pained expression she said, ”But let me tell you, now it makes a lot more sense why…” she trailed off for a second before she continued, “that child reminded me of you.”

She added in a barely audible tone, “I can’t believe you’ve kept this from me.” She continued to stare at Sophie in complete befuddlement.

Annie immediately scrunched up her face and slammed a fist on her knee. She let out a side whisper, “You _knew_ , and you told me to get rid of _it_. What was there to tell?”

Rachel kept her eyes on Sophie for a moment before turning back to face Annie. She said through gritted teeth, “For starters, you could have told me that you _didn’t_ do what I suggested. That would have been _crucial information_.”

Annie lifted her chest up and huffed. “How so?”

Rachel shook her head. “If I had known you insisted on keeping it…um, sorry, _her_ , then I wouldn’t have asked you to leave.”

Annie stilled and stared at the floor. She thought over her mother’s words and finally said, “I don’t believe that. You were embarrassed by me. There’s no way you would have lived with that scandal.”

Rachel reached over to pick up the teal pillow and began to fiddle with the corners. Keeping her eyes on it, she said, “I hardly think living with the scandal of my daughter disappearing was any better. Do you think I’m some sort of _monster_? That’s my _grandchild_ ….” She trailed off as she resumed staring at Sophie, her hands stilling.

Jeff was doing his best to keep Sophie focused on the bear doing a high dive from the coffee table onto the doll stroller as Sophie giggled.

Suddenly as if the reality of the situation had finally dawned on her, Rachel squeaked out, “Oh my god, I’m a _bubbe_.”

Annie swatted at her from a distance with two hands. “Stop it! You can’t rewrite history! You were _horrified!_ You didn’t even ask me who her father was!” She suddenly stopped her hand motions and quickly added, “And before you jump to any conclusions, I didn’t know Jeff back then.”

Rachel turned back to Annie with a sigh. “I already know that. He told me when we had our conversation.”

Annie looked back and forth between them. Jeff shrugged.

With a gasp of disbelief, Annie exclaimed, “Well aren’t you two chummy?!?! This is crazy.”

Jeff started to explain, “Annie, it’s…”

Annie made the trademark Winger cutting gesture and he promptly stopped speaking.

_“Ooooh, Daddy, no talk!”_

Jeff cringed and then shifted his expression to one of mock excitement as he looked down at Sophie. In an even tone he said, “I know munchkin. Here, why don’t you just come here and sit with me?”

_“Okay.”_

Rachel watched as Sophie climbed into Jeff’s lap and he gave her a kiss on her forehead. She asked in an almost whisper, “Annie, who is that child’s biological father?”

In response, Annie clasped her hands and looked at the floor.

Jeff cast a look at Annie’s posture and knew it was best if he left them alone. He grabbed the bear and stood with Sophie in his arms. “Hey, why don’t I take her to play so you two can talk? This is boring for her.”

Annie and her mother both immediately nodded.

_“Bye Bye.”_

“Bye, Sophie. It was good to see you again.”

Jeff cast one last look at Rachel, meeting her red-rimmed eyes. He gave her a slight nod and carried Sophie out.

Annie waited until she heard Jeff close the door to their bedroom. She then turned to her mother and said tersely, “For the record, I’m not _a slut_.”

Rachel placed one hand on her chest and opened her eyes wide. “ _Slut?_ Now why on earth would you start with that?”

Annie jutted out her chin and said, “That’s what you told Anthony. You turned him against me. He was only thirteen and he didn’t know any better.”

“Now, you’re being silly. I never used that word…”

Annie interjected, “You completely misunderstood the situation. I had a boyfriend.”

Rachel raised her eyebrows. “Really? You had a boyfriend? And how come I didn’t know about this?”

Annie closed her eyes. “Because I didn’t want you to know. It was private. Something that was just for me. It was special. And I didn’t want you to ruin it.”

Rachel stared at her. “That’s ridiculous. I didn’t ruin your relationship with Andy, now did I? I let you two date. I didn’t mind in the slightest if you had a boyfriend.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “You only let me see Andy because you knew he was gay.”

Rachel looked down and began to brush the pillow with her fingers as she said, “Yes, I knew you were safe with him. And you got to practice dating. Win-win.”

Annie couldn’t help but let out a quick laugh.

Her mother frowned and looked back up at her. “What?”

Annie shrugged. “I did sleep with Andy. Once. We both just wanted to see what it was like. And I didn’t want to be a virgin anymore.”

Rachel pursed her lips once again and shook her head. Clutching the pillow, she stammered, “You’re just making things up, trying to get a rise out of me, aren’t you? Wow, we are back to this. After _three years_.”

“I spent most of my life trying to please you. Clearly that doesn’t work. Now I’m trying honesty.”

Rachel bristled. “I don’t want to know anything about that. I still don’t even believe you. You’re just upset.” She looked at Annie from the corner of her eye as she tensed even further. “And surely Andy can’t be Sophie’s father. I see that boy’s mother socially. He’s at Princeton.”

Annie groaned. “He’s not her father. You know we broke up the year before.” 

Rachel appeared to take a moment to steel herself, rising slightly in her seated position. Clearing her throat, she said, “Fine. Tell me who Sophie’s father is.”

“No.”

Rachel appeared taken back. “Excuse me?”

Annie leaned over and grabbed another throw pillow, this one a deep purple. She turned sideways and scooted back on her side of the couch, curling her legs underneath her while clutching the pillow to her chest. She managed, “Why didn’t you ask in the hospital?”

“Because I just assumed….”

Annie cast her mother a furious stare and interjected, “That it wouldn’t matter. That I’d take care of it.”

Rachel patted her pillow, finding a small crease in it that she made immediate efforts to smooth out. She took a moment to collect herself before she said, “Just because I made a _suggestion_ doesn’t mean ….” She paused before she continued, “I didn’t want you to derail your future. But she’s here now afterall, and she seems like a sweet child. Let’s not rehash this.”

“That’s not what I meant. Even if I had _followed your suggestion_ , you still should have _asked_.”

“I was in shock.”

“No, it’s because you didn’t care.”

“That’s nonsense.”

Annie said in a low voice with a sniffle, “Clearly I had someone important to me.”

Rachel placed the pillow to the side and turned to face her daughter. “So that’s why you had the baby?”

Annie let out another low laugh. “I don’t know why I had her, actually. You know, part of me can see your point. And I did almost give her up for adoption. We thought, given that we had broken up and I was so young, it might be the best thing for her. But I wanted to keep her.”

Rachel nodded to herself more than Annie and murmured, “Ah, I understand. You loved him.”

Annie whipped her head up and glared at her mother. “Yes. Yes, I did. I couldn’t just get rid of our baby.”

Rachel appeared to ponder this information for several moments and then began to shake her head. “That’s what they do. They make you think you’re special. Oh my god, how could I let this happen to you?”

“Mom, I…”

Rachel reached over and took Annie’s hand. Giving it a squeeze, she said, “I was supposed to protect you from this. You were supposed to start your life, get an education at one of the best schools, start a career, and be independent. And then when you met a nice man, you could of course _decide_ if you wanted to marry and have children. But above all, I was supposed to ensure you were self-sufficient. But you weren’t supposed to be a single mother like I ended up being.”

Annie used her other hand to disentangle herself from her mother’s grip. “Mom, this isn’t about you. You didn’t cause this. And I’m not a single mother. I have Jeff.”

Rachel gave her a crooked smile before she said, “We’ll talk about him once we’ve cleared all this up.” She then reached over to pat Annie’s hand twice before placing hers back on her lap. She continued, “Clearly the baby’s biological father is not in the picture. You and he discussed giving her up. He’s not here. Jeff’s here. I know she calls him _daddy_. So yes, this boy left you to be a single mother. And that’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let you out of my sight. You were only seventeen.”

Annie pursed her lips and took another deep breath. “There’s nothing you could have done to prevent it. And despite how hard it’s been, I don’t regret it. She’s my world. And I’m doing my best to make a life for her and me. And I’ll graduate school and have a career. So I’m working on all those things you mentioned in your little speech, but Sophie just came along first.”

Rachel nodded and said almost wistfully, “Well, we Edelsteins do soldier on. That’s just the way it goes.”

Annie said sardonically, “See, you’re almost _proud_ of me. Ha ha.”

Rachel grimaced and said in a careful tone, “Actually, I am. You picked yourself up and seem to be fine.”

Annie’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? But…”

Rachel lightly swatted the air and interjected, “Your boyfriend is very handsome, and he dresses well. I saw him in his little get up at Sunrise. Clearly he has some money. That was very wise of you. And he seems to be just the right age to want to settle down and have a family, so the age difference works to a real advantage for you given that boys your age are _idiots_.” She winked at her before she continued, “I’ve seen him with Sophie, and he seems very taken with her and he speaks highly of you. So, good job on that.” She smiled brightly as she crossed her legs and placed her hands on her knee.

Annie stared as her mother continued, “Now I think we have room for improvements, of course. I’m not sure why the three of you are living here. It’s fine, but you need more space. And we’ll have to look into this whole,” she gulped before continuing, “ _community college_ situation and see if we can get you a transfer as soon as possible. It’s only your undergraduate, and you can go to graduate school at a more prestigious institution. Then you’ll get a good paying career.”

“Mom, I…”

\--“And we’ll make sure Sophie has access to the best. Where does she go to preschool? I can make some calls and get her on a waiting list to an excellent private school. I really think that’s where I went wrong with you. We should have sent you to a nice and safe all girls school…”

Annie interrupted, “Mom! Please, _stop_.”

Rachel began to open her mouth in protest but halted when she saw Annie’s pinched up face.

Annie said through clenched teeth, “This is not what I need from you right now. I have everything figured out.”

Rachel took a deep breath and turned away. “You’re right. We can discuss all this later.”

Annie rolled her eyes.

Turning back to face her, Rachel said, “So you need to tell me who her father is.”

“It’s Jeff.”

Rachel pressed a hand in between her eyes, closing them for a moment before she looked back at Annie. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this. I’m very sorry I didn’t ask before. But I’m asking now. And I hope you’ll tell that child the truth someday, so you might as well tell _me_ right now.”

Annie nodded slowly. “You wanted me to go back on Adderall.”

Rachel tilted her head and looked at her curiously. “I fail to see what that has to do with what we’re talking about.”

Annie kept a steel glare as she said, “You didn’t get it. I was addicted, and I got clean.”

Rachel let out a long sigh. “I’m very happy you stopped using the _other stuff_ , sweetie. The Adderall was more to make sure you could focus and not go back to the _other stuff_. I made sure you’d have medical supervision in taking it. If a doctor prescribes it, it’s safe. I could never understand why you were so resistant to that idea.”

Annie closed her eyes as she said, “You talked Dr. Wellson into it.”

“He offered once I explained the situation. He didn’t even hesitate.”

Annie opened her eyes. With almost a pleading tone she said, “That’s because he knew I was addicted before the overdose, and he looked the other way. He caught me and Adam.”

Rachel frowned. “Adam? As in his _son_ Adam? He was using _stuff_ too?”

Annie groaned. “Yes, mom. Adam Wellson even hooked me up with his drug dealer.”

Rachel gasped and clutched her ruby pendant.

Annie continued, “And he left me to raise our baby by myself.” 

*******************************

Jeff had turned on the television in their bedroom and plopped Sophie on the bed so that she could watch a cartoon. This had afforded him the opportunity to lean against the closed door and make out some snippets of conversation:

_“Why didn’t you ask in the hospital?”_

_“_ _Just because I made a suggestion doesn’t mean …”_

_“Mom! Please, stop.”_

Some murmurings for awhile he couldn’t make out and then finally:

_“That snot-nosed entitled brat! I’m going to KILL him!”_

_“Mom! STOP!”_

Jeff cast a look over at Sophie who was staring agape at the television. He opened bedroom door and lightly jogged down the hallway. As he rounded the corner to the living room, he heard the slamming of the front door.

Annie stood in the middle of the room, her face even paler than usual.

“What happened?”

Annie appeared to snap herself out of her daze and marched over to her purse and pulled out her phone. She began to text frantically.

“Who are you texting?”

“Adam. I’m sure she’s going over to his father’s house, and then she’ll bully him into telling her where Adam is. And then she’ll find him, and then she’ll…I don’t know, but…”

Jeff reached over and placed his hand firmly on hers. “Don’t help him.”

She stilled and then looked up at him. “Oh.”

He smiled at her softly.

“It’s just habit.”

“I think your mom’s got this. You don’t want her to control you, so I say you don’t try to control her.” 

***********************

Jeff kept watch over Annie as she paced the apartment while he made lunch. Sophie insisted on helping him prepare sandwiches in her own Sophie-helpful way, which basically amounted to gobs of jam all over her hair. He looked down.

 _And my pants_.

Normally this would have bothered him greatly, but he was more than a little distracted by the sound of Annie forcefully fluffing the throw pillows. 

***********************

Two hours later, Annie got a call from Anthony.

“Mom’s been arrested. She says she needs you to bail her out.”


	27. In-law Etiquette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff gets Rachel out of a jam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure not to miss the previous chapter, posted this same weekend. Hey, I was having a Rachel moment and decided to just go for it. ;)

“Mom, what did you do?!?”

Rachel raised her head and stood. She calmly waltzed over to the cell bars, a swivel in her hips and a steel in her gaze. She looked intently at her daughter as she said, “He got off easy.”

Annie closed her eyes and pressed the space between them for a few moments before she responded.

“They have you in for _assault_. Jeff is trying to clear it all up right now.”

Rachel tilted her head and frowned. “I merely needed your help with the bail, sweetie. They wouldn’t let me post my own. I’ll pay you back.”

Annie opened her eyes, groaning as she smacked the cell bars. “Of course we’ll pay your bail. What I meant was Jeff’s trying to _fix everything_. But it would really help us if you could tell me exactly what happened.”

“Fix everything?”

“He’s a lawyer.”

Rachel’s eyes lit up in amazement. “Ah. So that’s it. I must say that fits!” She scowled and looked off to the side as she added, “Well, I had a call into my lawyer, but the jerk hasn’t shown up. I get the impression he’s been avoiding me.” With another shift in tone she opened her eyes wide and said with a chirp, “Really, please thank Jeff for me. That’s very sweet of him!”

Annie squeezed her hands into fists and held them at her side. “ _Sweet?_ He’s not being _sweet_! You’re my mother, and from what we’ve been able to piece together, you did something to Adam in front of his apartment building. Someone saw it and called 911 and now Adam’s in the hospital!”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Oh please. I didn’t hurt him _that_ badly.”

Annie stared at her in disbelief.

Rachel gripped the bars, her knuckles whitening as she added in a low growl, “And besides, he deserved it. No one hurts my baby.”

For the first time Annie noticed the abrasions on her mother’s hand. She did her best to regulate her breathing, but before she could respond, she was relieved to catch a whiff of Jeff’s cologne.

Dressed in one of his most stylish suits, he stepped into the holding area and joined Annie in front of the cell.

At the sight of him, Rachel’s face lit up and she did a little bounce while still clutching the bars. She squeaked, “Hello, Jeff! Thanks so much for being such a sweetheart.”

Annie’s eyes widened as she watched her mother tilt her head and flutter her eyelashes in Jeff’s direction. She turned to watch Jeff visibly tense and do his best to maintain composure. He gave a polite half-smile.

Jeff briefly reflected that he would have been completely unnerved if Rachel’s eyes actually resembled Annie’s. As he stared into them, he realized they were a dark brown.

He cleared his throat and then said, “Rachel, I’ve spoken to the officer as well as the prosecutor, who luckily is a friendly acquaintance of mine. I have my colleague Mark coming over shortly to get into the details, but looks like we may be able to soften this.”

Rachel, seemingly taken aback, placed her hand to her chest and gasped, “Really? That would be tremendously wonderful of you.”

Annie crossed her arms and began to scan the floor as she stuffed down the bile coming up her throat.

Jeff ahem-ed before he continued in his best lawyerly voice, “Apparently Adam is going to be fine. He has a broken nose and a cracked rib, but he’s being released from the emergency room as we speak. I just talked to his father on the phone, and he’s going to bring him over here and you’re all going to have a nice little chat. Trust me, the prosecutor has enough on her plate and would like this all to go away. Mark can work on getting a plea deal or even a dismissal, as long as Adam is agreeable.”

Annie shot him a suspicious look and mumbled out of the side of her mouth, “ _her_?”

Jeff squinted at Annie and then turned back to Rachel. He smiled and asked in his smoothest voice, “So are you going to be reasonable and play ball with us?”

Rachel began to open her mouth when Annie, apparently rattled by what Jeff had just said, approached the cell and stammered, “Mom, you broke his nose and cracked his rib?!?”

With a yawn, Rachel began to examine her red-polished fingernails. “He needed a good extra kick after I punched him. Unfortunately for him, I was wearing my stilettos.” She frowned and added with a murmur, “I cracked a nail.”

Annie sputtered, “That’s crazy! Why do you have to be so unhinged?!?”

Jeff quickly placed a firm hand on Annie’s arm and almost yanked her out of the holding area. After the guard shut the door, he turned to her with a gasp.

“Need I remind you that you also broke Adam’s nose last fall?”

Annie crossed her arms over her chest and looked down. “That was different. I won’t let anything happen to my daughter. I did it for _her_.”

Jeff raised his eyebrows and stared at her in silence for almost a full minute.

Comprehension dawning on her face, Annie exclaimed, “Oh, please! I’m nothing like her! She’s crazy!!!” 

***************************

Within twenty minutes, Mark arrived. He cast a sympathetic smile over to Annie, pulled Jeff aside for a brief chat, and then took off down the hall to speak with the prosecutor.

As Annie and Jeff sat on a bench in the lobby of the Greendale Police Station, Adam and his father entered.

Annie took in the sight of Adam’s bandaged nose and the way he winced as he held his left side. Suppressing a smile, she sprang to her feet and marched over to him with a steely gaze.

Adam instinctively stepped back before he said, “Annie, your mom is nuts!”

Clenching her fists at her side, Annie retorted, “She was upset. I couldn’t stop her.”

Adam took a few steps forward and stared her down.

Jeff rose and walked over to join them. He introduced himself and shook hands with Dr. Wellson, a tall well-dressed bespectacled man with a paunch in his fifties. The man muttered in apparent embarrassment as he firmly pulled Adam back a few inches as Adam ranted to Annie,

“She’s crazy, crazy, crazy! She came over and pummeled me!”

“She’s way shorter than you! You should have been able to fight her off better!”

“She caught me off guard! Who does that?!? Oh, that’s right, _you!”_

Dr. Wellson cleared his throat. “Am I missing something? What are you talking about?”

Adam’s eyes widened and he exchanged a guilty look with Annie. Relaxing his posture he said, “Nothing. I was just talking shit. God, let’s just get this over with.”

With relief, Dr. Wellson nodded and addressed Annie, “How do we go about this? I’ve spoken to Jeff here, and we’re perfectly willing to not press charges. There’s no need to make the whole _situation_ worse. I don’t wish any ill will on you or your mother, especially after everything my son has done to mess up your lives.”

Adam crossed his arms over his chest, winced at the pain, and then moved his hand back to his side.

Annie seemed to ponder Dr. Wellson’s words for a few moments, bobbing her head in thought. Jeff looked at her expectantly, at a loss as to her hesitation.

She finally looked up to meet Dr. Wellson’s gaze. Affecting a terse smile she said calmly, “That’s great. Thank you.” 

***************************

“That was terrible! I can’t believe they didn’t put me in more sanitary accommodations!”

“Mom, you were in _jail._ ”

Rachel tensed and sat up straighter in her seat. “I suppose _you_ would know about such things, but I guess we’re not talking about _that_ today. And well, I shouldn’t have been. As we all have figured out by now, it was a mistake. Adam and I needed to work something out. It was a _family matter_.”

Annie’s mouth fell open. “Mom! I can’t believe….”

Rachel cast a dismissive wave and said, “And Jeff, really, that was so wonderful of you to come to my aid like that and clear up this whole silly thing. Mark was just lovely. He’s a cute little thing and I just want to pinch his cheeks. I’m not sure why you couldn’t handle it yourself, of course, but…”

Annie broke in, “That’s because his license is suspended.”

Rachel blanched from her seat in the back of the Lexus. “Suspended?”

Annie exchanged a look with Jeff before she turned around slightly so that she could face her mother while Jeff drove them toward Riverside.

Suppressing a smirk, she said as if she were talking to a small child, “Yes, he faked his undergraduate degree before he went to law school. He practiced for several years but someone found out and then the State of Colorado told him he needed to go back and get a proper degree. That’s how we met, _not that you’ve asked_. He goes to Greendale Community College with me.”

Annie watched in almost glee as her mother’s mouth twisted into a frown. “Oh goodness.”

“Yeah, mom. He’s not perfect either. _And I love him_.”

Jeff winced as he felt Rachel’s eyes on him in the rearview mirror.

Rachel cleared her throat and began busying herself with inspecting Sophie’s empty carseat, pulling on it to make sure it was secured. She frowned as she made an adjustment to one of the straps.

After a few moments of silence, she cleared her throat and said in a softer tone, “Can you get your license back?”

Jeff cast a glance at her side profile in the mirror. “Yeah.”

She immediately looked up and met his eyes. “When?”

“In about another year.”

“And then?”

“Likely Mark and I are going to start our own firm.”

A warm smile spread over Rachel’s face. She nodded in satisfaction and released her grip on the carseat strap, patting down Sophie’s blanket as she said, “I can tell you’re a good lawyer. You have the moves. And you speak so _smoothly_. You must have been very, very good. I bet you won all your cases.”

Jeff grinned. “I hate to brag, but um, yeah.”

“Jeff!”

There was a swat from the passenger seat.

Rachel chuckled as she picked up the blanket and began refolding it. “Oh, you _love_ to brag. I can tell.” In mid-fold, she turned her attentions on Annie, who was still half-turned backward and watching her.

With a smirk, she asked, “Where’s my grandchild?”

Annie cast an incredulous look at the blanket and then pursed her lips. “She’s with a friend. We didn’t want to bring her to the _police station_ after you _assaulted_ her biological father.”

Rachel placed the now properly folded blanket in the carseat and lightly swatted the air before turning to look out the window.

Annie scrunched up her face in frustration.   She said firmly, “Mom, we have to talk about this. Just because Mark fixed this doesn’t mean we can pretend it never happened. I know you’re mad at Adam, but you shouldn’t have hurt him.”

Rachel turned away from the window and squinted at her daughter in rage. “Oh really?” She stated with rapid-fire, “First of all, _Jeff_ fixed this. He’s the one who talked to everyone and called Mark. Second of all, you are merely deflecting because you know what you did.”

Annie gasped, “What?!? I didn’t do anything! You’re the one who…”

Rachel interjected, “You kept your child from her bubbe but apparently not her zayde. I spoke to Carl privately back at the station, and he says he’s met Sophie.”

Annie sighed as she explained, “He hasn’t been a zayde to Sophie. He met her once and pretty much decided to have nothing to do with her.”

Rachel appeared to consider this information for a moment, looking down at her lap. She then snapped her head up and stared at Annie. “Do you know how humiliating this has been? Not to mention _insulting_.”

Annie turned toward the front of the car and watched the road ahead, casting a side-glance with Jeff as he continued to drive.

“Next thing you know, you’ll tell me your father knows too. That would be the icing on the cake.”

Annie let out a squeak.

“Oh hell. Anna Elizabeth!”

************************* 

Annie stood with mother at the front door to her childhood home. She took a moment to take in the sight of the brick structure, her eyes lingering on her bedroom window.

_The last night I was here I overdosed._

“Well, aren’t you going to come inside?” Rachel half stepped into the foyer and held the door open.

Annie placed her hands in her coat pockets and glared at her mother. “No. We have to pick up Sophie.”

“She’s a beautiful child. I watched her play at Sunrise. She’s an Edelstein through and through.”

Looking down, Annie said, “Thank you.”

Rachel cast her eyes off to the side and said in a slightly trembling voice, “You gave birth to a child. Without your mother. Did you know your bubbe was with me when I had you?”

Annie startled and shifted her attention back to her mother’s face. In an almost whisper she said, “No, I didn’t know that.”

“I should have been there. You needed your mother.”

Annie shrugged.

“Please stay.”

“I told you we can’t.”

Rachel cast a glance over Annie’s shoulder and spied Jeff pacing near the Lexus while talking on his phone. She smiled brightly.

“He’s talking to the sitter, right?”

“Yes, he’s telling Troy we’ll be picking her up soon.”

“Troy?”

“Troy Barnes. You remember him. We went to high school together.”

Rachel looked at her curiously for a moment. She appeared to collect herself and then asked, “Maybe Jeff could be a sweetheart and get Sophie?   Then all of us could have dinner.” She stared off in space and then added, “Oh my god, I just realized you named her after my mother. Really, that’s lovely. Your bubbe would be delighted if she had any awareness these days.”

Annie moved her eyes up to the bedroom window once again as she said, “I don’t think dinner is a good idea.”

Rachel frowned. “Why not, sweetie? I know your brother’s still at Jason’s house, but that will make this whole awkward situation a little less so, don’t you think?”

Without waiting for a response, she did a little bounce and, letting go of the door stepped forward and clasped her hands together. “And I can make a stew! I’ll get Kristie next door to run over to the market for me and pick up some organic carrots and onions. I already have the tomatoes and the meat. It’ll be very tasty.”

Annie suppressed a squeak and was about to respond when Jeff came strolling up. He put his arm around her and pulled her into his side as he said warmly, “Rachel, it has been an absolute pleasure, but we have to get going. Sophie’s coming down with something, so we should get her home and tucked in.” He extended his free hand.

Rachel smiled. “Well, of course. That poor child needs to be taken care of. It’s so nice to know she has a devoted father.” As she reached forward to accept his handshake, she stopped and said with a wince, “Excuse me if I don’t shake, but my hand is really very sore after all of this _crazy_ business!” She looked up at him and grinned nervously. “You must think such horrible things about me! I’m so embarrassed!”

Jeff pshawed. “Oh, please. It’s forgotten.”

Annie rolled her eyes as she moved out of his arms and said, “I’m going back to the car.”

Rachel sighed as she watched her go. She called out, “You’ll come over soon though? We have so much to catch up on. Let’s let bygones be bygones.”

Without responding, Annie continued making her way toward the Lexus.

Jeff let his eyes follow her for a moment and then turned back to Rachel. He was slightly taken aback by the sight of her lips quivering as she watched Annie walk away.

With his most dazzling Winger smile he said, “Again, so nice to finally meet you. But of course, you being such a _caring mother_ , you understand that Annie needs some time.”

Rachel nodded rapidly. “Of course. I’ll give her some space, shall I?”

She seemed to look up at him for approval.

“Yes, that would be great. I knew you’d be considerate about this whole thing.”

Rachel relaxed her shoulders. “Right. She’s probably ashamed, keeping all those secrets from me. I should be sensitive to that.”

Jeff closed his eyes for a moment but then snapped them open and carried on, “So let her be in touch. I wish you a good night.”

As he bowed slightly and turned to make his escape, Rachel reached over and lightly touched his arm with her non-scuffed hand. He turned around to face her.

With a wink she said, “Oh, come on! I was hoping we could share a moment of _schaudenfraude_.”

Jeff stared at her curiously, a smirk forming. “Oh really?”

She nodded and leaned forward slightly with a gleam in her eye. “You aren’t upset at all that I messed up that boy. He deserves it for hurting my child and grandchild. Annie should have the best.”

“Rachel, I….”

She giggled as she said, “You understand. If _you_ had done it, you would have been convicted. So all I have to say is, _you’re welcome_.”

Jeff’s eyes widened. He didn’t know if he should run or pull her into a bear hug.

_Probably running would be the safer call_.

She tilted her head and batted her lashes twice before giving him a light shove.

“Go home. Please take care of her. And invite me over sometime. I’d like to get to know my granddaughter as well as get re-acquainted with my daughter.”

He managed to stammer, “Um, right. Of course.”

As he walked away, she shouted, “After I reorganize my kitchen cabinets tonight, I’m going to make some calls! I’ll get Sophie into Rodef Sholom! She’ll love it!” 

************************

“Jesus Christ.” Jeff shook his head.

Annie hunched down in the passenger seat as they drove toward Dresser Avenue. She said tersely, “You seem to get along with her very well.”

Jeff let out a groan and gripped the steering wheel. “I was just trying to get us out of there smoothly.”

“So Sophie’s not sick?”

“Not at all. She’s making blanket forts.”

Annie turned to study his profile. “What do you think of her?”

He let out long whistle as he kept his eyes on the road. “This may sound strange, but I don’t think I have the words.”

She smiled tightly. “Try me.”

He nodded and then gulped. “She’s intense.”

“Go on.”

“Um, clearly she has a pretty black-and-white approach to things.”

“Go on.”

He hesitated.

“She loves you.”

Annie stiffened and turned to watch the road from the side window. She mumbled, “I don’t even know if that matters.”

He quickly added, “And despite loving you, she doesn’t understand you. She’s crap at perspective taking.”

Annie’s head whipped around and she began to vehemently nod. “That’s always been her problem!”

“Oh, and she’s kind of violent.” He chuckled as he briefly met her gaze.

Annie shared a smirk with him and then said, “I’ve never seen her actually get physical before, but she can definitely pick a fight. She’s been banned from the local grocery stores.  She has to shop closer to Denver.”

Jeff let that disturbing information sink in as he continued to watch the road. After a couple minutes of silence he asked, “So are you going to see her again? Or let her know Sophie?”

Annie closed her eyes and leaned back in the seat. “I’m kind of floored that she wants to see me, actually. I thought she’d be ashamed and pretend all of this never happened.”

Jeff waited to let her collect her thoughts, turning onto Pine Street and making the snaky drive up toward Mill.

She eventually grumbled, “I suppose I should let her. Frankly I can’t see her letting me not. She’d be at our door.”

He took a deep breath and then said, “She is kind of manicky. Maybe it’s best to regulate it rather than outlaw it.”

“And I’ll probably need to if I’m to have a good relationship with Anthony.”

“My guess is yes.”

Annie continued to ponder the situation with her eyes closed for another full minute before she asked, “Maybe you could run interference? She looooves you.”

Instinctively, Jeff grinned. “Hey, who wouldn’t?”

Annie crossed her arms once again and opened her eyes. “She really admires certain people. And I’m certain you’re in that category. You probably can’t do anything that would disappoint her.”

Jeff felt the hair begin to stand on the back of his neck. “But that’s kind of creepy.”

“Of course it is. But now you understand why I had to leave. I’m the person she’s always trying to _perfect_ , the one who’s a constant disappointment. Imagine that energy directed at you 24/7.”

“Oh, I don’t have any doubts about why you left. Your mom is bonkers. Luckily, you’re the good kind of bonkers.”

Annie reached over and lightly smacked his arm.

He sighed and grabbed her hand mid swat, giving it a squeeze. “I’m really sorry you’ve had to deal with her. In all seriousness, _yes_ , I would be more than willing to help you manage her. I’m used to dealing with people like her in the course of my work.”

“Thank you. I don’t want her micromanaging Sophie.”

“We are definitely on the same page about that. I’m sure there’s some way we can have her think she’s helping and then ignore her advice. I’ll do it with my Winger charm.”

“Have I ever told you that I really love you?”

“Love you too.” 

****************************

Abed opened the door to Apartment 303. He cocked his head to one side and studied Annie’s face.

“So how did the showdown with the villain go? Give me details.”

Annie let out an exasperated sigh. “Can we please not do this right now? How is Sophie?”

Undeterred, Abed instantly shifted his attention to Jeff. “Did you defeat her? Or will there be further developments?”

Before Jeff could respond, Annie took two steps forward and pressed the palm of her hand into Abed’s chest. “She’s my _mother_! Cut it out and let us in.”

Raising one eyebrow and looking at Jeff for nonverbal confirmation, Abed moved back to let them into the apartment.

Annie pushed past him and marched into the living room. She gasped at the sight of blankets everywhere, some strewn on the floor and others draped over tabletops. Her eyes went up and spied another hanging from the ceiling lamp.

Her eyes frantically scanning the room, she asked, “Where is she?”

Abed shrugged and closed the door.

She turned to him with another gasp. “You can’t _lose_ my daughter!”

Abed nonchalantly walked over to the kitchen counter and pulled out a plate piled high with steaming noodles. He began to take out a stick of butter and a knife.

Annie watched him with an incredulous stare. “Where’s Troy?”

In response, he glanced past her. She spun around to see Troy’s head pop up from under the coffee table. “Oh hi, Annie! Jeff! We were just playing.” He grinned nervously.

Annie squinted at him. “So, Sophie’s under there with you?”

“Um, yeah. Of course she is.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. As he made his way toward the bathroom, he called out, “I’ll let you collect her and then we’ll be on our way. Thanks, Troy.”

“No problem, man.”

Annie watched as Jeff closed the bathroom door behind him. She shifted her attention back to Abed. “Why are you being so strange? Stranger than usual?”

Abed looked at her blankly. “You didn’t answer my question about the villain. I hardly think I’m supposed to be jumping up and down with glee, Annie.”

“Abed!”

“How was that? I’m trying out sarcasm. Did I do it right?”

Annie sat down on the kitchen barstool and placed her elbows on the counter. Cradling her head in her hands, she watched him smear butter over the noodles.

With a sigh, she said, “I’m sorry. I know how important story structures are to you.”

“It’s okay.” He surreptitiously glanced past her, making eye contact with Troy who was gesturing frantically as he searched through the blankets. Abed raised his eyebrows.

Troy silently mouthed, “ _I don’t know.”_

Abed quickly shifted his attention back to Annie who was staring at the buttered noodles.

She mumbled, “I don’t even know if she’s a _villain_. I think she tried to help me today, or at least avenge me.”

“Ah, so would you say she’s an avenger? What color does she wear?’

“Abed, this is not a superhero movie.”

“Color?”

“Mostly red. She likes red.”

“Ah.”

Annie reached over and picked up one of the noodles and popped it in her mouth. As she chewed, she said, “It’s just the way she goes about things. She’s too much. I totally remember why I’ve been avoiding her.”

Abed, noticing that Troy had still not been successful in his recovery efforts, awkwardly placed his arm on Annie’s shoulder to stop her from swiveling around.

She looked up at him in surprise.

“I’m here for you, Annie. Whatever you need.”

“Abed?” She squeaked.

At that moment, Britta’s door flung open and she stomped out with Sophie hoisted to her side. “Oh hey, Annie. I thought I heard you.”

_“Hi Mama!”_

Annie stared at Sophie in amazement and then whipped around to face a panic-stricken Troy who was still on his knees, this time a light strapped to his forehead.

“Annie, I can explain.”

“You _did_ lose her!”

Britta shrugged one shoulder as she said breezily, “When I came home I found her in my room with Jelly Baby. They were kinda cute. I thought it was weird she was in there by herself, though.” She handed Sophie to Annie.

“Troy!”

He grinned sheepishly. “Hey, I could have sworn she was still here somewhere.”

Abed shook his head. “This is why I told you pillows are better. I don’t think we would have lost her if we had been using pillows.”

Before Annie could respond, a giggling Sophie reaching over to grab a wad of buttered noodles startled her.

Abed watched Sophie and nodded in approval. “This was my backup plan. I was going to place the plate in the middle of the room and she was sure to come out for it.”

Annie scoffed. “My child is not an animal.”

“Sophie and I share a love of buttered noodles.”


	28. Greendale Grumblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang returns to GCC and everyone might be a little upset. Especially Abed.

The rest of winter break went by quickly. Jeff logged serious hours at the firm - _to keep the hobmuncher in cheese crackers and other fine things_ \- while Annie got a start on reading her criminology textbook. They kept Sophie entertained while managing some time alone by taking up Trobed’s liberal offers of free babysitting.

Near the end of break, Annie invited Anthony over for lunch. Jeff decided to make himself scarce so they could catch up. He spent some much-needed time at the gym working on his abs - _Annie liked his abs_ \- and was relieved to come home and find Annie in a good mood.

When he inquired about the status of her mother however, he was aware he had stepped into a sticky situation.

“She’s impossible. Do you know how many times she’s called me this week?” Annie smacked one of the throw pillows.

“I thought she was going to give you space?” He gingerly slid onto the couch next to her, eyeing the now smooshed pillow.

“My mother doesn’t know the definition of _space_ …. oh, unless she _disowns_ you.” Annie said the last part through gritted teeth.

He did his best to comfort her, reaching over to give her a shoulder massage. As he began, he said, “God, you’re tense.”

In reply, Annie said, “I’ve been putting together a scrapbook of Sophie photos for her. I’m sorting it by chronology, birth to now.”

He frowned as he continued kneading her shoulders. “Really? But I thought you were mad at her. That seems like a lot of work.”

She sighed, scooting over so he could work her right side a bit more. “It’s better than _talking_ to her. And I know it’ll keep her sated for a little while until I figure out how to handle things.”

“Sated?”

“She’s been saying she feels she’s _missed out_ on Sophie’s life. And I know my mom. She’ll calm down if I give her a bunch of pictures.” She added with a mutter, “She might even convince herself that she was there.”

Jeff felt Annie’s shoulders tighten even further. “They’re like a rock.”

“I need a release.”

“He leaned down and placed a kiss on the side of her neck. Well, if you…”

She interjected, “I’ve decided I’m going to take up karate.”

“Oookay. Yeah, um, you should do that.”

“But I need to get to an NA meeting first.” 

*********************************

Abed scanned the study room table, his eyes momentarily shining before resuming their usual neutral stare.

Troy leaned over with a grin. “What is it? Are you happy we’re all back together for spring semester? Cause I am!”

Abed continued to watch as the others settled into their seats. Britta had carpooled with them after being out most of the night before, hence she was now slowly bobbing her head behind dark sunglasses, attempting and then missing sipping her coffee. To her left, a frowning Jeff was in the middle of arranging Sophie in the booster seat next to him. Annie was cheerfully laying out various baggies of snacks in front of Sophie. His eyes went to Shirley. She was making cooing noises as she waived to a grumpy Sophie.

_“Daddy, no! Fee do id self.”_

Jeff sighed as he adjusted the straps. “No, munchkin. I have to do this.”

_“No.”_

Annie placed Hillary Rodham Kitten in front of Sophie, which to Jeff’s relief, elicited a smile.

Bored, Abed turned his attentions to Pierce, who was attempting to throw a spitball in Shirley’s direction. He kept missing, inadvertently letting the gob fly through the air, hitting the side cabinet.

Finally, Abed turned to Troy.

“Hey man, I missed you.”

Abed nodded.

“What’s up?”

Abed noticed everyone now appeared to be seated. He cocked his head.

Troy bounced in his seat. “Guys! Shh…Abed’s ready to make one of his voiceovers!”

In response, Jeff rolled his eyes and took out his phone.

_“Fee wan. Gimme.”_

“Hey.” Jeff gave her a stern look and shoved the phone back into his pocket.

Annie smiled sympathetically at him and then reached into the baby bag to find Sophie’s plastic phone.

Jeff cleared his throat and sat up straighter, placing his hands flat on the table. In his most sardonic voice, he said, “Okay, Abed. What pray tell do you have to say?”

At that moment, Britta’s head thumped face first onto the table.   Jeff stared at her in almost disbelief, as she lay there motionless.

Undeterred, Abed righted his head and said, “Strange, it almost seems like we’ve been off the air for three months and now we’re back. Has there been any character development during this time or were we all merely static as if in hibernation?”

“Oh the hell now, what?”

Annie gave Jeff a sharp look and then sat up even straighter, her hands clasped together on the table. “Abed, um, what do you mean by _off the air for three months_?”

Abed nodded vigorously. “Haven’t you noticed? It’s March. The last time we were on the network schedule it was December.”

Shirley exchanged alarmed looks with Annie and then turned her attentions to the matter. She cooed, “That’s not true, Abed. Why, it’s January. We all saw each other before the holidays, and _while I wasn’t invited_ , I heard the rest of you had a lovely Christmas at Jeff’s mother’s house.”

Jeff shirked in his seat.

Pierce scoffed. “Well, I wasn’t invited either.”

Shirley snapped at him, “Well next time don’t go running off and then show up at my front door _naked_.”

“Now, Shirley, that’s not entirely true…”

Abed slapped his hand on the table. “Enough! I’m confused. It’s March.”

Troy inched his chair a little closer. He whispered loudly, “No man, she’s right. It’s January.”

Abed’s looked down at the table, his shoulders hunched. “Oh.”

The group members, minus Britta, exchanged looks and mouthed silently to each other. Suddenly Abed’s head jerked back up.

“Okay! What have I missed?”

Shirley smiled at him sweetly. “Well Abed, today’s the first day of the new semester. Jordan and Elijah are back at school, my mother’s watching Ben so I don’t have to put him in that horrible daycare center - _sorry Annie and Jeff_ \- and Andre and I are more loving and closer than ever.”

Abed yawned.

“I saw that, boy. I know you don’t yawn. You’re not normal.”

Unperturbed by Shirley’s rudeness, Troy merely shrugged. “It’s true. I yawn in front of him sometimes just to see what he’ll do, and nothing. It’s freaky. And _adorable_.” He leaned over with a grin.

Abed nodded at him twice.

There was a snore from Jeff’s right. He continued to stare at Britta incredulously.

Annie chirped in, “I love my new semester! I’m going full on with my change in major. I enrolled in a criminology class. Rumor has it, the professor is a-ma-zing!” She clapped her hands. She then pursed her lips for a moment in thought before she resumed her cheery intonation and added, “True, he’s supposed to be a little stern, and sometimes more than scary, but I’m sure I’ll learn a ton, and I’m so excited!” She bounced in her seat.

Jeff smiled over at Annie, his eyes twinkling at her enthusiasm.

_“Yay, Mama! Yay!”_

As Pierce attempted to speak, Abed cut in, “That’s interesting, Annie. We’ve met various professors here at Greendale, most notably the evil SantaWizard, but we’ve never had a criminology professor before. Does this mean we introduce a new character?”

Annie smiled nervously. “I guess?”

“Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.”

At that moment, the Dean literally swept into the room. He had a broom and was making a sweeping gesture, dressed in a tasteful orange taffeta skirt.

“Why, hell-oo to my favorite study group! I’m still doing some spring-cleaning! It’s gonna be a dazzling semester!”

 _“Yay! Id da dean!”_  

*****************************

Annie, as usual, sat in her front row seat. She began to arrange three purple pens to her right, making sure they were lined up evenly.

_Just in case. You never know when one might stop working._

She smiled in satisfaction and then pulled out her criminology textbook, opening to chapter five.

There was a loud sigh from the front desk, where a gruff-looking balding man stared at her.

Annie looked up, her expression tightening into a pristine smile. She squeaked, “Oh, hello Professor! I didn’t see you enter!”

“What the hell are you doing?”

Annie glanced down at her textbook, frowning in confusion. “I wanted to get a good seat, so I came here early. And I like to do some reading before lecture so that I’m prepared.”

The professor shook his head and let out a low whistle. “You’re damn early. Twenty minutes. And from the looks of it…” He rose and walked over to her desk, squinting toward the textbook. “You’re kidding me? Chapter five? Today’s the first class!”

Annie looked up at him and nodded several times with a grin. “I know! I’m so excited to take this class! It’s my first criminology course. I want to go into forensics!”

His eyebrows rose slightly before quickly resuming their position. He shrugged as he turned to walk back to his desk. “Whatever works for you. I appreciate the enthusiasm. That’s new.”

Annie let out a nervous laugh. “Oh come on. It’s criminology! Surely everyone else is just as excited as I am!”

He turned around and furrowed his brow at her, his mouth twitching slightly as he attempted to suppress either a growl or a smile.

She tilted her head. “What?”

“Are you a transfer student or something?”

“No, why?”

He shrugged again and then made his way back to the front desk. He hummed to himself as he pulled out a notepad, a black sharpie, and his reading glasses.

Annie beamed over at him. “I’m so thrilled you’re here early too! It’s like we’re both so excited to start! I bet you’re preparing a wonderful lecture today!’

He gave her another confused look and glanced down at some partially drawn figures of a duck on his notepad. He raised his head, noticing she was now half standing and attempting to catch a glimpse of his materials. He promptly turned the notebook to a blank page. To his bemusement, her face fell and she sat back down.

At that moment, there was a buzzing sound. She frantically grabbed her phone out of her purse with a sheepish look. “I’m so sorry!”

He grunted, “It’s okay.   We’re not in class yet.” He began to examine his figures.

“I know! I’m sorry!” She looked at the display, her eyes widening. “I need to take this. It’s the daycare center.”

Without looking up, he shrugged again.

She jumped to her feet, scurrying to the back of the room to take the call.

About a minute later, she returned, again smiling slightly at him as she resumed her seat. “I really am sorry. She just needed her blanket for naptime. We must have left it in the car. I called her father, and he’s going to get it, so it’s not a problem. I can stay.”

The professor shook his head in exasperation as he leaned back in his chair, crossing one foot over his knee. Lacing his fingers across his stomach, he said, “You got a kid? Cause if you don’t, that was a mighty confusing string of sentences.”

Annie blushed as she began to re-arrange her pens. “Um, yes. I have a daughter. She’s two and a half.”

“Ah.”

“Her name’s Sophie.”

The professor suddenly righted himself in the chair, his foot falling back to the ground. He cleared his throat.

“Wait, are you Annie Edison?”

Annie smiled. “Why yes. How did you know?”

“I’ve heard about you. I don’t think we’ve met properly. I’m Professor Buzz Hickey.” 

*********************************

Annie leaned against the wall in the women’s restroom. Clutching her books to her chest, she frowned as Britta attempted to lean toward the mirror and examine her eyes.

“They aren’t too red are they?”

Annie groaned. “They’re fine.”

“Are you sure? Cause I’m starting to call attention to myself with the sunglasses. And I keep bumping into things. This place is way too dark.”

The toilet flushed in the middle stall and Shirley emerged. She made her way over to the sink and began washing her hands. She arched a brow as she noticed Britta’s maneuverings.

Annie caught her eye in the mirror.

Grabbing a paper towel to dry her hands, she smiled sweetly at Annie. “What is it?”

Annie’s eyes teared up slightly. “Oh, Shirley, I could really use your advice. I don’t know what to do about Sophie.”

As she continued to examine her face in the mirror, Britta instinctively scowled and mumbled, “The kid’s fine. There’s absolutely noting wrong with her.”

“I didn’t say anything was _wrong_ with her. I’m just concerned.”

“About what, An-nie?”

Annie let out a long sigh. “We’ve been trying to get her potty trained. She hasn’t seemed ready up until now, but lately she’s been showing signs. So we started, and she was doing so well, but then everything _changed_. Now she’s afraid of the potty.”

Britta snorted.

Shirley gave her best judgey face in her direction before softening her expression and resuming focusing on Annie. “Oh honey, that’s normal. My boys were a little hesitant at first too, but they figured it out. She’ll be fine.”

Annie said softly, “That’s what Jeff’s mom said.”

Shirley’s expression immediately reverted back as she grabbed another paper towel and began wiping her hands vigorously. “Oh, I see, you mean the woman the rest of Greendale has met except for me?”

Annie startled as she watched Shirley rip the sheet in half and begin kneading both parts. She squeaked, “We didn’t mean to exclude you! We knew you had plans with your family. We figured you’d rather spend time with them.”

Shirley glanced down at the paper clumps in her hands. As if coming out of a trance, she promptly turned and threw them into the waste bin, turning back around to face Annie with a beaming smile. “Oh, of course, An-nie, I do love spending time with my fa-mi-ly.”

Annie arched a brow. “Are we cool, Shirley?”

“Of course. Whatever would give you the impression that we weren’t?”

“Um, good, because I’ve been reading books about it but they aren’t helping. I could really use your advice as a mother.”

Shirley appeared to relax significantly, allowing her big purse to swing at her side. “That’s right. Even Jeffrey’s mother probably doesn’t remember these things, whereas it’s only been a few years since I’ve been through this. I’m the expert.”

Ignoring the underlying sleight, Annie nodded.   “Right. So what I’m saying is she _was_ fine, and then it abruptly changed. She’s scared now. She just looks into it and screams.”

Britta stilled.

Shirley stepped forward and furrowed her brow. “Now, An-nie, surely you’re exaggerating. Why, that child will be fine. You just need to be consistent.”

“I don’t know. We’ve tried everything. But she’s sobbing and then she runs out. And it doesn’t make any sense because recently she’s been asking about the potty, wanting to be a big girl.”

Britta broke in, “So something really did change?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“That’s the thing. Two days ago!”

Britta closed her eyes and shook her head. Wincing slightly while placing her hand on her brow, she opened her eyes and turned to face Annie and Shirley.

“It was Abed.” 

*********************************

Jeff rounded the corner, his eyes on his phone as he stared at his game score.

“Annie! Stop! Why are you doing this?!?”

Jeff’s head snapped up at the sound of Troy’s cries. He spotted Annie frantically swatting Abed in the chest as Troy looked on with a pained expression. Abed appeared unfazed.

Annie’s face was scrunched up in frustration. She swatted Abed one more time before she stepped back and glared at him. “You’re terrible. _Flushed Away!_ I can’t believe…”

Jeff was at her side. “What’s up?”

Keeping her eyes on Abed, she explained, “Abed showed Sophie an inappropriate movie.”

Jeff froze.

 

X

X

X

Once the issue of _appropriateness_ was cleared up, apologies were given, and promises were made to okay further films with Sophie’s parents, Jeff took Troy aside, attempting to have a reasonable conversation with him about limits. Although he at times doubted Troy, he did not waver in his belief that between Troy and Abed, Troy was likely the one of reason when it came to child care matters.

“So you get what I’m saying? Just because Abed thinks something is cool doesn’t mean it’s _cool cool cool_.”

Troy nodded gravely. “I get it. I’m really sorry. And just so you know, we didn’t show it to her. I was watching it, and she woke up from her nap and caught part of it. We didn’t realize she was scared.”

Jeff patted him lightly on the shoulder. “It’s okay. Could have been worse.”

Troy hunched forward dejectedly. “I don’t want Sophie to be afraid of the potty. I mean, I may have an irrational fear of automatic toilets, which may have been why I was watching the movie to desensitize myself and uh, face my fear, not that it turns out there were any automatic toilets in it, but at least I _know_ it’s irrational. Like I’m pretty darn sure. But she like doesn’t even know that, man. Poor Sophie.”

Jeff glossed over Troy’s ramblings and merely said with another pat, “She’ll be fine. Just run the viewing list past us, first.”

“Got it.”

Jeff rolled his eyes as Troy began to sniffle.

“Look, we’re not that mad.”

“Annie is.”

“She’s not, really…”

He looked up sheepishly. “You’ll let us babysit again?”

Jeff stared at him in disbelief. “Of course. Why would you think we wouldn’t?”

“Cause we _lost_ her, and now the potty thing.” Troy began to bite on one of his knuckles and whine.

Jeff gave him one more firm pat and said with as much authority and assurance as he could muster, “She wasn’t in danger.   You can still babysit.”

Troy sniffed and wiped his eye with the back of his hand. He muttered, “Really? Cause now that Sophie’s _real uncle_ is around, we weren’t sure if you guys needed us anymore.”

Overhearing his words, Annie turned from her stare down with Abed, quickly closing the distance between them as she pulled Troy into an embrace.

She said resolutely, “You will always be important to us. And you are her _real_ uncles.”

With a sigh, Jeff motioned for Abed to join them. He plodded over, dropped his backpack on the floor and allowed Annie, Jeff, and Troy to envelope him in a group hug. 

***************************

Britta sidled up to Jeff as he strutted toward the biology lab.

Ignoring her, he made sure to keep his textbook placed just so at his side.

“You’re such a dork.”

Jeff squinted as he kept his eyes ahead, careful not to look too interested in making it to his destination in time. But with Britta by his side, he was feeling a need to speed up.

“Go away.”

Britta smirked as she struggled to keep pace. “I’m going to the same class, doofus.”

“Sorry, I forgot.”

“We’re on the same biology team.”

“What can I say? It’s been a long break.”

“What is your problem? I spend Christmas with you, and now you’re acting like you don’t know me.”

He abruptly came to a stop and turned to face her. Subsequently, she slammed into his shoulder and they both winced.

“You want to know why I don’t want to talk to you right now? I don’t know…maybe it’s because rumor has it you’re dating a professor, a professor who happens to be a friend of mine, and frankly the last thing I want to hear are details about what the two of you _do_.”

Britta opened her mouth wide in protest.

He continued, “So I’m going to avoid you. And him. I don’t want to know anything about it. If you can both agree to not discuss it with me, then maybe, just maybe we can revisit things and I will let you both bask in my presence. But alas, until then, I don’t want any one-on-one deep meaningful, what is he thinking, _oh god the sex is so good or the sex is so bad_ type of conversations with you.”

“Are you finished?”

“God, I hope so. If you will excuse me….”

Before she could stop him, he sauntered quickly, if that was even a thing, down the hallway. She stared after him in bewilderment, marveling at how he always attempted to do his best model walk, even in the hallways of Greendale. She frowned as she wondered what Annie thought about it.

Jeff surreptitiously glanced over his shoulder to make sure she wasn’t following. He then rounded the corner, his face lighting up as he spied Annie waiting for him in their prearranged spot. He took a moment to take in the sight of her sitting on the bench, dressed in a knee-length navy skirt and medium purple sweater, her legs crossed primly with biology book balanced on her lap. His eyes lingered on her tapping of a purple pen against her cheek. She appeared deep in thought.

“Milady?”

She raised her head and smiled coyly at him. “Hey.”

He sat down next to her, leaning over so that he could see the page in her book. “What is so interesting there?”

“Lots of things.” She placed her hand near her clavicle, a pinkness spreading over the same area.

This did not escape his notice. He scooted over even closer and draped his arm over her shoulders. He ducked his head so that she could hear him clearly as he said in a low growl, “While I love to see you so studious, you missed my strut.”

She glanced up at him, her eyes shining in mock annoyance. “You’re terrible.”

“I did it for you.”

Britta, who had been slowed down slightly by a screeching Garrett, finally came around the corner. She stopped as she watched them.

“God, get a room.”

Despite Britta’s retching sounds, the kiss continued.

Leonard stood back up from his space at the drinking fountain and took a few moments to take in the sight. He then turned to Britta. Giving his best Leonard-knowing grin, he said, “That’s what I told them at the Tranny Dance.”

She rolled her eyes and decided maybe she should skip biology after all. As she turned to leave, Troy slammed into her.

“Hey!”

He smiled apologetically. “Sorry, Britta. You were just standing there, but um, most people would be walking.”

Britta glanced back over her shoulder with a scowl and then firmly pushed Troy back around the corner.   She continued until they were several feet down the corridor and he was up against a wall.

He looked down at her, a slight squeak to his voice as she said, “Um, so, uh, what are we doing here? Cause I can’t. You’re dating evil SantaWizard.”

She dropped her hand from his chest and stared at him in disbelief. “I am not trying anything! Oh my god. Wait…how come you know about that? And how come Jeff knows about it?”

“About the Wizard?”

“Yeah, about…him.” She glanced off to the side.

Troy shrugged. “Abed told me. He said I shouldn’t try to get with you.” His eyes widening, he gasped, “Not that I mean I like you like that. Cause I don’t. That would be ridiculous.”

Britta, lessening her defiant posture, frowned. “That would be weird. Aren’t you and Abed….?” She looked back up at him and waited for a response.

Troy nodded resolutely. “Of course. Life partners. Soul mates. He’s the best.”

Britta smiled. “Right.”

His voice in a tremble, he quickly added, “But Abed said it would be okay if, you know, hypothetically speaking, we were to go out, not that I’m wanting to do that cause if you’re in a thing with the Wizard then that wouldn’t be appropriate, but you know, again hypothetically if you were available, Abed would be cool with it. I just have to devote seventy five percent of my time to him.”

Britta nodded as if this was the most logical thing in the world. “Got it. But you know, even if I weren’t… dating the Wizard, _not that I’m admitting that I am cause that’s crazy cause I don’t really date people_ , we’re _roommates_ , Troy. Even I know that would be a bad idea.”

Troy’s voice rose another octave as he quickly stated, “But it would only be twenty five percent of a thing. So it’s not even really. We’d be friends. But we could um, do other stuff too. And don’t worry, cause I would make sure Abed was not around for that. I don’t think he’d want to be. Unless you wanted him to be. Okay, forget I said that unless you don’t want to forget I said that.”

She continued to nod absentmindedly, pausing for a few Troy hopeful moments before shutting him down. “I said it’s not a good idea. And the Wizard.”

“You just said you weren’t dating him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, I didn’t really mean that, okay. I was just getting at the fact that I don’t want it broadcast around the whole school. Cause it probably won’t even work out. And we haven’t even talking about if we’re _exclusive_ ….” She trailed off and looked into space.

“Britta?”

Paling, she whispered, “Oh god, what if I’m in an exclusive relationship and I don’t even know it! Oh no….I have to take care of something. Copy your notes?”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

“Thanks.” She leaned up and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek before she scurried off down the hall.

Almost instantly, Abed appeared at his side.

“She’s not worth it.”

Troy nodded, a dejected look on his face.

Noticing this, Abed looked at him intently. “But you care. Why do you care? I thought we were enough.”

Troy turned to Abed with a startle. “We are! You are! I wouldn’t have asked her if you hadn’t said it was okay!”

Abed cocked his head. “You asked her?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Oh.”

“She said no. So, it’s cool, right? We’re cool cool cool?”

Although Abed was looking at him blankly, Troy could have sworn he caught a snippet of an angry gleam.

“Of course, Troy.”


	29. Angsty Celebrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shirley and Andre remarry

“Andre’s kinda hot.”

Annie almost spit out her appletini at Britta’s words.

On her left, a tiara-crowned Shirley nodded, a giddy expression on her face. She held up her hands and spread her fingers wide.

“Um hm. He’s mighty fine. Believe it or not ladies, although he’s always been a stud, he’s gotten finer with age.”

Resuming the grip on her bag, she added with a lilt in her voice, “Sometimes earlier matches are re-ward-ed.”

Britta slurred her words slightly as she said, “I have to admit, I wasn’t always a fan of his after the way he treated you, and I don’t believe in marriage at all, but even I have to admit his proposal was _sexy as hell_. I mean Boyz II Men and all that. Props to you guys.”

She lifted her drink and clinked it with Shirley’s club soda.

With a worried look, Annie said from her spot next to Shirley across the booth, “Britta, maybe you should slow down. Shirley’s not drinking, and I’m not planning on having much. The wedding’s in two days. We need to keep level heads and get on with planning.”

Britta rolled her eyes and motioned for three shots from the server, who had been on her way back to the table.

Shirley smiled indulgently and said in a sing-songy voice, “An-nie it’s my bachelorette party, or shall we say my _re-bachelorette-party_. I don’t mind if Brit-ta has a few, as long as one of us keeps an eye on her tonight.”

In a lower voice, she added in a swift and abrupt manner, “And I’m certainly not having her stay with me, so you’ll be sure to take her home with you and make sure she doesn’t choke on her own vomit.”

Annie groaned as a scowling Britta reached across the table and smacked Shirley on the shoulder.

“Hey, I can hold my liquor!”

“Sure, honey.”

Britta waived a hand dismissively and awkwardly took another gulp of her drink before she said, “But back to Andre, _damn_ Shirley, you did good.”

Shirley began to preen.   “Well, thank you. He’s pretty good in bed these days, too. He’s extra attentive.”

Annie and Britta grinned at each other in a mixture of fascination and incredulity as Shirley continued to puff out her chest.

Annie accepted the round of cranberry vodka shots from the server and slid one over to Britta. She frowned at the two remaining, looking up at Shirley for a moment with a silent question. Shirley shook her head. Annie shrugged and placed the third glass next to her own.

Britta clinked her shot glass with Annie’s and then Shirley’s water glass and gulped back her shot, smiling in satisfaction. “Well, I’m glad to hear it. God, after what you said about the two bland orgasms, I was worried. You don’t deserve that. I’m glad he’s stepped up his game. Maybe all that time with the strip…” she was cut off as Annie jabbed her foot onto hers.

“What?”

Shirley took a few deep breaths and muttered something to herself.

Annie shoved a glass of water toward Britta and said quickly, “That is really great that he’s taking things more seriously these days, Shirley. I’m so happy you two are getting remarried.”

With a sigh of relief, Shirley said to Annie, “Thank you. It just feels right, you know?”

Annie nodded, her expression soft and understanding.

Snapping her head up from her examination of her water glass, Britta blurted, “But you know you don’t have to remarry him, right? You guys seem to be getting along fine. Why make it messier?”

“Brit-ta, I _want_ to remarry him.”

With a look of genuine confusion on her face, Britta shrugged.

Annie took a deep breath and then tossed back Shirley’s shot. She steadied herself for a moment before she addressed Britta.

“Just because you don’t believe in marriage, doesn’t mean Shirley can’t.”

Turning her attentions back to Shirley, she chirped, “I think it’s just so _great_! To know you both are on the same page, and you’re _together_ with your _kids_ , and he’s made that commitment to be with all of you again, and he wants to declare it _publically_ , that he is _there_ for you and _the kids_ , why it’s a-ma-zing!” She did a little bounce in her seat and clapped her hands together, grinning with excitement.

Britta snorted and exchanged a bemused look with Shirley. “Wow, you seem to be really into this marriage thing. So have you hinted enough to Jeff, or do you want me to yell at him for you? Cause I won’t, even though I love you, because I don’t think you guys should get married. Not because I don’t _love you_ , but because _I do_ …”

Smacking her hand over her mouth and her eyes going wide, she sputtered, “Oh god, did I just say _I do_? That’s what my mom said, and her mother…girls, you may not know this but I come from a long line of married women and mothers.”

Annie patted Britta on the shoulder as she sipped her earlier unfinished drink.   Her words falling more freely, she said, “It’s okay, Britta. You don’t have to be a married woman or mother.”

“An-nie, honey, Brit-ta brings up a good point. Have you and Jeffrey been making any plans?”

Annie removed her hand from Britta’s shoulder and clutched her appletini. Staring at it and keeping her head slightly bowed, she mumbled, “Maybe.”

“Whoa.”

Annie sighed as she looked up from her drink. Feeling the warmth of her combined drinks flowing through her, she said, “We’ve bandied the idea around, but not really _seriously_. It’s more in the future at some point when it makes sense. I’ve told him I don’t need it, he keeps giving me mixed messages as to if he wants to do it, but I don’t know if any of it matters. We’re on the same page as far as staying together goes, which is good enough for me.”

Shirley shook her head. “Lord.”

Annie scowled at her and then continued, “He agreed to move with me for my graduate school, he talks about finding a place in a good school district for Sophie,” she lowered her voice and muttered the rest, “ and we’ve kinda talked about maybe giving her a sibling.”

Shirley snapped to attention and shared a gasp with Britta.

“An-nie!”

“What the hell? You guys did talk about it? Cause he was being a goober. Even I picked up on that.”

Shirley cast Britta a quizzical look.

Britta nodded with smug satisfaction. Slamming her fist down on the table, she said, “But you know why, right? Cause Ian and I have been discussing it, see his take on it is that…”

\-- “Will you be bringing him as a date to my wedding? You know he’s welcome.”

Britta looked at her with annoyance and shook her head. “God Shirley, I don’t take _dates_ to weddings.” Turning back to Annie, she continued, “Jeff’s massively insecure. He thinks if he has a biological child with you, that you and him will be good. He hates that douchebag ex of yours, _not that I blame him at all cause that guy creeps me out_ , but he knows he’s technically Sophie’s father, and he can never have that you know, genetic connection to her. So part of him thinks he’s disposable. A baby would fix it.”

Annie’s eyes grew with sadness as she took in Britta’s words.

Britta droned on, “But see, Ian and I know it won’t. Plus biology? Pfffffft….that’s crap. I’m not biologically related to my cats, and I would do _anything_ for them. They’re _my babies_. That’s why I don’t need, you know, actual babies. And thank god no one’s pressuring me for _that_. So I hope Jeff doesn’t press it too much, cause you know you’ll have to hold firm and talk him out of it.”

Annie stared at Britta for several moments of awkwardness, as Shirley did her best to say a silent prayer.

Annie took a few deep breaths as she pressed the space between her eyes. Looking back up, she said, “Britta, I never said I was going to have another baby right now. I meant we’ve talked about it a little. We might get around to it sometime when I’m done with school, but we haven’t made any definite plans.”

Shirley reached across the table and grabbed Britta’s hand, giving it a warning squeeze as she gave the most menacing of Shirley stares. She then turned to Annie and said in a careful tone, “That’s reassuring, An-nie. And goodness knows you and Jeffrey would make some fine looking babies, for white people that is. But I’d hate to see a baby born out of wedlock.”

Annie bristled. “Do we have to hash this out again, Shirley?”

Shirley continued to squeeze Britta’s hand and, ignoring her gasps, replied, “No, of course not. I know now the situation with Sophie was different. And I’m sorry I was so judgmental about it before I really understood.”

“Thanks.”

“But you and Jeffrey love each other. Any damn fool could see he’s completely smitten with you, and you with him. I guess I just don’t see a reason why you two wouldn’t make it official.”

Annie let out a long sigh. “It’s kind of silly to think about getting married. I’m only twenty-one.”

Shirley gave a nod and smiled softly. “And you’re already a family.”

Annie stared off toward the bar area, appearing lost in thought. After a few moments she said in a low voice, “I know. Like I said, we might. But the last time we really discussed it, we were pretty drunk at my birthday party.”

Britta moved her finger toward her open mouth. “You mean the make out party? Puke. Which I did, but not until later. Don’t tell Chang. I told him he’s the one who ruined Ian’s loafers. Oh, and don’t tell Ian, cause I told him it was Chang.”

Annie exchanged looks with Shirley, and then they both burst out laughing. Britta’s mouth fell open in indignation and perhaps more than a bit of confusion.

Shirley scooted over to Annie and placed her arm around her shoulders. “Well, I hope you and Jeffrey will do whatever you think is best. But think about what I said.”

Annie smiled and leaned her head against Shirley. “I will.”

“And I don’t agree with Bri-ta on the child subject. I think you and Jeffrey having a child would be a wonderful thing.”

“Awww….thank you, Shirley.”

“You’re welcome.”

Annie sighed as she sat back up. “Like I said, we won’t be making a baby anytime soon.” A blush coming over her cheeks, she added with a sly grin, “We’re just really enjoying _practicing_.”

She then hiccupped before she took a giant swig of her drink.

Britta and Shirley’s eyes went wide. As Britta slid back in the booth in disgust, Shirley leaned in even closer.

“Okay, you didn’t want to tell me everything when you first got together, but spill it. What’s Jeffrey like in the sack? I want details this time. _Details_.”

As Annie and Shirley erupted into giggles, Britta rolled her eyes and stumbled to her feet. She grabbed a white satin sash embroidered with the word, “Bride” and tossed it at Shirley’s head. She then walked over to the bar and shouted over her shoulder, “I’m going to get us some more waters. We need to sober up.”

Shirley listened to Annie whisper something in her ear. A giddiness overcoming her, she barely registered the fabric covering her face and said, “Damn, Lacey’s not here yet. She’d love this!”

Britta called out, “ _I_ don’t need to hear this. La la la la la. Blah blah blah blah blah.” 

**********************************

Jeff tapped the bar to get the bartender’s attention. He pushed over the now empty pitcher and made a motion for a refill.   As he turned outward, Andre sidled up to him with a lazy smile.

“This has been a pretty great bachelor party, Jeff. You really know your stuff.”

Jeff scoffed. “Well, of course. This is the classiest unclassy place I could pick. Cause see, you don’t want to have it too formal. You need to be laid back, relaxed. At the same time, it’s a special occasion.”

“So that’s why we have fancy beer and non-fancy beer?’

“Precisely.”

Troy stumbled over to Jeff’s other side, reached around him, and grabbed the now fill pitcher. Jeff smirked at him and turned back to Andre. As he was about to add a comment, Troy said, “And fancy nachos. Those were pretty good.   Abed says we should get more.”

Andre laughed. “Oh, yeah, we definitely should.” He turned to Jeff and said, “Seriously, man, I want to thank you for doing this for me. I know you haven’t always been a fan of mine.”

Jeff shrugged and leaned backward, placing his hands on the bar. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Andre steeled his gaze and said, “Come on. Let’s not bullshit this. You think I’m not good enough for Shirley.”

Jeff feigned nonchalance and began scanning the room as he spoke. “She seems to love you for some reason. And Annie’s always telling me I need to give people a chance. So yes, I’m giving you a chance. But notice I didn’t take us to a _strip club_.”

Andre winced.

Jeff caught his expression and with a smirk of satisfaction added, “So if you can promise you will treat Shirley with the respect she deserves and be there for your kids, then yes, I will become a big fan of yours. But you have to earn it. And you have to earn _Shirley_ every day you two are alive.”

“That’s actually kind of romantic.”

Jeff opened his mouth to speak when Troy interjected, his face gazing wistfully across the room, “I don’t get romance sometimes. Like how do you let someone you love know you maybe made a mistake? That you thought something would be nice, that you were tempted by it, but in the end you realize that what you have is what you want. That it’s what you need. You don’t want to go anywhere else. You love their big brown soulful eyes and it’s tearing you up that they might have misunderstood or think you won’t be there for them?”

Jeff raised his eyebrows and was again about to impart his wisdom when a clueless Andre slapped Troy on the shoulder. “Don’t I know it! But please don’t you get on my case too! I love Shirley’s big brown soulful eyes and I’m making things up to her every day. I’m no longer looking for something flashy or seemingly easy somewhere else, okay?”

Troy looked up at him with a frown. “Huh?”

Jeff stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. Leaning down to Troy’s ear, he said in a low voice, “Go tell Abed I’m ordering more nachos.”

Troy broke out in a grin, gave a nod, and then ambled off with the pitcher toward Abed, who was in the middle of playing darts by himself across the room. Jeff watched him go, a mixture of pride and bemusement on his face.

Pierce took that moment to waltz over to Andre, extending his hand. At Andre’s quizzical look, he explained, “To make peace. And congratulate you and Shirley.”

Andre immediately scowled. “Oh hell no. You’re taking up too much of her time. I don’t need to share her with you.”

Jeff tensed and motioned off a scoffing Pierce toward the dartboard. He then rejoined Andre at the bar and said with all seriousness, “See this is where I have a problem with you. Clearly Shirley’s business is important to her. She has a dream. A dream to make something of herself, to provide for her kids, since you _abandoned_ her. Now that you’re back, you can’t just expect that dream to die. See, although you’re getting married in two days, she knows, deep down, she cannot count on you. She needs a backup plan.”

Andre squinted at him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Whoa, that’s rude. She doesn’t need a backup plan, which is why she doesn’t need to get involved with that jerk in some crazy business scheme.”

Jeff pursed his lips and inched a little closer. “I’ll agree with you that Pierce is full of crap, but the business scheme isn’t crazy.   Because, see, it’s _Shirley’s_ business scheme. And if there’s one thing I know about Shirley, it’s that she’s a seriously kick-ass businesswoman. I suspect you feel threatened by that. If she has her own business and can provide for herself and the kids, why would she need you? But see, that’s the wrong way to look at it. Even if you and Shirley do work out, don’t you want her to be with you because she _wants to_ rather than she _has to_? So if she has her business and stays with you, won’t that make you the luckiest guy in the world?”

Andre nodded for several moments, apparently deep in thought. Finally, he said, “You’re absolutely right.”

“I always am.” 

*********************************

Shirley and Andre had a fairly uneventful rehearsal the night before the ceremony. Even with Shirley’s lateness, Andre was understanding and took it all in stride. The next day, they were successfully re-married. Jeff even let Shirley strong-arm him into giving the toast. After sharing some slightly sarcastic words laced with a heck of a lot of sweetness, Jeff ended with,

“To Shirley and Andre. Shirley, you are one of the strongest women I know. Half the time I don’t agree with you on things, but I admire your singular focus and your commitment. So if this guy is the one you want, then I trust you. Because, see, you always come out on top in the end. Because you’re a winner, Shirley. And Andre, I don’t know you nearly as well as I know Shirley, but I know during this round, you’ve stood by her, even with all the Greendale weirdness. You were there for Elijah and Jordan, and you were there this past year for Ben. And you swore you’d be there for Ben no matter what, and I always respected you for _that_. So, you two wanted to get re-married. And you did. You two are proof that sometimes I’m wrong about things. Don’t spread that around. Congratulations.”

“Oh, that’s nice!” 

xxxxxxxx

Annie grinned at Jeff as he settled back in next to her at their table. She leaned over and whispered, “That was a very Winger wedding speech.”

He shrugged and suppressed a smile. “It’s the only kind of speech I know how to give.”

She took his hand underneath the table as the rest of the study group talked amongst themselves around the table.   She added in a low voice, “It’s almost as if you were okay with weddings.”

He frowned as he looked down at their hands. “I went to Nancy’s wedding with you, remember? I was fine with that.”

Annie sighed. “I made you go to that with me.”

“Well, yeah, because she’s your friend. Of course I’d go to your friend’s wedding with you. And well, she’s nice. It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

Annie looked up at him, noticing he was regarding her with a confused expression.

“Really?”

He glanced around, seeing the others were all getting up to take the party to the dance floor.

He leaned down and whispered, “Of course. Look, haven’t we been over this? I thought we were on the same page. One day, you and I will be up there” he gestured with this head toward the Britta-decorated floral arbor in the front of the room, “or we can elope. I don’t really care. But we’ll do it. But I’m not getting you a diamond. That flashy thing Shirley is wearing is blinding me.”

Annie let out a squeak.

His eyes widening, he added, “What is it? Did I misunderstand? Crap, I thought…”

Shaking her head, she reached up to place one finger over his mouth, which instantly stopped him.

She whispered, “No, you didn’t. I just wasn’t sure if you remembered. Or if that’s what you really wanted.”

He carefully removed her finger from his mouth, interlaced his fingers with hers, and while looking directly in her eyes said in a low voice, “It’s definitely what I want. I just want to make sure I don’t panic-propose to you again. It’s not a very attractive quality of mine. And you know I like to be stunningly attractive.”

She continued to smile at him, a blush forming over her cheeks. “Well, there is no rush.”

“That’s right.”

She lifted herself up slightly so that she could give him a well-deserved kiss.

_“Yay! Kissy! Mama, Fee wan dance. Peas Mama? Und kiss Fee.”_

Jeff smirked against Annie’s lips and mumbled, “She’s still a cockblocker.”

“Jeff.”

He turned and leaned over so that Sophie could see him. He waved at her and she began to bob her head in delight.

_“Daddy! Daddy dance! Daddy kiss Fee.”_

As Annie laughed, Jeff motioned over to Sophie and then pulled her up on his lap. He made sure to squeeze her not uncomfortably tight, but with a loving firmness. He gave a show of various smacking kisses on her forehead. 

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Troy eyed the array of non-no-no punch on the side table with a scowl before he turned his attentions to the wedding cake. As he reached for it, Britta smacked his hand.

“You can’t have that right now!’ She hissed as she adjusted the strap of her tight light pink dress and scrunched up her face in disgust.

He couldn’t help but take what he thought was a surreptitious look at the way the fabric clung to her shape.

“Where’s Professor Duncan?” He attempted to ask the question with a breeziness.

_Yes, definitely breezy. Nonchalant even._

She squinted at him in confusion. “Why would he be here?”

“Cause you two, _aren’t_ dating?” Troy popped up his eyebrows in an effort at sarcasm, but his mouth remained level.

She let out a long sigh and then began fidgeting with a floral arrangement on the side table, adding sprigs of thyme she happened to have in a hidden pocket in her dress.

“Fine. So we’re dating. But that doesn’t mean he’s like my _date_ now for these things. I’ve clarified we’re not exclusive.”

Troy nodded as slowly and seriously as he possibly could, pushing down a mixture of hopefulness and angst as he thought about Abed. He wondered why things had to be this complicated.

Clearing his throat, he said, “That smells nice.”

Smiling with pinkness in her cheeks, she studied the flowers and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Thanks.”

“So….”

She looked up from her meticulous arrangement, her eyes open and questioning…

Her eyes went wide as she looked over his shoulder. He turned and was faced with the reality of Professor Duncan in a very professory-vest with his professory glasses chasing a giddy (Kevin?) Chang into the room.

“Britta, save me!” Kevin whined as she ran and hid behind her, cowering down with this hands over his head.

Professor Duncan approached, and taking a moment to adjust his professory-glasses, said, “Now, Kevin, you come with me this instant! You know we weren’t invited to this wedding.”

“But I just want a piece of cake.” He peaked out from behind Britta and looked at Troy. “You know what I’m talking about, right man?”

Troy shrugged but then quickly fixed his best glare over at the professor.

Britta smiled a little too brightly and said, her blush deepening and with an even more sexy push of her hair behind her ear, said, “I thought you guys were in a poker game?”

Professor Duncan let out a low whistle, his hands on his hips. He let his annoying and probably beady eyes skim down Britta’s dress, but then he quickly re-met her gaze.   “We were. And he’s been doing so well in behaving. Buzz and I taught him the basics. But then he took off down the hall. I’m really very sorry. I know how much effort you’ve put into this wedding reception.”

Britta continued to smile. “Oh, yeah, I um, know. It’s um, fine. Ummm…”

\--“Can I have cake now? Please, Britta?”

She rolled her eyes. “No. Shirley and Andre haven’t even cut the cake, and I don’t think either one of them wants you here after everything.”

“After what?”

“God, I keep forgetting you have amnesia.”

“Changnesia.” After a slight pause he asked, “So cake?”

“No.”

Duncan let out an exasperated sigh. “And he’s been doing so well.” Turning his attention to a surprised Troy he added, “Did you know with his memory wiped, he’s shown a proclivity for Spanish? Not _fake Spanish_ , but actual Spanish. It’s the most interesting case of my career.”

“¿Por qué me gusta esto?”

Duncan snapped his attention back to Chang. “We are leaving. Right now. Come on.” He stepped over toward Britta, and gingerly placing his hand on her hip, reached around her to grab Chang by his collar.

It did not escape Troy’s notice when Britta and Duncan lingered for a moment, a quick kiss placed on Britta’s cheek.

And then with a wiggle of the eyebrows, Duncan and Chang were gone. Troy looked at Britta, who was staring off after them while biting her lip.

He then felt eyes on him and turned to see Abed watching him curiously from next to the punchbowl. 

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Jeff sat at the now emptied table, his eyes lighting up as Annie returned from the dance floor. As she attempted to retake her seat, he pulled her onto his lap.

With a swat, she laughed and said, “You can’t just pull _me_ onto your lap now! What will people think?”

He murmured into her neck, “I don’t think anyone notices. They’re all dancing.” He lifted his head up and cast a look back at the dance floor, eyeing Sophie who was attempting to do some sideways steps in between Jordan and Elijah. The boys were coaxing her to the left and then to the right, laughing as she somewhat clumsily copied their movements.

Annie smiled. “She’s having a lot of fun.”

Jeff nodded.

Annie turned to look at him and said with an impish stare, “Come on, let’s dance!”

Listening to the change in music, he let out a groan. “They’re going to start doing the electric slide. I don’t do the electric slide, Annie.”

Giving her best Disney eyes, she said, “We have to practice for our one-day wedding, Jeff. You don’t want to look foolish at our own wedding, do you?”

He suppressed a smile. “Hm, so elopement’s off the table then?”

“Yes, Jeff. We’re not eloping.”

With an exaggerated eye roll, he motioned her off his lap and stood. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

Turns out Jeff was pretty good at the electric slide. Annie almost thought he was actually having fun.

At their side, a deliriously happy Sophie continued to dance her heart out. 

************************************

Abed turned away from the joyous crowd, attempting to catch sight of the dark figure that he could have sworn had scurried past the study room. He let go of Troy’s hand and mumbling something about needing to get some air, wandered off down the hall. Feeling the hair stand up on the back of his neck, he only made it halfway before he felt the urge to go back. 

************************************

The Darkest Timeline

Spring, 2012

Annie looked up at Jeff, her arms wrapped around his shoulders and his left arm gripping the side of her now-rounded waist. She smiled and said, “I can’t believe we actually got married.”

As they continued to dance, she held out her left hand and took a moment to admire her shiny diamond ring.

Letting out a chuckle, he said, “Hey, Jeff Winger delivers. Plus we couldn’t let _this_ , “ he indicated with a tilt of his head at her belly, “as Shirley would say, be born out of wedlock. It wouldn’t be proper, Annie.”

She rolled her eyes.

With a smirk, he added, “Plus I may have wanted to marry you. Maybe just a little bit.”

“I kind of figured. Ditto.”

He leaned down and she inched up so that they could share a smooch.

_“Daddy, Mama, no kiss! Fee wan!”_

They paused in their kissing and stared down at Sophie who had wandered over to them.  She was still wearing her pink lace flower girl dress and looked up at them with pleading eyes while clutching her bear.

Jeff squinted at her. “Hey munchkin, you’re going to have to get used to _sharing_. Starting this summer you won’t be the baby anymore. “

Sophie pouted as she tightened her grip on the bear. _“Fee not baby?”_

Jeff laughed and shook his head. “Not anymore. We told you, remember? There will be a new baby. And you’ll have to look out for the baby. It’ll be fun.”

Annie swatted Jeff’s lone arm. “Stop it. She doesn’t understand.”

Sophie looked up at them with sad eyes. _“Fee not baby. Baby in Mama tummy.”_ She gestured upward.

Oblivious to Sophie’s feelings, Jeff replied, “That’s right, munchkin.” He turned back to Annie. “See, she understands. Now let’s keep our first dance going, Mrs. Winger.”

Annie took a moment to regard Sophie with a frown. Lifting her hand to her mouth, she said, “We should let her dance with us.”

“We’ve cheated death, Annie. We earned this. We can dance with her later.”

With that, he reached down to pat Sophie lightly and condescendingly on the head before sashaying Annie away. Annie laughed uproariously at his confidence.

Abed watched from across the room as Sophie stood with her shoulders slouched forward, her lips beginning to quiver.

He stroked his mustache and waltzed over to her, bending down and tenderly picking her up. He fished a small piece of black felt from his pocket and handed it to her.

_“Wad dat?”_

“It’s your evil mustache. Keep it in your pocket, kid. I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”

 

 

 


	30. Wartime Injuries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trobed fight, Annie is protective of Britta, and Jeff attempts more emotional growth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you lovely readers have inquired into my wellbeing. I was away for some needed r & r, but I’m back. ☺

As the spring semester continued, the Greendale Gang was faced with some significant challenges. Annie continued to see Anthony but avoided her mother. Jeff took numerous awkward phone calls from Rachel and used his powers of persuasion to appeal to her ego as well as gain Annie some much-needed space.

Kevin continued to rapidly progress in Spanish, having enrolled in a Spanish course taught by the new and likely to be very temporary competent Spanish professor. Ian continued to act as his guardian and, with some more than minimal effort, was able to keep Kevin away from the vents.

The Dean had some affected-mysterious rivalry going on with the Vice Dean of the Air Conditioning Repair School, but despite the Dean attempting to clue everyone in, no one seemed very interested in it. Annie politely suggested to him that he focus his time on building a better working relationship with City College, specifically with Dean Spreck.

Shirley and Pierce needed to fight hard for their business after the school made an ill-advised deal with the Subway corporation. Their attempt at espionage resulted in a mess as Britta was caught in a sex scandal with Subway, the Subway corpohumanoid.

In the middle of this fiasco, Apartment 303 was being fumigated and consequently, Abed, Troy and Britta were displaced. Troy and Abed were able to convince Pavel to let them into the dorms, and they earnestly began work on constructing a pillow fort. After Annie discovered that Britta was attempting to join a sleep study and didn’t know what to do with her cats, she offered her a place to stay for a few days.

Jeff looked down at Annie with a groan. “Why on earth did you do that?”

She lifted her head and tilted it to the side. With her best Disney eyes, she replied, “She has no where to go. And she’s our friend.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against his locker. “She’ll be fine in the sleep lab. She told me all about it this morning.”

Her eyes instantly narrowing, Annie swatted him in the chest. He stepped back a little, a giddy grin on his face.

With a sputter, Annie hissed, “You _knew_ she didn’t have a home? What is _wrong_ with you?”

Attempting unsuccessfully to suppress his bemusement, he replied, “I don’t see why she can’t stay with Ian. Apparently, and for the millionth time I mention that _I don’t want to know anything about it_ , they are in some sort of relationship. He can take her in.”

Annie frowned and appeared to ponder his words for a moment before she shook her head.

“She told me he offered but she didn’t feel comfortable with it.”

With a roll of the eyes, Jeff asked, “What the hell are they doing?”

“I thought you didn’t want to know.”

“I don’t.”

She let out a weary sigh and shook her head. “I have no idea, actually. Britta says they’re not exclusive, and she doesn’t want him to get the wrong impression if she stays with him, even if it is only for a few days.”

Jeff began to thump his head back against the locker. “Even I would have let you stay with me for a few days when we were in the beginning of our thing, when we weren’t technically in a _monogamous_ relationship.”

She ignored his finger quotes on _monogamous_ as she carefully picked at some sticker residue on the locker next to his. She smiled tightly at his comment.

“This is different. Britta needs to have _control_.”

He pulled his lips inward and nodded, holding back his laughter. She suddenly stopped her efforts and slapped him on the bicep.

“I am not a control freak, Jeff!”

“I never said you were.”

With a frustrated stammer, she said, “Look who’s talking with the shush _controlling_ hand gestures. You do that to Troy and Abed all the time. And you do it to Sophie.”

“Oh come on, they all love it. Kids need consistency.”

Rolling her eyes, she picked up her backpack from the floor and strapped it back on.   Looking up at him with defiance, she said, “Britta’s staying with us. I told her she can have the couch, and she was really appreciative.”

He looked off to the side and mumbled, “Fine. God, why do always make me feel like I should be a better person?”

Softening her face, she reached over and grabbed his hand. “I love you just the way you are. Let’s go pick up Sophie from daycare.”

He found himself grinning as he followed her lead.

“It won’t be so bad having Britta stay with us. It’ll be like a week, maybe two, tops.”

“Annie.” 

**********************************

The Dean dropped in on the pillow fort construction.   
  
Leaning in with an exaggerated mock-whisper, he addressed Troy and Abed, “I just learned that the Guinness Book of World Records has a listing for the largest pillow or blanket fort!”

Abed and Troy exchanged surprised looks.

After the initial excitement in thinking they were on the same page however, they soon realized they might be looking for different things. 

********************************

Annie tapped her purple pen against her binder, humming as she read her biology textbook.

Britta suddenly slapped the dining table. “Okay, stop it! I know I’m a terrible person!”

Annie looked up in alarm, her head tilting as she studied Britta’s face.

She whispered, “Can you please keep it down? Jeff’s getting Sophie ready for bed. And what do you mean you’re a terrible person? That’s not true. You’re one of my best friends.”

Shirking down in her chair, Britta shoved her textbook to the side and mumbled, “I can’t believe you study at home. It feels like we’re in the study room. Hey, and we haven’t talked about your mom lately. Has she met Sophie again? What’s she like as a grandma, err, bubbe?”

Undeterred by Britta’s clumsy attempt at deflection, Annie asked, “What’s wrong?”

Britta shrugged and continued to slouch in her chair. “Do you have any wine?”

Annie let out a soft sigh and nodded, standing and then walking over to the kitchen. Britta followed her, shuffling her bare feet against the floor tiles. Annie uncorked a bottle of red wine and poured a little into two glasses Britta had gotten out of the cupboard. She eyed Britta curiously as they clinked their glasses. After a long swig that finished off her drink, Britta placed her glass back on the counter. Annie stopped her from reaching for the bottle.

With a firm tone, she said, “I’m putting it away. You can tell me what’s wrong _sober_.”

Reluctantly nodding, Britta plopped onto a barstool. Holding her head in her hands, she mumbled, “I messed up.”

Annie arched a brow and carefully sat down next to her.

At the silence, Britta elaborated, “I had sex with Subway.”

Annie smiled tightly. “I may have heard something about that right before we left campus today.”

“Shirley?”

“Yeah.”

“God, I’m such a loser.”

Annie began to rub Britta’s shoulder as she said, “No, you’re not. Shirley told me she and Pierce made you do it…”

\--“They didn’t make me have _sex_ with him. Shirley was kind of horrified when she found out about that. She thinks she’s ruined my relationship with Ian.”

Annie looked at her intently, waiting for her to continue.

Britta cringed and pushed her face down onto her hands with even more force. “We have an understanding. We can see other people.”

Annie appeared to think about this for a moment. As she brushed a lock of Britta’s hair from her face, she asked softly, “Was he upset?”

Britta’s eyes widened, and flinching away from Annie, she looked down at the counter. “He said it was fine. I told him about it before he’d hear from someone else. And I’m pretty sure the whole school will find out by tomorrow. Leonard has a big mouth. God, _loser._ ”

Annie asked her next simple question in a soft tone, “Do you regret it?”

Britta shrugged and stared down at the counter for several moments before replying. “Of course now that Rick’s _gone_ I feel pretty stupid. It was exciting, but I don’t want to upset Ian even if I didn’t really do anything wrong. I just don’t want it rubbed in his face.”

She added in a mumble, “That’s not very classy, you know?”

Annie nodded in understanding. “Jeff and I used to have a similar arrangement. But we didn’t even say we were _dating_. The first night we actually had sex, he insisted on taking me out to a fancy dinner. We both agree now it was a _date_.”

Britta snorted.

Annie suppressed a giggle but then returned to a more serious mode as she continued, “We were always dating but we couldn’t admit it. I know I’ve told you this before. The reason I’m saying it again is because I want you to know that even though Jeff and I had a casual arrangement, an arrangement even _I_ suggested…”

Britta smiled incredulously as Annie continued calmly,

“I quickly realized I was jealous when I thought of him with other women. Because the _casual arrangement_ basically meant he could sleep with other women but of course while I technically could we both knew I wasn’t. Between Sophie and work when would I have the time? Plus not that there’s anything wrong with it, but that kind of thing isn’t for me.”

She looked at Britta and awaited a response.

Britta scrunched up her face in thought. “So I’m _Jeff_ in this scenario. And Ian is who, _you_?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“But you already know that, which is why you feel terrible. Ian might say he’s okay with you guys seeing other people, but we both know he’s not seeing anyone else.”

With an air of naïveté neither one of them believed, Britta asked, “He’s not?”

Annie shook her head and suppressed an incredulous laugh. “Jeff would know if that were the case. And he’d tell me. But again you probably already suspected that.”

Britta’s face went even paler than usual and she slumped forward, her hands once again cradling her head. “God, I know. I think I feel _guilty_ , which is crap because I shouldn’t. I had feelings for Rick. Like actual _feelings._ ”

“Do you have feelings for Ian?”

Britta turned her head and squinted at her. “Um, yeah. But I don’t really know what they are.”

“Any clues?” Annie looked at her with encouragement.

“I feel sick. And then happy. And then sick again.”

Annie sighed. “I should point out that Jeff was also Ian. He couldn’t do the whole casual thing either since he had developed _feelings_.”

She added with an almost preemptively apologetic tone, “Maybe you should talk to Jeff.”

“Kill me first.”

Listening in on their conversation while leaning against the wall near the back bedroom, Jeff felt the light step of a one-eyed furry creature on top of his right foot. As he was about to find a way of disentangling himself from _Dan(?)_ , he spied the approach of the also one-eyed _Mr. Wally(?)._

_Where the hell is Jelly Baby? Dammit, I have to check Sophie’s room._

His concentration was broken by the buzzing of the cell phone in his pocket.

[Duncan]: Must have con-4-s-8-tion about Britta now!!! – Ian Duncan.

He pursed his lips, cursing himself for having to get involved in this mess. He began to type out his reply as he waltzed over to the kitchen and called out, “Hey Annie, munchkin’s in bed. I have to take care of something. Is it okay if I leave for a little bit?” 

******************************

The Greendale fort situation quickly devolved into war.

It started with Troy letting Vice Dean Laybourne put an evil whisper in his ear. Coupled with his pent up sexual frustration regarding the Britta situation (she was pretty and really cool), Troy didn’t have much will to resist. Not that he ever had much will, but still. He’d show Abed that he could make mature, adult decisions. He could have his own career. He could be perfectly capable of having a _Sexy European Mature Living Situation_ _(SEMLS)_. He’d have to talk to Britta more about that of course, but still. Sexy Dracula would do something like that. He totally would.

He didn’t need to tiptoe around those brown soulful eyes. Abed would see. They could do this.

But right now, he needed to finish his blanket fort. 

*******************************

“I can’t stand it if she leaves me, Jeffrey. She’s my beautiful exotic bird, not wishing to be caged. I’ve tried to keep her contented on my balcony, fed with worms and assorted bird food whilst gently petting her feathers. Sometimes we have tea. But she doesn’t trust the scones or my offers for shelter. She’s going to fly away.”

Jeff hunched down in the office chair opposite a slightly sloshed Duncan. He pondered if there were anyway he could possibly remove himself from this situation. He quickly ran through the potential Annie reactions to finding out he bailed, and decided to tough it out.

It had nothing whatsoever to do with the dejected Duncan who was now whimpering and lightly banging his head on the desk blotter.

_Dammit_.

He cleared his throat and affected a confident lawyerly tone. “It’s not a matter of her _leaving_ you. From what I understand, you two have an agreement. Am I correct in understanding that she didn’t violate the terms of said agreement?”

Duncan lifted his head and wiped one eye with the back of his hand. Appearing to consider Jeff’s words for a moment, he stared off toward the bookcase and then began nodding vigorously. “That is correct.”

Encouraged, Jeff leaned back in his chair, balancing his foot on his knee and interlacing his hands in back of his head.

“So, if you want to change the terms of the agreement, make that explicit to her.”

“But what if she says no?”

“Then there may be room for negotiations.”

“Is that how you and Annie worked things out?”

Startled by the directness of the question, Jeff sat up in his chair. Dropping his foot to the floor and in a mild franticness grabbing a book off the edge of the desk, he replied, “I guess. But things were different. I was the one who really had the leeway to see other people. Annie could have, but she didn’t.”

“Ah, but you didn’t either. I remember you turning down the redhead.”

Jeff’s eyes went wide in incredulity. “You have a good memory.”

Without missing a beat, Duncan said wistfully, “I always remember a beautiful woman who ignores me and goes for my better-looking friend.”

Jeff closed his eyes in an attempt to shake off Duncan’s puppy dog stare. It didn’t work, so he opened them and began to flip through an alarmingly highlighted psychology book he mysteriously found in his hand.

_Human Mating?_

Duncan sipped his drink and added, “I know when I’m out of my league.”

Jeff rolled his eyes as he continued to examine the alarmingly clinical text.

_Diagrams?_

“Please. She likes you.”

Duncan sighed as he stared into his half-empty glass. Moving it carefully to the side, he looked up at Jeff and said earnestly, “She and you looked so good together. Really, I can’t compete in that department. But you two were horrible for each other. Annie and her child bring out a much kinder side to you. And Britta’s better off without your negativity pulling her down. You don’t believe in her dreams, whereas I very much do.”

Jeff was conscious of a pit of something forming in his stomach. After what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence, he managed to say, “You’re absolutely right. So there’s no problem here. You’ll talk to her and figure it out.”

Duncan chuckled and began poking at the glass, gently pushing it even further to the side as he continued to somehow resist the urge to drink the rest.

“The problem is Britta doesn’t know what to do when someone treats her well, which I’ve been trying to do, even if I am somewhat rubbish at it. She’s used to people like you tossing her aside. She expects it, really.”

Once again startled, Jeff was at a loss for words but was saved by a loud knock at the door. An older man peaked in and scowled.

“Cut out your whining, Ian. I can hear you next door. I’m in the middle of something important.”

“I’m terribly sorry, Buzz.”

Jeff cringed and gestured apologetically and silently toward a hunched over Duncan.

He was met with a continued scowl.

The man growled, “Just keep him relatively sober, okay? He’s been doing good lately, but I guess all _sunny things_ come to an end. I can’t drive him home tonight.”

“Hey, so you’re Buzz? I’m…”

\--“I’m not here to make new friends. I need to get back to work.”

With that, Buzz Hickey turned and walked out the door.

Jeff raised his eyebrows and shrugged more to himself than anyone. He turned back to see the bobbing head of an almost giddy looking Duncan, who was staring at him wildly, beads of sweat on his brow.

“But even you, Jeffrey Winger, were able to coax your lovely bird off the balcony and into your home! Please tell me how you did it!”

Jeff squinted in confusion and annoyance. “My _what_? You said _Britta_ was a bird.”

Nodding eagerly, Duncan pointed a finger in the air. “Don’t you see? So is your dear Annie! You’ve always convinced yourself you were the one who needed to learn how to settle down, which was of course also true, but she was the one who was so very afraid!”

Feeling a shiver come over him, Jeff affected a nonchalant manner and let out a long sigh as he shoved the book on the desk. “Fine. Yes, that was true.”

Abruptly changing from almost shouting to a tone tinged with despair, Duncan mused, “It’s awful when they’ve been hurt so badly, isn’t it? When people have abused them, misunderstood them, and never really taken care of them?”

“Look, Ian…”

\--“And yet we ourselves don’t really have a clue what to do, having our own pain and difficulties with intimacy. Hence…”

Jeff almost jumped out of his chair as with a look of satisfaction, Duncan deliberately sent his glass of booze shattering to the floor. 

*******************************

Abed attempted to ignore the whispers. Sure, being evil seemed like fun at times, but it would not be a good idea. This timeline was acceptable, even if Troy did abandon him.

Then again, evilAbed and evilTroy were together. And maybe they could take in the rejected evilSophie and have the family that Troy had wanted all along.

Abed was more than a little confused as to why Troy had seemed so upset and left. They needed to keep things simple and only use pillows. If they converted to a blanket fort, things would not be right.

Even Vice Dean Laybourne, a man whose presence Abed was more than a bit unnerved by since he hadn’t been in the narrative up until this point, saw that destroying the pillow fort didn’t make any sense at all. 

***********************************

Still reeling from his conversation with Duncan, Jeff made his way down the corridor with the intention of heading back out to the student parking lot.

He was accosted by a shrieking Garrett,

“We have a war in the study room!”

and was quickly pulled into another sticky mess. 

***********************************

After getting Jeff’s text and managing to find Nancy for last-minute babysitting, Annie and Britta arrived at the school, intent on stopping the civil war.

Britta let out a loud groan as she smacked herself in the head. “Oh my god, I’ve contributed to another awful thing! I’m such a loser!”

Annie looked at Britta with confusion, waiting for her to elaborate.

With a sheepish look, Britta offered, “Cause I’m pretty sure Abed doesn’t want me and Troy to hook up.”

Annie quickly gave a swat. “You’re hooking up with Troy?!?” 

Britta rolled her eyes. “No, even I’m not that stupid, Annie. But Troy’s been _interested_.”

A giant figure stepped out of the shadows with a bored sounding voice. “Oh my god.”

“Jeff?”

He waltzed over to Britta and, giving her his most exasperated look said firmly, “This has to stop. Right now. While part of me is perfectly happy to have classes postponed, this is crazy. Talk to Ian. Right now. He’s in his office, and he’s a lunatic. Stay away from Troy and Abed.”

Britta scoffed, a look of indignation on her face, “I’m not interested in Troy and Abed like that. It’s all been a big misunderstanding.”

“Good.” He turned back and squinted his eyes to watch through the study room windows the unfolding mess of feathers and blankets flying through the air.

Clearing her throat, Britta added, “And frankly, I don’t think any of this has to do with me. Clearly those two were having issues already. Speaking as an almost-psychologist, it’s evident Abed feels threatened by Troy’s bisexuality.”

Jeff made the shushing gesture. 

********************************

There was a temporary reigning in of the forces and a strategic retreat on both sides. Wounds were attended to, sarcastic quips were exchanged, and Pierce-sized weapons were retired.

Eventually, Jeff and Annie brokered a deal. A deal that allowed for both parties to save face, in the services of friendship. Jeff even brought out the magic friendship hats.

Annie exchanged a look of relief and admiration with Jeff, as they knew they had done right by their friends.

Abed and Troy agreed to never let petty squabbles come between them again. And a sobbing Troy promised if he’d ever feel the need for Sexy European Dracula (SED) times that he’d consult with Abed first, and Abed would get to have say. They agreed Britta was strictly off-limits. Not that they could find her anyway, as she seemed to have disappeared long before the end of the war.

As Jeff watched Trobed hug, he tried to shake off an eerie feeling that fell over him as he saw Abed’s eyes grow even darker as Troy added something about never moving out, even if Vice Dean Laybourne wanted him to do so. 

******************************

“Well that ended awesomely. The guys made up. We lost Britta. Win-win.”

Stopping the scuffing of her flats against the parking lot pavement, Annie zipped open her bag. “I hope she’s okay. I’ll try to call her again.”

Jeff reached and stopped her from taking out her cell. Affecting a swagger, he said, “Hey, let’s not be hasty.”

The eyes narrowed immediately. “Jeff.”

He almost giggled despite himself but quickly put on a slightly less childish expression. Leaning down for a quick kiss on the cheek, he growled, “Come on. We both know where she is. I’ll drop her stuff off tomorrow morning, _including her cats_ , and I’ll give Ian a pat on the back.”

Annie frowned in apparent deep thought. Pushing him away ever so gently, she looked up and said wistfully, “I don’t think it’s that simple.”

Jeff looked down at her in exasperation. “Please. I actually had the _con-4-s-8-tion_ with him, and it was as awkward and terrible as I would have predicted. But as my mom said, he’s head over heels. God knows why.”

Annie took a deep breath before she said, “I need to say something.”

Stepping back, he looked at her curiously. “Okay.”

She took another deep breath, appearing to steady herself before she continued, “First of all, I can understand why he loves her…”

\--“Whoa there, he didn’t say _love_...”

She waived her hand in the air as she added, “Britta is a great person. You don’t have to mock her. She’s been a really good friend to us.”

“Crap, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“But you’re not looking at this whole situation from Britta’s point of view. Just because Ian wants to be with her doesn’t mean _she does_. Or that she _can_. At any rate, I don’t think she’s ready, which is why I’m actually hoping she comes back to our place tomorrow at least.”

Jeff pondered her words for a few moments before nodding slowly and pulling her into a hug. He was very much aware of how precarious their own situation used to be, how up until more recently than he’d care to admit, he had felt it was still. Annie understood Britta and knew she needed time and space to come to feel things out in her relationship and to decide if she was willing to take a risk and trust someone.

He was jarred by the realization that in his own grasping for Annie, he could have easily lost her. The undercurrent of anxiety was really the only thing holding him back from pushing for more at the present time. While he had her words that they were on the same page in terms of commitment, there was a part of him that couldn’t really believe it. That she could love him and want to be with him. Although maddening, it felt safe to avoid more talk of marriage. After all, she had been pretty annoyed with him and had rightfully called out his almost reflexive derision of Britta.

He even knew better, having had a recent glimpse into what he strongly suspected had been of Britta having been abused as a child, but he had been feeling intensely uncomfortable around Britta since then and hadn’t known what to do with it.

_Why would Annie want to commit to a guy who would do something like that? I’m an asshole._

Inhaling the scent of her hair, he said in response to her wish for Britta to return, “You’re very wise.”

“I know. It’s because I’m super smart.”

“And humble as always.” 

*****************************

Much to Annie’s relief, Britta turned up the next day, a frown on her face and her hair pulled back in a messy bun. She hopped in the shower and changed, throwing items from her duffel bag around the bathroom with abandon.

As Jeff entered the now Britta-less bathroom, he called out, “Oh hell no. You can’t Britta our bathroom.”

Annie immediately emerged from the hallway and stepped over to him. With a loud whisper and a swat she said, “Stop it! She’s had a bad couple days.”

Even with his newfound resolution to treat Britta with more respect, he felt he was more than a little justified in this moment. With an air of gravitas, he said, “Annie, take a look.”

She let herself into the small space, visibly tightening her smile as she did so.

Jeff watched with fascination as her eyes scanned the room, widening in mild bewilderment. _Or was that terror? Rage?_

With a freakish grin, she squeaked, “It’s fine. But maybe I’ll clean up just a little. To be helpful?”

He nodded in smug satisfaction and left her to it. Waltzing into the living room, he heard Britta’s uncharacteristically sing-songy voice,

“You are the best little kid in the entire world! Do you know that? Jelly Baby, Mister Walter Whiskers, and Daniel all love you! Yes, they love you so much!”

_“Fee lub doggie.”_

“They aren’t doggies. They’re cats. Can you say cats?”

_“Cat. Fee lub cat.”_

“That’s right. And we’re all going to stay with you for a few more days. And we’ll have a lot of fun!”

_“Seep in Fee woom. Und cat. Pease?”_

“Well, I’ll have to ask your parents first. Especially your grouchy daddy. But I’m sure we can work something out.”

_“Fee lub Tit-ta.”_

“I love you too, Sophie.”

Jeff may have wiped something from his eye as he took in the sight of a Sophie-Britta hug. He plopped down on a chair and grabbed Count Frogula off the coffee table for an utmost necessary inspection.

In his most dry voice but perhaps with an ever-so-slight tremble, he said, “I’m glad you came back. Sophie missed you.”

Looking up from her hug, Britta smiled at him. He was almost taken aback by the genuineness of her expression. He vaguely remembered seeing it before, on the occasions when she attempted to comfort Abed or talked about putting hats on her cats, or the many times she had just babysat Sophie.

She cocked her head and asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Startled out of his thoughts, he returned her smile. “I’m sorry I’ve been an a-s-s. You can stay as long as you need to. We have an air mattress we can put in Sophie’s room.”

Appearing to perk up in a way that always unnerved him, she asked rapid-fire, “Does this mean I can help you guys find a dog to adopt? Cause there’s a couple real cuties at my shelter!”

_“Doggie?”_

Leaning back in his chair, Jeff groaned. “God. Just because…”

Sighing perhaps more than a little dramatically, he continued, “It is too chaotic now for us to get a d-o-g. Annie and I have decided to wait until summer.”

“Can I help you look for a,” she hesitated and glanced at Sophie before she continued, “d-o-g in the summer? I’m pretty good at it. You will be amazed at my d-o-g matching abilities.”

He nodded at her, unable to suppress his growing smirk.

 

 


	31. Family Rivalries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie and Jeff have a series of tension filled visitations

Jeff mumbled into Annie’s cleavage, “How I’ve missed both of you.”

Annie giggled, feeling the scruff of Jeff’s beard as he continued to nuzzle into her chest. Although they were both underneath the covers, in their early morning make out they had somehow ended up further down than she thought. She began to inch her way up the bed, Jeff following while impressively keeping his face firmly out of her view.

“You’re being ridiculous. You saw them yesterday.”

Cocking his head up to make eye contact, he said in all seriousness,  “Right. It’s been a long time.”

She gave him one of her I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that looks, to which he responded with a devilish grin. Hesitating ever so slightly, his eyes twinkling, he followed this with an Annie-aw-worthy kiss, what she thought of as a mixture of sweet and sexy.

_He’s definitely a good kisser. Even with morning breath. I think I’ll keep him._

Moving out of the kiss, he began to stroke her hair the way she liked it while peppering her neck with kisses.

She giggled into him as she said, “This is nice, us taking the time to do this.”

As he continued his seduction, Jeff reflected on the amazing fact that they were probably going to have sex in the morning. He glanced at the bedside clock and noticed the time, seven am, and marveled at the perks of having Britta stay with them for a little while. For the past few days, she had been the one Sophie would accost before six, and although Britta tended to be more of a night owl, she had by necessity turned into a farmer, going to bed earlier with Sophie after story time and then needing to offer entertainment immediately upon Sophie’s wakening. He almost kicked himself now for his initial resistance to the whole thing. Britta Perry Roommate was turning out to be more of an asset than a liability.

Which brought him back to the idea of morning sex. He stilled and lifted his head once more, this time affecting a drier tone.

“I must say it’s been a pleasant surprise having Britta stay with us. We can sleep in or we can have sex like monkeys.”

“See, it’s great, isn’t it?”

He briefly reflected on the fact that having Britta down the hall didn’t really lend itself to _carefree thoughts of doing it_. Which was the main reason why they hadn’t been doing it over the past few days. Part of him had been terrified that she’d hear them and make gagging noises near their door or barge in and yell at him. He knew he was being irrational, but then again as Annie was want to point out, Britta never did react to things appropriately.

So his attempts to _make love_ , as Annie liked to call it, to Annie over the past few days usually amounted to hands stuff followed by an indulgent slumber.

_God, I’m lame._

And then his mind came back to the main reason the sexy times were not occurring: the sullen one on the couch.

He added aloud, “Except we can’t have sex like monkeys, for the fact that _Britta_ is down the hall. Oh yeah, and _your brother_ is on the couch.”

Annie squinted at him. “Are you upset about something?”

He groaned and with more than a bit of reluctance, rolled onto his back. With a slight gasp, he said, “It’s just we went from a household of three to five in rapid time, Annie. I wasn’t ready for this.”

Propping herself on one arm, she turned to look at him. With what he suspected was more than a little bit of pity in her eyes, she said, “You’re being dramatic. Britta’s moving back in with Troy and Abed at the end of the week and Anthony’s going home today.”

“He’s been here _two nights_. Somehow I don’t see him leaving.”

Pursing her lips in frustration, Annie explained, “We’ve been over this. The only reason he’s here is because our mom’s been impossible. She really wants to see me and Sophie, and she gets so _crazy_ when she wants something and can’t get it. I’ll call her today and invite her over for next weekend. She’ll ease up on everything, and stop throwing out his stuff.”

Jeff thought back to Annie’s initial reaction to take Anthony in after getting a frantic call from him. They had spoken for about twenty minutes before she hung up and calmly explained to Jeff the situation. Her mother had been stomping around the house and _decluttering_ , leaving Anthony in a whirl of anxiety and resentment. While Jeff honestly couldn’t fathom Anthony sustaining a conversation for twenty minutes – he merely grumbled things to Jeff when asked a direct question – he felt some sympathy for the kid and readily agreed to him coming over for a night.

Which had turned into two nights.

Sophie was in heaven with her new playmates but Jeff was finding the whole arrangement more than a little disruptive. He liked to have his space. Accommodating Sophie and Annie was one thing, and even that had taken some adjustment, but Anthony was a whole different matter. But Annie was insistent, and she was clearly upset, and he loved her. So there really had been no other option. He had called up Rachel and explained as rationally as he could the potential benefits of allowing Anthony to stay with them for a night, Rachel having her usual instinctive outburst followed by an unnerving adoration of him.

_(“Jeff, you’re absolutely right. Anthony could use some time to himself. Boys his age can’t be mothered too much. I know you will look out for him and make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble.”)_

Jeff snapped back to the present moment and rolled onto his side to face Annie while gently brushing her hair.

“Are you ready for your mom to actually spend some time with you guys?”

Annie let out a long sigh but scooted closer to him, lightly bumping her nose to his.

She whispered, “I can’t avoid it forever, and I don’t want Anthony’s life to be more difficult than it is already. And at least she’s trying, in her own maddening way.”

“I’m sorry this whole thing is happening.”

Smiling slightly after giving him a light kiss, she said, “Welcome to my family.”

****************************

Jeff walked sleepily down the hall. He cast a look into Sophie’s room, noticing the door was ajar. Leaning against the wall, he heard Sophie’s hearty chuckle and then the snippet of an exchange:

_“Tit-ta, you silly.”_

“Hey, the Bear has fancy things to do. He’s going to go over to his Lexus and take a ride. Here he goes. Plop, plop, plop. Into the car. He’s probably going to the mall or something.”

_“Und Baby go wid Bah. Baby go all da dime. Baby lub Bah.”_

“Sure, Baby can go with him. So, um, clearly your bear is your daddy, so where’s your mommy?”

_“Mama here.”_

“Hillary Rodham Kitten. Excellent choice. Where’s me?”

_“YOU dar, Tit-ta. Right dar! Tit-ta silly.”_

This was followed by a surprisingly reasonable sounding response, “Well, I know I’m here. I was just hoping I’d be one of your toys.”

Jeff smirked to himself and then made his way down the hallway. As he attempted to tiptoe past the couch, a blob of dark hair jerked on the pillow with a groan.

Jeff whispered, “Sorry. Go back to sleep.” He continued to venture toward the kitchen.

The head moved, revealing Anthony’s half-creased face. He carefully sat up with another pained exclamation and eyed Jeff with suspicion.

Jeff half-smiled apologetically. “I’m going to get breakfast started. Want anything?”

Anthony scanned Jeff with a frown, appearing to note his bare feet, plaid pajama bottoms, grey t-shirt, and actual bed head.

“Whatever. I can make my own thing.”

Jeff squinted at him and let out a sigh. “It’s no problem. I’m making breakfast for everyone.”

“Well aren’t you Mr. Perfect?”

Jeff had taken a step toward the kitchen but stopped and turned around slowly to face a pissed off looking Anthony.

He took a deep breath and said with as much non-reactivity yet directness he could muster, “Anthony, you are Annie’s beloved brother. She is very happy to have you back in her life. I love Annie. Therefore, I hope we can get along. Is there a problem here, and if so, what can we do about it?”

Appearing startled by Jeff’s response, Anthony turned away and mumbled, “Nah. It’s good.”

Jeff opened his mouth to speak but before he could, Annie padded into the room, dressed in black yoga pants and a Greendale Hoodie she had given Jeff as a joke (at least he  assumed it was a joke) for Christmas. She appeared comically small in the thing, as it fell almost all the way to her knees. Jeff noted with mild amusement she was also wearing the pink bunny slippers he had definitely gotten her as a joke for Christmas. He was beginning to wonder if she didn’t see the humor in them, as she tended to wear them all the time.

Annie quickly scanned Anthony and Jeff’s expressions, the bright smile on her face tightening as she became aware of the tension.

Jeff could almost see her doing mental calculations before shifting into one of her hypomanic moods.

She chirped, “Anthony! Good morning! I hope you slept okay out here again. Britta’s going to get Sophie ready, but maybe we could all go out for a nice breakfast? Jeff, what do you think? We could go to Denny’s!”

Jeff knew better than to address any of the strangeness that had preceded her entrance. With an air of breeziness, he replied, “That’s an amazing idea, Annie.”

Anthony shrugged and grumbled something Jeff assumed was agreement. 

****************************

Later that day after Anthony had gone home and Sophie was occupied with Britta in her room, Jeff turned to Annie.

“So your brother’s not a fan of mine.”

Annie half-heartedly swatted his chest.   “You two don’t really know each other. I’ve been spending more time with him than you have.”

“Well, I wanted to give you guys space. But apparently, and I really don’t know why, he has a problem with me. He called me ‘Mr. Perfect.’”

Annie shook her head. “He’s just grumpy, and he gets anxious when he meets new people. I’m sure if you two spend more time together than it’ll get better. You two might be more alike than you realize.”

“I think he wants his sister back. He doesn’t want me. And I guess I can’t blame the kid.”

“Jeff, it _will_ get better. I promise.”

“Sure.” 

*********************************

Britta sat across from Annie on the living room floor, her legs tucked underneath her as they both watched Sophie line up Count Frogula, Ruthie, and Nathan so that they were facing the television set.

_“Und day wath tee vee.”_

“I told you, sweetie, we’re not watching tv.”

_“Mama, day WAN tee vee!”_

“Sophie, sweetie, let’s just…”

_“No. Fee wan daddy. Daddy nice.”_

Britta watched in fascination as Annie reined in her flustered reaction and looked at Sophie intently.

“Daddy is seeing his therapist. We are not watching tv.”

_“Mama NOT nice.”_

Annie closed her eyes and took a deep breath before responding, “We are going to color instead. Come on, let’s go to the kitchen table.”

With a rapid shift in mood, Sophie nodded.

Britta remarked, “Wow, that’s like ninja parenting, Annie. I’ll color with you guys too.”

Annie smiled and stood, picking up Sophie and carrying her toward the table. She sighed as she buckled Sophie into her booster seat.

“The key is not being reactive. I’m not always successful in doing that, but I’m trying. She’s been favoring Jeff lately. It’s kind of annoying.”

Britta nodded smugly. “Men.”

Annie stifled a laugh while she put a placemat down in front of Sophie. “And he won’t be home until like nine because after therapy, he’s going to dinner with his mom, so we have a few more hours of this. She did the same thing last week. Always telling me that he’d let her watch t-e-l-e-v-i-s-i-o-n. But I’m pretty sure he doesn’t.”

Britta frowned as she brought over the paper and crayons. “I don’t know. He’s kind of lazy. And I think it’s weird he’s out with his mom. I haven’t seen my mom in years.”

Annie smiled softly.   “His therapist suggested it. I think it’s good if they spend more time with each other alone. He used to avoid her, too, but they’re good for each other.”

Britta took a moment as she appeared to think this over. “Yeah, she seems like a decent person. I assume then that most of his narcissistic douchebaggery is due to his daddy issues.”

“Britta.”

_“Daddy?”_

“No sweetie, daddy’s not here. Let’s draw.” She looked up sharply at Britta, and Britta smiled sheepishly in response.

There was a knock at the door.

Britta rose and made her way down the hallway and opened it. Groaning loudly at the appearance of Adam, she said, “God, speaking of _douchebags._ ”

Adam raised his eyebrows and instinctively took one step back at the sight of her. “You.”

Britta smiled sweetly, noting the remnants of a bruise around his nose. She so wished she had been there to see Annie’s mom sock him in the face.

She said nonchalantly, “Hey, yes, it’s me, your coked up whore. How are you doing? Long time no see.”

He began to nod rapidly as he attempted to look past her. He said with an air of impatience, “I need to see Annie.”

Leaning her hand out in a stopping motion, she said firmly, “Not so fast. We weren’t expecting you. Maybe she’s not here. Did you think of that? Maybe I’m babysitting. Get lost.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “I know she’s here. Her car’s downstairs and Jeff left without her.”

Britta gasped, “You are so creepy! Do you watch the parking lot or do you have Jeff’s schedule figured out or something? That’s super stalker weird. You are _gross_.”

He shrugged. “It’s better if I talk to her without him here. It’s sensitive. So can I come in?”

Before Britta could snarkily respond, Annie was by her side. She looked at Adam with a weariness and said, “What are you doing here?” She gave Britta a gentle shove and motioned for her to go back toward Sophie.

Shoving his hands in his jean pockets, Adam smiled slightly. “Sorry for just dropping by, but I really need to talk with you. Wednesdays Jeff’s out, so I thought it might be a good time.”

“You could have called me.”

“I needed to talk to you in person. It’s important.”

She arched a brow. “But no Jeff?”

“I just need this to be you and me. Please.”

With a sigh, she motioned him into the apartment and closed the door after him. As they entered the dining area, Sophie looked up from her drawing project with a smile.

_“Hi.”_

“Hi Sophie. How’s it going?” He walked over and leaned down to give her a kiss on her forehead.

_“Dad. Fee daw lion.”_

Adam’s face paled. He glanced over to Annie, who stood smiling next to a bored looking seated Britta.

He mouthed to Annie, “She said dad.”

“Of course she did. I told you she would eventually. She remembers you.”

_“Dad daw? Here you go. Roar Roar.”_

Sophie dropped her orange crayon and picked up a green one. She shoved it toward him and then dropped it.

His eyes widening, Adam almost absentmindedly picked up the rolling crayon and placed it back into the crayon box. He stared at Sophie with an expression Annie couldn’t quite read, but it looked like a mixture of wonderment and fear.

“I can’t right now. I need to talk to mommy.”

_“Okay. Fee daw und you und mama talk. Und Tit-ta talk Fee.”_

He gave her a quick kiss again before following Annie into the living room, where they proceeded to sit down on the couch.

Annie regarded him skeptically and waited for him to begin.

Tapping the couch arm with his fingers, he said, “She’s talking a lot. It’s crazy. It’s like she’s not a baby anymore.”

Annie smiled, feeling a tightness in her chest as she became aware of his obvious discomfort. She readied herself.   “Just tell me why you’re here.”

He looked almost guiltily at her and shrugged. “I don’t know how to say this. But you know how I applied again to grad school? I got in.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. He placed it on the couch in between them.

Annie’s eyes went to it and she reached over and opened it. She skimmed it for a moment, before she looked up at his tentative expression and said, “North Carolina, Chapel Hill.”

“Yeah. It was my top choice.”

She glanced back down at the letter. “English, Phd program. Wow. Congratulations.”

She looked back up to see him studying her face. “What?”

He said, “Thanks. I wasn’t sure what your reaction would be.”

Smiling tightly, she remarked, “It’s a great program. And you’ll do really well there, I know it.”

At his continued stare, she asked in a soft voice tinged with guarded hopefulness, “Unless you’re not going to accept? Did you get in somewhere else?”

He leaned his arm back on the couch and rested his head on his hand as he replied, “I’m going to accept. I have to.”

She nodded, her expression becoming even tighter.

He quickly added, “I’ll be back on breaks. My dad’s here, you’re here, Sophie’s here. It probably won’t be much different than it is now.”

“She’s starting to remember you. She’s calling you _dad_. You said you wanted to see her more often. And now you’re moving away.”

She looked up at him sharply, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks.

He cringed. “Oh please don’t try to make me feel guilty. It’s about damn time I do something constructive. You and I both know that.”

“You could try being _constructive_ with your daughter.”

He snapped, “Why? She has a replacement father. Why do you need me anyway?”

Annie straightened her posture and said firmly, “You’re such an ass. You know all along I’d rather have you embrace her, to spare her feeling rejected, but you didn’t give me a choice. And she loves Jeff. He’s here for her everyday.”

Adam made a fist and placed it down on the sofa arm several times as he said, “Oh make sure you don’t tell Jeff that he’s second choice. I don’t think that would go over well.”

She gasped, “Stop twisting my words! Sophie could have two involved fathers. A child can never have too much love. I don’t understand why you don’t love her.”

Looking at her with alarm and relaxing his fist, he said, “Annie, please. Of course I love Sophie.”

“Then I don’t see how you can leave her.”

He frowned. “I’m not your dad.”

“I know.”

He looked at her intently. “Do you? Cause I’ll be back. I just need to do this. It’s important that I make something of myself. You want that too, right? Then I can pay more child support. But we should probably talk about that, too, since my situation will be different with school and stuff. But don’t worry, I already talked to my dad, and he seems to have softened a little after he talked to your mom and he says he might be able to help you guys out.”

Wiping her cheek with the back of her hand, Annie shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you? It’s never been about the money. Not really. It’s about love.”

“Annie, I told you I … “

“I don’t think you know what love is.” 

***************************

Around nine pm, Jeff let himself in the apartment, being careful to shut the door quietly behind him. He slipped off his shoes and made his way into the living room where he found a despondent looking Annie, red rims around her eyes, curled up in a ball next to a concerned Britta.

There was an empty bottle of wine on the coffee table next to two half-filled glasses.

He exchanged looks with Britta who mouthed to him, “She’ll be okay.” 

****************************

By ten thirty, Jeff had gotten Annie into bed while Britta amused herself by watching late night talk shows in the living room. He had finally succeeded in coaxing out the story from Annie in between her stifled sobs, doing his best in maintaining a reassuring presence. It wasn’t easy, as he was caught by two emotions. The first he easily recognized as anger, his blood pressure rising with a very familiar urge to strangle Adam for causing so much pain. The second caught him a bit by surprise. He was aware that he was feeling a sense of envy.

_Why does Annie even want Adam to be Sophie’s father?_

_Why am I not good enough?_

He almost punched himself in the thigh at this realization before plopping down on the bed. He countered his irrationally jealous thoughts by reaching for Annie and pulling her into an embrace.

“It’s going to be okay. He doesn’t even see her that much anyway.”

He felt Annie push her face into his shirt even more before she lifted her head up a little so that she could see his face. She looked at him with bloodshot eyes, tears still flowing.

“That’s what’s wrong with everything. She just figured out who he was and now they’ll never know each other. His PhD program is for five years. _Five years_ , Jeff. She’ll be eight when he graduates, and she won’t even know him. And who knows if he’ll even move back here? I don’t understand how he can just leave her.”

Jeff held back a snappy comment and did his best to file away that for his next therapy appointment. While he thought he had made significant progress on accepting the Adam situation, he was realizing in this moment that he had a long way to go.

He sighed. “I don’t know what his problem is. She’s an awesome little kid. And she’s lucky to have you as her mother. We’ll make sure she never doubts that she’s wanted and loved. And maybe one day he’ll come to his senses. But if not, we’ve got this.”

He added for a good measure, “And between us and the study group and hell all of Greendale Community College, she’ll have so much attention and _enmeshment_ that frankly, she’ll turn out always knowing someone will have her back. She won’t do stupid things like her biological father, she won’t lie her way into a professional field like yours truly….”

\--“She won’t end up a druggie like her mom.”

“Annie, I…”

“It’s okay. Thank you for trying to reassure me. I appreciate it, and I hope you’re right. I just don’t want her heart to be broken.”

Jeff sat there, holding Annie in his arms, confident that he wouldn’t let Sophie’s heart be broken. She was little, she had barely any awareness of Adam’s actual relationship to her, and he was sure they could find some way of explaining things to her as she got older. As far as he was concerned, the farther away Adam was from her, the better. Sophie wouldn’t really know any different.

No, he wasn’t worried about Sophie.

He was more worried about her mother, whose heart he was pretty sure was at least cracking at this moment. He suspected that although she was deeply disappointed in Adam, her tears had more to do with another person who had been suspiciously absent, despite efforts at reconciliation since the previous summer. 

*****************************

Rachel stepped gingerly into the apartment, glancing about as she removed her jacket, which Jeff took from her and placed on a hanger.

“Shall I take them off?” She indicated with a nod toward her red stilettos.

Raising his eyebrows in mild surprise she was wearing what appeared to be her trademark shoes, Jeff said, “Probably a good idea. We let Sophie have semi-free rein of the place, so we like to keep the floors clean.”

“Ah, that’s sensible.” She smiled nervously at him and readily removed the pumps, placing them near the wall.

She turned and said brightly, “Thank you for having me over. I feel so bad we haven’t had a visit since that very unfortunate day with the whole _jail_ thing. I hope Annie hasn’t been making too much of a fuss about it. It’s not like I just go about _assaulting_ people.”

“Oh, I know. And please don’t worry about it. It’s fine.”  

She leaned in toward him and lowered her voice, “Right. You get it. It was kind of fun. I wonder if he’s recovered by now?”

She gave him a wink.

He stepped back and suppressed an urge to high five her, feeling that would be more than a little inappropriate. After all, he wasn’t that certain Rachel _didn’t_ go about assaulting people. In this case, he approved, but he probably shouldn’t encourage it.

He motioned her past him, and she sashayed down the hall swinging a large red bag over her shoulder, the scent of Chanel No. 5 trailing after her.

“Where are my girls?”

Annie looked up from her spot on the couch next to Sophie, who was cuddling up to her and talking to her bear.  

Annie smiled tentatively and said, “Hi mom. Sophie, this is…”

\--“Your bubbe!   Hi Sophie, it’s so good to see you again.”

With that, Rachel quickly walked over to the chair and sat down opposite them, an almost giddy grin on her face. Jeff followed her into the room and pulled up a dining chair to sit down on the other side of the coffee table. He watched as Rachel stared at Annie and then Sophie with a nervous amazement.

She said in an almost whisper, “She’s just so beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

“She reminds me of you at that age. But your hair was different.”

Annie replied awkwardly as she touched Sophie’s head, “I know her hair’s curly. We didn’t know what to do with it at first. Jeff tried everything, but then his stylist helped us figure it out.”

Rachel nodded as she appeared to study Sophie’s hair. “She gets that from her father.”

_“Hi.”_

“Hi. I’m bubbe. Can you say bubbe?”

_“Bub bub.”_

“No, it’s bubbe. Say it with me. Bub-bee.”

 _“Bub bub bee.”_ Sophie began chuckling as she sat up straight and regarded Rachel’s large red bag.

 _“What dat?”_ She pointed toward it.

Seemingly flustered, Rachel started to say, “It’s bub-bee, not bub bub bee,” when accompanied by a reproachful look from Annie, she stopped and said sweetly, “Oh this? I have some presents for you.”

Sophie smiled even more and began to climb down from the couch. Annie reached out, but Sophie pushed her off and toddled over to Rachel, looking up at her with Disney eyes.

Rachel gasped and said, “She’s like _you_.”

Annie said, “She’s not. She’s her _own person_ , mom. Just like I’m not like _you._ ”

Continuing to beam at Sophie, Rachel said, “Now please, sweetie. Let’s not fight. I want to give my granddaughter her presents.” To Sophie she said, “We have to make up for lost time. Bubbe didn’t know what you had, but surely you’ll like these.”

With that, she dumped out her bag onto the floor, revealing about ten to twelve presents of assorted sizes, each meticulously wrapped in pink paper with purple bows.

“Mom!”

 _“Ooooooh!”_  

xxxxxx

After calming Annie down, Jeff plopped down on the floor and assisted Sophie in opening her presents. With finesse that surprised even himself, he shooed Rachel away from her attempts to help Sophie open them, as she was concerned about all the ripping and the disorganization.

Jeff suppressed a smirk as he looked at Annie, who haughtily rose to her feet and walked into the kitchen under the guise of getting some refreshments. When she returned a couple minutes later, they had unwrapped several of the items, and were noting the assortment of stuffed creatures and a pair of glittery red dress up shoes about Sophie’s size.

Rachel watched Sophie eye the pair and said, “So you can be in style. It’s very important to think about footwear.”

Annie rolled her eyes as she sat back down and offered her mother some tea.

“Thank you, sweetie. Oh, and here.” Rachel slid over an envelope.

Annie regarded her skeptically as she opened it. Her eyes widening at the piece of paper within, she asked with a sharpness, “Why would you do this?”

Jeff looked up from his spot on the floor.

Continuing to stare at the paper, Annie explained, “It’s a cd for her college savings.” She looked up at her mother with a quizzical expression.

Rachel furrowed her brow. “As it says there, it’s for her college. I know it’s a long way off, but you can never be too prepared. It’ll gain some interest. You know I work in finance, these things are important to me. And I’ll get her a different one every year, perhaps on her birthday? Then she’ll at least have a nice start. When is her birthday? I haven’t wanted to ask since you haven’t wanted to talk to me, and frankly now I feel a little foolish in asking.”

Annie exchanged a glance with Jeff before she turned back to her mother and said calmly, “July seventh.”

Rachel nodded as she looked back down at Sophie, who was busy attempting to put on her new shoes. She said, “So she was almost an Independence Day baby. Why, it’s a shame she wasn’t because then she’d have fireworks every year on her birthday.”

Annie shrugged. “I’m glad she wasn’t born on a national holiday, actually. This way her birthday can just be her day.”

Rachel looked up at Annie and began to nod more vigorously. “Yes, you’re right. Her birthday should be her special day.” With realization coming over her face, she added, “I know! I’ll throw her a birthday party this year! Does she have little friends? We can invite them and their parents. It’ll be a fabulous third birthday party! Won’t that be wonderful?” She looked over at Annie expectantly.

Annie’s eyes widened, and she exchanged a frantic look with Jeff before she responded, “Mom, can we please not get ahead of ourselves. It’s April. This is your first time really meeting her.”

“But July seventh’s less than three months away, sweetie. It takes time to properly plan a really nice party. Don’t you want bubbe to throw you the best party?” She leaned down to stare at Sophie, who looked up at her and chuckled once again.

_“Bub bub bee silly.”_

Appearing not to understand what to do with this statement, Rachel turned her attentions to Jeff.

“I don’t know why she’s repeating the first syllable. Can we correct her?”

Annie let out a groan and stood, reaching down to pick up some discarded wrapping paper as she said, “Mom, thank you for the presents. Sophie say thank you to bubbe.”

_“Dank you, bub bub bee.”_

“See, the syllables…”

Before Jeff could say anything, Annie interjected, “That’s her word for bumblebee. I think that’s why she keeps laughing when she says your name. She thinks you’re telling her you’re a bee.”

Stiffening, Rachel scoffed, “What? But that’s absurd. I’m not a _bee._ ”

Sophie began to giggle even more as, with Jeff’s assistance, she stood in her new shiny red shoes and hobbled over to Rachel. She reached up and smacked her on the knee.

_“Dooes. Bub bub bee, bub bub, bee.”_

Her expression of incredulity softening, Rachel replied, “You’re very welcome for the shoes. I’m not a bee, but I guess if you think that’s what I’m saying, then perhaps you don’t yet have the cognitive capacity to understand. It’ll come along, I’m sure. So you may call me a bee.”

More giggles.

Rachel studied Sophie for a moment, a smile forming on her face. She glanced up at Annie and asked, “May I hold her?”

Annie took in a sharp breath, looked over at Jeff who gave a shrug, and then turned back to her mother. “Sure.”

Rachel eagerly reached down and lifted Sophie, placing her on her lap. “Hi sweetie, you sit with bubbe for a minute.” She reached over and grabbed the bear off the coffee table as she added, “and show me this sweet bear of yours.”

_“Yah, okay. Dis MY bah.”_

“I see. What’s her name?”

_“Bah.”_

“Oh, I was just wondering if there was a formal name. Bear sounds like it could be a surname, whereas a first name would be ….”

\--“Mom, she doesn’t understand what you’re saying. She’s _two_.”

“Oh, right. I’m sorry. Yes, your bear is very sweet.”

Smiling, Sophie took off one of her shoes and attempted to shove it onto the bear’s noticeably smaller feet.

_“Bah hab dooes. Bah go buzz buzz buzz. Yah okay, bub bub bee?”_

Appearing to melt on the spot, Rachel cooed, “Are you the cutest? I’m so happy to finally hold you.”

 _“Bah wah da dooes? Bah go to bub bub bee.”_ With that, Sophie attempted to make the bear walk up Rachel’s arm.

“Awwwww!”

Jeff stared incredulously at the display of Rachel cooing over Sophie in an eerily familiar manner. He turned to catch Annie’s reaction but was merely faced with her retreating figure as she made her way back into the kitchen. He turned back to Rachel, who was now glancing in Annie’s direction. She looked over at him and smiled sadly.

“It’s been a long time. I should have listened to you. She’s not ready to be my daughter again.”

“Yeah, well, none of that needs to be figured out today. I’ll go check on her. You guys okay?”

“Yes, we’re fine. And thank you.”

He gave a nod and rose to his feet. “Be good with bubbe, I’m going to find Mommy.”

_“Okay, Daddy.”_

He made his way into the kitchen, where he found Annie sitting on a stool and staring into a bowl of half mixed salad.

“You okay?”

She let out a wearied sigh and smiled slightly. “I suppose.”

“Do you want me to ask her to leave? We can cut the visit short if it’s too much right now.”

Taking a deep breath, Annie shook her head. “I’m fine. I can do this.”

“I left her with your mom for a minute. Is that okay?”

She frowned. “Of course. I hardly think she’s going to _kidnap_ her or anything.”

A fluttery feeling in his stomach forming, Jeff said, “Wait, are you sure? From what I’ve seen she’s impulsive…” He began to instinctively move backward before Annie rose to her feet and stopped him with a hand on the arm.

He shrugged apologetically.

“Jeff, let’s just get through lunch.” 

*******************************

After the emotional intensity of Rachel’s visit, Jeff and Annie decompressed, mostly by allowing Sophie to run around the playground for a little bit with Troy and Abed. Annie leaned against Jeff’s shoulder as she watched her daughter move down the toddler slide, Abed catching her at the bottom after Troy gave her a push from the top.

She let out a quick laugh. “It’s turning out to be a good day.”

He placed a kiss on her temple as she stroked her hair, “Yes, it is. Look how much fun she’s having with her uncles.”

Annie smiled. “I’m so glad they seem more secure about being her uncles. I know Anthony’s her biological uncle, but really, they know her better. And it’s not really a competition anyway.”

“You’re right, it’s not. Again, more love all around, right?”

“Look how happy they are.”

Jeff watched as Abed scooped up Sophie and then carefully placed her on the ground. Troy came running up and grabbed her hand, leading her over to the swing set. Jeff turned back to catch a spaced out look on Annie’s face.

Gently pushing her to sit up and turning to face her, he said, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Looking at her intently, he tapped her hand as he said, “You did the right thing today. And you don’t have to decide what any of that means right now.”

She sighed wistfully. “I know.”

“Everything’s okay.”

She smiled, and they both took a moment to regard one another.   After the tensions of the past few days, it finally felt as if things were setting down and returning to normal. Britta and Anthony had returned home, they had gotten through Rachel’s visit, and even the Adam situation wasn’t immediate and would be sorted out before he moved away near the end of the summer.

And most important of all, Sophie was safe.

As Jeff leaned in for a kiss, they were interrupted by a frantic-sounding Troy.

“Guys! I’m so sorry, I tried to stop him!”

They whipped their heads to face him.

Jeff squinted in annoyance, “What are you talking about?”

Troy began to sob hysterically. “Sophie’s gone!”

A look of horror fell on Annie and Jeff’s faces as the both leapt to their feet and started for the playground. Despite his long legs, Jeff found himself almost struggling to keep up with Annie as she bounded ahead of him. He stopped, Troy crashing into him, as he came to her position by the swing set.

She was staring wide eyed around the play lot and screaming, “Sophie! Baby, where are you?!?”

Jeff turned to Troy, grabbing him by both shoulders as he stared him in the eye. “What happened?”

Through choking sobs, Troy said, “I just went to the bathroom for a minute. I never thought he’d take her!”

Annie continued to shriek, “Sophie! Sophie!”

Jeff exchanged a worried look with her before refocusing on Troy. He said in as firm tone he could muster in the situation, “Please focus. Tell me what happened.”

Troy pointed over to the left side of the lot as he said, “When I came back, I saw them over there, getting on the number eight bus. He had her in his arms.”

“Who, Troy, who took Sophie?”

“Abed.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	32. The Dreamatorium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evil!Abed has a lot to say

“This is ridiculous. We’re going like five miles per hour.”

“Jeff, we have to stay behind them and make sure he’s taking her home.”

Jeff tapped the steering wheel in frustration as he glared ahead at the back of the number eight bus. As it pulled in to yet another stop, he pressed down on the brake.

Annie reached over and grabbed his right hand, giving it a squeeze. She smiled tightly. “She’s fine. He’s taking her to his apartment.” She craned her neck out the window for a moment and then moved it back into the car. She added, “See? They didn’t get off here. She’s fine. He’s not going to hurt her.”

Jeff returned Annie’s squeeze, turning to face her slightly and noticing her trembling mouth. He had a feeling she was giving herself a pep talk more than she was speaking to him. He turned his attention back to the windshield, making sure no one had gotten off the bus, and pressed down on the gas pedal as the bus resumed its slow crawl.

“You’re right. She’s fine.”

“I hope she’s not scared.”

“Annie, it’ll be okay. We’ll keep following this damn thing and we’ll intercept them before anything happens.”

“But what would happen? He wouldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t…”

Annie suddenly tightened her mouth and pulled her hand away from his. With a gasp, she said, “Oh my god! He’s not trying to use her in his movie, is he? I told him he absolutely could not do that without me present! I’ll kill him!”

Jeff raised his eyebrows. “Damn. I didn’t think of that. But surely he’d ask again? I even said I’d draw up a contract.”

“You what?”

“Annie, now’s not the time to get into this.”

A voice from the back seat shrieked, “Guys! I’m so sorry! I had no idea he’d kidnap her! He’s been acting really weird for the past few days.” Looking at his phone with his voice rising even more, he added, “He’s not even responding to my texts!”

Jeff glanced in the rearview mirror at a pained looking Troy. He tried not to think about the darkness he had seen fall over Abed at the end of the Pillow and Blanket War. He mentally kicked himself for not recognizing the signs that Abed might be going off the rails.

Annie whipped her head around and barked to Troy, “Call Britta. She’s at home, right? If he is taking her back to the apartment, she can meet them on that end, and we’ll keep following.”

Troy nodded between sobs and began to dial. 

**************************

Eventually they turned onto Dresser Avenue. As the trio expected, Abed alit from the bus, a smiling Sophie in his arms. Jeff reached across and barred Annie from exiting the Lexus.

“Wait. Let’s try to approach him calmly.”

“That’s our baby, Jeff! You’re not stopping me!” She pushed his arm away and threw open the passenger door.

Jeff cringed and jumped out of the driver’s side, taking his usual long strides with a quicker step while still finding it difficult to keep up with Annie. Troy followed.

As Annie bounded up to Abed, he turned to face her. In that moment, Annie, Jeff, and Troy spotted the black felt goatee. They all froze.

Abed lifted his eyebrows and stared at them with a look of mild amusement. In a dull voice, he said, “You will need to leave us now. This child needs to be wanted. I will reunite her with evil!Sophie, and they both can come live with me and evil!Troy.”

Annie gasped, “Abed! If this is for one of your stupid movies, I’ll…”

_\--“Mama! Bed und Fee go pay wid doys. Bye bye.”_

Sophie smiled and then with a giggle, buried her face into Abed’s shoulder. Abed pet her curls and placed a kiss on the top of her head. As the felted goatee began to stick to her hair, he appeared momentarily flustered and then quickly disentangled it, slapping it back on his face.

Annie exchanged alarmed looks with Jeff. She then turned back to Abed and said in a calmer voice, “Abed, please hand my baby back to me. I’d like to take her home. She needs a nap.”

They all watched as a cloud formed over Abed’s eyes.

Troy moved past Jeff and Annie, a sweet smile on his face. He pleaded, “Abed, hey, why don’t you let her go home? She’s tired, man.”

For a moment, Abed regarded Troy with the faint hint of familiarity. He then quickly became stoic once again and said tersely, “She isn’t tired. She’s hungry. She needs buttered noodles. And something’s wrong with her, but none of you seem to notice or understand. But not to worry, we will take care of her and see she gets what she needs.”

“Abed…”

\--“My name’s not Abed. It’s evil!Abed.”

With that, Abed turned and walked into the apartment building. 

****************************

They took a minute to process what had just occurred. Annie found herself unnerved by Abed’s aloofness and his comments and was momentarily stunned before she tried to take off after them again. Jeff stopped her, grabbing her by the waist as he tried to explain that he thought the best course of action was to have Britta get involved for what he called “Plan B.”

“I don’t understand, Jeff! You’re bigger than Abed, you can just take Sophie from him. Let’s go up there and kick his ass!”

Continuing to hold her tight, Jeff said, “We don’t want to frighten Sophie! She’s fine. Troy explained everything to Britta, and she said she’d figure out a way to get Sophie away from him.”

“She’s my baby!”

He pulled her close, and when she stopped kicking, he relaxed his grip slightly. Turning her to face him, he pulled her into a hug. “He’d never hurt her. But just to be sure, I’m going to go up there in about two minutes.”

“Why is he doing this?”

Troy stepped forward. “I think I might have a clue.” 

***************************

After receiving a text from Britta, they mounted the stairs and let themselves into Apartment 303. Annie quickly scanned the empty living room and found the door to the Dreamatorium. She rushed over to it and, casting a worried look at Jeff and Troy, lightly knocked.

Britta, holding Sophie in her arms, opened the door with a soft smile. She said in an almost whisper, “She’s fine.”

_“Hi Mama!”_

Abed’s head snapped up from his space in the middle of the empty room where he was seated cross-legged on the floor. He glared at them. “You weren’t supposed to hand her back to the regular timeline. I knew I couldn’t trust you. You Britta’d it.”

As Annie took Sophie from Britta’s arms, she turned to Abed and said in a stern tone, “I don’t understand why you did this. You can’t just take her without asking me.”

Without moving from his spot, Abed said, “She needed me. If you care for the child, you will bring her back to me. I can help her.”

“Abed, this isn’t funny.”

“You think I’m trying to be funny?”

_“Bed silly.”_

Momentarily slightly flustered at the interruption, Abed continued, “The child will be cared for. She’s upset, and you and Jeff can’t understand.”

Annie exchanged looks with Britta as Jeff and Troy peeked into the room behind them and listened. Annie said, “Why is she upset?”

“The child can’t see.”

“I don’t understand.”

He sighed. “She can’t see. She bumps into things when she runs. She can’t see Hillary Rodham Kitten from across the room. But you and Jeff don’t seem to notice. Someone needs to pay attention to the child. She needs help.”

Annie looked back at Jeff in complete confusion before turning her attentions to Sophie. “Sweetie, you can see, right? Jeff, she can? We would know…right?”

Jeff furrowed his brow as he studied Sophie’s face. “She’s fine. Geesh.”

Troy cringed as he said, “Well, um, actually, Abed and I noticed she doesn’t seem to see so good from far away.”

Annie and Jeff turned to him in surprise.

He nodded and continued, “We don’t think it’s been going on for too long, but in the last couple months or so it kinda seems like she can’t make stuff out. And she’s slammed into a few things when we’ve played Blorgons. But, um, we weren’t sure cause her coordination isn’t always so good and sometimes kids just fall into things. We didn’t want to freak you guys out.”

Annie and Jeff regarded Sophie with confusion. Jeff said, “Hey munchkin, you can see just fine, right?”

_“Hi Daddy.”_

Pursing her lips, Britta stomped out of the room, returning quickly with the larger stuffed bear Abed had given Sophie during the chicken fingers fiasco. She was holding it slightly behind her back out of Sophie’s view but nudged Annie and Jeff so that they would see it. They were intrigued, as the last time they had seen the bear, it was hanging from a noose in the study room. They had no idea Abed still had it.   Jeff noticed the bear was wearing a black felt goatee.

Britta scampered over to the far side of the Dreamatorium and held it aloft. She called out, “Hey, Sophie. What’s this?”

At the sound of Britta’s voice, Sophie smiled and turned her head. _“Tit-ta!”_

“Sophie, what’s this?”

_“What dat?”_

“Yes, can you tell me what this is? What is this called?” She continued to hold the bear up.

_“Dabbly dook.”_

“Okay, but is this an animal?”

_“Yah. Dabbly. What dat?”_

Britta smiled nervously at Jeff and Annie and then began to slowly walk over toward them. As she got closer, Sophie’s expression changed from curious to ecstatic.

She squealed, _“Id bear! Grrr Grrr! Fee wan.”_ She held out her hands for the stuffed creature.

A horrified look came over Annie’s face. Jeff closed his eyes and winced. 

*************************

After going back into the living room and closing the door behind them, Annie turned to Jeff.

“How could we not notice our baby couldn’t see?”

Jeff looked down at Sophie, who was giggling over the new bear. He smiled slightly and said, “I don’t know. It never really occurred to me that she couldn’t. I mean, she obviously used to but something must have changed. Or, I don’t know, maybe she couldn’t ever really see that well? Not far away at least.”

“But we should have known. I’m a terrible mother.”

“Annie, everything’s okay. We should take her to get her eyes tested.”

Annie nodded solemnly and then placed a kiss on Sophie’s head. “Mama loves you, sweetie. I’m so glad you’re safe.” Turning her attentions to Jeff, Troy, and Britta, she said, “I still don’t understand why he took her. He could have just told us she couldn’t see.”

Troy mumbled, “I told you. He’s been mad at me. And he’s been mixing things up lately. He told me there’s different timelines ever since our housewarming party last fall. And he keeps forgetting what day it is. My poor Abed’s confused. I don’t know how to help him.”

“But what does that have to with Sophie?”

Troy shrugged.

With frustration, Jeff slapped Troy on the shoulder and said, “That’s it. I’m getting to the bottom of this.”

He turned and stomped back into the Dreamatorium. 

*************************

“So we meet again, good Jeff.”

Jeff repressed a groan and sat down in front of Abed in the middle of the room. He crossed his legs and mirrored Abed’s pose.

“Okay, you’re going to tell me why you brought Sophie here.”

There was a flicker of something Jeff couldn’t identify in Abed’s eyes. As he began brushing his felt goatee, he said, “I am evil!Abed. I come from the Darkest Timeline.”

“What is the Darkest Timeline?”

“It’s one of the timelines that branched off after Troy and Abed’s housewarming party. Each time you rolled the die, a different timeline was created. I’m honestly confused you don’t understand because I explained it to you at the time. I mean good Abed explained it to you.”

“I see. So, Darkest Timeline is like the worst outcome, is that it?”

“Precisely.”

“Fine. Give me a run down on this one.”

 

X

X

X

Jeff sat almost open-mouthed as he digested evil!Abed’s tale.

“So you see, good Jeff, evil!Sophie needs a playmate and good Sophie needs people who will understand her limitations and not push her to engage in sports or other long-distance activities. You strike me as a sports person, good Jeff, and someone who would likely not be forgiving of a child being different.”

Jeff sighed in annoyance. “That’s crap. I love Sophie. I don’t care if she has perfect vision or not. And I’d never make her feel unwanted.”

Evil!Abed cocked his head to the side and watched him.

Flustered, Jeff widened his eyes and said, “And that whole story you’ve concocted about evil!Jeff and evil!Annie getting married and having another baby together and completely ignoring evil!Sophie is ludicrous.”

Evil!Abed explained calmly, “They haven’t had the baby yet. But it will surely be evil. And they will forget about evil!Sophie.”

Jeff found the words stumbling out of him, “They wouldn’t. They would make sure she always felt wanted and loved, even with another baby.” Suddenly shaking himself, he said with some force, “Goddamn it! There is no ‘other baby,’ so this is purely hypothetical and therefore _a waste of time._ ”

Evil!Abed let out a low roar. “Is it, good Jeff? Good Abed listened at the bar the night of good Annie’s birthday. He heard you both discuss it. And good Abed was aware of good Annie’s pregnancy test in her purse and the engagement ring in your jacket.”

“The what now, hey what…”

\--“Good Abed snoops. He likes to have forewarning. At any rate, once he didn’t hear anything about an impending bundle of joy, he put the issue at rest until I, evil!Abed crossed into his timeline and warned him about good Sophie and her vision. He knew she needed help.”

“Where is good Abed?”

“He figured he was no longer needed in this timeline since good Troy is planning to move out and join the Air Conditioning Repair School.”

“This is the first I’ve heard about that.”

Evil!Abed shrugged. “It’s a fairly new development and admittedly seems to come from left field, but it’s a development nonetheless. Although good Troy denies it, good Abed knows it’s a possibility. Especially given good Troy had voiced his dissatisfaction with their relationship. Good Abed is no longer meeting good Troy’s needs. He has therefore decided to remain in the Darkest Timeline.”

Jeff remarked dryly, “Oh, that makes sense.”

Without appearing to pick up on Jeff’s sarcasm, evil!Abed continued, “It does. Although, you should know good Abed was resistant to the idea of evil!Abed taking good Sophie. He said that didn’t seem right. He wanted to talk to you and good Annie about his concerns about Sophie. But I overruled him.”

Jeff squinted. “It doesn’t sound like good Abed really went voluntarily into the Darkest Timeline.”

Evil!Abed began to laugh maniacally. “You’re astute, good Jeff. Good Abed tried to stop me, but I banished him. He’s not coming back.”

“Just great.” Jeff pursed his lips in thought as he attempted to strategize. 

X

X

X

After waiting for the bouts of evil laughter to calm down, Jeff interjected, “Fine. Tell me about this Troy situation.”

Without missing a beat, evil!Abed said, “Troy will leave Abed. He will move out and he will find someone else. Someone who isn’t romantically stunted.”

Jeff raised a brow.

Evil!Abed continued, “Good Troy is a complex person. Much more so than good Abed initially realized. It appears good Troy wants to date good Britta.”

“I didn’t think good Britta was interested in good Troy.”

Evil!Abed cocked his head once again and said with rapid-fire, “She’s not. If good, I mean evil SantaWizard weren’t around then I have a suspicion she might be. But it doesn’t matter. Good Troy is not having all of his needs met with good Abed.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Well, obviously. I mean, crap, I don’t know what you two do. Honestly, I’m not even sure half the time if you two are like really disgustingly good friends or if you’re together. And by together, I have no idea what that entails.”

Evil!Abed nodded. “I can see why there might be some confusion. Good Abed and good Troy are pure. They have a childlike spirit, and good Troy understands good Abed. He even says they are soul mates. Good Abed was comforted by that, for he thought it meant he’d never be alone again. He has never belonged until he met good Troy and the study group.”

Jeff closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and saying with as much sincerity as he could muster, which he found was actually fairly easy, “Abed you know you belong. We’re all here for you.”

Appearing to catch this statement for a brief moment but then shrugging it off, evil!Abed asked, “Does good Abed know that? He thought he was safe with good Troy, but now he knows good Troy is not happy. Good Troy wants more than the Dreamatorium, he wants more than games, he wants more than snuggles while watching Inspector Spacetime.”

Comprehension dawning on his face, Jeff said, “Ah, snuggles.”

“Good Abed has never snuggled before good Troy. It was a big step in his character progression. But he’s not sure if he can do more.”

Jeff sighed and glanced around the room, noticing for the first time the darkness of the walls and then numerous pieces of orange tape forming a massive grid. He would have been impressed with the dorkiness of it all if he weren’t seriously concerned about his friend. Turning back to look evil!Abed straight in the eye, he said, “I see. Has good Abed talked to good Troy about this concerns?”

There was another flash of vulnerability in Abed’s eyes before evil!Abed answered, “He wanted to. But I convinced him it wouldn’t work. Evil!Troy needs me since he can’t really speak. And evil!Troy is much more willing to be with me because he knows we can raise evil!Sophie and good Sophie together. We can be a family. Troy’s always wanted a family and he’d be a good father.”

Jeff was startled by what he could have sworn was a tear near Abed’s eye. Clearing his throat, he said, “Evil!Abed, listen to me. I don’t think Troy is going to leave you. He’s way too emotionally invested in whatever you’ve got going on here. Voice box or no voice box, he’ll stay.”

“Just like Annie will always stay with you?”

Jeff stared at him as he felt goosebumps on the back of his neck. Furrowing his brow, he said, “I don’t see what any of this has to do with me and Annie.”

“Evil!Jeff knew evil!Annie would leave him. That’s why he proposed and why he agreed to the currently gestating evil!baby. He wanted to hold onto her and evil!Sophie. Evil!Jeff’s afraid of abandonment, just like Abed. I mean, good Abed.”

Jeff looked down at his clasped hands on his lap and began nodding to himself. He muttered, “Well aren’t you just the wisest person? Clearly you are an omnipotent being.”

“Your sarcasm is thick, good Jeff. We haven’t spent much time alone since the first season. I think the original plan was for us to play off one another. Then I saw the chemistry with Troy of course and knew the plot needed to shift. But this current situation is an unexpected delight. We get to recognize our similarities.”

“You’re full of crap.”

“And you get to regress slightly as a character after demonstrating remarkable sensitivity during the first half of this episode.”

“You. Stop it.”

“I hope the audience isn’t completely turned off. After all, this is a highly experimental episode.”

“Knock it off. We’re not on TV.”

“Maybe. But just in case, I should let you know that we’ve diverging significantly from the original plotline. I won’t be trying to cut off your arm.”

“Well, that’s lovely to know.”

“And I’ve noticed Chang seems to have developed amnesia sooner than I would have predicted, and it appears genuine. Frankly, with his current success in his Spanish classes and his solid living situation, I fail to see a scenario where he’d attempt to take over the school. Between you and me, I think it’s a godsend. None of us need to experience that.” 

*************************

Jeff emerged from the Dreamatorium, a look of incredulity on his face. Annie looked up from her spot on the couch next to Troy.

“How is he?”

Jeff plopped down on the other side of her with a groan. “Well, he told me all about some alternate timeline which was apparently created the night of the housewarming party. In this timeline, you and I broke up but then we reconciled and decided to have another baby and get married. And Sophie… where is she?” He began to look around with a frantic expression.

“She’s with Britta in the bedroom. I didn’t think she should overhear us talking.”

He relaxed slightly as he continued, “Good idea. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh right, so in this timeline Sophie feels neglected because we are only thinking about the new baby and ourselves. So Abed and Troy decide to adopt her. He thought our Sophie could join her as we didn’t seem to notice Sophie was different. He’d thought I’d try to force her to be a normally seeing person and be completely insensitive.”

Annie exchanged sad looks with Troy and then turned her attention back to Jeff. She started to sob softly.

Jeff reached over to her, and began to rub her shoulder. “It’s okay, Sophie’s safe. We’ll get Abed some help.”

Between sobs, she said, “Don’t you see? His mom left him to begin a new family with someone else.   And now she doesn’t even visit him anymore.”

“Crap. You’re right.”

Troy interjected, “And his dad’s always trying to get him to be ‘normal’ and doesn’t accept his limitations.” He leaned forward and cradled his head in his hands. “My poor Abed.”

Jeff said, “I think you should talk to him, Troy. Let me fill you in on what he’s told me about you.” 

***********************

Troy entered the Dreamatorium to find evil!Abed still sitting in the middle of the floor. He smiled nervously but with genuine warmth, and plopped down in front of him.

“Hey, evil!Abed.”

“Hello, good Troy.”

“Jeff told me that good Abed’s stuck in the Darkest Timeline.”

“That is true.”

Troy leaned forward and said earnestly, “Can you please give him a message from me?”

Cocking his head, evil!Abed replied, “Of course. I may be evil, but I’m not cruel. What do you want me to tell him?”

Making a fist and tapping it on his knee, Troy said, “Tell him that I love him no matter what. I’m not moving out. I’m going to call Vice Dean Laybourne and make it official. I’ll only join the Air Conditioning Repair School if I can stay and live with Abed.”

“What if he says no?”

Troy scoffed. “Then what is he going to do? Not accept me? Cause I’m an air conditioning savant. And if for some reason he does deny my admission, then I’ll be okay. There are other things I can do, or you know what, maybe I don’t even need the Air Conditioning Repair School to become an air conditioning repairman. Clearly I know more than they do already, so I’m not sure what they can really teach me.”

Evil!Abed appeared to consider this for a moment. “You bring up a very logical point.”

His eyes widening, Troy said, “It is, isn’t it? Like it seems a pretty lame plot point for me to seriously bow down to that guy. And for what? Just to break us up? No way.”

There was a flicker of excitement in evil!Abed’s eyes.

Encouraged, Troy added, “And the snuggles are great. I don’t need anything more.”

Evil!Abed visibly tensed and pressed down on the felt goatee that had begun to hang off his face, the glue having started to melt in the overheated room. He said, “But you do. You’ve dated and been physical with girls. You wanted to do things with Britta.”

Troy shrugged. “Yeah, but to be honest, I wasn’t interested in most of those girls. Especially in high school, I just dated them because the other jocks would have made fun of me if I hadn’t.”

“Britta?”

Troy sighed. “She’s pretty and sexy and really nice, even if she drives me crazy sometimes with all the yelling. But she and I aren’t going to happen. We’re much better off as friends. I love her, but I love _love_ Abed. Cause he gets me. And it breaks my heart to think I might lose him. Please evil!Abed, don’t break my heart. Let good Abed come back.”

Evil!Abed frowned as he continued to hold the goatee on his chin. Looking at the floor, he said, “But what if he can’t give you everything you want?”

“Maybe you could tell me what Abed wants? We could meet in the middle.”

Looking up, evil!Abed said, “He wants things to stay the same but he knows it can’t. Things are already different. He loves you, good Troy, but he’s not sure if he can take things further. He’s becoming more aware that you need a physical relationship, and he’s scared. He’s never been that way with anyone before.”

“It’s okay. Please tell him I won’t pressure him, and if he’s never ready for that, I’ll…”

\--“He doesn’t want you to find someone else. He said he was okay with Sexy European Times but he wasn’t. He’s afraid if you do that you’ll realize you’re happier without him. And he can’t give you babies.”

Troy stilled for a moment before reaching over toward evil!Abed’s goatee. He began to gently pull it from his face. Semi-evil!Abed didn’t resist. Troy said in all earnest, “Please tell him I don’t care. I’m his. And we can have babies, but we’ll have to go the more non-traditional route.” With a slight hesitance, he asked, “Does he want that?”

Troy searched semi-evil!Abed’s face for a reaction.

Semi-evil!Abed nodded. “He does. Good Abed actually has a fondness for children but he’s not sure if he could take care of him on his own. He needs you to be there with him.”

Troy said softly, “Cool cool cool. And I should um, clarify that by non traditional route I meant we’d adopt another kid; _not_ Sophie or evil!Sophie.”

Abed nodded in comprehension. “Good Abed would be okay with that. He may even be okay with trying other things but he needs time. And more snuggles.”

Troy let out a sigh of relief. “You can have all the time you need, buddy. And I’m not going anywhere, no matter what.” 

***************************

Some time later, Troy and a barefaced Abed rejoined Annie and Jeff in the living room. By that point, Britta and Sophie were also present and watching a cartoon on the television.

Annie mumbled to Jeff, “I hope she can see the TV.”

Jeff glanced over at Sophie, who was smiling as she nestled into Britta’s side on the floor. He said, “She seems content. But we’ll get her checked out asap.”

Troy cleared his throat.

They all turned around in surprise, except for Sophie, who sat rapt in front of the television.

Troy smiled sheepishly, his arm around Abed. “Hey guys, look who’s back.”

Abed regarded them all with a notably worried stare.

Gently pushing away Jeff’s arm, Annie stood and carefully made her way over to them. As she neared, Abed took a step back, his eyes widening for a brief moment. Troy let his arm fall away and frantically looked back and forth between Annie and Abed.

Annie asked in a soft voice, “How are you?”

Abed tilted his head and said with the very hint of a tremble, “I’m sorry. I tried to talk evil!Abed out of it, but he zapped me into the other timeline.”

Annie nodded, her eyes wide with concern. “Evil!Abed shouldn’t have taken Sophie. I hope if he ever crosses over into this timeline again that he knows he should come talk to me. I’m good Annie, and I’ll help him.”

Appearing to choke up for a moment but then quickly compose himself, Abed said, “I think evil!Abed knows that now. But not to worry, I don’t think he’s coming back. When I returned, Troy and I cast a spell over the tear in the timelines, therefore sealing it. The Darkest Timeline will no longer influence us. Sophie is safe.”

“That’s good.”

The regarded each other for a few moments in silence.

Abed then said, “Evil!Abed wanted me to tell you that she was always safe. He was going to take good care of her.”

“I know.”

With that, Annie stepped forward and pulled Abed into a hug.

It was later decided Britta and Ian would help Abed get connected to a therapist. Although Britta initially offered to ‘therapize’ Abed herself, everyone quickly jumped in and declared that a terrible idea. Given Abed’s remorse at evil!Abed’s actions, even he acquiesced to the idea of getting professional help. While Annie and Jeff weren’t going to let Abed alone with Sophie anytime soon, they knew on some level everything had changed and that Abed would get better. 

********************************

The Darkest Timeline –

Evil!Jeff grunted as evil!Annie pushed the robotic arm into his right socket. There was a satisfying click as it locked into place.

“Thanks. I feel almost like myself again.” He stretched out the arm and moved the fingers around, smiling evilly at the machine-like sounds.

Evil!Annie tilted her head and looked up at him with her evil!Disney!eyes. “You’re so strong. I’m glad you got another arm before our baby’s born.” She patted her growing belly and smiled.

Evil!Jeff regarded the belly with a frown. “When’s it due anyway?”

With a slight edge in her voice, she replied, “You already know this. Early July.”

“That’s around Sophie’s birthday, right?”

Her face brightening, evil!Annie exclaimed, “Maybe she’ll be born on the same day! Wouldn’t that be fun?”

He startled for a moment. “She?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, we’re having a girl. Isn’t that great?” She smiled up at him, looking for his reaction.

An evil!grin spread over his face as he took in the information.   “A girl? You mean I get to experience all of that stuff I missed with Sophie?”

“Yeah, it’ll be so great. You’ll be an awesome father to our baby.”

As he hugged her while attempting to create some room for the bump that was looking to be a bit more than a ‘bump,’ he felt a jab in his gut. Pulling back with a groan and look of bewilderment, he met evil!Annie’s gaze.

She laughed evilly as she said, “She’s strong, always kicking with such force, especially at this stage. Sophie was never like that. This one’s going to be a wild one.”

“You think?” He smiled evilly at the thought.

Evil!Annie nodded enthusiastically while rubbing her belly. She winced as the next kick came. “She’s going to huge, too. But you’re her daddy, so what else could we expect?” She looked up at him, exaggerating a craned neck to emphasize the difference in their heights.

He stepped back a little and threw up his hands (one robotic) in a defensive gesture. “I’m sorry. But hey, at least she’ll be frickin’ gorgeous. With our genes, what could go wrong?”

Evil!Annie smiled in satisfaction as she reached for him once again, pulling him into a careful hug.

Neither one of them noticed evil!Sophie sitting by the television set. She had on her evil!glasses, clutching her baby doll while a single tear fell down her cheek.

Her bear was sitting on the other side of the room.

 

X

X

X

 

Jeff woke up with a gasp and sat up in the bed.

Annie mumbled, “What’s wrong?”

He still felt his heart pounding, but quickly took in his surroundings. The room was dark. He turned to see Annie lying next to him, her eyes closed. In between them a slumbering Sophie was wrapped in various smaller blankets. She was smiling in her sleep while hugging her bear.

With a sigh of relief, Jeff whispered, “I’m fine. Just had a bad dream.”

He hunkered back down and wrapped his arm around his two girls.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	33. Smut and Yams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much. Oh, and some fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild smut contained within. FYI it’s the penultimate chapter, folks. For part three, that is. ;)

“Here she is!”

The optometrist smiled proudly as she swiveled Sophie’s chair around to face Annie and Jeff.

_“Ta da Mama Daddy!”_

Annie and Jeff exchanged astonished looks and then focused their attention completely on Sophie, who was smiling while sporting a stylish pair of candy-striped plastic framed glasses.

Annie clapped her hands a few times as she exclaimed, “Oh, sweetie, you look so cute! I love your glasses!”

“They’re awesome, munchkin.” Nodding slowly as he leaned forward to inspect the frames, Jeff added with a grin, “I see you went with candy-striped.”

_“Fee wan candy.”_

Jeff snorted as he watched the hobdoll’s eyes grow even larger than he ever thought possible, her head tilting with her continued smile. He marveled at how the frames accentuated her already comedically large eyes.

_Disney princesses don’t have anything on Annie Edison’s child._

He mock frowned and said, “You’re pushing your luck.” Exchanging another glance with Annie, who was regarding him with Disney eyes of her own, he added, “You may, however, get _something_ for putting up with all of this. And so you can grant us your eternal forgiveness for being so unobservant. We apologize for letting you run around blind.”

_“Daddy nice. Now candy, pease?”_

Dr. Grazner cleared her throat. “As I said before, she’s not _blind_. She has correctable vision. Really, I thought we went over this at the first visit.”

Annie thought back to the events of that first appointment, the one where they had nervously presented Sophie, having obtained a referral from Dr. Rich who had explained that eye problems of this magnitude were outside of his expertise. Jeff had been so worried about Sophie that he hadn’t even made any quips about Rich not being an expert in everything. They had thrown themselves on the mercy of Dr. Grazner, a seemingly overly serious but competent optometrist. She assessed Sophie using non-verbal methods and examined her eyes' abilities to focus using a machine designed for that purpose. She had quickly nodded and shared that Sophie did seem significantly near-sighted, meaning she could not see clearly more than about ten feet away.

She had asked about family medical history, with Annie then divulging that Adam had eye problems as a child and had needed surgery; he still wore contacts. Annie had noticed Jeff’s tensing while she explained everything, and Dr. Grazner’s confusion until she clarified Jeff wasn’t Sophie’s biological father.   Luckily, Dr. Grazner then shared that she didn’t think Sophie would need surgery and had most likely inherited early-onset poor vision.

Annie returned to the present moment and smiled sweetly at Dr. Grazner. “Oh, he’s just being dramatic. We understand, but we feel bad we didn’t notice.”

Dr. Grazner nodded in comprehension as she softened her tone and explained, “It’s really tricky to catch at this age. She can’t explain that she can’t see well, and frankly she doesn’t know any different. That is up until now. It’ll be a whole new word for her.” She leaned down to make an adjustment to Sophie’s glasses.

Jeff frowned again as he continued to regard the glasses. “What makes us think she’s going to keep them on? She can barely keep her clothes on half the time. We nearly had a nude wintertime until I pointed out the serious downfalls of frostbite.”

Annie rolled her eyes.

With another quizzical stare at Jeff, Dr. Grazner said, “Once she realizes how much better she can see, she’ll keep them on. Kids her age figure it out pretty quickly. And they’re plastic, just in case.”

Jeff and Annie looked at one another and shrugged.

Dr. Grazner patted Sophie on the head. “You’ll be fine, Sophie. I’ll see you in three months for a checkup.”

 _“Yay! Candy, pease?”_

**********************

Abed was seeing a therapist, twice per week. Annie and Jeff, while being incredibly understanding of Abed’s emotional pain, decided to err on the safe side and not leave Sophie with him alone for the time being. Abed seemed to understand this decision and readily agreed to the terms. Annie almost thought he was relieved. And he seemed to really like Sophie’s new glasses, giving her compliments.

Annie nearly teared up as she watched them interact and didn’t even object when he gave her a candy cane.

“I would have picked those frames too, Sophie. They look like Christmas.”

_“Dank you, Bed. You can hab some of dis. Id okay.”_

Sophie held out her candy cane to him with a smile. 

*****************************

Jeff got used to the munchkin in her glasses. It wasn’t that hard, really, as she was damn adorable. Dr. Grazner had been correct in predicting that she tended to keep them on. Her various _“Oooohs”_ as she looked out the window on car rides told them they had done the right thing. And she was thankfully no longer plowing into the furniture, at least anymore than what Jeff suspected a typical two-almost-three year old would do.

He tried not to think about Adam and his stupid bad eye genes. And he tried not to think about Annie having failed to share this information with him. But as usual, he wasn’t the best anymore at suppression.

While cleaning up after dinner that evening with the bionic hobbit happily entertained via a Dora the Explorer cartoon and Nancy and Ryan by her side in the living room, Jeff turned to Annie and said in a low and sarcastic voice, “So, pray tell what other _fantastic_ medical conditions could she have inherited from her sperm donor?”

Annie tensed, closing her eyes as she carefully placed a dishrag on the counter. She then turned to face him and said, “Could you please not do this?”

“Do what?” He shrugged, his face impassive.

She opened her eyes and picked up the rag to swat him on the chest. “Stop it right now! We were scared about our baby, and now thank god she’s fine. Let’s just be happy.”

He looked off toward the refrigerator, his eyes falling to the todhobbit’s spring project from GCC Daycare, which was held with a magnet on the door. There were a list of questions and the teacher’s handwriting indicated her verbal responses.

 

_What is your favorite color? - Purple_

_What is your favorite food? – Butter_

_What’s your favorite toy? – MY Bear_

_What do you want to be when you grow up? - a Lion_

 

He couldn’t suppress his smile. Annie followed his gaze and let out a giggle.

He said, “Since when did we put that up? She just came home with it today.”

“She wanted to put it on the fridge. We did it before dinner.”

“You know, that’s pretty adorable.”

Annie smiled proudly as she said, “It is. I don’t think she understood the question about what she wants to be when she grows up, though. That seems like a pretty advanced question for a child her age.”

Jeff shrugged as he pulled her into a hug. “I don’t know about that. Maybe she will be a lion. The poor little kid’s had it rough so far, and she’s shown remarkable stamina.”

“Jeff, she hasn’t had it rough.”

He kissed the top of Annie’s head and thought about baby Sophie living above Dildopolis, baby Sophie napping in a cage pen while her mother and her mother’s snarky boyfriend had enjoyed naptime, toddler Sophie’s father virtually ignoring her, and now toddler/little kid Sophie needing glasses to see while her clueless mother and sort-of-stepfather had been oblivious. They had needed a frickin' sort-of-kidnapping to alert them to the issue.

But he knew better than to say any of this out loud, for Annie had been consumed with guilt about the eyesight issue, and everything else was in the past. He made an internal resolution to make Sophie’s life better.

“Seriously, is there any other medical history I should be aware of? Just in case.”

Annie craned her neck to meet his gaze, noticing it was full of concern. “His mom has diabetes. But he doesn’t really know which kind because he doesn’t talk to her. I asked him to find out, but I don’t think I can push it. His dad is healthy. And he’s pretty healthy with the exception of the eye issue.”

“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

She bit her lip and then said, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about any of it before the appointment. I only just found out about the eye surgery, after I told him we were going to get her eyes tested. He hadn’t thought to tell me about it.” She added with weariness, “I wish he had because then I would have been looking for signs of it.”

Jeff tensed some more. He said with an edge in his voice, “Crap. You mean it didn’t occur to him to tell you something like that?”

She shrugged. “I guess not.”

A few beats of silence followed with them regarding one another, a mixture of feelings on their faces.

Finally, Jeff said in an almost whisper, “I would have told you that. If she were mine.”

She sighed. “I know. Sometimes I forget to even think about double-checking information with him. I forget she’s not _ours_.”

He smiled sadly at her.

“Jeff, I didn’t mean to…”

\--“It’s okay. Sometimes I forget too.” 

****************************

“Sophie Ariel Edison, you get back here!”

Sophie turned to face Annie, a mischievous grin on her face. As Annie took a step closer, a naked Sophie abruptly turned and sprinted for the living room.

Jeff walked out of the bathroom holding the ducky towel and shaking his head as he watched a frustrated Annie pursue the wet blob. He looked down at the trail of wet splotches and smiled to himself.

 _At least she’s wearing her glasses._  

x

x

x

After settling in for the night, Annie snuggled up to Jeff. He readily and with familiarity reciprocated, wrapping his arm around her and pulling up the covers so that they were completely ensconced.

Annie laughed. “We don’t need this many blankets. It’s spring.”

“But you like creature comforts. And don’t tell anyone, but I may just like snuggling with you.”

Annie squinted at him as she placed a kiss on his cheek. She then yanked on him to move down even further. “Come to my level. I want to see you.”

“Yes, milady.”

After a moment of maneuvering, they were on their sides facing each other with heads on the pillows. Annie smiled softly.

“She’s getting so big. Glasses that she’s keeping on, she’s saying more complex sentences…”

Jeff interjected, “She refers to herself in the third person, she runs naked through the house. I’m pretty sure she stole half of my dinner roll. Which, err, is okay because I didn’t want it in the first place.”

Annie narrowed her eyes, fully aware Jeff had broken off a piece of the roll and left it tantalizingly close to the edge of his plate. “Jeff.”

Smirking, he said, “I’m just saying there’s room for improvement, but yes, your point is well taken. She’s come a long way. Now that she’s potty-trained our lives will be total freedom.”

She laughed again. “That _is_ pretty cool, isn’t it? No more diapers.”

“Hallelujah.”

She ducked her head slightly as she ran her hand over his light grey t-shirt. After a few moments of blissful silence, she said, “Let’s keep the diaper pail and changing pad stuff, okay?”

He stretched out slightly and asked in an affected breezy tone, “Nancy and Ryan don’t need them?”

“His parents got them a bunch of stuff. They’re covered.”

Without missing a beat, he responded, “I think there’s room in the closet.”

She immediately placed a kiss on his chest and gave a little squeak. He smiled to himself and stared at the ceiling, feeling her curl up even more at his side. After a few moments, he looked back down at her.

She was regarding him with a coy expression.

A grin spread over his face. “What?”

She glanced to the side for a moment and then focused her gaze on him intently. “Since she’s sleeping and we’ve been talking about perhaps _temporary_ freedom, I was wondering if you’d like to um, join me in the kitchen?”

Raising his eyebrows, his grin turned devilish. “I thought you didn’t want to try that again after the _almost interruption_?”

She began rubbing his pecs once again, her mouth forming a mock pout. “That was weeks ago. She’s settled back down. Even if she does wander out of her room it probably won’t be until three am.”

He thought about the recent tendency for the hobsobber to grace them with her presence in the wee morning hours and their tendency, against their better judgment, to cave and allow her to climb into their bed. The sexy times had therefore been reserved for much earlier hours and would end with making sure they were fully clothed in their pajamas before falling asleep.

_We deserve this._

With a respectful tilt of the head he said, “After you, milady.” 

x

x

x

Annie leaned back on the counter and gazed up at him, fluttering her lashes just the way she knew would undo him. Not that she wanted to _undo_ him just yet. No, she thought, this was part of the seduction.

She always enjoyed seducing Jeff Winger. Now that they had been together for a while, she was endlessly surprised at the way he continued to love being seduced. She opened her legs to allow him to step forward, which he promptly did, a hunger in his eyes. She reached for his shoulder, pulling him down into a not-quite-aggressive but definitely assertive kiss.

She could feel him smile against her lips as they eventually pulled apart for some air. He pressed his forehead to hers and began to move his hand underneath the hem of the Greendale hoodie, inching it up so that he could get an eyeful of her thighs.

“Have I told you how gorgeous you are?”

She whined as his hand continued to creep higher, resting teasingly close to her basic blue cotton panties. She mumbled, “Maybe. But you could always say it more often.”

He smirked and moved his hand into the right position, gently rubbing his thumb against her as the rest of his fingers waited for the moment when she was ready. She hummed and began kissing him eagerly and more intently with each circular motion.

In between eventual mild gasps, she placed her mouth near his left ear and said, “Take off your pants.”

With almost comical eagerness, he obeyed and with a pained expression moved back from her and pulled off his pajama bottoms, stepping out of the legs and awkwardly shoving them onto the kitchen floor.   Casting a quick glance toward the hallway, he then removed his purple and blue striped Paul Smiths and placed them delicately on the counter.

Annie stared at them for a moment before narrowing her eyes.

In response, he said adamantly, “What? They’re expensive.”

She shook her head, letting out a low laugh. He placed his index finger to his lips. Her eyes widened as she also cast a quick look down the hallway.

They were in the clear.

She turned back to him and pulled him back down on her, shimmying out of her panties. She noticed him manifest a giddy grin before taking them off her completely and placing them carefully on top of his Paul Smiths. With an exaggerated nod of respect, he waited for her to pull him back down on top of her, where they again began to kiss passionately. She guided his hand back to the spot, urging him to continue. Soon she allowed him to move the remainder of his fingers into place, relishing the sensations and the prolonging of the rest as she felt him grow hard against the inside of her thigh.

“God, Annie.”

“Jeeeff.”

“Please let me know. I want you so bad.”

“Mmmmmm.”

“Taking you on this fucking counter, you have no idea… how….hot…this…is.”

“Jeff, now. Pleeease.”

With the utmost immediacy, he entered her. 

x

x

x

Later on, they agreed that the kitchen sexy times were incredibly hot. Sure, they had at times out of necessity engaged in similar activities above Dildopolis, but this was the first time they had done so out of sheer _want_ rather than need. After all, they had a perfectly fine king-sized bed with luxurious sheets. They had a very plush couch, which had seen some action when Sophie was a baby. But the counter was as Annie phrased it, _forbidden_.

Jeff almost fell in love with her all over again as he saw her eyes light up with the sheer rebelliousness of it all. 

***********************

Fucking Biology 101.

Jeff groaned as he rued the day he signed up for that stupid class. Sure, he got to take it with Annie and the rest of the study group, but with _Todd_ , Professor Kane’s watchful weirdness, and the endless idiotic lab assignments, it was shaping up to be a drag. He wondered if he would have been better off delaying graduation to take a different bio themed class next year, like Beginner Roto-Weeding.

_Well now, let’s not be hasty. Who wants to spend an extra semester at Greendale?_

He refocused his efforts on dealing with the current by all accounts startlingly lame yet tantalizing predicament in front of him:

Dead yams. 

x

x

x

It had started with the text.

3AM.

[Annie]: Want to screw in the biology room?

His pulse had quickened as he turned to his left in the darkness of their bedroom.   He saw Annie’s devious smile in the glow of her phone screen, her eyes still on it.

Quickly rousing himself to the fact that this was happening, he turned back to his phone and replied.

He heard her squeak as she read the response. Smirking, he rolled back over and said, “Really?”

“Yes. What’s the point in having Sophie with your mom tonight if we don’t use the time to our full advantage?”

Sleepily, but with a growing awareness that this was not a dream, he said, “I thought dinner out was the special treat.”

She sighed as turned on her bedside lamp. She stood and threw on a tank top and began to put on her light purple hoodie. “It was. But I was thinking it might be really hot if we did it at school. Neither one of us remember the Dean’s office.”

With horniness mixed with incredulity, Jeff allowed her to haul him to school. 

x

x

x

Which brought him back to the dead yams.

Fucking dead yams.

But instead of fu--- _making the sweet love in the biology laboratory_ , they were now apparently conducting a full on investigation into the crime. That tended to happen when you showed up at the school at three thirty am and a crime scene was underway.

Despite his frustration with the lack of sexy times, Jeff found himself getting swept up in Annie’s investigative and strategic prowess.   Troy, Abed, and Shirley were also incredibly helpful in helping them form their case. He decided to suspend judgment on Britta’s role as Abed clued him in that she wouldn’t be appearing much in the episode.

He resisted a roll of the eyes at that comment, as his attention was quickly pulled to a suit-clad and very lawyerly Annie, her hips swaying just so as she stepped toward him, a legal sized pad under her arm.

“You look amazing.”

She gave her hair a nonchalant flip and sighed with satisfaction before turning back to him, a fanatical look in her eyes. “We’re going to nail this bastard!”

“You think?”

She began to nod vigorously. “I just ran Troy and Abed’s evidence past Professor Hickey, and he thinks we have enough evidence for a trial. He thinks we should take everything to Professor Kane and the Dean.”

He squinted. “Professor Hickey? Your forensics professor?”

A broad smile spread over Annie as she pulled out the legal pad and began to flip through it. “Yeah. I think he’s really proud of me.”

Jeff regarded her curiously. It dawned on him that he had never seen her like this. Sure, he often encountered fiercely determined Annie Edison, but this had an element of something else. It took him a moment to fully realize what it was.

_She’s validated. And she’s proud._

Clearing his throat, he asked, “So this Professor Hickey, you respect his opinion?”

She looked up from the pad and said promptly, “Yes. He used to be a police detective. He solved all sorts of crimes. He has _experience_ , Jeff. He knows what it’s like out there in the real world.”

“Well, I’d hardly call Greendale _the real world_ , but…”

She broke in with a hiss, “Jeff! He doesn’t give praise lightly! He’s so _mean_ in class. You have to work really hard to gain his respect and, I don’t want to count on it too much just yet, but…” She paused for a moment to do an almost giddy dance in her heels, “I think he _respects_ me! He thinks I’m _good_ at this! I’m _something_! I can do this, Jeff!”

He nodded and pulled her into a hug, giving her an extra squeeze due to the fact that while happy for her and their case, part of him was almost breaking. It took him a few minutes to figure out why.

But as Annie placed a kiss on his cheek and clipped off down the hallway, everything hit him.

He wanted to punch Paul Edison in the face. 

x

x

x

When it came time for the trial, they were confident their case was solid. Todd was guilty. There was no other possibility. Jeff watched as Annie worked her magic in front of the courtroom – err, biology lab – and successfully intimidated Todd.

He took advantage of a lull in Todd’s stammers to scan the room, noticing the faces of the biology class members as well as Ian and a few other curious professors. His eyes fell to a gruff looking old man, who seemed familiar to him before he placed him as Ian’s office neighbor.

_Ah, Buzz Hickey._

He marveled again at the effect Professor Hickey had on Annie, and although he had found him a bit rude a few weeks ago, he couldn’t really begrudge him much for it, as Ian Duncan was usually a pain in the ass. He’d made similar comments on many other occasions when he hadn’t wanted to be roped into drama.

He also noticed the way Professor Hickey was watching the proceedings, his arms folded over his chest, leaning back in his chair. His eyes were on Annie, the very hint of a smile on his face. He looked downright impressed.

As Jeff was about to turn his attentions back to Annie, who was in the middle of a rant about the litany of Todd’s crimes against humanity, he and Professor Hickey’s eyes met.

“And my co-counsel, Jeff Winger, will be happy to hand me the evidence in envelope A.”

In that instance, Jeff was aware of the startled expression on Professor Hickey’s face. The man looked at Jeff with almost complete astonishment, his eyes widening as he pulled on his collar and adjusted himself in the chair.

“I said, Jeff Winger will hand me the envelope.”

Flustered, Jeff moved his eyes back to an impatient Annie and handed over envelope A.

Turns out the trial was successful, but not due to their first level of investigation. Jeff and Annie were able to make amends to Todd and Neil confessed, his crime one of passion and a misguided attempt at getting lucky.

They all sympathized.

Too bad a fleeing Starburns blew himself up.

 

 

 


	34. Finale Vibe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang wraps up their third year at Greendale while weathering some semi-dramatic events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay! This is the last chapter for part three. It’s a little longer to make up for the lag, and also because I really wanted to capture the vibe of the S3 finale, which necessitated including a bunch of Greendale characters. ☺

It was a sad day for Greendale Community College. Starburns died, and the Dean was downright hysterical. He had never lost a student before.

Well, technically he had lost a student. Maybe a student or, err, two. Five tops.

Ten?

But not to _death_. He had literally _lost_ them.

_Are they in the vents?_

He was literally slapped back to the present moment.

“Get it together, Craig!”

He looked up at Stephen Spreck, his eyes wide in disbelief. Stephen took a step back and examined his hand in horror, a tear running down his cheek.

He stammered, “I didn’t mean to…. You were screaming. I just wanted you to be okay.” He looked over at the Dean with the expectation of a sullen pout.

Although usually one to attempt to maintain composure when in the presence of such an attractive and slender specimen, the Dean found himself shrieking once again, “Starburns is _dead_ , Stephen! On _my_ watch! And apparently he was running a _meth lab_! Oh my god, I am such a _bad dean_!”

Annie stepped forward, her mouth in a tight grimace, and attempted to hand the Dean some seltzer water. He shooed her away but then paused, seeming to reconsider a moment before grabbing the glass from her and taking a satisfying sip.

Stephen said in a lower and tender voice, “It’s not your fault. There’s no way you could have known.”

The Dean cleared his throat, placed his elbows on his desk, and gently laced his fingers together. Narrowing his eyes, he blurted, “That’s, excuse me, bullcrap. We all knew the guy was shady. But we all looked the other way. And now I have to tell the whole school about it. And we probably have to plan a memorial service. The students need _closure_. I owe it to them. We need to _process_.”

At that moment, Kevin Chang threw open the door and shoved a wide-eyed and platinum-haired Starburns in front of the Dean’s desk. Annie sat up straighter from her spot on the couch and gasped.

Starburns fell to his knees and began scanning the room frantically.

“He faked his death. I found him hiding in the school stables.”

They all stared, mouths open in complete astonishment.

Starburns eyes went to Kevin as he muttered under his breath, “I can’t believe you ratted me out. Not cool.”

A defiant Kevin nodded as he reached down to grab one of his flip-flops, pushing it back onto his left foot. As he stood and pulled up his Bermuda shorts ever so not subtly, he puffed out his chest and said with a smirk, “That’ll teach you for never getting me my frozen pizza.”

The Dean shook himself in disbelief. Staring at Starburns, he said with a screech, “Why on earth would you hide in the _stables_?”

Starburns shrugged. “I dunno.”

Annie and Stephen continued to exchange incredulous looks as they attempted to process what had just occurred. At the Dean’s nonverbal insistence, Stephen joined Annie on the couch. The movement of Kevin out of the corner of her eye momentarily diverted Annie’s attention. She turned her head slightly so that she could watch him as he smugly waltzed over to the Dean’s mini-fridge and leaned over, popping it open and grabbing a lime soda. She rolled her eyes in annoyance and resumed her focus on the fantastic scene in front of her.

“Well now, this will never do. You realize I have to hand you over to the police now, don’t you?”

“For what?”

The Dean began to list on his fingers, “Well, for one there’s the whole faking your death thing…”

\--“That’s not a crime.”

“Yes it is!” Annie chimed in.

Kevin chuckled in the background as he flipped the tab on the soda can.

The Dean continued, “Two, there’s the whole meth lab…”

\--“What meth lab? You have no proof!”

The Dean, momentarily startled, said, “Well, I suppose we don’t…”

Annie interjected, “Your car exploded! They found the ingredients to make meth in the trunk!”

Starburns turned toward her with wide eyes and stammered, “I don’t know how any of that got there! I swear. Why would I blow up my own car?”

The Dean sighed in exasperation. “To fake your death.”

Starburns turned back to him. “Hey, I didn’t fake my death. And actually man, I have no idea what you’re talking about with any of this. I think I hit my head or something. I woke up in the stables. I don’t even know my name. It’s really scary!” He began to rub his head with an exaggerated wince.

The Dean groaned, “Oh come on! Why is your hair bleached?”

“You mean this isn’t the color of my hair?!?” There were frantic pats on the frizzy and straw-colored head.

Annie shouted, “Of course it isn’t!”

“My hair must have lost all its pigment due to fright!”

Annie began to emit a series of incredulous gasps. Stephen turned to her and gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Kevin, who had plopped himself down on the floor and was now sitting cross legged, piped in with what no one present could determine was a sarcastic tone, “Oooooh, maybe he has Changnesia. That’s what I have. But my last name is Chang. Would we call it Starnesia? Cause that sounds way cooler than Changnesia.”

In what could only be described as way-beyond-Greendale-Crazy, the situation quickly escalated as the Dean concluded the whole thing was too much of a bother and readily accepted the notion that Starburns had in fact contracted Starnesia and was therefore not to be held responsible for his actions. Starburns eagerly agreed this was the case and added he might be willing to offer some services while he ‘recuperated.’

Annie sputtered as the Dean and Stephen pushed her and Kevin out of the room so that they could finalize the details, with the Dean issuing her a strict ‘gag’ order.

Determining that the Dean probably didn’t know what a gag order was or how to really enforce it, Annie made her way with a huff down the corridor toward the faculty offices, hoping to find someone more receptive to common sense.

Kevin’s voice trailed after her, “Annie! I wasn’t serious about Starnesia! Even I know that _no tiene_ _ningún sentido!”_

 

X

X

X

 

Annie sat across from an aggrieved looking Professor Hickey.

She pounded a fist into the palm of her other hand. “So you see, we have to do something! He’s committed a serious crime! Multiple crimes, in fact!” 

Professor Hickey let out a wearied sigh. “Miss Edison, these are serious charges.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!”

“But you have no evidence. And criminy, you know it.” Hickey pushed his chair forward and plopped his elbows on his desk.

Annie deflated somewhat as she crossed her arms. “I know. But how can we just let him get away with it?”

Hickey shrugged. “Sometimes they get away with it. But really, may I suggest you have Chang conduct surveillance? Always use the weirdos to do stuff like that so it’ll free you up to do more important work. And it’ll keep him busy.   Worst case you turn up nothing.”

Annie nodded.

“So let’s talk about the real reason you’re here.”

She startled. “I’m sorry?”

“You’re exam’s in an hour. What do you want? You’ll get an A, by the way, not because I’m psychic or granting specific favors, but you always do. So I wouldn’t worry about it.”

Annie smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.   I did study a lot, so I feel prepared.”

Grunt.

“But there is something I wanted to talk to you about.” 

*********************************

Given the recent developments after the Yam Case, there was no need to have a memorial service. Consequently, the school year seemed to be wrapping up peacefully. The students were enjoying their last meals of the week in the cafeteria, and everyone remained civilized, for GCC standards that is.

The Subway eatery remained intact.

For some reason, Starburns, or ‘Alex’ as he was now called, was doing odd jobs for the Dean, such as mopping up the cafeteria after the last lunch rush and resuming his work as a fry cook. There were rumors that he wasn’t being paid but then again most GCC workers weren’t necessarily paid on time or had worked out bartering arrangements.

Annie watched Alex with steady eyes from the lunch table as the rest of the Study Group chatted amicably about the upcoming end of Biology 101. Well, everyone else seemed in good spirits, except Jeff who sat crammed over his biology textbook as he muttered, “Cellular mitosis. What is it?”

 

X

X

X

 

The Dean, although attempting to think of himself as more of a _regular_ for the past year, had been preoccupied by his rivalry with Vice Dean Laybourne. At some moments it had almost consumed him. If it hadn’t been for Annie’s wise counsel, he might have allowed himself to get completely derailed by the whole thing. He thanked the heavens that he had instead eventually channeled his energy into his war with City College.

Of course Annie had given him a good scolding about that and with a long sigh had told him that’s not what she meant when she had told him to focus his attentions on Stephen Spreck instead. But he eventually had gotten the hint. He had to admit Annie Edison was even smarter than he had ever given her credit for, and he had certainly always appreciated her brains. She was a reminder to him that he owed his students to be a good dean.

In keeping with being a good dean, he smoothed things over with Vice Dean Laybourne. After all, they had coexisted for many years without too much drama, so he saw no reason to escalate things. But when Vice Dean Laybourne came to him in his office with a demand for Troy Barnes, he held his ground.

Standing in his most intimidating pose, chest thrust out and eyes appropriately squinty, the Dean stated, “Absolutely not. He told me he didn’t want to join the Air Conditioning Repair School. He said you’ve been almost _stalking_ him!”

Vice Dean Laybourne let out a low thundering laugh. “Oh please, he wants to join us. I don’t care how many times he says no! I can see it. He has the makings of a True Repairman!”

Placing his hands on his hips to give a slight edge to his gravitas, the Dean countered, “Have you never heard anything about _consent_? Why if I went around and indulged every whim I had and didn’t respect boundaries, I’d be sexually harassing Jeff Winger!”

“Wouldn’t we all, my dear bald friend, wouldn’t we all!”

The Dean took a step back and paused. “Sorry, what?”

“What?” Vice Dean Laybourne blinked twice as he adjusted his tie.

The Dean gave an exasperated sigh as he motioned with one hand in a shooing gesture. “Anyway, I can’t because Annie would _kill me_ , but that’s besides the point, it’s _wrong._ And you’re _wrong_ in thinking you can force Troy Barnes, our star quarterback into your stupid little cult!’

“How dare you talk to me that way!”

Both Deans stepped forward and stared at each other with steely eyes.

A slightly trembling voice broke in, “Um, excuse me guys, but since this is about me, can I say something?”

The Dean instantly melted, his head ducking as he placed one hand on his chest and turned with a small smile. “Sorry Troy, I forgot you were sitting there.”

Troy rose to his feet from his spot on the couch. “Please stop! Dean, I so appreciate you defending my honor really…”

\--“You’re very welcome.”

“But I can do this myself.” Troy turned to face the Air Conditioning Repair administrator. “Vice Dean Laybourne, there is no way I’m joining the Air Conditioning Repair School. You guys, and I mean this most respectfully, are _crazy_.”

Perched in the corner and chomping on his popcorn, Abed piped in, “This scene has taken an unexpected turn. I like it.” Cocking his head, he added, “I hope this episode doesn’t wrap things up too neatly though. The way we have been going lately, I worry we might be heading for a nice series finale vibe. That would be a shame.” 

*******************************

_“I not a baby!”_

Jeff looked up from efforts at preparing Sophie’s breakfast. It was the day of their biology final; he pushed his textbook to the side, as he had been attempting to both study and scramble her eggs. So far, he had been _scrambling_ to find time to study, almost frantic at the thought of failing. But he was doing his best to present a cool vibe.

Casting a bemused glance at the perhaps not-so-baby hobbit, he said, “Wow. First person. Kudos, munchkin.”

_“I not a baby! Daddy, I not!”_

He took a moment to register the expression on her face. She was sitting in her booster seat at the table and her face was contorted into what he could only describe as rage. He made every effort to suppress his laughter as she slammed a fist on the table.

Clearing his throat, he said, “I didn’t say you were a baby. I know you’re not a baby.”

_“Yah, Daddy! Dey say I a baby! I not!”_

He pushed a slice of bread into the toaster and asked, “Who says you’re a baby?”

_“Kids! Dey call me a baby dat cries! I not a baby!”_

Jeff turned off the stovetop and scooped some of the egg pieces onto a purple plastic plate. He placed this to the side while he awaited her toast. He then walked over to her and sat down opposite.

“Did someone call you a crybaby?”

He watched as some tears dripped down her cheeks. With a sigh, he reached over and gently removed her glasses and placed them on the table. He grabbed her napkin and carefully dabbed her face.

_“Yah. I sad. Mama und Daddy go.”_

Nodding in comprehension, he said, “I see. So kids at school called you a crybaby when Mama and Daddy left yesterday?”

Appearing to calm down, Sophie relaxed her fists and looked at him despondently. _“Yah.”_

“Wow. That wasn’t very nice of them. It’s okay if you cry when we leave.”

_“Yah. But I NOT a baby. Okay, Daddy?”_

“Oh, I see. It’s not the crying part. It’s the baby part. Gotcha.” He winked.

_“I a big kid.”_

“Of course you are. And one day they’ll see that. You’ll grow so big that you’ll stomp all over them.”

_“Yah. I get big like daddy. Daddy big!”_ She raised her arms up to illustrate her point.

Jeff smiled at her sadly. “Sure.”

It was moments like these when his warm feelings were interrupted by a punch to the gut. He always attempted to keep perspective. There was nothing that could change the situation, that they didn’t have biological ties. And while Adam was tall, he wasn’t nearly as tall as him, and at any rate, it was looking like the hobbit was going to be at the lower end of the height spectrum. He took a deep breath and attempted to divert his attention from what he could only describe as a low ache.

He hunched in closer to her and squinted, which elicited a smile. He told himself none of it mattered; he thought he understood Sophie Ariel Edison quite well.

Hearing the popping of the toast, he stood and patted her on the head. “You okay?”

_“Yah. Kiss?”_

“But of course.” He planted one smack on her cheek, and she giggled in response.

_“I wan bed.”_

“Sure. Bread coming up. And I’m really liking this first person stuff. Good job for the second to last day of school.”

He walked into the kitchen, cut the toast in half, buttered it, added a little peanut butter, and placed it on the plate right next to the eggs. He added a few banana slices to round out the plate.

As he made his way back to the table, he reflected on how he really needed to review cellular mitosis again. For some reason that concept just would not stick in his mind. He figured the hobmuncher would spend at least a few minutes, perhaps as much as ten if she lingered as she sometimes did over her bananas, which would give him a chance to quickly review. So far he had been interrupted a zillion times this morning.

He glanced down the hallway to see the closed bedroom door, realizing Annie was still getting ready. He hadn’t wanted to clue her in to his panic, as she seemed stressed out enough about the end of the school year as it was and had been ranting about something with the Dean. He honestly hadn’t been paying too much attention to it, figuring it was just another one of the Dean’s cases of wildly poor judgment and misguided affections for the students of Greendale.

He put the plate down on the table with another wink and then turned to jog back into the kitchen so that he could grab his textbook. As he reached for it and pivoted around, he heard the hobmonster erupt into a high-pitched scream. 

 

x

x

x

He didn’t have any luck in figuring out what was freaking her out. She kept shrieking as she stared at her plate. He was sitting next to her and making loud shushing noises. Finally, he did what he should have done immediately. He made the shushing hand gesture right in front of her face.

To his relief, she stopped, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. He leaned over and made eye contact with her. “So what’s the deal?”

She stared at him and smiled slightly. _“Daddy fix id.”_

“Sure, I’ll fix it.”

_“Dank you, Daddy.”_

“What do I need to fix? What’s wrong?”

Her eyes popped open in first disbelief, and then he could have sworn betrayal, and finally a look of sheer panic.

The screaming resumed.

 

x

x

x

Annie rushed from the bedroom, her hair half wet and her blouse unbuttoned. She stopped suddenly as she took in the sight of an exasperated Jeff attempting to reason with a crying Sophie.

“I don’t know what you want. I don’t know what’s wrong.”

The crying turned into soft sobbing.

Jeff pleaded, “Why don’t you eat a piece of banana? That’ll make everything better.”

The high-pitched shrieking resumed.

Annie placed her hands over her ears and walked over to them. Jeff looked up at her and shrugged.

Narrowing her eyes, she glanced down at the plate. She immediately sighed. “Oh, well, you did it wrong.” She picked it up and gave Sophie a kiss on the head.

Sophie instantly stopped screaming and appeared to be almost dazed in relief.

Jeff frowned. “I did what wrong?”

“Her food is touching. You can’t have the eggs, toast, and bananas too close to one another.”

Jeff stared at her in disbelief. “Crap, you have to be kidding me.”

Annie grimaced. “No, Jeff, she’s been doing this lately. I’ve been making her breakfast, and for the past week she’s insisted on this. I told you all about it, but you weren’t listening.”

“But I make her dinner, and she’s…”

\--“You make her spaghetti, and it’s all together. That’s fine. It’s the individual items.”

He groaned and placed his forehead down on the table.

“Are you okay?” She patted his shoulder.

_“Yah daddy, you okay?”_

“Peachy.”

He reached out his hand and grabbed his textbook and pondered if he really knew Sophie that well at all. She was always surprising him. Sometimes he felt like a really lousy father. 

********************************

Turns out Subway was fickle. After dealing with too many poor health code violations after a surprise inspection – there were rumors of an anonymous tipster but none of that could be proven – they announced they were cutting their losses and leaving GCC. The Dean, although initially miffed, was quickly put at ease by Shirley and Pierce, who jumped in with offers to begin their business at Subway’s old location in the cafeteria. It was a seemingly random and fortunate timing for the beginning of Shirley’s Sandwiches.

Kevin peeked out from under the cafeteria table as he watched Pierce hand Alex a wad of cash. Shirley looked on, grinning gleefully as she pressed her fingers together.

 

X

X

X

Despite his detective work, which for some reason Annie told him to put on hold after he came to her with his latest tip, Kevin Chang finished the semester with honors. The new Spanish teacher, Professor Perez, had never seen a student with such quick grasp of the Spanish language, especially given that said student had Changnesia. Kevin felt confident in his work and ended up helping Ian keep up their apartment more. He even did some more cooking. Although they had their differences, Ian was finding that Kevin Chang was a much more agreeable roommate than Ben Chang and therefore they opted to make the arrangement more permanent, deciding to go apartment-hunting for a larger place so that they could each have more privacy.  

The only condition was that Kevin wear proper footwear. No one needed to see his toes.

 

X

X

X

The Dean sighed happily as he felt Stephen’s arms around him.  He mumbled, “The best decision I made this year was not letting our petty community college wars come between us.”

“Shh….stop talking.   City College is still better than Greendale. We have no need to prove ourselves.”

“Why, I never! Listen here, just because you’re good at spooning doesn’t mean you can talk to me that way.”

“I said shhh… you’ll ruin it.”

“Well, um, fine, I guess.” 

*******************************

Jeff knew he was turning into a sucker. Well, who was he kidding? He was always a softie for Annie and the not-so-baby hobbit, even before Annie first batted her eyes at him.

He could do this. He could do this and study for his biology final. And graduate on time. And then go back to law, easing his way out of Hamish, Hamish, & Hamlin and into a nice little cushy law firm with Mark. And then he could keep the hobbit in carb and cheese laden comforts, and he’d have enough money to make sure she’d grow up to be a well-adjusted adult without any of the emotional scars he and Annie had. And he and Annie could live happily ever after.

That was the plan.

But first, he needed to rescue the hobsobber, as he had gotten word from Julie, Henry’s mom, that Sophie had been having a meltdown after he and Annie dropped her off that morning. It was really the second-to-last-day of daycare anyway before she’d be home with him or Annie in the summer. And he remembered her frustrated face from that morning. His heart almost hurt. For doing a crappy job at speaking her language, the least he could do was to make it up to her and pull her out of that hellhole.

Despite not being called by the daycare, he knew what he had to do. And he couldn’t bother Annie with it, as she was taking her calculus final that morning.

So he slapped his biology textbook under his arm, grabbed the bear from the backseat of the Lexus, and went off to go do the goddamn right thing. 

******************************

Jeff was with Sophie at Annie’s desk, waiting for Annie to finish up her final. Although part of him initially loathed the idea of hanging out near the Dean’s office, he had acquiesced at the Dean’s suggestion due to the fact that perhaps surprisingly for Greendale, all of the study rooms were currently in use due to it being final exam week. The rest of the Study Group were busy either attempting to open a Sandwich shop or taking other exams. But Jeff had only one left. The dreaded Biology 101 final.  

He stood hunched over his textbook as he muttered to himself, “Cellular mitosis. What is it?”

_“Datosis! Id geen.”_

“I don’t think cellular mitosis is green, munchkin.”

_“Id IS, Daddy. Id geen und it cool cool cool.”_

He looked up from his book to see Sophie staring at him through her candy striped glasses, looking earnest in her attempt to help him study biology.

He smirked and began to push her around in the swivel chair as she clutched her bear and gasped into hearty chuckles.

“Hold on, munchkin.”

_“Ya, Daddy! Go go go!”_

As he found himself grinning like an idiot he saw a shadow out of the corner of his eye and heard a loud clearing of a throat. He gently moved the chair around one more rotation before helping it come to a complete stop. He looked over to see Professor Hickey standing in front of the counter.

“Oh, hello, Professor Hickey, isn’t it? It’s good to see you again. I don’t think we’ve officially met. I’m Jeff Winger.”

He extended his hand. Professor Hickey regarded it with skepticism before casting a look over toward a smiling Sophie. As his gruff expression softened, he almost absentmindedly shook it.

“Oh hey, this must be Sophie.”

Jeff, surprised at the change in tone, said, “Yup. This is Sophie Edison. Munchkin, can you say hello to Professor Hickey? He’s Mommy’s teacher.”

_“Hi. You like mama?”_

Hickey nodded, the corners of his mouth moving up slightly into what Jeff could have sworn was almost a smile. His answer was in a serious tone, but with the hint of bemusement, “Yes, your mommy’s all right. She’s one of my better students.”

_“Mama nice. I miss mama.”_

Jeff motioned Hickey to move around past the counter. As Hickey was coming behind the desk, Sophie asked, _“You like Daddy? Daddy nice too.”_

Hickey paused for a moment, his eyes moving from Sophie to Jeff. He replied with a huff, “I don’t know your daddy very well. We’ll see.”

Jeff’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“But if he’s your daddy I’m sure he can’t be that bad.”

Remembering the time their eyes had locked in the courtroom, err, biology lab, Jeff handed Sophie a packet of cheese crackers, whispered something to her, and then stood upright and said in a casual tone, “Hey, I know we sort of met in Ian’s office a little bit ago; he’s an old friend of mine actually.”

“Yeah, he told me. We chat.” Hickey leaned down and actually smiled at Sophie as he gently poked her bear in the chest. Sophie giggled through her bites of cracker.

Jeff watched this interaction curiously as he added, “Right. But I think we also saw each other at the yam trial. You were in the audience.”

“You might be correct.”

Frustrated at what appeared to be unnecessarily guarded answers, Jeff pushed on, “It might have been my imagination, but you seemed surprised to see me. Why is that?”

Hickey visibly tensed and stood. Resuming his blank stare of likely affected boredom but more resembling constipation, he grunted, “You seem to be full of questions, Mr. Winger.”

“One might say you looked astonished. Let me guess, you weren’t expecting me to be older than Annie, is that it? You’ve done the math, you see Sophie here, you…”

Hickey winced. “Oh for crying out loud. I’m offended by that question.” He lowered his voice as he said, “I know the origin of the kid. I’ve heard all about it. I merely didn’t know what you looked like until that moment.”

Jeff tilted his head. “I still don’t understand why that matters.”

Hickey let out a loud groan. “I’m not being judgmental. I have a gay son, and I love my gay son, but that was something I really had to adjust to. So I really don’t care about some stupid age difference.”

“But see, I still don’t get why you reacted to the sight of me like that.”

Hickey shrugged. “Sometimes when you see a person, they become real to you.”

Jeff squinted. “Huh?”

Hickey grunted again, “I have an appointment with the Dean. I’ll let myself back, shall I?” He smiled once again at Sophie and gave her a slight wave before looking back up at Jeff with a stern and unreadable expression.

Taken aback at the abrupt shift in tone, Jeff said, “Yes. Good to meet you.”

There was a grunt in response. 

********************************

The Study Group, plus Ian and Kevin, looked up from their spots around the long picnic table outside near the quad. Jeff again was the only one who did not, as his face was plastered in his biology textbook while he maneuvered Sophie on his lap.

Abed continued, his hands waving in a dramatic fashion, “So Subway left without any fires, Shirley and Pierce seem to be getting along, the Dean was not held hostage, Troy stood up to Vice Dean Laybourne and became his own man…”

“Thanks, buddy.”

Finger guns back at Troy.

\--“And he doesn’t even have to move out. Britta is canoodling with the evil Santa Wizard…”

“Why Bloody hell! I am not an evil wizard!”

Chocking gasps. “Abed, I am not _canababling_ with anyone!”

“Well, err, that’s not entirely true, love.”

“Love?”

“That was just, err, an expression! It was an expression! Hey, come back here!”

Abed watched as Britta jumped up and ran from the table, Ian following. He continued, unfazed, “Starburns, or as we must now call him, _Alex_ , is alive. I don’t foresee this having much of an impact on our group or Greendale as a whole, despite Annie’s protests…”

\--“Abed! He’s faking it!’

“He very well may be. But frankly, and I say this with all due respect, Annie, but does anyone besides you really care? And I suspect your indignation is more of an excuse to investigate a cause, to really sink your teeth into your passion, and perhaps, dare I say it, to seek the mentorship of a trusted male figure…”

Annie’s eyes went wide. Shirley smiled sweetly and not-so-carefully jabbed Abed in the side.

He noticeably winced, but merely paused for a moment before, while casting a curious look at Annie, continued, “And Jeff, well, what can I say, is kind of a low point. He hasn’t been doing much in his episode, I’m afraid. Which is unexpected, since he should be our protagonist. And yet, here he sits, the only one of us actually studying for our biology final.”

Jeff hummed something but didn’t look up from his book, again shifting Sophie on his lap.

Abed added, “So everything seems nice and neat. Yada yada yada. Boring.”

_“Da boring, Bed.”_ Sophie chomped down on her sandwich.

Abed tilted his head as he replied, “Yes, Sophie, it is indeed boring. I was really hoping we’d have more exciting adventures.”

With a groan, Jeff lifted his head slightly and made eye contact with Abed, who as usual appeared to be studying him.

“Can you please knock it off? And doesn’t anyone here care about studying? We have our last final this afternoon. And I don’t know about the rest of you, but I cannot fail this class.” He paused to place a kiss on the top of Sophie’s head. “It is not an option.”

Kevin leaned forward eagerly. “Can I babysit Sophie while you guys take the final? I can’t remember, but I bet I’m really good with kids.”

Annie and Jeff exchanged alarmed looks. Annie squeaked, “That’s sweet, Kevin, but we’re going to put her back at daycare for a couple hours.”

Jeff opened his mouth but Annie arched a brow as she added, “Right, Jeff? She can go back. She’s fine there.”

“Fine or fyne?”

Ignoring Abed’s question, Jeff nodded and said, “Yeah, you’re right. I guess our final won’t take too long.”

Annie smiled softly. “She’ll be okay. She’s just having separation anxiety again. But if we act like it’s a big deal, then she’ll only get more upset.”

Shirley nodded. “She’s right, Jeffrey. Just throw her back in there, and she’ll calm right down.”

Jeff frowned at both of them and then leaned down and whispered something to Sophie, eliciting a little chuckle from her.

_“You silly, Daddy.”_

“Yeah, I know.”

Annie watched the interplay, a small smile forming. As the others began to talk amongst themselves, Jeff lifted his head and met Annie’s gaze.

He mouthed silently, “What?”

She shook her head, seemingly bemused. She then mouthed back, “You’re adorable.”

He smirked and gave a shrug before handing Sophie her sippy cup and resuming his perusal of chapter five.

“All right. Cellular mitosis. What is it?”

Annie continued to watch them thoughtfully. 

******************************

They took their biology final. Jeff paced frantically in the quad as he waited for Annie to finish up. He knew she tended to double-check her responses just to make sure. Normally he would find this kind of hot in a way, but today he was impatient. He found himself irritated with the fact he had an urge to double-check his answers with hers.

_God what is happening to me? We should really just cut loose, let the cards fall where they may, and show up tomorrow and see how we did on the exam. No need to agonize over it. Yeah, I’ll just be loose. What’s it Annie always says, loosey goosey?_

His eyes shot up as he heard the soft yet determined steps of her approach. She was smiling radiantly at him as she almost skipped to his spot. He relaxed his shoulders slightly and affected what he hoped was a convincing return smile.

As she neared, her expression shifted to concern. “What’s wrong?”

He shrugged and scoffed.

She lowered her voice. “I’m sure you did fine.”

“Yeah, um, of course. Hey, what did you put for question five?”

She straightened up slightly, pulling on her backpack straps. “This won’t help, Jeff. Trust me.”

He sighed and looked up at the sky. “You’re right.”

She nodded thoughtfully as she scanned the quad. “I haven’t had the best day either. Professor Hickey confirmed I won’t be able to graduate on time since I need to take more classes after switching my major.”

Jeff looked back down at her with concern. “Crap. Really?”

She rolled her eyes in an attempt at loosey-goosiness. “Yeah. It’s what I suspected, but I think part of me thought I could figure out a way to get out of a few classes, claiming some of my other coursework might count, but it won’t. Plus, he thinks I should do an internship before I graduate, which would add on a whole semester in itself but make me much more competitive for jobs and grad school.”

“Well, then you should definitely do an internship.”

“I know. But this means I won’t graduate for a whole other year.”

“It’ll be okay, Annie. A year’s not a big deal.”

She bit her lip and then said with a slight tremble, “Sophie will be almost five.”

He looked at her with confusion. “Well, I guess. But I’m sure she won’t care when you graduate. I think she’s barely aware we actually have other existences outside of her sphere.”

Annie gave a tight smile, hesitating for a moment before she appeared to switch gears and say, “We should pick her up and get dinner. Maybe we could join the others at Shirley’s Sandwiches? She hasn’t opened officially yet, but she’s doing a trial run in about an hour and she said she’d feed us all for free. Andre’s bringing the boys too. Maybe Sophie can play with Ben.”

“Right. Yeah.”

“It’ll be fun.”

He finally kissed her briefly in a belated greeting and they walked off toward the daycare center, hand in hand. Annie gave his a squeeze as she said wistfully, “I bet Sophie had a better afternoon. I know you were worried about her.”

He grumbled, “I just don’t like kids making fun of her.”

“They’re so little, Jeff. They don’t mean it.”

“And she was sad we left. I don’t want her to feel abandoned.”

“That’s a really strong word. She knows we always come back. She’s just going through a phase.”

“Which we should help her out with. But at any rate, you’re right, I’m sure she’s fine. And we’ll have her with us this summer anyway, so hopefully she’ll feel more secure.”

Annie stopped walking and tugged on his hand. They turned to each other, and she looked up at him with a smile. “I love the way you look out for her. You’re a really good father.”

Jeff bit his lip. “Um, thanks. I try.”

Her eyes widening, Annie added, “It makes me love you even more when I see how much you love her.”

He felt his cheeks blush as he said, “Thank you. I love you too, you know. And you’re a wonderful mother.”

He watched as her eyes teared slightly. She batted her lashes twice before resuming eye contact and then taking his other hand in hers.

“What is it?”

Annie hesitated a moment before she replied, “I was thinking. Since my graduation is delayed, maybe we could think of the whole situation in a different way, one that might give us certain advantages.”

He furrowed his brow. “I don’t follow.”

She smiled nervously and began to jut out her jaw slightly, the way she did when she was attempting to give herself a pep talk. “We have a lot of flexibility at Greendale. I have a close relationship with the Dean, and I’m pretty sure if I frame it to him in the right way, he’d be more than happy to figure out a way so that the daycare center is an option.”

Jeff squinted at her. “Daycare? But I thought we were going to put her in 4K? I suppose that’s not a full day anyway, but I don’t know if it makes much sense to get her from school and haul her back to Greendale daycare.”

“That’s not really what I meant…”

\--“Look, I know you and your mom are still working things out, but her suggestion of paying for an afterschool program is not a bad one, Annie. While Greendale daycare might be fine for her now, I think by age four she’d do a lot better in something more shall we say, _structured_. And with fewer amnesia victims nearby.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “I agree. And I’m even open to the idea of my mother paying for it. It’ll make her feel useful and maybe she’ll leave me alone.”

“Annie.”

Shifting her expression to one more soft, she continued, “What I meant was babies need their moms. When Sophie was an infant, it was really nice to be able to have her so close to me and to be able to run over to the daycare center in between classes to nurse her.   It’s actually a much better situation than it would be if I were working some place.”

She looked up at him hopefully.

His eyes widened as he finally understood what she was saying. He cleared his throat. “Ahh.”

She continued to regard him with an eager intensity he hadn’t been expecting right now. He found himself unnerved.

He let out a long sigh. “Annie.”

She gave his hands a squeeze. “Let’s have another baby.”

He felt his head become dizzy, the blush from his cheeks now transforming into a full on flush encompassing his throat and upper chest. “Can we, um sit down for a sec?”

She nodded and followed him over to a bench. Turning to him with an earnest expression, she said in an almost pleading tone, “You said we could keep her baby stuff.”

He leaned forward and cradled his head in hands for a few moments. He then managed to say, “I thought we were talking later. What, um, are you thinking?”

She shrugged and prattled on with hypomanic energy, “Soon I guess? If I do an internship in my last semester, then I’d want to have the baby before then and be able to nurse them up until that point, and then I guess if I were working full time I’d have to pump, but I’m sure I could do it, but I’d want them to be a little bit bigger by then, so….”

He sat up and interjected, “So you mean like soon, soon?”

She nodded, a gleam in her eye.

He took a moment to steady himself before he looked at her intently and said, “Annie, this doesn’t make any sense. How do you expect to give birth to a baby and finish up your fourth year? You’d be behind, and then your fifth year internship plans won’t even line up. It’ll take you _six_ years.”

She frowned and appeared to ponder this for a moment.

“But if I have the baby next summer, that would work, right? Just like I did with Sophie. I could start classes again in the fall.”

Jeff winced. ”You’re only twenty one.”

“So? You’re thirty three.”

He let out a long sigh and leaned back against the bench. “I know you have it in your head you want our kids to be close in age, but frankly, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. You have stuff you want to do, and while yes, I suppose we could go ahead with this plan, remember things don’t always work out like you think. Suppose, for instance, we couldn’t conceive for a while? What then? The timeline’s shot to hell. And heck, what if we can’t have a kid at all? You can’t get attached to this idea, you can’t…”

Annie shook her head and broke in, “Are you worried that we can’t have a baby?”

“No, of course not.” He scoffed as he moved his eyes toward the quad.

She regarded him thoughtfully, reaching over to gently pat his leg. “I still want to be with you, even if we can’t. But I want to try.”

He found himself saying abruptly, “I think we should be married first.”

Uncharacteristically, Annie waived her hand. “We can wait until I graduate and then plan something really nice.”

Jeff stared at her incredulously. “Do I get a say in any of this?”

She sputtered, “Of course you do!”

He cleared his throat and sat up straighter, leaning in so that he could look directly into her eyes. “Annie, I think we should put a pin in this idea. Today is not the day we make this decision. And to be honest, right now I’m heavily leaning toward _no_.”

She looked at him sharply.

He continued, “It’s not that I don’t want to do it. It’s that I don’t want to rush into it. We have a lot of changes coming up. And frankly, I don’t really like the idea of us having another kid, you rushing off in a scramble to finish your degree, and then us someday putting together a wedding. I kind of think we should go the more traditional route in our not-so-traditional relationship.”

“Well, I suppose we could elope…”

\--“Annie, we are not eloping. I promised you that, and I know what you want. And right now, I don’t think you’re thinking clearly.”

She scoffed but then her lip began to tremble as she looked down.

He continued, his voice softening, “You just found out your perfect graduation plan is shot, and you’re panicking. But see I have faith that we can figure this out. But before we decide anything, I think we should find out if we passed Biology 101.”

He watched her as she stared at their entwined hands for several moments of silence. Finally, she looked up and met his gaze, an embarrassed smile on her lips.

“You’re right. I may be panicking. Just a little.”

“Um hmm.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry.” Tilting her head, she regarded him curiously. “Since when did you become so emotionally aware?”

“I may be familiar with making impulsive decisions in a state of panic.”

She let out a low laugh.

“Don’t tell anyone.” 

******************************

They all passed biology.

As the Study Group strutted down the hall, high fiving each other and giddily discussing summer plans, Abed interjected, “So we’re wrapping it up. Troy and I are moving our bedroom into the Dreamatorium.   You’re welcome, Britta.”

There was a snort.

Abed continued, “Shirley’s Sandwiches is having it’s grand opening later today, and Jeff and Annie seem to be cozier than ever, which while sweet is somewhat concerning to me, as I would have expected another development to have occurred, to end us on a cliffhanger if you will.”

Jeff came to an abrupt stop in the hallway, the group following his lead. They all stared at Abed.

Jeff cleared his throat and said, “Can we just end this year on a good note? Everything’s fine. Yes, f-y-n-e. Okay?”

Abed seemed to consider this for a moment and then nodded. “Yes.”

“Good.”

As Jeff was about to resume leading the group, Abed added, “But given that the second half of this year’s theme seems to been coming to terms with one’s family of origins, I would think we’d see a resurgence of interest on your behalf in reuniting with your father. He’s cast a shadow over you, Jeff, and in a traditional man conquers world story you’d be feeling compelled to seek him out, to unleash your disappointments and anger on him, and in the process perhaps learn something about yourself, finally healing and being able to fully emotionally commit to Annie, Sophie, your friends, and your career in a more honest and authentic way.”

Annie cast Jeff a look of alarm, as there was an eerie bubble of silence encasing the group in the otherwise busy corridor. Jeff smiled tightly at her and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Abed, I have no interest in seeking out my father.”

“That’s interesting. Why not?”

“Because he was a drunken abusive asshole who made my life a living hell for the years I was with him and who as you put so eloquently, _cast a shadow over my life_. He is not someone I want to get to know. In fact, I think trying to forge a relationship with him or even vent my frustrations is not something that would make me a better person. I’m pretty sure I might murder him. And then I would not be very emotionally available to have an authentic and honest relationship with all of you, now would I?”

Abed gulped quickly, looked down for a brief moment, and then returned Jeff’s stare. He nodded.

“So this isn’t a man conquers world story.”

“No, Abed, it is not.”

As the group marched on, Abed lingered and muttered to himself, “It’s a very different story indeed.” 

****************************

Shirley gleefully waived over her patrons, the Study Group included, after she and Pierce finished cutting the ceremonial ribbon at the grand opening of Shirley’s Sandwiches.

Alex pushed a mop in the background, nervously touching his dark sideburns, which were starting to grow out from their usual star shape.

Kevin eyed him suspiciously before Ian punched him in the shoulder and handed him a listing for a two bedroom on Fifth Street.

Britta attempted to give Troy a hug, as he had just finished telling her about the horribleness of the Air Conditioning Repair School, when Abed cut in and Troy and Abed embraced.

Pierce bent down to pick up Sophie and Jeff swooped in to scoop her up. He carried her off to Annie, who awaited him on the dance floor.

The Dean had also announced the end of the year Greendale Community College _Sandwich Dance_. No one tried to think too hard on that one.

Jeff placed Sophie down and took her hand, his other reaching for Annie.

“We made it through another year.”

“We did.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to all my readers for making it this far. It’s been a lot of fun writing part three of this AU. Please be on the look out for part four, to be posted soon. As always, make sure to subscribe to celerylapel if you wish to be notified when the next part comes out.


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